Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monster GX Fan Fiction ❯ No Pairing Left Unmocked! ❯ JadenxAlexis ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
A/N: And now it’s time for everyone’s favorite pairing-JadenxAlexis!

(Crickets chirp)

Not much more to say, really.

Disclaimer: I don’t own GX. If you were thinking I’d be saying a joke now, you’re mistaken. I’m fresh out of disclaimer jokes.

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One uneventful day at Duel Academy, Atticus was thinking up an Evil Plan.

He was hidden away in his Secret Lair (which was actually a broom closet, but who was keeping track?). He was also wearing the outfit he always wore when thinking up Evil Plans. This outfit consisted of a feather boa, leather pants with sequins on them, and, perhaps most importantly, a pink T-shirt that said “LOLZ I’M GAY!” on it.

Now...all he had to do was think up an actual plan.

His previous Evil Plan had been taking pictures of Alexis when she was in one of the hot springs. That plan had not worked so well-it had taken days for Atticus to get the mace out of his eyes.

The Evil Plan before that had not been much more effective. Atticus’s memory of it was slightly hazy, because Alexis had given him a nasty concussion. But he did remember that it had involved whipped cream.

Atticus had forgotten the first rule of Evil Plans at the time: nothing good ever happens when whipped cream is involved.

Suddenly, it hit him! He had just come up with the Evil Plan to end all Evil Plans. This was his best idea yet.

Now, all he had to do was find that tuxedo...

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At precisely 3:19 PM and 47 seconds, a scream was heard around the entire island.

“AAAHHHH! HELP MEEEEE!”

Alexis came running out of the woods, tears streaming from her face. She was so upset, she had forgotten all her previous rules about being independent and self-willed. Soon, she reached a spot where Jaden and Atticus just happened to be walking by.

“OMG IT’S HORRIBLE!” Alexis sobbed. And yes, she did pronounce it like “oh-em-gee.”

Atticus asked, “Hey, what’s wrong, sis?” No one even noticed that he was holding something behind his back where Alexis couldn’t see it.

Alexis, who was still too sad to talk in lower-case letters, screamed, “CHAZZ FLASHED MEEEEEE!”

A random voice from the woods answered, “I did not!”

“YES YOU DID!”

“But someone stole my belt!”

Atticus curled the hand that was behind his back, which just so happened to be holding a belt. He was quite pleased. Step One of the Evil Plan had been a total success. Now, as soon as Alexis stopped talking in caps-lock, it would be time to move onto Step Two.

Eventually, Alexis did calm down somewhat. But without a boyfriend, she felt lost. She needed love to survive! If she didn’t have a boyfriend, who would star in fluffy one-shots involving rainbows and chocolate ice cream?

Yes, it was official. Alexis had to find a boyfriend as soon as possible; preferably within the next half-hour. But who would be the lucky guy?

Atticus grinned an Evil Grin. He knew just what his sister was thinking. After all, he liked boys as much as she did, so he had some insight into situations like these. Now would be the perfect time for Step Two.

Atticus stealthily put the belt into one of the back pockets of his jeans (of course, he had changed out of the Evil Plan outfit by now), paused briefly to consider the slight innuendo of this action, then snapped his fingers behind his back.

A cloud of pink sparks randomly surrounded Jaden, and when it abated, he had undergone a magical transformation! Yes...Jaden was wearing a Sonic the Hedgehog costume!

Wait...what? Oops, wrong outfit.

Atticus sheepishly snapped his fingers again, as Jaden and Alexis blinked in confusion. The pink sparks surrounded Jaden once more. There...now THAT was the right outfit!

Jaden was dressed in a tuxedo. The jacket and pants were made out of gray wool, the shirt was white linen, and the tie was silk with yellow smiley faces on it. All of this was very important to Atticus. He had made the whole outfit himself, after all.

But most importantly, the tuxedo was perfectly tailored, and showed off all of Jaden’s rippling, sexy muscles.
Wait a minute, does Jaden even have rippling, sexy muscles? Well, he has them now.

Alexis saw all this, and her problems were immediately solved. She had never noticed before just how sexy and debonair Jaden was!

“Alexis, my dah-ling,” said Jaden in a posh accent, “I am here for you.”

Alexis’s eyes turned into hearts due to all the suaveness.

In the woods, Chazz shouted, “Hey! No fair!”

Alexis ran over to Jaden in slow motion, with pink clouds and sparkles in the background. As soon as she reached him, they made out for the next several hours.

Atticus quickly moved on to Step Three. He took 11290311332 pictures of Jaden and Alexis making out, then ran back to his room. He turned on his computer, and downloaded all of the pictures on his Myspace page.

Atticus also tried to post a video of himself singing, but for some reason the computer refused to download it. It kept spitting the disk back out, then crashing.

Oh well. Forget about the singing...Atticus’s Evil Plan had been a success! Now he would rule Myspace for at least two hours.

Atticus thought about doing an Evil Laugh, but decided it was too cliched. Instead, he started looking for gay porn.

A month later, Alexis became pregnant, and she and Jaden automatically became mature, responsible adults who could afford to raise a baby. Alexis had no pregnancy complications, and she soon had twins, who were named Mary Sue and Gary Stu. Everyone was happy forevermore.

THE END



EPILOGUE

Bastion looked out from his hiding place. Everything seemed okay, so he cautiously emerged into the open.

“Could it be...?” He said to himself, “Could a whole chapter have just gone by without me getting hit by anything?”

Just then, a random ice cream truck fell out of the sky and landed right on top of Bastion.
Bastion only said one word as he crawled out from under the truck:
“Bugger.”






Chapter 2
Chapter 4
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