X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Not Over Yet ❯ Chapter 19 ( Chapter 19 )

Chapter 19

Warm…his arms were so warm…so different, so alien from the cold darkness he had been accustomed to for so many days? Weeks? Years perhaps? How long ago had it been since he was locked in this stagnant place that he was seemingly damned to for the rest of his, or rather…Fuuma's life? However, none of this really mattered to Kamui right now. All he cared about at this point was the one he loved most who was holding him so protectively, almost desperately, and sinking into his loving warmth.

"Fuuma…." he murmured longingly, wrapping his arms tighter around Fuuma's neck and never, ever wanting to let him go. Kamui idly registered this fact in his thoughts. `God…just holding him like this…it just seems so right…so perfect…like the way things should be….or…should have been…' Tears stung in his beautiful violet eyes but he quickly shook his head, nuzzling into Fuuma's chest to cease them from falling. `No…Who knows when I'll be able to see him again after this….I'm not going to ruin this…perfect moment…not for anything….' And with that he closed his eyes, shutting out any depressing thoughts as only a single crystalline tear fell from the corner of his eyes and into the soft material of the dark, collared shirt that Fuuma wore. He felt as though he could completely lose himself in the feeling of being wrapped up in such, security, such warmth, and such love and easily allowed himself to do so.

Meanwhile, Fuuma was having similar thoughts, thinking how nice it was to be holding Kamui again, to have the body of the one he loved so dearly close to his own, fitting so perfectly against him. For that was what this moment seemed to be…perfect. Even if Kamui did not return his deepest feelings for him, it almost did not matter. He had this moment, he had Kamui with him right now and he would treasure the memory always. It made the loneliness he suffered worth it and the joy and comfort of Kamui being there now so much more rewarding.

Fuuma let out a content sigh hearing Kamui utter his name with such…longing was it? Never had he heard his name spoken from someone's lips with such emotion, nor would it have mattered much if it were said by anyone else. It gave him suspicion and slight hope to believe Kamui did feel the same about him, if only in the slightest…and that alone he was elated with. He pulled Kamui even closer; one arm running soothingly up and down his back while the other was securely around his slim shoulders.

"Kamui…" he whispered in return. `I love you,' he wanted to add, so badly wanting to express and shower Kamui with his love and affection, but he did not want to ruin the moment as much as Kamui, just in case there was that chance Kamui did not feel the same. He rested his head atop Kamui's in restrained contentment.

As if sensing Fuuma's struggle, Kamui pulled away a little. He brought a hand around to cup Fuuma's cheek and turn his face so that they could look each other in the eyes. Kamui smiled, a truly happy, relaxed smile. A smile he could only genuinely give around Fuuma, and it almost made the person it was intended for melt.

"Fuuma?" Kamui asked in a whisper, his fingertips lightly caressing Fuuma's firm cheekbone as he stared intently into those amber colored eyes he adored. Fuuma fought hard to keep said eyes open and continue the intense staring contest, but could not resist the urge to lean into the touch.

"Yes Kamui?" Fuuma replied gently. Kamui smiled a little wider hearing Fuuma's voice but looked down to the ground nervously as he asked his question.

"I…um…I mean….Did you mean…what you said…the last time we saw each other like this?" Kamui wanted no doubt in his mind for what he was about to do. For if this should turn out catastrophic for him, he could not promise what he would do in the near future. He had suffered too many hardships; especially concerning those he cared about and was almost afraid to give his love away to anyone, fearing the consequences….but…this was Fuuma…his dear Fuuma who he would do anything for. If he had the opportunity to actually share such a deep love openly with his one special person, he would be willing to take the risk. But he had to be sure this was the case. Hesitantly he looked back up to Fuuma with a slight blush on his cheeks as he waited for a response.

