Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Asturia: Love and Duty ❯ ch 9 ( Chapter 9 )

At length, Eries gave up the good fight and hauled herself out of the water. Allen and Sid continued a bit longer but shortly followed suit.

As they wrung the excess water out from their clothes, Eries suggested they head over to the guest house where a lunch and a change of clothes was waiting for them. Though, she commented wryly, she had been anticipating them damaging or soiling their clothes, not getting completely soaked--

Stopping in midsentence, she tapped Allen's shoulder and pointed. Both of them smiled. Excitement over, the exhausted boy had flopped onto his back in the grass and was fast asleep. Eries moved quietly over to kneel beside Sid. She was about to pick him up, when she looked at Allen. For a moment, Allen felt transparent, as if she were looking into his very soul. She gestured: would Allen like to carry Sid? Allen's heart leapt. Yes!!! He nodded.

As Eries went to gather Sid's clothing and some of the fruit, Allen moved to his son's side. Gently, he picked Sid up. Sid stirred a little but remained asleep. Allen peered down at his face tenderly. The expression Allen wore was one normally reserved for parents holding their newborn for the first time. Then again, it was the first time…

The walk to the house took a few minutes, and they passed all too quickly for Allen. Still, he treasured those moments holding his son's warm slumbering weight, and burned them into his memory.

Most of the rooms within the house were in storage: furniture covered with protective cloths and curtains drawn tightly over the high windows. However, a breakfast nook and adjacent kitchen apparently had been cleaned, aired, and prepared for their arrival. The table was already set for three, and a basket of food sat in the kitchen.

Eries led Allen up a flight of stairs. At the landing at the top of the stairs was a sitting area. Spring sunshine shone in through the windows on the wall opposite the stairway. Two bedrooms opened into the sitting area, one on either side of the stairs. The bedrooms and sitting area had also been prepared for their arrival.

Allen followed Eries into one of the rooms. After he had laid the sleeping boy gently on the bed, Eries handed a bundle of fresh clothes into Allen's arms and indicated that he change in the other room. He swiftly did as he was told, hanging his wet garments by the open windows to dry.

He returned to the other room where Eries had just finished changing Sid's clothes and was tucking him in under the sheets. Seeing Allen already dressed, she grabbed another bundle and left to the vacated bedroom to change as well.

Allen remained where he was in the doorway . He was completely captivated by Sid so peacefully asleep.

A tendril of gloominess began to worm its way into his thoughts. Allen quashed it almost instantly. No, he thought firmly to himself. He was not going to dwell on his past regrets or on what his future would be denied. To do so would taint this precious moment he had been graced with.

Stay in the moment.

And he did. For the next few minutes, there was no past, no future, only the present. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered.

A soft thud drew Allen's attention. He turned to see Eries settling onto one of the sofas of the sitting area. Her hair was pulled over one shoulder. The events of the morning had done an impressive job of snarling her hair. She grimaced as she attempted to work out the tangles with her fingers. "A comb is definitely in order." Sighing she gave up. "So Allen," she said, looking up at him, "when your hair was as long as mine, how did you manage to keep it so immaculate as you went traipsing all over Gaia?"

"Caeli secret. If I told you, I'd be drawn and quartered."

"Oh, you're no help." Eries pouted, but Allen could see a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

She was about to resume the task of smoothing out her hair when Allen spoke. "Princess?"

"Yes?"

"Princess, I should apologize for my behavior earlier."

Eries looked at him blankly.

"Splashing you. It was unbecoming for someone in my position. I acted rudely and immaturely and--"

Eries waved her hand, cutting him off. "Allen, if anything, I should be thanking you. For catching me." The previous awkwardness returned as both of them remembered Eries being in Allen's arms. "Not to mention," she continued quickly, "it's not as if I was being completely mature either. Climbing trees and throwing fruit at you and all. Besides, Sid thoroughly enjoyed it," she said, looking over his shoulder to where Sid slept.

"Yes he did." Following her lead, Allen turned to look at Sid as well. They fell silent, both relishing the fact that Sid had, for the last few hours, been able to behave as carefree as any other child his age.

