Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction / Outlaw Star Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Trigun Fan Fiction / FLCL Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction / Samurai Deeper Kyo Fan Fiction / Shaman King Fan Fiction / Excel Saga Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO) Fan Fiction ❯ What isn't nailed down is mine ❯ Hot springs, shot in the head, and a minion too ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

=Trigun, in the middle of some town=

Ed: *Comes in* Now what?

People: *Look at Ed weirdly*

Ed: Oh my God! I-I'm …FREE!!! I can kill anyone or thing I want without her bitching! *Takes out Vash's gun* Whoo! *Runs over to a guy and his kid* HELLO!

Guy: Um Hello. Can I help you?

Ed: Yes you can. *Shoots guy*

Kid: You killed my daddy!

Ed: Yeah, now I'll kill you! *Shoots kid*

People: O.O

Ed: RUN!! I'm going on a killing spree! *Shoots another person*

People: *Starts running around freaking out*

Ed: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *Chases after people*

=Inu-Yasha, the village=

Kasumi: *Comes in with an emotionless face on and walks forward*

Inu-Yasha: *Sitting in front of Kaede's hut and sees Kasumi* Hey its that girl.

Miroku: She's back…again! YES!!

Kasumi: *Starts sobbing* Mir-oku-san…MIROKU-SAN!!! *Runs to Miroku* Get out of my way! *Pushes Inu-Yasha down*

Inu-Yasha: Ow!

Kasumi: MIROKU-SAN!! *Gets to him and falls to her knees and grabs his waist, crying* Oh Miroku-san! I suck! I suck really hard!!

Miroku: *Looks down at where Kasumi's face is* You don't say.

Inu-Yasha: Where's your friend?

Kasumi: Oh god! *Buries her face further on Miroku's, um…body* Ed and I had a fight and she hates me now! *Cries harder* P-pl-please Miroku-san, help me feel better.

Miroku: So she isn't here? *Looks around expecting Ed to jump out and kill him for saying the wrong thing*

Kasumi: That's right. No more Ed!

Miroku: Wahoo! I mean I'm sorry.

Kasumi: Oh Miroku-san I blew it! Now, I'll just blow you too! I'll blow all my friendships cause I'm a bad friend!

Miroku: I like the sound of that. Um you want to talk about it?

Kasumi: Yeah I want to talk about Ed.

Miroku: Oh, okay *Thinks* That wasn't what I was talking about!!


Ed: *Standing on top of a mountain of corpses and the town is obliterate* MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! …Now what?

Legato: *Looks around* Well my job is done and I didn't have to do a thing.

Ed: What do you mean "your job" Legato?

Legato: How did you know my name woman?

Ed: *Jumps down and gets all dark* We know all!

Legato: Who's we?

Ed: *Looks for Kasumi* Er, Shut up and take me to Knives!

Legato: What business do you have with Knives?

Knives: I saw her total the town. I wish to talk with her.

Legato: Master. *Bows*

Ed: Can I be a Gun oh gun?

Knives: Sure.

Ed: YAY!!

Knives: Only if you do something for me.

Ed: What is it?

Knives: Kill my brother: Vash the stampede, in front of me!

Ed: Okay. Where is he?

Knives: In there. *Points to the only building left in the town, the bar*

Ed: Okay! *Goes to the bar*

Knives: *Sniggers* I can't believe she's really gonna do it.

=Inside the bar=

Everyone: *Unharmed and unaware of the rubble of a town outside*

Vash: Hey you! Hello again. *Waves to get Ed attention to him*

Ed: *Sits next to Vash* Hey.

Vash: You finally gonna pay now?

Ed: What?

Vash: For the drinks from last time we met.

Ed: What are you talking about?

Vash: *Shows Ed Kasumi's note*

Ed: *Reads the note* SON OF A BITCH!! THAT'S WHAT SHE WROTE!!

Meryl: Where's your psycho friend? What's her name? Kasumi. Is she with you or did she stay in that Inu-Yasha place?

Ed: What?!?! Don't you dare mention that name to me!! *Hits Meryl over the head with Vash's gun*

Vash: Hey my gun! I was wondering where that got to.

Ed: *Keeps hitting Meryl* Never, EVER even THINK of saying that name in my presents!!!

Wolfwood: What happened? Did she die or did you two have a disagreement?

Ed: *Stops hitting Meryl and gets in Wolfwood's face* It's none of your business you pedantic waste of life!!

Vash: You two seemed very close when you weren't hitting her with that newspaper.

Ed: *Turns to Vash* Don't start with me plant boy. You won't win.

Wolfwood: plant boy?!

Meryl: Vash isn't a plant!

Ed: Oh, if you only knew what I do.

Vash: Um, want to have a round with us?

Ed: Hell yeah!

Meryl: Maybe this will help you forget that Kasumi girl.

Ed: I TOLD YOU NOT TO MENTION THAT NAME!!! *Shoots Meryl in the head*

Vash: YAY I'M FREE!! I mean: NO MERYL!!

Ed: Ha! I never really liked her anyway.

Vash: *Thinks for a minute*… LETS DRINK SOME MORE!!



Kasumi: oh Miroku-san, why does it hurt so much?

