Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Crazy for you ❯ there's no way but up ( Chapter 17 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: Okay! This chapter is going to be shared Ryou and Mariku centric because I want both views on things and don't want to put them in different chapters. It will start with Ryou and you'll notice when it changes. On with the chapter!


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Ryou and Ishizu had just gotten back from the police station. They had of course informed Ryou's father who had bailed him out and told that he'd come to Japan as soon as he could. The police had asked some questions from both of them and so had the mental hospital personnel that had been there.

Ryou had wanted to see Mariku but they had told him that he couldn't because he was still unconscious and they needed to keep him under close observation the next few days or so.
Now they had just arrived to Ishizu's place and it was late afternoon. Ryou had just gone from feeling desperate and miserable to feeling numb and terribly tired of everything. Ishizu was trying to comfort him without much success, nothing seemed to work so she just decided it would be better to leave him be for now.

“I missed my shower this morning.” Ryou stated dully and headed to the bathroom. Ishizu let him go but wondered if she should keep an eye on him so he didn't do anything stupid, like drown himself.

He just stood there, under the running water, eyes closed and trying not to think. It wasn't all that easy though but the tears were much more harder to tell different from the running water. He really had thought that he had cried his share when his mother and sister died but apparently that wasn't the case after all.

After a while Ryou just slid down on the floor, not finding it in him to stand anymore. The water pelted down on him and the floor was cold but he didn't care, he didn't care about anything anymore. Mariku had been taken back to the loony bin, just when things were starting to look up too. He could maybe still see him, if he went to the mental hospital but that wouldn't be the same at all. Things would go backwards and all would be ruined. Everything, all the positive changes in Mariku would just go down the drain, so would his newly established relationship with his sister.

“Everything...” Ryou didn't even realize he had said that out loud. Didn't those people even stop to think what their actions could do? Apparently not, they had just ruined three people's life. He felt a wave of hate for them coarse through him, but then he realized that they were only doing their job, doing what they saw best, not knowing anything that had been going on behind the closed doors. He just needed to direct his anger somewhere. The numbness gave away to emotions and he hugged his legs tightly and buried his head on his knees.

Suddenly the shower was turned off and a warm towel was wrapped around him and he was gently helped to his feet.

“It's time for you to come out, you'll get sick.” Ishizu said quietly, helping Ryou out of the shower. She hugged him for a good while before letting go and handing him his clothing. “I brought you fresh clothes.” She said, smiling gently then leaving Ryou to dry himself and dress.

“Thank you...” Ryou whispered at the door Ishizu had just walked out of. Somehow they had become pretty close too, in an older sister, little brother kind of way.

He got out of the bathroom and headed for his room that he had previously shared with Mariku. Ryou let himself fall onto the bed. He felt so tired but couldn't go to sleep, the bed felt so big, cold and lonely. It was only afternoon but he thought that maybe he could sleep his pain off, it was no use though if he couldn't fall asleep.

Ryou wrapped the covers in a long roll, hugging it with both his arms and legs, picturing it to be the very person he already missed so dearly. It didn't help much and only caused him to cry a bit in the covers and get cold when he didn't have any of them on him. His still wet hair made a wet stain in the mattress that spread all over the bed, making him even colder than he was before. He buried his face into the covers and felt as if they were choking him and wrapping all around his body until his lungs ached.

Then Ryou woke up and realized that it had been a dream and that he was still hugging the covers made imitation of Mariku. He wondered if he was finally losing it though that would be good in a way, he would be sent to the same place Mariku was in.

Ishizu entered the room silently and placed something on the bed. “I forgot to mention, they gave me his old clothes since he'll be wearing the ones they give him in the mental hospital.”
Ryou turned to her and took the shirt, putting it on to get some comfort and curled back up. Ishizu sighed tiredly.

“Do you want anything to eat? You haven't eaten all day...”

“No...”

“Ok, just don't starve yourself.” With that Ishizu left again, giving Ryou his space.

