Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ I'll Be There For You - Sailor Moon ❯ The Loss of Innocence ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

I'll Be There For You

Part 5 - The Loss of Innocence

Revised July 2006

Chapter 40

Usagi woke up with a start, her beautiful blue eyes wide with

pain. A dull ache ripped its way through her insides, causing her to

gasp. She dragged several cool breaths of air into her burning lungs,

willing the pain to go away. Finally, the pain receded and she slipped

out of bed, padding her way to the bathroom.

Harsh, bright white light assaulted her eyes, burning them, and she

squeezed them shut. Walking over to the basin she splashed cold water

on her face and then looked up in the mirror.

'It was a fluke,' a very Luna-like voice whispered to her in calm,

knowing tones. 'Lots of women have pre-labor pains months before they

actually give birth. Nothing is wrong, Usagi. It's all very normal.

Just go back to bed you meatball head. You've got another big day

ahead of you tomorrow. And a test too!'

She took a deep breath and then crawled back into bed. Mamoru's arms

wrapped around her, pulling her closer to him. One hand strayed lower

to rest over her swollen belly where their child slept. Usagi sighed,

feeling completely at peace, wrapped in the warm blanket of Mamoru's

love.

Two hours later, however, she was wrenched awake again with another

driving ache. She took several deep breaths, promising herself that

she'd talk to Ami tomorrow morning before practice and run another

diagnostic…just to make sure everything was alright.

It took her a half-hour to fall back to sleep, and when she woke

again, sunlight was pouring through the window.

"AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Usagi flew from the bed and raced into the bathroom.

"I'm going to be SO LATE!!!!!!!!!"

"Calm down," Mamoru directed from the doorway, and he was laughing.

"Mamoru!! Why didn't you wake me up!!!"

"I did," he said, following her into the bathroom. His arms wrapped

around her and he placed a little kiss on her neck. "I had to stop

when you hit me with the pillow."

"I did not!" she sputtered through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"I assure you, you did," he said, leaning over and biting her

earlobe. "Relax, Usagi. The girls will be here in another twenty

minutes to pick you up for school and breakfast is already ready."

He kissed her again, his lips brushing across her neck right behind

her ear, and his hands moved protectively over her belly. The baby

kicked and he smiled. "I even took the liberty of making you your

lunch," he whispered in her ear.

"Mmm, if my mouth wasn't full of toothpaste, I'd kiss you right now, Dr. Chiba," she said, smiling at him through the mirror.

He backed away, still smiling. "No thank you. I've already brushed

my teeth this morning. I'll meet you in the kitchen," he said, walking

out of the bathroom.

Usagi smiled after him. A smile that quickly turned into a frown

when another pain made its way up through her abdomin. She bit her

lip, a hand moving protectively over her belly. Blood tasted in her

mouth and she spit it out, looking at the image in the mirror. Fear

shone back at her.

*****

"Hey Usagi, you look terrible."

"Gee, Naru, thanks for the pick-me-up," Usagi said, pushing food over

her plate.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like *that*," her friend jested good-naturedly,

sitting down beside her in the grass. "Where are all your friends

today?"

"They had to, um, go take care of something," Usagi mumbled. What

was she supposed to say? Two more monsters -the seventh attack this

month alone- had been sighted downtown and the sailor senshi -minus

Sailor Moon- had gone to take out the trash? Nope, no way, think

again.

"Oh!" Naru said. She bit her lip. "Would you like some company

then, Usagi?"

"Sure, Moll, that'll be great…if you don't mind, that is," she added

hastily.

"Oh! I don't mind at all!" the redhead relied cheerfully. "Motoki's

being a complete pest about this Economics test today. He was

complaining about it *all* night last night!" Naru rolled her eyes.

"It's like sometimes, school's *all* he can ever think about!"

"But you don't want to break up with him." It was a statement, not a

question, but Naru answered the question anyway.

"Naw, I could never do that." She blushed. "He may be a complete

moron at times," she sighed, "but at least he's *my* moron."

Usagi smiled and shook her head. "I just don't see what it is you

see in him, Naru-chan."

"Tell ya the truth, Usagi," Naru said in a loud whisper, "Neither do

I!"

They both giggled like junior high school girls again. And then the

smile dropped from Usagi's face.

"What's the matter, Usagi? Are you feeling alright?" Naru put a

concerned hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine," Usagi said with a false cheerfulness in her voice. "Just

a little stitch in my side."

"What's it like, Usagi, to be pregnant?" Naru asked with a hint of

wistfulness.

Usagi smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "It's indescribable," she

answered softly.

Naru saw the light shining in her friend's eyes and felt a tinge of

jealousy eat at her.

"Hey, Naru! Usagi! Guess what!"

"What is it now, Motoki?" Naru asked rolling her eyes-they were

having a fight after all; she had to play the part out, didn't she?

"There's been another yoman attack at the downtown trade center and

*I* hear the sailor scouts got hurt *bad*!"

Usagi paled. No, she did more then pale, she turned dead white, the

color completely fading from her.

"Usagi are you alright! Oh my gosh! Motoki, get the nurse!"

Usagi didn't stay conscious long enough to see the nurse rushing to

her side.

*******

"NO!!!"

Usagi sat up straight in the tiny bed, the cold compress falling from

her forehead, hyperventilating.

"Easy Usagi! Please, calm down, please." Ami pushed her back down

into the bed, worry and concern knotting her brow.

"Oh, Aimes," Usagi cried, panting. "Please tell me. Everyone?

They're okay, right?"

"Calm down, Usagi," Ami said, one hand holding her down against the

bed, the other brushing blond wet bangs from her forehead. She looked

up to make sure no one else was in the room and then sighed.

"Mars was hurt pretty bad but she'll be fine," she whispered quickly.

"Jedite took her back to the shrine and is there now watching over

her." She bit her lip. "Haruka and Sardonyx were both hit--" she

shook her head, at a loss for words, "Pretty badly, too," she finally

said, though the truth was they were hurt more then just 'badly'.

"And the others?" Usagi asked, her lips trembling and tears welling

into her eyes.

Tears clouded Ami's eyes as well. "Mostly scrapes and bruises," she

said hoarsely. "Makoto sprained her ankle. Mina dislocated her

shoulder." She swallowed. "Michiru has a bad bruise on the side of

her face." A tear slipped down her cheek.

Panic seized Usagi's heart. "What, Ami?" she cried. "What aren't

you telling me?"

"Euclase and--" she blinked and swallowed, "and Zoicite were both

knocked senseless," she whispered hoarsely. "Everyone was taken to the

shrine. We set up some healing wards, but I don't know if they'll be

enough."

Usagi cried out, guiltily sharing the pain of her friend- glad that

it hadn't been Mamoru. She pulled Ami down and wrapped her in her

arms. The blue-headed genius sobbed uncontrollably.

"It'll be okay, Aimes," she whispered against her head. "Shh…"

Tears fell from her own eyes. Her friends and their loves had been

hurt… "Maybe you should go to him," she suggested.

Ami pulled back and shook head. "We've a test today," she said

softly. Usagi would have protested but Ami's simple words spoke of how

close the two soldiers had become in the past month. "He would be

upset if I missed it because of him."

Chapter 41

The sharp crack of the pencil as it snapped sounded loud in the

tension-filled classroom.

Ami's blue head darted up and looked over at Usagi, a worried

expression radiating from her lovely face. She reached for one of the

four pencils lined up neatly on her desk and handed one over to her

friend.

“Eyes forward, ladies,” Hamura-sensei said warningly looking straight

at them.

Ami's concerned blue eyes snapped back to the test on her desk, but

she sneaked another worried glance at the blond pig-tailed girl sitting

beside her.

The pain began to recede from Usagi's middle and she, too, tried to

concentrate on the test in front of her.

`C'mon,' she told herself. `Please just let me get through this

test. Please. I studied so hard—`

Teeth bit back the moan that wanted desperately to escape her throat.

She closed her eyes against the pain, a tear escaping down her cheek.

`No,' she begged silently, shaking her towhead from side to side.

`It's too soon. Not now. Please, not now.' She counted the seconds

in her mind, praying for the pain to go away.

