Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ A Brother's Love ❯ 10 - Duplicity ( Chapter 10 )

~Chapter 10~

 

 

 

"There are two of me in my heart."

 

Darkness was darkness, but it never lasted for long. Darkness would swoop in like a blanket of night, moving out again, leaving just the quiet atmosphere, almost relaxing were it not for the personal feelings connected to such a place.

 

"There are two of me in my body."

 

Not that the place wasn't beautiful. The clouds were easily beautiful, constantly moving around, moving past as if the point from which they were watched from was somewhere high above ground level; indeed, in such a place, was there even a ground for there to be level with? All that existed seemed to be the clouds.

 

"There are two of me in my soul."

 

Still, that didn't matter, not really. All that existed were the clouds, the clouds... the clouds, and the solitary figure that sat amongst the clouds, knees pressed to his chest, arms linked around those knees, eyes closed, angelic wings quiet and unmoving behind him.

 

The figure could hear the voice, but he wasn't the one who spoke. He heard the voice, but he chose to ignore it for the time being.

 

"I am only one half..."

 

He could have agreed, but he didn't.

 

"... you are the other."

 

He opened his eyes, they flickered in annoyance. His wings opened behind him, they flapped a little, and he rose slightly higher in the sky landscape. He glanced around, as if trying to place where the other voice had originated from in the first place. He scowled.

 

"Stupid... if there are two of you, then how can I only be half? How can you only be half?"

 

Silence.

 

A smirk. That showed him.

 

"... You are not... the me who's supposed to... you are not ME..."

 

"If I am not you, then who am I?"

 

Another silence.

 

"Marron?"

 

A section of clouds seemed to shift, revealing another figure, a similar figure... the figure who'd spoken. This figure was in much the same position as the other had been in, but he seemed so much guarded, so much more fragile, so much more bitter... behind him were wings, red and black demon wings... he seemed somewhat more harried than the angelic version of himself. His eyes seemed as if they'd been crying for so long, his cheeks were tearstained, but tears didn't run down them now. Just the glare that emanated from his eyes, so focused, so angry... the angelic Marron barely reacted at all, just smiling gently at that scowl. The smile was gentle, but... it seemed false, almost.

 

"I don't know who you are, but I know that you shouldn't be here."

 

"Yes, well... it doesn't matter, does it? Even if I'm not supposed to be here, I am, and you can't fight against that. I'll fight against you for as long as it takes to overpower you, Marron..."

 

"If we were the same, we would not be fighting..."

 

The clouds darkened, the look on angelic Marron's face becoming similar. Somewhere amongst the clouds, lightning struck. The clouds shone for a moment with that light, then darkened again.

 

"That's true. Perhaps, perhaps. Alright, so maybe we're not the same... but I'm still here inside you, Marron. Tell me who or what I am if I am not you..."

 

A tearful stare, "I... I don't KNOW..."

 

An unpleasant smirk; the angelic figure reached out, taking hold of Marron's shoulder. He moved so he was behind him, nestled between the demonic wings.

 

"These wings are impressive, aren't they... it's a shame you can't soar on them."

 

"Those wings..."

 

"Mine are beautiful, mine let me go wherever I want... don't you think they're beautiful?"

 

"Those wings are stolen. You stole them from me."

 

A finger ran itself over the area where the demonic wings met shoulders; there seemed to be some kind of wound there, some kind of scar... an old wound, one that'd healed, but even so, the scar was still there, a memory of what once was, was still there.

 

Over his shoulder, Marron leant himself.

 

"Perhaps I did, but don't they look beautiful on me? Don't you see me and feel jealous? Don't you remember when Carrot said that someone had stolen your wings?"

 

"That was you. You stole my wings."

 

"Ah, but you said that we were the same, that there were two of you, and I am one of those people... if we are truly the same, then who am I to steal from you? It'd be as if I was stealing from myself... quite ridiculous, don't you agree?"

 

The other Marron tried to move away, shift him from his back, escape his soft voice, his touch... the angelic version of himself wasn't going to move away anytime soon.

 

"You are... you are NOT me... you weren't always here..."

 

Darkness moved into place again, and suddenly the clouds had disappeared entirely. There was an unpleasant, sinister laugh...

 

"Oh, but Marron... I was. Even before all of this, I was here, wasn't I?"

 

"N-no!"

 

"Perhaps not in this form, but... I have always existed within you, always been inside you... you know it's the truth... don't fight it, because you KNOW it's true..."

 

He moved again, moving back in front of Marron, who just frowned angrily, "No! How could you have always been inside me?"

 

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not you. But I'm part of you that's always existed... I bless magic for giving me form, even if it IS just this form inside you... from day to day life, you can't speak, can you? You cry for Carrot, cry for your brother, but outwardly, you don't even realise... sometimes you become stronger, such as during that battle... and it brings you such pain, because as soon as you feel freedom, I fight you down again... but I've always been here, Marron."

 

"What... what do you mean?"

 

"Well, let's consider... think of before this. Before you met Radish, before you met Celery, before Qeran... before any of it. Before any of that, what was the greatest source of pain in your life?"

 

"Pain? Pain... I... I can't think..."

 

Angelic Marron's eyes narrowed, "Yes you can. The greatest source of pain... the greatest source of joy..."

 

Marron looked away, "The greatest source of... of pain... of joy... that can only be... niisan..."

 

A nod.

 

"Yes... now, if I do this..."

 

The angelic Marron moved away for a few moments, his wings surrounding him... feathers flew around for a few moments, and the wings spread again, wide and beautiful... but it was no longer Marron who wore those wings. Between the wings...

 

"Nii- NIISAN!!"

"Yes, Marron. Back in your dreams again... those terrible dreams that you could never stop having, right? Dreams of me, dreams of only me... such dreams you'd never dare mention in day to day life, because how would anybody at all react to them? Marron dreams so deeply about his brother... and how wrong is that? Not only another male, but... your brother... someone who shares the same blood, the same parents... someone who protected you all through your life... and suddenly taking that much too deep, imagining that protective hand doing more to you than just protecting, that person who protected you... some of those dreams pushed the boundaries of his behaviour, didn't they? Overpowering you like that, making you SCREAM... he'd never do that, no loving, protective brother would do that... isn't that perverted of you to even think that he might act like that? Carrot Glacé is many things, but I doubt he's-"

 

Marron just looked away, speaking angrily. "Don't take on that form if you're not really him..."

 

Carrot smirked, "It makes you uncomfortable? Don't you miss him, Marron? Didn't that love bring you both such pain? However... alright, if that makes you so uncomfortable, then..."

 

The wings obscured his figure again for a moment, and when they parted, Carrot was no longer visible; this time, the angelic apparition had taken form as Radish.

 

"Radish?"

 

"I can cycle through forms as I will... the pain and suffering connected to each is different, but basically the same. I am the you who exists, and you, your real self... you're stuck somewhere you can't escape, and you don't even awaken when day comes... these nights, when my power is weaker... this is the only time I can talk to you, the only time I can be with you like this... as your brother, I remind you of the pain you felt, wanting him so badly, unable to have him... I can tease you in that form, Marron. How he is, the girlchasing pervert... girlchasing... I suppose he only dreams of girls, doesn't he? He wouldn't dream of you, he'd never think of you like that... oh, and doesn't that hurt? ... As Radish... the form who took you from your life with your brother... who took you for his own selfish reasons, who took you in more ways than one... ah, but I owe him my life, for without him, I would be nothing but unsure thoughts at the back of your mind, surfacing when you see your brother naked and wonder what it'd be like to taste his skin, sample his touch... then, and only then... so who am I, Marron? Who am I, to exist like this?"

 

Marron looked up, feeling so unsure.

 

"I... I don't know..."

 

Radish shrugged, "Perhaps I AM you, in a way. I'm definitely part of you, and I've always existed, even if not like this, even if you didn't realise. Perhaps... I'm your pain? I'm your suffering? Or is it more than that? Maybe I'm like... an inner demon, a personal demon... I'm yours, Marron. I won't leave you alone. Even when you forget about me, I'll always be there, inside you... the uncertainty, the doubts... all of them can be extended by me. The feelings that bring you the most intense emotions... that passion... it's always tainted by guilt, isn't it? Guilt, worry, knowing that just thinking about that is so pointless..."

 

The demon circled around Marron, "No matter how much you want Carrot, you can't have him. His heart beats for the appearance of the next pretty girl to hit on... he can be deep, he can be serious, but would he ever be deep and serious for you? Forsaking pretty girls and his own personal feelings to rest alongside his little brother, to run his hand down your body and know what it did to you?"