Now he couldn't sleep anymore and had no idea what time it was, not that it really mattered anyway. The shirt smelled nice and he pulled it over his head, covering it with the shirt. It was nice and dark in there and he never wanted to come out again.

“I miss you already...” Ryou whispered to himself. The scent reminded him of Mariku. It was a painful reminder but also made the covers made imitation feel more real. He hugged it a bit tighter and buried his face into it.


The alarm clock on the nightstand showed past midnight. Ryou was really tired, it was more mental tiredness than physical but sleep would have been nice. It would help on the tiredness and it would also prevent him form thinking so much, thinking was bad, he didn't want to think at all. Mariku had said that he thought too much... Well, that was true but he couldn't help it, couldn't help thinking how the other was doing and when would they see each other again. Wondering if the other was thinking of him... Though it wouldn't be a surprise if he was too busy being pissed off at everyone and confirming that he was crazy to spare Ryou a thought.

It was amazing how a single thought can make one feel worse and strangely better at the same time.

During the night Ryou had thought about things and gone through everything that had happened in the past couple of months. From the time he first saw Mariku's file, to their first meeting, how Ishizu came along. Then there was the time he was trapped in his own apartment, then the stabbing of the guys from the mental hospital, moving to Ishizu's... Then there was all the things that made them closer, mentally and physically. The foot rub, him comforting Mariku when he was having a nightmare, first real kiss, the time when the other shared his troubled past and of course there was the almost constant use of his nickname. At first it had felt embarrassing, when he had got it soon after they met, but now Ryou was happy to have it, it somehow made him Mariku's. Ryou liked to be his and wanted to be too.

“Oh god...” He whispered to the night. “I love him...”

How could have he not seen it before? Or at least he hadn't consciously recognized the way he felt. Now it seemed so obvious that he actually felt rather stupid for not realizing it before.

With the realization, came the need to let the person, who he felt so strongly about, know. Of course he couldn't be sure what the other's reaction would be though Ryou was sure Mariku felt something. It would be wonderful if his feelings were returned but it didn't matter as long as he wouldn't be pushed away, so that he could keep loving him.


“Ryou, I got your breakfast.” Ishizu's voice woke him up the next morning. Ryou opened his eyes, surprised that he had slept at all. Ishizu had a trait with her, with tea and toast. “You should eat something.” She said and smiled a bit.

“Thanks...” He took a bite of the toast and sipped the tea. Ryou felt terribly hungry after not eating yesterday.

“There's something you should know.” Ishizu suddenly blurted out, Ryou stopped eating and looked at her, waiting her to continue.

“You know that your teacher, Akishima, is my psychologist, right?” Ryou nodded. “I told him about Mariku.” Ryou's eyes widened a bit. “It was supposed to be confidential! I just needed to get all that stuff off my chest...”

“So you think that he..?” Ryou asked carefully.

“Yes, but believe me when I say that he meant well. You have to understand that Mariku killed his best friend so he thinks that he knows better than anyone how dangerous my brother can be.”

Ryou just looked down, not knowing how to react or what to say. He couldn't find it in him to be angry at Ishizu nor to his teacher, they had both done what they deemed best.

“I'm so sorry...” Ishizu whispered.

Ryou smiled at her a bit. “It's ok, I'm not angry at you or Mr. Akishima.” Being with Mariku for so long had also bettered his ability of to forgive and forget, it seemed, that was certainly needed with him.

“Really? I mean it's ok if you are, that would be understandable.”

“Really, I'm not.” Ryou assured. “This tea is really good, Ishizu. Thank you.”

She looked almost ready to cry. “You're welcome.” She sniffed a bit and wiped the corner of her eye. “Now eat up, I'm sure Mariku wouldn't like you to starve.” Ishizu stood up from the corner of the bed she had previously sat on and walked towards the door.

“Ryou? I'm calling in the mental hospital to ask if we can visit soon. I'm sure they can't keep us away for long now, I'll tell you if they give us a time and date.” With that she left, leaving Ryou with his breakfast.


Mariku was not a happy person. “The attack” had come out of nowhere and now he had been feeling dizzy and sick ever since he had woken up in the white room. What the hell did they think they were trying to tranquilize? A horse? His head hurt.

