Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ The Journey Home ❯ Cause & Effect ( Chapter 2 )

The Journey Home

Cause & Effect

Chapter 2

Kaoru stood in the middle of the dojo compound staring at nothing particular just wishing that the hot tears running down her face would finally end. Only moments ago she has said good-bye to the one person she had come to love deeply. Himura Kenshin. He was leaving her again, to continue on his wandering ways. Forgetting he had once promised her never to leave again. That now he considered the dojo home. Nevertheless, he'd given that all up for some stupid idea that he was protecting her from further pain. Too bad he wasn't here now to see the real pain that, no sword could bring--the pain of feeling her heart break. The pain of knowing that with that final good-bye she gave away half her soul. Thinking about the final good-bye that Kenshin said to her, the pain inside her intensified to where she doubled over in grief.

Sanosuke silently entered the dojo to see Kaoru standing in the middle of the courtyard. From the shaking of her shoulders, he could tell that she was still crying. Sano rarely saw Kaoru cry, but when he did it was always because of Kenshin. That bastard! He didn't know a good thing when he had it. For someone so in tune with Jou-chan the asshole didn't know a damn thing about her. And if he did, how could he leave her like this? How?

When Yahiko walked in, he saw Sanosuke who was clinching and unclenching his hands as if he needed someone to punch. Kaoru was silently crying in the middle of the courtyard. Unlike Kaoru or Sano, he wasn't pissed or saddened, well, maybe just a little bit. He was mostly confused, he would have never thought in a million years that Kenshin would walk out on Kaoru again. Not after all that trouble, they went through to bring him back from Kyoto and depths of despair when Enishi 'killed' Kaoru. And the thing about his enemies sure they had come, and were scary, but they always defeated them, the Kenshin Gumi was unstoppable. Why did Kenshin change his mind? Why? Yahiko looked off into empty space trying to find his own answers why Kenshin would suddenly leave him behind.

Being the last person to come into the dojo Megumi shut the door quietly behind her. Like Yahiko, she would have never thought that Kenshin would volunteer to leave Kaoru again. Kenshin was always so sweet, gentle and polite. No one would have ever guessed that he could be so cruel to his friends--to his heart. Sure, she would have liked Kenshin to look at her the way he did Kaoru, but she knew that he never would, and lately she didn't want him to. She just teased Kenshin and Kaoru out of habit. Megumi looked at Kaoru's shaking back from the forceful tears that she was shedding so silently. What happened to make Kenshin want to leave her again? Why was he leaving all of them behind again?

"They won't stop," said Kaoru in a sad voice startling the others out of their own private musings. "They won't stop. I'd promised myself not to shed a tear, but they won't stop. They keep falling down. How do I make them stop?"

The three turned and looked at each other not knowing what to say to put Kaoru at ease. But, they couldn't think of anything to say or comfort at that moment.

"You must think I'm crazy for letting Kenshin go."

"No!" The three voices cried out in unison.

"That's nice of you. I know that you don't really understand, but I had to do it. There's nothing worse than being stuck in a place you do not want to be; that's why I didn't remind Kenshin about his promise to me.

Each of them silently agreed. They too still remembered their situations before Kenshin came into their lives. They had not wanted to be in those dealings, but they couldn't find a way out without breaking those promises they made. Until Kenshin showed them a way to get out, and found them a way to hold onto their honor or get it back.

"Gomen nasai, mina. I ruined everything….everything."

Striding forward, Sanosuke spun Kaoru around to face him as the others gathered around. "That's not true Jou-chan. And, you know it. If anybody ruined anything here, it was Kenshin. Not you!"

"You don't know what I did. I ruined everything," she repeated as she covered her face and leaned into Sanosuke's arms where she continued to weep. Sanosuke wrapped his arms around her while he methodically ran his hands up and down her back trying to hush the new gale of tears she'd just let loose. His eyes were silently pleading with Yahiko or Megumi to say something to stop the tears.

Although Megumi was moved by the tenderness, that Sanosuke was displaying now she couldn't come up with a single thing to say that would calm Kaoru down.

Noticing that Megumi was lost for words-a first, and Sanosuke was lost for words-no big lost. Yahiko knew it was all up to him to say something to calm Kaoru down. Yosh, Yahiko thought now what to say. After thinking up several things and discarding them, he finally settled on the only thing he thought was worth saying at that moment. "It's his loss."

As soon as the words left Yahiko's mouth, he knew he shouldn't have said them. Moreover, with the glares he was getting from Megumi and Sanosuke's directions he definitely knew he shouldn't have said them. But the words seemed to have the effect needed, because Kaoru's tears dried up.

"You're right, Yahiko" came the muffled reply from Sano's shirt. "It is his loss." Pushing away from Sano, Kaoru opened her eyes and eyed the members standing there as she wiped at the wetness on her face.

Sagara Sanosuke: proud, brave, foolish sometimes, but a true friend. Takani Megumi: beautiful, knowledgeable, a good cook, and an excellent doctor's assistant. Myojin Yahiko: arrogant, foul-mouthed, and a little rough around the edges, but he's been the best student and younger brother that she'd ever had or want. They were all a little older and wiser because of Kenshin--and passage of time--but she knew looking at them, because they had become a family she was holding them back. She had to set them free.

