Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Of Demons and Love ❯ Questions ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Of Demons and Love
Author: Quintyss

A little mush.

Chapter 5 (T)
Questions

Usagi came to consciousness slowly and became acutely aware that the room had become uncomfortably cold. Chilled to the bone, she sat up stiffly. The sacred fire had been reduced to weakly glowing embers. She wondered if she had fallen asleep and dreamt everything, but the lump on her temple told her otherwise. She rubbed the sore spot gingerly and winced. To make sure she hadn't been dreaming, she reached into her subspace pocket for the mysterious box her mother had handed her. It was there.

Usagi stood slowly, then made her way to the main washroom where she took some opened aspirin, brushed her teeth, and cleaned her face. She pulled a futon and quilt down from the closet inside the changing room Ojiisan had mentioned, then carried them into Rei's room.

Usagi noticed, then, that the rain had finally stopped and the night air temperature had cooled to the low 50°s. Rei's window was partially opened and her cotton curtains billowed gently in the light breeze. A large waxing harvest moon winked brightly through breaks in slowly moving gray clouds, casting shadows into the room. Usagi shivered... it was *Artemis'* crescent moon. She shut the window quickly, then stripped her clothes off and put on the gown Rei had set out for her. It had certainly been a long day! She couldn't wait to crawl into a nice warm bed to sleep!

Usagi glanced at the luminescent 2:34 displayed on the clock radio and gasped. Rei had been unattended for over four hours now. She turned on the small desk lamp and crept over to her friend's bedside. Rei had kicked the quilt off of the bed in her restlessness and was goosebumpy cold in the skimpy black sports bra and bike shorts she had worked out in a day ago. Her Senshi's lips looked parched and cracked. "I am sooo sorry, Rei-chan. Besides freezing, I bet you are super hungry and thirsty!"

Usagi picked up Rei's rumpled quilt dampened with earlier sweat, then noticed the whole bed was in the same condition. As Usagi pulled the soiled futon away from the wall, Rei's eyelids fluttered. The Miko moaned piteously while Usagi took a moment to catch her breath before putting the futon she had just gotten from the cupboard in its place.

"Rei-chan... wake up, love," Usagi entreated in a slightly raised voice.

Rei's world lurched. 'So cold... ' she thought to herself, 'I must be dying... ' She willed her heavy eyelids open and hazily beheld the delicate gossamer form of an angel with an achingly beautiful face hovering above her. 'I've failed my Hime... ' she concluded morosely. She blinked determinedly. 'No... I won't give up!' With a mighty internal bellow, she tried to back away from the apparition of death but found she was hypnotically trapped as the angel began to summon her in a faraway voice. The sweet sound slowly became focused and the image metamorphosed in the dim moonlight. The angelic vision now wore a lavender gown that looked suspiciously like her own. It was Usagi in all her firm glory. Rei's breath caught.

"Usagi-chan?" Rei croaked.

"Yeah, do you feel any better?" Usagi asked earnestly.

"Well, let me see... I think a truck ran over my empty guts, a sledgehammer is trying to pound my brains into a pulp, and the Sahara Desert is forming on my tongue. I feel great," Rei answered weakly.

Usagi giggled. "Rei-chan, I'm going to roll you onto a clean, dry futon, okay?" she said as she carefully rolled Rei over. She laid the fresh, clean quilt on top of the shivering girl. "Listen, Rei-chan," Usagi began soberly, "you are dehydrated and haven't eaten in a day and a half. I need to get some liquids into you right away and you need to keep it down. If you can't, we are heading for the hospital. Do you understand?"

"Stop fussing over me!" Rei said crossly. "I threw up all the pills and alcohol hours ago and I have had water since. I'm not as bad off as you think. Starving and cold, for sure, though!"

Usagi bit her lip. "Do you think you can handle nice warm soup with rice crackers?"

Rei hesitated. She could probably eat a horse right now. "It sounds good, Usa-chan. What time is it?"

"Ummm... almost 3 am." Usagi replied and asked gently, "Why don't we start with some water first and aspirin for your headache? You could do with some pajamas, too."

Rei mulled it over. "I would love a glass of water and clean clothes. No painkillers, though, please."

