Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Like A Pack Of... What? ❯ Day 3: Squirrels, Hyperactivity, and Wal-Mart ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Sailor Mini Venus 
In which Bakura drives recklessly, Mariku does something stupid, and Wal-Mart is destroyed.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Adventure | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.11.2006 | Updated On: 10.11.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 348 | Status: Work In Progress
In which Bakura drives recklessly, Mariku does something stupid, and Wal-Mart is destroyed.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Adventure | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.11.2006 | Updated On: 10.11.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 348 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. I don't even own Nixxus Gene Lexus, Roman Jacob Lexus Jr., or Alexandrian James Lexus, as they belong to my dear friend Seto-chan (who now has an account on here! Is it rude to ask you all to go check out the one story she has posted? Her penname is Seto-chanluvj-kun.) And nor do I own Wal-Mart.
Warnings: Shonen ai, that means boyxboy, folks. Some cursing. And OOC-ness, which is abundant because it's what makes this story so funny. I try to make them in-character as much as I can, but I usually wind up failing. Ah well, the OOC-ness is supposed to be there, everyone. Don't like it, don't read. If you like it or find it amusing or both, read on and enjoy the insanity!
Edited: September 24, 2006
Day 3
Food: None
Sanity: Slowly fading
Today, Bakura is driving. Yes, you read this correctly; Bakura is driving. And I’m stuck up in the front with my lunatic yami who has his heavy metal music cranked all the way up. Thus far, we have run over several squirrels (some of which weren’t even on the road), a turtle, two snakes, Duke’s dice, and a stop sign or two. We also narrowly avoided a tree or two, the other cars, a bridge, and a shrubbery.
And also, the seating arrangements have changed again. Now Mariku, Malik, Yami, and Duke are behind us; Nixx, Mokuba, Serenity, and Yugi are behind them; and Kaiba and Joey are in the very back together. And Bakura said he wasn’t going to help me. (-insert rolling eyes-)
So here we are. Bakura’s got his music turned up so loud that the van vibrates and pulses along with the music, Yami and Duke are playing Dungeon Dice Monsters on a handheld thing Duke made up, Kaiba and Joey are arguing, Mariku’s chanting ‘do it again’! over and over, Malik’s writing something, Yugi’s reading a book he borrowed from me, and Nixx is flirting with Mokuba, who is flirting back.
So all is normal. Oh dear… now we’re pulling off the road for a stop. Maybe it has something to do with the pixie sticks Nixx found?
0-0-0-0-0
Bakura glares up at the trees as Mariku and Nixx run circles around him screaming something about rabid animals. Meanwhile, Joey has dragged Seto off to get snacks and some coffee. The rest are either walking around or sitting on top of the picnic tables watching Mariku and Nixx.
“It’s a squirrel! It’s a squirrel! Kill it! Kill it!” Mariku shouts as he jumps onto Bakura’s back. “Kill it Bakura! It’s gonna eat me!”
“I want a hug!” Nixx randomly shouts as he stops running. He looks around for a moment before his blue eyes spot Mokuba. “Mokie-love! I want to hug you!” He runs over and tackle-hugs Mokuba, knocking the younger boy backwards off the table.
The two land together in the soft grass, and Nixx proceeds to nuzzle against Mokuba’s cheek, murmuring, “I love my Mokie-kins, yes I do! My Mokie-love! All mine.”
Mokuba just giggles and runs a hand through Nixx’s turquoise and light blue hair.
Mariku’s screeches of man-eating squirrels continues, to Bakura’s growing annoyance and everyone else’s amusement. Even Nixx pauses in his nuzzling for a millisecond to watch.
It’s around the time that Bakura drops Mariku on the ground and starts chasing the squirrels in attempt to kill them to get Mariku to shut up that Joey and Seto return. Joey’s arms are loaded up with various snacks while Seto has two cups of coffee. One of the cups is for himself, and the other…. For himself.