Fuuma had to blush a little as well, remembering their last meeting. He had hoped his declaration of love would have run a little more smoothly, more heartfelt and less desperate. Even more so, he had wished his first kiss with Kamui had been something a little more romantic and memorable. You know, like more along the lines of a moonlit walk hand in hand before turning to cup the beautifully blushing cheek of his beloved and gaze into his hypnotic amethyst orbs, pausing to take in his ethereal beauty in the moonlight and then lean in for that soft brush of lips; a sweet, tender kiss that could express the intense love he felt burning so deep within him for the boy he held in a way that was a little more persuasive than words. However, as they both knew so well, fate was cruel and would grant him no such pleasure. So instead, he had to make due with a frantic confession and a hasty kiss goodbye. But perhaps, he thought, very much liking where this new situation was going so far, it was better this way, because this way was real and it was happening now….instead of some absurdly perfect fantasy that could probably only remain just that.

"O-of course," Fuuma nodded, "Nothing has changed Kamui. I do…love you. I love you so very much….more than you could ever know." Fuuma did close his eyes then, and brought one of his larger hands up to cover Kamui's smaller one on his face, waiting in anticipation and fear for where Kamui was going with this. As Fuuma exhaled a shaky breath, Kamui sucked his in, staring at Fuuma wide eyed for a moment as if he could not believe what he was hearing. But that stare soon turned into a truly loving gaze watching Fuuma's expression and hearing the authentic sincerity in his voice. How could Kamui doubt him?

"Oh Fuuma….Fuuma. You have no idea….how happy that makes me," Kamui whispered on the brink of tears, "Fuuma….I-I love you too. I love you so much.."

"Kamui…" Fuuma let out a breath he did not know he was holding. Overjoyed and unable to hold back any longer, he pressed his lips to Kamui's as if to make it official, and soon both boys found themselves drowning in the heavenly sensations. They kissed clumsily, both not exactly having much experience in that area, but they could not seem to stop or let go for even a second. Whispers of the other's name and sweet `I love you's' were passed ever so slightly between their wet lips as they tasted and explored each other as if this was going to be their opportunity to do so. But regardless of the situation they were both in, it could not put a damper on the happiness they felt now.

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"Ne…..Seishirou-san? Are you SURE you don't want me to help?" Subaru called from over the couch in the living room to his lover making dinner in the kitchen.

"Of course Subaru-kun. You are injured after all and I can't risk you hurting yourself even more. I must take very special care of my delicate Subaru-kun!" Seishirou answered dramatically. Subaru could not help but laugh slightly but somehow this reminded him of those happy times nine years ago. When his sister was alive…. when her and Seishirou would constantly tease him….and everything out of Seishirou's mouth was a lie. Subaru shook his head. Obviously it was going to take a while before Seishirou had Subaru's full trust again, even if they had been living and spending almost every together for a few days now.

"If you say so Seishirou-san…" Subaru merely replied, taking another sip of his tea and resuming his blank staring at whatever was on TV. Seishirou quirked an eyebrow at the response, guessing he might at least get a blush or something out of that one but continued his cooking anyway. `I guess I really shouldn't expect things like that…it will probably only remind him of the past….the past that I need to make up for…if that's even possible.'

"Subaru-kun….it's ready," Seishirou murmured after some time, peering down at Subaru's lightly dozing face from behind the couch with their noses almost touching. Subaru's eyes shot open immediately and flopped back into the couch from the close proximity, making an undignified squawking sound. Seishirou could not help but chuckle. His Subaru-kun could be so clumsy sometimes.

"Ack! Y-you scared me Seishirou-san!"

"I can see that."

"Yeah…well….don't!" Subaru huffed.

"As you wish my lovely Subaru-kun," Seishirou smiled happily before leaning down to place a quick kiss on Subaru's nose, promptly making the younger man blush. He glared half-heartedly up at Seishirou for making him have such a reaction. But Seishirou just kept smiling brightly as if nothing was wrong. "Anyway, dinner's ready now. And I expect you to eat lots so you can regain your strength," Seishirou said in a tone that was almost parental. Subaru sweatdropped.

