Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Asturia: Love and Duty ❯ ch 10 ( Chapter 10 )

If you have the third Escaflowne soundtrack, please try reading the story with the suggested background music. hS wrote this chapter while listening to this track over and over and over and over again. In her humble opinion, it works out very very well.

Also..if mm.org is being slow to show you the illustrations, you can also find them at Aerika S's Eries Aston site at: http://www.geocities.com/eriesariaaston/fan.html

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It was done.

Submitting, processing, and getting his request approved by Gen. Keyes and Dean Sir Adriel had gone relatively smoothly. His explanation for transfer had been accepted with minimal questioning and comments, although both of his superiors had been surprised by the request. Considering Allen's obvious dedication to his students, Dean Sir Adriel was surprised by Allen's sudden desire to return to active duty. He was also sorry to lose him as Allen was both popular and effective as an instructor. He tried to convince him to consider one of the other two Asturian training centers as Allen apparently was set on leaving the capitol. Allen politely declined., explaining that he wished to re-hone his skills. Gen. Keyes, on the other hand, had been more surprised by Allen's choice for relocation. However, he was hard pressed to find a candidate that was as well-qualified for the requested position, which had been unfilled for months. Because Allen was volunteering to go, he was loath to discourage him.

Allen made the announcement to his students shortly after receiving approval. They were disappointed at the news, especially Kevin. But they all wished him the best at his new post. After training sessions had concluded for the day, Kevin had taken Allen aside and spoken with him privately. Kevin told him that he was sorry to see him go, but Kevin only had half a year of training left before he was eligible for assignment. So, really, it wouldn't be that much longer before Kevin could leave the academy and start active duty, perhaps even active duty under Allen's command. And at that point, he might even be able to show his old instructor a thing or two. With a cocky grin, he commented that it was unlikely that Allen would be able to maintain his level of swordsmanship without a sparring partner of Kevin's caliber to practice against. Allen had smiled, happy to see how far Kevin had come from his old bitter self. With a friendly slap on the shoulder, Allen told Kevin that he looked forward to their next match.

Nell's reaction had been entirely different. Allen told her he was returning to active duty, but he wished for her to continue maintaining the Schezar estate in his absence. He then began to thank her for her past years of dedication and service to him and his family. He did not nearly say half of what he wanted to say because, by that point, Nell had already broken into tears. The old matron's fondness for Allen and Serena went beyond most master/servant relationships. That was quite apparent as she wept and carried on and peppered Allen with questions: When was he leaving? When would he be back? Would he need her to send him supplies? Would he be back to visit? How in the world was he going to get a decent meal out there? And what kind of laundry facilities did they have out there anyway?

It was a tad embarrassing. Allen finally managed to preoccupy her by having her ready his belongings for his departure. With something akin to relief, Allen slipped out of the house.

All that was left now was to tell Eries.

The day after the Millerna's Remembrance, Sid had returned to Freid. At the last moment, Eries had decided to accompany him home. The two had become considerably closer after Millerna's Remembrance, and Eries was reluctant to end their time together. So she had flown to Freid with Sid and stayed briefly at Godashim. Upon her return to Asturia, she had matters to attend to at Rampart and Kanno so it was several days before she set foot in the capitol again. Time enough for Allen to get his request in and approved without her finding out, without her questioning his motives, without a chance for his resolve to break. But now that everything was in place, it was time to tell her.

But how?

Allen wandered aimlessly about Palas as he pondered and racked his mind for the answer. He would tell her face-to-face. That was for certain. He owed her that much. They had shared too much together for the news to come from a third party or a mute piece of paper. But what to say? How to say it? Where? He phrased different speeches in his mind, visualized various scenarios. What would she say? How would she react? Would it be like Kevin's smiling goodbye- best-wishes-until-we meet-again? Or would it be like Nell's tearful response?

It was mentally exhausting torture.

The distant rumble of thunder broke Allen's train of thought. He looked up. Clouds were gathering overhead, darkening the sunset sky. A summer storm, he thought.

With a start, he realized he was at the cemetery. Unconsciously, he had taken the route he used to visit Serena's grave those days soon after her passing.

And then he saw Eries.

She was sitting, leaning against Serena's headstone. She was dressed in a plain green linen dress, and her hair was tied back with a matching ribbon. A neatly folded fawn colored cloak and straw hat lay beside her. An oversized portfolio was balanced on her knees. Eries was using it as a makeshift drawing board and seemed to be concentrating intently on her work.

Before Allen could react, she stretched and looked up from her task. She saw Allen immediately.

Allen cursed himself. He had not bothered to change out of his Caeli uniform before going on his walk. There was no way Eries could mistake him for someone else.