Miroku: When you lose something it can hurt, but something can replace it, if you look hard enough.

Kasumi: R-really? *Wipes tears away*

Miroku: Really. *Kisses Kasumi*

Kasumi: *Blushes* Oh Miroku-san, what if someone catches us?

Miroku: Don't worry about it. * Kisses Kasumi's neck and runs his hands around her thighs*

Kasumi: Miroku-san you're so cool and strong and sexy too.

Miroku: *Starts playing with her chest* I know you're unhappy now, but give me a chance and I'll make you happy again. *Parts her legs*

Kasumi: Oh Miroku-san take me now! *Wraps her legs around his waist*

Miroku: *Smirks*

Kasumi: Miroku-san? Miroku-san? Miroku-san?

~End Miroku's daydream~

Kasumi: *Sitting on Miroku's lap shaking him* Miroku-san?!

Miroku: *Finally snaps out of it* What?

Kasumi: *Sobs a little* You're gonna get screwed, and I mean hard if you stay with me. I don't think you would want that.

Miroku: I'm hoping for it.

Kagome: Well Kasumi it sounds like you and Ed are still friends its just you two had a disagreement on where you wanted to go next. Its just miscommunication. That happens all the time with people. *Looks at Inu-Yasha*

Inu-Yasha: *Sitting in a tree and looks down at the girls and Miroku* What? Why are you staring at me like that?

Kagome: You should go and apologize to her.

Sango: That always helps.

Kasumi: I would if I could, but Ed's in Trigun and has the 8 ball, so it's up to her. When Ed is mad she stays mad for quite a while.

Sango: Well you shouldn't have insulted your friend to begin with.

Kasumi: I know. *Sigh* I wish I could have something to eat and a bath.

Kagome: *Goes into her book bag* Here snack on this. *Hands her a bag of cheetos*

Kasumi: *Snatches the cheetos and hugs them* Ed does that with the endless bag of…stuff! *Starts crying again*

Miroku: *Hugs Kasumi* Ssssss. Its okay my Dear. I have something to make you feel better. *Grins *

Kasumi: I don't want it I want Ed!

Miroku: *Frowns* oh…*Daydreams again*

Sango: Lets take a bath. It will help us talk, just the girls.

Kasumi: T-thanks Sango. You're so nice to me.

Sango: Heck I should be thanking you for getting Miroku off my ass.

Kagome: *Giggles* Yeah we girls got to stick together. *Winks* We'll show you where the hot springs are, come on. *Looks at Inu-Yasha and Miroku* You two better not peek!

Inu-Yasha: *Blushes* I wouldn't do that! Its not like I was thinking about it or anything…

Kagome: HM. Lets go Sango, Kasumi!


Knives: What the hell is taking her so damn long?

Legato: I do not know master.

=Inside Bar=

Ed: WHOO!!

Wolfwood: HAHAHA, This great!!

Meryl: x_x *Still dead*

Millie: *Pointing and laughing at Meryl* HA, She's dead!

Vash: I demand Donuts!!

Ed: *blinks* I think I forgot something. *Takes a drink* Oh yeah! Hey guys I got something outside to show you!

Vash: What is it?

Ed: UM, it's a surprise.

Vash: oh…*Raises arms up* SURPISE!!!! *Runs outside*

Wolfwood: Wait up needle noggin! *Goes after Vash*

Ed: *Goes to the door*

Bartender: Hey you gonna pay?

Ed: No *Takes out Vash's gun and grins* See ya all in hell! *Shoots everyone, but the bartender*

Bartender: O.O Drinks on the house.


Knives: X

Legato: O

Knives: X. Tic tac toe three in a row.

Ed: *Comes in covered in blood* Hello!

Vash: *Points to Knives* Hey I know you! You're the monkey Ed was talking about. *Grins*

Knives: No I'm your brother: Knives.

Vash: Sure ya are. *Winks* Your secret is safe with me! *Falls down*

Knives: Shut up you dumbass! *Puts hand on Ed's shoulder* Now the new Gun oh gun will that care of you!

Ed: AH!! *Shoots Knives in the head*

Knives: x_x *He's kinda dead, a bullet to the head will do that to ya*

Legato: HOLY SHIT!! You killed master!!

Wolfwood: You Bastard! Hey look at the blood!

Ed: You just cussed Legato! You never cuss… how did you know that saying?

Wolfwood: It just came to me.

Vash: *Jumps up* WHOO This is my lucky day! I'm fr-oh my god you killed him!

Ed: Yeah?

Vash: …I'm free! Lets go get wasted…EVEN MORE!!

Legato: What about me?

Wolfwood: Come on and have fun with us!

Wolfwood, Legato, and Ed: DRINKS!!

Vash: DONUTS!!!! *Runs to the bar*

=At the bar=

Vash: Crap, what the hell happened and where are my Donuts?

Ed: Hey bartender! Give us liquor now or die!

Bartender: Y-yes ma'am!

Ed: That's right bitch!!


Kasumi: This is really nice. *Splashes water on her face*

Kagome: Yeah, but not as good as a normal bath.

Kasumi: True, but I usually take showers.

Kagome: I almost always take baths unless I'm in a hurry

Kasumi: Oi, I get up too early to.