Usagi smiled and found a heavier gown than her own for Rei. "How is this?" Usagi asked. The fire senshi nodded gratefully and Usagi tossed it to her. "I'll be right back with water." She smiled and went to refill the empty water cup she had left on Rei's desktop. When she returned, Rei was sitting cross-legged on the dry futon with the quilt wrapped snugly around herself.

Rei turned her head slightly towards her open door at the sound of Usagi's return and made grabby fingers for the water glass. It was then that she noticed the lamp-lit string of cranes that hung above her desk. She was impressed and touched. She smiled faintly. "I love the senbazuru... that was really thoughtful. Did you make them for me, Usa-chan?"

Usagi grinned sheepishly. "I wish I could take credit for the idea, but I can't. It was Ami's idea. We each made one, though, 'cause we love you. Everybody hopes you recover from the flu real soon." Usagi winked at her wayward friend.

"I'll have to thank everyone, then," Rei remarked dryly. "You mentioned soup and crackers?"

Usagi kissed Rei's cheek once and responded brightly, "I did indeed! I'll go get everything ready... don't go anywhere!"

Usagi found Rei's yukata and padded out of the room. She tiptoed past Ojiisan's room hoping she wouldn't bump into something and wake him up, then breezed cheerily into the kitchen as the medicine she took earlier kicked in.

Usagi put a kettle of water on the stove to heat, then while she waited for the water to boil, she discovered where Grandpa's tea tray was and stocked it with two small 'everyday' teacups and two unmatched teapots. To soothe Rei's tender stomach, she shaved a small sliver of ginger-root into the mesh reservoir of one of the teapots, then tossed a teaspoon of fresh peppermint tea leaves into it. Into the other pot's filter, she put a teaspoon of herbs.

When steam rose from the kettle, Usagi turned the heat off. She poured the liquid into both teapots and let the teas steep for a few minutes. Meanwhile, she nuked a bowl full of Mako's chicken soup and located a package of bland rice crackers. Rei needed nourishment so badly. She had missed four meals to her count. Usagi was seriously worried about her friend's condition and hoped with all her heart that what she was preparing for her would help.

Usagi set the bowl of hot chicken soup on the tray, a spoon, and the package of crackers. That done, she pulled the filters from the teapots and disposed of their contents. She cautiously maneuvered her way back into Rei's room. 'Don't trip, don't sneeze, don't drop anything,' she breathed in a mantra along the way.

Rei woke from her light dose when Usagi entered the room and watched with bated breath as the Odango stepped around the empty futon, then set the tray full of liquids on the floor beside her futon without mishap. Remarkable!

Usagi was pleased she hadn't spilled anything to fuel the Miko's all-too-ready sarcasm and noted, with a certain satisfaction, Rei's slightly disappointed expression.

Rei smiled as Usagi's blue eyes sparkled triumphantly. "Sooo, Nurse Fussbudget, you're totally enjoying my misery, aren't you!" She sniffed the air. "Mmmm! Is that Mako-chan's famous cure-all chicken soup?"

Usagi returned the priestess' smile engagingly. "Right, on both accounts! You and the others are always taking care of me, so this is a real treat." Usagi perched on the edge of Rei's futon and said as indignantly as possible, "But if you prefer another nurse, I *could* call Nurse Minako... "

"No thanks. Living suddenly appeals to me." Rei said wryly as she reached for a cracker eagerly.

Usagi carefully poured Rei and herself some tea. She regarded her fire Senshi thoughtfully. She was genuinely pleased as Rei sipped at Makoto's warm, nourishing soup and nibbled crackers. "I have been worried half to death about you, Pyro!" she said affectionately.

"Yeah, I guess I have put you through hell, haven't I?" Rei owned. "Thank you for taking care of me, Usagi-chan..." She let her words trail off before her emotions betrayed her.

"Don't thank me yet, Rei-chan," Usagi warned, "Mamo-chan and I had the flu for two days! It wasn't pretty."

"I am *not* sick! I have a small hangover and I didn't even drink that much. I'm just not used to it, Usagi." Rei growled, reaching for her tea. "But I can tell you this... I am never drinking whiskey again!"

Usagi raised an eyebrow. "Well, since you are so hale and awake, you won't mind answering a few questions, will you, Miko-san?" She peered at Rei questioningly over the top of her own teacup.

