Tokyo Babylon Fan Fiction / X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Paradigm Shift ❯ Dancing Towards Destruction ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

The Writing Team of AXQA presents: Paradigm Shift

Axqa_1@yahoo.com

Once again with the disclaimers: We don't own the X and Tokyo Babylon characters in this story. They belong to Clamp. All hail Clamp. We hope the liberties we're taking with their characters will be forgiven.

Chapter 3 - Dancing Towards Destruction

December 24, 1998….

Two months of knowing Seishirou had made Subaru immensely happy--and confused. Happy, because it was nice to know someone normal and nearly perfect could care for someone like him. He was also confused, because Seishirou's attention was unlike anything he'd ever experienced.

It wasn't that Seishirou was trying to kiss him or get him into bed. Seishirou had always been proper with him. It was just every now and then, the vet's amber eyes would burn with something that made Subaru feel off-balance and his blood heat up.

It wasn't lust, though. It couldn't be…

Hokuto thought the whole situation was hysterical. She kept teasing him about weddings and having a new brother-in-law, which usually had him blushing so heavily he felt light-headed. Her teasing, whenever she saw the two together, left him stammering and stuttering, and Seishirou usually would play right along with her. It was enough to make any sane man consider homicide.

That night was Christmas Eve, and Seishirou had invited him to a party at Tokyo Tower. Subaru had no clue how Seishirou had managed to get the tickets, since they were very hot commodities, but it promised to be an interesting experience. He hadn't seen the other man in three days because of his work, and he missed him.

The vet had arranged to pick him up at his apartment. Somehow, Hokuto-chan had found out about the event and Seishirou-san had ended up inviting her along. Now she was at his place with an armful of clothes and a determined look in her eye that made Subaru distinctly suspicious.

Hokuto dressed herself with her usual unique flair. Tonight, she was a fairy. Large sweeping wings all but knocked him sideways as she swept around his home hunting for a particular accessory to match the outfit she had planned for him.

"Um Hokuto-chan, I don't think it's a costume party at Tokyo Tower. Don't you find those wings a little inconvenient?" Subaru asked. He had actually given up trying to question her clothing choices but for tonight, in Seishirou-san's presence and as his guests, Subaru didn't want to be an embarrassment to the man.

Hokuto merely laughed that endearingly uninhibited laugh of hers. "Oh ho ho ho ho ho! Subaru, you're too shy. Don't you see just what I'm dressed as?" At Subaru's head shake, she shook a finger at him. "I'm your fairy godmother! You need someone to help you get your Prince Charming!"

Subaru groaned. He crossed his fingers and toes in hopes that she was not going to dress him up like Cinderella. He wouldn't put it past her to think up some crazy theme outfit and dragoon him into wearing it. Unfortunately, he would let her, since he had never won an argument over clothes with her in his entire life.

"Subaru…" Her green eyes sparkled and she started to back him into a corner. "Are you going to cooperate, or is this going to be done… the hard way?" she said, dropping her voice melodramatically on the last three words.

He paled in fear and held out his arms for the clothes she had brought. "Give them to me," he said, trying not to whimper.

When Seishirou rang the doorbell half an hour later, a set of large green eyes peeked out from behind the shelter of the door chain. "Hello, Sei-chan!" a voice chirped. "Subaru's almost ready. He's still trying to figure out the buckles…"

Seishirou quirked an eyebrow, "Buckles? Can I assume you have something to do with that, Hokuto-chan?" he asked curiously.

She laughed as she undid the chain. "Well, it might be the straps…"

"Straps?" Seishirou echoed.

"Hokuto!" Subaru yelled from the bedroom. "I am NOT WEARING THIS!"

Seishirou blinked. "This I have to see. You've finally designed something Subaru refuses to wear?" Over the past weeks, he had seen Subaru in some outrageous outfits, and if Hokuto had finally pushed him to the edge…

Hokuto flung the door wide to let Seishirou in. "You have to tell him that he looks good!" She demanded.

Seishirou lifted his hands in mock surrender. He stepped into the apartment, lavishly large by Tokyo's overcrowded standards. One thing he had to say for the Sumeragi was they didn't keep their clan head short of funds.

Hokuto closed the door and disappeared through a door that led to Subaru's bedroom. Behind it, he could hear sounds of a minor scuffle. "Subaru-kun, are you all right?" he called through it.

"NO, NO, NO, Hokuto-chan!" Seishirou could hear Subaru's muffled exclamations. Then in reply to Seishirou, Subaru called back, "Please give me a bit more time, Seishirou-san!"