Finally, the pain ebbed and she looked up at the clock hanging over

the teacher's desk. Her tear-stained eyes caught those of the

teacher's and a look of sympathy passed between them.

It was a look Usagi had grown to despise over the last several

months. It was a look that had been directed at her all too many

times, followed by words like, 'Poor child,' or 'Poor baby.' It made

her sick.

The pain came again and this time a small whimper managed to escape

Usagi's strangled throat.

“Usagi—“ Hamura-sensei was saying, standing up from her chair.

“Usagi?” Ami asked, looking over at her friend again. Her quick eyes

picked up on the pallor of the girl's skin, the sheer sheen of sweat

that covered her face and beaded her forehead.

Usagi shook her head. Pleading. Pleading with Ami. Pleading with

the teacher. Pleading with the gods who ruled our lives. Pleading

with the baby who was fussing beneath her heart.

`Not now,' she begged silently. `Please, not now!'

The class around her quickly began to pick up on the fact that

something more exciting than their test was happening and all eyes were

focusing on the blond girl who was already the center of so much talk:

the great freak show. The only girl in the entire school who had a

baby swelling her stomach and didn't have the decency to drop out. The

only girl who—

Usagi cried out, the pain finally too much. Tears clouded her eyes

and began to stain her cheeks.

“Usagi!”

She could feel them, their power surrounding her, lending her their

strength. Usagi looked up into the loving faces of her friends.

'Not all of them,' a voice reminded her. 'Some of them were still at

the shrine…hurt…'

“Usagi?” Mina asked, clasping her hand in her own.

“It's too soon, Ami,” her hoarse voice whispered to her friend, her

eyes pleading with the other girl to do…what?

Ami bit her lip and looked at Usagi hopelessly. She looked to

Makoto. Makoto shook her head, hopeless to tell her what to do.

Another cry slipped passed Usagi's tight lips as yet another

contraction consumed her body, rocking it violently with its spasm.

Ami frowned. “Usagi! How long have your pains been coming?”

“Since…last…night,” she managed gasped out on weak breaths.

There was a sharp, shocked inhale.

“Oh, wow! Is Usagi having her baby now?!” Motoki cried over the

murmur of the other students in the classroom.

Naru slapped him over the head with the now-forgotten test.

“Oh my!” cried Hamura-sensei as she looked at Usagi, then the class,

and then back to Usagi.

“Hamura-sensei,” Ami began. “May we be excused to take Usagi to the hospital?”

Hamura-sensei looked relieved at the suggestion and nearly pushed the

three girls out the door before another contraction could make its

presence known. Makoto and Ami helped support Usagi down the hallway—

she was surprisingly weak.

“It'll be alright,” Makoto said, wincing as not only another

contraction caused the trembling girl to yelp and tighten her grip on

her two friends, but as she stepped down hard on her tender ankle.

“We'll be right here with you,” Ami repeated the promise all the

Senshi had vowed some months before, biting her lip against her own

pain radiating from her shoulder.

“No matter what,” Makoto added, ignoring the tears springing to her eyes.

"Thanks, guys," Usagi sniffed, and then she started to cry. "Someone

forgot to mention just how bad this was going to hurt," she said

tightly, choking on her sobs…

Imagine…Usagi holding back her tears…

******

"Ami! Please!" Usagi pleaded from the backseat of the taxi.

"I'm sorry, Usagi!" Ami cried, biting her lip. "There seems to be a

traffic jam!"

"Who ever heard of there being a traffic jam at this time of day!"

Makoto cried, looking nervously between Usagi, Ami and the line of cars

in front of them.

Usagi was panting again. Makoto mopped sweat from her forehead,

smiling encouragingly at her.

"I swear to the gods," Usagi groaned. "If this isn't Rini, she's not

being born! I swear I'm never doing this again!"

"Now, now," Ami said, smiling at her. "Once you have your brand new

baby in your arms I'm sure you'll be singing a different song." Usagi

glared at her.

"So help me, if these cars don't start moving soon I'm going to

moondust them all!" Usagi grounded out, breathing heavily.

Makoto giggled. "It could be worse," she said. "There could be

another-"

"Yoman!" Ami cried.

"Oops! Looks like I spoke to soon!" Makoto said following suit and

opening the car door to get out and transform.

"Stay here, Usagi," Sailor Jupiter cried back into the car.

"Don't you move!" Mercury added, bounding off after Jupiter. Mercury

looked back at her once, and then she was lost in the sea of cars.

"Alone at last."

Usagi looked up and saw a somewhat familiar face standing beside the

car. She gasped, recognition flaring as Mamoru's old girlfriend

continued to smile twistedly down at her.

"Megumi, what--"

"Grab her," the woman called out.

"Wha--?"

Two monsters reached into the car and dragged Usagi out of it. She

screamed, struggling, trying to fight them off…but Sailor Moon had

never been very strong at hand to hand combat, and a very pregnant

Usagi was even worse. Her struggles ended soon enough when one of the

monsters popped her over the head.

Megumi laughed, pinching Usagi's chin between her thumb and

forefinger.

"Revenge is mine." And she laughed, teleporting them all away

"Usagi!"

Sailor Mercury and Jupiter raced to the abandoned car…but they were

too late.

"Mercury, can you trace them?" Jupiter gulped, out of breath.

"I can try," she answered pulling out her super computer and punching

in some keys. After a moment she shook her head. "I can't find her

anywhere!" she cried.

Jupiter cursed and punched the car leaving a dent.

Mercury started to cry. "We weren't there for her," she whispered

hoarsely.

Chapter 42

The two senshi bounded up the shrine steps. They hadn't bothered

to detransform from their sailor outfits. Their minds had been too

caught up in Usagi's disappearance to even bother worrying about being

seen in their senshi garb.

They ran through the shrine, falling into Rei's room. Ami fell to

her knees sobbing. Makoto fell back against the side of the door

trying bravely to hold back her own tears.

"What's wrong?" Kunzite asked, standing up to his full height,

imperiously looking down at the two gasping women. On the futon

behind him another body struggled to sit up.

"What happened?" Minako demanded croakily.

"Sh-she's gone!" Ami gasped.

"Wha-what?" came the weak reply amongst all the gasps.

Makoto looked at Mamoru, her lip trembling, her head shaking slowly

from side to side. "She was there," she said swallowing. "We told her

to stay in the car." She shook her head, unable to continue. Nephrite

limped over to her side, pulling her into his arms, mindless to the

many bandages wrapped around his torso.

"She's gone, Mamoru," Ami whispered, looking up at him with huge

eyes. "Two monsters showed up with another woman. Before we could get

to her, though, she disappeared."

"No," he grunted, pushing up from his cot. He fell back to the cot

with a cry, the bandages around his chest and shoulder pulling tight.

"Usagi!"

"Why were you girls away from school?" Zoicite asked softly, eyes

shut, his hand holding Ami's.

The girls' faces crumbled. Ami hid her face against Zoicite's side.

Makoto's knees gave out and she crumbled to the floor, dragging

Nephrite with her.

"Why?" Rei's voice rasped from another bed. Jedite tried to hush

her, but the fiery senshi pushed him away and struggled to sit up. She

looked at first Ami and then Makoto, her eyes pools of raw pain and

dangerous fury.

"Why weren't you at school?" she asked again through gritting teeth.

"We purposely added wards to the school grounds so that no monsters

could enter within a three kilometer distance. Why did you leave?"

"We--we were on our way to--" Ami began before another sob choked her

words.

"Where?!" Mamoru demanded, turning his head to look at them.

"Usagi-chan's labor started," Ami's voice drifted out from the cloth

of Zoicite's uniform.

"Rei! Wait!" Jedite tried to pull her back but she pushed him off.

"Where are you going?"

"The fire room," she said, limping out of the room.

*******

They crowded into the small room, the healthy and less hurt

supporting the others. All eyes were focused intently upon the

beautiful priestess as she concentrated upon the scared fire leaping

and dancing before her. Not a sound broke the silence of the room.

Finally Rei started crying and whispered a small little plea,

"Please, Usagi. Tell me where you are!"

The women and men stared at the priestess, willing her to

find…something. None more intensely than Mamoru.