It was time precious for Sid and precious for Allen as well. Despite the circumstances, it felt so--perfect. Allen doubted that Eries fully understood the magnitude of her kindness to him. He felt his heart overflow with gratitude towards this woman who knew him so well, whom he trusted so completely, and who had amazed him on more than one occasion with the depth of her friendship.

He turned to tell her, thank her. "Princess?"

She was asleep.

Allen tiptoed closer for a better look. Definitely asleep. Before his logical side could stop him, he found himself settling on to the sofa next to her. The depression made by his weight on the cushions caused Eries' body to slide slightly in his direction. The motion caused Eries to shift in her sleep and--

Oh...oh.

Wide-eyed, Allen watched as Eries settled herself more comfortably... onto his shoulder.

He froze. Allen's mind when completely blank. For a full minute, he simply stared at her. His brain could not quite register the fact that it was Eries snuggled up against him. He started to feel a little dizzy.

Allen reminded himself to breathe. Several breaths later, his head started to clear. "Idiot," he thought to himself, "she's ASLEEP. She is no idea what she's doing so this means nothing. "

"But there's no reason why I should waste this opportunity..."

Allen relaxed. This was not he had anticipated, but he was not going to pass up the chance to admire Eries close up.

She was indeed lovely. He marveled at how serene and relaxed she looked as she slept. And then he noticed something else.

She snored.

It was not a loud one, but it was definitely a snore. Rather like the steady purr of a cat. Allen found himself feeling rather giddy with all the idiosyncrasies he had discovered about Eries recently. "So," he thought, as he stifled a giggle, "the Crown Princess Eries Aria Aston, who is an admirable monarch in every way, cannot hold a tune, climbs trees like squirrel, has no throwing abilities whatsoever, AND she snores."

Actually, he found her snores rather adorable. Especially when compared to the racket made by Vargas, the men of Fort Castello, and, of all people, Serena. Serena had generated a surprising volume of noise for such a petite woman. Sometimes, at night, Allen would hear her through the walls separating their rooms and fancy that someone was sawing wood next door. He used to tease her by saying that she was louder asleep than awake.

Serena. Allen sighed. If there was anyone he would have entrusted with the knowledge of his feelings for Eries, it would have been her. Even if the primary reason was that he doubted he could have kept it a secret from her for very long.

Gently, so as not to wake her, Allen picked up a lock of Eries' hair and began to slowly work out the knots. "Serena," he thought, "I--I wish you were here. I could use your advice right now. Desperately."

In a few moments, he had the strands in his fingers smoothed out. He savored the feel of her hair on his fingers before he let go.

"Stay in the moment," he reminded himself. He reached for another tangled lock.

0=0=0=0=0=0=0=0=0=0

A sudden movement woke Eries. Her eyes still closed, she heard Allen's voice. "Duke Sid? Sid? Are you all right?"

Instantly Eries was awake. Her eyes snapped open, and she was on her feet, hurrying into Sid's bedroom.

Sid was sitting, hunched over at the edge of the bed. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest. He was breathing in a peculiar wheezing gasping sort of manner, which Eries guessed had alarmed Allen and which certainly alarmed her. Asthma attack and anaphylactic shock immediately flashed in her mind.

Allen was already hovering over Sid. Eries could see he was forcing himself to be calm as he gently asked Sid where it hurt and how bad the pain was. Allen reached out to better examine Sid when he gave no response.

Sid batted Allen's hand away, startling both Allen and Eries. "Go 'way." Sid's voice was strained. The two words were sharp with frustration and anger. Sid paid no heed to Allen's reaction, but as Allen quickly drew back, Eries could see that Allen had been deeply hurt. Allen looked up at Eries with a slightly panicked look in his eyes. He didn't know what to do.

With a "let me try to take care of this" look, Eries indicated for Allen to move away from Sid. Allen quickly obliged, blending into the background to let Eries take over.

Eries kneeled before Sid. Sid's head was down. She angled herself to look into his face. "Sid? Sid?" she said gently.

"Can't you just leave me alone!" Sid choked. He turned away from her, but not before she saw Sid's eyes, bright with unshed tears.

