Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Yami no Kenzoku ❯ Chapter Fourteen ( Chapter 14 )

Notes: Ugh. This took bloody forever. Sorry, people. There's really no excuse for it this time.

However, there are infinite amounts of Tsuzuki/Hisoka goodness. Actually, not quite, but when they are together, it's ridiculously adorable. So hopefully that makes up for my tardiness.

Yami no Kenzoku

Chapter Thirteen

"Kurosaki-kun is fortunate that he has the regeneration abilities of a shinigami, or else I do not think he would have survived. Both his legs are broken, however, and while he will heal more quickly than a normal person would, he will still be out of commission for at least another two weeks."

Fingers steepled before him, Konoe listened quietly as Tatsumi explained all that had happened throughout the course of their case in Kamakura. It was a week since the incident, and because he had seen the toll it had taken on all of them, Konoe had not requested a report immediately. Only now had he asked Tatsumi to tell him everything.

"And the case," he said slowly, "what of that?"

"No one is quite sure what happened," Tatsumi admitted. "I at least have a vague idea."

Konoe gestured for him to continue.

"Well . . . I believe that it was the curse of Yatonokami that caused Kurosaki Rui to be bed-ridden with a two-year pregnancy. It was by that same curse that Nagare had the skin disease that he did. Yatonokami was attempting to . . . possess him it seemed.

"However, I believe that Yatonokami lost its physical form when Kurosaki Ren destroyed it all those years ago, and its blood remained dormant in the blood of the Kurosaki family. It was possessing Nagare, but as Nagare resisted, it had to go to someone else . . . and that was Kasane.

"Yatonokami must have taken complete control of Kasane at some point and using her, was able to get to Rui and become the physical form of a serpent that we saw on Shichirigahama that killed Nagare. And Muraki played only a small piece in it all. Using the family's curses, he caused all that happened that night, so that he could sabotage our case and take Shinori-kun. He is, after all, not a patient man."

Konoe was silent as he absorbed all of the information. Finally, he gave a brief nod of his head.

"Very well. What became of Rui and Kasane?"

"Kasane has finally moved on and gone to Meifu. Rui survived, and from our follow-up inspection, we found that her two-year long pregnancy has ended, and she gave birth to twins. Those children at least will not grow up with the curse of Yatonokami."

"And the Kurosaki household itself?"

"Rui has become the head. It seems they will be doing things a little more modernly from now on."

Konoe nodded. "I see. As for Shinori-kun . . ."

"A rescue operation is in order. Who shall I send?"

Konoe's hands came up to his temples to massage them in hopes of alleviating the headache he was developing. There was certainly no shortage of shinigami to send, but with both Hisoka and Kaiki out of commission, it made it somewhat more difficult for him to choose who would go. Particularly when each pair of shinigami had their own affairs in their districts to take care of on top of everything else . . .

"Considering it is Muraki, I do not want to send just one shinigami," he said slowly. "Perhaps Terazuma and Wakaba?"

Tatsumi pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "While both are capable, they should not be sent alone against that man. Perhaps sending Tsuzuki-san and Watari-san with them would be a good idea."

Konoe waved a hand vaguely. "Yes, that's fine . . . go ahead and give the order, Tatsumi."

After giving a brief nod of acknowledgement, Tatsumi slipped out of the office. He sighed softly and started down the hall.

The workroom was empty when he entered, which meant that everyone on duty was likely in the infirmary visiting Hisoka. Tatsumi headed in that direction, and certain enough, he found Watari, Terazuma, and Wakaba all in Hisoka's room to keep him company. Tsuzuki was no where to be seen.

"Hi Tatsumi-san!" Wakaba said cheerfully, noticing his presence before the others. Tatsumi smiled in return.

"Good morning," he said politely. "But I do come bearing bad news."

Watari looked up sharply at him from the most recent of his inventions he was tinkering with. "What bad news?" he asked, fearing it had something to do with Kai.

"You three are being sent on assignment along with Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi said.

"Assignment?" Terazuma repeated.

Tatsumi nodded. "To retrieve Shinori-kun."

"Tatsumi, don't come into a room saying you've got bad news when it's /not/ bad news," Watari said irritably.