"We're going to be late," he called out gently. "They lock the doors in less than an hour…" The white lie came out easily.

"See?" Hokuto said. "Now you have to go!"

"But…but-"

"Come ON!" Hokuto said, and the bedroom door slammed again. A curious Seishirou watched as Hokuto dragged her brother out. His jaw almost dropped in amazement, and he firmly took his libido in hand, reminding himself to behave.

Subaru was in a strange combination of green leather straps, gold buckles, and white trim around his wrists and green skullcap. The outfit should have looked ridiculous or pornographic, but Hokuto, as usual, kept it on the right side of tasteful--barely. It displayed flashes of Subaru's pale skin, and Seishirou's eyes widened at the low-cut collar that bared Subaru's slim throat. It was the mistletoe that he had dangling from his ears, though, that truly drew Seishirou's attention.

"I didn't know you had your ears pierced, Subaru-kun," he said, trying valiantly to keep from wondering how long it would take to undo all the tiny buckles.

"Hokuto talked me into it when I was seventeen," he said, casting his sister a dirty look. "I usually only wear studs, when I bother wearing earrings at all… but she insisted the mistletoe was important."

"You're perfect, Subaru," Hokuto nagged. "Now let's get going!"

Seishirou had to agree. His young opposite was certainly proving to be a most delicious dish. The dangling mistletoe drew his eye to the smooth perfect curve of his neck constantly. Seishirou was having a hard time trying not to lean forward and taste it.

Subaru allowed himself to be tugged towards the door. He made a final weak protest, "Hokuto-chan, I can't go out like this, it's too cold!"

"Nonsense, the place will be heated. But here, catch!" Hokuto replied, throwing a long snowy white jacket at Seishirou.

Seishirou caught it deftly and swung it out. He mimed the perfect gentleman, helping Subaru slip into it. However, he couldn't resist making a casual swipe down Subaru's back, as if to straighten the cloth. He smiled when he felt Subaru shudder a little in reaction to the touch.

Tokyo Tower was one of the most gorgeous sites in the city, but Subaru was uncomfortable with it. He could feel the Kekkai humming under his feet, and the power throbbed at the back of his mind, waiting. Subaru knew that the final battle was destined to be fought here. That knowledge made him uneasy.

It would be so easy for one of the Dragons of Earth to appear, and begin a battle…

He shivered slightly at the thought. Even though it was over a year to the Final Day, he knew that within a month, the forces of each side would begin to gather, and he, as the Sumeragi, would be one of the first called…

"Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked softly after noticing him shiver. "Are you cold? We're almost to our floor… it should be warmer there."

Subaru smiled at Seishirou and his sister, trying to banish all dark concerns from his mind. "I'll be fine! It's this outfit!" he said, trying to shift the blame onto his sister playfully.

His sister saw the darkness in his eyes, though, and even while she wailed at how cruel he was. He knew she wasn't buying it. It was like that, having a twin. Sometimes Hokuto knew him better then he knew himself.

The party was in full swing when they stepped out of the elevator onto the viewing platform. It was certainly much warmer here. Subaru physically reeled back from the noise and press of human activity, stumbling into Seishirou. "I'm so sorry," he apologized. He never liked being in a crowd.

Seishirou simply held him steady for a moment, before righting him.

Hokuto's sharp eyes noted Subaru's discomfiture but remained determined to make him have a good time. "Subaru," she called gaily, "you have to dance tonight!"

"But... Hokuto-chan! I can't dance!" Subaru protested, and it was the truth. He had never learned how, and the few times he did was only with Hokuto. That primarily consisted of her dragging him around the floor. Subaru knew he wasn't much fun on dates. Most of the time, all he did with the girls that Hokuto forced him to date was take them out for meals. He had never dated anyone twice.

"Maybe it's because you haven't had the right partner," Seishirou said, offering his hand to the other man.

"With-with you?" Subaru stammered. "Bu-but…" he looked around, trying to figure out how to point out that they were both men and that it wouldn't be, well, normal.

"Don't you like me, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked.

"I-" Subaru said, feeling like a trapped mouse. Put that way, he simply had no answer. His inhibitions refused to let him exclaim 'Of course I do!'

"Go ahead! I'll go check our coats and find a table! Look over there- there're some girls dancing together, and in that corner, a few male couples are dancing! You won't be the only same-sex couple out there!" Hokuto said before releasing another of her trademark cackles.

