Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Hello, Goodnight ❯ Bunnies ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Okay, so where was I?
Oh, that's right. I'm unconscious.
I will later be informed that immediately after passing out, my head inevitably lolled backward and I ended up drooling all over one of Aya's eartails. Aya, already not being a very happy camper about the scenario, promptly becomes a just-barely-able-to-suppress-his-homicidal-rage camper. Really, it's a wonder he bothered to haul my sorry ass home after getting us out of our little death trap.
But I don't know this yet.
No, all I know now is that I'm suddenly in a lot less pain, and everything has just gone a lovely shade of blank. Now, fun as I think it would be to tell of the fantastic non-adventures of Yohji-the-unconscious, it'll probably be a bit more helpful if I rewound the story a bit, and explained just what unfortunate series of events led up to our current predicament.
So I'll just skip back a few days to the mission room.
Ah, the mission room. Really, what account of ours doesn't start in the mission room? Someday I'd like to be in a story that starts somewhere else. Like a bar in Cancun. One that starts in a bar in Cancun and ends up on a tropical island with just me and a tribe of lonely Amazonian She-goddesses. Now there's a good story. I'll have to write that one.
But back to the point.
Alright, so we're in the mission room and Birman has just briefed us on our next mission. Okay, okay, you caught me. It was actually Manx, not Birman. But I think Birman's hotter than Manx, and who's telling this story anyway? Yeah, that's what I thought.
So as I was saying, Birman has just finished playing the Persia tape and is waiting for us to respond.
My response goes sort of like this: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Ken's more like, "You're kidding, right? That's gotta be the stupidest mission they've ever come up with!"
Aya just mumbles, "Who cares, they're paying us to do it."
Omi though, Omi seems disturbed. "Oh my god those poor bunnies!" he cries, "We should be helping them, not taking out their rescuers!"
Birman is stern though. "Omi, the workers at that factory have families. Blowing up that company will do nothing to progress animal rights."
"But the bunnies…." Omi sniffles.
"Omi, did you know that poultry farmers chop off chickens' beaks so they won't cannibalize each other because being kept in cages that restrict movement induces mental instability and aggressive behavior?" Birman says, "Why don't you go worry about that for a while instead."
"WHAT!" Omi yelps and then dashes up the stairs and out of sight. I think I hear a door slamming.
"Well Omi's out." Birman states obviously. "This needs at least two people, so which of you will it be?"
"I'll do it." Aya says without missing a beat. Oh, Aya. Ever the unpredictable one. Yep, that's what I love about ya, Aya. Your fun-loving spontaneity.
Ken on the other hand refuses, saying that he had better things to do then slaughter a bunch of “Blatantly ignorant, commune-dwelling, lentil-munching, bunny-loving hippies.” I'm not kidding. He really said that.
"So it looks like it's just you and me then, eh, comrade?" I nudge Aya in jest, but he responds with a low scary growling noise. Touchy.
Birman says, "Well then, the details are in the file. Don't screw up."
I clutch the file to my chest in mock delight. "Oh, ever since I first became an assassin, I've just dreamed about stopping a group of radical animal rights activists from blowing up a shampoo factory! Oh, be still my racing heart!"
Aya snorts. Then glares. Then leaves.
My heart's pretty still.
At least I can act like that doesn't bother me.
Or maybe not. I'm so put off by Aya's mood that I completely forget to hit on Birman before she leaves. Shoot, I hope nobody noticed.
I'm getting a premonition. It's one of those ones that tell you you're about to have a really bad day. That will turn into bad week. That just might turn into a bad….
Life?
Man, this mission's gonna suck.