"'Miko-san?!' This must be serious!" Rei contrived the air of long-suffering and groaned effectually. "Fine, Usagi-chan, but it's after three o'clock in the morning. You must be exhausted! Can't your questions wait until we both get some *real* sleep?"

Usagi started to protest but immediately yawned.

Rei crossed her arms in front of her chest and cast a baleful eye in the blonde's direction. "How gauche! And you want to avoid sleep, *why*?"

"I am tired, admittedly, but I wouldn't be able to sleep with all that's on my mind right now." She gathered her courage together and gazed deeply into Rei's beautiful amethyst eyes. "I need to have the answers to some important questions soon, Rei-chan." Usagi paused to sip more tea, then said quietly, "It seems my life has come to a crossroads of sorts. Queen Serenity came to visit me this evening and spoke of the possible futures that hang in the balance pending my decisions."

Rei had slowly polished off the bowl of chicken soup, then nibbled another cracker in meditative silence. Somewhat sated, she gave Princess Odango her full attention. She wondered what she personally had to do with 'the possible futures'. She exhaled noisily. "I'm sorry, Hime, I shouldn't have tried to blow you off like that." Rei gave Usagi a weak grin while she balanced her teacup atop a quilt covered knee. "Shoot. Ask me anything!"

Usagi regarded Rei somberly. "Rei-chan, you must be completely candid with me... no matter how painful my questions become and trust me, okay?" Usagi said seriously.

Rei nodded, her curiosity piqued. "I promise."

"I want to know what you felt inside when Yuuichiro-Kun left," Usagi asked not unkindly.

That was the last question Rei expected, but shouldn't have been too surprised. She wondered vaguely where Usagi could be headed with this line of inquiry, so she decided to humor the blonde. She looked back into Usagi's endless pools of sapphire blue eyes and answered honestly. "I felt betrayed, tainted, and rejected. As if nobody could ever love someone as abused and broken as I. Happy now?" Rei sipped some of her tea and avoided Usagi's perceptive gaze.

Usagi waited in silence while her proud bodyguard fought a broken spirit. When Rei's eyes finally engaged her own, they were dark with fathomless emotion. Usagi proceeded with care. "Rei-chan, ever since Jadeite's demise you've felt destined to be trapped in a loveless life of duty without a soul mate, right? And you probably thought Yuuichiro-kun was your last chance for any semblance of normalcy, didn't you?"

Usagi's words pricked at Rei's comfort zone and she bowed her head to purposely keep her face averted away from her princess. "Yes, that about sums up my sad plight fairly accurately. I feel incredibly alone, not even the sacred fire will co-operate by showing me who my soul mate is or was. But maybe Kagutsuchi thinks that is cheating."

Usagi took Rei's empty teacup from her hand and set it on the tray to refill it. Then clasping the Miko's hands in her own, she decided to risk her friendship and take a chance. "You know, Rei-chan, you can try to lie to yourself, but I won't let you lie to me. There is one other, isn't there," she plied gently.

Rei's head snapped up in shock and her eyes took on the haunted expression of a trapped animal. Rei tried to extricate her hands, but Usagi held them fast. The priestess quit struggling, cast her eyes downward, and refused to answer her inquisitor.

"The truth is, you do know who your soul mate is and it's someone you love very deeply. You don't need the sacred fire to tell you something that you already know in your heart. You have prayed over and over again in the hope that your heart is wrong, haven't you, Rei-chan? It's not Jadeite-kun, Mamoru-kun, or Yuuichiro-kun you are in love with, is it?" Usagi charged.

The truth that burned in Rei's soul now seared her conscience. She never looked up as she shook her head 'no'.

Usagi fought back her own tears as pain thrummed at her heart's core. "Tell me Rei-chan. Besides Jadeite, who has filled your dreams for as long as you can remember? Talk to me about denial. About those forbidden emotions and thoughts you've tried so hard to bury with anger and criticism just to protect yourself from certain rejection. Who is it whom you love so intensely, you would rather die in their place over and over again, than live in a world without that soul?"

Rei closed her eyes and cried in anguish, "Stop, Usagi! Why are you doing this to me?!"

