Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Slayers: MYTHOS ❯ Problems: What?! No Magic?! ( Chapter 1 )

**Disclaimer** don't own slayers chars or anything like that.why, if i did, don't u think i'd be writing episodes instead of fanfics? huh huh?

A/N: This is for all those who said I should write a Xel/Lina fic, so here it is. I'm hoping to make it somewhat realistic, at least from a Slayers POV. Once more, I'd like to say that I have yet to see Slayers Next and Try so if I'm wrong on anything, by all means, correct me. Hope you like!

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Lina was mad, from her perspective right now, life sucked..She proceded in storming down the road, well aware of the ten pairs of eyes following her, she was also aware that they had been closing in on her. "If you're gonna come out, you might as well do it now!"

Nervously, five men creeped out from behind bushes, Lina took note of this and immediately regarded a person garbed in a black cloak, shadowing their whole body, minus the left hand which glittered with many jewels, obviously on rings. 'A guy wearin' a ring, never thought I'd see the day,' "They don't suit you." She gestured to the person, 'But then, can't even tell if it's even human, probably not with my luck.'

The creature grumbled a few times then regarded Lina with a gruff, definitely male tone of voice, "You Lina Inverse, shall pay for your actions against our reviered leader."

"Oh?" The petite sorceress lifted on of her scarlet eyebrows and crossed her arms around her chest, "And do you take cash or credit?"

This caused everyone around to facefault. The leader of the troop stood and screamed to her face, his voice reaching a pitch Lina thought no male should be able to, "You little witch, listen here, you're gonna die for what you did!"

Lina yawned, unimpressed, "Uh huh, pardon me if I don't seem so excited but after the first fifty death threats, they start to get old. No offense, but you bandit types just aren't what you used to be, all talk and nothin else." She mocked yawned just to drive her point in farther.

The man in the black made a grab for her arm and yanked her closer to him, causing her to almost wretch at the man's stench. 'It's like he hasn't bathed in years! Ugh, anymore of this and I"m gonna lose my lunch all over him, and that's a lot to lose, although, it may be an improvement on his smell.' "Hey Mr. Big, Bad and Raunchy! You'd do best for yourself to let go of me!" The dark man winced in fear, but still held fast to Lina. "Fine, you asked for it! FIRRRRRRRRRE BALL!"

The cloaked man shut his eyes tightly and awaited the pain to come, for he knew well Lina Inverse's reputation as the bandit killer. Truth be told, he never wanted to set food near here, but the group of bandits he had pledged his loyalty to had elected him as the perfect candidate to exact revenge, mostly because they didn't want to risk their own heads. One benefit was that he was able to bring along nine of the best men trained in combat styles not yet learned by the most accomplished swordsman. That was a couple days ago, the very night Lina Inverse had set food upon their camp, looking for treasure and trouble [which she preferred more, he didn't know] and taking out the bandit leader at the same time. Now, however, he opened his eyes looking down at a completely dumbfounded Lina who was gazing into her own palm at a small wisp of smoke. Counting his blessings quickly, the man concluded that the fireball hadn't had the desire effect and that he was still alive. Lina's magic was ineffective, then he grinned. ~*~ Lina couldn't stand another minute of this man, he was disgusting and smelled worse than a garbage can filled with rotten onions. She hadn't gotten a good look at his facee but pretty much knew that it probably didn't look any better either. She readied her fireball, but quickly remembered why she had particularly hated life this morning, being a woman sucked at times, espcially when you really needed your magic but were going through that particular time of the month Lina was repulsed, why did fate hand hre such horrid cards, "Where's Gourry when you need him? Oh," She began in a sickly sweet little girl voice, despite her position and the look in the cloaked man's eyes, "He's off helping Slyphiel. Being all noble and that garbage. So much for that jellyfish." Lina finished her speech in a clearly frustrated, disgusted tone.