Yahiko needed to become a man, she didn't know how to teach him, and instead of going out into the world and learning how to become a man, he would be stuck with her. Afraid to leave her behind like Kenshin did. Sanosuke wasn't even a native to Tokyo, and he was stuck here in this city because he would be afraid to leave her behind, also. Megumi another non-native to Tokyo she had family in Aizu. She'd learned everything that Dr. Gensai could teach her about running her own clinic. Again, she wouldn't leave to carry on with her life if she knew she was abandoning Kaoru. She was holding them back. She'd messed things up and now she had to fix them.

"His loss?" Sano questioned.

"Yes his loss," she said beaming a smile from her tear stained face. "If he wants to leave. Fine it's his choice and his loss. If he wants to play at being the lone rurouni then let him. Why should we waste tears over his choice? If he prefers the trees as his friends, then us it's his loss."

"Humph, we're a great bunch of people who don't need his constant supervision, and if he can't see it that way-well it's his loss."

"If he doesn't want to stick around and see me become a man," said Yahiko. "It's his loss."

"If he doesn't want to take part in our little family," Sano added. "It's his loss."

The four of them looked around at each other smiling then said as one, "It's his loss!" The smiles soon turned to laughter as they suddenly cheered. Kaoru threw back her head and let the high Tokyo sun warm her face, and dry what wetness left from the tears.

The high Tokyo sun, is it afternoon already? The day is almost gone. Kaoru went to open her mouth to say just that, but instead of words coming out a gasp erupted, making her stumble nearly losing her footing at the unexpected pain.

"Kaoru-san what's wrong?" Asked Megumi all traces of laughter gone from her face, in its place a cool efficient doctor emerged. "Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?"

Kaoru waved her way. "No it's just that I noticed it's the afternoon already."

"So," said Sano.

Kaoru glared at him. "Which means the day is half gone. So, you promised you would help your friend Katsu-san today. Yahiko promised to help Tae-san down at the Akabeko, and Megumi-san has patients to tend to until Dr. Gensai returns tomorrow from vacation."

"Che, Jou-chan. Katsu, and Tae will understand if Yahiko or I don't come today." Scratching his head, Sanosuke turned toward Megumi. "However, I don't think that the Fox Lady's patients will understand if she doesn't open the clinic today."

Megumi tossed her black hair over one shoulder and pointed a finger at Sano. "Baka! I can always have a sign put on the front of the clinic for any serious injuries come to the Kamiya Dojo."

"No you can't," contradicted Kaoru. "You need to open up the clinic. Sano needs to help Katsu-san. And Yahiko needs to help down at the Akabeko like he promised."

"Then what are you going to do, Kaoru?" asked Yahiko. "I'm not leaving you here by yourself to cry some more."

"Do you see me crying? I don't plan to do anymore crying today. I plan to organize and clean the dojo, and unless you want to help with that, I suspect you will find yourselves elsewhere.

Not needing Kaoru to repeat herself all three opted to walk out the door. Sano stopped and looked back, but Kaoru just made a shooing motion with her hands, while she smiled at him. Though not entirely comfortable with leaving, her by herself Sanosuke stepped out, and shut the door tightly behind him.

Kaoru glanced around the compound and sighed. She'd ruined things now she'd have to fix it. Kaoru silently made her way toward the bedrooms. They would hate her at first, but then they'll see the wise decision she'd made for all their sakes.

She had to fix things.

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Megumi and Yahiko waited patiently outside the dojo for Sanosuke to shut the door. In silence the three walked down the street, their minds in accord about the young girl they left behind in the compound.

"Should we have left her behind?" Asked Megumi, voicing the question they were all thinking. "Maybe we should have stayed with her."

"Don't worry about Kaoru, Megumi. She's just doesn't like people to see her cry," replied Yahiko.

"Yeah, I agree with the brat. Jou-chan should be all right. You know she really dried up with that 'His loss' thing earlier," reinforced Sanosuke.

"Demo…"

"Don't worry," said Yahiko. "Kaoru is tougher than she looks."

As they neared Dr. Gensai's clinic Sanosuke stopped and touched Megumi on the shoulder, before she could walk up the steps. "I don't really think there is anything to worry about with Jou-chan. Like Yahiko said she is tougher than she looks. Kenshin's desertion has just shaken her composure for now. All she needs is some time alone. We all know that she already spent yesterday cleaning the entire dojo. Don't worry about her. She'll be okay."

Megumi just looked at Yahiko and Sanosuke. Should I believe them she thought. Would they lie to me? Yes and No. Yes, if they thought it would benefit them. No, if they thought something was wrong with Kaoru, they wouldn't let her stay by herself. "I guess your right. Kaoru-san just needs some time to adjust." She smiled at them. "I'll try not to worry too much. If you get to the dojo before me, tell Kaoru-san that I'll make dinner tonight."

"Yatta!" Exclaimed Yahiko his mind drifting thinking of all the good food she would cook.

"Yosh," said Sano as he walked away. "You just tend to your patients Fox and we'll see you later."

As Sanosuke and Yahiko walked down the road to the Akabeko, they both felt a gut wrenching pain. They knew they'd lied to Megumi, and were only guessing-hoping Kaoru would be better by the time they came back to the dojo.