Rei slumped forward with a cry. Jedite was there to catch her. She

shook her head, looking up into his face, tears pooling in her fiery

eyes. "I can't find her," she choked. She looked over to where

Kunzite supported Mamoru, shaking her head. "I--I can't find her

anywhere."

Mamoru shook his head in denial. "No," he said hoarsely. "No," he

repeated with more power. "USAGI!"

********

"Mamoru," she whispered, her head shaking from side to side as

consciousness threatened to return.

"Give it up, Serenity," a cold voice said from beside her.

Usagi's eye snapped opened and shut just as quickly, a bright white

light blinding her. She moaned, the aches and pains of her body making

themselves known. She froze as memory washed over her. Her hands flew

to her belly and the tension eased from her muscles as they caressed

the huge mound there.

Carefully, she blinked her eyes, adjusting to the light quickly. She

stared at her surroundings, stopping when she came face to face with a

blond haired young woman in a dark red dress. The woman smiled at her,

a twisted look pouring out of her.

"Mamoru can't help you, my dear, sweet Serenity," Megumi said one of

her hands lifting to brush away a bang from Usagi's eyes. Her lips

pursed. "Unfortunately he had the misfortune to jump in front of one

of my pets." She titled her head. "I don't think he's in much of a

position to help anyone right now…let alone you."

Tears welled in her eyes and a cry escaped her tight throat.

"Mamoru?"

"Relax," Megumi said, smiling again. "I would never hurt my

husband." Her smile widened, seeing the shock written on the girl's

face. "You, my dear, are another matter entirely."

Usagi's hands wrapped protectively around her swollen belly and

Megumi laughed. "Oh, no," she said, venom dripping from her honeyed

words. "I wouldn't dream of hurting Endymion's child," she whispered,

feeling powerful in the presence of the trembling girl. "But the child

will need a mother…" she smiled. "And someone will have to console

Endymion when he realizes his lover is, well, dead."

***********

"Mamoru, please," Mina whispered through her tears, her hands pushing

against his chest.

"No!"

"Mamoru--"

"You must have seen something," Mamoru said harshly.

Rei shook her raven head, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I--I'm

sorry," she cried, feeling torn to pieces.

"What about you, Mamoru?" Ami asked quietly. "Do *you* feel

anything?"

The others bit their lips and looked at him, praying for--for what?

Mamoru looked at them, tears already staining his cheeks. His head

fell to his chest then and he shook it dejectedly.

"I--I haven't been able to 'sense' her for the past eight months," he

breathed out on a sigh. They all gasped.

"Usagi never mentioned--" Ami began.

"I didn't tell her," Mamoru cut her off. He smiled. "I didn't want

to worry her anymore. She's already been so upset." He growled, his

fist raised to his shrines.

"We'll find her," Makoto promised him, her own fists clenching at her

sides. "We have to."

A portal opened beside her whipping her ponytail into her face.

Setsuna stepped out, Euclase at her side, leaning on her. Behind them

Meliphane supported Sardonyx and Michiru helped Haruka. They moved

aside and allowed Tellurium, cradling a very weak Hotaru, to walk into

the room. The portal closed behind them.

"Pluto," Mina sighed, relief flooding her face.

"Do you know where she is?" Mamoru asked, his deep blue eyes pleading

with the Senshi of Time to answer yes.

Setsuna frowned, her own face close to tears.

"How can you *not* know!" Rei yelled, thrashing against Jedite.

"You're the damn Senshi of Time! You're *supposed* to know

*everything!"

"I'm sorry," Setsuna whispered through dry lips.

They looked at each other, sharing their hopelessness.

"There has to be something we can do," Haruka rasped, breathing

heavily, her head resting on Michiru's shoulder.

"Oh! You're still--" Ami began, rushing towards her.

"I'll be fine," Haruka cut her off, nodding her away.

"If we had the crystal…" Kunzite said softly.

"Only Usagi and Rini can use the Silver Crystal," Michiru said

sharply, her eyes narrowed.

"Rini," Hotaru whispered, turning her head to look at the others.

They all looked at the small girl and then looked at Setsuna. A tear

slid down her cheek as she shook her head.

"I--I can't," she whispered brokenly.

"Why the hell not!" Makoto raged before anyone else could.

Setsuna looked at them all, her friends, her sisters. And then she

looked at Mamoru. The raw pain in his face was written there like

words on a page. She shook her head and took several deep, choked

breaths.

"I'm sorry. I can't," she repeated.

"Why?" he whispered, the feeling of betrayal sounding plain in his

voice.

"I--I can not open the Gates of Time," she answered softly, a crushed

look on her face. "They--they are locked."

There were gasps as this news was shared.

"But--" Mina swallowed.

"How is that possible?" Ami asked sharing the look of confusion most

in the room were wearing.

"Who could've locked the Gates of Time?" Rei asked with anger.

"Only one person," she answered, looking straight at Mamoru. "Sailor

Pluto is the only person who could have locked me out of the Time

Gate."

Chapter 43

Usagi was moaning--her breaths came in deep heavy pants, ending

in whimpers. A hand squeezed hers as another reached up to push sweaty

bangs from her eyes. Usagi looked up at the other girl--staring into

her dead blue eyes, and unspoken question reaching out with her own.

"I hate you, you know," Megumi said, looking back at her. She didn't

smile…she didn't frown. But there was a…a sadness in her blue eyes

that gave her a…soft look.

"From the very first moment I saw you, I have hated you," she said

calmly…devoid of any emotion.

Usagi licked her dry, chapped lips. "But--why?" she asked through a

parched throat. She closed her eyes--she was so tired…so very tired--

and sore. The pain--oh gods, the pain! It never seemed to cease

now…just a continual aching in her body.

"Because he loved you," Megumi answered. "Because I loved him so

much and he loved you." She gave a pathetic little laugh, her nails

biting into Usagi's palm, drawing tiny, bloody half moon circles--Usagi

was too tired and weak to complain.

"Even in this lifetime!" Megumi snarled. Her blue eyes filled with

her hatred, spilling over and twisting her crimson/black stained lips.

She gave a small shake of her head, her bleach blond hair danced over

her shoulders--but then a small smile teased her lips as fond memories

washed over her.

"We went out for six months," she said with a wistful sigh. "I was

the only girlfriend he'd had." She smiled widely now, her eyes hooded

with satisfaction. "Every girl in our school wanted him--every girl

who'd ever seen his picture wanted him--but I had him."

As suddenly as the smile had appeared, it disappeared. "And then out

of no where, one day he's says we shouldn't see each other any more…"

She shook her head again and tears pooled in her eyes. "He broke up

with me," she said tightly, "And I didn't even know why. There was no

reason he would give me. I--I didn't understand…at least not at first."

She dropped Usagi's hand and turned to walk around the bed the

laboring girl was lying in, staring at her. Usagi tried to follow her,

but her lids felt so heavy…

"I began to have dreams," Megumi said, stopping at the other side of

the bed. "I began to remember." Her red-nailed fingers scraped

Usagi's brow as she pushed another strand of sun blond hair from her

face. "Do you know what I remembered?" Her nails trailed down Usagi's

cheek, leaving a wide red mark in their wake, and seized her chin.

Usagi licked her lips again. "Wha-what?" she gasped through her dry

mouth, swallowing hard.

"I remembered Endymion," Megumi hissed, "And *you*, in a beautiful

garden on the moon, with a beautiful full Earth high in the sky." Her

eyes narrowed as she leaned in close. "He was handing you a rose…a red

rose." She was leaning so close Usagi could feel Megumi's warm breath

against her cheek. "Do you remember that, my dear, sweet Serenity? Do

you remember that night on the moon?"

Megumi pulled back, moving away from the bed. "I left Tokyo then…I

couldn't stand to be so near to him with him wanting nothing to do with

me. I ran away really…but I couldn't run far enough to outrun my

dreams. They followed me, and I remembered more and more." She

swirled, her hair and dress whipping around behind her. "And then I

remembered my mother. My dear, sweet, loving mother," she sneered. "I

danced and laughed and sung the day she died," she said with a sick,

smug smile, walking back to the bed.

