Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Asturia: Love and Duty ❯ ch 7 ( Chapter 7 )

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[soundtrack 2, track 17, If You]

The Caprice bobbed gently in the water. Allen lowered his eyes, unable to meet Eries' gaze. Her words had brought up a past he was not necessarily proud of.

Eries continued, choosing her words carefully. "I did not realize that Sid was your son until I visited Marlene with Millerna. Sid was 2 at the time. The moment I laid eyes on him, I knew. It came as a bit of a shock for me. I didn't think it was a possibility that Mahad would continue having Marlene as his wife, let alone loving her, if he both knew about your relationship with her and it was apparent that Sid was not his. I simply assumed Sid had to be his. I was wrong about that. Just as I was wrong about Mahad's capacity for forgiveness. He loved Marlene more than she imagined possible, and his forgiveness set her free. When I confronted Marlene privately about Sid, she didn't deny the fact. But, as far as she was concerned, she, Mahad, and Sid were a family, and she wanted nothing to get in the way of that. I had to respect her wishes."

"As do I." Allen raised his eyes to meet hers. The mischief of a few minutes earlier was replaced by thoughtfulness.

"Duke Freid, he was a much better man than me. He loved Marlene and Sid even when it would have been completely in his power to cast her aside and publicly disgrace her. Compared to that, my behavior was childish."

"When we were together, Marlene promised me that she would love me and me alone.She would be another man's wife, but her heart would always be mine. And I pledged likewise. There would be no other woman for me but her until the day I died."

"When I read her letter, it felt worse than betrayal.There is a fine line between love and hate. All I could think about was how to hurt her as badly as I had been. That's why I did what I did. Deliberately building up a reputation so famous (or infamous) so that even Marlene in Freid would know what I thought of her and her decision. I didn't care who I hurt or used. Unfortunately for everyone involved, it was easy. Almost frighteningly easy."

"It was truly humiliating when I met Sid, and realized he probably was my son and what it must have taken for Marlene to ask the Duke to accept him as his.Not only that, but Marlene could have chosen to shield Sid from any knowledge of me. According to Sid, she told him stories about me often and always spoke well of me, never an ill-word."

"And meanwhile, I was transferring posts as often as possible, toying with as many hearts as possible."

"It wasn't until the news of Marlene's death reached me that I finally came to my senses. Realized how much damage I had done. Realized what a fool I had been. The first lesson I learned from my master, Vargas, was not about the sword, but about learning to control myself here," he said, tapping over his heart. "And I had done failed miserably in that respect. I had spent those years doing everyone a disservice. Including you, Princess. I hope you can forgive my inexcusable behavior in the past."

Eries nodded. She was at a loss for words. It was one thing for courtiers to speculate and gossip about Allen's inexplicable actions and behavior. It was quite another to hear the reasons from Allen himself. She was starting to feel rather like a confessor of some sort.

Allen continued. "Volunteering to stay as long as I did at Fort Castello probably seemed like madness to most, but it was the best thing for me. The swamps were a constant reminder of my lessons with Vargas. And the isolation gave me a chance to reflect on myself and my actions."

"When I returned to Palas and told you that I would never love again, I honestly believed that. I felt as if everyone I loved would eventually leave me. As if I were cursed that way. So why bother trying."

"I never imagined that things would turn out the way they did after leaving Fort Castello. You were right about Millerna--I was just seeing Marlene in her. And Hitomi--I cared about her then as I do now, but, looking back, it was not so much love as it was wanting to protect her, the way that I hoped someone out there was looking out for Serena."

"But , after all is said and done, I'm alone again."

He turned and looked at the city shining by the waters. "Sometimes it seems as if all I really have, the only thing that lasts, is Asturia and my duty to her as knight."

He started. Eries had leaned forward and placed her hand over his.

"I know exactly how you feel."

--- ---

[soundtrack 2,track 12, medicine eater]

Allen stood in his garden . It was an unusually warm evening and he was dressed in a loose linen shirt, only buttoned about halfway, calf-length tan knickers, and sandals. The air was heavy with the scent of flowers.

He was admiring the colors of the twilight sky when he heard footsteps.

"Nell? Did you forget something?" he said, turning around.

Allen stared.

It was Princess Eries.

For reasons of her own, Eries always dressed modestly, whether formal or informal, at work or ease, in public or in disguise.

Which was why her current dress was such a surprise to Allen. Her flawless, creamy skin, usually hidden by high collars, sleeves, and gloves was laid bare by her decollete, sleeveless dress. The light green silky material of her dress clung to the graceful curves of her body. Her blond tresses floated behind her as she walked languidly, barefoot, towards Allen. She looked like a goddess of spring.