"You know Sano," started Yahiko. "I really hope Kaoru is going feel better."

Sano sighed. "I know what you mean Yahiko. I can't help feeling that something's wrong." They stopped in front of the Akabeko, "Even though we told the Fox not to worry. I'm going to say going to say the same thing to you-though it won't do any good. Don't worry."

"You know something else Sano," called Yahiko before he walked inside the restaurant.

"What?"

"Kenshin is a dick-head."

Sanosuke just smiled at the boy knowing this was the first time, since Yahiko had met Kenshin some three years ago, that he'd bad-mouthed him. "Yeah, he is," he said before walking away.

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Kenshin made his way down the open dirt road putting several miles of dust between him and the Kamiya dojo. If only he hadn't ruined things. Maybe he could have stayed. He sighed looked ahead and saw between the trees the setting sun. It was getting dark. He was going to have to find a place to stay for the night.

Kenshin finally settled on grassy knoll surrounded by trees and a few large boulders. This would be a good place to sleep for the night. In the distance, he heard a stream. Sighing he spoke to himself aloud as he walked toward the brook. "It looks like I'll be having fish tonight."

Staring into the fire that he built to keep himself warm and to cook the two fishes that he caught at the stream, Kenshin watched the flames flicker and dance as they cooked the fish and ate at the firewood. He thought of the home he left behind. He snorted. Could he really still call it his home? I wonder what everybody's doing right now. Are they still angry with me? Does Kaoru hate me?

He sighed and reminded himself again that he walked away to protect her, but the haunting sound of her tears and the whispered 'sayonara' resonated in his ears and heart. I wouldn't blame them if they hated me right now. He sighed again, right now I hate me. But I know this is for a good reason.

Kenshin listened silently as the twigs in the fire snapped and crackled, while the fire itself illuminated the darkening forest. If only I hadn't ruined things. Shadows danced upon Kenshin's face as he thought back to the events that led to him deciding to leave Kaoru, and the dojo along with the rest of its sometimes residents.

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Begin flashback sequence two and half months ago.

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As rain mingled with the blood that dripped down his face, Kenshin watched the quickly disappearing body of Tamura Nobuto plunge to his death. Only moments before Tamura had thrown his body off the cliff, when Kenshin disarmed him during their fight. He didn't even give Kenshin the chance to save him or ask why Tamura had kidnapped Kaoru. Instead, he looked back at the cliff behind, and threw his body off, alternately laughing and cursing the Battousai.

Kenshin watched as the body hit the rocks below with a solid thud. The tide rushed up and carried the body away. Kenshin slowly relaxed his grip on his sword. This fight was unlike others that he fought before; in all other fights he had either known or heard of the people he fought. Tamura Nobuto was neither. And he still didn't know anything about Tamura except for the fact that he wanted to kill him and to draw him out he kidnapped Kaoru.

How did he know, Kenshin wondered. How did he know that Kaoru was his weakness? How had he known that to draw him out was to kidnap Kaoru? Why did he want to kill the Battousai? Where did his anger come from?

"HELP," screamed Kaoru from her precarious position. "Help me! Kenshin the rope is nearly cut through, I don't have much time."

Kenshin turned, "Kaoru-dono!" He ran toward her body suspending above a bed of sharp knives on a rope. The rope rocked back and forth, as another knife slowly cut the thick rope. Inching her closer to the bed of knives below. He had seen her try several times during the sword fight to break free, but being trussed up with her hands tied and feet tied she couldn't do anything--but wait. Either wait for Kenshin or wait for death.

Kenshin ran to the tree where Kaoru was secured. "Kaoru-dono daijoubu de gozaru ka?"

Blowing hair out her face Kaoru got a better look at Kenshin below. "Iie! My kimono's wet and it's made me heavier."

"I don't think it's the rain," muttered Kenshin.

"NANI YO!"

"Nothing de gozaru." Jumping up he cut what was left of the rope with his sword angling his body to catch her before they hit the sharp knives below. Landing easily Kenshin said underneath his breath, "It's definitely not the rain."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," said Kenshin as he sliced off the ropes, so she could stand up.

"Are you all right Kenshin?" Kaoru asked worriedly as she watched him sheath his sword.

Kenshin looked down at the blood on his hands, "I think so, the blood's not important right now. We need to get out of the rain the storm's getting worse."

"I saw a shack, when he brought me here."

"I saw it too."

Darkness had fallen quickly as Kenshin and Kaoru tried to find their way to the lone shack. Pouring rain coming down fast and hard made their visibility almost nil. Kaoru stumbled twice and would have ended up on her face if Kenshin hadn't caught her each time. Thoroughly drenched Kaoru had almost given up hope that they would find the shack, before her legs gave out.

Kenshin was worried; his side was hurting furiously, and he could feel the slow drip of blood down his thigh. He hoped his side would hold out, he didn't want Kaoru to worry about him. She would just take responsibility for his injury. He just hoped that they found that shack soon. An electric blue streak of lightening lit the southern sky highlighting the cabin that was only a few feet away. "We're almost there, Kaoru-dono."