“What the hell is going on?” Seto asks, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Bakura running around cursing out the furry little squirrels.
“Well…” Yugi uncertainly begins. “You know Nixx found those pixie sticks and gave some to Mariku so they’re both hyper. And while you and Joey were gone, Mariku jumped on Bakura’s back yelling something about squirrels and how they want to eat him. Oh, and Nixx glomped Mokuba and started nuzzling him and whispering strange things.”
“I told you we missed somethin’!” Joey yells at Seto. “But nooo, you had to glare at all the people in there and make them so uncomfortable that they kept fumbling with the coffee machine! So that took forever, and then you made the people at the vending machine’s all uncomfortable so they got all flustered and couldn’t choose what they wanted! And then you glared at the machine and it broke down when I was tryin’ to get my snacks!”
Seto rolls his eyes and takes a gulp of his black coffee before he replies. “Wheeler, the machine did not break down because I glared at it. It broke down because you kicked it when it wouldn’t give you the damn donuts because you pushed too many buttons.”
Joey scowls and walks over to the van so he can put up his snacks. It’s now that Seto realizes one of the things Yugi said and whirls around to glare at Nixx, accidentally spilling some of his burning hot coffee on Duke, who yells a curse as he jumps up and accidentally smacks Yugi in the face, who in turn falls into Yami who falls off the table and lands on the grass after his head whacks against the side of the wooden picnic table.
“LEXUS GET OFF MY BROTHER!”
Normally, that roar of anger would be the beginning of one of Seto and Nixx’s infamous battles over Mokuba, but this time Nixx is too high on sugar to pay Seto any attention at all. And since Seto’s busy yelling at Nixx, he’s paying no attention to his coffee.
One can only guess what could happen next.
Mariku plus coffee plus an insane amount of sugar equals total chaos and mass destruction. Simply put, he dumps a bunch of sugar into Seto’s coffee, stirs it up with a spork he keeps in his pocket and then sneaks off to help Bakura kill the furry things all the while laughing maniacally. Nothing odd there.
So, for the remaining twenty minutes Seto sits there glaring at Nixx while drinking his coffee, Yugi and Ryou discuss their yami’s, Malik and Mariku make out, Joey sits in the van and starts eating his snacks, Duke and Serenity quietly talk about what they’re going to do at the mall, Bakura continues to torture the squirrels, and Mokuba and Nixx sit there and flirt with one another.
It’s about the time that Seto starts on his second cup of coffee while wondering why it tastes different than usual, that the squirrels strike back.
Now normally squirrels are nice, peaceful, tree-dwelling creatures that eat nuts. But these squirrels are different. They’re a little… “special”. These squirrels are “rabid“. And so these squirrels fight back when faced with the threat that is Bakura.
The first clue that the squirrels are preparing to attack is when they all climb up onto high branches armed with nuts. Then they all stop chattering and focus solely on Bakura, who remains unaware of the armed squirrels and is busy chasing the decoys with a lighter and a stick. And then one throws a nut at Bakura.
What follows is pure and utter pandemonium. Mariku screams, “The squirrels are attacking! The squirrels are attacking!”, Bakura resumes cursing out the squirrels while dodging nuts, and the others run for the van and get in. After five minutes of yelling, cursing, running, and nuts being thrown, Bakura and Mariku make a break for the van and dive in. Somehow, Bakura finds a gun in the car, rolls down his window, and shoots at the squirrels before he runs out of bullets. By that time the squirrels are running low on nuts and have resorting to jumping on the van. Making sure all the windows are rolled up, Bakura starts the car and slams on the accelerator. And off they go! In reverse.
“Bakura! We’re going backwards, you idiot!” Seto screams. “Put it in drive, you-” He proceeds to curse out Bakura in another language that no one else except for maybe Mokuba can identify.
Bakura mutters something about stuffy CEO’s and annoying squirrels as he puts the car into drive and once again slams on the accelerator. This time they go forward.