 

"Shut up... don't talk like that!"

 

That just caused a smirk.

 

"And this form... Radish... he says he loves you... do you believe him? He says he loves you, and you don't argue, because you can't. You don't remember the desperate love you carry for Carrot when you're with Radish, do you? That's the power of his magic, it manages to drown you out and intensify myself... or at least drown you out, until you don't even know who Carrot IS. To a lesser degree with Celery, even though he's not so hellbent on your seduction. But isn't that terrible, Marron? You don't even remember who Carrot is."

 

At that point, Marron leapt at Radish, but Radish just flew to the side, letting Marron fall, smirking at his effort.

 

"It's true, though. It's true, and you know it. The brother you love so deeply, the only person you truly want to be with... the only person you want to exist for... and you don't even remember who he is. Isn't that horrible? He cares for you so much and you forget him so easily."

"SHUT UP!!"

 

"Ahahaha, this affects you deeply, doesn't it? No, but... think about it. Doesn't being away from him, doesn't not knowing who he is... doesn't that provide some kind of... freedom? You don't have to worry about the feelings you felt for him, you don't have to concern yourself with his wellbeing, you don't have to think about him at all... you can live for yourself, and isn't that wonderful?"

 

"I don't care about that... niisan... niisan's the most important person to me, as long as he's safe, I... I can't rest unless I know he's safe..."

 

"And yet you won't remember him come the morning."

 

Suddenly, Radish faded into darkness, and Marron was left on his own.

 

He looked around in shock; "Wa- Wait! Where-...?"

 

Somewhere in the darkness, a figure was visible. Marron frowned, his wings lifting him curiously towards the figure he saw.

 

"... Who...?"

 

As he got closer to the quietly walking figure, he realised.

 

"... Niisan!"

 

It was indeed Carrot. He lacked angel wings, and looked perfectly similar to the Carrot that Marron remembered... he looked so quietly serious, though. He looked up when Marron called his title, but didn't smile.

 

"Yes..."

 

"In my dreams..."

 

Marron flew forward and almost knocked Carrot over with the intensity of his hug; Marron's wings kept the two balanced, however.

 

Carrot tried to separate from Marron's hold, "I hate how you feel about me... wanting me like that..."

 

"I know this is only a dream, niisan... you don't have to behave like that..."

 

"You'll cry while you sleep, knowing this is only a dream... the more real it is, the more hopeless it becomes, because it's only a dream... and you don't mind?"

 

"If having you in a dream is the only way I can, then... then I don't mind. Even if it's painful, then I'll accept it, because it's the only way..."

 

Carrot stroked Marron's shoulder, his wings vanished. He smiled an almost shy smile, "I see..."

 

Marron blushed and looked to the side, feeling that bit more naked without his wings. Carrot slipped his tanktop off, "Then... if this is only a dream, it doesn't matter."

 

Marron leant forward, embracing Carrot.

 

"Thank you, niisan..."

 

"I hate making you cry, otouto..."

 

"It's worth it if it's for you..."

 

And so, Marron slipped into another dream of he and Carrot, a dream that would be forgotten come the morning.

 

****

 

The morning in Eden was a bright one. In Tira and Chocolat's bedroom, the curtains had been opened, and so the bright morning sun shone into the room.

 

Both Misu sisters were currently asleep. It was maybe a little late to be asleep still, but it was excusable; neither Tira nor Chocolat had been able to sleep well for the past couple of days, and their sleeping patterns had been affected by this.

 

It'd started a couple of days ago; the morning after everyone had returned from the battle at Qerada, in fact. The Sorcerer Hunters had woken up as usual, and Chocolat had felt like giving Carrot an early morning wakeup call, just because he'd been so serious recently, and she thought that maybe it might help loosen him up a little, even if he didn't react the way she wanted him to... he never did anyway.

 

She'd been surprised and shocked to find his room empty. After checking the bathroom and double checking his bed again (in case he was hiding underneath it), Chocolat had realised that Carrot's most oft-used clothes were gone (whereas, if he was sleeping, he usually threw them to the floor; Marron would often tidy up his brother's mess, but of course, Marron wasn't around to do so), as well as his boots, his sword... Chocolat hadn't known what to make of that, and so, in her worry, had ran to Big Mama to talk about it. Big Mama had already been awake, and had acted quite distant about the whole matter. Chocolat had demanded to know where Carrot was, Big Mama had just looked sadly at her, "You can't follow him, Chocolat. Try to relax until he returns."

 

Anything more had been met by unhelpful riddles and responses, so very like Big Mama.

 

Despite Big Mama's request that Chocolat relax, she'd been unable to. She'd returned to her and Tira's bedroom, to find Tira awake; Chocolat moving around had awoken her, and she'd wondered where Chocolat was; Chocolat had jumped back into bed, slightly tearful, just saying that Carrot was gone.

 

Tira had panicked for a moment, "He's DEAD?!"... Chocolat realised how her statement could have been misconstrued, and explained what'd happened with her trying to wake him up, and Big Mama's reaction to the whole business.

 

Later on, Gateau and Eclair had been informed of Carrot's disappearance, Eclair had seemed shocked, but Gateau'd seemed strangely distant, mumbling something about how that was yet another person who probably wouldn't come back, who'd be next?... Chocolat had tried to ignore that, but couldn't help but feel the same, in her heart of hearts.

 

That'd been the day after.

 

The days passed slowly enough, the Sorcerer Hunters were called for a few minor missions, but nothing too vital, just an afternoon's work, things to keep them occupied, even if only barely. Some missions were Chocolat, Tira and Gateau, some were Tira and Chocolat, and some were Gateau and Chocolat, just like the old days. Despite the potential closeness of smaller workgroups, not much was said by any pairing; just getting on with the job in hand, doing what Big Mama asked...

 

The morning dawned for the umpteenth time. Chocolat had been lying on her side, facing away from the window in their room... when she rolled onto her back, the bright sunlight shining in fell across her body, and she twitched slightly, eyes opening slowly.

 

It took a while to adjust to the light, but Chocolat didn't mind. She had all the time in the world, or so it felt like. She glanced across at Tira... she was still asleep. Chocolat sighed loudly... she still felt so tired, but she doubted she'd be able to get back to sleep again.

 

Chocolat's first thought with each morning was usually 'I wonder if Carrot'll come back today?', and today was no exception. She stared wistfully at the ceiling as she wondered... would he be back today? Where had he gone, anyway? Chocolat supposed that there wasn't really any cause to worry, not if Big Mama knew of the situation and was unworried about it herself... Chocolat couldn't help but feel angry, though. Big Mama had said not to worry, she'd said for Chocolat to relax until Carrot got back... didn't she realise, that just wasn't possible? As far as Chocolat knew, Carrot could be anywhere, doing anything, with anyone!

 

That last thought was the one that irked her the most. What if he was off with some pretty girl? What if they'd eloped?

 

Chocolat blinked.

 

That was a pretty weird thought.

 

But still, in such situations, the mind played out all kinds of scenarios, all of which seemed as real as the last, even if, after thinking about them, they seemed quite stupid...

 

Chocolat sighed again. Carrot could be an absolute moron, a girlchaser, an idiot, a pervert, all of that, but she still loved him, and it was hard to concentrate on anything without at least having a vague idea of where he was... even if he was on the other side of the Spooner Continent, as long as she knew that was where he was, she wouldn't worry!

 

Well, perhaps she would, she thought. But at least she'd know where he was to be able to worry like that. It brought down some of the uncertainty, anyway.

 

Tira shifted in her bed, making some kind of sound in her sleep. Chocolat looked at her, "Tira?", wondering if her little sister was anywhere near waking up just yet.

 

Tira opened her eyes slightly, still looking sleepy.

 

"Wha... wha time izzit?"

 

Chocolat smiled softly at Tira as she sat up, "I don't know. It's probably a bit late, though... the sun's shining brightly..."

 

Tira reached for her glasses on the bedside table, but they were a little out of her reach; Chocolat picked them up and handed them over, Tira put them on, sitting up herself.

 

"So I suppose Big Mama doesn't have any missions for us today?"

 

"She'd have woken us up earlier if she had, I think. Or maybe she just sent Gateau out. I don't know. I guess if we've got a day free we should treasure it, right?"

 

Chocolat flailed her arms around, "I wouldn't mind staying in bed for another little while. Don't feel like going back to sleep or anything, but... I don't know, I just can't be bothered to do anything else..."

 

"Mmn... oneesama, do you think Carrot'll come back today?"

 

A slight pause.

 

"I don't know."