Reaching the small building, Kenshin tried the door and found it unlocked and easy to open. Kaoru went to walk in but Kenshin's arm shot out blocking her way, "Let me check it out first Kaoru-dono." Walking inside Kenshin could only see the shadow of a huge metal tub, but nothing suspicious or threatening. "It's okay Kaoru-dono; it's safe."

Kaoru walked into the small hut, grateful to be out of the rain. To her left was a dirty window, and a pile of hay in the corner. She looked down at her blue kimono, which looked more like a dark purple now that it was soaking wet and splotches of mud was on the hem. "Mou, Kenshin I'm all wet, and it's freezing in here."

Kenshin who had been feeling his way around the shack glanced back to her. "I found some firewood in one corner. I'm looking for something to start a fire."

Kaoru glanced around to see if she could help him locate a something to start a fire. Getting down on her hands and knees, she felt around near the pile of hay that she saw in the corner. She felt around until her hands brushed over some sticks wrapped together. "I think I've found something Kenshin," she called as she stood so he could see her better.

Kenshin turned and walked toward her to see what she had. Taking the sticks from her, he felt the tops and discovered that these were what he needed. "This is good, Kaoru-dono, now I can get a fire started." Moving to where he saw the metal tub, he pulled it into the middle of the room. "Could you bring me some of that hay Kaoru-dono while I get the firewood." Kenshin strode over the other far corner to get the kindling. Bending down he felt a sharp pain in his side, "Itai," he whispered silently to himself hoping Kaoru had not heard. But she had.

"Kenshin, are you okay?"

"Hai de gozaru."

"Are you sure?"

"Aa. It's nothing to worry about." Kenshin picked up the chopped wood and carried back to tub where Kaoru had earlier dumped in the straw. Depositing his load Kenshin removed one of the matches and struck it on the side of the tub, watching it flare to life. Kenshin lit the hay around the logs, before he lit another match to light the logs. Because it was so dry, the wood caught on fire quickly. Kenshin sent up a silent pray now they weren't going to freeze to death.

Kaoru also had given up a prayer of thanks that the matches worked and they were finally going to have not only heat but light also. She watched as Kenshin slowly got to his feet. He was entirely wet--not as if she was any better--but she knew they had to take off their clothes or risk catching a cold. When Kenshin pivoted around to get a better look of the cabin, she let out a grasp noticing the red stain on his hakama. "Kenshin you're bleeding."

"I know." Kenshin looked down at his side and noticed the blood had soaked through and had become a noticeable stain. "Oro, I didn't think it was this bad," trying to make Kaoru feel at ease.

"You should have told me Kenshin," Kaoru remonstrated him as she hurried over to examine his wound. She looked around for something that she could use to tend to his injury. Spotting what looked like a blanket in another corner, she walked over to discover that it was actually more than one blanket--there were four of them. Kaoru shook them out to chase away any lingering insects and dust. "Here," she said holding out one of the blankets to him, "take off your hakama, so I can see how badly you're hurt."

"Kaoru-dono you don't have to--"

"Off with your shirt."

"But…"

"I said OFF!"

"Hai!" Kenshin replied, not wanting to anger her further.

She watched as Kenshin obediently took of his hakama and gasped again when she saw the gash on his side. "Gomen nasai, Kenshin. If I had been paying attention, I wouldn't have been kidnapped, and you wouldn't have gotten hurt like this."

Kenshin saw the tears swell up in her lapis lazuli eyes; he knew she would take the blame for him getting hurt. She always did. Kenshin looked down at his side. "It's not so bad." He wiped a tear that rolled down her face. "This is not your fault."

Kaoru just shook her head. Taking one of the blankets she went to the door and held out a corner, so some rainwater could wet it. She moved back to Kenshin and began tending his wound, but faltered when she heard Kenshin suck in a painful breath. "Gomen ne. It doesn't look too deep, so you should be okay. I wish Megumi-san was here to do this."

"You've done enough. Now it's your turn to get out of your wet clothing."

"Demo, Kenshin…" to embarrassed to continue.

Seeing the faint blush that spread on her cheeks Kenshin smiled. "Why don't I hold up a blanket for a screen, while you change."

"But you'll hurt your side."

"It doesn't hurt that much, it only pains me when I bend my side. Therefore, I will be fine. Please, Kaoru-dono, I don't want you to catch a cold, because you're worried about me."

Kenshin took another blanket to create a screen for Kaoru to change out of her wet kimono. Stretching his arms high so that several inches of the blanket would be over his head, to give Kaoru the security that he could not see her unclothed form.

Kaoru stood motionless for several seconds making sure that Kenshin couldn't see her before she changed into one of the blankets. Reaching behind her back, she undid her obi and the rest of her clothes laying them flat on the ground to dry. Picking up the blanket, she wrapped it around her naked body.

Making sure that the blanket was tightly secure around her body Kaoru walked up and placed her hands on top of Kenshin's. "I'll take the blanket now Kenshin, you need to get out of the rest of your wet clothes."

Kenshin slipped his hands from under hers reluctantly. He did not want to change out of his pants, nor did he want Kaoru to yell at him, so that only really left him with one choice. Untying the straps to his pants, he slipped them off, and laid them flat on the floorboards to dry. Kenshin picked up the last remaining blanket to wrap around his own nudity. Looking down at himself Kenshin blushed. There was no way the day could get worse, he thought ruefully to himself.