Subaru's eyes widened. He was a little panicked, in part by the thought of dancing in a public place when he didn't know how, and in part by the idea of being held in Seishirou's arms.

No, I just can't!

Emotions in turmoil, he quickly turned around and snatched the coats forcibly from Hokuto's arms, saying "No! I'll check the coats!" before practically running off to the counter. An exasperated "Subaru!" followed in his wake.

Subaru was glad for the moment to gather his wits. Really, he was behaving like a callow teenager. He had to remind himself firmly that he was now a 24-year-old man, and fully capable of taking control of his life; and he was not attracted to Seishirou-san that way. No, no, no, he firmly told himself.

But he could not explain the pang in his heart when he returned to the sight of Seishirou twirling Hokuto about the dance floor. Subaru thought Seishirou looked wonderful smiling down on Hokuto like that. He longed to have the other man smile down on him that way instead of at Hokuto. Subaru couldn't explain the hurt that suddenly lanced through him. Was he jealous? It was a new emotion for him. But was he jealous _for_ Hokuto or _of_ Hokuto?

Ridiculous… he wasn't… that way… he'd always liked girls, hadn't he?

He took a second to reflect on it, and aside from a mild childhood crush on a girl who'd later gone Within, he couldn't recall having strong feelings for anyone romantically. It was as if his heart had been frozen, waiting for someone special. Only Seishirou made him feel alive and dizzy. Only Seishirou made his heart race….

It… no…

He watched Hokuto reach up and pull Seishirou's head down close to whisper something in his ear, and felt a surge of unconflicted emotion.

He was definitely jealous.

Fortunately, for his peace of mind, the music ended and the couple on the floor broke up. Both Hokuto and Seishirou looked up in time to see Subaru trying to edge into as quiet a corner as possible. Hokuto bounced over, her fairy wings swinging wildly behind her. Seishirou followed a discrete distance behind her. Both of them were beaming broadly at Subaru.

"Subaru! That was absolutely fun!" Hokuto called at the top of her voice, earning the puzzled glances of people around them. Most of them ended up taking a second look anyway as she reached Subaru. The twins standing together made a striking pair. They had a certain luminous quality that forced the eye to linger. Of course, their clothes then earned them another glance of startled astonishment.

Subaru cringed a little from the intense looks directed his way. Then one in particular caught his attention. Seishirou's gaze was enigmatic. The older man walked up to him and reached out a hand to take Subaru's gloved one, the sudden warmth making Subaru forget everything else around him.

"Hokuto-chan was telling me she has another appointment this Christmas Eve," Seishirou informed him.

She did? Subaru was confused. He didn't recall her mentioning it before.

She gave him a mischievous grin. "I promised someone we'd take a moonlit walk on the beach… it'll be cold this time of year, but… ah, the things we do for love, ne?" she said, and she spun, the gossamer wings on her back shimmering under the lights.

"Love?" Subaru echoed. He hadn't heard anything about this, and he wondered how far apart he and his sister had grown. Something about the way her smile didn't reach her eyes made him wonder if she was truly happy.

"Ah… it's okay, Subaru! Christmas Eve is an evening for lovers, and as they say, three's a crowd!" she crowed, and before he knew it, she threw a kiss at him, then Seishirou, before vanishing into the elevator.

Subaru blinked at the speed of her disappearance. He turned to Seishirou, wondering briefly what they were supposed to do now.

Seishirou stood for a moment staring after Hokuto before directing his full attention at Subaru. "I hear the view from here is spectacular," he commented.

Subaru leaned a bit to crane his neck at the window but he couldn't see much. The two of them were a little distance from the glass.

"Come, shall we take a look?" Seishirou suggested as he steered him closer to a quiet corner at the edge of the platform.

Subaru was content to stand there silently gazing at the view. Darkness had fallen and the city spread out beneath them, quiet and serene. Subaru contemplated the winking lights spread out like a glittering tapestry below. He knew that each of them represented a person or a family, going about their lives peacefully. This was what he had sworn to protect.

"Tokyo is so beautiful…" he whispered softly, echoing his sentiments aloud.

"You really love this city, don't you?" Seishirou asked, placing his hand against the smooth window as they scanned the early evening skyline together.

Subaru smiled gently. "Yes… I love Tokyo. Kyoto may be my hometown, but I've lived here for about a decade… there's something special about this city…"

Seishirou smiled as well. "I think I know what you mean…"

Something about Seishirou's voice made Subaru tilt his head and look up at the older man. "Do you love Tokyo, Seishirou-san?" he asked softly.

