Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Sailormoon Dark ❯ Episode 17: The Passing of the Javelin. Cadmium and Tungsten's Primetime Program. ( Chapter 17 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Sailormoon Dark: Episode Seventeen
"The Passing of the Javelin. Cadmium and Tungsten's Primetime Program."

written by Laurel Wilson ( Sailorhathor@aol.com )
Inspired by the Japanese animated show Pretty Soldier Sailormoon.
The ideas for this fanfic were conceived in 1995, but this actual episode was written in August 2001. Revised September 2002.


"Mamo-chan's teaching his own class at my university, and I'm going to check it out!* Maybe I'll even sign up for it, teehee. But not if it means being attacked by Dark senshi on test days. Oh great, not even the first class and we're already trapped inside the television. Did I just say we were trapped inside the television?! Those Dark senshi can do almost anything! I wish I could watch, but I'm the feature presentation! Aiiiie!"
Pretty Soldier Sailormoon Dark Episode 17: The Passing of the Javelin. Cadmium and Tungsten's Primetime Program. The moonlight carries the message of love.

        "Touch the wand. I promise, I won't snap this time," Lappie assured.
        As she reached for the transformation wand of Europa, Kita shook her head. "I can't be Sailoreuropa. Me, a senshi? A hero?! No way..." Her fingers curled around the wand. Suddenly, rays of light shined between Kita's fingers, and her head filled with images she could not believe, images of herself in a sailor senshi uniform, carrying a silver javelin. She linked hands with Callisto-sama, Prince Onii-chan, and a girl she could not remember, then teleported by herself to her home satellite. An unfamiliar, shadowed army advanced on the Castle Europa. But where was Gany One-chan? See, that proved this whole thing couldn't be true--Gany One-chan would be in such a memory, as a member of Team Galileo. I can't be one of these warriors. Not someone who's afraid of her own shadow.
        Kita's hands shook as her memories brought her to the moment when this army overwhelmed her; she smashed a soldier over the head with the Javelin of Jupiter... is that what it was called? And then they swarmed on her. What will happen to Mommy and Daddy? I can't let them enter the castle!
        A little ways down the hall, Ursula, Tara, and Midori headed out of the elevator and toward Kita's room. "It's only an hour from now, and the class will be taught by Chiba-sensei. I may just sign up for it. I mean, I know practically everything about American tv anyway, so the class won't be too difficult for me," Ursula giggled. Again with the giggling!
        "Well, then you can help me with it, if I decide to take it," Midori said, winking. "Perhaps we could study together?"
        A sudden scream came from Kita's room.
        "That sounds like Kita!" Tara cried, running down the hall. Ursula, concerned, followed right after her. Midori was right on her heels.
        They had no idea that when they opened the door, they'd be walking into a scene that would be nearly impossible to explain to Midori, or so they thought. Kita sat in one corner of the room with a brown dog and a white cat next to her, both of which seemed to be trying to calm her down, with their paws on her arm. She had a lovely gold and purple wand in her hands emblazened with the symbol of Europa. This wand gave off a bright light that filled the room as it made noises like tinkling music. Kita, eyes closed, let out another scream. "Don't hurt them, please! Why are you doing this?! I thought Medusians were peaceful!"
        Ursula immediately rushed to her side and yanked the wand out of Kita's hands. Then she shook her. "Kita, it's okay. Snap out of it!"
        As her eyes opened, Kita realized what was memory and what was reality, and that there were other people in the room. "Ursula-sama? One-chan? Was that real?"
        As Ursula and Tara froze, wondering just what in the hell they could say at a moment like this, Midori asked, "Why does she refer to you as her big sister?" Not exactly the question they expected first, but it would do for a start, to break the ice.
        "It's a long story..." Tara replied, scratching the back of her head. She wanted to keep things light, but it was almost like being five and getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar after you've been told repeatedly NO MORE COOKIES! How were they ever going to explain this to him? "Kita just thinks of me as her older sister, because I once helped save her from an abusive boyfriend."
        "Oh. I hope the police took care of him after that."
        "Kinda... trust me, he got what was coming to him." That was the best way Tara could explain it without scads of extra time to go into detail. Sure, Adam had left Kita alone after that, but the aftereffects of Tara's first attack had left his eyes leaking rubies for months. Back home, he was an amazing spiritualist to the religious zealots, a boy able to produce jewels from his tears. If only they knew the truth...
        "Uhhhh..." Ursula put the wand down next to the dog, recognizing him. The guardian of Team Galileo, who never seemed to stick around for long. "Some guardian you are; where have you been?"
        The dog snorted.
        "Um... was that real..." She looked at Midori. "I don't know where to start..."
        "You don't have to explain, Sailorcallisto."