She was breathtaking.

Allen could not take his eyes off her. She stopped about a handsbreadth in front of Allen. Looking into his astonished eyes, she smiled playfully.

"P-princess," he stammered.

Eries raised a finger and gently pressed it to his lips for silence. She then slid her hand up to cradle Allen's cheek, and down again, tracing his jaw line. Her touch with gentle but it also set Allen's blood on fire. Eries took Allen's hand in her own and cupped it against her cheek. Her eyes sparkled alluringly as she guided his hand to caress her face slowly, sensuously. Allen was shocked. This was unseemly behavior. But yet, it felt so right. He couldn't help himself...

Allen drew Eries against him. She nuzzled against his bare chest. The softness of her body molded against the firmness of his.

She was so close...he inhaled the lavender scent of her hair. Of their own accord, his hands ran down the blonde strands, explored the sensitive skin of her neck, traced down her back to the curve of her hips.

The heat, the pressure, the softness of her body pressed against his kindled a yearning from the depths of his being.

"Eries..."he breathed.

Her body quivered at the sound of her name. She lifted her eyes to him. The desire in her eyes mirrored that which was burning within him.

He gently tilted her face up. Dreamily, she closed her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips warm and inviting. Allen leaned over and--

"Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!" [End music]

Allen's eyes flew open to find himself in the sloppy kisses of a bear-dog. It was daybreak and Oski had decided it was high time his master was up and about.

By force of habit, Allen swung out of bed, went down the stairs, and opened the door to let Oski out into the garden. As Oski sniffed and explored and went about his bear-dog business, Allen simply stood on the lawn. His mind was not yet awake and his body only partially so. He was barely aware of anything other than the dream he had just had.

Had it been a dream? It had seemed so real. Even now, he was standing in the spot where she had approached him. His face burned where her hand had lingered. Despite the cool morning air and the fact that he was only clad in his nightshirt, his body was flushed. His consciousness lingered in the afterglow of the dream. The softness of her skin. The silkiness and smell of her hair. The welcoming look in her eyes. His body ached for the touch of her body against his....

This was getting out of hand.

A small voice in the back of Allen's mind was fairly screaming at him to snap out of it, but the aftereffects of the dream were like a drug.

In his daze, Allen noticed a watering can that Nell had left on the low stone wall that separated the lawn from the herb garden. He walked over to it. It was partially full of water.

Unceremoniously, Allen dumped the contents of the watering can over his head.

He gasped as the shock of cold water jolted him back into reality. What was he thinking? It was inappropriate, improper, indecent for him to dwell on those thoughts. Even to have such a dream bordered on inexcusable. What was the matter with him?

The answer hit him like a thunderbolt.

He loved her.

He sank down to his knees and flopped backwards onto the grass. "I love Princess Eries," he said in disbelief.

Love. A single word that can convey so many meanings. Allen used the word to describe his feelings for a number of people over the span of his 25 years. But he had never felt this way about anyone before, even his previous romantic interests.

His emotions for Princess Marlene were probably better termed an intense infatuation that had blazed out of control. Princess Millerna had rekindled memories of those feelings;what he had thought might be love for her was more like echoes of his feelings for Marlene than anything solely attributable to Millerna. Hitomi had been lovely, foreign, and so lost. The moment he saw her, all he wanted to do was protect her. He mistook the fraternal emotions she stirred in him for love, so much so that he had even proposed to her.

But with Eries, it was completely different. His feelings were--deeper somehow. Their relationship had never been complicated before by romance or physical attraction, as Allen's relationships with Hitomi, Millerna, and so many others had been. She knew his secrets, and vice versa. It was nearly impossible for them to be anything but honest with each other. His brow knitted as he tried to figure out how he could have fallen in love with his best friend.

The first time they met, he was too distraught by Serena's disappearance for Eries to make much of an impression. But what he did remember clearly was that she was kind and sympathetic.