"It was one of the happiest days in my life." Her eyes feel from

Usagi to her stomach. "Six months… six long months." She walked back

to the bed, staring at Usagi. "I hate you because *you* took him away

from me. Because--" she looked back at the mound where the baby laid.

"Because he gave you what he wouldn't even share with me--in six

months," she whispered.

She gave another sad, pathetic laugh. "Six long months," she said

wistfully, "And I hoped so hard that--one day, one night…but no," she

sneered. "Never. Never more than a chaste little kiss here or

there..." Her eyes burned with renewed hatred. "Even now--a thousand

years later, he could not love me…because of *you*."

She smiled--evil oozed from the lifted corners of her lips. "But

that will change--once you are dead."

Usagi heard her words--she even listened to what the older girl had

said--but she was so tired. She felt nothing but repulsion for this

sick, pathetic woman who stood by her bedside and squeezed her hand

when the contractions came.

"Then why don't you kill me and be done with it?" she asked, too

drained to care if she should die at this point. Death would be

preferable--than at least the pain would stop--then at least she could

rest…

Megumi laughed. "Soon enough, soon enough," she said, pushing

another bang from Usagi's face. "But first you must deliver the

child." She smiled down at the weak girl. "I *will* have Endymion's

child."

Usagi paled.

"She will never have the child if you tell her that," a cold, harsh

voice rasped from the corner of the room.

Usagi bit her lip and tried to ignore the wave of panic that that

voice brought--the fear, the dread, the pain… Megumi's eyes narrowed as

she looked up.

"Go away, Mother," she said, her voice equally cold. "Your presence

is not wanted."

Queen Beryal--or the ghost she had become, laughed. "YOU think I

care what you want, daughter?"

"I think it doesn't matter," Megumi replied, without the slightest

hint of emotion--even her face had dropped its expression. The dead

queen dematerialized--but Usagi's shaking did not vanish so quickly.

"Rest now," Megumi said, pushing another sweaty stand of hair away.

"You've a long way to go before the baby arrives."

Usagi nodded. Fear clashed with fatigue--fatigue won and her eyes

drooped shut.

******

"That doesn't make any sense!" Mina cried.

"Yea," Makoto pitched in, frowning. "Why would you lock yourself out

of the Time Gate?"

"I didn't," the green-haired senshi replied. "At least not yet."

"What the hell is *that* supposed to mean!"

"Sailor Mars!" General Euclase snapped, leaning heavily on Setsuna.

"You *will* watch your tongue."

"You can't tell me what to do like I am some child!" Jedite's hands

gripped her arms--as much to hold the fiery senshi up as to hold her

back.

Shouting erupted, filling the fire room with layers of voices.

Louder and louder.

"Enough." It was a hoarse whisper.

"Enough," Mamoru repeated a little more loudly. Ami, Mina, and

Zoicite were close enough to hear him and quickly shut their mouths--

looking at him...

Mamoru's body was glowing--glowing bright and brighter--golden light.

"Enough!"

Silence followed the word that seemed to echo in the room--even

though Mamoru had barely raised his voice. All eyes flew to Mamoru and

mouths gasped with shock.

"Endymion--" Kunzite began, in a choked voice.

Mamoru looked at him--his eyes fierce, burning with a heated

intensity. The glow radiating from his body, surrounding him,

surrounded the room--shining brighter then the sacred fire.

"I will hear no more arguing," he said, each word deliberate, each

word barely above a whisper. "It is not helping her; it is not helping

Usagi. We must focus all our energies on Usagi--not on squabbling like

little children. We must find her. We must find--"

He crumbled, the light fading with his strength. A chorus of

concerned voices rang out as Mina and Kunzite helped him to the floor.

"Do you have the crystal?" Kunzite asked hopefully. "Do you know

where it is?"

Mamoru breathed deep and shook his head--his lips held in an

expressionless pause. "I don't know where it is."

"But I do."

Every head turned to Setsuna. The senshi focused on some unseen

object. Behind her a portal opened with a gust of wind. Long green

hair flew over her shoulders and whipped at her face. She looked down

at Mamoru.

"The Golden Crystal. If you will follow me, I will take you to it,"

she said, and then she turned and stepped into the portal--still

supporting General Euclase. The outer senshi followed: Haruka and

Michiru, Meliphane and Sardonyx, and Tellurium cradling Hotura.

The Inner senshi and Earth Generals looked at one another and then

looked at Mamoru. He struggled to his feet, with the help of Kunzite

and Minako. He walked to the portal and stepped through.

"Let's go, guys," Mina said, a serious note in her usually cheery

voice. The girls nodded and, two by two, the Inner senshi and Earth

Generals stepped through the portal.

*****

"How much more of this must I take," Usagi moaned, her head thrown

back against the pillow.

"Not much," Megumi said, wiping her sweat stained brow with a cool

cloth. "Not long now. You're almost fully dilated."

Usagi looked at the girl, confusion mixed with pain in her light blue

eyes. "Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked through her parched

throat.

Megumi's hand stilled. "You carry Mamoru's child," she said after a

moment. "My child."

"Wha--what are you going to do to my baby?" Usagi asked, tears of

fear and pain streaming down her cheeks.

Megumi looked at her, her cold blue eyes meeting with Usagi's emotion

stained ones. "You'll be dead," she said. "So what does it matter?"

Chapter 44

They stepped out into a world shrouded in mists--it was dark, like

night, but there were no stars in the sky--there were no stars, just

billows of mist that hung above their heads.

"Show yourself!" Setsuna called out into the mists.

"And if I chose not to?" a lyrical voice taunted back.

"Then you will not be pleased when we find you!" Kunzite replied--

anger seething through each word.

The mists parted to reveal a young man--no older than fifteen or

sixteen turns by the looks of him--standing before them. He frowned,

looking at Kunzite directly.

"Is that anyway to speak to your father?" the boy asked.

There were gasps. Mina could feel Kunzite stiffen beside her and

looked up at him.

"You are not my father anymore than you are Endymion's," he said, his

voice filling the void that surrounded them. The boy frowned.

"You forget yourself, Kunzite--"

"I forget nothing, Elios."

He seemed to think that over and then he nodded acceptance. "So be

it, then."

The mists lifted…to reveal a beautiful dream world full of birds and

songs and green fields and waterfalls with blue lagoons. Creatures of

every mythical race played with abandonment. All reveled in the joy of

freedom. Off in the distance, on the horizon, a castle of clouds could

be seen, hanging in the blue sky, a watchtower over all.

The senshi and Moon Generals gaped in awe at the wondrous world that

they now found themselves in. Mina bent over and plucked a small

orange flower that had appeared at her feet.

"This place is magnificent!" Michiru said, turning around to see all.

"Is that a--" Ami's words trailed off as a dragon of radiant gold,

green, and red colors flew past them. She mouthed a silent O.

"You know why we have come," Setsuna said, ignoring the world around

her.

Elios' eyes narrowed and he nodded--his head barely moving in the

gesture. "But then--I know more than you do now, don't I?"

The glare in her eyes made him laugh.

"Come," he said turning away. "Make haste."

His body shimmered and where Elios had once stood now pranced an

elegant pegasus, and single golden horn crowned his forehead. The

great beast shook out his wings, stretching them wide, and then beat

them downward, sending up a gust of dirt as he stretched his legs into

midair.

"Ah, Elios!" Makoto called up. "*We* can't fly!"

The beast hovered in the air above them. 'Welcome to Illusion,'

Elios' voice said to them in a calm voice--as if he was standing

amongst them. 'Welcome to the Land of Dreams.'

As he 'spoke' the senshi and generals were surrounded. Rei gave a

started yelp when she saw the dragonhead lying to her side. The rest

turned to look and were also surprised.

'I will not hurt you, Lady Mars,' the dragon 'said'. 'Glad I am of

your return.' A purring could be heard and Rei was surprised to

realize it was coming from the *dragon*!

"Enough, Surya," Jedite said, scratching the dragon beneath its large

jaw. "Surely you have missed *me* as well?" he asked giving Surya the

dragon an affectionate pat.

The ruby eyes half closed and the purring increased. 'Surrrrely.'

Jedite laughed and Rei smiled, too.