The others try their best to ignore the bumps and cracks as they run over half of the attacking squirrels, while Bakura and Mariku cackle evilly.
Fifteen minutes later they’re back to speeding down the road with the heavy metal music turned up. Thankfully, it’s not as loud this time so the others can actually talk and be able to hear one another.
And then, Seto giggles.
The car goes deadly silent before the music blares out of the speakers with a new song. Bakura swerves the car with a curse, muttering something about nearly missing a snake.
Seto giggles again.
Bakura makes Ryou turn down the music so that they can figure out if it’s really Seto who’s giggling.
“Big brother?” Mokuba nervously says. “Are you alright?”
Seto giggles in response and then starts humming. The humming doesn’t last for too long and then he starts singing. “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves! Everybody’s nerves! Everybody’s nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves! And this is how it goes! I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves! And this is how it goes!” And so he continues.
“What did you do to him!” Yami demands Mariku. “I know you did something! What did you do to him!”
“I just put a little sugar in his coffee. That’s all.” Mariku cheerfully replies.
Malik snorts. “A little? Try ten packets in each cup! You’ve gone and gotten him on a sugar high, you moron!”
Mokuba shivers when he hears this. “Yeah, and that’s not a good thing. The last time Seto got sugar high he was so nice to all the maids and servants that they all quit, then he went and dyed his hair green (1) with permanent dye and went and sang at a bunch of karaoke bars wearing a neon blue shirt with sequins on it and a pair of leather pants! And then he woke up with no memory of it the next day!”
The others have a laugh over this while Mokuba looks worriedly back at his brother, who has gone from singing, “the song that gets on everybody’s nerves”, to singing, “how much is that doggy in the window” while petting Joey’s head.
“Bakura slow down!” Ryou suddenly hisses. “There’s a police officer up ahead and you don’t need to get pulled over! You don’t have a license!”
“The fuzz! Where!” Mariku pops out of his seat holding a large water gun and a couple of water balloons shaped like grenades.
“Sit down you fool!” Malik hisses, jerking his yami back down onto the seat. “Do you not remember what happened the last time you did that? Isis got so pissed that she kicked us out of the house for a month, and when she let us back in she refused to feed us for three months!”
Mariku looks confused. “Hikari-mine, I don’t remember that.”
Bakura snickers. “That’s because you were the one who got hit by the two-by-four that Isis threw.”
Mariku thinks for a minute and then gives up and goes back to looking for the police officer. Meanwhile, Ryou gets Bakura to slow down so they don’t get pulled and Seto’s suddenly freaks out.
“I swear if we get arrested because somebody thinks we’re sneaking into the country, you’re all going to die!” Seto suddenly yells, glaring at everyone.
The others are silent for a moment.
“Seto, Japan is an island.” Mokuba speaks up.
This time it’s Seto who is silent as he thinks about this. “Well, damn.” He mutters. “Alright then. Sure.” Then he goes right back to his singing and petting Joey’s head.
Another half hour passes and Nixx somehow catches sight of a Wal-Mart sign in the distance.
“PULL OVER!”
Bakura slams on the brakes, startled by Nixx’s sudden yell. “What the hell are you on, Lexus!” He screams back, once they’ve pulled off the road and into a ditch.
“But it’s Wal-Mart!” Nixx exclaims. “Mokie-love promised to let me go to Wal-Mart if we came across one! He promised to buy me all the pink things I want!”
“I love Wal-Mart!” Seto suddenly announces, making everyone jump. He’s been relatively quiet for the past half hour. “I want to go to Wal-Mart too!”
Bakura turns around to stare at the CEO, cursing Mariku for putting sugar in the coffee. It reminds him of the time when the blonde yami put a bunch of packets in Ryou and Malik’s tea and then made them sugar cookies. Miraculously, he managed not to burn the house down, although the stove did get sent to the Shadow Realm.