"Rei-chan, please look at me! You said you would trust me... so trust me! Who are you in love with? Who does your soul desire more than *anyone* else?" Usagi encouraged softly.

Rei raised swimming amethyst eyes up slowly to meet Usagi's determined, yet compassionate, dark blue ones. "It's you," she whispered, "Kami forgive me! But, I'm in love with you, my Princess. My heart tells me *you* are my soul mate. That your soul completes mine and I don't understand why," she admitted while staring dejectedly into her lap.

"From that first day that I met you at the jinja, there was something about you. A certain connection. I was confused about the strange emotions I had for you and put an Ofuda on your forehead." She gave a small laugh and looked back up to finally meet Usagi's calm gaze. "How does the knowledge of this help with Crystal Tokyo's destiny, anyway? We can never be together even if you *did* feel the same way for me. Oh, this is absolutely pointless!" Rei hissed the last in exasperation.

Usagi released Rei's hands and couldn't help but smile a bit as she jumped up and down inside at her friend's outburst. 'Yesss! She loves me!' she rejoiced. She scooched a little closer handing Rei the refilled teacup. "It is not 'pointless'. Please bear with me, Rei-chan. The crossroad my mother mentioned is one where I must choose between a life of love, or a life of duty to fulfill destiny." Usagi blushed shyly at the raven-haired beauty. "I needed to hear you say you loved me, in order to make the right decision."

Rei gulped nervously. "Why? W-what right decision?"

"A life of love, silly," Usagi answered incredulously.

"Gee, what was I thinking... everyone knows you love Mamoru so, what exactly has changed?" Rei asked derisively, taking a sip of tea.

"Everything. I feel the same connection inside of me that you do, Rei. Your soul has always felt the same as Mamoru's to me and I never understood why." the blonde said softly.

Rei's eyes widened. "Y-you do? It does?"

Usagi sighed. "It's complicated." Tears came unbidden, her voice raw. "Mamoru's kinsuishou was changed recently and it has been slowly killing him. Our soul bond, Rei, it-it broke." Usagi reached for a tissue and blew her nose. "The weaker his bond becomes, the one I already have for you becomes more apparent."

Rei could feel Usagi's warm breath on her cheek and leaned away to finish her tea. What on Earth was Usagi telling her?

Usagi whispered tearfully, tea tray forgotten. "Do you understand now? Your soul and mine are mated..."

Whaaat?! Rei froze and dropped her cup as comprehension fled. This was *not* reality, it was some sort of magical moment that would dematerialize like an illusion if she blinked! How could this be? She couldn't dare to hope, dare to believe... no, no, it was just plain *wrong*! What was that about her Prince? Rei's eyes burned with unshed tears of confusion.

'Oh Kami, what am I to do? There must be some way to fix this!' She started to panic, 'I-I think she wants to *kiss* me! I know I shouldn't want this, but I do. I have waited so long!' She resolved, then, that it would be safer for herself not to accept what was transpiring. Her princess didn't deserve Rei Hino, she deserved her Prince. Rei closed her eyes tightly as sorrow swelled in her breast. Hot tears escaped unnoticed and slowly coursed down her pale cheeks.

"...and I am in love with you!" Usagi was saying with a finality in her soft, raw voice while deftly placing the dropped cup onto the tray.

Rei's liquid amethyst eyes opened and locked onto Usagi's dark impassioned ones. Time stood still in that moment.

Usagi parted her moist lips slightly as she laid her right palm softly alongside Rei's jawline and closed her eyes. Then she gently drew her fire Senshi's soft, yielded lips, into a tender kiss.

Rei closed her eyes as their lips touched. By the Gods, her Princess' lips were soft! Rei's fingers trembled as they brushed through Usagi's platinum blonde hair. She could hear Chibi Rei's voice screaming with terror in the back of her mind at this intimate proximity, but pushed the panic back. Usagi was *definitely* not her father and was not going to hurt her. This kiss was delicate and full of love for this broken mess. No, this was to be a different kind of hurt.

Intellectually she knew she shouldn't react, that it was cheating on Mamoru, but the chibi inside of her felt so starved for any small gesture of affection, she couldn't stop... couldn't pull away. Rei lay weakly back against the pillows, her head cradled tenderly by Usagi's left hand. She hesitated, then tentatively answered the gentle undemanding kiss with her own fire.

