Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Three Sides to the Coin ❯ I Won't Lie to You... ( Chapter 5 )

Title. Three Sides to the Coin

Part. five / seven

Part Title. I Won't Lie to You...

Authour. ~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

Warnings. FolkenxDilandau angst/fluff (when is it not in this fic?) and DilandauxVan implied.

Disclaimer. Check first part, sillies.

Notes. Ho-hai, I'm actually writing! I think I may finish this story within tow or three more chapters. Which is kind of sad, cause I liked writing this... ohwell, if you guys are nice enough, I'll write another big-project-fic-thingie, sooner or later. Read and review!

Extra Little Fun Note. This takes place on the night that the first part that the last chapter describes(you know, the part where Van gets up and leaves?).
Message Board. I have a message board, if you feel like bringing something up. Though, it's been awhile since I've updated(damn school), I will be getting to it as soon as things are cleared up. www.sushisama.hyperboards2.com

/ / = thoughts [ ] = dreams ( ) = flashbacks

::*~~*::

"Where the hell is he?" Dilandau asked himself for about the fifth time, pacing back in forth in his room. It was getting late and the Strategos had yet to show up. The Dragonslayer was starting to wonder if he had chickened out, like he thought he would.
Their encounter that morning had not ended in the exact way he had hoped for, but it did not end badly, either. There was a whispered 'goodbye' and a kiss, but also a demand that the Strategos would come to his room that night to discuss with him whatever he needed to.
And he was more than a little fed up with waiting.
The teen stopped in front of the lit fireplace, tapping his foot. It only took him about ten taps before he turned around to the door, ready to fetch Folken himself. However, he didn't have to go far - Folken stood in the doorway, wearing baggy sweat pants and a wife beater(a/n, I love those things... *@.@*), his usual stoic façade in place.
"About damn time," Dilandau grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Happy to see you, too," Folken said dryly, approaching the teen. He stopped when he was only a few inches from him, then bent down some to give the Dragonslayer a soft kiss on the lips, before sitting down in front of the fire.
Dilandau gave him a suspicious look, wondering about the Strategos' actions. He was acting like this was some usual routine or something - his coming in here, kissing him as if they were officially lovers, and then just making himself at home. Then again, hadn't Dilandau done the same thing when he went into Folken's room last night?
Dilandau shrugged it off and sat down next to the commander, bringing his knees to his chin and wrapping his arms around them. He stared into the fire, waiting for Folken to speak, but was only received by silence. He allowed it, for a little while - after all, the Strategos might have just been thinking about what he was going to say.
After awhile, though, it became just a little too annoying and silent for him. "Whatever you were going to ask me this morning, Folken," Dilandau started, still staring at the flames, "go ahead and ask me. I'm getting impatient."
Folken let out a sound that sounded oddly like a chuckle. "You were never patient to begin with, Dilandau," he replied simply. He extended his right hand and let the back of his metal knuckles across Dilandau's cheek in an affectionate gesture. The teen shivered at his cold touch, but continued to stare forward.
"Just go ahead and ask me," Dilandau commanded softly, pushing the hand away from his face half-heartedly. "No distractions until after we're done talking."
Folken sighed and retracted his arm, sitting with his hands in his lap. "Right, no distractions." He snickered, coldly. "There's something I never thought you'd be the one to ask for."
Dilandau looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. "What?"
"Nothing." Folken looked into the fire again, once more falling silent. Obviously, he was avoiding whatever subject he wanting to bring up that morning...
"Strategos," Dilandau called, "if you don't start talking, I'll just have to resort to other measures to keep myself entertained." He grinned wickedly. "This is one of the few times I'm actually willing to discuss something."
Again, Folken sighed. "Right." He paused. "What I was going to ask this morning was... Dilandau, why are you doing all this?"
"I told you, Strategos," Dilandau retorted harshly, "I want you. What's so hard to understand about that?"
Folken shook his head, frowning. "Not what I meant..." Folken turned his gaze towards Dilandau. "Why be so specific? Anyone on this ship would more than gladly let you have them. Why me?"
