Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Steps Of Courage ❯ What You Never Knew ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply. Always.

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Chapter 7

“So, you saw me standing there, all alone, and I seemed like an easy target, did I?" Naruku spat fiercely.

The men assaulting her glanced at each other and nodded dimly.

"Oh great, I'm against a bunch of half-wits," she said to herself. "Oh joy."

Before they could make a move, she rushed at them, using the ball of her hand to smash one guy's nose in. He flew back a few inches and blood poured out of his nose.

Naruku smirked inwardly. And Kenshin doesn't want to train me, does he? The other men closed in, taking it as a personal insult that she, a mere girl, had taken down one of their number.

One quickly grew into three, but Naruku was tiring out, and some of her opponents hadn't even begun yet. One of the remaining six charged at her, attempting to tackle her. She slipped out of the way and meant to send a kick to the guy's head, but was restrained by her kimono. She fell right to the floor and was then pinned there by two hands.

She cried out, but didn't mention the words 'let go of me' because she figured if they had worked that hard to catch her, they weren't going to release her on her own word.

Instead she struggled intensely and then, deeming it impossible, went limp.

"Hand over all your money, bitch!" a man demanded, his face entirely too close to hers.

"How am I supposed to hand it over," she began irritably. "If I am pinned to the ground?"

"So you're even a smart-ass when you're helpless," the man grunted.

"Better than being a dumbass," she shot back. The man in charge of holding her down twisted her arms in an uncomfortable way. "Itai!" she cried out.

"You'll be a lot less irksome when you're screaming my name while I screw your brains out," he told her roughly.

"Because I sure know what your name is," Naruku replied sarcastically, barely intimidated by his vulgar choice of words.

The men stared at each other blankly until her captor spoke again. "It's Ginkowa."

"Duly noted," she answered curtly.

"That's it bitch!" he shouted, rolling her onto her back and shoving her face into the dirt.

"Itai!" she coughed as he rolled her onto her back once again. "Fine, take my money. Just let me go so I can get it."

"Do I look that stupid girl?" he shouted, piercing her ears. She cringed.

"Do I have to answer that?" she returned in a similar tone.

He roared and raised a fist.

"Don't touch her!" a voice yelled.

Kenshin. Of course. To my rescue, like always.

The leader of her assaulters marched right up to Kenshin. "So she's your wench, 'ey? Or just your whore…?"

Kenshin's eyes flashed a distinct shade of steel blue at these words, but he said nothing.

"So, then, how much to get a piece of her?" he asked Kenshin, while the men behind him guffawed. Naruku herself was quite certain that 'Ginkowa' only wanted a rise out of his challenger.

"Let her go or I will draw my sword," Kenshin abstained calmly.

"Think I'm scared?" Ginkowa returned. He betrayed himself then and sent a worried glance down at Kenshin's right hand, which rested on his sword.

That is, until Ginkowa spoke again and the sword was unsheathed and slashed very quickly at him.

"Woah," Naruku whispered to herself. She had never seen Kenshin fight like this before, with such furious precision.

She used her captor's own astonishment to her advantage and squirmed around to get herself free, without much success.

By this time, her other attackers had launched themselves at Kenshin, hoping, maybe, to catch him off guard or something. What they didn't know was that Kenshin was always on guard.

He cut down most of them with one quick slash, but a few of them got up for more.

Naruku, on the hand, had finally come to a resolution to her predicament. She raised her head to the man's arms and bit down hard. He yelped in pain and she jumped away before he could pin her again.

In front of her eyes, men were dropping like flies, but Kenshin wasn't to be seen save for the quick flashes as he moved from opponent to opponent with speed similar to a god's. Her expression deepened into worry.

"Kenshin!" she cried, throwing herself at the spot where she thought he was. She was too slow, and tumbled to the ground. She bit her lip, keeping in an exclamation of pain as she rolled to her feet and took off again.

She raced alongside where Kenshin was making his path, ducking through men who were just barely getting up. The opportunity struck and Naruku leaped and tumbled through the air, smashing into Kenshin and pushing him to the floor beneath her.

"I'm sorry," She said sheepishly in his ear. "I just—It looked like you weren't going to stop and…" she blushed and got to her feet quickly. Kenshin followed suit.

"Gomen, I did not mean to worry you," Kenshin answered.

"Yeah, well theses guy's are bastards anyway," she commented dryly. "And I happen to know you'd never hurt me." She gave him a feeble smile, but it quickly turned into a look of distant concentration. She bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows together.

Wordlessly he placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I'm just sorry that had to happen. If I hadn't gone off—"

"Really, Kenshin," she cut him off. "I'm honestly not that shaken up about it."