 

"How long's it been now?"

 

Chocolat thought for a moment.

 

"This is the fifth day, I think..."

 

Another pause.

 

"I wonder what he's doing that'd take him so long..."

 

There was a knock at the door. Chocolat glanced down at her nightgown, and Tira in hers, then at Tira herself, silently asking her. Tira wrinkled her nose slightly then nodded.

 

"Come in!"

 

The door opened, it was Milphey. He smiled kindly at the two girls, "I just thought I'd knock before I came in in case you were naked or anything... not that I wouldn't mind seeing that but you'd probably mind me looking. So, how are Tira and Chocolat today?"

 

Milphey took up a place on the opposite side of the room to Tira and Chocolat's beds, leaning against the wall. Chocolat looked a little distant, "Carrot still isn't back yet..."

 

"That's true, he isn't..."

 

Chocolat looked at Milphey, "I just wish Big Mama'd say where he was! I mean... it's bad enough when he goes places and we know where he is, but he never usually just goes like this!"

 

"If you knew where he went, you'd want to follow him, wouldn't you?"

 

The Misu sisters glanced at each other, then nodded slightly. Tira looked up.

 

"Even if it was just to make sure that he was safe..."

 

Milphey walked towards the window, looking out on the sunny city in the slight distance.

 

"There are some things people just have to do on their own, though. Mamu-sama knows that, I know it... maybe you do too, but I suppose you can't help but worry..."

 

Chocolat sat forward suddenly, "You mean, you know where he is?"

 

Milphey leant against the windowsill, glancing down at a small bird which perched on his extended forefinger. It twittered gently, he smiled.

 

"There's nothing more relaxing than the local wildlife."

 

"Milphey, just say if you know where he is!"

 

The bird took it's leave. Milphey watched it fly off until it was invisible to him, sighing, turning around back to face the two girls.

 

"Alright; I know where he is."

 

A moment's thought, then he added onto that, "Well... maybe not exactly where he is, but still. Tira, Chocolat... isn't it obvious, though?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Marron is still missing... Carrot obviously misses him... where do you think he is?"

 

Chocolat gasped, "I wondered if maybe he'd done that but I didn't think he actually would... you mean, he's gone off to get Marron back?"

 

Milphey just nodded. Chocolat frowned.

 

"But that's so dangerous! I mean... I know Darling can be reckless at times and everything, but I didn't think he'd, y'know, just go there like that!... But where those Sorcerers are, it's ages away! Is that how come he's been gone so long? Did he just escape one night? How come Big Mama just let him go? Isn't that like... disobeying her, because he's not around to do missions and stuff?"

 

Milphey's gaze was unmoving, "As I said, some things, some people just have to do on their own; I don't know quite why Carrot has been gone for this long, but... as for getting to Qerada... he had Mamu-sama's assistance in doing so."

 

"Mama just let him go like that?!"

 

Milphey nodded, "She did. She was the one who told me he had to do this on his own; after he went, I expressed some concern, I wondered if perhaps I should have gone with him, at least... but I can see her point of view. If he wants to rescue Marron, then might it not bring him some glory to do it alone?"

 

Tira hugged her knees to her chest, "But isn't he in danger if he just goes on his own?"

 

Milphey just winked, "Carrot's stronger than he seems, sometimes. Also, you have to admit, he's been a lot more serious about this since Marron went, don't you agree? There may be no pretty girls involved, but when it's his own brother involved, he's at least serious about it. That will work to his advantage, I think."

 

Chocolat leant back against the headboard of the bed, "I guess... I'm still kinda worried, though..."

 

"I know you are, both of you are obviously going to worry about him... I worry about him. However, we can't do anything about that now... we have to put our trust in Mamu-sama... also in Carrot's own strength, and just wait for him to come back. In any case, if he was in any serious danger, we'd know about it."

 

Chocolat half-glared at Milphey, "Would she actually tell us if he was, though? Or would she just not tell us anything?"

 

"Chocolat... if he was truly in danger, we'd know about it."

 

"I, I guess..."

 

Milphey's look dropped to one of sympathy, "I know you're bound to worry about him, but... until he comes back, all we can do is wait for him...!"

 

"But what if he doesn't come back?!"

 

"He will. I'm sure of that."

 

"Well, he'd better... if he dies, I'll kill him! How could Darling be so selfish to go off like that without telling me? He should be punished for making beautiful women cry and worry about him! When he gets back, I'm going to punish him... Tira, you too?"

 

Tira blinked at Chocolat, then smiled good-naturedly.

 

"Oh... of course, oneesama."

 

Milphey just smiled at the two of them.

 

"Well, it's nice to see you two with a bit of the old spirit, at least. Still, i-... when Carrot comes back, he'll probably have Marron with him, he'll probably have fought bravely against those two Sorcerers, so..." Milphey winked again, "... don't be too hard on him."

 

Chocolat just smiled, "We'll see."

Milphey laughed softly, and, having informed Tira and Chocolat that what they'd suspected was true, made his leave of the room.

 

Outside of the room, he glanced down the corridors. The sunlight poured through the windows, making the whole place look so incredibly beautiful... outside, the city of Facade bustled with distant activity, also looking beautiful as the sun shone down on it... Milphey wasn't too bothered with the beauty of the morning, though. He was purposefully looking for something - or someone - else.

 

He walked down one way of the corridor, passing other rooms... wondering where that person was... he reached one of the relaxing rooms, somewhere where Big Mama often liked to go to watch the world outside, perhaps have a cup of tea and a game of chess with Grand Pa... at the moment she was absent from the room, and Milphey supposed it'd be as good a place to wait as any. If Sirius was looking for him as much as Milphey wanted to find him himself, then he'd come across the room eventually.

 

Milphey sat himself on the windowseat, looking out of the window at the view. The window itself had some kind of intricate pattern on it, which made looking out of it a little tricky... he pulled the latch and pushed the window open; it opened, Milphey felt the cool air on his face as it did so.

 

He watched the outside world for a little while, not feeling the compulsion to do anything else. No-one summoned or called for him, so, while there was the chance for a quiet moment, he didn't see anything wrong in indulging in it.

 

After a while, Milphey was feeling quite relaxed, and wondered if perhaps anyone would notice if he took a slight nap... he leant his head against his arm, still looking out of the window, and closed his eyes gently until he heard a sharp rapping at the door; he sat up suddenly, wondering who that would be... after all, no-one else really knew where he was, did they? They wouldn't know to knock not to disturb, would they?

 

Milphey's mind clicked into place, "Come in..."

 

The door opened, and, as expected, Sirius walked in.

 

"I was looking for you."

 

Milphey just smiled at Sirius as he closed the door, "As I was for you. Well, you've found me at last... anything happening?"

 

Sirius sat himself on one of the soft chairs in the room, spreading his wings, leaning back on them.

 

"Not especially."

 

Milphey motioned for Sirius to continue; Sirius sighed.

 

"There's really not that much going on out there!"

 

"Well, you could at least tell me how far away he is from the Salt household, couldn't you?"

 

Sirius nodded begrudgingly, "I'd say he's no further than a day away; by the evening he should be there... he's travelled quite some distance, I'll admit."

 

"I see..."

 

"You're still worried about him?"

 

Milphey nodded, "I can't help it... Chocolat and Tira seemed concerned because he's on his own... and I'll admit, that's quite a cause for worry within myself also. Carrot is quite strong, and of course, he has the power of Zooanthropy within him... however, without Marron to absorb his magic, or the Misu sisters to whip him into exhaustion, the only way he'll have to turn back human is if he becomes exhausted by his own accord. I don't know how long that would take... everything else aside, what if he gets lost?"

 

"Big Mama'll bring him back, surely?"

 

"Indeed, but who knows what destruction he might cause in the meantime?"

 

Milphey leant back from the window, "I suppose I'm just worrying over nothing... I hope Carrot can bring Marron back safely."

 

Sirius glanced at Milphey, a serious look on his face.

 

"If you're so concerned, why don't you go out there yourself, follow him, make sure he's okay?"

 

"He doesn't need my help, he-"

 

"No, I mean, he doesn't have to know you're there. You could just follow after him, stay silent, stay quiet... I daresay you have those powers, being as you are... you keep sending me out to check on him... I don't mind, I enjoy feeling the wind beneath my wings, but... Dota is starting to become suspicious..."

 

"She is?"

 

Sirius nodded, "Yes... whenever I say I'm just going out to spread my wings a little, she always jumps up so eagerly, 'I'll come with you!'... it gets harder and harder to come up with excuses with every passing day. Half the time I keep expecting her to follow me anyway, but thankfully she doesn't... I trust you still want this to remain secret between us two?"