"Seishirou-san…I'm fine really." Before Seishirou could protest to that Subaru added in, "B-but dinner sounds nice. Let's eat." Satisfied with that, Seishirou nodded and happily guided Subaru to the table where dinner was waiting.

Dinner passed as it usually did; mundane talk of their day and Seishirou's attempts to try and feed Subaru, claiming that he just HAD to take care of him properly, but Subaru managed to evade him somehow every time. Everything seemed like it normally did since they had been staying together until Seishirou spoke up about something that had been on his mind.

"Ne….Subaru-kun, I've been thinking…."

"Oh? About what?" Subaru asked mildly curious.

"How have you been handling being the Sakurazukamori?" Subaru got quiet then, really not wanting to think about it.

"I…..um…." Seishirou smiled slightly at him before cutting him off.

"I'm sure it's been difficult. I do apologize for forcing such a responsibility on you. That's why I've been thinking. Would you like me to take it back?" Subaru's head shot up to look at Seishirou.

"Is that possible?" Seishirou nodded.

"It is because I'm alive. Would you like me to do that Subaru-kun?"

"No….and yes…." Seishirou chuckled.

"But there must be a Sakurazukamori, you know that Subaru-kun. It's needed for balance. And it can't very well be balanced properly if black AND white onmyounjistu are wielded by the same person."

"I know but…." Subaru stared intently into Seishirou's eyes, remembering something from when Subaru "resurrected" Seishirou, "If I do let you take it back….will you still be able to say…that you love me?" Seishirou paused, then smiled a genuinely soft smile.

"Of course. I can't very well take that back and I wouldn't dream of it either. These past few days with you…have made me happy. You won't lose me Subaru-kun. That's what I promised you after all." Subaru nodded and smiled before looking down with a blush.

"Then…I think you'd better take it back. As much as I wish I didn't have to do this…I think the Sakura misses you anyway," Subaru mumbled somewhat annoyed, remembering all the comments the Sakura had made to him about how hungry it was, how Seishirou did things, and how he would have rather eaten Subaru instead. Seishirou chuckled again.

"Mm, yes she can be a pain to deal with sometimes, but alright. We'll go pay her a visit after dinner, okay?"

"Okay," Subaru answered quietly.

"Hey," Seishirou started, coming over to Subaru and cupping his cheek in his hand. Subaru's cheeks turned rosy and looked up at him expectantly as Seishirou leaned down to brush a slow, sensual kiss across his lips. "I love you," he murmured into Subaru's parted lips after it was broken.

Panting lightly, Subaru smiled lazily as he replied, "I…love you too, Seishirou-san."

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"How long you think they're going to be? Should we go bother them?" the Light Kamui giggled resting his chin atop the Dark Kamui's head from where he was kneeling behind him; one arm around his neck while his other was running a finger up and down the back of the Dark Kamui's neck.

"Mm….we don't really need to concern ourselves anymore with those two do we? Kamui has his Fuuma now and they can do whatever they please so long as it doesn't interfere with us and our duty," the Dark Kamui sighed, leaning back onto the Light Kamui's chest and welcoming the relaxing touches he was receiving. The Light Kamui's smile faltered somewhat, not exactly liking that answer and looked away slightly, not that the Angel could see it.

"Yeah I…guess…" The Dark Kamui seemed to sense the fall in his lover's attitude.

"What? Don't tell me you were actually planning on those two being able to help us. For one, they're both too wrapped up in each other to even notice anyone else. For two, why would they? We've already made both their lives living hells because of what we are and for three, they're mere humans now. What could they possibly do?"

"I….I know…but then again…you never know, either. I just…" the Light Kamui sighed, now wrapping both arms tightly around the Dragon of Earth's neck and burying his head in his broad shoulder. "I can't help but feel hopeful. This time is so different. It could be the one that ends this…or maybe it's a chance for us to escape. Escape our fate."