The second time their paths crossed was when Allen was assigned duty at the castle at Palas. He had been a love-struck teenager then, dazzled by Marlene's beauty, basking in the sweetness of their secret love. In his mind, Eries was just Marlene's awkward younger sister. As a member of the royal family, Eries was one of Allen's responsibilities, but nothing more than that. He had been seriously concerned about the repercussions of Eries stumbling upon their love affair. However, he swiftly learned how protective Eries was towards those she loved, and the lengths she would go for them. When Allen left Palas, he regarded Eries as an annoying reminder of Marlene's betrayal. However, once he was able to come to terms with his ill-fated first love and resolve his wounded feelings, he viewed Eries instead with an attitude of respect. At first, it was solely due to the fact that she was a member of the royal family. However, that respect deepened as it became apparent that she was a woman of integrity, responsibility, and dedication. The fact that she played such an active role in managing Asturia's affairs when she was not heir to the throne was rather remarkable in itself. She was a monarch Allen was proud to serve.

After the fall of Fort Castello brought Allen back to Palas, his relationship with Eries was strained once again. This time Millerna complicated matters. The protective streak in Eries' nature came out. Eries alternately treated Allen with something akin to pity and hostility, and Allen viewed Eries in the context of a protective, and somewhat domineering, older sister.

After the war, Eries pitched in to help Allen with Serena's recovery. It was the first time that they were able to work together on something of such a personal nature since they were 11. Allen discovered what a gentle and caring person Eries was, and both discovered that they did have quite a bit in common. Their relationship warmed into friendship and that friendship had deepened now over the last two years such that Allen now considered Eries his best friend and confidant.

[Soundtrack 3, track 2,Arcadia]

And then yesterday, Allen realized something that he had never ever noticed before about Eries.

She was beautiful.

He had donned her cloak and looked up to ask her if she had had enough entertainment at his expense. But the words died on his lips. He had been startled by the sight before him. It was like seeing her for the very first time.

Against the backdrop of sea, wind, and sky was a vision of overwhelming loveliness. This creature with the sparkling eyes, the rosy flush of merriment on her cheeks, the graceful form of a goddess--could that possibly be his friend Eries?

How could he have been so blind?

Allen groaned audibly and smacked his palm on his forehead. Oski, noticing his master soaked and supine on the lawn, loped to his side and snuffled anxiously.

"It's OK," said Allen, patting the bear-dog comfortingly. "Your master just lost his heart without knowing it. That's all."

Oski gave a reassured woof and rambled off to play again. As Allen watched him trotting off to the herb garden, the blue flowers that trailed up the arched gateway caught his eye.

He stood up and walked over to the flowers that Serena and Nell had trained to grow up the stone and wooden framework. Plucking one of the flowers, he studied it closely. The flower was tiny, smaller than his thumbnail. The flowers grew in dispersed sprays so that when they were in bloom, the archway looked like it was covered in a soft green and blue cloud. Serena used to use them in flower arrangements as filler, to better highlight larger, showier flowers. What had she said they were called? Small-wishes, that was it. The color matched the blue of Eries' eyes exactly.

It was the perfect metaphor for her.

While her sisters were like showcase lilies that took up the spotlight, Eries was there in the background. She had always been there with her own soft, quiet beauty. As such, she had been overlooked by everyone, including Allen.

Allen's hand closed over the flower. Great. Now that he had had this wonderful personal revelation, there was nothing he could do about it. There was no way he could share this with anyone, least of all Eries.

She was the Crown Princess after all. Considering the recent past of the Schezar family and fortune, no one in their right mind would consider him a candidate to woo the Princess.

Worse than that, if Princess Eries ever learned about his feelings for her, it would likely jeopardize their friendship. The fact that she was on such good terms with him now was remarkable in itself. If she ever found out, she would probably end things between them. Knowing all she knew about him, she probably would label him a slut with a complex (Oh, so you're finally out to seduce the last of the Aston sisters).

It was best to try and forget about it. Pretend the feelings don't exist and maybe they would eventually go away, reasoned Allen. The last thing he wanted was to lose her respect and friendship.

A breeze picked up. Allen opened his hand and let the wind carry the small-wish away. "But, still..." he thought wistfully, as he watched the bright blue blossom tumble through the air and out of sight.

The recollection of the way her eyes had been so inviting in his dream returned to haunt him. He could feel a delicious warmth spreading through him as his body reacted to the image in his mind.

Allen swiftly went in search of another bucket of water.

==== ==== ========

Things were starting to get ridiculous. Despite Allen's efforts to will himself not to, his dreams about Eries returned regularly each night and grew increasingly torrid. Not only that, but he would lapse into daydreams during his waking hours, and it was starting to affect his performance. Luckily for Allen, he never lost concentration while sparring. However, he had been slow to react when a cadet had stumbled taking his first steps in a melef. If it had not been for Kevin, some part of Allen's anatomy would have been crushed for sure. This was unusual for Allen, who let very little escape his attention and could usually anticipate such things. The concern upon Kevin's face had been plain to see. Allen could tell that he didn't quite believe him when he told him that there was nothing wrong and that he had simply been distracted momentarily.