"Let's go home," he whispered. She nodded gratefully, clutching the crushed, broken-stemmed irises in her right hand as they set off, Kenshin's arm still around her.

At the dojo gate they were greeted by Kaoru. "Okaeri nasai," she spoke formally. "How was your evening?"

The two in front of her exchanged a glance that was invisible to Kaoru's eyes due to the darkness of the sky around them.

"Let's just say that Kenshin was right to be worried about me getting mugged or harassed," Naruku shrugged, trying to play it off as a non-rattling experience. "Um," she spoke again, hesitantly. "I'm going to bed…if that's okay with you," it was directed at Kaoru.

"No, no, go right ahead, you must be tired…" her voice petered out as Naruku turned away swiftly and strode down the hall without a backwards glance; save for a solemn look she cast Kenshin briefly. Somehow, she realized, everything was not okay between them. And she wasn't sure why.

Kaoru sighed and wrapped an arm around her cousin's shoulders, following his line of sight to Naruku's retreating form. She leaned her head against the crook of his neck, while he remained motionless.

"You'll figure it out soon enough," she mumbled into his shoulder, before releasing him.

It was dusk the next day by the time Kenshin got around to talking with Naruku. He ambled slowly over, dreading what would happen when he made it over to her. If he made the journey long enough, the destination would never come.

He knew that Naruku saw him coming over, but she pretended not to, swinging her hanashitou furiously in the practice stance. Looking closer Kenshin noticed the slight flaw in her grip. She wasn't terrible, but her skills would never flourish if she didn't have an instructor.

He finally reached her, but stayed silent for a while longer, just watching her attempts. Finally he spoke. "Why is it that you feel you must learn the Hiten Mitsurugi?" he questioned.

She didn't answer for a little while, trying to stay focused on her swings. "I have to learn—" she began between breaths. She stopped and started over again, still swinging her sword. "I need to understand why Hitokiri Battousai did the things he did ten years ago. I think if I learn his sword style I'll…understand."

Kenshin gaped at her. It was certainly not the answer he had been expecting. "H…How do you know that? How do you know Battousai's sword technique?"

Again she concentrated on her swings for a few seconds before replying, "I just…do."

Kenshin didn't seem to like this response very much at all, but he knew he would not get the real reason out of her anytime soon. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Picking his words out carefully in his mind this time, he went on, "Is revenge what you want?" he asked.

For a second he thought that maybe Naruku hadn't heard him. But as he looked on, she finally ceased her practicing and turned to face him, her sword pointed straight toward the ground at her side. "…revenge?" she echoed. She contemplated before finally replying, "No, no," she decided at last. "It's not revenge I want. It's…more like, understanding. I just want to know why."

They were both silent a moment after that, the moon swiftly rising in the sky, staring down at them, the sky blanketing them with dark.

Kenshin drew in breath. "Naruku…"

Her skin prickled at his voice, soft and low, full of worry. "Hai."

"I…" his mouth went dry, and he wasn't sure how to say it. "I never told you before. I should have. After your first few days here, it seemed natural for you to know, but…I didn't want to tell you. Now I will," he stared down at the alluring green orbs that had widened with apprehension. "Ten years ago we all fought with our swords for what we believed in. Ten years ago I would have killed anyone my supervisor told me to. Ten years can change a person a lot, whether it is backwards or forwards in time. Ten years ago, I was known as Hitokiri Battousai."

She blanched. "Y—uh…" she tried to form her sentence, but couldn't, not with those intense pools of violet cutting into her, delving beneath her face. "Oh," was all she said, the syllable faint on her tongue.

Her eyes flickered away from his brooding stare down to the sword in her hand. She lifted it… and sheathed it. Closing her eyes for a moment, Naruku allowed a tiny, bitter smile to spread across her face. "I, um…uh, I don't think that I'll be able to…stay here any longer. I overstayed my welcome already and…" she spoke not to Kenshin's face, for she couldn't bring herself to look at him, but instead to the sharp pebbles that lay scattered around their feet. "Well, I ought to be going now. Tell Kaoru-chan how grateful I am to her and…um…Goodbye." Without even glancing up at his face she turned away, striding out the gate with as much composer as she could muster even as tears dropped from her eyes.

The few steps through the gate and down the main path felt long and slow to Naruku. Every time she lifted a foot it felt heavy. Her movements were tiring, but she made it out, away from Kenshin's long forlorn stare as he stood still, all alone in the courtyard.