The whiteness was starting to get to his eyes after being in a non-white space for so long. It didn't help much either that he had been in almost coma when they brought him here so now he had no idea where exactly he was. Sure it had to be the same place he had escaped from but where there? Was this his old room? They all looked the same anyway...

Someone had brought him food when he was out, it looked terrible and not edible at all. It reminded him of puke and there was no way he would eat that, no one in their right minds wanted to eat puke. So what he wasn't really in his right mind, he still was not eating it.

And what about Ryou? Those guys better not have hurt him or there would be hell to pay. Though there probably was already but there would be even heller to pay then.

His mind had some serious trouble in keeping his thoughts focused on one thing for more than two seconds max so they just sailed form Ryou to food and then randomly to the security camera hanging from the ceiling. Hmm... That was interesting, he was pretty sure that there hadn't been one in his old room so he obviously wasn't there now. Then back to the white haired male. Was he ok? Why was the camera constantly pointing at him? A little privacy would sure be nice.

In a pretty random spout of rage Mariku threw his food trait towards the security camera, missing it slightly because of his dizzy state. The food spilled on the floor and the plate broke. Great... Now there was puke looking stuff on his floor... Good thing it didn't smell like puke.

“Stop spying on me dammit!” He yelled at the camera and tried to sit up. He managed that but his headache spiked up and he held his head.

“Oh, you're awake finally.” A voice came from the speaker next to the camera. “Please calm yourself, this is for your own good.”

“Fuck you...” Mariku mumbled, not feeling like yelling, it didn't do good things to his aching head.

“Excuse me? You should really eat your food instead of throwing it around.” The god dammed annoying voice said.

“I told you to go fuck yourself! I'm not eating something that looks like vomit! Ow, my head...” Yelling was not good for him but at least it got the voice to shut up.

Now that he had already sitting up, he decided to try and stand. It caused a bit difficulty at first but he managed to get up and take a few steps. Then he stepped on his “food” with his bare foot and jumped back, cursing and wiping it on the corner of the bed sheet. The plate had been made of some kind of sorry excuse for plastic, it looked pretty sharp so he pocketed a piece, trying to avoid the camera all the while. Maybe it would come in handy.

The room didn't have a window, the door didn't even have one of those shutters on it. It was just plain and white, but it was that kind of annoying hospital white, not like Ryou's hair. It stung a bit that he didn't know when, if ever, would he see the other. It felt weird to actually care about someone else, to feel something besides hate towards another person, but it was there anyway.

Little by little his thoughts were starting to keep together and he no longer felt so bad, not physically at least. Mariku walked around a bit, careful not to step on the mess on the floor. It made his thoughts clearer but didn't chase away the feeling that he was missing something, that something important was lacking. So the place lacked color but that wasn't it, it was something far more meaningful.

After walking small circles in the room a while, he sat back down on the bed, just then the cleaner came to the room with some other person. The cleaner worked quickly, as if fearing that staying too long would get him infected with something. Mariku didn't feel like actually doing anything so he just sat there, they were getting the puke looking stuff off his floor after all. Just as quickly as they had came, they left, leaving him alone once again, not that he would have wanted them to stay.

Wetness formed in the corner of his eye and he tried to blink it away but that only managed to make it fall down his cheek. It stung and made him close the eye. Why was he-? Was he? No, that wasn't possible. Apparently he was subconsciously more attached to his emotions than he wanted to admit, or acknowledge for that matter. He had just been separated from the person who meant the most to him, who had practically been his whole world for the past few weeks or so.


A couple of days had passed and Mariku was throughout-ly tired of dwelling, thinking, pacing around and not eating anything except that sorry excuse for food. He wanted to see Ryou and he wanted to see him now.

“Hey, you people behind the camera!” Mariku called for the camera still hanging from the ceiling. “Has anyone wanted to visit me?”

“Your sister has been calling to us since yesterday.” Came the tired sounding voice from the speaker.

“When is she coming?”