        At first Ursula just stared, dumbfounded, then blinked. "Um... Sailorcallisto? What makes... you think... I mean, who's Sailorcallisto?" she finished.
        Tara started to laugh. "You almost had it, Ursula."
        "Well... I... how did you know? I mean, you weren't even there the other da--" When she paused, her eyes widened. "You were there the other day?"
        Instead of speaking, Midori simply showed her his transformation wand.
        Ursula looked at it with a dumbfounded expression. "I guess it wasn't such a long shot that I would be Sailorcallisto then, especially in a country with a much smaller black population than back home, hm?"
        "I figured it out," Midori replied with a laugh.
        She smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yes, I am Sailorcallisto. And I had suspicions about you, but not as definite... you're Soldierchlorine?" She wanted to say something about those obvious feelings of attraction they had felt toward each other. "And that's your transformation wand?" Ursula laughed nervously, wiping her hands on her pants.
        "Yes."
  ;       "Oh..." Ursula ran her fingers over the wand. "Yeah, we all have wands too, except for Nath--um... well I guess the cat's out of the bag anyway. Except for Nathan. He only fights as the Prince of Ganymede."
        "And I'm Sailoreuropa!" Kita suddenly said brightly, holding up the wand, which had just started to calm itself.
        Tara recognized the symbol and clapped for her. "I knew you were somebody special! Welcome to the club." She gave Kita a big hug.
        Standing up, Ursula explained, "We're Team Galileo. The senshi from the four major satellites of Jupiter. I am their leader. The one who can't keep a secret." She laughed, showing some humility in the face of her nervousness.
        Midori mentally counted them. "Prince Ganymede is the fourth?"
        "We haven't found our fourth yet. Prince Ganymede is, well, also from Ganymede, so we don't have the senshi from Io yet," Ursula explained. "That's part of the reason we came here to Japan, because Tara and I had these dreams... you know, weird senshi stuff. We were told we'd find the rest of our team here, now. I certainly don't know where to start... she could be anywhere, anyone..."
        Kita thought of the visions she'd had while holding the wand. The senshi she didn't recognize... it was Sailorio? "Why did you come here?" she suddenly asked Midori.
        "To this room?" he inquired, confused. "I was just taking a walk, and-"
        Smiling, Kita replied, "Oh, I thought maybe you were brought here by destiny. You know, so you could meet your true love." She pointed at Ursula.
        Ursula, jumping as the finger pointed to her, slowly turned her eyes to Midori's face, to see his reaction. Her face was shy and hopeful.
        Without a second thought, Midori took her by the shoulders and gave her a soft kiss on the mouth. He then touched her lips as he said, "I'm sorry if that was too forward."
        Ursula blinked, her eyes wide, then her face took on a more gentle expression. "If you hadn't done it, I would have," she said, and leaned up to give him a longer, more involved kiss.
        Nearby, Kita giggled with her hand to her mouth. "It was written all over their faces."
        Suddenly the door to the room opened. "Did I hear screaming in here? What's wr-" The tall female at the door scrunched up her face in anger. "This is a girl's floor! No sex allowed in the rooms!" She dragged Ursula away from Midori.
        "Wha? Duhey!"
        Quietly, Tara muttered, "I think we just met our Floor Monitor."
        The tall girl frowned, brushing a white braid off her face. It was a stark contrast to the rest of her hair, which was purple. "You're not allowed to do these kinds of things in the rooms. I could put you all on report." She looked at Kita, who was smiling guiltily, with both hands behind her back. "Just don't do it again." With that, the tall girl left.
        Artemis and Lappie came out from behind Kita's back. "Phew, that was close."
        Now this gave Midori a start; he blurted, "A talking cat?!"
        "Where there are senshi, there are guardians," Artemis replied with a kitty grin. "And they all have the ability to talk."
        "Oh... I didn't know that," Midori said. "I don't have a guardian. But... I have had dreams about them... the guardians of the other senshi. It looks like those weren't just dreams."
        Tara gossiped, "You know, I heard our Floor Monitor was a real hardass; now I see that it's true. One of the other girls on the floor told me she acts like that 'cause her dad went on a shooting rampage at work and killed a bunch of people."
        "Aw, that's sad," Kita said, pouting.
        Shrugging, Ursula added, "Well, it is sad that something like that happened to her, but it's no excuse for being mean to people."
        "Some people can't help it, when they've experienced tragedy."
        "She probably doesn't even realize she's so harsh," Kita lamented.
        "I'd be glad to tell her," Ursula replied; she was the realist of the group, and was less prone to feeling sorry for anyone. "I could do without being dragged away from my extracurricular activities." She put her arms around Midori's neck. "You wanna go to this class orientation with me?"
        He grinned, "Of course," and slid his arm around her waist. They had moved so easily into the "open attraction" phase of the relationship that it took a load off his mind; no reason to beat around the bush now.