Eries could have kicked herself. She should have anticipated this. Between Hitomi, Merle, and Millerna, Eries had pieced together what had happened when Zaibach attacked Freid: Sid's insecurities about living up to his parents expectations, how Mahad had admonished Sid for weeping over Godashim, how Mahad had been slain, and Sid's promise not to cry.

Between King Aston's illness and Dryden's temporary insanity and her own grief, Eries had to admit that she had not been particularly attentive to Sid at Millerna's funeral, and she could not recall how much of an impact it had had on him. But she should have realized the possible implications of recounting all of these memories for Millerna's Remembrance. And the fact that Sid's emotional well-being might not be exactly in the greatest of health...

Oh, she could have smacked Mahad for his words. HARD. Yes, Sid was a prince of Freid and had responsibilities, but Mahad had been talking to a 5-year-old at the time. Despite all the demands in Eries' life, she was at least able to have a childhood, short as it was, where she was able to feel protected and nurtured.

Eries knew what she had to do.

She sat next to Sid and began to pull him onto her lap. Sid protested and tried to get away, but Eries was adamant. "No, Sid," she said firmly. "I can't let you alone. You're my sister's son and I love you and care for you." She finally managed to get him onto her lap, although she also gained a sharp kick in the thigh in the process. She kept a tight grip on him as Sid continued to wriggle in her grasp. "And I have to tell you something you need to hear."

Eries paused and continued gently, "it's OK for you to cry."

Sid immediately became still. After a long silence, he whispered, voice trembling, "But…but… I promised Father… I promised…"

[Soundtrack 2, track 16, "Hitomi theme."]

"You know what else I remember about Millerna?"Eries expected no response and did not receive one. "Millerna was always one to wear her heart on her sleeve. I sometimes would criticize her for it, but she would always say, "What's the use of being alive if you can't act like it." And it was her firm belief that hiding your feelings too much would get you sick."

"When she loved someone, it showed. When she didn't, it showed. She laughed when she felt like it. And when she was sad, she cried."

"It's Millerna's Remembrance today. I think that she would want you to make an exception today."

Sid began to weep. Softly at first, but it soon crescendoed into gut wrenching sobs that shook his entire body. It was a little frightening to hear. Eries could tell that Allen was also disturbed by the force of Sid's weeping. But Eries made no attempt to stem the tide of Sid's tears. Let it come, she thought, this has been delayed far too long. She simply held him in a comforting embrace and rocked him back and forth as he clung to her. Her shirt became damp from the torrent of tears.

After several minutes, Sid cried himself out until there was nothing left except for an occasional hiccup. Eries looked down at him. He still clung tightly to her, his head buried in her bosom. He looked so young, so young...

"You know, your father was right about having to be emotionally strong. When you're a ruler, people look up to you. If you showed the least bit of weakness, they lose heart. But your father was only partially right."

"Everyone, even kings and queens and warriors, have moments of weakness. But if you keep hiding it and ignoring it and always having to put up a false front, it eats away inside of you, and then you truly do become weak."

"You need to find a time and a place. Somewhere safe. Somewhere private. Where you can let loose the fears, the sorrow, the anger."

"It's best if you can find someone you trust to lean on also. Your mother was that someone for me for a long time. She was my best friend, and we were always there for each other. That's what families are for. I know it's hard to find someone like that outside of family. You have to be very careful whom you open up to. But it's much better than the alternative. I know that because I was like that, trying to rely on myself, not wanting to show my weakness to others." Eries raised her head and looked directly at Allen. "It took me a long time, but I finally realized how much harder it is alone."

Allen blinked, momentarily startled by her allusion to their friendship. He quickly recovered and returned her gaze with genuine warmth in his eyes.

She tilted Sid's face up and wiped the remnants of his tears away from his cheeks with her handkerchief. "Now blow," she said handing her handkerchief over to him. Sid obediently blew his nose. "Do you want to tell me what's upsetting you?" she asked gently. " You don't have to if you don't want to. But I want you to know, you're just about all the family I've got left, and I would never do anything to harm you."

"What about--" Sid's eyes darted over in Allen's direction.

"Allen? He's as close as family," said Eries simply.

Sid trusted his aunt implicitly and accepted her reply without further comment. Allen, on the other hand, had been taken off guard by Eries' statement. She could see the embarrassed expression on his face. She had essentially told the truth without giving it away...

