Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monster GX Fan Fiction ❯ No Pairing Left Unmocked! ❯ ZanexSyrus ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
A/N: As much as I wanted to write this chapter, it took me forever to come up with a plot. Of course, the word “plot” is relatively speaking, but I still had to spend at least a few minutes on it.

So anyway...this chapter is ZanexSyrus. It’ll be a bit dialogue-heavy, since a lot of fics with this pairing have that tendency. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don’t own GX. If I happen to create new cliches in this story, I apologize in advance.

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One night, Syrus was standing beside the lighthouse in deep thought.

Yeah, real original. One might guess that the lighthouse area would be crowded, since everyone in the whole friggin school seems to go there all the time to mull over their thoughts. However, tonight it was vacated due to a plot device.

The same plot device caused Zane to find himself arriving at the lighthouse as well. He had been planning to just stand around and look emo. However, once he saw Syrus, he felt obligated to start a conversation.

“Hello, Syrus,” he said in a monotonous voice.

“Hello, brother dearest,” replied Syrus in the same tone.

“How was your day?”

“It was fine.”

“What do you think about...” here Zane rustled some sheets of paper, “the new baseball field?”

Here Syrus paused.

Finally, he said, “Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea reading from these scripts after all, Zane.”

Zane agreed, and both brothers tossed their extremely dull and stilted scripts into the wind. The papers blew into Bastion’s face. Since the author is feeling lazy, nothing else of note happened to Bastion in this chapter (for which he is very thankful).

Now that Syrus didn’t have to follow the words on the script, he performed his trademark maneuver: he burst into emo tears.

“I can’t go on like this anymore!” he sobbed.

“Neither can I,” replied Zane somberly, “It’s time we admitted our true feelings to each other.”

“Syrus...I randomly decided over the past thirty seconds that I am in love with you.”

Syrus looked confused.

“Um...okay. I was just upset because I ran out of my favorite shampoo, and I keep having to use Jaden’s kind until I can buy some more. But I guess incest will work fine too!”

There was a pause. Then, it was time for the obligatory conversation about religion that everyone skips over anyway, because they want to get to the good parts.

“Um...Zane, you do know we’re going to Hell, right?”


“Okay, good. I just wanted us to be on the same page!” Syrus made a facial expression like this: ^ ^

Then, Zane and Syrus shared a Magical Incestuous Kiss, which used its magical powers to teleport them to Zane’s room.

The Magical Incestuous Sex which followed can be best described by the following generic purple prose:

Blah blah blah angel, blah blah honey, blah blah rosebuds, bla bla tight virgin entrance, blah blah blah blah.

(Random A/N that has nothing to do with anything whatsoever: Awww, how cute! LOL)

They didn’t use lube. Magical Incestuous Sex requires no lube to work its magic. They didn’t use condoms either, since only silly people worry about STDs.

When all was said and done (but mostly done), Zane and Syrus fell asleep, not even pausing to consider what would happen if someone barged into Zane’s room and found them together.

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Th e next morning, Zane and Syrus had Magical Incestuous Sex eleven times in five minutes, ignoring their morning breath. It could be described by the same purple prose as before, except omitting the word “virgin”.

After that, Zane decided to randomly use some fangirl Japanese to give the story an air of sophistication.

“Syrus...you’re so kawaii.”
However, Syrus was not as used to fangirl Japanese as was his brother.

“Ka...what? What does that mean, Zane?”

“It’s an over-used Japanese word that means ‘cute’.”

“Oh. I thought it was some sort of tropical fruit-flavored liqueur or something.”


For the first time in hours, there was a short amount of time that was not filled by sleep or Magical Incestuous Sex. Then they decided that it was time to get ready for class.

Once in class, they started making out in the middle of Crowler’s lecture. No one thought that this was unusual.

The next day, Zane and Syrus got engaged. Syrus wore a ring that had a pretty pink diamond on it. No one thought that any of this was odd either. After all, it was only their love that mattered. Who cared if said love was technically illegal and could get Zane thrown in jail? Also, who cared that diamonds weren’t supposed to be pink?

A week later, they had the wedding. Naturally, Syrus wore the dress. Alexis was the bridesmaid, Jaden was the best man, Chazz was the flower girl, and Pharaoh was the ring-bearer. Bastion wasn’t invited.

The honeymoon took place in Hawaii. It was very pleasant, once they got Atticus to stop stalking them with his camera. When they got back, Syrus was pregnant. It was never explained just how this happened, since that might take actual research. Instead, everyone just took it for granted that a guy could have a biologically impossible pregnancy.

Zane and Syrus dropped out of school and settled down in a nice little cottage out in the country. Comical, fluffy pregnancy-related hijinks and banter resulted. Since the magic of the incestuous sex had made this an AU, Zane did not turn into Hell Kaiser. The baby was a beautiful girl, and displayed no genetic mutations due to inbreeding. Syrus had no lasting bad health, despite the fact that he had carried a seven-pound baby in his large intestine.

They had wanted to name the baby “Mary Sue”, but Jaden and Alexis had already taken that name for their baby. So they settled on the next best name: Kawaii Zana Truesdale. Everyone agreed that this was just about the best name ever, and proceeded to live happily ever after for the fourth time.