“Fine we’ll go to the fucking Wal-Mart.” Bakura growls, turning back around. “Wheeler! Keep your idiot under control! Nixx, sit the fuck down!”
“He’s not my idiot!” Joey shouts back. “In fact, he’s not my anything!”
Bakura rolls his eyes and slams on the gas to get back on the road. “Sure. You say that now, but what will you be saying later I wonder.”
And so they head to Wal-Mart, where they can wreak even more havoc than usual. And it’s not just any Wal-Mart; it’s a Super Wal-Mart.
Along the way, Bakura entertains himself by scaring the pedestrians, flipping off people, and cackling maniacally as he plows through a stop sign.
Once Bakura parks, somehow managing to take up four parking spaces, everyone jumps out and practically runs into Wal-Mart. Well, Joey is dragged by Seto and Malik is dragged by Mariku and Yugi is dragged by Yami and Ryou is dragged by Bakura, but everyone else runs in to escape the seagulls flying overhead. The reason for the abnormal fear of the birds? Well, somehow they got into discussing ‘The Birds’ and so the yami’s now have a fear of all birds. And Seto’s just excited and high on sugar, so that’s his excuse.
Once inside, Bakura and Ryou head off to the crafts section because Ryou wants to look for some clay and Bakura just wants to cause havoc and chaos; Mariku drags Malik to the sports section because he wants to unleash an army of balls upon the store; Joey and Seto go to the food section; Serenity, Duke, Yami, and Yugi go to the electronic department; and Nixx and Mokuba go to the toy section to start their hunt for pink things.
“Hey Nixx, look what I found!” Mokuba yells to his boyfriend, holding up a pink kitten. “Isn’t it cute?”
Nixx squeals and zooms over to Mokuba, taking the plushie and hugging it tightly. “Oh Mokie! I love it! It’s so cute! It’s just adorable! I shall name it…” He pauses dramatically. “Pinky!”
Mokuba sweat drops.
And then, a little girl walks down the isle and sees Nixx holding the kitty. Deciding that she wants it and figuring that no boy wants a pink stuffed animal, she walks over and tugs on Nixx’s pants.
“‘scuse me mister, can I see the kitty please?” She asks cutely.
Mokuba gives Nixx a warning look that clearly says, “Behave or else.”.
Nixx pouts and then hands the kitty to the little girl, who smiles and takes it and starts walking off. He panics. “Hey! Where are you going with that! You just said you wanted to see it!”
The little girl stops and hugs the kitty tightly. “I’m going to get her. Mommy promised to let me pick out what toy I wanted, and I want this kitty.”
Nixx growls, storms over, and snatches the kitty from the little girl. “Well that’s too bad, ‘cause he’s MINE! My Mokie picked him out special for me, and that makes him mine! So go find some other toy!”
The little girl starts crying, and Nixx runs off and grabs Mokuba so that they get away before the little girl’s mother arrives. Nixx has had enough experience in the past with the mothers of little girls who he’s taken pink toys from because he had them first. You’d think he’d have learned by now not to let the girls see the toy.
“I can’t believe you did that!” Mokuba exclaims. “That was mean, Nixx! You made the little girl cry! You should have just let her have the kitty!”
Nixx tugs Mokuba back to a wall where nobody else is at and pins the smaller boy against it. “But you picked it out thinking of me and that makes it special.” He says. “And now… I want to thank you.”
“In Wal-Mart!” Mokuba hisses. “Can’t it wait until- Mmph!”
In true Nixx fashion, Nixx has chosen his favorite method of making his boyfriend be quiet and has kissed him. Mokuba gives in to his boyfriend, kissing him back and wrapping his arms around his neck.
But all good things must come to an end eventually and this time it’s because of Seto and Joey.
“Kaiba! I am not going to wear the damn collar!” Joey yells, running from the blue-eyed CEO. He runs past Nixx and Mokuba, paying them no mind.