"Kenshin I think the fire's going out," Kaoru called to him.

"I'll get some more wood."

Kaoru tentatively dropped the cover to peek over the top to see if Kenshin' s was decent. He was. Kaoru gave a cautious smile. "You look cute wrapped in a blanket, Kenshin."

"Oro?" Kenshin turned and blinked at Kaoru his arms full of more firewood. "Sessha?"

"Hai." She smiled again as she watched as a red hue, spread over his cheeks. "Kawaii."

Kenshin coughed and walked to put the tinder in the dwindling fire.

Kaoru looked at him before she turned to spread the blanket that they had used as a screen over some straw on the floor to so they could have a somewhat padded place to sleep.

Kenshin glanced over from idly feeding the fire to see that Kaoru had arranged a sleeping area. In the soft glow of the firelight, Kaoru's creamy complexion became an ethereal glow. She looked like a mini-goddess straightening out the corners on the makeshift bed. Kenshin shook his head at the thoughts that were raging through his head. He already knew that she would violently object if he suggested he sleep elsewhere. How was he going to get out of this one? Kenshin stood up and tried to pretend that he didn't know that the bed was for the both of them intending on ignoring the complications it represented, but his side felt differently. "Hsst," cried Kenshin as he sucked in a painful breath.

Kaoru quickly turned to him. "Are you okay, Kenshin? Maybe you should come over here and lie down."

Kenshin smiled. "I'm okay. It's nothing."

"I still think you should lay down, Kenshin. You need the rest."

"Demo, Kaoru-dono..." he stopped not knowing how to put it delicately.

She smiled reading his mind perfectly. "Kenshin we're both wrapped in blankets, and I trust you."

"Kaoru-dono--"

She looked up him from the blanket with eyes nearly in tears, her last weapon left in her arsenal. "You need to lay down Kenshin."

Kenshin sighed. He couldn't stand the sight of her tears. "You're right I need to lay down." Crossing over to the make shift futon, he gingerly lowered his body to the floor, and turned to face her.

Real tears started to fall down her cheeks as Kaoru noticed the grimace that came across Kenshin's face as he lowered himself down on the blanket. "Gomen nasai, Kenshin. If I hadn't been so stupid, I knew I was being followed, I should have done something about it then you wouldn't have been hurt."

Kenshin reached over to wipe off one of the falling tears. "It's not your fault. It is my fault for being the Hitokiri Battousai. Moreover, I'm glad you didn't do something; you might have been hurt or worse killed. I rather have my blood spilled, then to ever see an inch of yours outside your body. "

"Oh, Kenshin", she sighed reaching up she grabbed one of his callused hands. "It's not your fault either. And I rather none of our blood was shed." She held onto his hand few more seconds before letting go and rolling over.

Following suit, he turned over to his good side to rest, but images of Kaoru wrapped in her blanket kept invading his mind. Even his hand would not let him sleep! He could still feel her soft flesh under his callused thumb from where he wiped her tears away.

It seemed like hours passed before Kaoru finally rolled back over toward Kenshin where she not only stared at his back, but also inched forward to share his body heat. How could I almost get him killed? Why didn't I stop myself from being followed?

He froze when he felt her roll toward his back and inch closer. He wondered if she could feel the heat rising from his body, or the furious thudding of his heart. Feeling her eyes on him, Kenshin turned back to see her dark blue eyes regarding him silently. His own violet eyes questioned back.

Kaoru reached out to take his hand into hers where she just held it as she continued to look into his eyes. She'd been laying there thinking about how close Kenshin came to losing his life trying to save hers. If she had lost him, she would have never gotten the chance to tell him how much she loved him. Moisture misted her eyes again; because of her Kenshin nearly lost his life, and now was badly hurt. Kaoru stared down at the hand that she held in her possession, the hand of her dear Kenshin, raising the hand to her lips she laid a faint kiss upon it.

In the silence of the shack, Kenshin lay shocked as he listened to the pitter-patter of rain on the roof. Kaoru reached out and grabbed his hand where she intertwined their fingers, and kissed it. He could not believe it. Kenshin looked back up to her face where he saw her eyes were gathering tears again. Not wanting to free his one hand Kenshin leaned up on his forearm and looked down into Kaoru's eyes. "It wasn't your fault," he whispered. Then did something that surprised them both: he kissed her--on the lips.

Kaoru blinked when he drew back. Her first kiss from Kenshin. She smiled and felt warmth spread throughout her body.

Kenshin drew back in shock, and quickly looked down at Kaoru's face to access the damage he just unwittingly committed. He didn't mean to do that, but it felt so right at the time--especially given his increasing feelings for her. "Kaoru-dono, I 'm sor--"

Kaoru rose up a little. "Shhssh," she whispered, "I'm not." Leaning forward, Kaoru kissed him back.

Caught up in the kiss Kenshin pulled Kaoru's body closer to his, to hold her securely in place. And for the rest of the night, they only needed one blanket.

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End Flashback sequences two and half months ago.