        "I wish I could go to this orientation with you guys, but I have a class," Kita said. "I guess we'll have to save getting caught up for later."
        Checking her watch, Ursula replied, "We've still got some time. Plenty to go around with the introductions. Midori, this is Lappie... and I don't believe I've met the white cat yet..."


         "I want to go." Hikaru pounded a fist on the table. "I want to see what it's like."
        It was the day after Heri and Hikaru were supposed to have their talk about such weird things as the Underworld and half a body covered in small cuts. The next afternoon was as soon as they could get together, it turned out, because Hikaru's running coach wanted her to get a good night's sleep the night before.
        Heri folded her arms. "I don't think that's such a good idea. The Underworld isn't an amusement park, Hikaru."
        "Are you kidding? It sounds killer! I gotta see it. Look, you got your transformation thingie down there; I haven't received mine yet. All I've had is the big death and the Elemental Shield resurrection thing. I want to be able to transform into Sailorneon whenever there's trouble. I want the whole magical girl trip!" Hikaru declared.
        Several people shushed the excited girl; they were in the Mirai Mugen library, after all.
        Heri sighed. "There's no guarantee your transformation wand will show up just because you go down to the Underworld. Mine appeared because Sailorcharon was in danger." At the thought of Charon, she couldn't help but smile.
        "Okay, maybe things won't happen exactly that way for me. But I want to go. Please? I'm one of these soldiers too; you can't shield me from experiencing the danger forever. The danger is going to find me anyway. I did mention the girl with the swirly sucker?" Hikaru asked, smirking.
        Rolling her eyes, Heri nodded. "Okay, fine. Next time I go to the Underworld, you can come along. But I've prewarned you that it's going to freak you out, so don't come to me later going, 'Why didn't you tell me it would be so weird?' like you did after we saw Eraserhead."
        "Yo u have my solumn oath," Hikaru chortled. "All this senshi stuff has me thinking... remember how I used to have all these vivid dreams about me being a princess in a big castle, and you said you had dreams just like that when you were a kid too? Was that true?"
        A gentle smile of remembrance came to Heri's face. "Yeah, that was true. I was a princess too, and I wore a long yellow dress. My sisters called me the Banana Princess because that's what I looked like in that dress, a big banana. Remember how when we were kids, we wrote stories about ourselves as sister princesses, with our four other sisters? The castle was always filled with laughter..."
        Suddenly the two girls said in unison, "The six sisters of Castle Noble," and then laughed.
        "Castle Noble... I haven't thought about that in years. It was the center for the powers of the Noble Gases. The center of our power. It wasn't all just a dream, was it? Those stories we wrote together, they're our memories, aren't they?"
        Heri nodded in reply. "I think so. Which means out there somewhere, we have four reincarnated sisters."
        "No wonder I feel so close to you, as if we could be sisters. We are." This brought a happy grin to Hikaru's face. "I've got to recover my powers. Then we have to find our sisters and carry on the legacy of Castle Noble. You remember how the stories always ended?"
        Nodding again, Heri replied, "The army of Metallia attacked, and Castle Noble fell. The six sisters died defending it. Metallia didn't do that alone. No, she had a lot of outside help. And many of those enemies are still out there. Perhaps the people who corrupted us into protecting the Dark senshi were the ones who caused our castle to fall."


      & nbsp; Three girls looked up at the ceiling of the room they currently occupied, their heads resting on a mound of pillows. "Thanks for bringing these snacks over, Usagi-chan," Holly said. She started on her third candy bar. "Mmm... it's been years since I had candy. You don't know how much you can miss chocolate when you can't have it."
        "No problem. You know, there was a time when I could eat a whole bag of these and still have room for dinner." Usagi looked at the candy bar in her hand, which would be her second. "Now... I think I'm full."
        "Can I have that one then?" Endora asked.
        Frowning thoughtfully, Usagi handed over the candy bar. "I'm not the same person I once was," she sighed.
        "Seems like a good thing, eating less than you used to," Holly commented. "I wouldn't be pigging out like this if I hadn't been deprived of normal food for so long."
        "Maybe..." Usagi said absently. "So what have you got for food on that planet you got trapped on? Altrusia?"
        Holly spoke between chewing her candy bar. "We've got some regular stuff like onions and potatoes, but we also have carrots as big as baseball bats, and strawberries as large as soccer balls."
        "Soccer balls?! Talk about Strawberry Tall Cake! How do you eat something that big?" Endora asked.
        "You cut it up. We've got a dinosaur on Altrusia named Dopey who could eat a whole cartfull of those berries." Smiling wistfully, Holly continued, "You know, I actually miss him. I finally get back to Earth and I miss things about that stupid land of the lost."
        "I can't imagine having to live anywhere where there are huge dinosaurs," Endora said. "That must've been scary."