Usagi stroked the ebon locks of her fire Senshi and Rei gasped softly at the unexpected touch of fingertips to her bare midriff, her lips parting slightly. Usagi slid her tongue very slowly past tremulous lips and entered the warm, moist environment of Rei's mouth. Her heart fluttered rapidly in her chest. Oh, Kami!

Rei touched her princess' tongue with her own and savored the new sensation. Yuuichiro had never kissed her this way! He had only pecked her on the lips once. Of course, Grandpa *may* have had something to do with that.

Rei succumbed to the warm passion of this wondrous angel who treated her with such love and kindness. Usagi made her feel as though she were the most precious soul in the world and knew in her heart that her princess would always behave that way. Tears sprang afresh. My Princess loves me...

As they tasted each other, they grew a little bolder and began to explore one another. Soft sounds of pleasure escaped through the slow tangle of tongues as their passion grew. They pulled away to touch each other's faces and stroke each other's hair and their lips met again. Intoxicated by one another, they reluctantly pulled away from the unhurried kiss and touched their foreheads together. They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment; their breaths coming hard and fast.

Rei sat up and spoke first, "Usagi-chan, I... no, *we* can't let this happen! Our duties must take precedence over desire. This is irresponsible of us. You can't love both Mamoru-kun and me at the same time. Someone is bound to be hurt... and I sure don't want it to be me!" Rei said with a small tremor in her voice as, once more, tears threatened to spill. "I have had enough hurt to last me a lifetime."

Usagi stopped Rei with a finger put to the lips, then leaned forward to kiss the priestess' still passion-flushed cheeks. "Shhhh... no more hurt, Rei, I promise. I don't want you to base any decisions upon hypothesis, okay? In your infinite 'Miko wisdom' I think you have assumed that since Chiba-san and I are 'destined' to be together, *you* are destined to endure. Because that's all you have ever known." Usagi stopped talking and gave a huge sigh. "You've already resolved to go through eternity with a soul slowly tortured by forbidden desire, haven't you, Rei?"

Rei gave the barest of nods and rasped, "It... would be better that way, my Princess."

Usagi rejected Rei's submission with a shake of her head. "I am afraid you will grow to resent me, or worse, try another suicide attempt out of despair one day. I can assure you, Rei Hino, should you succeed, I would want to do the same."

Rei suddenly felt light-headed and teetered precariously. "I could never resent you, Princess," she breathed.

Usagi was instantly concerned as her friend's complexion paled considerably. "Are you alright?" she asked worriedly, wastebasket at the ready for cracker toss.

Rei squeezed her liquid filled eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. "I-I just need to lie down. This is all too much right now."

Usagi caught Rei as she pitched sideways, then quickly removed a few of the pillows piled against the wall before laying her friend down onto her back. She pulled the quilt up to Rei's neck and smoothed it down around her. She kissed each wan cheek in turn. "I'm sorry Rei-chan," she whispered, "I'll go get you a cool compress."

Usagi went to the bathroom and when she returned, she crawled under the quilt to cuddle next to her dark Senshi for warmth. She gently dabbed away her fire senshi's tear tracks and pressed the cool, damp washcloth onto Rei's forehead. Usagi gave a small sigh. "Rei-chan, I guess it's my turn to come clean. It seems I need to smash your conjecture with a little truth."

Rei opened her dark amethyst eyes in surprise. "My conjecture?"

"Yes," she replied cradling the Miko's face, "your erroneous speculation!" Usagi captured Rei's crimson lips and kissed her deeply. Grinning wolfishly, she clasped her hands behind her head, then settled back onto the pillows comfortably. "This isn't a bedtime story, so don't fall asleep on me, Rei-chan!" Usagi warned in mock seriousness.

"I promise I won't," Rei answered somewhat breathlessly. She thought Usagi's kisses before were wonderful, but this last one had practically debilitated her. It took her breath away and filled her with incredible joy. Who needed sleep?

To be continued...

Japanese Terms

Hime: Princess
Ofuda: A paper talisman with a deity written on it
Yukata: Lightweight robe