Ready or not, he might as well get it over with.

Eries waved to Allen and scrambled to her feet. As she was putting her drawing back into the portfolio, a sudden gust tore the sheet from her hands. She chased after it, but the wind carried it swiftly out of her range. It flew towards Allen. A few quick long-legged strides and he had caught the tip of the runaway parchment in his fingertips. Intending to roll the drawing up and give it back to Eries, he pulled the sheet taut between his hands.

His breath caught in his throat.

In colored pencil was a depiction of a memory that had been invading his thoughts and dreams for the past few weeks. A perfect spring day, a cloudless sky, calm waters below, and seabirds peacefully circling above. The shores of the shining city of Palas with the Chrysotile monument standing a sentinel's watch over it. And…a pair leisurely sailing the waters in a skiff. The man's face was partially obscured by his cap and the woman's by her hair and her bonnet, but it was obvious to Allen who they were. She had captured every detail exactly down to the pattern of his neckerchief. The name on the bow of the boat could be made out: Caprice.

Anyone else looking at that drawing would not have noticed anything particularly unusual about it. But for Allen and Eries it had a whole level of meaning all to its own.

Eries appeared at his elbow. She was out of breath from chasing the runaway drawing. "You. Weren't. Supposed. To. See. That," she panted, visibly chagrined. She paused to catch her breath and continued. "That was supposed to be a surprise. I wanted-I wanted to give it to you. To thank you."

Allen was unable to utter a word. He was transfixed by the drawing in his hands. Eries mistook Allen's silence for negative criticism of her work. "It's not quite done yet and it's an amateur's job, I know. And I'm not quite the artist that Indigo was. If you don't want it, it's--"

"It's wonderful," breathed Allen. But not nearly as wonderful as you. "I'll treasure it."

Eries smiled. She seemed relieved that Allen had liked her gift and slightly embarrassed at his compliment. There was nothing more Allen wanted to do at that moment than to reach out and embrace her...

Stop it! You have to tell her. Tell her now. Before you end up any deeper than you already are.

Allen slowly began to roll up the drawing. "Princess Eries, there something I have to tell you."

"Yes?"

"I'm being transferred."

"Oh." She sounded as if she had been expecting something like that. "So Dean Sir Adriel's finally decided to rotate you to one of the other academies?" That would have made sense. In fact, he had made that offer.

"No, actually I'm returning to active duty."

"Oh." A pause. "I guess that means you're going to Luxor to join up with Gaddes and your old crewmates then. Or will you be going to Rampart instead?" she asked casually. Again, that would have made sense. Gen. Keyes proffered those posts to Allen when he first learned that Allen wanted to return to active duty.

"No, I'm going back to the frontier."

There. He had said it.

Eries looked at him blankly as if she didn't quite comprehend his words. Allen felt himself losing composure so he turned away from her to look out at the ocean. "I will be heading the reconstruction project for Fort Castello. I leave in three days." He was removing himself as far as possible from her. Unlike the other posts offered him, there was practically no chance that their paths would cross out there in the swamps. And the assignment was a long-term one as well. Gen. Keyes had made it clear that Allen could be reassigned after an 18 month term as were other personnel. However, Allen had specifically requested that he stay out there until the fort was completed. At best that would take five years. At worst...

"Gen. Keyes is assigning me out there until the completion of the fort. It's not surprising, really." Liar. " After all, I was the previous commander there and have the most--"

"COWARD!!!" The word sliced through him like a blade.

He whirled about to face her. Eries was livid. Her blue eyes blazed with anger. She looked like she was about ready to throttle him.

Her voice shook with fury. "I don't care how brave people say you are or that you have a Caeli title, Allen Schezar. When it comes to facing your own emotions, you're nothing but a coward." Allen stood in stunned silence.

"Don't think I don't see what you're doing. When your mother died, you ran away. When Marlene died, you hid in the swamps. It doesn't have to be this way now." Her voice lost its edge and she spoke imploringly. "Just because Serena is gone doesn't mean you're alone. Why can't you be a man about it? Face your loss and deal with it?"

{You're wrong. This isn't about loss. This is about wanting something I've never had and never can have. Ever.}

Anger spent, Eries looked at him beseechingly. "Why can't you--why can't you stop running away?"

{ Because it hurts too much to stay...to stand by and watch you go to someone else.}

"There's nothing left for me here," he said without emotion.

"What about the Academy? Your students? What about Kevin? Don't you realize how much he looks up to you? What about Lady Alexandra?"

"What about me?"

{Eries, oh, Eries don't make this harder for me than it already is.}

Allen spoke wearily. "There will be other teachers. And Kevin will be fine. He's practically a man now. He doesn't really need my help anymore. Alexandra has her own family. And...and Eries, you've always been strong..." Allen had to leave. He couldn't take much more.

