Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction / Outlaw Star Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Trigun Fan Fiction / FLCL Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction / Samurai Deeper Kyo Fan Fiction / Shaman King Fan Fiction / Excel Saga Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO) Fan Fiction ❯ What isn't nailed down is mine ❯ Kamiya Kasshinryu, drinking, and some other things that are questionable ( Chapter 11 )
=Rurouni Kenshin, in front of the Kamiya dojo=
Ed, Kasumi, and Legato: *Come in*
Kasumi: We're here!
Ed: Hey! *Points* What's that sign say?
Kasumi: *Looks at the sign written in Japanese* I don't know! Gato-Chan read that for us! *Points to the sign*
Legato: I can't read Japanese whore.
Kasumi: *Smacks Legato in the stomach*
Legato: What was that for?
Kasumi: *Grins at Legato* Wouldn't you like to know?
Legato: Yes I would.
Kasumi: So Ed what do you think it says?
Ed: *Glares at sign* How about we ask? * Goes to door and bangs on it* Hello?!?
Kaoru: What's with all the banging? *Opens the door*
Ed: Hi! What's that sign say? *Points* And give me food.
Kaoru: What?! How dare you talk to me like that?!
Kasumi: You will have to forgive my friend, that ya will. She's a bit head strong and nuts.
Ed: What's wrong with that? And where's my food?
Kasumi: Don't mind her. May I ask ya a question or two if ya wouldn't mind?
Kaoru: Ok. I guess so.
Kasumi: Is this the Kamiya dojo is it not?
Kaoru: Yes it is. May I ask why you are here?
Ed: No, unless you give me food!
Kasumi: *Smacks Ed on the arm* Well, um, the reason being is....is ...to take up training under the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu! *Smiles*
Ed: We do?
Kasumi: Right! We want to learn under you and get to know everything. *Winks at Ed*
Ed: Uh... Yeah! That's it!
Kasumi: May we come in and discuss this further?
Kaoru: I suppose so. What about him? *Points to Legato* Will he be my student as well?
Kasumi: Yes! He will be joining us, that he will!
Legato: I will?
Kasumi: I just said that, that I did.
Kasumi: So lets go in.
Kaoru: Please, follow me. *Walks inside*
Kasumi: YAY! *Fallows Kaoru*
Ed: Food! *Also goes in* Come on Legato!
Legato: Yes master *Goes in also*
=Inside the dojo=
Yahiko: What was that banging?
Ed: That was me. Can I have food now?
Kaoru: Sure. Hey Kenshin! Are you done cooking?!
Kenshin: *Inside* Yes Kaoru-dono, almost done, that I am!
Ed: Yay! Can I have sake too?
Kaoru: What does this look like a bar?!
Ed: Well, no. But I want sake.
Kasumi: Oi, tea will be fine.
Ed: What's wrong with wanting sake?
Kasumi: Don't be rude!
Kaoru: Yes thank you.
Ed: I want sake!
Kaoru: Well, we don't have any sake. It's a bad drink that has no place in this world.
Yahiko: Plus Sano drunk all of it last night.
Ed: That jerk! I wanted to get drunk!
Kaoru: I thought you wanted to learn Kamiya Kasshin-ryu!
Ed: That too. But getting drunk is a lot more fun.
Kasumi: *Smacks Ed over the head* That's will be enough, that it will.
Ed: *Wines* I just wanted some sake...
Kasumi: Later I promise...
Ed: Yay! Later...Drunken rampage!! Whoo!
Kenshin: You shouldn't drink so much. It can be bad for you, that it can?
Ed: So? I don't mind- As long as it's not a rum chaser. Those are gross.
Kasumi: *Stares at Kenshin* I-I-I-I...Um-blab.
Ed: Yeah. That's exactly how I felt after that rum chaser. *Shivers*
Yahiko: Are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost.
Kasumi: Um, I...s-tuff...
Ed: Where's the food?
Kenshin: Oh its inside, that it is. *Smiles*
Ed: All right! What are we having Kenshin?
Sano: Is it ramen? *Puts his arms over Ed and Kasumi's shoulder*
Ed: Yeah! Is it? I love ramen! Please say it's ramen! *Gets puppy dog eyes*
Kenshin: Yes it Ramen.
Kasumi: *Turns tomato red* ORO!
Ed: Yes!! What are we waiting for?!?! And Kasumi, why'd you say oro?
Ed: Kasumi? Are you ok? They made ramen. Even if we can't have sake, ramen's a good replacement. Come on, I'm hungry!
Kasumi: *Stares at Sano* I-m-meh...I....
Ed: Kasumi! Snap out of it!
Sano: You okay? You look like Kenshin's hair.
Ed: Yeah! Let's go Kasumi!! I want ramen!! We haven't had any since bebop!!
Kenshin: *Walks over Ed and Kasumi* Is your friend sick?
Ed: I don't know. She better not be.
Kasumi: *Turns pale* I'm Kasumi Koorime, Its an honor to meet you, that it is! *Bows*
Ed: Intro done- Lunch now!!
Kenshin: Well its very nice to meet you too Kasumi-dono, that it is. We should have the ramen before it gets cool, that we should.
Kasumi: YES Kenshin-sama!
Ed: She listens to him...*Rolls eyes*
Legato: What is with her master?
Ed: I don't know. Why'd she listen to Kenshin and not me? I feel unloved.
Kasumi: Come on Kenshin-sama! We mustn't waste time, that we shouldn't! *Drags Kenshin inside*
Kaoru: She's a too close with him already...
Sano: She's just odd and I'm just hungry. *Goes inside*
=Inside, at the table=
Kasumi: *Sitting in between Sano and Kenshin* ^_^
Ed: *With mouthful of ramen.* Rish is weal gwood Kenvin!
Kaoru: Don't talk with your mouth full it's rude!