"That's mother...isn't it?" Sid pointed.On the wall across from them, hung an oil painting, which had been unnoticed by the adults until now. It was a depiction of Eries and her sisters in Tanglewood's garden. Indigo, who was quite talented, had painted it some months before Marlene had gone to Freid. Marlene was resplendent in the picture. Wearing a rose colored sundress, she looked the perfection of maidenhood. Millerna in pigtails was adorable if over abundant in ruffles and ribbons. And Eries...well Eries was her awkward-looking teenage self, but grinning broadly as she posed between her sisters. A brass plate on the frame bore the caption: "Marlene, Sniper, and Millie."

"Yes, that is. That was the summer--Sid what's the matter?" Sid was beginning to sniffle again.

"I didn't recognize her!" Sid wailed. "Not until I saw her name. I'm such a bad son. I'm starting to forget--forget what she looked like...father too..." He broke down in tears again. Eries held him as his body convulsed with sobs.

So that's it, she thought sadly. But then again, how could he remember? Marlene had died when he was just a toddler. And he had nothing, no mementos, no portraits, not even the home he had grown up in with his parents to remember them by.

She waited until Sid calmed down again. "It's OK," she soothed, "It happens. To all of us. Memories fade. But it's part of living, of moving on."

"It's important to remember the past. But you shouldn't torture yourself that you don't remember everything. And even if you did remember everything, well that wouldn't be good either. Because that would mean you were always looking backwards and never ahead. That's not what your parents wanted for you."

She tilted Sid's face up to her again. "You were the future to your parents. Even though it's hard for you to remember them, there will always be a little bit of them in everything you do, because they raised you. They wanted you not to always look back at them, but to take their hopes and press forward with them. They wanted you moving ahead. For Freid. For them. For you."

"I know that doesn't necessarily help when you want to remember them or what they were like. But it's harder to remember people when you're remembering by yourself. You know, we still have the rest of the day together. If you like we can share together some of what we remember about your mother and father. Millerna, too. I did spend the first fifteen years of my life with your mother so there's a lot that I can tell you about her. Would you like that?"

Sid nodded.

"And like I said, we're_family_. If you ever feel that like this again or want to know more about your mother or Millerna, I'll do my best to be there for you. All you have to do is let your crazy, old Aunt Eries know."

"You're not crazy," mumbled Sid.

"Oh, so I guess that means I'm old them."

"Well, you are over 20."

"You!" Eries tousled his hair as he giggled and squirmed in protest. Eries gave him one last nougie and hugged him fiercely. She was relieved to have him brighten up. She made a mental note to have the painting wrapped up and sent to him for his next birthday.

"Auntie?" Sid asked after she had released him.

"Yes?"

"Millie, that's Auntie Millerna. But who's Sniper?"

"Oh, that's me."

"Ehhhh?" Sid was incredulous. His eyes darted between the girl with the over large grin in the portrait to the elegant, self-assured woman beside him.

"Stop that, you'll give yourself whiplash. Yes, that's me, a long time ago." It felt like another lifetime ago. "And that was my nickname."

"Wow, you've changed."

"I'll take that as a complement."

"But why Sniper-?"

"Because I killed somebody."

"What!!!"

"Sorry. Old joke. Actually it's a long story. Includes your mother, too. Hey, I'm starving, how about I tell you over lunch?"

"Yeah!"

Eries and Sid bustled downstairs with a considerably relieved to Allen following behind them.

`-`-`-`-`-`-`-//0/0/0/0/0

That night Allen dreamed.

This time it was different.

He and Eries were on a lawn in the shade of a tree. They were sitting side-by-side, her body leaning against his, his arm around her waist. It was the very picture of contentment.

Suddenly, three tow-headed children ran onto the lawn before them. They tumbled and romped like so many puppies. Eries laughed and called out to them, and then the children were running towards them...

Allen woke with a start. For a long time, he sat there, curled up in the darkness, with his face buried in his hands.

This was getting to be more than he could take.

By sunrise, he had made his decision.

-=-=-=-

ps. There is fanart for this chapt-pls check it out here on mediaminer.org!