'We have all missed you,' another voice said from behind them.

"Aldebaran!"

"Antaries!"

Kunzite and Zoicite ran up to the two sphinxes, respectively.

"You've been gone a long time," a female voice pouted. Zoicite

smiled and smoothes the already smooth fur coat under one wing.

Antaries smiled and shook her sky blue mane forward before flipping it

back. She stood up and allowed Zoicite's hand to move down her back,

gliding over the silky darker sky blue fur, before skimming down the

tail.

Antaries prowled over to Ami, her lean lion's body moving in graceful

motion. "Lady Mercury," the female sphinx said, nodding her head. "It

is good to see you well."

"An--and you, Antaries," Ami replied in shock.

"Hello Lady Venus," the large, pale pink--almost lavender--sphinx

said, stopping before Mina. He sat his lion hunches on the ground, a

huge front paw rested in front of Mina, his tail lashed at his side.

"Wow! Artemis would get a kick out of you!" Mina said, looking up at

the huge 'cat'. Aldebaran tilted his head to get a better look at her

and then yawned--showing off his gleaming set of white teeth.

"Baran," Kunzite said, realizing everyone's pallor. The sphinx

snapped his mouth shut and leaned forward. In one swift movement,

Kunzite was aboard its back reaching down for Mina. She giggled

nervously but took his hand and soon she was seated in front of him.

"We could probably carry two more," Kunzite offered, looking down at

the others.

"Easily," Aldebaran added sounding bored.

The others stepped back quickly. Kunzite smiled challengingly. He

caught Sardonyx's eye and a brow raised.

"Oh, by the dark of the Moon!" cursed the Moon General before

snatching Haruka's hand. She began to protest but then he looked at

her. "Scared?" he asked, taunting--just as Kunzite had taunted him.

Her face steeled over, her shoulders stiffened. "Never."

"Good," Kunzite replied, reaching down to pull her up and seating her

before Mina. Soon Sardonyx was there, too. Kunzite turned to look at

the others and saw Zoi and Ami helping Michiru and Meliphane up onto

Antaries back. Jedite, Rei, and Setsuna were helping Euclase up.

Kunzite frowned. The Moon General should have been healed by now.

Even Sailor Uranus and General Sardonyx were doing better. And the

weak one, Sailor Saturn was at least standing now.

"Hathor, will you get over here already," Nephrite said with

exasperation.

"'Tis too crowded," came the reply.

"Now," came the stern demand.

"Did the mistress bring food?" came the hopeful question.

Nephrite looked over to Makoto. "Ah, I have some cookies," Makoto

said surprised. Nephrite raised a questioning brow. "We're usually

hungry after fighting," Makoto mumbled, blushing.

"May I have them, please?" he asked, smiling at her.

"Ah, sure," she mumbled, reaching into her 'special pocket' and

pulling the baggie with cookies in it. She tossed them to him and he

tossed them up into the air.

"Here you go, you vulture!" he cried. The cookies swung high into

the air and then disappeared. Makoto felt the air move beside her but

when she looked she didn't see anything.

"Hathor," Nephrite growled.

The air shimmered and where before there was nothing, now there was a

large griffin picking at the baggie with its beak. The creature looked

up at Makoto. It tossed her the bag.

"Open."

Makoto stared in shock, having caught the baggie tossed to her by

reflexes.

"Hathor!"

"And what if I don't?" Makoto asked, a cocky smile on her lips. The

creature screeched in outrage. It stood up and flapped its wings

angrily.

"I'm hungry!" it screeched.

"Nephrite, control that creature!" Kunzite yelled at him.

Nephrite huffed. "If you'll recall," he said becoming very annoyed

with the animal in question, "She was still a baby when we--

disappeared."

"You're hungry?" Makoto asked as the creature screeched like a

spoiled child. "Then sit down and shut up."

The creature did stop its screeching and looked at her. "Sit,"

Makoto repeated nodding to the ground. Hathor titled her head, but

then she sat. "Good," Makoto said, pulling a cookie out of the bag,

she tossed up to the griffin. The creature gobbled it up.

"Now, I believe we are going to get on your back and you are going to

take us were we need to go." The creature tilted her head in the other

direction.

"Will I get more food?" Hathor asked plaintively.

"I believe that can be arranged." The creature nodded and Nephrite,

Makoto, Tellurium, and Hotaru climbed upon its back.

"What about Mamoru?" Rei asked, looking down at the only person still

standing.

Even as she spoke a black stallion came galloping up into the center

of their 'circle'. The horse reared, its hoofs pounding the air before

returning to stomp the ground underneath. Mamoru took a step back.

"I've never ridden a horse before," he said, holding an arm up.

"Midnight has never thrown you before, Endymion," Elios said,

stepping up beside the horse. He threw his head and the black mimicked

the gesture. "Come," said the pegasus. "We have wasted much time.

The princess needs your help. We must make haste."

That settled the matter. Mamoru was seated upon the black stallion

in no time. He looked natural--like he had been born upon the huge

horse's back…or the two had ridden together their entire life--which

was closer to the truth.

******

Chapter 45

Pegasus's hoofs clopped the green grass with impatience.

"Come," Elios said, spreading his wings once more. "We go now." And

with that, the milky white horse took to wing. The mythical creatures

with their passengers shifted, and then took to flight also. Mamoru

watched them all enter the airy realm and then dug his heels into

Midnight's side. The stallion reared and then galloped up--on an airy

road through the clouds.

They made easy passage to the castle in the sky--it had taken them

longer to mount their beasts than to travel to their destination. The

castle shimmered with iridescent light. Sunlight reflected off the

shiny stone. The creatures touched soft stone and landed with grace.

Pegasus, first to land, disappeared in a puff of white smoke, melting

away to reveal Elios in his white and blue cape, waiting for them.

Aldebaran and Antaries, the two sphinxes, vanished with a goodbye bump

to Kunzite and Zoicite. Surya purred lovingly as both Jedite and Rei

scratched her eye ridge and chin…but she too, left. Hathor was the

only creature who refused to leave…until, that is, Makoto gave the

griffin the remaining cookies.

"Follow me," Elios said, twirling and striding down a corridor.

"Where are we?" Mamoru asked, stepping ahead of the other.

"This is my home--The Palace of Dreams," Elios said. He stopped

suddenly. "It is the ruling court in Illusion." He opened a golden

gate and led them into a beautiful garden. Roses brimmed every side of

the walkway in every color ever known to man.

"Roses were the crest of the royal house of Earth," Elios said as he

continued down the walkway. "They were especially loved by the Queen."

He stopped. "She passed that love onto her first born, the crowned

prince of the Earth Kingdom." He looked at Mamoru and then continued

forward.

"When the Moon Kingdom fell," Elios continued, "Earth also fell. The

Queen took ill and refused to tend her gardens. As a result, most of

the Kingdom fell to ruins." They came to a small circular section of

the garden. At its center was a rose bush with a single bloom on it:

the bloom was solid gold.

"What remains of the Earth Kingdom survives only here, in Illusion."

Elios looked at Mamoru again. "I wouldn't if I were you." He turned

to look at Sailor Venus who was reaching out to touch the beautiful

bloom.

Mina snatched her hand back and looked at him.

"I have knowledge of only three persons who may touch that rose and

live," he said, turning to the rose in question. The others circled

around the golden flower, held in fascination.

"Who?" Ami asked, held in equal transfixdation, her mind nonetheless

questioning.

A sad smile tugged his lips. "One who once was, yet always is. One

who once was and is again. And one who will be yet has been," he

riddled for them.

They were quiet for a moment, his words digesting in their minds--and

then Haruka broke the spell.

"What the hell does that mean?" she burst, startling Michiru. "Sorry,"

she mumbled to the aqua-haired woman supporting her.

The air in the small section began to tremble. A small sphere of light

began to glow beside Elios--flame red darkening to ocean blue,

richening to emerald green, brightening to sunny yellow and then…the

sphere flashed a bright white light. It grew in size, larger and

larger, until the shape of a woman could be seen within its space.