Ed: *Swallows* Who asked you? No one, that's who! *Eats more*
Kaoru: *Throws blow at Ed* Bitch!
Ed: Yipes!! *Ducks* Ha! You missed!
Kenshin: Now Kaoru-dono, we mustn't be so violent
Ed: Yeah! *Sticks tongue at Kaoru, then goes back to eating*
Legato: *Glares at Kaoru*
Ed: *Takes a gulp of tea* What's wrong Legato? Something wrong with your food?
Legato: No Master. It's just fine.
Ed: *Blinks* Kay...*Goes back to eating*
Sano: Why do you call her master? It's the 11th year of the Meiji. You don't need a master. You can be your own man!
Legato: I call her Master because she's my Master. Simple as that.
Sano: You take crap from a woman?
Ed: He wanted to become my minion-I didn't force him. And don't take my gender lightly. I may be female, but I'll still kick your ass Mr. Roster Head!
Sano: I am not a roster head!
Kasumi: *Glares at Ed* Don't call him that!
Ed: What! He is! Just look at him!
Kasumi: Shut up! You're just jealous of him!
Ed: Jealous?!?! What does he have that I'd be jealous of?!?!?
Kasumi: Cause he's just like Hiei-Chan!
Ed: Well, he is as ugly as Hiei is!
Kasumi: WHAT?!?!??! O.O
Ed: You heard me!
Kasumi: *Eyes start flashing* Well at lest Hiei is straight!
Ed: KURAMA IS NOT GAY DAMNIT!!!!!!
Kasumi: Then don't call Hiei ugly!!
Ed: Kurama said himself he wasn't gay! I'm sick of everyone calling him names!
Kasumi: Hmm lets think! His long red hair!
Kenshin: *Looks at his red hair* oro?
Kasumi: His stupid rose weapons! Also his wearing pink!
Kenshin: *Looks at his Komodo* oro?
Kasumi: Need I say more?!
Kenshin: Why am I a homosexual?
Ed: Not you Kenshin! Kurama!!
Kenshin: But you just describe me.
Ed: Kurama!! Not Kenshin! K-U-R-A-M-A!!!!
Kasumi: I'll tell you why. Kurama is your long lost brother!
Ed: Kasumi!! I'm gonna kick you ass if you don't shut up!!
Kaoru: Stop it now! Sano or Hiei, whoever he maybe, isn't ugly. Kenshin/Kurama isn't a homosexual! Okay? Okay!
Ed: *Glares at Kasumi* That'll do for now. *Starts eating ramen again*
Ed: Well settle this later Kasumi. *Shoves ramen in her mouth*
Kasumi: Tetsusaiga and me will be wanting!
Ed: Tokijin and I will be ready.
Kaoru: Who is Tetsusaiga and Tokijin?
Ed: Those are our swords.
Kaoru: You guys have swords already? I don't know. I think you two should start out with wooden swords like little Yahiko here.
Yahiko: I'm not little!
Kasumi: You saying that only makes you sound littler.
Ed: Uhhhh....That's ok. We'll use our swords-They're special!
Kaoru: I'm sorry, but if you're going to take up Kamiya Kasshin-ryu then you will be using wooden swords.
Ed: Put wooden swords are for pansies!! They're....made of wood! Real swords are best!
Kaoru : Do you know what Kamiya Kasshin-ryu means?
Ed: Some B.S. about protecting people.
Kasumi: Ed shut up! We're gonna do this! Plus I'll buy around after words for celebrate.
Sano: I like the sound of that.
Ed: *Sighs* Fine. In the name of sake, I'll lower my standards and work with a pathetic wooden sword.
Kaoru: -_- Stop putting down wooden swords!
Kasumi: Yeah wood hurts!
Ed: Metal hurts more dumbasses.
Kasumi: But wood doesn't kill
Ed: Exactly! Therefore-Wooden swords suck ass!
Kenshin: That will be enough from you two. I don't want fighting in here.
Kasumi: Yes Kenshin-sama, anything you say!
Kaoru: Come on, *Gets up* lets start your training.
Ed: I wanna use Tokijin but...sake is on the line. Let's get this over with.
=In the fighting hall=
Ed: Wooden...*Mutters things not suitable for the young ones ears*
Kaoru: Ed! You aren't holding it right! Kasumi, You aren't standing right!
Ed: That's cause we aren't used to theses toothpicks! The swords we use are about 25 times heavier!!
Kasumi: But I have my own stance.
Kaoru: I don't care this is the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu. We have our own way of doing things! Now Ed, I want you to change at me.
Ed: You sure? I don't want to hurt you. Wait a minute, yeah I do! *Charges at Kaoru*
Kaoru: Good Ed. Kasumi You shou-AH!!! *Puts her sword up*
Ed: What's wrong? I'm too strong for ya?
Kaoru: No you just surprised me. *Tries to get Ed off, but can't*
Ed: You're suppose to teach us? I think I need to teach you.
Kaoru: *Moves back and swings at Ed*
Ed: *Pulls back and swings back at Kaoru*
Kaoru: *Gets smacked in the ribs* AH! *Falls down holding her side*
Kaoru: I-I'm okay.
Sano: She's really losing it.
Kaoru: I am NOT! *Gets up*
Yahiko: Ed got you good! *Gets smacked on the head by Kaoru with her sword*
Kaoru: Kasumi lets see what you can do. *Gets into stance*
Sano: Give her hell!
Kenshin: Yes, lets see your skills.
Kasumi: *Smiles* Right!
Ed: Kick her ass Kasumi!
Kasumi: That will. *Runs to Kaoru and thwacks her on the head*
Kaoru: *Knocked unconscious*
Kasumi: Whoops. *Gets on her knees and holds Kaoru* I sorry I sorry I sorry!!!
Ed: Why should you be?
Kasumi: I knocked her out! That isn't good!
Ed: Yes it is. Now we won't have to listen to her nag.