Kagome: I don't usually go to school any more, so I can take a bath whenever I want.

Kasumi: Wish I could do that, but America has strict laws about school and crap.

Kagome: Oh, You're from America? I didn't know.

Kasumi: Yeah.

Sango: Kagome, what is America?

Kagome: It's a place far away in my time. Don't worry about it Sango

Sango: oh

Kasumi: *Sigh* Its nice to relax every once and a while.

Kagome: Yeah. Finding the shards is harder than it sounds. And it sounded hard in the first place!

Kasumi: Yeah, taking stuff from people is no picnic too.

Kagome: Well, I'm not a thief, so I wouldn't know.

Kasumi: Well, we try and be nice about it.

Kagome: Well, your friend wasn't nice when she whacked Miroku unconscious with his own staff.

Kasumi: *blushes* Yeah I know, but she means well…half the time.

Sango: Really? She took Sesshomaru's Clothes and he had to beg Inu-Yasha to give him some new ones. How did she mean well by that?

Kasumi: HAHAHA!! R-really?! I oh god I wish I could have seen that! HAHA!

Kagome: I wasn't really that funny it was just really pathetic.

Kasumi: But that's Sessy-sama! He maybe a dog demon, but never ever begs.

Sango: Well, when you're naked behind a bush, you'll do anything for clothes.

Kasumi: Hey, did Rin ever come back?

Kagome: *Sigh* No she's still out there. Sesshomaru got pissed as all hell and went to find her though.

Kasumi: Sheesh, how much can see buy with ten bucks?

Kagome: Who knows?

Kasumi: *Smiles* Ed and I talk like this all the time at home.

Kagome: Really? You must miss her. You keep mentioning her.

Kasumi: Yeah, I do. It's just that she's my best friend. If I don't talk to her that means I have to replace her with Kislio-chan or Lor-chan or Raoulak-san and I couldn't do that.

Sango: Are those more friends of yours?

Kasumi: Yeah less insane then Ed, but if I did replace her, our whole group wouldn't be the same. I mean who would be Kurama?

Sango and Kagome: Who's Kurama?

Kasumi: Um how do I explain that? *Thinks*

Kagome: Just tell the truth

Kasumi: Well it doesn't matter. What does is where there's a Hiei there has to be a Kurama.

Kagome: And who's this Hiei?

Kasumi: O.O *Stands up* Hiei is the best! The best short half fire demon half ice demon black wearing sword wielding black dragon master Jagan master ever! *Goes back down* Sorry *blushes*

Kagome: 0.o A demon?

Sango: You talk about him very defensively. Is it because you have feelings for him?

Kasumi: I idolize him! He's soooooo cool! Plus I love his hair.

Kagome: His hair?

Kasumi: Yeah, if I had my computer I'd show ya.

Kagome: You have pictures of him on your computer?

Kasumi: Only 489.

Kagome: 0.o Uhhh...Wow

Sango: I'd say you more than idolize him-I say you love him!! *Points accusingly to Kasumi* ADMIT IT!!

Kasumi: What can I say I'm a fan girl. Hee hee.

Miroku: *Pops out of bushes* Kasumi, how could you?!?!? What about me?!?!

Kasumi: oh Miroku-san *Stands up* I like you too, very much. I wouldn't do that to you.

Miroku: *Drools* Do what exactly, dear Kasumi?

Kasumi: If it makes you feel better I have about the same amount for you and a lot of music videos too. *Smiles*

Miroku: *Gulps then wipes mouth with sleeve* It does. Now, Can I have a hug? *Holds arms out and smiles*

Kasumi: You're so cute! *Grabs him in a hug and pulls his head down to her chest* I could just eat you up! *Smiles*

Miroku: Really now? * Get wicked smile on face as his hand moves to Kasumi's butt*

Kasumi: For what? EEP! Something's touching me! *Falls back and takes Miroku with her* WHOA!

Miroku: I like where this is going!

Kasumi: *Her upper body under the water with her legs up in the air* *Gargle, Gargle*

Sango: Miroku!! You jerk!! Let her up!!!

Kagome: Inu-Yasha!!!! HELP!!!!!

Kasumi: *Pushes Miroku off her* Why do I always get the lack of air? *Looks at him* You all right? Your nose is bleeding.

Miroku: *Wipes nose* Yes Kasumi dearest.

Kasumi: *Blinks* Are you sure? I have the weirdest feeling like something should happen.

Miroku: Do you want something to happen Kasumi? *Smiles*

Inu-Yasha: *Lands on Miroku's head* Kagome what's wrong?

Kagome: Thank god your here Inu-Yasha! Miroku spied on us than groped Kasumi!!

Kasumi: Hn, is that what happened?

Inu-Yasha: *Glances around* Where is that dirty pervert?

Kasumi: Pervert? Um, under your foot.

Inu-Yasha: Huh? *Looks down* Oh. *Picks Miroku up* Well? What do you have to say for yourself?

Miroku: What? She's my woman and she wanted it!

Kagome: She likes someone else Miroku! Didn't you hear what she said about that Hiei guy?

Miroku: Didn't you hear what she said about me? Also haven't you seen the way we…well you know.

Kagome: Miroku, she just said that to make you feel better!