Tatsumi smiled slightly. "My apologies. How are you feeling, Kurosaki-kun?"

Hisoka turned his gaze away from the window he had been staring out of, looking vaguely startled at being spoken to. "Huh? Oh. I'm okay."

Tatsumi frowned.

"Would it be all right if all of you if I speak to Kurosaki-kun alone for a moment?" he asked, glancing around the room.

Watari, Wakaba, and Terazuma all filed out of the room without debate. They knew as well as Tatsumi did what was wrong with Hisoka, and they also knew that Tatsumi was the only one that could talk to him.

Taking a seat at Hisoka's bedside, Tatsumi wasted no time in asking, "Tsuzuki-san has not been to see you, has he?"

Hisoka looked for a moment as though he would argue or claim that was not what was bothering him, but it was short-lived. If anyone could see straight through him, it was Tatsumi.

"It's been a week," he said quietly.

"Tsuzuki-san is understandably upset about what happened in Kamakura," Tatsumi replied calmly, rationally. "He takes the blame for your injuries and Shinori-kun's abduction."

"But it's /not/ his fault!" Hisoka exclaimed.

"No. But as long as he believes it was, it will be that way for him. None of us can force him to think differently."

"Still . . ."

"I will speak to him, if you wish. I have to inform him of his upcoming assignment anyway."

Hisoka looked at him sharply. "No."

"No?" Tatsumi repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't want to seem anymore pathetic that I'm already being."

Tatsumi stared at him for a moment, then broke into a soft chuckle. "I will speak to Tsuzuki-san."

While Tsuzuki had been avoiding the others, particularly Hisoka, he could not avoid having to report in to work every morning. For that reason, Tatsumi knew that he could not be far. And if he knew Tsuzuki correctly, not far meant that he would be outside of EnmaCho brooding beneath the sakura trees.

Which turned out to be the exact truth, not surprisingly. Tatsumi smiled a brief, private smile, shook his head, and walked over to him.

"You'll catch a cold," he said lightly.

Broken from his thoughtless gazing, Tsuzuki startled out of his dream world and looked up at him. He was stretched out beneath one of the trees, hands tucked behind his head, suit jacket littered with white petals. Tatsumi settled down beside him and absently brushed them away.

"This cannot be a good sign," Tatsumi said thoughtfully. He sat with his back to the trunk of the tree, gaze turned away from Tsuzuki. "You only come here when you have something to be upset about."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes. "Aa," he breathed softly.

After a brief moment of silence, Tatsumi announced, "I cannot leave you like this." He glanced sidelong at Tsuzuki. "Perhaps a trip to Chijou for tea is in order . . . or cake."

His words gained a small reaction from Tsuzuki that he had been hoping for. Tsuzuki looked up at him, a faintly hopeful gleam in his amethyst eyes. Tatsumi smiled.

"Well, come on then."

By one of the many virtues of shinigami travel between Meifu and Chijou, Tatsumi and Tsuzuki arrived on Chijou within a matter of seconds. Glancing around, Tsuzuki saw that Tatsumi had taken them into the heart of Tokyo, for whatever reason, but before he had a chance to ask the man Tatsumi had started to walk down the sidewalk. Tsuzuki hastened to catch up to him.

Tsuzuki had never been familiar with Tokyo during his lifetime, having grown up in a small, secluded village not far from Kyoto, nor was he familiar with the vast city in his afterlife. For that reason, he kept close to Tatsumi, who knew his way around. This district of Japan had been his area for a time, after all.

Tatsumi brought them eventually to a small café on a street corner, where they were welcomed graciously and seated immediately. Tsuzuki allowed his eyes to drift around the western-styled café as Tatsumi perused the menu.

"Well?" Tatsumi asked after a few moments, breaking him from his wandering. He had set down his menu and was waiting patiently for Tsuzuki to notice him. The younger shinigami flushed faintly.

"Sorry," he mumbled, picking up his own menu.

"It's all right," Tatsumi said with a smile. "You have much on your mind."

Tsuzuki frowned at the menu in his hands. "Yeah . . ."