Dilandau fell silent, not knowing exactly how to answer the question. He, himself, had asked it one too many times, ignoring it or giving himself a sorry excuse. He didn't want to think about it - think about what it might mean. What was Folken getting at? What was he suggesting?
"There's nothing wrong with only wanting one person," Dilandau lamely defended himself. "I just don't see anyone more appealing than you, is all. Nothing else to it."
"I see," Folken said quietly, a bit of hurt in his voice. "Is that all it is? I don't know about you, but if I felt like only being with one person, I'd think there was something more than lust that was driving me." He stood up slowly, looking solemn. "And really, that's the only thing I would want driving me."
He crossed his arms, rubbing his shoulders as though he were cold. He stood still for a moment before speaking up again. "I really am a hopeless romantic," he said bitterly, chuckling to himself half-heartedly.
Dilandau watched him carefully, unsure how to reply. / More than lust driving you...? I won't let something like that get in my way. No, Folken, don't you bring that up... That isn't what it is. Not at all. /
"What drives you, then, Folken?" Dilandau spoke gently, standing up. "What are you leading to with all this...?" He stepped behind the man, letting his arms slide underneath Folken's so he could trace light designs over his sculpted chest. "Are you trying to tell me something?"
Folken took in a deep breath, shoving away the thoughts of how pleasant it was to have Dilandau this close. He let the boy touch him, but he knew he should not lead him on. He wasn't going to let anything happen. He still had things to say...
"What do you think I'm going to say, Dilandau?" he whispered, leaning back just the slightest bit so he was even closer to the child.
Dilandau smirked, putting his cheek against the man's back. It seemed as though the man was submitting. He liked where this was going... "What do I think?" He chuckled. "I think that you're going to mention something about 'love'." He became a little firmer with his rubbing and went all around Folken's chest, coming to the edge of his pants and then going back up.
"But... that's not what I want to hear, no matter how much you think you need to say it." He pulled his cheek away from the warmth that Folken radiated so much, and started to kiss the man's shoulder blades. "You don't need 'love', Folken. That's a misconception. I think all you need is a good fuck, and you'll see things through my eyes..." His hands found the rim of Folken's shirt and pulled it up so his bare skin could touch him.
Folken shuddered at the youth's touch; his skin was so cold compared to his. It felt wonderful... He could feel his barriers weakening with every touch Dilandau gave him. "Dilandau..." Folken breathed, his eyes half-closed.
"Shh, Strategos," Dilandau whispered into his ear before biting down on it gently. "Let me take care of you. You need no emotions to sate yourself." His hands ventured lower. "None at all..."
Dilandau grinned wickedly, feeling the man he was caressing shake. He would have him, finally. He was so sure of it, that he didn't even realize his next words and actions until it was too late.
His hands had sunk to the junction between the man's thighs and hips, coming so close to the Strategos' groin, he could feel the heat. "Just ask your brother; no emotions needed..."
Folken's eyes flew open. He pushed the child away, making Dilandau hit the floor roughly. He stared down at the child, an enraged look in his eyes.
Dilandau looked up at him, somewhat hurt, but his pain did not come even near that of which showed in Folken's eyes. He looked so... defeated. Like he had been ripped open.
/ And it's my fault... my fault he's in pain... / He flinched as Folken swept over him, leaning over the fallen youth. "Don't be so offended," Dilandau said weakly, somewhat frightened of what Folken was going to do to him now. "You knew, didn't you? Why should it bother you now, if not before?" When Folken didn't answer, he continued, "It's your own fault, you know. You know I'm impatient. You should have known I wouldn't wait so long! I even fucking told you! You've no right to-"
Folken gripped the teenager's shoulders and pushed him back roughly, the back of Dilandau's head connecting with the floor almost painfully. "No right? I've no right to be upset?" he growled between clinched teeth. "You sleep with my brother, and then try to sleep with me, and think I wouldn't be upset!?"
Folken was silent for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face, considering his next words. Dilandau looked worried, somewhat terrified by the violent mood swing Folken was having. He told Folken what he would do. He mentioned that he wouldn't wait... And the Strategos more than likely knew that he had been with his brother. So why was he so angry...? Dilandau didn't understand.