Kenshin: That maybe true, but Kaoru-Dono is out cold. We must see if she is all right, that we must.
Ed: Do we have to? Can't we just leave her alone and hope for the worst-I mean best?
Kenshin: I'm sorry but Kaoru-Dono is very important to me, that she is.
Ed: *Glares at Kaoru* Nagging bitch...*Sighs* Fine whatever.
Kasumi: I just tapped ya on the head! It wasn't that hard. In fact I was holding back! Don't die! *Starts shaking Kaoru*
Ed: I don't think that's helping Kasumi.
Kasumi: *Hugs Kaoru* What the hell are you guys standing there for?! Go get Magumi or that old guy doctor!
Ed: His name's Gensai
Kasumi: Just go get one of them! Sano, Kenshin! Do something!
Ed: Yeah you morons! *Claps hands* Chop, chop!
Sano: Yeah, okay. *Walks off*
Kenshin: How did you know about Magumi and Dr. Gensai?
Ed: *Gets in Kenshin's face and gets all dark* We know all!
Kasumi: *Picks up Kaoru* We should get her inside! *Runs inside*
Ed: Whatever. *Follows*
Kasumi: *Holding Kaoru's hand* I hope she makes it okay.
Kenshin: Don't worry. You're making a mountain out of a molehill, that ye are.
Ed: *Mutters* I just hope she dies...
Sano: Back and I brought the fox-lady.
Magumi: I am not a fox you roster!
Ed: See?!?! She agrees with me that he's a rooster!
Kasumi: This isn't a time for joking, that it isn't!
Sano: Damn it all of you!
Kasumi: SHUT UP AND HELP!
Megumi: All right. *Goes to Kaoru* She's not too hurt. She'll be just fine.
Kasumi: Okay then. I was kinda freaking out, that I was. *Jumps up* I think she lost a few brain cells with that hit. I know all about hits to the noggin
Ed: *Snorts* She was stupid before; I wonder what'll happen now?
Kenshin: That isn't nice, that it isn't.
Kasumi: Ed isn't a nice person, that she isn't.
Ed: No I'm not. I'm down right evil! *Smiles* Ask Legato. He'll tell you!
Kenshin: Really now? Is that something to be proud of?
Legato: Master is evil as evil gets. She shot down my former master.
Sano: That guy sounds very familiar. Don't ya think Magumi?
Kasumi: Gato-Chan sounds like someone in this room, just more depressing, that he does.
Ed: Not this again Kasumi!
Kasumi: But dude its true, that it is!
Sano: What is?
Kasumi: I think Gato-Chan sounds a bit like Kenshin-sama.
Ed: Yeah, he does. Legato sounds like a depressed Kenshin, in your words.
Legato: I'm not depressed!
Kasumi: But ya sound it, that ya do.
Ed: Legato's not depressed, just disturbed.
Sano: He does sorta in a way sound like Kenshin.
Ed: Yeah, but not really.
Sano: I can hear it...
Yahiko: This is strange.
Legato: I don't sound like this man!
Kasumi: Yeah ya do Gato-Chan, that ya do!
Ed: Just let it go Legato. *Pats his head*
Kasumi: That's right I said I would buy drinks didn't I?
Ed: Yeah! So be good Legato, and Kasumi will treat us to drinks!
Sano: *Throws his fist into the air* YEAH, DRINKS!!!
Ed: Yay!!! When can we leave?
Kasumi: Kenshin-sama do you wish to go also? All in good funny, that it will be!
Kenshin: I believe it would be fun, that it would. I will come along.
Ed: I haven't a drop since Trigun! Good times...*Smiles*
Sano: What's a Trigun?
Ed: Uhhhh.... Nothing. Never mind.
Kasumi: We must be going now, that we must! *Grabs Kenshin's arm and runs out*
Ed: Let's get wasted!!!! *Runs after Kasumi*
Sano: Drinks! *Runs out*
Legato: *mumbling* I don't sound like him... *Strolls out of the dojo*
Magumi: *All alone, but for Kaoru* I'll stay right here.
Ed: *Chanting* Sake, sake, sake, sake, sake....
Kasumi: Ed clam yourself. We haven't even gotten the drinks.
Ed: I want sake! I was promised sake!
Kenshin: Please be still, it is almost here.
Ed: *Wining and moving around in her seat* Can't sit still... must have sake.
Kasumi: Ed technically we shouldn't be drinking at all, so don't push your luck.
Ed: Age is no issue! I just wanna get wasted!
Kenshin: How old are you?
Kasumi: -134 years old. *Smiles*
Ed: *Looking for the waitress* A year younger than her.
Kenshin: That's impossible!
Kasumi: Is it really?
Ed: That's how old we are...get over it. Where the hell is she? I want sake!
Sano: Sure you are and I'm Kenshin's new boyfriend, HAHAHA!
Ed: *Stops looking* Ok, now that's just wrong.
Tae: Hello, I'm here with the sake!
Ed: THANK GOD!! *Grabs sake* Mine!!!
Tae: Well, have fun you guys. ^_^
Ed: You got it!
Kasumi: Thank you Tae-san! *Takes a sake jug*
Ed: *Starts drinking straight from one of the jugs*
Kasumi: *Takes a sip* Boozehound.
Sano: *Starts chugging*
Kenshin: *Looks at Sano* Sano please take your time. I don't want to drag you out again.
Ed: *Starting to get drunk*Lighten up Kenshin! We're here to have fun! *Puts one arm on Legato's shoulders and the other around Sano's* Right guys?
Sano: *Drunk already* YEAH! That's the spirit!
Legato: Master, are you okay?
Ed: *Looks at Legato and blinks* Of course. *Chugs more sake*
Kasumi: Gato-Chan, please have some sake. Its good for you.
Legato: I'm not going to. I need to stay sober to make sure those who get drunk don't make fools of themselves. *Looks at Sano*
Sano: I need another bottle!