Miroku: That's a lie damn it!

Kagome: Inu-Yasha, just take him away!!!!

Miroku: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *Grabs hold of Kasumi*

Inu-Yasha: Miroku!! Let go of the poor girl and lets go!!!!

Inu-Yasha: Miroku, I'll tell you one more time nicely. LET GO OF HER!!!

Kasumi: I'll see ya later tonight, and then we talk. Okay?

Miroku-YAY!! *Lets go* Come along Inu-Yasha. Let the girls finish their bath. *Starts to walk off*

Kasumi: My, he has a lot of mood swings.

Sango: *Sighs* Lets just finish our bath

Kasumi: Kay.


Kuroneko-sama (The cat): Mow

Ed: *Grabs Kuroneko-sama by the tail and puts him in the endless bag of…stuff* Its not the same… *Pulls Kuroneko-sama out*

Kuroneko-sama: Mow *Walks away*

Ed: Oh well*Grabs Kuroneko-sama by the head and puts him back in*

Wolfwood: *On the ground laughing*

Ed: *Head lying on bar* Man, I'm so freak'n wasted *hiccups* I think I need to barf

Vash: *Having a hard time standing up* Freedom hurts

Ed: *Raises arm* Amen brother, amen.

Vash: Who is you gaining freedom from?

Ed: *Lifts head* I don't know if I should tell you...

Vash: Go ahead it's not good to keep things bottled up

Ed: *Sighs* Yeah your right. I guess you guys could help me then. I got freedom from Kasumi.

Vash: Who's that?

Ed: The girl who was with me last time. She's my best friend Kasumi. *Sighs* or most likely, ex-best friend after what happened *Puts head in hands* I'm such an idiot

Vash: Oh yeah! SO what makes ya think you two aren't friends?

Ed: Well, we got in a huge fight. Not one of our normal ones. No, this one was REALLY bad.

Vash: Tell me!

Ed: Well... She called Kurama gay. She always does that and knows it pisses me off. But I was in a bad mood because she would let me kill anyone and let them stay dead, so I slapped her. Then we augured and I came here and she went to Inu-Yasha.

Vash: You shouldn't kill people!

Ed: *Takes head out of hands* But it's soooooo much fun!!! Have you ever tried it Vash?

Vash: NO!

Ed: *Shrugs* Your loss

Vash: This reminds me of a story!

Ed: Will it help me and my Kasumi problem?

Vash: It will make a point.

Ed: Fine then *Gets comfy on stool* Tell away.

Vash: Well it started a long time ago...

=10 hours later=

Vash and that's why I never ate cheese like that again!

Ed: *Head tilted back, drool coming out of open mouth, and eyes rolling in the back of head*

Wolfwood: *Knocks Vash down* Shut up you idiot! Here let me explain it!

Ed: *Snaps to attention and hugs Wolfwood* Thank you

Vash: Ow my head!

Ed: Quiet you!

Wolfwood: Just go to her and say, "I'm sorry"! For where to go next just flip a coin!

Ed: Holy shit. It's so simple...

Wolfwood: Then do it!

Ed: You got it priest man! *Pulls out 8 ball* I just hope she forgives me. Oh Magical Dimensional 8 ball....

Legato: WAIT!!! *Grabs Ed's leg*

Ed: EEEP!!! *Looks down* Don't scare me like that!!!

Legato: Don't leave me!

Ed: 0.o WHAT?

Legato: You killed the master and....I got no place left to go!!!!!!

Ed: So in other words, you want to be my minion?

Legato: That's the just of it

Ed: YAY!! My first minion!!! Welcome to my world of insanity Legato.

Legato: Lets go!

Ed: That's the spirit!! Magical Dimensional 8 Ball of magic take Legato and me to Inu-Yasha!!!!

Magical Dimensional 8 ball of magic: Whatever missy.

Ed: Yay!!!


Ed and Legato: *Come in*

Legato: *Has a pool ball in his mouth*

Ed: You shouldn't scream like that! *Takes the ball out of his mouth*

Kasumi: Miroku-san how long are you going to be on me like that for?

Ed: What the hell?

Miroku: *Laying his head on Kasumi's chest* Just a bit longer. You're so soft, but just a little cold.

Kasumi: Really? Are my Goosebumps that big?

Miroku: Yeah…bumps.

Ed: Ok- Now I'm pissed...Miroku is going to die!!!

Legato: Who's this "Miroku"?

Ed: A perverted monk who's about to be dead in like.... *Looks at watch* 10 Seconds!!

Kasumi: *giggles* Miroku-san, s-stop I-I'm ticklish t-th-there! HAHAHAHA!

Miroku: *Kissing Kasumi's neck* You know you like it! *Grins*

Ed: *Takes out Vash's gun* All right Legato. I'm going in-Watch my back.

Legato: Yes Master!

Ed: *Stops* Wait...Did you just call me master?

Legato: Yes, I did master.

Ed: *Smiles* Could you say that again? I like how it sounds.

Legato: Master, I think they're getting away. *Points to Miroku and Kasumi walking away*

Ed: Huh?? *Looks* Ahhh!!! Kasumi!!! Wait!!! *Runs after*

Kasumi: *Sneeze* I think someone it is talking about me. *Smiles*

Miroku: Well, I know I'm thinking about you. *Picks Kasumi up* Come on lets go have some fun! *Grins*

Kasumi: YAY FUN!