"What you said before..." Folken finally spoke up, his voice suddenly low. "You were right; I was going to tell you that I..." He stopped, a look of sadness taken place of his rage. "I... care about you, Dilandau." He winced, as though the information was painful to give. "And I would only want you if you felt the same. That is how I work, I guess."
"And it's not how I work," Dilandau said cautiously, staring into Folken's darkened eyes.
Folken sighed. "I know." His grip loosened a little. "I know..." He bent his head down some so that his lips just barely touched the boy's beneath him. He pulled back, his eyes turning cold. "So let's just forget about this. All of this." He got up off the child and straightened himself out. He extended his hand to help Dilandau up.
Dilandau reluctantly took it and allowed the commander to pull him up. They stood in front of each other for a moment, staring into each other's eyes. It became silent except for the fire dying behind Folken.
"I don't want to forget this, Folken," Dilandau whispered, biting his lower lip. "I still want you." He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the man's neck. "Just you..."
Folken hesitantly put his arms around the youth, pulling him closer. "It's not the same unless you can tell me you care, Dilandau. And I don't think you're ready, or willing, to do that."
Dilandau nuzzled into his neck. He was right... he wasn't ready for that. Not yet. It wasn't in him... / What will make you stay, Folken...? I don't want to lie to you... /
Folken gently released the boy, staring into those sanguine eyes he was starting to love so much. What a distraction... "Just forget it, Dilandau. Everything... I don't want you if I can't have you." He sighed, a look of hopelessness consuming him. "Find someone else. I don't care. Just don't bother me with this again." His tone became harsh. "Never again, got it?" He unlocked his eyes from the youth's and walked heavily towards the door.
"...and if I change my mind?" Dilandau said almost subconsciously.
Folken laughed bitterly. "Would you? Even for me?" His smirking face turned to a deep scowl, and, before Dilandau could reply, he went out the room, closing the door lightly behind him.
Dilandau stared at the door, his mouth agape. He had no clue how to respond to any of this. Folken had just completely turned his back on him... But why? Because Dilandau couldn't say he cared about him? Couldn't say he loved him? Was it that important to the Strategos?
Dilandau gripped his hair, practically ripping it out. "Christ, I'm so fucking confused!" he yelled at no one. "Why can't you make sense, Folken!?" He winced as he pulled some of the silvery strands from his scalp.
He sat heavily onto his bed, still cradling his head in his hands. Something trickled down his cheeks, warm and wet. He wiped away at it, wondering if he pulled enough hair out to actually make himself bleed. The liquid, however, was clear, and when he licked it off his fingers, it tasted salty. Tears...?
"Why does it hurt so much?" he murmured. "I don't care about you, I just want to fuck you..." The last bit was said half-heartedly. Dilandau knew he was lying to himself, but his pride got in the way of admitting it.
He stood up hastily. "And I'll prove it. I can be with someone else. I don't need you." He made his way to his closet to fish out some clothes and get out of his nightwear.
"I can have anyone I want. Don't need you at all..."

::*~~*::

It was just like the other night, peaceful and cool, as Van walked through the forest. He had high hopes of seeing the Dragonslayer again, but had a dark feeling he wouldn't get his wish. He stopped his wanderings and leaned against a tree, letting a deep sigh escape.
"Damn..." He rested his head against the bark. "What was I thinking?"
"We just keep running into each other, don't we, Dragon?" a playful voice spoke next to his ear, making Van jump.
The young king whirled around to face whoever it was, his eyes meeting with the smirking ones of just the boy he was looking for - Dilandau. The Dragonslayer was grinning sadistically, but his eyes were somewhat... off, different than before. Van couldn't put his finger on it, but didn't really care at the moment.
"We should do it more often," Van said smoothly, trying to sound seductive. He stepped up to his enemy and forcefully kissed him.
"Yeah, we should," Dilandau said half-heartedly once they had broken from their kiss. "We should..."

And I'll let you all guess what happens from there. ^_~ Ohh, I love angst... It makes me happy. Yes. *nodnod* Sorry it took so long to get this part out. SCHOOK SUCKS. Eeck. There's only about two or three parts left to this, which is kind of unfortunate. I like writing it. I may do another one soon enough... or I could just be sated with doing the alternative lemon stuffs. I like that idea. ;D