Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ zelos ❯ reality ( Chapter 12 )

zelos

by myka

chapter 12

A/N: This was the toughest one to write yet.

It's raining again, just like the first night we met. That baby, I wonder what happened to it.

I wanted to kill him that night. But I made a decision not to; I chose to get to know him instead. This is where a one second decision has led me too.

How long I've been sitting here? Half an hour, an hour…I don't even know anymore. I'm going to get pneumonia if I keep this up. Why did I come here anyway?

I force myself up from the spot I'm sitting; it keeps pouring and I hear thunder in the distance. It seems the weather has come to an agreement with what I'm feeling right now. I grab the window's edge and lift it up. It opens easily, just like before.

Baka…you should learn to keep your window locked.

I slip inside, as quiet as humanly possible. The lamp is off now; the room is in complete darkness. I remember where it is and turn it on, letting a small quantity of light inside the room. He sleeps. My heart skips a beat at the sight of him. I can't deny this anymore.

I walk slowly towards the bed and raise a hand towards him; I feel the need to touch him. His hair is soft; it passes through my fingers like silk, fiery silk. It doesn't seem fair, we just found each other…I just want to watch him sleep right now.

He moves; fast. I don't expect it; I honestly believed he was sleeping. It's too sudden for me to defend myself, that's what happens when you sneak up on an assassin. His hand snatches mine and he pushes me face first to the floor; twisting my hand behind my back in the process. I let out a small grunt, surprised by the action itself. There's a small pause, he doesn't move, I don't move.

I can hear the confusion in his voice. "Yohji?"

He releases me and stands up. I roll my body around on the floor and look at him. I notice he's wearing the shirt I gave him.

"What are you doing here?" he asks me at the same time he offers me a hand to help me up. I took it and was standing in a second.

"What are you doing here Yohji?" he asks again a little on the demanding side.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn't have anything to say. I sat down on his bed, speechless.

"What happened?" his voice shows a hint of fear, but he keeps asking me questions I can't answer. I don't have the strength to answer. If he finds out that I love him, he'll probably push me away…I don't want that.

He sits down beside me; I can sense the frustration pouring out of him. "You have two options Yohji" he said in a slightly dry voice, "either you tell me what's wrong or I get it from you; and believe me, you don't want the second option."

I starred at him, and I knew he was telling the truth. I have to tell him.

My voice comes out low, a whisper "You're my target…"

Silence fills the room; they kind that is worst than any noise, the kind that leaves you restless. All I can hear is his breathing…and mine. I can't stand this!

He stands, and my hand finds his left wrist in a second. Don't go…

I can't take the silence anymore. "Say something" I plea.

His voice comes out clear and flat, "I already knew that."

Shock with a little bit of anger pour over me, making me forget any other emotions. I stand and force him to look at me. "How did you know?" I ask.

"Crawford told me."

I freeze, and my body tightens. "How can you be so calm? Do you understand what this means? Don't you care?"

He twist's his arm, trying to get free of my hold on him. He glares at me with murder in his eyes. His voice is harsh and cruel. "Leave Yohji…get the hell out of my sight!" He keeps twisting his arm; the movement is frantic, desperate; it doesn't match his actitude. I don't understand why he's acting this way; and I'm not letting go of him. "What about what we talked about? What about us?"

He glares at me again. "There can't be an us. That was just lust. I don't care about you." I let go of him as an impulse and suddenly it's hard to breath. "Now leave Yohji; before I wake the rest of my team up." The threat comes clear and it hits home like a ton of bricks.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This is a nightmare, one I know I can't wake up from; nothing is supposed to ache this bad. I look straight at his eyes and he avoids them like the plague.

"I don't believe you…"

He keeps ignoring me and I snatch his wrist again; he fights me.

"Don't touch me!"

"Then stop lying to me!"

I step around and face him; his eyes finally tell me everything his words won't, and I believe he cares. I wrap my arms around him, I hold him close to me, because this is what I feel right now; and I don't want to let go. When his arms finally wrapped around my back I throw myself on the bed, dragging him with me.