The waitress appeared to take their orders. Tatsumi asked for tea for the both of them, while he was lenient with Tsuzuki and allowed him to order two slices of apple pie. The younger shinigami looked considerably happy about this arrangement, but Tatsumi could see well enough that two slices of pie were not going to help him.

"You have not been to see Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi said lightly. He smiled politely at the waitress when she returned with their orders, then took a delicate sip of his tea. "He has been conscious for well over a week now."

Tsuzuki kept his eyes focused on the plate before him. He poked at one of the slices of apple pie; their appeal was quickly fading away.

"I have been," he replied quietly. "Just . . . never when he's been awake."

"Why not?" Tatsumi asked.

Tsuzuki sighed. "I don't know. I just don't feel like I can face him right now."

"He does not blame you."

"I know that," Tsuzuki answered softly.

"Then why will you not see him?"

Tsuzuki looked away. Why, indeed. He wanted to. When it had happened, and he had seen Hisoka, covered in blood, unconscious . . . he had thought the worse. He had never felt more relieved when he had learned that Hisoka would be fine, once his broken legs were healed. Still, it was hard for him, to face Hisoka and the others and know that there was something he could have done to prevent what happened.

"I don't know, Tatsumi," he said finally. "I really don't."

"Well," Tatsumi said, in a tone that stated that he was willing to let the subject drop, "Kurosaki-kun is not the only reason I wanted to speak with you. You are being sent on assignment with Watari-san, Terazuma-san, and Wakaba-chan."

Tsuzuki blinked up at him. "Isn't that a bit excessive? Sending four people on one job, I mean."

"This is not an ordinary assignment."

"Then . . ."

Tatsumi leaned back in his chair, his cup of tea brought to his lips, hiding his mouth as he spoke. "You are being sent to retrieve Shinori-kun."

It was obviously not what Tsuzuki expected to hear, if the dumbfounded expression on his face was any indication. It was so hopeless of a face that Tatsumi could not help but chuckle softly.

"Did you think that we were going to leave him to Muraki?" he asked.

"No!" Tsuzuki said quickly. "I just . . . I mean, how do we know that Kai is even alive? Well, I mean, as alive as he can be, since he's already dead and well . . . you know what I mean." It was hard for him to say, but unfortunately, it could very well be the truth. Muraki had the ability to kill shinigami, and Tsuzuki did not trust him to not kill Kaiki.

"Tsuzuki-san. His name would be recorded in the Kiseki. Have you not been sleeping well lately?"

Tsuzuki gave in to the urge and poked his tongue out at Tatsumi. "I forgot! I've had a lousy week, you know."

Tatsumi smiled, not in amusement, but in a sad, private way. "I know."

"So then you know where we should start looking?" Tsuzuki asked.

"We have a vague idea," Tatsumi answered. "Besides, Muraki has a habit of being wherever we are, so I imagine that it will not be difficult to make contact with him. We will be sending you to Tokyo to begin with. His practice is there, so it is the most logical place to start looking."

Tsuzuki nodded. He was inwardly grateful that his mind had not gotten ahead of him and made him begin to worry about the assignment. Where Muraki was concerned, he always felt helpless, but the feeling had yet to hit him. He imagined it would creep up on him in the most inconvenient of moments, though. Luck wasn't much on his side these days.

"Well," Tatsumi began, "we ought to get back. You have quite a few preparations to make."

Tsuzuki sighed. "Yeah . . ."

Terazuma and Watari took care of the few preparations they needed to make before they began their search for Muraki and Kaiki, giving Tsuzuki, rather unfortunately, plenty of time alone. He spent the majority of it avoiding all of the pointed looks Wakaba kept sending in his direction, telling him blatantly without words to go see Hisoka. No one seemed to understand that it was not that easy for him.

It was in the duo office that he and Hisoka shared that Tatsumi found him that evening. The older shinigami was on his way home, always the last to leave the agency, when he noticed the office light on. Under normal circumstances, he might have been worried about that, as he had been the last to leave for the past fifty years, but considering what strain Tsuzuki was under it was not that surprising.