Kaoru sat quietly and tried to recall a time when she had seen Kenshin cry. She stared down at her lap, the stony silence engulfing her and her cousin. No, Kaoru concluded at last, Kenshin had never cried as long as she knew him. At least not tears that he could show. But looking at him now, it was unmistakable. Physical drops of salty water rolled downwards from his eyes.

He brought a hand to his face and covered the lower portion of his face with it, feeling the hot salty tears gather there. He blinked as he drew it away, wet.

Kaoru sighed and stood up. "I'm making tea," she announced. "And when I'm back you're going to do some talking," she said determinedly as she marched off toward the kitchen. She returned a second later, waiting impatiently for the water to boil. Her own thoughts swallowed her mind as she contemplated what could have happened to Kenshin.

"Kaoru-dono the tea is ready," Kenshin told her quietly. No new tears dropped off his cheeks, but his voice was small and desolate.

"Baka!" Kaoru cried, slamming her hands on the table. "You'll tell me with the stupid water has boiled but not way you came in here crying?"

Kenshin didn't respond, preferring the stoic silence.

"Kami, Kenshin…I'm sorry," Kaoru softened. "I just…well god, what am I supposed to expect? Ah, nevermind," she prattled on, getting up again to fix the tea. She came back a moment later and paused to look at Kenshin. His expression was…Kaoru narrowed her eyes. It was something she had never seen him as. It was sorrow, but more than that. His eyes were tired, his body weary. He almost looked this way once before…Days before Saitou had fought him at the dojo he had been reliving the Meiji Restoration in his dreams. Was he thinking of that now?

Finally Kaoru tore her gaze away and sat down in front of him, placing the tea at his fingertips, but he took no notice, even as the warm steam rose into his face.

"Kenshin…" Kaoru began softly. "Have some tea, will you?"

He didn't say anything.

"Please have some Kenshin," she continued, her eyebrows furrowing in worry. She bit her lip gently. Looking at his face again she saw something else there. Someone else. Her blue eyes widened as she realized it was her own face she saw! Her depression, her paralysis. It was the way she had remembered looking after Kenshin left her in Tokyo. It was frightening to see him with that expression. "Please drink some tea Kenshin!" she cried desperately. She didn't want him this way. She didn't want him afraid or worried. She wanted him to react, like a normal human. She bit her lip again, harder this time, as she looked into his eyes. The grief there…it was more proof than anything that Kenshin was human.

The whole time she had known him she wanted to love him, for him to love her, for him to be human once again. To be whole. She thought she wanted him to feel everything she could feel. But maybe she never wanted that at all. Now that he was mourning, all she wanted was for him to smile again. To be strong again, so she knew that she could too. But he had been mourning his whole life, and it was only now that Kaoru realized this. She put her head down and let the raven locks fall over her face. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't. If Kenshin couldn't be strong, she would.

She looked up and saw Kenshin reaching for the cup of tea. He brought it to his lips and took a sip. He put it back down.

"See now, isn't that better?" Kaoru said softly, but she could not bring herself to smile. "Kenshin, tell me what happened. Please…"

"Aa," he answered at last. "Though I should think Sano and Yahiko would not want to be kept out of the loop."

He was staring over past Kaoru at a point behind her. She spun to look, her face growing annoyed. "You stupid eavesdroppers!" she yelled, taking notice of how Yahiko and Sano shrank back at her glare. She sighed and waved them in. "If Kenshin wants you to know then you can stay and listen," she told them. Gratefully the sat down around Kenshin and Kaoru.

"Where's…" she began, but she cut herself off. How stupid she had been! She hadn't even put two and two together. Naruku wasn't there…something must have happened to her. She turned her gaze back on Kenshin as he began to talk.

"Kuso," Naruku cursed under her breath. She had stopped running by this time and was now shuffling along at a dismal pace. She kicked a forlorn chunk of rock. Hard. "Goddamnit!" she screamed, watching as the rock hit the side of a building and bounced away. She fell to her knees and, ignoring the sharp rocks cutting into her skin, screamed as loud as she could. She breathed hard and closed her eyes faintly and leaned her head back. "Chikuso…" she moaned, choking out sobs.

"I wish…" she began, but then stopped. There was nothing to wish for. Nothing, not a work of magic or a thousand apologies could make this okay. Still, she tried for it. "I wish that I had told Kenshin why. I wish he understood." She pounded her hand on the rough surface of the ground. "I wish I understood…" She was alone again. She was always alone.

Stale silence hung in the air, blanketing the four residents in its thick wake.

"I…don't believe it," Kaoru began. "Why would she care after all this time?"

Kenshin shook his head. He didn't have any answers, and Kaoru felt foolish to ask.