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As Kaoru wandered around the dojo memories of Kenshin flashed in her mind: Kenshin cooking in the kitchen, Kenshin washing clothes with the children, Kenshin drinking tea with Dr. Gensai on the porch, Kenshin he was…he was everywhere. He was an integral part of her life, and now he was gone. Kaoru opened the door to Kenshin's room and glanced around, she could even see him sleeping. Now she will never see him do any of these things again.

Walking further into the room Kaoru shut the door behind her looking down she glanced at the letter and two pictures in one hand and the make wooden case in the other hand. The letter she had addressed to Myojin Yahiko, and wooden case was the last gift her father gave her before he died. She could still hear his voice when he gave it to her, "Use this when you have no alternative. Do not bring shame to your family."

Kaoru sighed who would have thought that she would ever have a need for this little box. She haltingly moved toward the center of the floor where she dropped to her knees and placed the letter a few paces away from her, but she kept the picture within reach. Setting the wooden box down in front of her Kaoru stared at it, before opening it to reveal a small dagger that she had kept sharp over the years. She did not need to test the sharpness of the blade knowing already that it was well honed for what she was going to do.

With tears in her eyes, Kaoru glanced down at the pictures she'd laid next to the box. One was the picture that she had taken two or three years ago, with the money Kenshin had gotten when they foiled that train robbery. She could remember what she was thinking when she sat in the chair surrounded by her men: Where did Kenshin get that horse?

The other picture was of Megumi surround by Dr. Gensai and the children; she remembered how excited Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan were about the photograph. Oh, how they rushed to get dressed in their prettiest kimonos, and have their hair styled in traditional Japanese fashion. Megumi and her had a good laugh together watching Kenshin try and help Suzume-chan dress.

"I'm going to miss you my friends," she lovingly whispered to the pictures as more tears raced down her face, and her mind became bombarded with thousands of memories. "I'm really going to miss you. When we meet each other again, please don't be angry with me."

Picking up the knife from its bed Kaoru turned it where it was pointing blade at her stomach, no she thought I cannot, I could never.

Pushing the sleeves up on her kimono, she looked at her wrist; from Dr. Gensai, she learned how cuts on the wrist that were deep enough could cause fatality. Redirecting the knife, Kaoru slashed one wrist in a cross scar pattern. The pain was excruciating, but Kaoru was able to hold onto the small sword with the other hand and do the same slash routine she did on the other wrist.

Dropping the dagger Kaoru laid down on the floor with head looking toward the pictures, she watch as her blood pumped out of her torn body spread across the floor. I should have moved the pictures, was her last thought before Kaoru gave her weary soul up for an eternal sleep.

********************************************************

Yahi ko distractedly bussed another table, his mind on Kaoru, for the last few minutes he'd been having a weird feeling that was bothering him, and he did not know what to do. He couldn't tell anybody about his feelings or they would look at him strangely or worse like some paranoid woman.

Tae watched as the distracted Yahiko placed another bowl into the tub he carried. He must be still shaken up from this morning, she thought as she watched his slow sluggish movements. Who would have thought that Ken-san would leave Kaoru-chan. She'd already had so much heartache in her life she didn't need more. Just when I think something more would come out of that relationship. She shook her head and tsk'ed to herself. Men what strange creatures they are!

Tae watched on as Yahiko cleaned up the last table from the Tanaka party, and decided that he should go home and be with Kaoru. "Yahiko-kun," she called to him.

Yahiko deep in his own thoughts didn't hear Tae call him until the third time. "Hai."

"After you take those dishes to Rei to be washed you can go home."

"But my shift isn't over, Tae-san."

"I know, but you've had a tiring day. And you're an honorable person who has stood straight through all this, and managed to keep your promise to help me today, but I think you need to go home and be with Kaoru-chan."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," he answered sheepishly remembering how he was going to cancel today and stay home with Kaoru before she kicked him out the dojo. "Domo arigatou, Tae-san."

Yahiko walked to the back of the restaurant and gave the dishes to the new dish washing guy, Rei. Turning around he went to hand his apron on a spare wooden peg, but found Tsubame blocking his way.

"Ah, Tsubame," he called some moments later when it came apparent that she was not going to say anything. "Can I help you?"

Blushing Tsubame looked up at him. "Y-Yahiko-kun, I hope you feel better tomorrow." Standing on her tiptoes, she reached up, kissed him on the cheek, and blushed once more before she ran outside to attend to a customer.

Yahiko stood there for a moment looking at her retreating figure then proceeded to hang up his stripped apron, with a disgusting yellow daffodil on the face of it. Kaoru had made it for him to wear at the Akabeko. He would have asked for a new one but Tsubame thought it looked cute on him, so he was stuck with it--for now. Yahiko said his thanks and good-byes to Tae for letting him leave early. Once he left the Akabeko he picked up speed walking and within two minutes, he was flat out running to the dojo.

Arriving at the dojo Yahiko walked around to the front entrance to enter the house. It was quiet. "Tadaima," he cried as he walked in tabi covered feet through the house. "Kaoru?"

No answer.

He tried again, but to no avail. Was she sleeping? Yahiko strolled over to Kaoru's room, and called her. "Kaoru?" Still no answer. He knocked on the wooden frame as he called her name again. However, there was still no answer to his summons.