Kasumi: *Grin* Kick back and have fun Gato-Chan. Anyway its my job to take care of Ed, not you.
Ed: *Now completely drunk* Whoo! Another round!!
Kasumi: See she's fine. Now drink Gato-Chan.
Legato: *Looks at sake then takes a sip*
Kasumi: Now did you die? Did the world end?
Legato: Shut up whore. *Takes another sip*
Kasumi: *Smiles* No harm no fowl. *Takes a sip herself*
Ed: *Staring at Legato*
Legato: *Takes a few more sips* Master do you need anything?
Ed: *Still stares*
Legato: Master? Why do you look at me like that?
Ed: *Points* You...
Legato: Um…yes master?
Ed: *Puts finger on Legato's forehead* You...
Legato: *Blink* What about me master?
Legato: -_- WHAT?!
Legato: -_- WHAT?!
Ed: You... You're tall...
Legato: What bout it?
Ed: You're tall...and stuff...
Kasumi: Tell him about the trees and the squirrels.
Kenshin: What are you talking about?
Kasumi: It's a funny joke.
Ed: Oh yeah! If a tree falls down in the forest and pops back up as a joke, do the squirrels freak out?
Ed: You're no fun...
Kenshin: Why do you say no Sano?
Sano: Because the squirrels are already nuts! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ed: That's so funny!!! *Laughs like an idiot*
Kasumi: It was smart, but it was cheesy.
Ed: *Trying to catch breath* So...Funny...
Legato: I fail to see the humor.
Kenshin: Squirrels eat nuts.
Legato: What the hell is a squirrel?!
Kenshin: I think you had a little too much to drink, that I do.
Ed: It's good to let your hair down once in a while Kenshin!
Kenshin: My hair is fine thank you.
Kasumi: You know long hair gets in the way when it's down.
Ed: Yeah... *Drinks more sake*
Sano: Whoo! *Takes another gulp*
Ed: *Holds up hand* High five!
Sano: *Looks at Ed's hand* Its a hand!
Ed: *Takes hand down* Whoa...It is!
Sano: It is! *Gives Ed a thumps up*
Ed: *Staring at hands* My hands.... They can touch anything but themselves.... *Claps hands* Oh...
Kasumi: Ed you sound like you're high more then you're drunk ya know that?
Ed: *Looks up* Do I?
Legato: Screw you! *Punches Sano*
Ed: That was cool! Do it again!
Sano: You jackass! *Hits Legato*
Legato: You hit me! YOU BITCH!!! *Strangles Sano*
Kasumi: That can't be good.
Kenshin: Stop it! *Tries to jerk Legato off Sano's neck*
Ed: Get him Legato!
Legato: Get off me! *Knocks Kenshin to the wall*
Kasumi: Dude! Not cool, that it isn't!
Ed: Go Legato! Go-*Holds hand over mouth* I think I'm gonna barf...
Kasumi: Here. *Hands Ed a barf bag*
Ed: Thanks...*Takes deep breath* I'm ok now.
Kasumi: Anytime. *Glares at Legato* Oi, Gato-Chan!
Legato: What do you want whore! Can't you see I'm busy!?!?!
Kasumi: With what?
Legato: I...Just am!
Kasumi: Someone is drunk, that they are. Cause he's choking air.
Kasumi: *Sitting on Sano's lap* Look at your hands!
Sano: How did I get here?
Legato: Damn him...
Kasumi: Poor Gato-Chan! Ya blue?
Legato: I'm Bluesummers.
Sano: Whoa, summer is blue? I always thought it was hot.
Ed: My birthday's in summer...Well, almost. Only a couple of days off.
Kasumi: Gato-Chan chan chany chan chan! *Grins happily*
Ed: Chan-Man- Sam...*Points to Sano* I shall call you Sam!
Sano: YAY! *Hugs Kasumi*
Ed: I want a hug...
Kasumi: Something is touching me!
Ed: Sano's hugging you...How come I don't get a hug?!?!
Kasumi: I'm scared! Gato-Chan, help me!
Legato: How about no?
Kasumi: *Eyes start getting big* Ed make him help me!
Ed: Only if I get a hug first!
Kasumi: Kenshin hug her! For the love of god! Or get this off me!
Sano: Big puffballs! *Plays with Kasumi's hair*
Ed: Hey! That made me hungry! I demand rice balls!
Tae: Yes ma'am you wanted something?
Ed: *Grabs Tae* I demand rice balls and more sake!
Tae: Y-yes ma'am! Just d-don't hurt me!
Ed: *Lets her go* Damn straight!
Kasumi: Make it stop!
Sano: *Rubs Kasumi's hair* Its so fluffily!
Ed: I feel unloved...*Pouts and folds arms over chest*
Tae: Here it is ma'am! *Puts down a dozen bottles and runs away*
Sano: *Lets go of Kasumi* YAY MORE DRINKS!! *Hugs Ed* You're my best friend!
Ed: I finally got a hug!!! *Hugs Sano back*
Legato: Don't touch her!
Ed: *Giggles* Sake makes the world go 'round.
Kasumi: *Jumps on Legato's lap* Hello
Legato: Get off me whore!
Kasumi: I came out on top!
Ed: *Hiccups and looks around* Did you guys make the room the spin?
Kasumi: Gato-Chan is very muscular, that he is!
Legato: GET OFF!!!
Kasumi: Why Gato-Chan?
Ed: Cause I said so!
Kasumi: Ed drink some more.
Ed: Sano is hugging me too tight. *Gasps* Can't breath!
Sano: Sorry! *Lets go and falls over*
Kasumi: Gato-Chan! I don't think you had enough to drink! *Grabs a bottle*
Ed: *Drinks more*
Legato: I've had enough.
Kasumi: You're too sober
Ed: *Holds up hand* Four…No…Five...No-I lost count... *Laughs like a manic*
Kasumi: Oi Eddie! Do you think Gato-Chan has had enough?!