The light died away to reveal a beautiful woman. Her ink black hair,

darker then the night sky, fell in waves down her back. Brilliant

green eyes--not jade or emerald, but more like malachite--flashed with

wisdom and compassion. Her crimson lips were slightly parted in the

shyest smile--red rose petals against her honeyed skin. The royal blue

dress that clung to her well-figured body formed a miniature lake at

her feet.

Nor was this the end of the woman's appearance. A finely detailed

golden chain hung at her waist in little golden inter-locking squares.

Each square displayed a different tiny crystal or gem stone. It looked

like a golden rainbow against a blue sky. Upon her regal head rested a

small golden circlet, which raised in triangular fashion in the front.

On this was displayed the symbol of Earth--a blue and green circle.

Her arrival took no longer than a minute--yet she remained still for

a moment longer, held transfixed by the person standing before her, her

throat too tight for speech.

"Hello, Endymion," the woman whispered.

The four Earth Generals fell to their knees--beside the beautiful

woman, Elios also knelt. "My lady--" he began, looking up at her.

She raised a small hand--silencing his flow of words--never once

tearing her eyes from the young man before her. Her eyes ate in his

form, searching over every small detail. She moved closer to him--

gliding over the stone. The outstretched hand reached forward, and,

gently, she cupped Mamoru's cheek. Tears shimmered in her fertile

eyes.

"My son," she choked. Mamoru's own eyes glistened with moisture and

surprise. She smiled and reached past him, plucking the golden rose

from its bush. In her hand the stem melted away, leaving only the

golden bloom. The bloom rose in her hand and began to spin, around and

around until it was a golden blur. It slowed and the golden crystal

lowered into the hand she held up.

"Of all my children," the Queen of Earth said softly, "Only to my son

will I ever pass these powers to. Use its power well," she cautioned.

"Know your own heart…and never be afraid to follow it."

She held the crystal up to him and he, in turn, held his hand out.

She smiled, and the crystal passed from her hand to his. The golden

glow that had first appeared in the fire room now returned to engulf

Mamoru in its light.

"Know that I am here for you always--" the Earth Queen said softly on

the small breeze that had begun to pick up--"in you dreams you will

always be able to find me."

She stepped back--away from him--her figure beginning to fade.

"Mother!" Mamoru cried stumbling forward like a small child being

torn away from its parent.

"Save her," the wind carried to him before the Earth Queen vanished

completely.

No one knew what to say--they were too stunned.

******

Usagi groaned long and hard and then fell back into the bed. She

panted, sobbing on each breath.

"The babe comes," an old wizened woman said gruffly, looking up at

her 'queen' and the struggling young mother.

"Good," Megumi replied, looking back at the girl on the bed. Usagi

had already been in labor for nearly eighteen hours and Megumi was

getting tired of caring for the girl. She wanted the baby. "How much

longer?" she questioned the old woman.

"Not long now," the old woman replied. "Not long now."

Megumi smiled with anticipation. "Everything is in readiness?" she

asked, her eyes narrowing over the woman. The woman nodded. Megumi's

smile widened. "Good, good," she said to herself.

She turned back to the bed and ran her nails down one of Usagi's

cheeks. "It looks as if we are going to have a baby," she said,

laughing cruelly.

Chapter 46

"Do you know how to use the crystal?"

Mamoru looked over to where Elios was now standing, a blank

expression on his face.

"Emotion is the key," the young man said, walking towards him. "As

like any other crystal." He stopped, standing before Mamoru.

Mamoru looked down at the crystal in his hand. It seemed…alive--

pulsing--radiating with life. It wasn't orange or yellow like citrine

or carnelian, but actual gold--almost twenty-four carats in quality--

but it was also transparent--clear like quartz. Flawless. It was

smooth--a sphere with many facets--each tiny corner came to a sharp

point, sharper than a rose's thorn. It was at once cool and warm, fire

and ice.

"Start with something simple," Elios suggested. He pointed to the

group of senshi and generals watching. "Heal them."

Mamoru looked up with surprise. He had forgotten the others'

presence with his mother's visit and the golden crystal. He noticed

that they were all still suffering from their earlier bruises. He

frowned, knowing from experience that senshi healed faster than normal

humans, and he had worked with the generals long enough now to know

that the same held true for them as well.

"How," he asked, looking from the group to Elios. "I don't know--"

"Yes you do!" Elios snapped angrily. He threw up his hands in

exasperation. "Spend an entire lifetime teaching the boy tricks--give

him a few years off and he forgets everything!"

Elios' eyes narrowed, lifting a hand he touched a forefinger to

Mamoru's forehead. There was a flash of light--and then Mamoru

staggered back, his eyes wide with shock. They rushed to grab him but

he held them off. He swallowed hard and looked at Elios, his eyes

burning with intensity.

"Do you remember *now*, Prince Endymion of the Earth Kingdom?" Elios

asked with a smirk.

Mamoru stood up straight, his shoulders back, head held high. He

looked at his friends and then down at the crystal in his hands. His

azure blue eyes closed slowly in concentration. The crystal began to

glow.

There were startled gasps and murmurs from the group. The light grew

brighter, filling the entire area of the garden. When the light slowly

faded away the senshi and generals stood, torn between looking at

themselves and looking at Mamoru.

Mamoru collapsed. They rushed to catch him.

"You must learn to harness the power of the Golden Crystal," Elios

said, standing back to allow the others to fawn over him. "It is not a

toy--but a dangerous tool. It is as powerful as the Silver Crystal--

and as deadly."

"Usagi--" Mamoru groaned, trying to sit up. Worried faces looked

down on him.

"Now that you have joined with the Golden Crystal," Nephrite said.

"Yes," Zoicite jumped in. "We should be able to find the princess--"

"No."

Everyone looked at the boy who ruled this realm.

"He has no control over the crystal," Elios said--and before their

eyes he seemed to age, older and older, until he was perhaps fortyish.

"If you were to place the two crystals together when they are so ill

controlled--" he shook his head. "I am sorry but I cannot allow that."

"I didn't know we were asking." Haruka crossed her arms under her

chest. Beside her Sardonyx was cracking his knuckles.

"We came here to find this crystal," Rei said sharply, standing to

her full height--which was still taller than Elios, no matter how old

he looked. "So we could find Usagi."

"And now you have found it," Elios replied evenly. "But the crystal

will not leave this realm."

Jedite looked around him and then back to Elios. "Nine to one, old

man, says it does."

"No." Mamoru stood up. "There will be no fighting." He looked

around at the world around them. "This is the last remnants of my

Kingdom--I will not see it destroyed by war as the Moon Kingdom was--"

he turned to Elios-- "But unless we find Usagi and bring her back home

safely, this world, too, will cease to exist."

Elios and Mamoru stood locked in silent exchange.

"The power of the Crystal could kill you," Elios said softly.

"I have died before," Mamoru said, equal in volume. "It is a chance

I am willing to take."

Elios stared at the young man; the warring emotions that tormented

his mind were visible in those stormy eyes that looked into Mamoru's.

"Then may the gods that rule our lives watch over you," he said.

"Your princess awaits you. Good luck, my brother."

There was a flash of light--bright and blinding--the world tilted,

unbalancing the senshi and generals, knocking them into one another--

they fell to the ground in a large heap.

When they managed to untangle themselves, they were in the fire room

back at the shrine.

"Was it all an illusion?" Hotaru asked, accepting Tellurium's help

to her feet.

"What is reality," Mamoru asked, "And what is Illusion?"

In his open hand the Golden Crystal radiated.

Chapter 47

"Push, girlie," the old woman rasped. "Push!"

"I--oh m' god! -- am pushing!" Usagi's body doubled over, straining-

-and then fell back into the bed, heaving, sobbing.

"Again!"

Again Usagi pushed forward--willing the baby in her womb to get out.

She groaned with effort.

'You're hurting me.'

'I'm sorry, but it's not much fun on my side, either!'

'Is that your wish--to hurt me?'

'I am hurting too!'

"One more good push!"

'Please--' Usagi begged. 'Please--'

She felt the searing pain--something tearing, ripping, her body being

torn in two--and then emptiness. Someone pushed on her stomach and the

emptiness increased. And suddenly--- the long ordeal was over.

Her body trembled violently, a chill sent in against the clammy,

sweat stained skin.