 

Milphey nodded, "Yes, I do... but if it's becoming too much of a problem for you, then you don't have to keep doing it. I'm just curious as to Carrot's progress, that's all..."

 

He frowned. "So how do you get rid of Dota?"

 

"I keep saying I'm going out to buy her a present, and it wouldn't be a surprise if she came with me. Then she gets all excited, but she at least remains here while I'm out. I've been able to find things to keep her happy, and some people are so surprised to see a person with wings and a tail, they're willing to let me have a few things for free... it's amusing how many people think I'm going to kill them."

Milphey chuckled, "You don't go along with that, do you?"

 

A smile, "Oh no, no. Scaring people isn't exactly my forte. It's quite funny... they almost throw things at me, 'Take anything you want, just don't kill me!', so I have a little bit of this, a little bit of that, then I smile and say I wouldn't have killed them anyway."

 

Sirius idly scratched at his chin, "Hopefully I'm not making a reputation for myself as some kind of thief... I'd hope not. But it is worth it to see Dota's face light up whenever I bring things back for her."

 

He smiled warmly, "She's wonderful, Milphey."

 

Milphey just smiled back, shaking his head. "You two were really made for each other, weren't you?"

 

"I'd like to think so."

 

"Still, if you ever did want to do anything with another man, you know, just to see what it was like..."

 

"Milphey, I've already said, no!"

 

Milphey smirked, "You're gorgeous though, can't blame a guy for trying."

 

Sirius coughed self-consciously, blushing slightly. "I-Indeed... well. Anyway, I don't think I'll have to worry for too much longer... as I said, Carrot is getting very close indeed to that household... do you want me to go out there again, or...?"

 

Milphey thought for a few moments.

 

"Well... I'll give him this evening. And tomorrow also... however, if he isn't back, or Big Mama hasn't brought him - and Marron-chan too, hopefully - back in the next two days, then perhaps I might want you to go out again, check on him, see if he's around, if anything happened..."

 

"I think it'll probably go well, Milphey. As you say, Carrot is strong."

 

"Yes... and I think his bond for Marron'll take him far."

 

Sirius stood up, joining Milphey next to the window.

 

"His bond for Marron?"

 

"The brotherly bond, you know. After all, Marron-chan's so protective of Carrot, and I think that Carrot's the same, even if he shows his affection differently. They both love each other deeply, they'd do anything for each other. Carrot's proving that at this moment."

 

Sirius smiled at Milphey, looking a little bemused.

 

"You make it sound so romantic, Milphey. They're brothers! It's not that kind of love!"

 

Milphey laughed, "Well, alright. But even in a different way, it is quite romantic, isn't it? Two people who'll do anything for each other, who share such a deep love... one is taken horribly from the other, forced into a life they wouldn't otherwise lead, and the other rushes to save them without question... isn't that romantic?"

 

"It'd be more romantic if it wasn't two brothers."

 

Milphey leant both his elbows on the windowsill, and his head on his hands.

 

"Yes, well... love is love is love, you know? There are many different kinds of love, different kinds of affection, different kinds of desires, different kinds of warmth... but in the end, it's all still love, isn't it? Dota loves you, she also loves Big Mama, she loves all of her friends... that's three different kinds of love right there, but it's still love. It's still happiness for being with those people she feels those feelings for, even if they're different feelings and different people..."

 

He smirked, reaching out as if to prod Sirius' face, changing his mind to stroke his finger down Sirius' cheek instead.

 

"... after all... love is love, no matter who gives it."

 

Sirius blushed deeper this time, shifting his head away from Milphey's hand.

 

"A-ah... ye-yes... um... yes... but... mmn."

 

He took a few steps back, "So, ah... you didn't want me to go and find Carrot again?"

 

Milphey turned to face Sirius, "No, not at the moment."

 

"When would you like me to?"

"Well, as I said, in a few days, if he's not back yet... but don't worry about that, if I want to know where he is, I'll find you. You rarely leave Eden after all, I know this place well, it's never too taxing to find you."

 

"You didn't find me today though, did you?"

 

"No, but I didn't know if you'd returned just yet. Besides, I knew you were looking for me, if we kept looking for each other we'd probably end up keeping missing each other. I thought it'd be easier to stay in one place, and let you come to me..."

 

Sirius nodded, "Ah, I see. Well, if I may..."

 

He was edging towards the door. Milphey nodded, "You don't have to be so formal. You go find Dota, I'm sure she's waiting for you."

 

Sirius blushed for a different reason, nodding, relaxed to hear the note of amusement in Milphey's voice.

 

"Yes... I'll see you when I see you, Milphey."

"Yes. Or when I see you."

 

Milphey heard the door open then close again. He turned around, and Sirius was gone. He turned back to face the window, looking out at Facade... such a pretty city... such a pretty place, situated in such a beautiful city. But even so, despite the beauty, he couldn't help but worry about Carrot, about Marron... he thought about going to see the Misu sisters again, or maybe going to visit Gateau and Eclair... he decided against it, though. The Misu sisters would talk about Carrot so much again, not that Milphey minded, but he didn't know how long he could keep his tongue about what he knew, thinking so deeply about it as he was. Gateau and Eclair... Eclair was always happy and sprightly enough, she was always pleasant to see, but Gateau had almost become something quite different, especially since they'd seen Marron last.

 

Milphey supposed it was because of Radish and Marron. Gateau's attraction to Marron was known by just about everyone who knew them... and it had been quite sudden, how Radish had kissed Marron, and everything... not only that, but Radish's kiss had somehow managed to wake Marron up, though Milphey suspected that the kiss was not the only thing that had worked itself on Marron's body in order to make him wake up...

 

Still. If all went well with Carrot's solitary mission to Qerada, there wouldn't be much more to worry about. Milphey didn't doubt that Carrot would at least be able to pull something out of his hat in order to get his brother back. He'd meant it when he'd spoken to Sirius about it; those two brothers shared such a close bond... Milphey smiled slightly as he pushed again at the window, seeing if it was open as far as it'd go; it creaked slightly, but didn't open any further.

 

"Maybe it is weird to talk about it being so romantic... there's a brother's bond, but... a brother's love?"

 

Milphey mused on that thought for a moment or two before wrinkling his nose and smiling to himself as he left the windowsill and started on his way to leave the room.

 

"... That should do it, too."

 

****

 

His breath would be hot as it breathed down upon the exposed flesh. The oppressed might gasp, but the gasp would be ignored. His eyes might flicker shut, but a biting kiss on that skin would force his eyes to open, that name to be expelled from his lips... that name so sinful, that name so wicked, that name so... so wonderful. The name of his brother... the name he should never say in such a circumstance, but theirs was a circumstance that would likely never change, despite its deep difference to most other people... one would never question change, and the other would never wish it. Change would be the thing furthest away, each motion so painfully familiar, so painfully perfect... and he'd be so silent, unless he was being so cruel... but he was never cruel without purpose, even if it was for a selfish purpose. When he spoke about such embarrassing things, it caused trembles, caused bodies to shudder... when he touched with purpose to bring pain, it was always for his own satisfaction... pain was never usually a desired feeling or emotion, but somehow the look on his face was worth it, even if the pain did grow so intense... he never usually went too far with that, though. There was the usual pain, the pain that could be adjusted to, the pain that would go away... sometimes he prolonged that pain, and that was when emotion crashed down around the victim, surrounded like a burning fire that just wouldn't go away... and he enjoyed that even more. To see the person in front of him shaking in such painful emotion, able to only concentrate on that pain... the pain he'd caused... so perhaps he was sadomasochistic. He'd never come out with whips or leather, but why should he bother? Hands, nails, fingers, teeth... they were their own weapons and were used more than adequately by someone who considered himself a master at bringing pain and punishment to others. Only, this pain couldn't be that quick, could it? The pain that came to those on the brink of death... pain touched their bodies and then was gone, their lives would be over, they'd be around no longer to feel anything more, least of all pain. However, this person under those hands... this willing victim... to push him so far was uncalled for, and of course, there was enjoyment to be found in the slow torture. And he'd never want him to die, not really. Especially not by his own hand. Oh, but... pain to one part of the body might be mixed with pleasure to another, a tight grip that didn't bring pain, wrapped around something that brought the sweetest, most pleasurable punishment... when his heart beat in his chest and his lower body froze... the frustration there, perhaps that was also pain, in a way... when he begged for his release, when he begged for more stimuli, when he begged to just be taken... that was also a pain, but it was a glorious pain. To be so completely at somebody's mercy was a powerful feeling, moreso when he knew what that person was like... he wouldn't kill him, he wouldn't injure him to the extreme, but... anything else was up for grabs, and to beg that person for what he really wanted was such a humiliating feeling... but that smirk... stronger than the humiliation, the feeling that smirk brought...