He nudged the door to the office open and found Tsuzuki seated at his desk. Or, more accurately, he was slumped over his desk and looked as though he had fallen asleep hours ago. Tatsumi smiled slightly, simply admiring him from a distance for a moment. When he was awake, Tsuzuki was a turmoil of feelings, that often surfaced in his expressions, but when he was asleep, it was the only time Tatsumi ever saw him with something resembling tranquility on his face.

He crossed the room and placed a hand on Tsuzuki's shoulder, giving him a gentle nudge. "Tsuzuki-san," he said softly, "wake up. You should have been home hours ago."

Tsuzuki made some sound vaguely like a plead for another few minutes of sleep. With another small nudge, he woke up completely and looked around in bewilderment. It took a moment for his eyes to focus on Tatsumi.

"Ah, Tatsumi. What time is it?"

"Late," Tatsumi answered. "What are you doing sleeping in your office?"

Tsuzuki shrugged and stretched out his arms above his head. "I dunno. I just fell asleep."

"Hm, well. Come on. I'll walk you home."

Tsuzuki was far too tired to disagree, and so he allowed Tatsumi to help him up and guide him out of the room without any trouble. Once they were walking out of the building, however, and into the crisp Meifu air, all traces of sleep on his face and in his movements were gone. He wrapped the folds of his jacket more firmly around his body in hope of warding away the cold. Tatsumi did not feel the bite as much as Tsuzuki, and so was content with only his suit jacket.

"It looks like it may rain," Tatsumi said offhandedly, looking toward the sky. Dark clouds were gathering, blemishing the perfection that was the Land of the Dead.

His own eyes not lifting from the ground as he walked, Tsuzuki replied, "Hope so."

"Why is that?" Tatsumi asked. A slender eyebrow had arched over the rim of his glasses.

"Well," Tsuzuki began, only to stop short, as he considered the question for a moment. "I suppose because when it rains here, or it snows, it makes me feel like this place really is home."

"Tsuzuki-san?"

Tsuzuki sighed, but there was a slight inkling of a smile tugging at his lips. "People expect the afterlife to be perfect, not like life. People expect for everything to be bright and beautiful and . . . and, well, perfect. The way they want life to be.

"But life isn't perfect, so you accept that as you live. And when you die, you get something better, sure, but not perfect. Because nothing really can be, can it? So when it rains or snows here, or the sky is gray, it reminds me that this place isn't really bliss. It's not really Heaven. It's just another step toward the perfection people are always looking for."

Tsuzuki paused a moment. Tatsumi took the opportunity to look at him, a wondering expression on his face as he looked into those strangely serious amethyst eyes. It was not like Tsuzuki to be this thoughtful. It was almost disturbing, in a way. Certainly, Tatsumi had always known that there was a deeper side to Tsuzuki, the opposite of what he showed on the surface, yet he would give anything to see Tsuzuki smile. Even if it was a mirthless smile, it was far better than what his face revealed now.

"That is an interesting way to put it," Tatsumi replied. "I always thought that it rained here because at times, it can be comforting to people."

"Maybe," Tsuzuki said, nodding his head in half-hearted agreement.

The walk to Tsuzuki's home was brief. He lived in a well-populated area of Meifu, what would have been a replica of Tokyo, if it were only somewhat larger. Still, despite its difference in size, the city still had many of the things that people knew Tokyo for -- the Tower, for one, or the Sunshine 60 building, or the Highrises of Shinjuku. That was why so many spirits of the dead chose to populate here. It was comforting to them. It reminded them of home.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, Tatsumi," Tsuzuki said with a smile. He was standing in the doorframe of the apartment, Tatsumi across from him in the hall. The older shinigami nodded.

"Good night, Tsuzuki-san."

"G'night."

Tsuzuki waited until Tatsumi had disappeared around the corridor to shut the door. With a sigh, he leaned back against it once it was closed. He knew that Tatsumi was only concerned for him after what had happened in Kamakura, probably even still concerned after the incident in Kyoto, and he appreciated it. But he hated to be reminded of how much he was worrying the older shinigami, and that was what Tatsumi was doing by constantly looking over him.

He knew that he should go to see Hisoka. He felt horrible for not visiting him, but every time he thought for the briefest second that he had worked up the courage, it faded away just that quickly. It was a mystery to him what he was so afraid of. It was only Hisoka, after all, but still . . . something continued to gnaw at him.