        "It was, sometimes." Taking another bite out of her candy bar, Holly said, "The Sleestaks were often scarier, though. I wouldn't be saying that if Li'am was in the room. He's kinda sensitive about that."
        "He?" Usagi asked, looking at Holly. "Li'am's the senshi in blue, isn't she?"
        "It's a loooong story; remind me to tell it to you sometime," Holly replied. "Boy, I really could go for some pizza tonight. I haven't had pizza in years."
        "Hint taken," Endora joked with a wink.
        The robotic box they had accidentally brought with them from Altrusia bounced into the room. Usagi curiously watched it boing over to Holly and come to a rest. "I imagine you have a lot of stories you could tell me, Holly-chan. Some time, you'll have to explain that thing about your father again-"
        "Not much to explain; he's just home and that's about it. He was messing around with a matrix table when an earthquake hit, and it threw him through a dimensional doorway that was open to home. My dad's somewhere in America right now... maybe even in the same house we lived in back then. More than 20 years have passed for him..." Holly stopped to let out a sigh of regret. "I wonder if he's still trying to find a way to get us out of the land of the lost after all this time."
        Touching Holly's arm, Usagi assured, "Any father who loves his children as much as your father seems to love you would never stop looking for a way to bring them home."
        A grateful smile graced Holly's face upon hearing that. "Thank you, Usagi-chan."
        "Well, I get that your dad made it home in the 1970s, but I still don't understand the matrix tables."
        "Or those dimensional doorways," Endora added.
        "Is it particularly bad to mess with a matrix table during an earthquake?"
        Holly laughed. "It's not good to mess with one of those at any time! But they were our only key to home, so we took the chance."
        "You'll have to tell me all about it one day soon. Right now, I need to get back to college. My sweety Mamo-chan is running an open orientation for his class on American Television and Cinema--he'll be teaching at Mirai Mugen! It's one of those fast track classes that only lasts three months, but you get full credit for it. I think I'll sign up," Usagi giggled.
        "Wow, your boyfriend's a college professor--how sophisticated," Holly mused. "Have a good time, and thanks again for the snacks."
        "You're very welcome. See ya!" Usagi bounced from the room, much like Box had bounced in.
        "Boing!" Box cried upon seeing her leave.
        "Speaking of boingy snacks, where are the Twinkies? Where's that bag?" Endora pawed around between the pillows, looking for the bag of candy Usagi had brought. "Did you see where it went?"
        Down the hall, the "ghost room" was virtually silent, save for some faint sounds that almost seemed to be someone smacking as she chewed with her mouth open.
        Within the shadows, the sound was much louder, and much more annoying. "Do you have to eat with your mouth open?" Baby Baby Love asked. "I'm trying to work here." On a table before her were two Soul Shields, the Cadmium Shield and the Tungsten Shield. The Elemental Senshi who owned these shields lay unconscious on the floor. A bright light lit up the table like Baby Baby Love was doing surgery.
        Sailordarkcosm os sighed, obviously annoyed by what she'd said. A ring of chocolate and Twinkie cream encircled her mouth. "I don't eat with my mouth open. Shut up. Besides, separating the Light half of a Soul Shield from the Dark half is child's play. What's taking you so long?"
        "I may have the power to find these senshi through the energy you gave me, but I don't have the power to split Soul Shields as easily as you can. These two Elementals are not like the others; they won't be as easily brainwashed because they don't have two senshi souls in one body. Turning them to our side has to be done differently."
        Darkcosmo s sighed again. "Boooooring. You already told me this."
        "Okay, then if you understand what I'm saying, why won't you help me do this?" Baby Baby Love asked.
        "Because I'm tired. I need a nap."
        Baby Baby Love took her turn to sigh. "How could you be tired? You slept practically all day."
        Stepping from the shadows of one of the corners, Sailordarkmercury punched at the keys of her handheld computer. "Our Dark queen apparently needs her rest, Baby Baby Love. Why don't you let me help you?" She examined the readout on her computer screen. "Ah, I see. Hold the Cadmium Shield steady for me."
        Baby Baby Love did as she asked. Darkmercury took one of her Messenger Blades and, using the readout on her computer as a guide, placed the Blade just so... when she brought it down, the Soul Shield began to split apart. It made horribly off tune music as the Light half separated from the Dark half.
        "Hey, thanks!" Baby Baby Love said with a smile. "Now let's do the other one."
        A half-eaten Twinkie suddenly bounced off the side of Sailordarkmercury's head. "You think you're so much better and so much smarter than me, don't you Ami? Now you show me up by making it all look so easy."
        "But I am smarter than you, dummy," Darkmercury smirked.
        Darkcosmos instantly began to bawl. "Waaaaaaaah! You called me dummy even though I graduated from high school and got into a good college."