 

To be held down and taken so strongly was such a feeling... to be taken so utterly and completely, to allow himself to be taken like that... he thought and dreamed of that person within him, and when he was, there was nothing else desirable. Only that. Just that feeling. The feeling that made his body pound from the heady arousal that just wouldn't go away... the feeling of his body being pounded by he who caused that arousal...

 

Celery's body jerked under his continual touch. That was too intense a thought.

 

Oh, but to feel that... to be taken... to scream that name... people would say that that was wrong, people would say it was strange, people would say it was disgusting... somehow, that just made it that bit more exciting. Knowing how much such actions would be frowned down upon, knowing that they were doing something so forbidden, and doing it so totally... to be taken, and not to care...

 

Celery froze on his bed as another thought occurred to him; he quickly shook it away. No, that was a forbidden thought. That thought... that feeling... it must never be thought of, he thought to himself.

 

His feelings reverberated throughout his body; he brought his hand up from his erection for a moment, he noticed his fingers were shaking... his breathing came so hurriedly... he fell back onto the bed, against the pillows. His hand wrapped back around, started to stroke again, softly... he gasped as that forbidden image hopped into his mind again, and he craved it so badly...

 

... to be taken, yes...

 

... but to take...

 

Celery's level of feeling was so much so that he didn't care anymore. Those forbidden memories, he'd remember them. Those forbidden times, he'd recall them. The times when the situation was reversed, and when anything that Radish ever did could be mirrored by his own hand, his own touch... when it was he who touched with such intention to hurt, who spoke with such harsh cruelty... when the situation was reversed, that was the most heady pleasure. To give oneself totally was one thing, but to take somebody totally... that was something else. When, for those all too brief times, he'd seen his brother looking... almost scared... when he'd begged Celery for his own release, and Celery had refused, wanting only to prolong his brother's feeling... his gasps, his moans, his cries, his screams...

 

Of course, even that, as with most things, was under Radish's initial control. Despite the occasional feeling, Celery had never actively gone after his brother with a mind to seduce. He allowed Radish to do what he would and he revelled in it, but those times when Radish would come to him in the night with such a wide-eyed stare... when he'd want to be touched, and it forced Celery into taking the upper hand... somehow, he enjoyed it. Only when sexual excitement fuelled him enough to do so, though... hurting his brother, in any other way, would be inexcusable. Those who hurt him in battle would be punished. Speaking to him like that in any other situation would probably earn a confused stare or a stinging slap, and Celery would never dare speak like that anyway. Being coarse was Radish's forte, but of course, one didn't need to revert to such things to be cruel. In any other situation it'd be inexcusable, but in that situation... sometimes, it was quiet punishment for those things he did that were so wrong; the physical pain inflicted onto Radish's body couldn't make up for or bring back those lives lost, but to see him in pain... to see him in such controlled pain, pain that could exist for as long as Celery wanted it to, or for no time at all... if his brother begged to be hurt, then Celery could only obey him, couldn't he? When Radish said he wanted it to hurt, Celery made sure it did. When Radish said he didn't want Celery to hold back, he wouldn't. When Radish said that he wanted Celery to take him brutally, Celery made sure that he did, taking on his brother's mindframe of not seeming to care about he who he was getting pleasure from, only able to concentrate on the pleasure... and somehow that pleasure would echo in the mind of the other, and the feeling of seeing someone else so taken at their expense... Radish and Celery both seemed to find pleasure in that which was taken at their expense, and it was a strong feeling.

 

It wasn't to say that Radish routinely called upon that kind of behaviour. The kind of person he was meant that nine times out of ten, he was the one with the power, he was the one dealing the pain, serving the pleasure... but then there were those times when he wanted to feel... everybody else could die, most people did, but... as long as the two brothers could give themselves to each other like that, then... that was the most important. Celery didn't question or ask about what Radish did to his own body, but when Radish asked him, even if only in a few words, he did it. It was rare, it was infrequent, but it was different in itself, and also brought such perverse joy, so... when they fell back in each other's arms at the end, it didn't matter. Climax had been reached, no matter the route, and they could rest with each other until the next time.

 

And there would always be a next time.

 

Celery let out a shrill cry as his hips jerked their last, and he reached his own peak, falling back down onto his bed, panting in order to attempt to regain breath.

 

Taking a deep breath, he glanced across to the nearest window in the room. It was sunny outside, still. Celery didn't doubt that Radish was outside in the gardens, still. He had been the last time Celery had seen him, anyway. Out there with Marron, of course.

 

Ever since Marron had woken up from his most recent relapse, Radish had seemed eager to prove himself to the young magic user; Celery supposed that maybe his guilt from the time before meeting the Sorcerer Hunters had turned itself into the raging need to do better in future, and if so, he was trying his hardest at that. He seemed to have reverted to his (stranger, to Celery) more innocent self, the Radish who'd run halfway through the mansion at a moment's notice just to get Marron refreshment. The type of Radish who'd do anything to ensure Marron's happiness... that Radish had returned, and how.

 

Quietly cleaning himself, Celery stood up from his bed and walked out of his room; the fact that he was naked crossed his mind for a moment before looking out of the window confirmed that his brother and Marron were outside. He sighed. Just to think, only moments before he'd been thinking such dark thoughts about his brother... and Radish looked so happy, being outside like that... the sun shone high in the sky, and it made the garden look so beautiful. The flowers that bloomed in the garden were at their radiant most beautiful with that bright light, and, from what Celery could see, Radish seemed to be showing Marron around the flower borders, pointing out different kinds... every now and then, Radish would bow to take a deep sniff of the flower he stood in front of, then jump back, pointing happily to it... Marron would smile kindly, then smell the flower himself. And still he'd look happy.

 

Celery tried to fight the feelings of jealous rage that burnt within his body. Radish never took him around the flower borders.

 

Alright, so they were both used to the house, it was one they'd occupied every once in a while for longer than Celery could remember. The flowers grew, bloomed, died, grew again. The neverending cycle. Even so, why couldn't Radish act so nicely with him? If Celery pointed out the flowers, it'd probably cause Radish to grunt in his 'I really do not care' way before he turned his attention to whatever he was doing before...

 

No, but Radish was happy! That was the most important thing. Even if Radish wasn't happy with him, with Celery, he was happy at least, and that, that was the most important thing. The kind of smile on his face while he was with Marron was almost something Celery had never seen before; that genuine, pure happiness... so innocent, almost. Quite beautiful. The way his eyes would shine their gorgeous blue, the way he just seemed to glitter for being with Marron...

 

"... Why can't he be so happy for being with me, though...? ... Otouto..."

 

Celery leant one arm against the window, leaning his head against his wrist. He hated feeling so jealous like that, but... at least there was justification, a reason he could always fall back on for his angry jealousy. The fact that his brother was virtually lost to him was one thing, but the facts behind how that'd come about in the first place were different entirely; by any count, that type of behaviour was unforgivable. There was a reason such kinds of magic were forbidden in the first place... probably, Celery thought, so people like Radish didn't get their greedy little hands on them, use and abuse them how they would... no wonder Parsoners lived in fear, no wonder Big Mama had her Sorcerer Hunters to fight against them... no wonder the world was like it was when Sorcerers like Radish inhabited the world. Celery would have been happy enough with a quiet life, but no, now the Sorcerer Hunters wanted them dead, and Radish was playing with forces he probably couldn't quite understand. Well, okay, Celery thought. Such things would probably cause them both their eventual death, and in such a life, perhaps that would come as some kind of relief. At least in death he wouldn't have to put up with his brother becoming someone totally different with someone else.

 

Celery fancied the idea that he and his brother would perhaps be together in death. Radish was the kind who'd probably get himself killed in a battle he couldn't hope to win, but... Celery liked to think sometimes that, whoever died first, would wait for the other in whatever place waited for such people. The thought of residing in heaven with his brother was a nice one, but given the kind of life Radish followed, Celery doubted highly that, should heaven and hell exist, his brother would be visiting the land of clouds and pearly gates.

 

He smiled strangely as he looked out upon the gardens. Almost wistfully.

 

"... still... even if my brother were to go to hell... I'd follow him there. Someone'd have to take his pain for him while he was there, after all..."