“I don't know these things but I would guess that soon.”

That was good... She would most likely bring Ryou with her. The thought almost made him smile a bit, as much as it was possible for him. There was no question that he missed the other.
He just settled to wait, they had to come eventually. It was extremely boring and when you wait someone, or something, the time almost feels to pass slower. Minutes turned to hours, several hours and Mariku could feel himself falling asleep from the boredom. He dozed off for a bit but then the sound of the door opening slowly woke him up again.

Mariku's eyes snapped to the door and he sat up quickly, waiting for whoever it was to come in. The door opened and the person carefully stepped in, looking at him with his warm brown eyes, which seemed to be in the brink of tears.

“Ryou...” Mariku felt something tug his heart at the sight of the other who smiled and cried at the same time, opening and closing his mouth but not being able to find the right words. For a second longer he was frozen on his spot but then he made a bee line across the room, almost smothering the smaller male by holding him and making them bump on the door, closing it.

“I missed you so much-mmph...” Ryou started but was interrupted by the other's mouth on his. It was always Ryou who preferred talk anyway.

Ryou clang to him like he never wanted to let go again and pressed himself as close as he could get, wrapping his legs around Mariku's waist and letting him explore his mouth. The kiss spoke volumes; 'I missed you', 'I need you' as they tried to get as close as it was humanly possible with clothes still on.

Without them knowing it, or caring for the matter, they were giving quite the show for the people in the security room as they saw it all through the camera. The other of the two dug out his popcorn, while the other looked away after staring stupidly for a while.

Air was becoming a problem and their lungs ached for it but their bodies and hearts ached to continue what they were doing. One could not be without air for long, unfortunately, so they had to brake apart for it. They stayed there gasping for air and looking each other in the eye for a while.

“I missed you too...” Mariku whispered and captured the lips again, starting off gentler, taking his sweet time and letting Ryou take his responding. The smaller tongue greeted his as the kiss slowly turned more demanding, both wanting to suck out the other's very soul. The shared body heat was making the room feel warmer than it really was and the clothing was starting cling to them uncomfortably, separating them from being truly close.

Mariku's hand was traveling up Ryou side, other behind his head, thumb rubbing small patters on the side of the neck. Ryou's hand was buried in the other's hair while the other was going in his sleeve, seeking the skin on skin contact.

The tanned hand was traveling slowly downwards, going for the hemline of the jeans the other was wearing, searching for a way to get rid of them. He found the button and felt Ryou's lashes brush his face as he suddenly snapped his eyes open. Ryou's slightly smaller hand closed around his, stopping him from going any further. Mariku opened his eyes to look at the brown ones, they had a bit fearful look in them.

“I don't think we should...” Ryou said quietly. Mariku nodded a bit, kissing the smaller male on the forehead and moving his hand away. Ryou smiled thankfully, burring his face on the other's shoulder and letting his legs touch the floor once again.

Almost a disappointed sound came from the speaker hanging from the ceiling, catching their attention.

Ryou turned very red when he saw the camera. “I didn't know you had a surveillance camera in here...”

“I forgot.”

“Um, they saw us?”

“Yep, if they were perverted enough to watch.”

“Oh...”

A loud smack was heard next and a female voice scolded someone. “How dare you spy on their reunion?!” It was Ishizu who had previously wisely let Ryou go to meet her brother alone and had been just now guided to the surveillance room.

“She's here too?” Mariku asked.

“Of course. She just thought it would be better for me to come alone first.”

“Can't say that she was wrong.”

“Uh, yeah...”

Ishizu too joined them after a while, before the visiting hours ended and they were driven away. Just before they disappeared through the door, Mariku could have sworn that he heard an almost inaudible 'I love you' being said.


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A/N: I can spell “surveillance” now (Great, I know xD) I hope I didn't go over “minor suggestive adult themes” there, whatever that actually means... I sure did in my head ;) Ahem, yeah... I hope you liked. One more chapter to go, and epilogue, but I left a bit much stuff in the last chapter so we'll just have to see how I go with it.

Please review!