Kasumi: ED!!!!

Miroku: E-D?! NO! Why do you do this to me!! Just when we're about bout to!

Ed: Don't even say it you perverted little monkey!!

Inu-Yasha: What's going on here I heard yelling! *Sees Ed* AH She's back!!

Ed: Damn right I'm back!! You people think I was gonna let THAT *Points to Miroku with Vash's gun* Be with MY best friend?!?! I think not!! She belongs with Hiei anyways.

Inu-Yasha: You think he's being bad now you should have seen him in the hot springs.

Ed: *Turns to Miroku* WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!?!?!

Kasumi: He just wanted a hug and I slipped.

Ed: *Narrows eyes* Oh really? Inu-Yasha, Kagome, Sango-Would one of you please elaborate for my friend?

Miroku: *Gulps* I better write my will.

Ed: *Glares at Miroku* Oh? It was that bad, huh? Please, One of you beside Kasumi tell me what happened.

Kasumi: Oh no Miroku-San are you dying? *Grabs Miroku* PLEASE DON'T DYE!!!! *Shakes Miroku*

Miroku: @_@

Ed: He'll die if he did something wrong. You know what? You people are pissing me off!!

Kasumi: *Hugs Miroku as hard as she can* NO! NO, more killing!

Ed: I won't kill him. Or anyone here in fact.

Kasumi: R-really? Oh, Ed. You don't know how much that means to me.

Ed: Yeah, no problem. Oh. But I can't say anything about my minion. He's quite bloodthirsty-Though not as much as me of course.

Kasumi: Minion? OH GOD I WAS REPLACED-Oh wait, I was never a minion. Who is it?

Ed: *Smiles and snaps fingers*

Legato: *Comes in and bows* Master?

Kasumi: LEGATO?!?!?

Ed: *Smiles* Yeah... He's sooo obedient too. *Pats Legato's head* Good boy!!

Kasumi: But what about Knives?

Ed: Ummmmmmm.........

Kasumi: What the hell did you do?!

Miroku: Kasumi dear, please don't get too worked up, yet.

Kasumi: You're right. Tell me Ed.

Ed: *Twiddles thumbs* It was an accident. Honest

Kasumi: Go ahead I understand if it was an accident. *Smiles*

Ed: Ummmm... I sorta kinda.... Killed him?

Kasumi: How the hell ya do that?

Ed: I got drunk with Vash and shot him in the head.


Ed: I'm sorry!!! I'm SORRY!!! I WAS DRUNK!!!

Kasumi: ER! *Trys to jump on Ed*

Miroku: Calm down! *Holds Kasumi back by holding her under her arm and grabbing her breast *

Legato: Do you want me to kill her master?

Ed: WHAT!!! NO!! *Gets in Legato's face* No matter what she does or says you WILL NOT touch her. Even if it seems she's hurting me, she most likely isn't. So... DON'T TOUCH HER!!!!! Do you understand me?

Legato: Y-Yes m-master!

Ed: *Smiles*

Kasumi:*Still trying to lash out at Ed*

Miroku: *Pulls Kasumi closer to his body* Please calm down. *Kisses Kasumi's neck* For me?

Kasumi: HAHAHA!! Stop I'm very ticklish!

Miroku: I know. *Squeezes Kasumi a little bit*

Ed: *Whirls on Miroku* YOU BASTARD!!!! LEGATO!!! GET HIM!!!

Kasumi: *Blinks* I have that really weird feeling again that something should happen.

Legato: *Goes for Miroku, but almost hits Kasumi*

Ed: Ah! Kasumi!! Legato, stop! You might hit Kasumi!!!

Legato: *Stops an inch in front of Kasumi's face*

Kasumi: *Looks at Legato* You should be more careful. You could hurt someone like that. *Smiles*

Miroku: Yeah!

Legato: Shut up little monk who should have been dead...um *Thinks*...15 seconds ago!

Ed: Yeah!! And please *Puts hand on Legato's shoulder* Be careful. No matter what-NEVER hit Kasumi. Understand?

Miroku: Kill her and you'll have to answer to me!

Inu-Yasha: Right, sure you would...

Ed: Hey!! I'm the only one who gets to protect Kasumi!!

Miroku: Well she has me now, so why does she you to protect her?

Ed: She doesn't have you, damnit!! So go screw yourself- But I'm sure you do that enough as it is, eh Miroku?

Inu-Yasha: HA! You don't know the half of it! He screams! I can never sleep at night without his shouting and moaning about some girl, mainly Kasumi lately!

Miroku: *Blushes* I don't know what you're talking about.

Ed: Oh yes you do you stupid bastard and Inu-Yasha Confirms it!

Kagome: Inu-Yasha, what the hell are you doing listening to Miroku at night?!?!

Inu-Yasha: *Points to his ears* Hello? I've tried to shut it out but he's too loud.

Kagome: EW!

Ed: Miroku such a freaking loser.

Miroku: *Blushes harder*

Ed: I mean come on! Haven't you ever heard of prostitutes?