 

Celery pulled momentarily back from the window, wondering quite when his thoughts had become so morbid. Maybe when people died nothing at all happened, and they just stopped existing, like the feeling that could be recalled from the exact centre of a deep sleep; nothing at all. Or maybe the afterlife was some kind of place chosen by the individual... Celery supposed that Radish's heaven would be somewhere with the potential for a lot of death, killing and explosions. Celery's idea of heaven was happiness with his brother by his side, so wherever Radish went, Celery would go too.

 

Glancing out of the window again, Celery wondered if Marron figured in Radish's idea of heaven too. That thought made him scowl; probably.

 

Still... if Radish's ideal place was with Marron, and Celery's ideal place was with Radish, why not? One Radish could go with Marron, and Celery's perfect version of Radish could stay with him. Or maybe they could somehow all co-inhabit, live a life (or afterlife) free of jealousy, worry, or pain... because that Marron would be one created for Radish, and not one that'd been ripped from his previous life for little to no reason whatsoever. If they could all share equally, Celery fancied that he wouldn't mind that too much at all. After all, Marron was pretty, and the occasional thought had flittered across his mind of what it'd be like to be with him... but he didn't feel much that was too deep for the mage other than attraction to his beauty, and, especially when compared with Radish, there were much deeper feelings and attractions than somebody's physical beauty alone. Celery was content to look at Marron but not want to touch; after all, how could any kind of sexual encounter with Marron be as powerful or intense as one with Radish? Could Celery even give himself so helplessly to somebody who wasn't Radish? He doubted that. The only jealousy he felt towards his brother and Marron was that for his brother; it was wonderful to see his brother so happy, but on the other hand... why did it take Marron to bring out happiness within Radish? Celery wondered what it was about Marron that made Radish so happy. Was he not good enough? The selfless older brother who'd literally given himself and everything about himself to his younger brother... that thought was another depressing one. He'd given everything he could to Radish; Radish had Celery's life, to do with as he pleased... Radish had all of that, and it still didn't satisfy him, or make him happy? It'd taken someone else to make him so happy. It was nice to see him so happy, but...

 

"... why can't he be happy with me...?"

 

Celery turned fully to face the gardens once more. The outside table and chairs had been moved in the garden so they were closer to the river, and Radish had found a parasol from somewhere to put up against the table to guard from the sun. Radish was currently sitting underneath the parasol, looking at the river, and Marron was standing beside the table, doing the same.

 

Perhaps the two were talking. Celery wondered what they were talking about... he wondered if it'd be out of place to go and join them... probably.

 

Still the jealous anger bubbled within him, and it annoyed him. He didn't want to feel angry, he didn't want to feel jealous, he wanted to feel happy that his brother was happy, even if the reasons for that happiness were so deadly wrong...

 

Ah, but wasn't the reason for his own happiness wrong also? Happiness at the hands of his brother... as much as brainwashing someone into feelings of love wasn't right, being in love with someone who was your brother, that also wasn't right, surely?

 

Celery steeled himself, it was how they'd always lived, and it couldn't be changed. They could no sooner change their way of life than change their own personality, or somesuch... even though Radish seemed to have managed to do both, that was only because of Marron. On their own, the two wouldn't have been able to change. And it still worried Celery, wondering if that change had been something that Radish had wanted for long...

 

Celery found himself staring at Marron before he could help it. Staring with eyes that glared... wanting to know what it was that brought his brother such happiness... wanting to be able to find that happiness, with his brother... he continued to stare, and before he could stop himself, he employed a little mental manipulation of his own, thanking the gods that he was the brother imbued with stronger magical power, and therefore could bring off such a sudden decrease in the power holding Marron to Radish's side.

 

Outside, Radish and Marron talked happily enough, unaware of Celery's constant stare.

 

"... so I think the trees on the other side of the river... actually, I dunno how long they've been there. Longer than me or oniisama at least, heh. I guess longer than the house, even... I guess they're kinda old."

 

"Ah, I see... well, I suppose even Radish doesn't know everything about around here, hm?"

 

Radish laughed slightly, "No, I suppose not. We travel around a lot, it's almost as if we kinda forgot this place for a while. It's when you come back to it that you remember how beautiful it all is, y'know?"

 

Marron nodded, "Yes, it is... I wish I had some recollection of it. To not be able to remember such a beautiful place seems such a travesty..."

 

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it, okay? You're here now... that's all that matters, isn't it?"

 

"... Yes, you're right. I'm sorry."

 

Radish just smiled brightly, "Don't worry about it."

 

Silence fell between them as they both looked out at the river. As did most places in and around the garden, the river looked beautiful with the sun upon it. Rapids ran white and foaming over rocks that extended out of the water, and the crashing sound of the water upon those rocks could be heard somewhat from the garden up above.

 

Radish's fingers tapped continually against the table, his mind rapidly searching through the archives for possible topics of conversation. When it came to flowers, plants and trees, Radish really didn't know that much. He knew that this was a blue flower and this was a purple flower, and this plant here looked prettier in autumn than it did in spring or summer because of one reason or another, but other than that, Radish didn't really know too much. For his credit though, Marron seemed perfectly happy to listen to Radish as he spoke... and he seemed happy to watch the river as it passed by underneath the two of them... Radish couldn't help but smile warmly to himself. Life was so good at such times. Things from the past could be forgotten, it was the present that mattered, wasn't it? And the present was just so pleasant, after all...

 

Radish sighed happily, then heard a slight gasp from Marron. He turned around to see what'd caused that gasp, and was shocked to see Marron make to grab against the table before falling to his knees, suddenly shaking terribly.

 

Radish was naturally, Celery scowled, by Marron's side.

 

"... Marron! Marron, what's wrong? Do you feel okay? Idiot, obviously he doesn't!..."

 

Celery just watched, speaking in a quiet, soft voice to Marron's mind.

 

"Marron, who is that person? That person next to you... you don't know them, do you? Not really. He says he loves you, but does he really? Who knows. He's not somebody you can love... the person you love... the person you love is Carrot, but Carrot is no longer part of your life, is he...? Oh, Marron... Marron..."

 

"AA- ah... -... Ca... Carrot..."

 

"Marron?! What are you talking about?"

 

"Carrot... Carrot, he's... he's... wh-where is he?"

 

"Marron, calm down! That person isn't important to you, that person doesn't exist for you! Marron, I love you, y-"

 

"YOU'RE LYING!!"

 

Celery allowed a thin smirk to alight his lips as he watched. Marron had pulled away from Radish now, glaring at him with steady mistrust. Perhaps it was cruel to use Marron as a weapon between them, but it was cruel to use him as anything at all. Besides, had Radish started it in the first place.

 

"... the person who... you... you're the person who... who..."

 

"Remember it, Marron... just for this moment, remember it..."

 

"... who... killed niisan..."

 

Radish waved his hands, suddenly on the defensive.

 

"That's not true at all! He's not even dead! A-and he's not even your niisan, because... because that's a lie, isn't it? Fuck... what happened? Why are you suddenly like this?"

 

Radish tried to extend his mind to sway Marron back, but it was impossible, Marron's mind was suddenly on guard, and suddenly talking the hurtful, hateful truth. Radish couldn't do anything to change Marron's mind, and it worried him that he couldn't; even trying to look into Marron's mind brought such sudden mental pain...

 

Celery was somewhat shocked when he saw his brother - his brother! - bring his hands to his face and... cry? Was he crying?... Maybe he felt guilty, maybe he felt helpless, and bitter revenge was suddenly the furthest from Celery's mind; concern grew, and before he could stop himself, he replaced the magic hold on Marron (who proceeded to fall into a dead faint) and reached out for his brother's mind.

 

"Otouto?"

 

He felt Radish's voice in his mind, far from tears.

 

"I should have known you'd have something to do with it, you bastard."

 

"Radish?!"

 

"Marron wouldn't suddenly fall down like that unless something happened, I'm sure. My magic's still as strong as it ever was, but it takes you and me both to be strong, you know that as well as I do, oniisama..."

 

The sharp, bitter way Radish said 'oniisama' made Celery wince.

 

"... therefore... it can only be you. I don't know what you're trying to do... I just don't know."

"Otouto, you were crying!"

 

"Shut the fuck up, that's not your concern! You obviously don't care, if you're gonna act like that... you stay there."

 

"Radish?"

 

And Radish didn't say anything more to Celery's mind.

 

On the lawn, Radish proceeded to tend to Marron, who woke up wondering what'd happened. Radish just attempted a smile and said that maybe the sun had got to him, some kind of sunstroke.