"I guess it's just the four of us again," she observed dolefully. She sighed and cleared away her and Kenshin's tea cups. "We should probably…get some rest."

Yahiko's brown eyes were weary, and for once he didn't object. But Sano did.

"Hell no!" he roared. "I can sleep with I'm this damn angry!"

"Sano, please, quiet down!" Kaoru admonished. "Even if you are mad, shouting isn't going to help!" her own voice had reached a volume greater than regular speech. Sano thought it was pretty hypocritical coming from Kaoru herself.

"I just can't believe that bitch!" he yelled. "Who the hell does she think she is? Does she think she's better than Kenshin just because she hasn't dirtied her pretty little fingers with another's blood? That is so egotistical! How can she be so self-righteous? Kenshin fought only to protect the reality that she enjoys now, doesn't she understand that?"

Kaoru winced and tried meekly to calm him down.

Yahiko spoke up. "I never thought I'd see the day when Sanosuke protects the Choshu fighters…"

Sano ignored him.

"But seriously, I just can't believe Naruku would feel that way. She didn't seem like the type to be prejudice like that," Yahiko piped.

"She deceived us!" Sano replied, his anger still flaring.

Kaoru had had enough already. "That's it. Out of the house," she barked at Sano.

"What?" he yelled. "You're actually on her side?" he cried, scandalized.

"No," Kaoru replied gruffly. "I'm not on anyone's side except Kenshin's. And you aren't helping him in the least bit by shooting off your trap. So get out!"

"Che," Sano replied. "I'm too angry to stay indoors anyway." He got up and walked out the door to the darkness outside.

Kaoru bit her lip and tried to stop tears from coming. "Damn that Naruku…" she said under her breath, echoing the thoughts of Sano. But she said it for a different reason. "We should get to sleep," she stated, her decision mostly directed at Yahiko.

"Uh…" he gave a sideways glance at Kenshin who was silent and miserable. "Is he going to be okay?"

Kaoru didn't have an answer.

Naruku's gait had grown slower and slower. By now she was dragging her feet slowly along, trudging down the path. She didn't know where she was going. She wanted to just sit down, lie in the street for all she cared, and sleep. Sleep away the dark and loneliness. Maybe sleep her whole life. She sighed and her eyes fluttered closed.

It was silent, at this hour no one was awake. So the sudden footsteps that crunched toward her were sharp and distinct. Someone was nearing her.

Naruku didn't so much as flinch at the resonating sound of crunching rocks. She simply didn't care. She didn't care if she was mugged or raped or murdered on the spot. She continued plodding along, without a destination.

A hand wrapped around her wrist and she freaked out. Her eyes shot open and she started struggling wildly before she realized what she was doing. She had lied. She did care. She cared a lot. She didn't want to get harmed anymore than she had a week ago. She wanted to live, and she had never felt this yearning stronger than she did in that fleeting second. If only this realization had come to her sooner.

"Get off me!" she screamed, tugging her arm away. "Please let me go! Let go!" She brought a knee up to hit him in the crotch, but he grabbed her leg before it gave it gave him a mortal wound. He released her wrist but then encircled her with his arms. She was pressed up against his chest, and the arms were thick and bulky around her. He was too strong.

"Naru-chan," he said in her ear. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"It's you!" she realized, ceasing her struggle and accepting his embrace. "How did you—where are—are you all right?"

He chuckled softly. "Just fine. And you?"

"I'm…" she began, but her sentence died before it began. "I'm so happy to see you," she said in a rush. She closed her eyes and tried to fight the sense of impending doom. It was more like fighting reality.

"Where have you been staying all this time?" he questioned.

Shit, she thought. She wasn't stupid. She wouldn't tell him. "I…uh…was staying at the Kamiya dojo," she admitted. Damnit! She berated herself. You really are a stupid little bird, some wicked part of her mind taunted.

His eyes darkened, though she couldn't see their depths. "That isn't some whorehouse is it?"

"It's a dojo!" she yelled. Instinctively she cringed.

"Ah well, my apologies," he replied, surprising her. "I fear I'm just a little overprotective."

"Well I'm not staying there anymore," she thought she'd try her luck a second time by being so blunt.

"Did they kick you out?" he asked sharply.

"N-no…" she replied, trying to put what happened into words. "I…didn't want to stay there anymore. I hurt someone I was very close to. Please let's just go…" she pulled out of his arms.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"I don't want to talk about it," she replied fiercely. His expression softened.

"All right," he replied lovingly, pulling her back toward him. "We can—"

"Hey!" an outraged voice yelled from not too far off. "Get your hands off her! Don't touch her!"