Miroku: I would never sink down to that level!

Kasumi: What does a prostitute have to do with this?

Ed: Nothing Kasumi. But Miroku, at least that way you may have gotten one of them to have your kid- for the right price

Miroku: I would never do that! I want to do it for love, not just lust...*Softly* and if she happens to be cute too that's just a plus.

Ed: *Puts hand on head* Oh god! You're about as stupid as you are perverted

Kasumi: Ed, why's that?

Ed: Nothing Kasumi. Just ignore Miroku and let's go. I don't care *Smiles* You pick.

Kasumi: Something is about to happen...but I don't know what.

Miroku: Oh god not again! *Covers head*

Ed: What's the loser talking about?

Inu-Yasha: *Sniffs air* Damn that jackass is back!

Koga: *up in a tree* Watch it Dog-boy!

Ed: Yay! Koga!!

Koga: How did you know my name?

Ed: *Gets all dark* We know all.

Legato: Master?

Ed: *Turns to Legato and smiles* What is it my dear minion?

Legato: Do you want me to kill him?

Ed: Hmmmm.... Nah. Koga is actually pretty cool. Besides, Kasumi's try to kick my ass.

Sango: Let me tell you what happened. *Whispers in Ed's ear*

Ed: *Eyes go wide* THAT BASTARD!! *Pulls out Vash's gun* I'LL KICK HIS ASS!!!

Miroku and Kasumi: *Gone*


Legato: *Starts walking*


Legato: *Walks a bit faster*


Kagome: This taking too long! Inu-Yasha, Koga, go get Miroku!

Koga: Of course Kagome. But I don't need dog turds help, he can stay behind.

Inu-Yasha: What you say?! I'm getting that pervert

Koga: No. Me.

Inu-Yasha: NO ME!

Koga: NO ME!

Inu-Yasha: NO ME!!

Koga: NO ME!!

Inu-Yasha: NO ME!!!

Koga: ME!!!

Inu-Yasha: ME!!!!

Koga: ME!!!!

Inu-Yasha: ME!!!!!

Sango: That really isn't getting us anywhere.

Ed: Really. How about BOTH of you go get them?

Inu-Yasha and Koga: NO!

Inu-Yasha: That would defeat the whole purpose of this fight!

Koga: Yeah! Are you stupid or something?

Ed: No!! As a matter of fact I'm quite smart. I also have a 12 grade reading level so there. Dumb dogs.

Koga: I'm a wolf damn it!!! Not some mutt!

Ed: Your close enough!

Inu-Yasha: What you say?!

Koga: You heard me Bitch?!

Ed: ALL RIGHT!!! That's enough!

Kagome: Both of you go!

Koga and Inu-Yasha: Yes ma'am!! *Runs into he woods*

Ed: I admire your control *Mutters under breath* I wonder how I can make Kurama act like that.

=Some where far away in the forest=

Miroku: *Is holding Kasumi, running as fast as she can*

Kasumi: Miroku-san, why are we running?

Miroku: To get away from your crazy friend.

Kasumi: Ed? She isn't crazy.

Miroku: Oh yes she is! And I'm going to keep you away from her. She's scary.

Kasumi: She isn't crazy. She's insane. There's a differences.

Miroku: Really now?

Kasumi: Yeah! Crazy people are in the nut house or the cops have them. Neither has happen to her and she's trying to take over the world...again.

Miroku: Again?!?! What happened the first time?!?!?!

Kasumi: She almost did it, but I cleaned her room so she could get the Internet and she didn't leave her room until school started.

Miroku: All right- I'm keeping as much distance between you and her as possible.

Kasumi: You shouldn't worry about me. You should be worried bout yourself.

Miroku: How so dear?

Kasumi: Because she said: *In the prefect Ed voice* Bring Miroku back alive so I can kill him. *In her normal voice* a while ago. *Smiles*

Miroku: *Almost trips* Kasumi! How did you…? Never mind! I just have to keep running and we'll be fine!

Kasumi: *Looks to the ground* I don't think we're going anywhere.

Miroku: Huh? *Looks at his legs that are moving, but not going anywhere* How is this happening?

Kasumi: Legato is holding you up. Wow, he catch up fast.

Legato: *Holding on to Miroku's collar* Thank you Miss Kasumi. Master told me to walk fast, so I did.

Kasumi: He called me miss Kasumi! COOL!

Legato: I am here to do as master bids, so I must take both of you back.

Kasumi: Ohhhhhhhh. That's no fun!

Legato: I do as master wills.

Kasumi: What about me? I don't I matter?

Legato: Master ordered you not to be hurt, so I think you do matter

Kasumi: *Thinks* Um Ouch Legato you're hurting me!

Legato: *Lets go of Miroku and bows* I apologize Miss Kasumi. I will be more careful in the future.

Kasumi: It would make me feel a bit better if you went back to Ed.

Legato: The only way I can go back to master is with you two accompanying me. I must do as master says.

Kasumi: But you being here right now is hurting me!

Legato: *Starts dragging Miroku and Kasumi* Once you see master, you will be fine.

Kasumi: Well, I tried. Sorry Miroku-san.

Miroku: I should just write my will right now.

Kasumi: but Ed took most of your stuff already.