Ed: I don't know... *Looks at Sano* Who are you again?
Sano: I'm drunk!
Ed: Oh *Waves* Hi Drunk!
Ed: *Gives him a bottle* Have some sake Drunk!
Sano: Thanks! *Takes Sake and chugs it*
Kasumi: Chug, chug, chug, chug!
Ed: Yeah! *Grabs a jug and drinks*
Kasumi: WHOO! You go Ed!!! Right Gato-Chan?!
Legato: Yes. Go Master!
Kasumi: *Falls off Legato and out of the little booth/room* EEP!
Ed: *Slams sake bottle on table* How I do?
Legato: Master you did great.
Kasumi: Ouch. I think we need to stop, that I do.
Kenshin: I say you're right, that I do. Lets go!
Ed: Thanks Legato! More sake! *Drinks some more*
Kasumi: Oi, no more!
Ed: YOU WILL NOT KEEP ME FROM MY SAKE!!!
Kasumi: Hey, there's Kurama!
Kasumi: *Points to Kenshin* There!
Ed: Kurama? *Looks at Kenshin and blinks*
Kasumi: Yeah...Fallow the Kurama.
Kenshin: *Nods his head and runs away*
Legato: I thought that was the Kenshin guy?
Ed: KURAMA!!!*Chases Kenshin* COME BACK KURAMA DEAR!
Legato: No Master! *Runs after Ed*
Sano: Where is everyone leaving to?
Kasumi: *Eyes Sano* Sano, you want to make a girl happy?
Sano: *Blinks* Yeah...
Kasumi: Good. We need to find some place we can be...alone.
Sano: Alone...*Gets wicked grin and stands up* You got it!!
Kasumi: So you know a place? *Gets up* I don't want anyone watching what I'm about to do.
Sano: Yeah, I got a place not far from here.
Kasumi: Take me there then Sanosuke! *Grabs Sano's arm*
Sano: You got it!
Sano and Kasumi: *Leave*
Tae: Wait! You never paid your bill, again!
=At the Kamiya dojo=
Ed: KURAMA!!! *Tackles Kenshin to the ground*
Kenshin: AH! Please get off!
Ed: Kurama!! I love you! I love you so much!
Kaoru: Kenshin? *Sees Ed* What the hell!
Kenshin: Kaoru-Dono, this isn't what it looks like, that it isn't!
Ed: *Glares at Kaoru* Back off bitch- He's mine! *Hugs Kenshin*
Kaoru: No, that's my man! *Points to Kenshin*
Ed: He's mine!
Kaoru: No Kenshin is mine!
Ed: He's name's not Kenshin! It's Kurama! *Holds him tighter*
Legato: Master, you've been tricked!
Ed: What? Tricked?
Legato: That's Kenshin, not your Kurama. The Whore tricked you again!
Ed: She...*Grabs Kenshin and stares at him*
Ed: *Throws Kenshin down* Kurama doesn't say oro! *Starts crying*
Legato: I understand master. *Knees down to Ed* To make you feel better: lets go find the Whore and kill her! How does that sound?
Ed: I don't wanna go anywhere. All the fun has been sucked out of this night!*Cries more*
Legato: She was left alone with that big drunken jackass.
Ed: Kasumi...drunk Sano? That's not good.- Oh well! She deserves it for tricking me again!
Legato: Fine by me.
Ed: Yeah! Wait a minute... Gha! I'm too drunk to think!
Legato: I'll kill the Whore tomorrow. *Sigh*
Ed: *Looks around real quick* They're back...
Legato: Not again!
Sano: We're here!
Kasumi: It's a shack.
Sano: What do you want from me? I'm poor.
Kasumi: Good point. *Jumps onto Sano's "bed"*
Sano: *Smiles and sits on the bed*
Kasumi: Sano I'm gonna ask you something kinda strange...
Sano: Ask away!
Kasumi: Strip for me.
Sano: Yes Ma'am! *Takes his jacket off*
Kasumi: *Grabs Sano's Jacket* Keep going!
Sano: You got it! *Takes his pants off*
Kasumi: O.O Hello!
Kasumi: I-I didn't know you would take off your underwear too. Anyway, I'm happy now, very happy! *Hugs Sano's clothes*
Sano: That's it?
Kasumi: If you want, we can go farther.
Kasumi: Now what?
Sano: Take YOUR clothes off!
Kasumi: Oh...I guess. This reminds me what Miroku-san asked me to do, but Ed almost killed him *Takes off vest*
Kasumi: *Takes off fishnet T-Shirt and shows a red bra* Now what?
Sano: Take the rest off.
Kasumi: *Takes off saddles and skirt* Are you happy now?
Sano: No. All of it!
Kasumi: Okay. *Takes off everything and starts hugging herself* My its cold here.
Sano: *Stares at Kasumi*
Kasumi: What? Why are you staring?
Sano: *Starts drooling*
Kasumi: *Gets up and puts hands on hips* Are you gonna do something or what?
Sano: *Gulps* Sit back down.
Kasumi: Um okay *Sits down Starts shaking* Its cold...
Sano: *Points* There's a blanket.
Kasumi: Thanks. *Grabs blanket and wraps it around herself* it so cold in here. *Looks at Sano* Aren't you cold?
Sano: Not really. *Sits next to Kasumi*
Kasumi: *Starts biting her finger* Why are we just sitting here?
Sano: Because we are. *Staring at Kasumi*
Kasumi: What's wrong?
Kasumi: Am I making you unconformable?
Sano: NO! No, You're just fine.
Kasumi: Then what I do? I feel like I've done something.
Sano: You haven't done anything.
Kasumi: I bet that's the problem.
Sano: *Smiles* How'd you guess?
Kasumi: Because you just stare. So what am I doing?
Sano: You don't know?
Kasumi: No. Should I know?
Kasumi: About what?
Sano: Are you that dense?