 

"Maybe you should sit underneath the parasol for a little while. It doesn't hurt to stay in the shade. You stay here for a bit, okay? I just need to go do something in the house, I shouldn't be too long, okay?"

 

"Alright."

 

Radish nodded at Marron, smiling a little, then he turned to head into the house.

 

Celery walked away from the window when he saw Radish approach the house, turning to walk back into his room and maybe put some clothes on. He sighed a sigh of resignation; Radish was obviously displeased. He doubted Radish would want Celery to be naked just yet... that could come later.

 

Celery pulled some clothes on, and after a few moments, heard angry footsteps echoing up the staircase. He sat on the end of his bed, his hands in his lap, glancing down at the floor, quiet. He heard the door's handle creak slightly for it's use before it opened, and the door revealed the angry form of his brother.

 

Celery looked up, nonplussed.

 

"Otouto?"

 

"Don't 'otouto?' me, you bastard... what the hell were you doing back there?!"

 

Celery remained calm, even as Radish approached him.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about; I just happened to look out of the window, I saw you crying, and I was concerned! I don't know what you're blaming me for, but- a- aah-"

 

Radish came to a stop a few steps away from his brother, holding up his right hand in a vague clawed motion. Celery found that suddenly he felt restricted, his body felt bound suddenly... was that something Radish had done?

 

Radish just scowled.

 

"I don't believe that for a moment, oniisama... you did something, and I know you can't hide your mind from me... I'm going to look into your mind, oniisama. And if I happen to find anything in there that... displeases me, you will have to be punished..."

 

Celery flushed as he dipped his eyes, feeling his heart's rate increase... oh, but Radish was angry. And he'd be so much more angry when he looked into Celery's mind and saw just what he expected to find... Celery wondered if there was any way at all he could somehow deflect what his brother would see in his mind... deflect it, change it, lie somehow... maybe the fact that he too carried the Farra Kinju within him could balance it out somewhat?

 

"Oniisama... let's see..."

 

Celery fell back onto the bed with a gasp as he felt Radish's voice inside his mind. He couldn't lie to his brother, he wouldn't want to lie to his brother... and if his brother saw something that made him angry, then... well, what'd he done that to Marron for in the first place, if not to spur Radish's emotions? And anger was such an oft-used emotion, after all...

 

"... oniisama..."

 

Radish looked over Celery's mind with little subtlety, but Celery wouldn't attempt to hide any of it. Radish saw Celery's feelings, he saw how Celery had thought, how he'd been thinking, and after a while of silence in the room where Celery didn't even dare move, Radish stepped back.

 

"... I see."

 

Celery still didn't move, "... otouto..."

 

"Oniisama, stand up."

 

"Otouto?"

 

"Just do it."

 

Feeling deliriously unsure, Celery carefully helped himself up from the bed, glancing down at Radish as he eventually stood up. Radish stared at him for a moment or two, pacing around a little, before letting out an angry cry, throwing his fist squarely across his brother's jaw.

 

Celery let out a cry of surprise, thrown backwards by the force of Radish's punch, then feeling the sudden restriction of Radish throwing himself against Celery, pinning him down onto the bed... Celery just looked up with hazy emotion, the side of his face throbbing, but nothing felt broken, so the pain would go away eventually.

 

Celery stared up at Radish with that hazy look, "Otouto..."

 

Radish just looked so angry... that cold, intense stare... the darkness that seemed to pass over Radish's face... he'd punched Celery, and probably wouldn't hesitate to hurt again, but that didn't matter, somehow. Remembering his brother's angry cries that time before... Marron must have somehow earnt Radish's anger, and that was how Radish had acted then, to someone he'd wanted to treat so gently... and Celery was only Radish's brother, anyway. There was no need for gentleness anymore, and Celery relished that fact. Maybe it'd be sudden, maybe Radish would span it out, maybe his body would ache for weeks in the future...

 

"Oniisama... why do you... why do you feel like that?"

 

"O... touto?"

 

"So jealous, it's all over your mind... just anger... pain... jealousy..."

 

Celery just smiled slightly up at Radish, "Can you blame me? Every time I see you with him, it's those emotions..."

 

"Do you hate him?"

 

Celery looked in Radish's eyes, searching, trying to read him, unable to.

 

"Him? No, I don't hate him. He's a lovely boy, Radish... but I hate what you've made him. I hate that you've twisted his mind so terribly. I hate that you're hurting him like that, hate that you're hurting the people who care about him... and I hate what he's made you."

 

"Oniisama?"

 

"Running around this house like his faithful servant... it's adorable that you should react so totally to somebody, but... why him, otouto? After so long, what is it that suddenly I lack? What is it that... that I can't compete with?"

 

Celery reached up, going to stroke against Radish's cheek; Radish just threw his hand down, holding it down by the wrist against the bed. Radish thought for a few moments.

 

"I... I don't know. Besides, why's it so bad that I'm hurting the people who care about him? They're only fucking Sorcerer Hunters, Celery. If we didn't hurt them they'd have us dead anyway. All the people I've killed, what makes those people so different?"

 

"You tried to kill them, and they didn't die..."

 

"Well, that's not my fault."

 

"How do you think this will end if you don't kill them, otouto? For taking their friend and family member away from them, they'll want you punished. They want Marron back, and even if they don't kill you for what you've done, you won't be able to keep him. Even if you do manage to kill those Sorcerer Hunters, more might be sent in their place. Alright, so they won't have the emotional ties that these people have, but... they'll keep coming after you."

 

Radish just scowled, "Then I'll keep killing them!"

 

"Alright, so you'll keep killing them. But what about keeping Marron? The fact that he's a Sorcerer Hunter aside... I'm sure you've noticed this tired feeling as much as I have these past few weeks."

 

"That... that's just probably 'cause we haven't been getting enough sleep! Too many late nights or early mornings or something. What the fuck's that got to do with Marron?"

 

"It's the magic, Radish."

 

A pause.

 

"N-no, you're lying."

 

"I'm not, Radish... I'm not lying, and you know it. Some magic is forbidden for a reason, and some people die for further reasons. The more we exist with Marron like this by our side, the more it takes energy from us. Perhaps it's alright now, but... he's not weak, otouto. If we're tired after a few weeks, what might it be like after a few months? A year? Longer than that? Magic has killed before, and it might just claim us too..."

 

Radish hit at Celery's chest, "Shut the fuck up! You're just all gloomy 'cause I love Marron!"

 

Celery glanced to the side, "How I wish it was only because of that. But if it wasn't I making Marron recall things from his past, it'd be something else. Just something that catches him unaware... and it takes more and more magic each day to suppress those rising urges. His mind cries out for his old memories and we just kick them further down... where they become more determined..."

 

"Onii-... oniisama?" Radish sounded slightly more desperate by this point.

 

"You can't destroy his memories, Radish. You can suppress them, you can hide them, but you can't destroy them. It's like... a village, connected to the rest of the world by a bridge. You can destroy the bridge and deny the people in that village access to the outside world, but the village will still continue to exist and thrive, even if only in it's own self-contained space. And then one day those villagers will become determined, and they'll build a bridge of their own, or find some other way to escape. And once those people escape, they won't be tied to the village, will they? They'll exist outside the village, and they won't be contained... Marron's memories are like that village. For now, they're suppressed... but one day, something or someone will build a bridge... and then what'll you do, my brother?"

 

Radish just stared at Celery. The logic couldn't be knocked, and it made him nervous. Killing all the Sorcerer Hunters who came close... that wouldn't stop them from coming. Keeping Marron under the power of the magic, that wouldn't keep him subdued forever. One day, would his memories and emotions just... explode? One day would he wake up suddenly able to remember everything, able only to recall Radish as someone who'd stolen him away from his precious life at his brother's side?

 

Would Marron kill on that day? ... Almost undoubtedly.

 

Just the thought made Radish nervous, and that nervous feeling took hold in his body as anger. He grabbed Celery's shoulders, shaking them as his jaw tightened.

 

"Sh-shut up, oniisama! That's... that's just... we'll just have to keep being strong, won't we? We'll have to become stronger and be able to keep him under our power, and... if we keep killing the Sorcerer Hunters, then... they can't get us, and... and... I won't be defeated!"

 

Even so, despite his determination, angry tears coursed down Radish's cheeks. Celery sighed deeply, running his finger across Radish's cheek, tears collecting against his finger.

 

"Well... if that's what you believe..."

 

"It's not just that, I don't just believe it, I'm sure of it!"