Looking around Yahiko noticed how quiet the house seemed. It was deathly quiet. Since, he had came to live here he'd never heard it be this quiet before, something was always making a sound. However, not even the sound of a lone chirping cricket came forth.

Sliding the door open to Kaoru's room, Yahiko looked inside and found the room empty. Where could she have gone? Maybe she went to walk over to Megumi's house to see what they were having for dinner.

Yeah. That was it. She was over at Megumi's to find out what's for dinner and walk back with her and the kids. Demo, Kaoru didn't know that Megumi was coming over to cook dinner. I was going to tell her when I got home. Well, maybe she was in the kitchen hut cooking. But I didn't see any smoke coming from the kitchen.

The strange feeling intensified inside Yahiko as he stood gazing into Kaoru's room. Backing out the room, he shut the door and proceeded systematically to search the dojo, kitchen, storage, bathroom, bathing chamber, and dining area but found no trace of Kaoru.

Getting frustrated Yahiko sauntered back to the house and search it. He checked the sitting room, the guestrooms and still found no trace of her. The only room he didn't check was Kenshin's room. But Kaoru wouldn't be in there--would she?

"Kaoru?" he called softly. With a shaking hand, Yahiko slowly slid back the rice paper door, and found a terrifying sight. Lying in the middle of Kenshin's room was Kaoru surrounded by blood. A bloodied knife lay by one of her hands. Her creamy complexion now was a grayish hue from lack of oxygen and blood. Her wrist lay flat as they continued to pump out her life's energy from the slashes she had made.

"KAORU!!" Running to her side, Yahiko pushed her over on her back, and pressed one of his small brown hands on her wrist to try to stop the bleeding. The blood would not stop flowing; he stared in shock as it seeped through his tight fist. Why? Yahiko called to her again, "Kaoru! Wake up! Open your eyes, Kaoru."

Leaning forward, Yahiko slapped her cold cheek with his bloodied hand, but still received no response. "Hey, busu wake up. This isn't funny." Unbeknownst to him hot tears had been flowing down his face for a while. He wiped at them but only succeeded on smearing blood over his cheeks.

Standing up quickly, he wiped his hands over his yellow and green hakama, moving towards the doorway. I have to find help. Not knowing where he was going Yahiko ran out the nearest exit. Rounding one corner, he blundered into something strong, hard, and white.

"Nani," came the surprised voice.

Hearing the deep and familiar voice Yahiko cried out. "Sanosuke!"

"Oi, Yahiko. Did you miss me that much that you had to run out here and throw your arms around me?"

Yahiko lifted his tear stained face to Sanosuke. "Tasuke! Please."

Sano looked at him in surprise. He expected Yahiko to yell at him and insult him. Not to look at him with tears in his eyes asking for help, and blood on his hands. Blood on his hands? What in the hell happened? "Yahiko, where's this blood from? What's wrong?"

Tears streaming down his face, Yahiko choked out, and "It's Kaoru She's badly hurt and bleeding all over." His eyes went opaque as he remembered the gruesome scene. "There was blood everywhere…everywhere."

"Shit! What the fuck happened?" Sano yelled shaking Yahiko.

"I think-"

"Forget it we don't have time."

They took off running toward the dojo, with Yahiko leading the way towards Kenshin's room. Inside Sanosuke came face to face with the horror that confronted the young boy when he opened the paper door. "Shit!" he exclaimed when he walked over to her body.

Kaoru's pallor had taken on a cold bluish color, as Sanosuke stood over her body looking down at her he could tell that death was about to make an appearance at the Kamiya Dojo. He glanced at the pictures that were now lying in blood, and the knife to the left of them. He had watched as Death took his beloved Captain away, but he wasn't going to let Death win this match--not this time. "Yahiko, put on your shoes, we're taking her to Megumi." He called behind him as he picked up Kaoru in his arms.

Yahiko pulled himself together and got his shoes from outside the house entrance where he had left them, and met Sanosuke at the dojo entrance.

When Sanosuke saw him round the corner, he took off in a dash. As he ran toward down the road that led to the clinic one of Kaoru's cold hands fell across his chest, still bleeding heavily from the wrist. "Shit, Yahiko hurry up she's loosing more blood and getting colder," he said as he increased his speed. Damn Kenshin, he thought this is his fault! If he hadn't left Kaoru again…

As they hurried along Yahiko too was cursing Kenshin in his head. Damn Kenshin! He was always trying to play the hero! Always willing to make sacrifices, but he doesn't know what his 'noble' actions leave behind. "Fuck you Kenshin," Yahiko muttered to himself. "We don't need you anyway."

As they came upon the hospice, Yahiko let out a burst of speed. He ran pass Sanosuke and his burden to beat on the front door. "MEGUMI! Open up! We have an emergency."

Standing behind Yahiko Sano added his voice. "Oi, Megumi! Open the door. It's Jou-chan."

The door slid open to reveal an aggravated Megumi with a scowl on her face. "Couldn't you guys wait for me to get to the dojo to cook dinner? What's with all the--" Her voice trailed off as she got a better look at what Sano carried in his arms, and the tear streaks on Yahiko's face. "Kaoru-san!" She turned to look at the two men. "What happened to her was she attacked? Follow me and explain."