Kasumi: No I'm confused.
Sano: I'll have to show you. *Gets evil grin and rolls on top of Kasumi*
Kasumi: *Stares at Sano* Oro?
Sano: Ummm...Can I ask you something?
Kasumi: Oh sure.
Sano: Are you a...*Cough* Virgin?
Kasumi: Oh, *Blushes* I'm a virgin, that I am.
Sano: *Sigh* Damn. *Stands up* We need to go back to the dojo.
Kasumi: O-kay, but why?
Sano: Because I said so.
Kasumi: Alright...If that's what you want.
Sano: Good! Now give me back my clothes.
Kasumi: I never said I was giving those back. *Smirks*
Sano: WHAT!?! ALL YOU WANTED WAS MY CLOTHES!?!?!?!
Kasumi: Yeah, what else would I want?
Sano: *Just stares with wide eyes*
Kasumi: *Gets dress* I'll see ya at the dojo Sano. *Disappears*
Sano: How...How could she- *Sighs* I give up.
Kasumi: *Walks in and looks around*
Ed: *Running around in circles* THEY'RE BACK!!!
Legato: Master please clam down!
Kenshin, Kaoru and Magumi: *Sitting there watching Ed go crazy*
Kasumi: *Goes over to the onlookers* Hello.
Kaoru: Where the hell have you been?!
Magumi: *Looks at Sano's clothes in Kasumi's arms* Hmm.
Kasumi: With Sano. *Looks at Ed who running up a tree* I see I haven't missed a thing.
Magumi: I have to say your friend has a mental imbalance!
Kasumi: She's also drunk and crazy too.
Kenshin: That she is.
Yahiko: *Comes out* Is she gone?
Ed: *Jumps out of tree and gnaws on Yahiko's head *
Yahiko: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Runs around like the idiot he is*
Legato: Master please take that out of your mouth! You don't know where it's been!
Kasumi: *Turns to Magumi* Monkeys?
Magumi: Yes! Has this happened before?!
Kasumi: It happens from time to time.
Yahiko: AH! MY BRAIN! *Falls over*
Kasumi: *Walks over to Ed and the fallen Yahiko*
Magumi: Come back here you don't know she'll do next!
Kasumi: Meh. *Looks at Ed* Ed get off of him!
Legato: What the hell do you think I've been trying to do?
Kasumi: *Takes out Wolfwood's Crossgun*
Ed: *Gets Thwacked* ouch! *Still holding on*
Kasumi: *Frowns* Okay then…*Clears throat* In the name of Nicolas D. Wolfwood, god rest his soul, I demand you become sober! *Thwacks Ed a couple time*
Ed: NO~!!!! Ouch! *Thinks* Damn it I'm sober again! Why?! Why god, why?!
Kasumi: You know what I just though of?
Ed: No, what?
Kasumi: Because Of what you did, Wolfwood is still alive!
Ed: Hey! You're right!
Kasumi: Look at what I got! *Show Sano's clothes*
Ed: How'd ya get'm off him.
Kasumi: *Smiles* Oh he took me to his place and took them off.
Ed: 0.o What was that now?
Kasumi: Yeah! Wasn't that nice of him?
Ed: Anything else happen?
Kasumi: Well after he asked if that was it
Ed: After that?
Kasumi: I said if he wanted we could do something else.
Ed: What he say?
Kasumi: He told me to take off my clothes too. Ya know his place is very cold.
Ed: O.O Sano is dead...
Ed: Cause he's dead.
Kasumi: He died after I left?!
Ed: No....But he'll be dead when I see him next.
Kasumi: You acted this way with Miroku too.
Ed: Sano will pay...He's so dead.
Kasumi: I don't see why. Plus I got undressed for nothing...
Ed: He's still dead.
Kasumi: I mean he just sat there and then asked to dumbest question! *Crosses arms*
Ed: What question?
Kasumi: If I was a virgin. Why does that have to with anything?
Ed: *Stands there and blinks*
Kasumi: I told him yes and he rolled off me and said we had to go back to the dojo.
Ed: Where is he now?
Kasumi: I don't know. I left him naked.
Kasumi: Yeah. He wasn't too happy that all I wanted was his clothes.
Ed: Sano is so dead it isn't even funny.
Kasumi: He hasn't done anything.
Ed: Legato? Fetch my weapons for me please. Most of them are inside.
Legato: Yes Master! *Runs inside (Stepping on Yahiko on the way)*
Kaoru: I think you deceiver it Yahiko! You shouldn't have been out there!
Yahiko: Shut up ugly!
Yahiko: You heard me!
Kasumi: Wow just like TV.
Ed: Must kill Sano...
Kaoru: I'll kill you!
Yahiko: Yeah right!
Kaoru: *Runs at Yahiko* AHH!!
Yahiko: Can't catch me! *Runs away*
Kaoru: I'll get you! *Runs after Yahiko*
Magumi: I have to go into town and tell everyone about this! *Runs off*
Kasumi: Its like TV! *Smiles*
Ed: Of course it is! It's supposed to be. *Looks around* Where's Legato?
Legato: *Comes out with many weapons in hand* Sorry master, but I didn't know what you wanted!
Kenshin: Oro?! Where did you get such items?!
Ed: Perfect Legato! *Pats him on the head and takes weapons* I'll get that rooster headed bastard.
Kasumi: *Pokes Ed* Um Ed?
Kasumi: Why are you gonna Kill Sanosuke?
Ed: Cause I am.
Kasumi: But he's one of my favorites!
Ed: He's kinda one of mine, but he must be punished for what he did!
Kasumi: He did some thing?
Ed: Yes he did.
Kasumi: Tell me!
Kenshin: *Gets up and goes over to Ed and Kasumi* I'm sorry but I can't help but wonder why also.
Ed: Ummmm...*Blushes* Legato- You tell them! I'm gonna polish Tokijin.