"Are you crazy? How could we possibly escape? We are nothing but the means by which wishes can be carried out. A wish that dictates everything we do. Tell me, let's say you did win. What do you think would happen to you after you grant the wish to save humanity? Do you think you could live among them? How? You're more or less a spirit. You think you'll just have permanent control over the body you happen to inhabit?"

"I…I don't-"

"No. You know we aren't meant to have human lives. We're nothing but tools. Once that wish is gone, so is our purpose, and so is our existence until another wish comes around."

"Then why do we have free will?!" The Light Kamui could hardly take this anymore, tears forming in his eyes. "Why? If we're tools….why should I feel anything? Why am I allowed to cry? How am I able to love you so? Is it to torment us? Does it make it more amusing? Why do we have to go when the wish is gone? Why can't….we go on living…as who we are?" The Dark Kamui was silent for a while, almost considering it and letting his lover shed the tears that he had probably been holding back for so long. This was beginning to remind him, and the Light Kamui, of that tragic time in 999. Eventually the Dark Kamui spoke up with an answer he thought was right.

"We have free will….in order to possess the bodies of humans. It makes us…compatible."

"Then why don't we just have the same personalities as the bodies we possess? Why am I so different from Shirou Kamui, or any of the others? Why am I…able to be me?"

"………I don't know." The Light Kamui's breath hitched a little, lifting up his head to rest it against the Dark Kamui's, placing a kiss on his cheek when he had managed to calm down a bit.

"Then maybe…..there's a chance."

"But….we've tried before. And we paid for it….dearly. I don't want that to happen again," the Dark Kamui whispered gently, nuzzling closer to the Dragon of Heaven.

"I know," the Light Kamui murmured, nuzzling back, "But think about it. This time…could be it. Everything's been more or less messed up. There may be a way out, if we look for it. Wouldn't you be willing to take the chance, if it meant we could be free?"

"Free…" the Dark Kamui uttered the word as if it were a foreign concept to him, yet he longed for it anyway. He looked at the Light Kamui with a smile, bringing up a hand to brush his tears away and opened his mouth to say that he would love nothing more than that but all that managed to get out was a sharp gasp as a surge of stinging pain shot straight through his head. An ear-piercing scream burned through his ears, almost enough to make them bleed and he suddenly tore away from the Light Kamui, clutching his head groaning in agony. "Aah! N-no….I can't.... It's becoming too much….The Earth….It's-"

"NO!" The Light Kamui leaped to his feet and was at the Angel's side in an instant, panicking and starting to cry all over again as he took his lover's face in his hands. "Please! You can't let it get you yet…not yet! Stay with me! Please! This can't happen now!" The only response he got was another painful groan as the Dark Kamui leaned helplessly into the Seal, trying to fight the chaos raging in his body; his eyes flashing between widened in pain with that deep golden color to almost reptilian like slits. "No..!" the Light Kamui whimpered in a fearful whisper, tears streaming down his pale cheeks as he attempted to snap his lover out of it with a kiss on the lips, but to no avail. " No, you can't! You can't! Kamui…..please….help me!"

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As if sensing the struggle nearby, Kamui slowly pulled away from Fuuma's arms with a troubled look on his face.

"Kamui….what's wrong?"

"I have a bad feeling Fuuma. I think we should go find those two," Kamui said looking around for any sign of life. Disappointed as he was, he could not deny anything from Kamui nor could he disregard the bad feeling he had too.

"Alright, let's go."

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"Fight it! Be strong! Please….Not yet. I can't do it yet…not before we even have a chance..!!" The Light Kamui continued to futilely reason with the Angel he was slowly losing. He stared into his eyes, hoping to bring about some feeling of recognition that could help him fight it…but would soon find out what a mistake that was. Once the Dark Kamui managed to focus his gaze on the one who was holding him, those snake like slits in his eyes honed in on him and seemed to stay there permanently, enchanting the Light Kamui with a bloodthirsty stare. The Light Kamui gasped but could not seem to look away, his own eyes starting to morph into ones just like his counterpart and his protests dying down to a murmur, feeling a painful take over beginning to happen in his own body as well. "No…..no….I can't…lose you….yet….." Even while the two still continued their seemingly losing battles, a powerful bloodlust was burning within them, aimed specifically for the one they were staring at and soon the hands that were holding Dark Kamui's head began digging their fingernails into his smooth flesh while the Dark Kamui's hands moved away from his own head and went directly for that graceful neck of the one he loved. It might have been over for the two then and there, if not for the intervention of their carbon copies.

"NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP YOU TWO!" Kamui shouted as he and Fuuma neared the pair. Kamui instantly placed himself between the two, ripping away the Light Kamui's arms while Fuuma went for the Dark Kamui's, each of them trying to hold their double back. The Light Kamui seemed to calm down a bit if only to catch his breath but the Dark Kamui still looked like he was out for blood. "Ngh! Fuuma! What are we gonna do!?" Kamui cried, his hands grasping the Light Kamui's wrists trying to push him further and further back.

"I don't know!" Fuuma answered, in a similar position as Kamui with Dark Kamui. "What CAN we do?! We have nothing that can hold them back!"

"ARGH!! That's right…DAMMIT!" He looked up at the Light Kamui helplessly, noticing those eyes and shuddered slightly, but he also noticed that they were soley focused on Dark Kamui, not realizing Kamui was there at all. He could also tell he was building up his power, the true power of "Kamui" that he himself was never able to unleash. Whirling his head around, he saw Dark Kamui was the same. `They're charging up for the Battle…we need someone…' he thought, `someone who could bind them or bring them to their senses since Fuuma and I have no powers anymore.' The only person he could think of was Subaru but he had no idea how to contact him in time. "Fuuma! We need to get Subaru-san or someone! But how can we!?" Fuuma's shut his eyes tightly and tried to think while still somehow managing to keep the Dark Kamui from going anywhere. He did know that body Dark Kamui was in best, after all. Suddenly an idea hit Fuuma.

"Kamui! Possess me! It's the only way! Then contact Sumeragi-san!"

"What?! No way! Then you'll be left here all alone! I won't do that Fuuma! You could get hurt!"

"Don't worry about it! We need someone out there and I'll be able to hold them back better. They're not even using their powers yet! I'll be fine Kamui! Just go!"

"Fuuma…." Kamui whispered, before quickly making up his mind, wishing for the best and darting for the pentagram within Fuuma, pushing the Light Kamui a good ways back for some extra time. "I'll be back before you know it Fuuma!" he called as he left.

"I know you will, Kamui…." Fuuma murmured more to himself, smiling as he watched Kamui go, then got a determined look in his eyes, getting back to the task at hand as he saw the Light Kamui slowly making his way towards them.

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"Is that it?"

"Yep that should do it," Seishirou said, pushing his dark sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose, "You are no longer the Sakurazukamori. Relieved?"

"A little, I guess…" Subaru answered quietly.

"Still worried you'll lose me?" Seishirou asked with an amused smirk. Subaru nodded. "Heh, don't worry-" but before Seishirou had an attempt to try and reassure Subaru, a ringing sound coming from Subaru's trench coat interrupted the moment. Reaching inside his pocket, he took out his cell phone and answered it. A look of concern passed over his delicate features hearing who was on the other end.

"Calm down. I'll be over right away, I promise," Subaru answered hastily, already walking in the direction he would need to, expecting Seishirou to follow.

"Who is it?" Seishirou asked quietly, catching up with Subaru.

"Monou-san…he needs our help."

A.N.: ^.^;;;;;; Yeah…it's been years I know. I apologize to those that were waiting but the good news is that I've revised the earlier chapters AND finally know how I want to end this story! So I will complete it someday. Don't worry. Thanks for those of you that stuck with me and to all my reviews. I'll thank everyone personally next chapter but I wanted to hurry up and post all of this before I have to go back to school. Review if you like! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. ^___^;;;