        "You're talking about the accomplishments of your Light half, and she was only able to do it because you weren't there," Darkmercury said.
        "WAAAAAAAH!" Sailordarkcosmos lunged at Darkmercury, throttling her neck.
        "I'm sorry, I went too far, didn't I?" Sailordarkmercury lamented between gasps for air. "That's so unlike me."
        "It's exactly like you to second guess and doubt yourself, Mercury," Baby Baby Love commented as the fighting senshi passed by. She discreetly grabbed one of the Messenger Blades. "I suppose I'll have to get this finished myself."
        Within a minute, Baby Baby Love had both Elemental Shields split and the Dark halves put back inside the bodies of the two senshi. Sailorcadmium and Sailortungsten were coming to as she prepared to go. The Light halves of their Shields floated forlornly above the table, left behind.
        "You guys have fun killing each other; I'm going to go out and get some more stuff for the Dream Eater," Baby Baby Love announced. "Cadmium, Tungsten, come with me."
        "Of course. It is our duty to serve the Dark."
        "Command us, oh child of darkness!"
        "Yeah yeah, just get in the portal."


       ;  "Mamo-chan!" Usagi hugged Mamoru around the waist like he was a big overstuffed teddy bear.
        Mamoru, dressed in a respectable suit, had been getting the big screen television ready for the open orientation of his class when his girlfriend squeezed all the air out of him. "Uuuuusa-ko..." he wheezed. "Hello gorgeous. Have you decided to take my class after all?"
        Smiling brightly, Usagi nodded. "Yes I have. A class on American Television and Cinema is right up my alley. I need some elective credits, you know."
        "And the fact that the professor is your boyfriend isn't going to be a problem?"
        "Not unless it's a problem for you."
        "I can keep it in the right perspective. But you know, we can't kiss in front of the students. The university would not approve," Mamoru playfully reminded her.
        Usagi looked around the empty room. "There aren't any students in here now," she pointed out with a smirk.
        Grinning, Mamoru leaned down and kissed her.
        Just at that moment, Nori Chochin, her brother Ban, and his girlfriend Kitaeru walked into the classroom. Nori loudly gasped.
        Mamoru, flustered, broke the kiss and tried to regain his composure. "Uh, good afternoon. Are you here for the class on American Television and Cinema?"
        "Yes we are." Part of Nori wanted to die, seeing the princess... Usagi, she reminded herself, ... and Endymion kiss again, but she did everything she could to hide her feelings. "Is it customary for a professor to kiss his students at orientation?"
        Ban cringed at the edge in his sister's voice. "Nori..."
        Keeping his composure, Mamoru replied, "No, it is not customary at any time. What are you doing here, Miss Chochin? Shouldn't you be working in the library?"
        Nori took a few steps down into the auditorium-style classroom. "Yes, I do run the library, but I am also a student here. At least now I am. Someone is covering for me in the library. It never hurts for a woman to keep her education current, wouldn't you agree?"
        "Of course."
        Nori coyly eyed Mamoru from across the room. "How did you know that I'm the director of the library here? Have you been checking up on me, Endymion?"
        Mamoru was obviously shaken by that one. "Please, you may refer to me as Chiba-sensei, Miss Chochin."
        "Oh, so formal..." Nori finally selected her seat. Ban and Kitaeru both sweatdropped as they took seats next to her, especially when she added, "You look very nice in that suit," and her eyes softened with love.
        At first, Usagi had been embarassed and worried she would get Mamo-chan in trouble, caught kissing the teacher, but the more this Nori and her Mamo-chan spoke with such familiarity, the more Usagi's feelings turned to confusion and a touch of jealousy. Sailoralbatross warned her... Nori called him Endymion... the way she looked at him... was it possible Mamo-chan dated this girl in the past? The very distant past? There was so much discomfort between them.
        Trying to break the tension, Ban made small talk. "From what I've read about your class, Chiba-sensei, it sounds very interesting."
        "Yes, and we all need elective credits," Kitaeru added.
        Mamoru politely acknowledged what they said, but he was really feeling a great deal of anxiety. She's only taking this class to get under my skin. He tried his damnedest not to stare at Nori, but she was sitting with her legs crossed, top leg bobbing up and down, and boring holes through him with her eyes.
        "Mamo-ch--Chiba-s ensei, are you allright?" Usagi asked.
        "If you're feeling nervous, Endymion, they often say it helps to picture the audience naked," Nori commented, chewing provocatively on her pen. "That shouldn't be too hard for you to do with some of the people in this room."
        Ban kicked her shin under the desk top. "Stop it Nori."
        Before Mamoru could react, the door in the back of the room opened again and several more students stepped in. Usagi was delighted to see Hotaru, Setsuna, Haruka, and Michiru coming into the room. It wasn't possible nor appropriate to talk to Mamo-chan about Nori right now, so she welcomed the diversion.
