Sakura Wars Fan Fiction ❯ TIME DIVER ❯ Falling Shooting Star and Lucifer of Time ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

It was the feeling I always experienced up until I decide to embrace my destiny as Time Diver and pilot Argan as my mecha. It wasn't decision that I can made within a single night, but I believe about my existence must be has a meaning in this universe. I don't know but I always feel about the meaningless of my existence before without knowing or realizing about the mistake I made. It was everything that I dreamed for never happened and I never saw a happy ending toward all of my dreams. Sometimes, I always think about this as the unfair decision made by God, if the almighty really exist in this universe since there are a lot of people with wicked intention or those who ignorant to think for this universe's better future than me being given a better chance to grasp their dream although later on those people use those dreams to make this universe's condition become worse.
It was the first time I pilot Argan and I learn about the meaning of being granted divine power from nowhere. On that time, I haven't learnt anything about my existence and I just want to use this power to please me. At least that's what came out from my mind on that moment. I was a fool on that time but if I'm allowed to defend myself, I still feel the righteous decision that I made that time. I feel that I have no obligation to save my home planet let alone my home planet, Earth or always being referred as Blue Star keep on betraying me. I feel no love from the one proclaimed herself as Mother Gaea as my life always being miserable. Up until now I still think about that and those painful memories seems being carved inside my mind. I feel the power of Argan seems only protecting my weak mind and physical body from enemies' attacks but let alone those painful scars in my memory still cannot be healed even with Argan's divine power.
Good and Evil always keep on fighting and their battlefield always be inside humanity hearts…
I witness many things happened during my day as Argan's pilot or people always call me Time Diver. I saw the war that I thought as fantasy before but as I realize about that war, fantasy and reality is just something being divided with a thin line. I saw those fantasies become reality as my past life seems just a dream or nightmare for me at the moment although as a nightmare, it's still haunt me to no end. No one could heal the pain inside me as I keep on watching over this universe alone as the maintainer of universe's karmic balance. I know that maybe the fact where I was shielding myself make me don't want to understand other rather than make those people to understand me. It was something that can't be helped as I already formed a distrust feeling toward humanity in the first time. No matter what happened, I feel no obligation to save humanity from my homeworld including Mother Gaea herself. I was the one that once being thrown away like space rubbish and now was needed the most for their own benefit like their precious treasure. I will never ever do that unless humanity already feel enough to learn from their mistakes and making amend from that which is I doubt they will do it.
The more being freed from the darkness, even more those who fall into the same darkness…
If I was asked before about the true meaning of justice, I will never be able to answer that. But right now I have my own believe for my own code of justice. I will follow that code of justice for keep on fighting for something that I believe in even if by any means making the whole humanity become my enemies. I'm not afraid to have humanity become my enemy but the only thing I regret is, even with this divine power, I still cannot be able to show them a proper path from their foolishness. It was something that I ever saw before in my life, as I thought humanity has strong will to freed themselves from their darkest destiny, I never realize that I was wrong the whole time about that matter. Humanity is creature that never be able to learn from their past mistake. They will keep on repeating the endless circle of destruction and I don't know until when I need to watch this kind of things keep on repeating itself.
To be honest, I'm tired…
In the sense of my consciousness, I pilot Argan to change humanity's future. I understand that it might be futile but I want to prove them about I am willing to show them the proper path. Well, I already make a decision not to help them but by showing those foolish humanity a proper path, I will be able to show them a way that make humanity obtain ability to free themselves. I know about that and I will try my best as Time Dive no as former human to show them that path. It was the destiny I chose and I'm happy with that.
To Be Continue