"Love Tokyo? I do," Seishirou answered contemplatively. He paused for a moment. Then he added, "People find a need to love things even when it's not necessarily the best thing for them."

"But if it isn't the best thing for them, then why would they love it?" Subaru asked innocently.

"I think it's because people think that as long as they have love, they will have hope. For without hope, how can life continue?" Seishirou said, his lips curving in a mysterious smile.

Subaru was struck by how astute Seishirou was. "I have hope," Subaru stated.

"I know. It shines from you so brightly I can practically touch it." Seishirou replied. "I bet it serves you well in your work. Spirits cannot injure those who truly are good," he whispered, placing his hand on top of Subaru's.

Subaru turned a bright scarlet. "I-I…." He looked around, wondering why his fair skin had to show off his blush so brightly.

Seishirou laughed. "Do you want to dance?" he offered again.

Subaru found himself nodding, more in reaction to cover up his flustered feelings then from any real desire to dance. A few steps later he staggered to a halt, suddenly realizing what he had just agreed to.

But Seishirou wasn't giving him a chance to back out now. Wrapping an arm around Subaru's waist, and keeping a firm grip on him, he all but swept him onto the dance floor.

Subaru gave a small, terrified squeak, and flushed red in embarrassment. Still, a small, glad feeling wormed into his heart as he discovered he liked being led through the steps of the dance. Seishirou was surprisingly competent and didn't let him stumble.

"See, you can dance," Seishirou said smugly.

Subaru just looked over Seishirou's shoulder deciding that it was, barely, the least evil choice. Seishirou guided him around the floor expertly, and a natural instinct took over. He found it easy to follow the waltz, and when the song shifted into a slow dance, and Seishirou pulled him even closer, he didn't object.

It was as if they had danced hundreds of times together. They could anticipate where the other would go, and Seishirou's hand on his waist was comforting, though thrilling. Unknown to Subaru, eyes followed them, attracted by the stunning pair the two men made.

"You can put your head on my shoulder," Seishirou whispered in his ear. "For slow dances, that's okay," he said softly.

Subaru normally would have been embarrassed by the suggestion, stammering out some kind of excuse, but something about the lighting and the mood had him sleepily nodding agreement. Seishirou wrapped both arms around his waist, and Subaru, who was a good six inches shorter than the other man, laid his head obediently on the vet's left shoulder, feeling the reassuring beat of Seishirou's heart.

Subaru could have remained in this position forever, but he was rudely brought back to awareness of his intimate closeness to Seishirou when another pair of dancers bumped into him. The sly look from the man's female companion brought another bout of blushing from Subaru. The room felt too hot and stifling as he returned to reality.

Confusion forced him to make a convulsive wrench, tearing himself from Seishirou's grip. He dashed off. He had to get away, just for a little while, to sort his thoughts out. A staircase appeared before him, and he nearly ran upwards. He was vaguely aware of Seishirou's footsteps following behind him.

Subaru skidded to a stop. He was at the edge of the special viewing platform of Tokyo Tower. Panting slightly, he leaned against the cool glass, trying to figure out why he had liked dancing so closely with Seishirou.

"Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked softly. "Did I do something to offend you?"

Subaru turned disconcerted green eyes to his date, yes, date, for the evening. He'd been trying to sort out what was going on for so long, and he was getting more and more flustered and off-balance. He was twenty-four years old, and having his entire world-view shifted by one man was not anything he had expected. He was already an onmyouji destined to fight the final battle… did he have to deal with being gay as well?

"I- no- I…" To his horror, tears started to well in his eyes, and he raised a hand to brush them aside.

"Subaru-kun…" Seishirou whispered gently. "How about we talk, okay? I don't want you to be upset."

Subaru nodded unhappily. He wanted to shrink into himself and not have to face the terrifying truth. But Seishirou-san is being so nice...

Seishirou reached out a careful hand and led him towards a small bench on the darkened viewing platform. There was no one else around. He settled down beside him. Then as if he was a precious piece of fragile glass, Seishirou said, "You know, I really like you."

The declaration brought a flush of elation to Subaru. What was he supposed to do now? He knew if he confessed to a similar liking, there would be no going back for him. Still… he was already at the point of no return. Taking a deep breath, he plunged forward recklessly. "I think I like you too, Seishirou-san." Subaru was so embarrassed that he turned his head away, not wanting to see Seishirou's reaction.

"Subaru, have you ever-- liked anyone before? Romantically?" Seishirou asked delicately.