Miroku: *sigh* You're right. I just have to wait patiently until you friend kills me.

Kasumi: If you die can I have your payer beads?

Miroku: As my last gift to you- Yes Kasumi, you may have them.

Kasumi: You know, I feel bad I never got you that child.

Miroku: *Sniffles* Me too.

Kasumi: And that you're gonna die. I didn't want you to die like this ...if you had to die! Miroku-san can I ask you a question or two?

Miroku: Yes Kasumi. Since these are most likely my last moments on Earth, you may ask anything.

Kasumi: How old are you? When did you get two earrings? And can I see the thing in your robe?

Miroku: 17, I've had them sense I was 13, and I can't show you like this. Besides, there is another person in our presence. *Glares at Legato*

Legato*"Accidentally" Smacks Miroku into a tree* So sorry. Must watch where I'm going.

Kasumi: *Whiny tone* B-but I want it now!!!!

Miroku: *Rubs back of head* I'm sorry Kasumi. I'd love to, -believe me!- but I can't. *Sighs* Life is cruel. I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!!!!

Kasumi: Legato, you're making my butt sore with all the dragging. Can we take a break?

Legato: I'm afraid not Miss Kasumi, but I can help you. *Picks Kasumi up and puts her over his shoulder* Better, Miss Kasumi?

Kasumi: Yeah I guess. *Looks down at Miroku down below* Are you okay?

Miroku: I'll be fine. I'm about to die soon, so it doesn't matter anyways.

Inu-Yasha: ME!!!

Koga: ME!!!

Inu-Yasha: I SAID ME *Lands on Kasumi's back and jumps to the ground*

Kasumi: Oh God I think something cracked!

Koga: NO ME, YOU STUPID DOG TURDS! *Lands on Miroku*

Legato: You two are interfering with my mission. I won't kill you unless you continue to bother me. Now be gone.


Inu-Yasha: YOU?! YOU MEAN ME!

Legato: *Walking away* I must get them to master

Kasumi: Ouch!

Miroku: My legs!

Legato: Stop wining, we're almost there.


Ed: Kasumi? *Runs up to them* Good boy Legato! *Pats on head* You may put her down now.

Legato: Thank you master *Puts Kasumi down*

Kasumi: HN!

Ed: Hey there Kasumi! You all right?

Kasumi: *Punches Ed in the face* I'm now.

Legato: Gasp! Master!

Ed: *Rubs face* I deserved that.

Kasumi: Yeah you did! *Starts crying* I'm so sorry! *Hugs Ed*

Ed: It's all right. *Pats Kasumi's on the back* It was my fault. I was an idiot and an ass. Forgive me?

Kasumi: And a bitch, but yeah I forgive you. I was wrong too! I shouldn't call Kurama guy when we all know he's bi.

Ed: *Vain in forehead* That will have to do. But can you let go? You hugging it and me's too much contact.

Miroku: Maybe you two should kiss too. That always helps.


Kasumi: NO Killing. I like him, plus he does his really neat thing to my neck!

Ed: *Eye twitches in irritation* FINE!! I wont kill him.

Kasumi: YAY!! *Grabs Miroku* Isn't this great now I can finally get you a child!

Ed: Wait! I didn't say he wasn't going to get away with it either, now did I?

Kasumi: *holds Miroku harder* Why? What he do?

Ed: He's Miroku

Kasumi: Punish Legato! He let Inu-Yasha land on my back! *Points to Legato*

Ed: I'm sure he didn't mean to- Did you Legato?

Legato: No master

Ed: Good boy. *Pats Legato's head*

Kasumi: Is Legato a dog or a minion?

Ed: I don't know, but it lets him know I'm happy with him *Smiles at Legato*

Kasumi: Weird. See Miroku-San she is insane, not crazy.

Miroku: I say she's both

Kasumi: She isn't crazy until she's caught.

Miroku: Whatever dear

Ed: *Growls*

Kasumi: I love it how you call me those sweet names!

Ed: *Growls louder and puts hand on Vash's gun*

Kasumi: Why are you taking out the gun?

Ed: *Just growls more and glares at Miroku*

Kasumi: Ed?

Ed: *Growls still glaring at Miroku*

Miroku: HELP!

Ed: *Takes a step, still growling*

Kasumi: You should be feeling happy Miroku-San! She's kill people younger then you before.

Miroku: Your kidding! Please tell me your kidding!

Ed: *Takes another step*

Kasumi: No, I wish I was, but no. For the last month she's been trying to kill her nephew aka the little devil child.


Ed: *Takes yet another step*

Kasumi: Oi that kid is like the roadrunner! He never stops!

Miroku: But her own family?!?! That's sickening!

Kasumi: but Sesshomaru does it to Inu-Yasha all the time.

Miroku: Oh yeah...

Ed: *Is now standing right behind Miroku*

Kasumi: Oh Miroku-San I'm so glad you're gonna get to live! Now all you have to do is wait for the hole in your hand to consume you or of natural causes to dye. Isn't that great?!

Miroku: *Sarcastically* Oh goodie...

Ed: MUST TOURTURE!!!! *Grabs Miroku's neck and starts to strangle*


Ed: *Still strangling* Oh, don't worry. Didn't you hear me? I said torture, not kill. If he's dead, where's the torturer?