 

"Well... don't try and isolate yourself, otouto. My power... you need my power as much as I need you. You can't just take my power and live your own life... we're connected too deeply for that. You can't get rid of me, otouto... even if you do want to just live a peaceful life with Marron, the path you've set yourself... you can't live peacefully, I'm afraid. There'll always be trouble and pain, for as long as we're Sorcerers, there will be trouble and pain. I suppose we just have to rise above it."

 

Celery fell back against the bed, watching Radish's bowed head, seeing his tears fall silently, feeling tears of his own in his eyes.

 

"As long as we're together, it'll be alright... right, otouto? As long as we're together, for as long as that is... we have to be careful, we have to be strong, but... as long as we have each other... we'll be alright... won't we?"

 

Radish lay forward, silently leaning down on Celery. Celery softened slightly, wrapping an arm around his brother.

 

"... I think so, anyway."

 

"I hate you, oniisama."

 

"Hmn?"

 

Radish abruptly broke from Celery's hold.

 

"I HATE YOU!! I hate that I have to rely on you so much! You're always so gloomy and fuck... why can't you... why can't we... there isn't just the Spooner Continent, is there? There has to be more out there somewhere, so maybe I could find it and live happily with Marron! But you make it sound like everything it just so hopeless, and I HATE that! You can't even be happy that I wanna be with Marron! I don't feel angry or bitter when I'm with him, when I'm with him, I only want to be happy... and I don't feel that when I'm with you, when I'm with you it just makes me angry! 'As long as we're together', 'as long as we have each other'... can't you just die? If it's causing you so many problems then just die! Then I can be happy with Marron, we'll find some way to work something out even if it's difficult. And if he DOES try and kill me or anything, then, then I'll just have to kill him! Then if I can't have him at least nobody else will, least of all his precious niiiiisan... even if it's just me against the world, then I'll fight the world, and I'll win!"

 

Celery couldn't bring himself to look at Radish anymore.

 

Maybe it was just his anger talking. Maybe. Perhaps.

 

Still, his anger was such a large part of him... and he was talking so easily about Celery just... not existing? With despair, Celery wondered what'd happened to the rough otouto who'd shout angrily then say 'I love you' in the same sentence... the Radish who'd proclaimed that, even with Marron around, they'd still be the most important people to each other...

 

Celery attempted to look up at Radish.

 

"... And wouldn't it be so lonely?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Going against the world on your own... fighting the world... there's always somebody who's better, otouto. There'd be someone powerful enough to kill you, they wouldn't care that they'd killed you, and... if there was nobody else, there'd be nobody else to care that you'd died, either. Is that what you want? Do you really want nobody to care for you, no-one to care if you live or die?"

 

Radish's brow quivered in confusion.

 

"I... I..."

 

He scowled.

 

"I don't fucking know!! F-fuck... if people care it's just more crap I have to deal with! Like you, you care, and you're such a... ugh, you're always so... so jealous and clingy and crap... okay, so I wanna go with different people, with Marron, and that suddenly makes you turn like this on me! Marron cares, or at least seems to, Marron as he is right now cares... but if he... if he went back to what he's NORMALLY like... if he went like that, he'd forget everything we've been through, and he'd just... he'd hate me, oniisama..."

 

"It's so fragile..."

 

"Why do people have to care, anyway? It's only painful."

 

"... I don't know."

 

Radish hit at Celery's shoulder, "I hate that you care for me, you stupid, stupid bastard..."

 

He stared at Celery for a little while, then looked away, climbing off the bed.

 

"... I hate that I want you to care for me, and that makes me a stupider bastard than you."

 

Celery felt slight relief, "So you don't want me to die, then."

 

Radish stood by the door, "I... I dunno. If you died maybe it'd be easier but I think I'd probably miss you, so don't die just yet."

 

He went to open the door. Celery sat up, leaning on the bed.

 

"... I thought you were going to punish me..."

 

Radish glanced over his shoulder, "Me too. But that's what you want, isn't it? How you've been recently and everything... so... maybe it'd be a better punishment if I like... didn't..."

 

"... I see."

 

And Radish left the room.

 

Celery fell back on his bed with a sigh. Radish was always, always so unpredictable... one moment he'd be ranting about Celery's death, then he'd suddenly come out with something randomly touching... Celery closed his eyes. Even further, he didn't know how to react to his little brother. Maybe Radish was changing. Maybe he was becoming something more than the violent pyromaniac Celery'd always known... maybe, in a way, Radish was growing up? Mentally, at least.

 

Celery didn't know.

 

He rubbed his cheek; the places where Radish'd hit him... they hurt, that one the most. Perhaps some healing magic... or maybe the pain should remain for just a little while, so Celery wouldn't forget it. At least Radish had had him pinned to the bed like that, even if it hadn't been in that way...

 

Celery glanced at his bedside cabinet. Next to the oil lamp there, Celery's two daggers with the purple jewels in the hilts lay. He barely used them, and they often lay around Celery's room, unused for so long. With a slight groan from the pain in his chest, Celery sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, perched on the edge. He picked the daggers up and went to put them in one of the drawers, no point in just leaving them out on the side like that.

 

The drawer lay open; Celery had put one dagger beside him on the bed, and was quietly contemplating the other.

 

Their lack of use meant that they were still in pretty good condition; the blades were a little dulled from dust and fingerprints... Celery polished them with the cloth of his bed, they shone a little more. He held it up in front of him, remembering when he'd threatened to use his daggers on Carrot, back during that first meeting. The daggers were sharp, Celery didn't doubt that his threat could have become a grisly reality if he'd pressed just a little harder against Carrot's neck. He ran a finger along the blade's edge, a little too quickly; blood was drawn. Celery shook his finger and sucked on it quickly, it stung...

 

He thought about what Radish had spoken about. About how, if it came to it, he'd rather kill Marron than die himself. He'd rather kill Marron than let anybody else have him. That was admirable if somewhat... well, not even somewhat, it was admirable but twisted, but then again, that was Radish's morals all over.

 

Celery supposed that Radish cared, even if it was only deep down.

 

Even so, it was nice to imagine that perhaps... maybe... maybe he might feel the way about Marron, about him... though that'd be impossible for as long as Marron was around.

 

The blade of the dagger was sharp, and Celery was at least quick enough to use the weapon. He picked it up, walking out of his room and back onto the landing, looking out of the large windows at the scene outside.

 

Radish and Marron were walking in the garden again; Radish seemed quite happy, he was laughing, even... Radish, for whatever reason, had several flowers in his hair, and seemed to be trying to put a few in Marron's own hair. Marron was laughing also, but avoiding Radish's hands... suddenly, Radish jumped up and emptied a handful of flower petals over him, both of them laughing loud enough for it to be audible from Celery's position.

 

Celery smiled bitterly, feeling the same. How sweet.

 

There wasn't any point in trying anything subtle. Playing with Radish's mind... he'd notice. Playing with Marron's mind, he might not notice but Radish would, and that would hardly endear himself to his younger brother. Subtlety wasn't subtle enough, it seemed.

 

Celery glanced again at the dagger, holding it over the flat of his two hands. Subtle didn't work, so maybe being a little less subtle would. Nothing could be done to Radish nor Marron to disturb them, whatever Celery did, they'd notice in one way or another. Oh, but... the blade was sharp and could be used quickly... an accidental cut stung, but a stab deep enough to wound mortally wouldn't. There would be pain, there would be suffering, but that was nothing that he hadn't felt before, and besides... if the wound was mortal, then the pain wouldn't last for too long; eventually death would beckon, and it'd be over.

 

Celery shook himself from his thoughts, genuinely frightened by what he'd been thinking.

 

What had he been thinking?

 

He looked from the dagger in his hands to Radish and Marron laughing outside; he'd been considering...?

 

He wasn't sure, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He quickly walked into his room, placed the two daggers into the drawer, and sighed. Suicidal thoughts? ...Perhaps a walk would clear his mind; Celery doubted that Radish or Marron would notice or particularly care if he went off for just a little while.

 

Celery closed the door to his room, and quietly descended the stairs. He decided to go through the smaller door, he probably wouldn't be noticed if he went that way. Glancing out of the window... no, probably not. For some reason, Celery felt more like being alone for once, and it'd be easier for him to be alone if his brother didn't know where he was. If Radish didn't know where Celery was, then he didn't know to follow him... but if he did know, he probably wouldn't follow anyway...

 

It was a better feeling to be alone through choice rather than have it be enforced.

 

Leaving through the door, neither Marron nor Radish noticed Celery leaving; he nodded to himself, making his way down the gravel track to the side of the house, heading off to nowhere in particular, not knowing how long he'd be gone. For now... the forests beckoned, and then Celery was gone.