He had waited too long, he realized. If he went now, he would have to see Hisoka upset with him - not for anything that had happened, no. Upset with him because he had never come to see him. Tsuzuki didn't know if he would be able to look into those conflicted eyes, misery and anger all at once, and be able to fight his own insecurities, his own fear.

How could he help Hisoka, when he couldn't even save himself?

How could he care about someone again, after what had happened to the last person he had loved?

Hisoka deserved something better. Hisoka deserved someone that would care for him unconditionally, someone that would be able to make room in their life for him. Someone that would push away the past to be with him.

Tsuzuki didn't think he would ever be able to be that person.

Terazuma was seated on the steps of the Meifu Diet Building when Tsuzuki arrived at work the next morning. The younger shinigami had a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth, and when Tsuzuki passed him, he said nothing to his senior. Nor did Tsuzuki give a word of greeting to him -- for once, not because they did not get along, but because Terazuma saw that Tsuzuki was troubled and did not want to bother him, and Tsuzuki did not have the energy to argue.

Tsuzuki was late, as usual, and found when he entered the building that Konoe had already given his assignment briefing. Watari and Wakaba were taking care of a few last minute necessities, and once they were done, they would be departing for Chijou.

Tsuzuki knew that he would only be in the way, and thus disappeared into his office, intending to stay until someone came and told him they were ready to leave. That way he could neatly avoid everyone, and maybe, if he was lucky, be able to sleep some.

He should have known that he could never be so fortunate.

No more than five minutes after he had sat down and propped his feet up on the desk, was there a very light knock at the door. He considered ignoring it and pretending that he was not there at all, but when he did not reply for more than a minute, the door was gently nudged open and Tatsumi stepped through. Tsuzuki felt his muscles tightening involuntarily; he had become uncomfortable Tatsumi, because of his fear that he was hurting the older shinigami. But Tatsumi did not seem to notice.

"You will be leaving shortly," he said, almost offhandedly. "You should say good-bye to Kurosaki-kun before you go."

Tsuzuki took a hesitant moment to reply.

"I know."

Tatsumi turned away from him, preparing to leave. "The others will wait for you," he said. "Take as long as you need." And with that he disappeared from Tsuzuki's sight.

Tsuzuki sighed. Tatsumi was right. He had to see Hisoka before they departed. He had no idea what would happen, given that it was Muraki that they were searching for, and he had no idea if any of them would escape unscathed. If something did happen, he knew that he would regret it if he had never had the chance to talk to Hisoka before he . . . well, quite possibly 'died'.

There seemed to be no one around when Tsuzuki emerged from his office, not even Watari or Wakaba. He could only assume they had gone to fetch Terazuma, who was going along with this assignment rather grudgingly, given his general opinion of Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki made a silent vow to behave himself this time. It would save all of them quite a bit of trouble.

He wandered down the winding halls, eventually drawing closer and closer to the infirmary than he would have liked to been. And before he was quite aware of it himself, he had arrived.

He paused outside the door. He had no idea what to say. Much less did he know if Hisoka even wanted to see him, given how long he had been here without Tsuzuki coming to see him even once.

Tsuzuki drew in a deep breath and prepared himself for the cold shoulder he was bound to be given. It was now or never. If he left now, he knew that he would never come back.

Knocking lightly on the doorframe to announce his presence, Tsuzuki poked his head into the room with a bright smile on his face. "Hiya Hisoka!"

Hisoka's eyes whipped around from their careful contemplation of the sakura tree outside the bedroom window. Tsuzuki kept the false smile plastered on his face and came completely into the room, plopping down in a chair that was not far from Hisoka's bedside.

"Sorry I didn't come sooner," he said, "but Tatsumi's been keeping me reeeeeeally busy."

Hisoka raised both eyebrows. Tsuzuki expected him to believe that lie? Even if it was true, and Tatsumi had been keeping Tsuzuki busy, Tsuzuki was too much of a slacker to dedicate all of his time to his work. He would have never done it all.

"I was going to bring from breakfast donuts or something, but then I remembered that you don't like sweets much, so...." Tsuzuki trailed off hopelessly. He didn't know how long he could keep up this face.