Legato: Hm? Um master I wasn't listening to what Miss Kasumi said...
Ed: * Whispers so only Legato can hear* Then make something up! You're a smart guy! *Smiles*
Legato: Yes Master. *looks at Kenshin* Well, what happen was...*Whispers in Kenshin's ear*
Kenshin: O.O I-I can't believe it! A cat can do that?!
Ed: Yup! I was shocked too!
Ed: Um yeah! A cat!
Kasumi: I thought Sano took me back to his place.
Ed: Ummm.... I'm going polish Tokijin now. *Takes a cloth out of her pocket, sits down, unsheathes Tokijin, and starts polishing it*
Kenshin: Did you two have... Intercourse?
Ed: *Trying not to listen, and still polishing Tokijin*
Kenshin: *Blushes* Well, um when a man and a woman love each other they um ....get friendly with each other....
Kasumi: We're friendly, so does that mean we're having intercourse?
Ed: Shut up Kenshin!!
Kenshin: What? She needs to know so I can get my answer.
Ed: *Points Tokijin at him* I'll give you one more chance to shut your damn mouth!!!
Kasumi: Why do you away hurt the people I like?!
Ed: I don't TRY to! They just get in my way and don't do what I tell them to!
Kasumi: Sano and Kenshin are two great guys and you want to hurt them!
Ed: Because they not doing what I tell them to! It would be a lot easier if they we're like Legato!
Kasumi: Gato-Chan is mean to me! Sano is nice! He gave me a blanket when I was cold!
Ed: Well, Legato obeys my every command! He's a lot better than Sano!
Kasumi: Sano has stuff!
Ed: So?!?! Legato's a hundred times cooler than Sano!
Kasumi: Sano is really...big!
Ed: What's that suppose to mean!?!?!
Kasumi: Hn, what are you stupid?
Kasumi: Then you know I mean he's tall.
Kasumi: Sheesh! What did you think I meant?
Ed: *Blushes* Nothing.
Kenshin: *Blushes* Kasumi-Dono you must choose your words more carefully.
Ed: Yeah- You really should.
Kasumi: Hn. Sano! *Waves her hands to get his attention*
Kasumi: Over there. *Points to Sano*
Ed: That bastard! Sano! Get your ass here now!!
Kenshin: Sano I think I must talk to you, that I do.
Sano: Why's that?
Kenshin: Believe me you will want to talk with me!
Sano: What are you talking about Kenshin?
Kenshin: *Goes over to Sano and talk low enough so only Sano will hear* Ed says she's going to Kill you for having intercourse with Kasumi-Dono. Is this true?
Sano: WHAT?!?!?!?! *Blushes*
Kenshin: Is it?
Kenshin: Really now? Why does Kasumi-Dono have your clothes?
Sano: I gave them to her! She asked me for them!
Kenshin: I see, but I'd also like to know is why you took her to your place?
Sano: She asked me to!
Kenshin: She did?
Sano: Yes! She asked if we could go someplace private!
Kenshin: It sounds like she wanted something, that it does...
Sano: I know!
Kenshin: So that's all that happened? You just gave her your clothes?
Sano: Well...We both took our clothes off, but that's all!!
Kenshin: So you were going to have intercourse with her!
Sano: Well I was...But I didn't!!
Kenshin: What stopped you?
Sano: Ummm…Well, she's a virgin. *Blushes*
Kenshin: I see. Well, that explains a lot about why she doesn't understand what I've been asking, that it does.
Sano: Yeah well...This is real embarrassing Kenshin. Does everyone know about this?
Kenshin: No. Kaoru-Dono, Miss Magumi, and Yahiko don't know. I think that the man they are with doesn't know, but I'm not sure.
Sano: Damn...This sucks.
Kenshin: Sano you don't have to be embarrassed. It's no big deal, that it isn't
Sano: I know, but still! I didn't really want people to know about my...personal life.
Kenshin: It's not that bad Sano
Sano: Your right Kenshin. Maybe we should tell Ed. I don't like the look she's giving me.
Ed: *Glaring at Sano, had on Vash's gun and growling*
Kasumi: *Smacks Ed for having Vash's gun out*
Ed: What was that for?!?
Kasumi: You're scaring him!
Ed: That's a good thing!
Kasumi: He didn't do anything!
Kasumi: Now you're just making me mad! This is just like when on Halloween Raoulak broke my Zanto damn it! She broke it by poking someone with it!!! Why do the things I like get broken?!
Ed: It was an accident! But, I really don't know- I was kinda passed out on the floor.
Kasumi: BUT IT WAS MY ZANTO!!!!!!!
Ed: And was an accident! I thought you said you dropped it?
Kenshin: You owned a Zanto?!
Ed: Yeah, she did. And still does! I just gotta ask my dad the best way to glue it back together.
Kenshin: Sano hasn't even tried to put his back together. What do you mean 'glue'?
Ed: It fixes stuff.
Kasumi: We have a lot of stuff that you haven't heard of I bet.
Ed: Yeah! How do you people live without computers?
Ed: *Sighs* Never mind.
Kasumi: They so cute with that look! *Takes out camera* Say cheese! *Takes picture*
Sano: MY SOUL!
Kenshin: AH my eyes! It hurts, that it does!
Ed: Umm...Yeah. Sano, It doesn't take your soul.
Kasumi: Sorry bout the flash!
Sano: I just lost a piece of my soul and all you can say is sorry!?!?!
Kasumi: Why do you think you lost your soul?!
Sano: Because! Cameras take a piece of your soul! Didn't you know that?!?!
Kasumi: Wow, that's very screwed...Who the hell told ya that was nuts!
Ed: Wasn't me!
Kasumi: You're not nuts, you're psycho. Sano you're gonna be okay?!
Sano: No I'm not!
Kasumi: *Hugs Sano* Poor baby...