The old woman rushed away and then returned to talk to Megumi. A

delirious Usagi tugged on the woman's sleeve.

"My--my baby?" she asked breathlessly.

Megumi turned to her, the other woman left. Her lips made a tight

line as she stared down at the weak, pathetic creature on the bed.

"The child is dead," she said without any hint of emotion.

"NO!!!!!!!!!"

**********

The scream ricocheted through the universe-- worlds light years away

from our universe rocked with pain and anguish-- made strong not only

by the power of the Silver Crystal, but by the power of the woman's

flood of emotions.

Everyone, everything, felt her grief, felt her pain and heartache.

It was the day every being stood quiet and sad and wondering why--

before going back to their individual lives and worries.

For nine warriors in one small room, in one small shrine, on one

small world, in one small solar system in the infinite universe--it was

devastating, sending them to their hands and knees, weak and sick with

grief and pain.

The sacred fire hiss and spat, roaring to unnatural life. At its

center was the face of the girl they were looking for.

Their hearts and stomachs lurched.

"Usagi--"

Teary eyes looked into the flames.

Rei looked stunned, dazed, shaking her head slowly from side to side

as one in a trance. "We have failed her," she said hoarsely, her tears

in her voice.

"No--" Mina cried, blinking back her own tears. "I won't believe

that, I wont!"

"Nor will I," Setsuna said, struggling to stand.

"She can't be gone," Makoto whispered.

"The messiah," Haruka hissed.

"The princess," Michiru murmured.

"This can't be true," Ami said standing up. "This can't be. Mamoru,

surely--"

But Mamoru was too stunned to move, to say anything. As hard as that

little display had hit all of the others, it had attacked him. The

power of the Golden Crystal reacting to his soul mate's grief had

ripped through him, tearing his insides to little shreds.

They helped him up, carried him to one of the cots in Rei's room.

Or, rather his generals did. Through it all the generals had remained

silent, dealing with their pain and anguish and fear for the girl in

their own way. Now they had something to do and they jumped on the

chance to do rather than think.

The pain, the nausea, the overall tidal wave of emotion began to

recede and Mamoru slowly began to regain his wits. Painstakingly he

sat up in bed.

"We have to go to her," he scraped out of his tight throat.

"Is she--"

Mamoru shot arrows at Mina. "She's still alive," he answered. "But

we've lost time. We've got to hurry."

'Hold on, Usagi,' he urged her silently. 'We're coming! We'll find

you! I promise!'

*******

They had left her alone. No one entered the room. No one brought

her food or water. No one stopped in to see how she was doing. No one

cared.

She flipped the tear stained pillow over and allowed the fabric to

soak up more tears.

'Oh, Mamoru,' she thought, her heart wrenching. 'Oh, Mamoru, she's

dead. Our beautiful baby is dead.' But new tears choked off her

thoughts.

They had brought the dead child in moments after Megumi had told her.

The dead thing was swabbed in a dull pink blanket. It had been cleaned off, she was told. Born dead. Died in the womb, the old woman

said.

It was so tiny, Usagi had thought. So very, very tiny. A girl.

They would have had a little girl, she thought chokingly.

The old woman had asked if she wanted to hold the…thing. But Usagi

couldn't…

The woman had turned to leave and was at the door when Usagi called

her back. "What color are her eyes?" she had asked--she had had to

know.

"Blue," the old woman replied.

Usagi bit her lip and nodded, choking on her tears. 'Not Chibi-Usa.

Not Rini,' was all she could think. And then the dam had been broken

and her tears fell freely.

She didn't care. She didn't care. And if she kept repeating that

over and over to herself enough times, maybe it would be true…

Chapter 48

"Sailor Mercury," Mamoru said, sitting up in the bed, his legs

swung along side the bed. Out of all of them, he was the only one in

street clothes. He stood up and walked over to where Ami was standing.

"Take the Golden Crystal," he said, holding it out to her, "And see

if you can use its power to enhance your computer's scanners."

She nodded and turned to go, but a hand on her arm held her back.

She looked at him with a small, puzzled frown.

"See if you can find any trace of the Silver Crystal."

"Wh--"

"If--" he took a deep breath and tried again. "If Usagi has been

hurt then her life signs maybe too weak even for the Golden Crystal to

detect." A pained look slashed her angelic face. She bit her lip--a

tear dared to run down her cheek. Zoicite came up behind her, holding

her shoulders.

"Zoicite, go with her and help her with anything she needs," Mamoru

said, turning away to look back at the others. Their faces were

covered with pained expressions. He took a deep breath.

"Mars, Jedite--try to do another fire reading." Both warriors stood

to attention. "Link your powers. You should be able to extend your

psychic abilities that way." They both smiled and nodded, and then

took off to the fire room.

"Venus, Kunzite," he said, turning to the two. "Find Luna and

Artemis. Check the command center to see if there's anything in the

archives that can help us find Usagi and bring her home."

They both nodded and took off. Sailor Pluto spoke up before Mamoru

could continue.

"I will take the Outers and the Moon Generals and see if we can

discover anything new," she said, holding her staff up in the air.

Mamoru nodded at her, accepting her eagerness to help. A portal opened and the Outer senshi and the Moon Generals disappeared within its vortex. Mamoru turned to look at Makoto and Nephrite, the only two people left in the room.

"Makoto," he said with a small, apologetic smile. "Do you think you could whip us up something quick and easy?" he asked, looking at her with a pleading look written all over his face.

Makoto sweatdropped. "Is that *all* I'm good for to you people?" she rumbled even as she started off to the shrine kitchen. Nephrite grinned after her receding form.

"She couldn't be happier," he said, turning back to Mamoru, the smile still on his lips.

Mamoru grimaced and fell back onto the bed, his head in his hands.

"I feel torn," he grounded out.

"You look like shit," Nephrite offered jovially. Mamoru shot him a dirty look. He placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. "Go out and take a walk or something," he told Mamoru. "Relieve some stress. We'll find her, don't worry."

Mamoru shook his head wearily. "I can't leave. I need to be here when they come back. I need to know what's happening."

Nephrite frowned. "You're no good to her or us if you're too stressed out to think clearly." Mamoru sighed. "Go, take a walk."

As an afterthought, Nephrite pulled something from his pocket and handed it to him. "Here," he said, pushing the black thing into Mamoru's hands. "If we find something out, we'll call you."

Mamoru looked at the phone and then at Nephrite and then back at the phone. "All right," he sighed. "Perhaps a walk will do me some good."

******

He walked the streets of Tokyo like a man possessed by his thoughts, which he was. He was torn--torn between wanting to tear ever building in the entire city down with his bare hands--and wanting to jump off the highest tower. Neither was an option.

As if by route, he found himself in the park--the park that held so many memories for him. Memories not just of Usagi, but of Rini too. And then, then he knew. *Knew* deep down inside that, somehow, they would find her. *Somehow* they would bring her back.

The future depended on it, on their finding her, on her revival of it…

Mamoru leaned back against the sturdy trunk of *their* tree. How many times had they come here? He wondered, pressing his hand into the hard bark of the tree. It cut into his palm, but he didn't notice the pain. How many times had they sat here and looked out over the waters and watched the sun set and…

Two days ago. Just two short days ago, he and Usagi had sat beneath this tree, laughing over impossible baby names. Just two short--

Aurgh! His fist slammed back into the tree. The tree shook, leaves falling down around him.

"I will find you, Usagi," he promised.

******

It was dark when Mamoru trotted up the shrine steps. There was a dread closing around his heart: a fear that hissed in his ear.

'You lost her--you will never find her--she is dead--you will never see her again--you have failed her--you were never there for her--'

He pushed the thoughts aside and stiffened when he saw the Inners and his Generals in Rei's room talking--arguing was more like it. The door slid open and he stood there. Just stood there watching them. It was the Earth Generals who noticed him first.

"Oh, Mamoru," Luna sighed, jumping into his arms. She sobbed against his shirt. "We just have to find her! I should have never let her out of my sight! I knew I shouldn't have gone--"

"It's okay, Luna," Mamoru said, awkwardly, stroking her head and neck. "We'll find her. I promise."