        "Everyone, hello! Are you all taking this class too?"
        "I will be," Hotaru replied. "Setsuna-san and Michiru-mama are just here to observe, for the open orientation."
        "I figure everyone could use a break now and then just to sit back and watch some tv," Michiru joked.
        "Not in my class!" Mamoru called with a laugh. "There will be actual work to do too."
        "I might take the class," Haruka said, "if the professor makes it sound good." She winked and waved to Mamoru.
        The door opened again and in stepped Tara, Ursula, Midori, and Nathan (who had been picked up along the way). Of course he couldn't register for any classes, being that he was just visiting, but this was an open orientation, so it was okay for him to be there. They were followed by Senetsu and Kako, who had Vivian and Momono with them.
        "I'm so glad I met up with you two; it's so hard to meet the right kind of people at a university where just anyone can take the entrance exam," Vivian snorted. "So much riff-raff squeaks by..."
        "So true," Senetsu agreed, rolling her eyes.
        "Oh, there's my friend Nori. Let's go sit by her."
        Momono, obviously a bundle of nerves, shook her head. "No, I don't think I should attend this orientation after all. I forgot, I already have a class at this time." She hurried away.
        Senetsu rolled her eyes again, a gesture that was almost her trademark. "Liar. I think she's avoiding us."
        "There are plenty of seats here," Ursula called to the rest of her group.
        Nathan, always in the mood to tease, tried to sit between Ursula and Midori. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you going for that seat." He eyed Midori's arm. "Why is your build so familiar?"
        Midori just shrugged with a smirk.
        Kako looked at Nathan, who was a row above her. She snorted. "Are they letting kindergarteners in here now? He can't be more than sixteen."
        "Seventeen!" Nathan retorted. He glanced down at the other girls with the snob. One of them... oh, she had the most lovely blue hair with light blue highlights that surrounded her face like the halo of an angel! And the way she looked at him, with such tentative but obvious superiority; it was plain that she wanted to show open attraction to him, but refused to because of the social situation. There was definitely some attraction behind that snooty expression. Oh how he loved that adorably snooty expression!
        "What?" Vivian said to him, feigning annoyance at having him look at her. She saw his eyes move over her legs, with those thigh-high pink stockings, and how he practically drooled in response. A look of satisfaction came over Vivian's face.
        "I was just wondering how you get your hair to bounce and behave like that. Mine can be so difficult to fluff properly."
        Vivian wasn't sure if he was making fun of her or complimenting her. "It's a woman's secret. Really, I'm surprised you didn't say that heaven called because they were missing an angel. Isn't that the standard pickup line for weasels?"
        Grinning, Nathan replied, "Date lots of weasels in your time, Angel?"
        "My name is Vivian."
        "Ahh, so lovely. I'm Nathan."
        "Big deal. Kindergartener." Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Vivian took her seat next to Senetsu.
        This hard-to-get routine only made her more attractive. Still grinning, Nathan sat right in Midori's lap.
        Midori could plainly tell that he hadn't done it on purpose, which made the situation even funnier. "Hey, Hanagata, I'm gonna hit you with a frying pan if you don't scoot on up."
        Glancing behind him, Nathan had a genuine look of confusion on his face. There was already someone in this chair? He'd been so busy drooling over the sexy upperclass chick that he hadn't even noticed until the chair spoke. Now Nathan realized what Midori was saying, and actually blushed red as a beet. "Sorry," he muttered, and slunked into the seat next to Tara.
        Tara's mouth popped open. "You made him blush! What'd you say?"
        "It was more what he did that made him blush," Midori answered quietly. "He seems to be real attracted to that girl in the pink stockings. Why he's making plays for me, then, I don't know."
        "He's kinda bisexual," Ursula put in, again, quietly. "But I think he goes a little more for girls than boys."
        "At least we have that in common."
        In response, Ursula giggled, which was becoming her standard response to the giddy way Midori made her feel.
        Kako, having watched the whole thing, "humphed" at the group and turned back around. "Riff-raff," she growled.
        Within a few more minutes, more students had filed in, and it was time to start the orientation. "Good afternoon, I am Chiba-sensei, the professor who will be teaching this class. This is American Television and Cinema. Today we're just having an open orientation so you can decide if you want to give a fast track class a try; it lasts only three months, but you get full credit for it. I hope it will be very informative for you. Why don't we go ahead and get started by watching a few tv programs, and then we can discuss them." He switched on the tv. "Would someone get the lights please?"
        "Lights!" a voice cried from the back of the room. The lights went out, and a bright spotlight came on, shining on Mamoru. He dissolved and disappeared right before the eyes of the class.
        "Mamo-chan!" cried Usagi, jumping up.