Kasumi: You torturer the soul after they're dead stupid!

Ed: *Shrugs* Eh-I'm not gonna kill him so don't worry.

Kasumi: If you stop now, I promise we'll go to FLCL next!

Ed: I don't care. Besides, I'm not gonna kill him and look, I'm done anyway! *Stops strangling Miroku and spins him headfirst into a tree* Oooo...THAT HAD to hurt. *Smiles* See? Done.

Kasumi: *Runs to Miroku* Are you okay?

Miroku: *Groans and Passes out*

Ed: *Smiles* I feel proud

Kasumi: He needs CPR!! *Opens his mouth and tries to go down* LIVE!!

Ed: NO! *Puts her hand over Miroku's mouth* NO HE DOESN'T!!!

Kasumi: Are you sure? *Points Miroku's stomach* He seems a little, ya know, not breathing.

Ed: You aren't gonna touch him! If you want I can get Legato to do it. *Points to Legato* You'd do, wouldn't you Legato?

Legato: 0.o Ummm... Anything you want master. *Bows* But I'd prefer not to.

Kasumi: Yeah do it Legato! Help save a life today!

Ed: Legato!

Legato: *Sighs* Yes master. *Starts giving Miroku CPR*

Miroku: *Starts to get up* O.O

Kasumi: Move! *Pushes Legato out of the way*

Ed: Good, good boy Legato!!! * Pats repeatedly on head*

Kasumi: Miroku-san please get up!

Ed: You know what Legato? I think you deserve a treat for doing that! *Digs in bottomless bag of.... stuff* It's in here somewhere...

Miroku: *Points to Legato* What was he just doing?

Kasumi: He gave you CPR. I would have but Ed wouldn't let me!

Miroku: *Puts head in hands* WHY GOD WHY!!

Ed: Ah HA! Found it! Close your eyes Legato, and I'll give you your surprise.

Legato: Yes master. *Closes eyes*

Ed: *Puts spiked collar and leash on Legato* SURPISE!!

Legato: *Looks at collar for a moment* I will treasure this master.

Ed: *With leash in hands* I'm so glad! *Gives Legato a hug*

Kasumi: Ahhhh how cute! Say cheese! *Takes picture*

Ed: AHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!

Kasumi: Sorry.

Ed: Ehhhhh...Now they hurt.

Koga: *Comes in* I got lost. Where am I?

Kasumi: KOGA!!

Ed: Dumb dog

Koga: I'm a wolf damn it!!

Ed: *Looking at a bush* Whatever. Same thing pretty much.

Kasumi: OH, can we keep him Ed?

Koga: Keep me?

Ed: *Looks at another tree* Sure whatever Kasumi

Kasumi: YAY!! I always wanted another dog.

Ed: *Looks at yet another tree* Yeah, as a pet. I'd give you a leash and collar like Legato, but he has my only one.

Ed: I have too many pets as it is.

Kasumi: *Grabs Koga and stuffs him into the endless bag of...stuff*

Ed: So, what now Kasumi?

Kasumi: TO FLCL WE GO!!

Ed: *Smiles* You sure? We can go to Excel Saga if you want

Kasumi: Naaaaa, FLCL!

Ed: *Takes out 8 ball* All right! Legato, You gonna come with us, or do you want us to drop you off back at Trigun?

Legato: You are my master now. I cannot leave you.

Ed: Yay! I'm so lucky to have such a loyal minion! I'm so happy I could just hug somebody! *Gives Legato a hug*

Kasumi: Lets go people! Oh Miroku-san.

Miroku: *Still crying*

Kasumi: They next time we meet I promise, you'll get what you want!

Miroku: *Sniffle* Really?

Kasumi: Really! *Winks*

Miroku: *Hugs Kasumi* Thank you!!

Ed: *Growls*

Kasumi: I don't need any thanks. I'd do anything for a friend.

Ed: *Growls more*

Kasumi: Well, lets go!

Ed: Right, Oh and Miroku?

Miroku: *gulp* Yes, what is it?

Ed: *Goes up to him so only he can hear her* You ever touch Kasumi again; I'll make sure that you'll never be able to have kids. You get my drift? So I suggest that you keep you distance. Understand you pathetic excuse for a human being?

Miroku: *nods head*

Ed: That's right. *Pats his head hard* Now that we understand each other I'm sure I'll have no other reason to kill you. Right?

Miroku: *Turns pale and nods his head no*

Kasumi: Miroku-San you all right? Do you need another hug? *Puts arms out*

Ed: No Kasumi, he doesn't. *Whispers to Miroku* Oh, I'm gonna be keeping up with you Miroku. If I hear form anyone that you groped a girl or asked them to bear your child, I'll come back. And believe me, you DON'T want me to come back. Got that?

Miroku: *Faints*

Kasumi: Oh well, lets go!

Ed: *Smiles Wickedly* All right. Kasumi, *Hands over 8 ball* you do the honors

Kasumi: Kay! Oh Magical Dimensional 8 ball take us to FLCL!

Magical dimensional 8 ball of magic: Yes ma'am!

Ed, Kasumi, and Legato: *Disappear*