The cloaked man licked his lips and looked down at Lina almost hungrilly. Finally getting a better look at his face, well actually, his eyes, she found that one of them was green, and the other brown. The brown eyes seemed to be lower on his face than that of the green eye, which seemed as if to look into her very soul and render her motionless. The man again licked his lips and spoke in a scratchy, dry voice, "Honestly, I think you're more beautiful than what others give you credit for."

Lina recoiled at the horrid stench of his breath, if his body odor smelled bad, his breath had to be five times worse, it seemed to go to her very stomach. That accompanied with what she knew was about to happen, she just wanted to open up and let it all come out, but decided she was more cultured than that. 'Here goes.' Lina closed her eyes trying not to breathe out of her nose as he leaned closer to her. 'Why can't I just fight back? Oh yeah, this smell is bad enough to make Xellos turn happy.'

Suddenly, shouts were heard and Lina's eyes snapped open just as some sort of long rod came down to rest atop the man's head and he collapsed ontop of Lina, knocking her over. She screeched and tried to wriggle her way out from underneath the rank mass of cloak and person. Standing up, Lina brushed herself off and turned up her nose at the horrid odor that was now all over her clothes. 'Disgusting!'

Looking around her, trying to find her rescuer to repay him with a rather heated comment of why he hadn't been there earlier, Lina found herself in the midst of a once-avid battle zone. All of the ten men who had once been hiding now lay on the ground unconcious, a familiar smirking face attached to a rather tall, slender body, standing in the midst of them. "X-Xellos? What'er you doing here?"

"That, my dear Lina, is a secret, but right now, we must leave before that man," Xellos gestured to the cloaked man laying flat on the ground, "wakes up."

Lina was at a loss, she had no clue as to what had just happened, Xellos had taken care of all these bandits, come to her aid, and yet, they were all alive, just indesposed.

From somewhere behind her, Lina heard the words 'shadow snap', and suddenly, she couldn't move as she felt something clutch her leg.

"Don't leave my dear." The cloaked man had awakened and was now snickering up at her, holding her leg for support as he crawled over to where she stood, ignoring the dagger which held her shadow in place. Lina panicked and wimpered slightly, 'Why isn't Xellos doing anything, he came before.' "DO SOMETHING YOU FRUITCAKE!"

Xellos simply looked at her sadly and began walking to her. Lina, ever frustrated by the way her bad day seemed to only be getting worse as it wore on, suddenly found herself muttering the words to the only spell she could cast in her monthly state, "LIGHTNING!" And her shadow rapidly disappeared, leaving her ample time to kick the man square in the face before Xellos had grasped her arm and yanked her, running, down the forest trail. Before the bandit ground could fully disappear however, Lina caught sight of the man's face bathed in sunlight, blood dripped from a twisted nose, apparently broken from her kick, although, one truly couldn't tell, his horridly scarred dark face was pulled up into a grin, revealing black teeth. The man seemed to mutter something which Lina only heard within her soul, "You're running away with the very devil himself, you'd have been safer here lovely."

Lina turned around to face Xellos's back, feeling suddenly nauseated again. However, something seemed to cross her mind before that, they were running, 'We're not floating like he usually does...' Suddenly, Lina was caught up in memory of seeing him walking toward her:

"DO SOMETHING YOU FRUITCAKE!"

Xellos walked sadly toward her.....

'Was that emotion I saw? But, what's going on here?'

"You're running away with the very devil himself..."

'I don't think this is gonna have a very good ending...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~
Lina: V/O [voice over] So, as you can all plainly see, I'm on the road again. Good ol' Gourry's helpin Slyphiel with something in Sairaag, Amelia's back home and Zel's off lookin for his cure, but, it's all for the best, sort of. Only, now I've got Xellos chuggin along with me again but it seems that he can use just about as much magic as me, what's up with that fruitcake anyway? Nest Episode: Secrets?! The Trickster Priest's Unveiled Secret