I want him close to me, even if what I feel can't never be, even if it's just for tonight…I don't care.

~~~

I'm in a precarious situation. I've fallen in love with my enemy; someone I'm supposed to hate by default. And it's simply marvelous.

I don't want it to end. I don't want to wake up, because when I finally do, I know I'll have to face reality. And right now reality sucks.

"Wake up Yohji"

I already said I don't want to.

"Wake up! Yohji"

Leave me alone. I want to stay here.

"Wake up!"

Someone shakes me hard and I force my eyes open. Schuldig's face stares at me and I quickly notice the slight panic on it. I don't even have time to ask.

"Crawford's coming! You need to get out now!"

I don't question him anymore and quickly get up, gathering up my belongings in a flash. The window is already open and he guides me to it, I'm already out but I peer my head in again, I feel the need to. He grabs my hand and places something in it just before kissing me and forcing my head outside again. He starts closing the window and I see the door opening. I have a brief second to hide myself, I notice Schuldig didn't have the time to close the window fully.

"Are you ready yet?"

I can listen to them. I know I shouldn't, I know I shouldn't eavesdrop, but something is holding me. I can't help but listen.

"Why are you by the window Schuldig?"

"Nothing Brad, just sentimental crap"

"I though I told you to watch out last night; I warned you about Weiss"

"You did…"

"Never mind. Why aren't you ready yet?"

"…why do we have to leave anyway?"

"I told you; Kritiker has made us targets, is not safe to stay in Japan right now. I've seen it, if you stay here your Esset file will read 'deceased' in big bold red letters."

"…"

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

"That watch on the floor"

I hear a rap on the floor, then footsteps.

"Give it to me Schuldig"

"…"

"Is this Balinese's watch? Did he do something here?"

"…"

I heard the crude sound of a blow, followed by a thud on the wooden floor.

"You moron! I told you to end it! I told you that mission was over! Being Kritiker's target's changes everything. Do you want me to beat you up like when I found out?"

"It's complicated"

"It's not! I told you to befriend the Balinese. To convince him you could cloud my visions."

"I know Brad."

"I told you to tell him you liked him."

"I know Brad"

"I told you he would come last night and I told you to end your affiliation with him."

"I know Brad! Now shut the hell up!"

…

"Get him out of your head Schuldig; then pack your bags; we leave in two hours."

I heard the door being slammed shut and I couldn't breathe anymore, couldn't see anymore, couldn't move anymore. Everything I had come to feel and believe for the past months were a lie. I loved someone who felt nothing for me, someone who had been deceiving me all this time. I feel like dying right now.

It seems like forever, but I know I have to get up, I know I have to leave before he comes up with the idea to check if I'm still outside. It would seem logical that that would be the first thing he does. But as I forced myself to my feet and start down the rusty stairs, nothing happens. I hear no windows opening, no shouts directed at me. Nothing.

~~~

My eyes are burning and my mouth is dry; yet I refuse to cry. I've been blind all this time, I should've notice the signs; I should've seen this coming…

***

"Who hit you?"

"My boss"

"Why?"

"We had a disagreement on me going out tonight…that's why I was late."

"He beats you up if you don't do what he says?"

"That's the general rule."

***

I'm a moron. A moron, that's left his weapon twice in the enemy's lair. That reminds me…I dig my hand in my pocket, looking for what he had given me before I left. It's a note. It tells me where to meet him; it's a park, the park we first talked; it also says to meet in an hour.

I'm not going; I don't have anything to say to him right now.

~~~

I open the door softly, it's barely six in the morning; everyone's probably still sleeping. I just want to go to my room and stay on my bed, but we have a mission tonight, I have to get ready sooner or later.

Omi's sitting on the kitchen table as I walk pass it. I stop, odd, Omi is never up at this hour when school's out. I open my mouth to ask him why, but he beats me to it.

His voice feels out of place "Good morning Yohji"

"Morning" I reply in a tired voice. He stands up and passes right by me. I have a bad feeling about this. He heads to the stairs that lead to the basement. He looks my way and signals me to follow him. I do.

I finish down the staircase to find Omi standing in front of the monitor. He looks at me again before raising the remote and turning the system on.

A video plays and I immediately recognize what I'm seeing. It's Schuldig and me meeting at the front of the club last night, just before our first kiss, I knew it had been bold to do so. The video ends and static fills the room.

Surprisingly I don't feel anything; no shock, no rage, no remorse…my heart's already emptied out.

"How long have you known?" I ask in a dry voice.

Omi's voice is clear, I can't pinpoint the emotion behind it. "Manx showed me the tape just before the briefing last night."

***

"Yohji!" Don't go Yohji! Onegai!"

***

That makes sense now…

I walked over to the monitor and turn it off manually; the static was making me ill. "Who else knows?" I ask, avoiding his gaze at the same time, his voice is the same.

"Aya knows."

"And Ken?"

"Not yet."

I turn my head to look at him now; I need to see his eyes, wondering what they might tell me even in lies. "What are you going to do?" There's silence, it's unnerving, and it stirs me up.

"Nothing"

I blink. "What?"

"For now." I knew it was to good to be true. "Kritiker has decided to deal with this matter after tonight's mission."

Tonight's mission…

"It all depends on the outcome of it…and your collaboration in it."

I close my eyes. This is a disaster. Schu and me…it was supposed to be mindless fun…just a way to not get bored on a Saturday night. Then how come it ends like this? It should have never begun in the first place. I never meant to fall in love, how could I possibly have anticipated that. Never in my wildest dreams…

I want it to be over, everything I'm feeling right now. I just want to lie down and forget everything. But this is only the beginning…

Please, please…someone make this ache in my heart go away. Help me…help me forget that I love him.