"I…." He almost mentioned the girl in grade school, but realized that was not what Seishirou wanted to know. "No. No…" He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, feeling the burn of tears that threatened to fall.

"It's hard, choosing to like another man. Society doesn't approve of it, but, if you truly love that other person, it's worth it. Gender shouldn't matter. Subaru-kun, I like you. I believe, if you gave me the chance, I could love you… you're beautiful and charming, and I find you fascinating-- but you have to give me that chance. You have to decide to take that leap of faith. I won't promise you that there won't be a fall, but I can promise I'll try to catch you," Seishirou whispered gently.

Subaru opened his eyes to meet the earnest amber gaze that was studying him. He had a decision to make. Still, as he looked into the other man's face, he realized that the decision had been made long ago. "When I was little, kids used to tease me, claiming I would make a beautiful bride, because I looked so much like a girl. It's so irritating to prove them right…" Subaru murmured, reaching out to touch Seishirou's cheek with his right hand.

"Why do you care so much about what other people think? Just be true to yourself," Seishirou said.

Subaru couldn't help but think Seishirou's attitude was so sensible. He wished he could see things that way. He had always been easily affected by what people said. He remembered being devastated when his childhood friend had told him that she thought he was not normal. Now he had to accept that he really was not normal. "All I ever wanted was to be normal," he said miserably.

"Oh, Subaru, don't wish that. You should be happy to be unique. You are not normal; you're gloriously, delightfully special to me," Seishirou declared.

Subaru gasped at the sincerity in the man's voice. It was nice to be special to someone.

"May I?" Seishirou asked leaning closer.

Subaru nodded his consent shyly.

Seishirou placed his hands on Subaru's shoulders and brushed a light kiss over his lips. Subaru, though, turned scarlet at even that contact.

Seishirou pulled back and stared at the slightly surprised green eyes before leaning back in. "It's not so bad, is it?"

Subaru sighed and wrapped his arms around Seishirou's waist and Seishirou gave him a slightly longer, though just as chaste, kiss.

Seishirou straightened and held out a hand. "Come. I shall see you home."

Subaru smiled shyly and took his hand. He felt lightheaded all the way back to his apartment. He couldn't help gloating a little. His first kiss! There was no way he was going to tell Hokuto about it. No, no, he would never hear the end of it from her.

Safely inside his home, Subaru walked over to his window and brushed the curtain aside. Far below, he could see the dark figure of Seishirou. He had paused to light a cigarette. Subaru shook his head a little fondly at the habit. He knew it was bad and had told him so. Hence, Seishirou was always careful not to smoke around him. Looking out at the vista of lights, Subaru was reminded of their conversation at Tokyo Tower. Softly he whispered his reply, "Yes, I do love Tokyo; because this is where I met you, Seishirou-san."

Down below, the Sakurazukamori stood. He flicked the ash from the end of his cigarette and smiled a small satisfied smile. This pursuit of Subaru was proving to be a most interesting game. "You asked if I love Tokyo, Subaru-kun," he murmured to himself thoughtfully. "I do, because this is the only city on this earth that can enjoy itself as it walks the path to destruction."

~~~~~

Notes:

Xandra: It's really hard to express the same amount of feeling in using the English word "like" verses using the Japanese word "suki". People use the word "love" a lot more easily in the west. But right now at this stage, Subaru and Seishirou are probably using the word "suki". Also here's me laughing evilly because we're not going to tell you if Seishirou is being sincere or lying through his teeth to Subaru in this chapter. You'll just have to keep reading to find out. But yes, we're rushing things along a bit here because 1999 is coming! Kamui will make an appearance and complications will arise as the fight for the fate of the world begins. As for Christmas, we believe Christmas Eve is a big date night for couples in Japan. Hence it makes sense for there to be a big party at Tokyo Tower. Oh yes, Subaru's outfit in this chapter is my favourite. But I have no idea where the inspiration for Subaru's pierced ears come from *points at Aishuu*

Aishuu: Christmas is for lovers in Japan; it's a night you spend with a date, rather than family. Pierced ears have traditionally been a thing to signify homosexuality in America- it's only in the last few decades that's changed; good thing, I think its sexy, since ear are one of the erogenous zones. As for where this is heading… well, the new year is about to begin… which means it's 1999….

Both of us: many thanks to KrystalRose for beta-ing.

Coming up... Subaru's duty and destiny are brought home to him, plus Kanoe tries to recruit the Sakurazukamori. Will fate force the two to clash?