"No," said Sanosuke as they quickly navigated the hallway to the clinic's operating room. "It looks like she is trying to commit suicide." He answered watching as Yahiko lit the necessary lights.

Megumi stopped and stared at him while she tied on her white operating apron and cap. "Suicide? Are you sure?"

Yahiko answered this time. "A knife, a letter, and some pictures we'd taken were laid out on the floor before her," he said as his voice warbled. "There was so much blood."

Laying Kaoru down on the table Sanosuke backed away to stand next to Yahiko who was bravely trying to hold back tears. They both looked on as Megumi walked over to Kaoru and methodically began to examine her, and see if she could save her.

"Hmm, her wrist are slashed pretty good," she confirmed what they already knew. "I need to get her kimono off to make sure she didn't slice herself up anywhere else. I don't like the looks of all this blood."

Moving to a table Megumi picked up some string, bandages, and a brown sack. "Each of you get a stool and get on one side of Kaoru." Shifting toward Yahiko, she took the string and wrapped it around the upper arm of Kaoru. "This will stop the blood flow some," explaining as she went. "The bandages I'm wrapping around her wrist, and you'll apply pressure to it--as tight as you can don't worry about hurting her she's passed out. Again this will help slow down the blood flow." Striding around to Sanosuke, she explained the same process to him. "Now sit down on the stools facing away from Kaoru. I'm about to undo her kimono."

Megumi reached over and undid the simple obi that was holding Kaoru's kimono together. Moving the first and second layers out the way she found herself staring down at Kaoru's chest and noticed that her wrappings were undisturbed, tinged with blood, but in good condition. Quickly moving her trained doctor's eye down she stopped at Kaoru's midsection and gasped. Masaka!

"What?" cried Sano and Yahiko jointly.

"Nothing." She hastily covered up Kaoru's unclothed body. "Nothing."

Working efficiently Megumi took Kaoru's left arm from Yahiko, unwrapped the bandages, and opened the brown bag, pouring some black powder on the wounds. Passing the bag to Sano, she told him to do the same thing. "Yahiko-kun get one of the treated sticks and set the top on fire."

"If you need more light I could just bring the lamp over here."

Looking up with a harried expression, "I need the lighted stick to set the gunpowder that I just poured on fire."

Sano let out a stream of curse words. "You had me pour gunpowder on Jou-chan's gashes."

"Yes," she said. Megumi proceeded to give him the same look she gave Yahiko.

"I'll explain later, right now we don't have time." Taking the stick from Yahiko, she set it to the gunpowder where it raced to life in a small fire the shape of an 'X' before dying. "Now give it to Sanosuke so he can do the same." Reaching inside her overcoat Megumi pulled out her small sanitized sowing kit and began to stitch up Kaoru's wrist.

Pulling the last stitch through Megumi rose to her feet and stretched her back. "It's finished" she called to the sleeping Yahiko.

"Will she be all right?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "It's up to her body to see if it can repair the damage she did. She lost a lot of blood and we don't know long she was bleeding before you found her Yahiko-kun."

All three turned to look at Kaoru's sleeping form. What had driven Kaoru to want to kill herself? Didn't she know she could have talked to them about anything? Why Kaoru? Why didn't she go to someone?

As the trio continued to look at Kaoru's sleeping body wondering if all Megumi's work would be for nothing and they would end up cremating Kaoru's body anyway, they came to one singular conclusion: This was all Kenshin's fault.

Sanosuke turned from Kaoru to regard Megumi for a minute. She had worked hard she needed to rest, but he had to know one thing before she went to sleep. "Fox Lady. Why did you gasp when you pulled back Kaoru's kimono?"

"Yeah." Yahiko rose to his feet. "Why did you gasp?"

Megumi looked upon the inquisitive faces, and wondered if she should tell them the truth. Did they really have the right to know? Was it her business telling them? She then turned and looked at Kaoru. Humph, that idiot girl! Didn't she know that they were here for her--all of them not just Kenshin? Like it or not right now they were responsible for her and both Sanosuke and Yahiko deserved the truth.

Swiveling her head back around Megumi looked at the two men, and answered as blunt she could be.

"Kaoru's pregnant."

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End Ch. 2. Created [09/03/00] Finished [12/29/00]. Yeah, I know this plot line was kind of obvious, but hey I like the obvious sometimes. Next chapter: No Need for Kenshin. As always when I end a chapter, critiques and comments are welcomed. Heck, I even welcome flames. So email me at: pmchivas@hotmail.com I also have a guestbook if you prefer. Shishou M.

Lunatics Ravings:

Che--All-purpose curse word meaning either "shit" or "damn."

Yatta--All right!

Yosh--Don't know if this is Japanese or not, but I heard in a Spielberg cartoon Invasion America, and the word meant "Good" or "Okay" in the alien tongue.

Demo--But.

Nani--What?

Tasuke--Help.

Tadaima--I'm home.

Busu--ugly

Masaka--Never or It's impossible.

Gunpowder--I got this concept when I was watching Bad Girls. When the Asian woman treated one of the girls that got whipped in the back by placing small amounts of gunpowder into the wounds to burn away infection and to help seal off the wound. This movie was a western, so I think the dates fit, if not you can blame it on my darn poetic license.