        "Camera!"
  ;       Mamoru, floating in a sea of static, appeared on the television screen. He looked around with great concern before banging on the glass, as if he was trapped inside the television.
        "Action!"         Several of the senshi in the room were reaching for their transformation items when they each realized almost simultaneously that they couldn't transform here; the room was full of students ignorant of their secret identities. The Spotlight was shined on Haruka, Michiru, Hotaru, and Setsuna, who all tried to avoid its beam, but disappeared into the tv screen anyway.
        "What have you done to my friends?! Who are you?" Usagi yelled. Her hand curled around the Cosmos Brooch.
        Sailortungsten agiley jumped down from the top of the room and landed in front of her. "Action, Take One!" The evil senshi raised a clapboard, just like the kind used to mark scenes in tv shows and movies, and snapped it shut at Usagi. She dissolved and reappeared inside the tv screen with the others, floating aimlessly in the static.
        Many of the students were confused or even ran screaming from the room, but it was still too risky to transform in plain sight. The other senshi did not have long to ponder what they should do, because Sailortungsten turned on them.
        "Action, Take Two!" Tara disappeared. "Action, Take Three!" Nathan was gone.
        Ursula grabbed onto Midori. "We have to hide and trans-"
        "Lights!" Sailorcadmium cried.
        Ursula shielded her eyes from the light just seconds before she and Midori were absorbed by it.
        By this time, Nori, Ban, and Kitaeru were busy trying to find a place to hide so they could transform. They were heading for the large television (lots of room behind it!) when Tungsten leapt down and landed in their path.
        "Lights, Camera..." Cadmium shined the Spotlight on them.
        "Action!" Tungsten clapped her scene marker in their direction. "Take Four!"
        Nori, Ban, and Kitaeru were taken into the television too.
        "What the heck is this?" Kako wondered aloud. "Is this some sort of stunt to make the class seem more exciting?"
        "Whatever it is, the special effects must be applauded." Senetsu and Kako both clapped snootily.
        Vivian tried not to show great concern, but inside she was worried about what Sailordarkcosmos was up to. Did they have to put the cute little American kid in danger? What was his name, Nate?
        Sailorcadmium handed the remote control for the tv to Senetsu. "Find something interesting for the class to watch."
        Shrugging, Senetsu responded, "Okay," and started channel surfing.
        A blonde girl came onto the screen, dancing with all of her friends. o/` Who's that girl flying like a bird, Sailor, Sailor Moon! o/` One of the friends went by in a wheelchair that shot lasers.
        Kako and Vivian dove for the remote. "Change the channel!! Change the channel!!" The three girls fought over who got to push the buttons.#
        o/` Love... exciting and new... come aboard, we're expecting you! The Senshi Boat, soon will be making another run... o/` With Mamoru Chiba as the Has-Been Actor making his tenth appearance on the show, and Usagi Tsukino as Charro.
        "Coochie coochie!" Usagi squealed, capering around the tv screen in a skimpy sequined outfit.
        "Oh I hate this show. Change it," Kako whined.
        Senetsu did. The senshi now seemed to be trapped on a desert island. Usagi, dressed in a red shirt and light colored jeans, ran on screen crying, "Skippeeeeer!"
        A fat Nori in a blue shirt came out of a nearby hut. "What is it, Usagi?"
        "Skipper, the island is being attacked by headhunters! What should we do?"
        Mamoru, dressed in a white shirt and tan pants, stepped into the scene. "We should stir coconut milk real fast to generate enough power to run the transmitter. Then we can call for help."
        "You're so smart Professor. I love how smart you are." Usagi hugged the Professor.
        Skipper-Nori started hitting Usagi over the head with her cap.
        "What are you doing that for?!"
        "I never wanted the Professor to see me look this fat!"
        "Well why hit me?!" Usagi protested.
        "Because it's your island!"
        Haruka, Michiru, Hotaru, and Setsuna walked up to the others. Haruka was wearing men's clothes and carrying a drink with a mini-parasol in it, Michiru had on a fur coat and a loud hat, Setsuna wore a slinky dress, and Hotaru had her hair up in pigtails.
        "Mr. and Mrs. Howell, Ginger, Mary Anne, the island is being attacked by headhunters!"
        "Oh Lovey, headhunters again. We should go hide behind our pile of money," Mr. Howell-Haruka suggested.
        "Thurston, what about the others?" Mrs. Howell-Michiru asked.
        "We've got enough money to hide everyone!"
        "I could always do a sexy dance, like I did in my last movie, The Zombie Senshi of Rangorango," Ginger-Setsuna said.
        "Or maybe I could bake a coconut cream pie," added Mary Anne-Hotaru, "although I don't think it would help any."