Although Allen was no stranger to the realm of romance, he had never been so flustered. This was the first time that he was not the object of his love interest's pursuit. He fervently hoped he would have things under control before he had to meet with Eries next. Despite Allen's best efforts, he was wretchedly unsuccessful.

Five days after their outing, Allen's attendance was required at a high-level military meeting at the palace. The purpose was to present a status report of the military installations that had been or were in the process of being rebuilt after the Great War. Where Asturia's resources should be concentrated next was also to be determined. As such, attendance was mandatory for the Knights Caeli, Asturia's generals, and, representing the Crown, Princess Eries.

While Princess Eries, with her assistant Captain August, was wholly absorbed in the material presented and took an active part in the discussions, Allen registered almost none of the information. It was fortunate for him that his opinion was not necessarily demanded during the meeting. His energies were being expended in trying to draw his attention away from Princess Eries while trying to act as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

"Get a grip, Schezar," he mentally rebuked himself after tearing his gaze away from the Princess and onto the blank tablet he had brought to take notes upon. "You're a 25-year-old mature man, not a puppy-love-stricken teenager."

Things were definitely not good.

Allen breathed a sigh of relief when the meeting adjourned. He was ready to flee like a bat out of Hades, when August approached Allen and informed him that the Princess wished to meet with him privately. The Princess had something to attend to following the meeting, but she should be finished in a few minutes. Would Allen be so kind as to await her in her study?

Allen's brain could not think of a plausible reason to excuse himself without drawing attention to himself. So he meekly agreed. August escorted Allen to the study, let him in, and left, leaving Allen alone with his thoughts. What could she possibly want? Allen tortured himself for the next few minutes trying to guess the reason behind the summons.

After what seemed like an eternity, Eries rushed into the room with papers in her arms. Allen jumped his feet.

"Hello Allen," she said breathlessly. "I apologize for keeping you waiting."

"No trouble at all." [I would wait for you forever.]

"It took awhile for me to get away from General Nathan," she said, putting her maps and reports aside. She casually perched on the edge of her desk. "That man will talk your ear off if you let--Allen, are you all right?" She looked at him with concern.

Allen could have punched himself. "No, I'm fine," he replied quickly.

"Are you sure? You don't look very well. And you seemed somewhat distracted at the meeting earlier."

[Not good--she's noticed] "I just haven't been sleeping very well lately, that's all."

That answer seemed to placate her. Before she could question him further, Allen swiftly changed the subject. "So what did you want to see me about?"

"Yes, right." Eries' demeanor turned somber. She got up and walked, her hands clasped behind her back, to one of the room's high windows. Looking up at the sky she said, "Millerna would have been 19 next week."

"Oh."

In Asturia, when someone passed away, mourning was observed by family, friends, and colleagues . In addition to the funeral, a custom called Remembrance was observed on what would have been the next birthday of the deceased. Remembrance was to commemorate the life of the deceased. In most cases it resembled a smaller version of the funeral.

However, Remembrances were strictly observed only by family members. Allen was somewhat puzzled by the fact that Eries was discussing this with him.

"Father, he won't be taking part in Millerna's Remembrance. Attending her funeral was a strain, and the doctors are concerned about potential setbacks in his condition."

"However, I've written to Sid, and received his reply today. He will be here next week."

She turned her head to look directly at Allen. Allen's heart thumped wildly and he thought he might drown in her gaze.

"I would like for this to be a private affair with as few people as possible. It is a Remembrance after all. But considering the individuals involved are the Crown Princess of Asturia and the nine-year-old Duke of Freid, security will be an issue. Sid's head guard will be reluctant to let me take him without an escort of at least five armed guards."

"However, if I was to provide a single guard of the caliber of , say, a Knight Caeli, I might be able to convince him otherwise."

Several emotions hit Allen at once. He was honored that she trusted his skills and friendship enough to ask him. Touched that she was providing him with an opportunity to see Sid. And scared and excited at the prospect of being alone with the woman he was falling in love with and the son whom always seemed to be beyond his reach.

"So would you be willing to be our escort?"

"Of course. It would be an honor and a pleasure." [More than you can ever imagine, Princess Eries.]

== ==

OK, OK, we know what Allen, Sid, and all of you are thinking out there, and you're wrong. Eries has something planned and the next chapter actually is going to be a lighthearted one.

Hopefully we will have it out for you by next month. Thanks!