"Um, well, me and Wakaba-chan and Watari and Terazuma are being sent out on assignment together," he continued, searching for anything, anything at all to say. "We probably won't be back for awhile, since it's pretty serious . . . but I guess you probably already knew that if Tatsumi told you, huh?"

"Tsuzuki."

He looked up. Hisoka was no longer looking at him.

"Shut up."

Tsuzuki bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Hisoka."

"You're really an idiot." Hisoka was speaking in the same flat, indifferent tone of voice that he had always used with Tsuzuki when they had first become partners. And his eyes never left his careful contemplation of the sakura tree.

"The entire time I was in here, you know what the one thing I wanted was?"

Tsuzuki was practically gnawing his lip raw. "No, Hisoka . . ."

"I wanted to see you. I wanted to be sure that you were all right, because I knew that after all that happened, you'd blame yourself and I wanted to tell you that it wasn't your fault at all. You were only doing what you had to do.

"But you know, since you stayed away so long, it made you seem even more guilty. So maybe it /was/ your fault."

Tsuzuki drew back, stung. He knew that there were innumerable incidents that were blatantly his fault. The destruction of the library, when he had been possessed by Saagantanasu, or when his and Terazuma's fighting had cause half of the newly rebuilt library to be destroyed as well. He knew that those things were his fault, as did the other shinigami, but no one had ever come out and said to his face that it was his fault and he was to blame.

"Stupid," Hisoka said softly, looking at his pitiful face. "I don't mean that."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes. "It's true. It is my fault. It's my fault that you were hurt and Kai was abducted and Nagare was killed. I didn't do anything to stop it, so . . . I'm the one to blame."

"Tsuzuki, dammit, sometimes there are times when someone /is/ to blame and sometimes there are times when it's just the fault of circumstance! This is one of those times!"

Startled by the force of Hisoka's voice, Tsuzuki lifted his head and looked at him. Hisoka now had his eyes on him, but he was angry, that much Tsuzuki could tell. He was finding it difficult to not give in to the urge to break away from that gaze. But he knew that it would only frustrate Hisoka more.

"I'm sorry," he whispered dully.

It was because Hisoka knew that he had hurt him that he was frustrated. He let out an explosive sigh.

"Tsuzuki, I didn't mean it, really. I was just upset that you never came."

"I tried to. But I didn't know how to face you after everything that had happened. So I only came at night when I knew that you were asleep. It made me feel less guilty, coming at night . . . but that means I was probably just doing it for myself, not you . . ."

Tsuzuki brought up his hands to his face, so that his voice became muffled.

"I'm sorry, Hisoka. I'm sorry I'm so selfish."

Hisoka's expression softened. "Tsuzuki."

Gingerly, he reached out and pressed the palm of his hand against Tsuzuki's cheek, finding it warm and wet to the touch. Tsuzuki was crying. Hisoka sighed and gently forced him to look up from his hands.

"It's okay, Tsuzuki. I understand."

He slipped his arms around the older shinigami's shoulders. Tsuzuki went along willingly, and did not object when Hisoka drew him into an embrace. He only buried his face against Hisoka's stomach and wrapped his arms around his waist. Hisoka ran his fingers soothingly through Tsuzuki's hair, the same way Tsuzuki had done for him when they were in Kamakura.

"Please," Hisoka murmured softly. "Please promise not to stay away anymore."

Tsuzuki nodded, and against Hisoka's stomach, his voice came out muffled. "I promise."

Hisoka let out a breath of relieved air. He knew that Tsuzuki was telling the truth. As Tatsumi had once told him, Tsuzuki always said what he meant and meant what he said. He would never lie.

"And . . . promise to stay with me."

Tsuzuki slowly lifted his head to look at him. "Hisoka?"

It reminded him so well of the single request he had made to Hisoka, such a long time ago.

'Can I stay with you?'

"Don't die out there," Hisoka said, trying to brush it off nonchalantly. "Because . . . it is Muraki that you're going against, and I can't be with you, so . . . I'll worry."

Tsuzuki smiled. With a contented sigh, he settled more comfortably into Hisoka's arms.

"I promise, Hisoka. I'll stay with you."