Ed: *Glares at Sano*
Kasumi: I can tell you ,100% sure, that you didn't get any of you soul taken.
Sano: Really? Are you sure?
Kasumi: Is the Earth round and goes around the sun?
Sano: Does it?
Kasumi: *Sigh* The answer is yes.
Sano: Oh! Ok then!
Kasumi: *Smiles* I'm glad you understand.
Sano: Me too!
Kenshin: I think you can let go now...
Kasumi: What? *Puts head on Sano's chest*
Sano: *Blushes* Ummmm...
Kasumi: You got very warm and your heart is beating very fast, that it is...
Ed: Kasumi!! Let him go!!
Kasumi: Okay! *Lets go* My you get very red!
Sano: Yeah well...so?!?!
Kasumi: You look like a tomato
Sano: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Kasumi: Why? *Eyes start getting watery* You don't like me any more!
Sano: No! No- it's not that! I think you're very nice! Well, at least a lot nicer than your friend.
Kasumi: T-then what is it?! My hair? My skirt? My cold hands? WHAT?!
Sano: Nothing! I don't hate you!
Sano: Yeah! Would I lie to you?
Kasumi: She does...*Points to Ed*
Ed: I really try not to! Honest!
Kasumi: So I don't really trust anyone.
Sano: Well you can trust me!
Kasumi: Really? Ya know that's what Miroku-san said, but things happen.
Sano: Well, I'm not like her. *Points to Ed* You can always trust me!
Kasumi: That's Ed, not Miroku-San. Miroku-San said he would make me feel better. He was wrong and Ed almost killed him.
Ed: Damn straight I almost killed him! I probably would have if you hadn't ask me to have Legato give him CPR.
Sano: That's sick!
Kasumi: She knocked him into a tree. I was gonna do it, but Ed stopped me. I still don't know why. Poor Miroku-San.
Ed: Of course I made you stop! I wasn't gonna let you give a perverted monk with wondering hands CPR!
Kasumi: Wondering hands?
Ed: Yes! Wondering hands!
Kasumi: What do you mean?
Ed: Ah! Never mind! You other guys know what I'm talking about don't you?
Kenshin: Why would a monk be like that?
Ed: Cause he wants to get laid.
Kasumi: He did not! That reminds me about something!
Kasumi: I told Miroku I would get him a bear child. *Smiles*
Ed: You're an idiot.
Kenshin: I don't think you understand what he asked.
Ed: No she didn't.
Kasumi: Yeah. I heard it with my own ears! Bear child!
Ed: Lets just drop the subject.
Kasumi: Sano, do you know where I can get a bear child? How bout you Kenshin?
Sano: Uhhhh...No, I don't know.
Kenshin: Nope, not at all.
Ed: What do we do know? Can I go get drunk again? Now?
Kasumi: I don't think we have that kinda money now...
Ed: We didn't even pay last time!
Kasumi: You left before I did you don't know that!
Ed: *Gets all dark* I know all!
Kasumi: Shut up! *Pushes Ed down* I don't want to get drunk now!
Ed: Maybe not you! Legato! You want to get drunk again, don't you?
Legato: I don't think it would be smart master.
Legato: You're very hard to catch...
Ed: What are you talking about!?!
Legato: You think monkeys are attacking.
Ed: They were! I swear they were!
Kasumi: You were biting Yahiko!
Ed: *Blinks* I was?
Ed: Oops! *Laughs* But I still want to get drunk!
Ed: You people are no fun!
Kasumi: Don't make me hit you again!
Ed: *Crosses arms and pouts*
Kasumi: *Thwacks over the head*
Ed: What I do?!?
Kasumi: Hn. *Walks inside*
Ed: She just... *Whirls around and punches Sano in the face.*
Kenshin: Why did you just do that?!
Ed: I was pissed! It was punch him or punch you- And I like you more than him.
Kenshin: um...thank you....I guess. Sano are you alright?
Sano: *Cursing under his breath and holding his face* I think she broke something.
Kenshin: You want Miss Magumi to look at it?
Sano: I don't know... *Moves his hand from his face* Does it look bad?
Kenshin: Just a little bleeding. It's going to bruise tomorrow.
Sano: Damn that psycho bitch!
Ed: Rot in hell roster head! *Flicks him off*
Kenshin: please you two, don't fight!
Ed: Why not? Fighting's fun!
Kenshin: But you have no reason to fight!
Ed: Yes huh! I may be a psycho bitch, but I don't like stating it! Except the psycho part- I take pride in that fact.
Kenshin: No one started anything!
Ed: I started it by hitting him, and I'm gonna finish it!
Kenshin: Please, stop! Why do you want to hurt Sano?!
Ed: Cause I'm pissed and I need to work it off before I snap and kill someone.
Kenshin: That isn't a good reason to hurt Sano. Do you think Kasumi-Dono would want that?
Ed: She does want me to kill, but if I don't do something I'm gonna snap!
Sano: Does it have to be me!
Ed: Yes! Your the only one here I want to hurt!
Sano: Hey I didn't do anything!
E d: So? Legato's my minion- I don't wanna hurt him!
Sano: I didn't do anything, so get the hell away from me damn it!
Ed: What are going to do about it?
Sano: I'll stop you if I have to.
Ed: Really now? *Takes a step towards Sano*
Sano: Um, Kenshin a little help here.
Ed: What? Can't handle your own fights?
Sano: I'm not gonna hit a girl...
Ed: Just cause I'm a girl? What kind of B.S. is that?!? You're pathetic!
Sano: *Glares at Ed* I'm not going to hit you back!
Ed: Wimp!! Pansy ass bitch roster head!!
Sano: *Gets up and goes inside*
Ed: Damn it!! Now I'm even more pissed!!
Kenshin: *Runs away*
Ed: Damn it!!
Yahiko: Ugly, ugly, ugly!
Kaoru: I'm going to kill you!!!
Ed: *Smile wickedly* There's my new targets.