They were looking at him, he knew. The girls weren't used to seeing him act--affectionate, he knew. Not even towards Usagi, even though they all knew he loved her. It just--wasn't Mamoru's style to act emotional. But then, Mamoru wasn't just Mamoru then.

He looked up at them, continuing to stroke Luna. "What have you found?"

"She is definitely still alive," Rei said before anyone else could say anything.

"There is a small moon in the asteroid belt," Ami spoke up.

"A moon?"

"It is smaller than our moon," Zoicite added.

"But too circular in shape to be just another asteroid," Ami finished.

"We believe that is where she is."

Mamoru studied them both. "You are not sure."

Ami bit her lip and shook her head. He turned to Mina and Artemis. "And what does Central have to tell us?"

"Not much, I'm afraid," Mina replied.

"It would be hard to try and teleport without knowing the destination," Artemis said.

"We've done it before, though," Makoto said biting down hard on a carrot stick and munching.

"If we just knew for sure," Ami said.

"What about you?" Mamoru asked, looking at Rei and Jedite. "Did you see anything other than that she was alive?"

Rei flushed. "Just--just a lot of pain and sadness," she said, looking sorrowful. "But--" she said swallowing. "But we could tell she wasn't *here*," she said, looking at Jedite.

He nodded. "The princess is not on Earth," he agreed.

"What makes you think she's on this--moon?" Mamoru asked, turning back to Ami and Zoicite.

"There's a strong energy radiating from it," Ami said, opening her computer and typing a few keys. A hologram of a small sphere appeared for all to see.

Nephrite gasped. "I don't believe it," he said, his eyes wide with shock. He looked at the other three generals. "Kunz, don't you recognize it?" he asked.

Kunzite frowned. "It looks familiar," he said. "But I don't know why--"

Jedite nodded. Zoicite looked puzzled too. "That's what I thought," Zoicite added. "But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why."

"Nemesis."

They turned to look at Mamoru. The girls gasped. A flare of recognition flashed in the generals' eyes.

"But the witch was trapped on Earth!" Jedite argued. "Surely if her own planet still existed--"

"She wanted *Earth*," Mamoru said shaking his head. "Besides, I doubt she even knew the moon survived the battle."

"Did it survive?" They looked at Nephrite. "Is it still able to support life?"

Ami typed a few keys and numerals and symbols flew across the computer screen. "It *does* have a weak atmosphere," she said, stilly crunching numbers.

"That's where she is," a voice from behind said.

They turned to see Setsuna and the others.

"We agree," Setsuna continued, walking into the room. "It seems as though Queen Beryl's world has decide to reawaken."

"We must go there at once," Mina said, standing up and thrusting a hand into the air. The others followed suit, and they all transformed.

The Earth Generals looked at Mamoru and nodded, transforming out of their street clothes, too. The Moon Generals didn't want to be left out, either, and quickly called upon their transformations until the only one who remained standing in street clothes was Mamoru.

They stood looking at him, his hand fisted around the golden crystal he held to his chest. With a flash of golden light, Mamoru disappeared to be replaced with Prince Endymion of the Earth Kingdom.

"Let's retrieve our princess," he said.

Chapter 49

They stood in a large circle, hands clasped. The girls powered their planetary teleport while the guys all concentrated on focusing their power, supporting the female soldiers. The small room filled with blinding energy--a chaotic volume of rainbow light. In a flash, the room was empty…the only light, that of the ever-burning fire flickering in the dark of a moonless night…

Black/white. A moment of non-consciousness that lasted forever. The world they knew disappeared and was replaced with that of another. They stood still, pausing, recovering from the teleport…and then they broke apart to look around …and gasped.

"This--this looks like--" Mina began, but the words refused to come.

They all shared her confusion, for the world they found themselves in seemed strangely familiar…and yet unlike anything they had ever known before. It was so much like Earth…and yet it was nothing like their world. The colors were--distorted. Faded, somehow. And yet there *was* color.

The grass beneath their boots and heels *was* green. The soil was dark as dirt is wont to be. Off in the distance there were mountains--brown and green with snow capped peaks. There was an atmosphere--at least none of them were having problems breathing…

Mercury already had her visor down, scanning their surroundings, even as Zoicite was punching keys into the computer.

"There!" she cried, pointing towards the mountains. Zoicite nodded.

"The Silver Crystal *and* Usagi," he said snapping the computer shut. "Approximately 50 kilos in that direction."

They began walking--at a fast pace--without saying another word. An urgency pumping through their veins with every heartbeat, each step they took.

'Hold on, Usagi. We're coming!'

******

"Mistress," the old woman rasped in her throaty voice.

"What is it?" Megumi asked, turning away from the tiny bed.

"We have visitors."

Megumi's eyes widened with surprise. 'Could it be true?' she asked herself silently, strong, steady steps taking her from the tiny room. 'Could someone have come to Nemesis, come to her world, without her knowing of it first?'

She walked into the command room, heading straight for the main computer. A hundred centuries ago this room had been bustling with life--at least ten people manning stations at any given time. Now the room was empty, save for her self and the old nurse. A hundred centuries ago her father, the ruler of Nemesis had sat in the command chair behind her and given out orders. Now the chair sat covered in dust. The room laid covered in dust. Megumi ignored it all.

"Endymion," she whispered brokenly, falling into the chair as she watched the main screen before her light up with their 'visitors'. Her eyes ate the sight of the dark-haired prince, her love, and ignored the sight of the other sixteen warriors.

The old nurse watched her mistress, shuffling on her old feet nervously. "Mistress," she said after another moment spent in silence. "What should we do?"

"Nothing," Megumi replied, not tearing her eyes from the screen before her. Her fingers tapped a few keys and the picture focused, enlarged, until only Endymion could be seen. "Endymion," she whispered again, tears falling from her china blue eyes, racing down her cheeks before falling to the dusty floor at her feet.

******

Usagi turned over in bed, holding her empty stomach to herself. She choked on her tears. She was too weak to move. She was too shocked to move. She was too--overwhelmed.

Her crystalline blue eyes stared out, dully, unseeingly at an empty space in front of her, blinking only ever so often. The pain had begun to numb her insides. Instead of a huge crushing, engulfment of pain, she now just felt--hallow. An emptiness.

"Mamoru," she managed to whisper, rasped through a tight and dry throat. New tears pooled her eyes as she curled up into a tighter ball and began to rock.

*******

He stopped suddenly.

They all turned around to look at him, to ask him why they stopped. Euclase and Nephrite were at his side first.

He was forced to his knees, struggling not to be overwhelmed by the pain…the helplessness…the heartache. The strain was plain on his face. He squeezed Nephrite's hand, his teeth gritting. A groan escaped his lips. Finally, the wave of emotion ebbed and he began to breathe again.

They circled around him, curious, fearing. No one spoke, too afraid to voice their feelings…their nightmares…their fears. After another moment, he was able to look up at them. Uncontrollable tears sprung to the senshi's eyes, the pain, the helplessness, the pure heartache in his eyes searing through their breast.

Zoicite caught Ami as her knees gave out and she began to slide to the ground. Michiru's hands masked her faced, cupping back the shallow breaths she forced into her lungs. Hotaru hid her head in Tellurium's side. Haruka's and Makoto's fists clenched and unclenched, a lost look deadened their faces as tears streamed unchecked from their fierce, determined eyes.

"We failed her," Rei said emotionlessly. Her lower lip trembled--that was all the movement the passionate senshi displayed. A worried Jedite pulled her protectively into his arms. She didn't respond.

"We weren't there for her," Mina choked. "It's--it's *our* fault!"

"She's alive," he whispered hoarsely, breathing more steadily now, but the tears fell freely from his own blue eyes as they stared up into hers.

Her own blue eyes widened, a flare of hope rekindled, only to widen more with shock as what was left unsaid sunk in. She crumbled to her knees before Kunzite could catch her. She began to hyperventilate. Her stomach began to roll as she leaned forward, her sun-brightened blond hair falling forward to hide her pain.

"Oh gods!" she moaned. "It's our fault!"

Kunzite looked up at him, pleaded with him. He didn't answer her. He didn't know what to say. After another moment he pushed up. "We have to find her," he said, walking stiffly away from them.

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