{Forgive me. }"I have to go. I'm sorry if I've upset you." {She'll get over it. She's strong...really...she is...}

Allen turned to leave.

"Wait!" Eries lunged forward. Grabbing his arm, she stopped him in his tracks. Allen turned his face away from her.

{Eries...please don't...don't do this...}

"You're wrong. Don't go." Her voice was unsteady with emotion. "I'm not--I'm not as strong as you think I am."

{Go! Don't let things get any worse than they already are. }

Allen steeled himself. Taking another step forward, he tried to shrug her off. But Eries refused to let go.

"Please!" Allen stopped. There was a desperation in her voice

"I need you--I need you here. Don't you know--don't you know how hard it is to pick up the pieces...alone? Don't--don't go...don't leave me...I love you--"

[ soundtrack three, track four, Farewell]

{What did you say?!}

Allen's head whipped around to look at her. Eries looked as if she were in shock. Her face was deadly pale.

He looked directly into her eyes; they seemed unfocused, unseeing. "Eries," he said quietly. Hearing her name, her eyes refocused. With a choking sound, she let go of him. Slowly and unsteadily she backed away from him.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean...I...I have no right..."

"Eries..."

"Farewell." With a sob, she turned and ran.

"Eries!!!" Allen lunged forward but stopped himself. It took every bit of self-control he had to stop himself. From running after her retreating form, from overtaking her, holding her, and confessing to her, "I love you, too."

It began to rain.

"Perhaps, it's better this way. Better she not know..." he thought. His eyes dropped to look upon the drawing in his hand and regret flooded his heart.

`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`'`'`'`'`'`'`'[continue soundtrack]

In a blind panic, Eries ran, heedless of the pouring rain. She slipped in a muddy spot and fell headlong onto the path.

The impact knocked the wind out of her, but also knocked the sense back into her.

I love Allen. No! That can't be true!

But as Eries searched her heart, she knew it was true. She realized it was true the moment she spoke those words.

How? How? She trembled as tears of despair slid down her cheeks.

Eries had known early on that her marriage would be to suit Asturia's interests, not her own. She wanted to spare herself heartache, especially after Marlene's disastrous affair. So while others around her, including her sisters, fell in and out of love, Eries guarded her heart carefully, distancing herself from any and all potential romantic interests, nipping any amorous feelings in the bud.

So how could this have happened?

In a flash of understanding, Eries realized what her fatal error had been: she had let herself be vulnerable. That day when she was grieving for Millerna, she could have turned away from him. Instead, she let herself be comforted by him. After that, it had been progressively easier for her to rely on him, to trust him, to open up to him. And he had never done anything to betray that trust. On the contrary, he had reached out to her, fulfilled those needs she never realized she had.

And so, without realizing it, she had been falling in love with him all this time.

A cry of anger and frustration burst from her. No. There was no way this could possibly work out. Allen was a man with a tarnished past. He had no standing, nothing of substance to offer the Crown. Even if she could convince her father and the Council of such a match, there was the whole matter of Allen himself. She was close to him, but that had been primarily by virtue of her bond to Serena. She was a friend, nothing more.

And he was leaving.

Remembering his words, Eries felt completely abandoned.

Was it the fate of all the Aston sisters to love this man whom they could never truly have?

She had to forget him. Forget she felt anything of the sort towards him.

A hard cold voice in the back of Eries' mind spoke. Get up. Stop this at once. You are the Crown Princess of Asturia. Behave in a manner suited to your rank.

Eries slowly got to her feet. She had bruised one knee badly when she fell and her hands were scratched. Drenched and splattered with mud, she began to limp home with all the dignity she could muster. But her own words echoed in her mind.

"I'm not as strong as you think I am..."

--`.`,`,`,`,`,.``.

Three days later, Allen boarded a leviship bound for the periphery. He took a few belongings with him, almost all of which were of a practical nature. He only took three purelysentimental items with him:his father's journal; a pencil sketch of the bay by Palas; and a letter that he had received the previous day.

The letter read:

"Sir Allen Crusade Schezar:

Please accept my apologies for my words to you. Forget that I ever uttered them.

May Kami-sama bless your endeavors and grant you a safe return.

--Princess Eries Aria Aston"

*&*&*&*&*&*&****

R: before you start pelting us with fruit for doing this to our favorite couple, please remember that we were promised you some romantic angst earlier.

hS: *sniffles*

R: hey, stop that! YOU wrote this chapter!

hS: but it's so CRUEL! WAHHHHH!!!

R: * sweatdrops * Anyway, this WILL be resolved. AND, please continue to read and review!