        "Perhaps whatever mystery allowed us to bring piles of money and many suitcases of clothes on a tour that was only supposed to last three hours could provide a miracle to save us now," Mr. Howell-Haruka hoped.
        Professor-Mamoru mumbled, "Obviously you weren't here when I suggested the foolproof coconut-milk-stirring plan."
        Ban, dressed as a headhunter, jumped out of some nearby palm fronds. He shoved a spear at them. "Ooga booga!"
        Kitaeru emerged from the fronds next, dressed in a hula dancer outfit. She did not speak, only hula danced.
        "Ahhh, Mr. Headhunter, please don't shrink our heads!" Usagi begged.
        "Pulu si bagumba!" Headhunter Ban poked Mr. Howell-Haruka with the spear.
        "I've had about enough of this, Lovey." She grabbed the spear and flipped Headhunter Ban over her shoulder.
        "Good show Thurston!"
        Headhunter Kitaeru danced around Ban's head. He made no move to get up, only leered at his headhunter mate. "Ooooogaaaaa..."
        "The hell? Mr. Howell throwing the headhunter over his shoulder? This show has changed too much," Senetsu complained, and changed the channel.
        Kako curtly clapped her hands. "Good show Thurston."
        Tara rushed onto the screen; she was in the hallway of a hospital, and one look through the window into one of the rooms told the audience that Nathan had been hurt. He was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Vivian visibly tensed up. Ursula and Midori, festooned in furs and cowboy hats, walked up to Tara.
        "Ursula, Midori, my brother N.R. has been shot! Ursula, you're his ex-wife, and Midori, you're his shifty business partner--do you two know anything about this?"
        Looking at Midori, Ursula shook her head. "I don't know anything about the shooting. I was in my penthouse, ALONE, at the time N.R. was shot. Midori, do you know anything about it?"
        Chewing on a toothpick, Midori replied in a fake Southern accent, "Why I reckon I didn't see a thing. Poor ol' N.R. decided to stay late at the office after I had already gone home, so I didn't see who shot him."
        Putting her hand to her forehead, Tara sighed overdramatically. "Things would be so much simpler if you had gotten a look at the shooter. If he dies, who will get control of Mason Oil?" The camera came in for an extreme closeup of Tara's tearful face. "Who, Lord?!"
        The scene cut away to an aside from Midori and Ursula. She threw her arms around him dramatically. "I can't wait until N.R. dies. Then, Mason Oil will be all ours!" They kissed.
        "We've got Mason's sister completely snowed. She even still believes I'm really from Texas! What a dupe! We'll be out of the country before she ever figures it out."
        Ursula kissed him again. "You're so brilliant! What did you do with the gun?"
        "What do you think? It's sitting in Tara's office desk right now, as we speak. Ahahahaha!" Midori snickered.
        "AhHAhahahah aha!" Ursula laughed loudly.
        Midori sneered; there was a closeup of his sneering face. Overdramatic soap opera music played in the background.
        "Ooh, good soap. We'll stay with this one for awhile," Senetsu commented.
        "But we have to change the channel before N.R. dies!" Vivian suddenly cried. The others looked at her. "I can't stand a sappy death scene," she finished, trying to cover up her true fears. If any of them died inside the television, would they die for real?
        Sailortungsten leaned over to Cadmium. "Aren't we supposed to get all of these senshi offed so we can take their Soul Shields and Talismans?"
        "Don't worry. There's plenty of time for that. I've got a special program in mind."

"I don't want to be trapped in a soap opera for the rest of my life."
"What difference does it make? The rest of your life is such a short time anyway."
"You won't succeed, evil senshi! We're not ALL trapped in here. Sailorjupiter could come along any minute and save us all."
"Why would she just happen to do that? Doesn't she have gym class? And didn't she say that the athletic coach looks just like her old sempai who spurned her?"
".............. We're all gonna die!!!!"
Sailormoon Dark Episode 18: The Passing of the Javelin II. The Last Minute Dash. The moonlight carries the message of love.

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* It was never clearly stated in the anime just what Mamoru planned to do with his life, nor what he was studying in college, at least not that I could see. So I have given him a career. If it was stated in the manga, no one I talked to seemed to know what it was, but this fic is based on the anime anyway. :)
# The tv show Kako, Senetsu, and Vivian are fighting to switch the channel away from is Saban's proposed live action version of "Sailor Moon." Of course this version was never made, but a promotional clip was passed around and eventually wound up on the internet several years ago after it was broadcast at an anime convention and someone taped it with their handheld camera. If you have not seen this clip, FIND IT. It's like a trainwreck.
Some of the scenes from the Gilligan's Island portion of this episode actually came out of the show--the coconut-stirring thing, and the line, "Pulu si bagumba!" which in headhunter language meant something like, "Release the prisoners." It's pretty much my favorite sit-com ever, so... ^_^


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