Seto chases after Joey, running past Nixx and Mokuba as well, holding a blue collar in his hands. Instead of continuing on and ignoring them, he stops to see what they’re doing. And it’s then that his sugar-induced high wears off. “LEXUS! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BROTHER! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT IN A PUBLIC PLACE!”
0-0-0-0-0
So after the Wal-Mart fiasco we somehow manage to get back into the van without anyone killing anyone. And Seto’s driving now, so things aren’t as tense as before. Maybe now we’ll actually make it to the mall.
Since Seto’s driving, the seating arrangements have changed once again. Now Joey’s back up front with Seto and Nixx, Serenity, and Duke are behind them; Malik, Yugi, Mokuba, and I are in the very back seats; and Yami, Mariku, and Bakura are back with the luggage.
I think I see the mall. If it’s the really tall building with all the windows. Nixx seems to be excited about seeing it, so I’m assuming that that’s the mall. And since it’s late and the mall closes soon, we’re going to have to head to a hotel already and go there tomorrow. I’m not sure whether I’m looking forward to going to the mall or not. We’ve already destroyed three other stores- the gas station, the Burger King, and the Wal-Mart and malls generally have more things.
I hope we all survive the night… Bakura doesn’t look too happy about being forced to sit with the luggage again.
~R. Bakura
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Where In The World Is Tristan Taylor? (a few paragraphs for Tristan. Just because.)
Tristan yawns and looks around, expecting to see Duke laying in the bed opposite of him. To his surprise, he's not in a hotel room at all, but laying on a tree branch. He screams and falls from the branch, landing heavily on the ground.
After a minute or so of laying there he sits up and looks around, hoping that it's all just a horrible dream and he's really not lost out in the middle of a forest. And by the looks of the position of the sun it's around noon which means the others are gone; they forgot about him.
"Damn them." Tristan mutters. "I bet Devlin is behind this! Although he's not this clever. He probably would have locked me in a closet or something stupid." He rolls his eyes. "Oh well, at least now I won't die by falling out a window. I just know Devlin pushed me. Or maybe it was Lexus. He was the one who made me roll down my window. And then he started kissing Mokuba when he knew Kaiba would freak out and either slam on the breaks or swerve!" He pauses in the middle of his ranting, a thought crossing his mind. "Man, I'm glad I'm not in that car anymore."
-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A- T-?--O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-
(1) 'tis the return of the green hair dye! I couldn't resist. I really couldn't.
0-0-0-0
Character thoughts:
Seto: Must resist the urge to kill Lexus... must resist the urge to kill Lexus... must resist the urge to kiss Wheeler- WHAT THE HELL!!!
Mokuba: I wonder if Seto actually bought that collar for Joey...
Joey: I can't believe he tried to make me wear a collar in Wal-Mart. I never want to see Kaiba hyper again. Never.
Yugi: Yami doesn't look so good.
Yami: (swears Bakura gave him a concussion when he slammed a suitcase onto his head)
Nixx: And tonight I shall sleep with Mokuba! (pauses) Now that thought I like...
Duke: I hope I get a room to myself this time. Or maybe one with sweet Serenity. No, Joey would kill me. I don't want to die yet.
Serenity: I hope Tristan is okay....
Bakura: (plotting the death of the squirrels)
Ryou: Killer... squirrels?
Malik: Damn... now I wish I had gotten those fireworks at Wal-Mart before the others went and got us kicked out for making out in the isles.
Mariku: (humming a random song)
0-0-0-0
Shiro: Hello everyone! Sorry for the month-long wait! I really am sorry. School restarted and I had a small case of writers block. And I really haven't had all that much time on the computer.
Bast: And you got distracted by the Kingdom Hearts fanfictions. (smirks) Or was that not a good excuse.
Shiro: T.T Shut up.
Bast: Wrap it up here so you can finish that Chaos story and then you can work on this one more. That way the only story you'll have to work on is Family Bonds and whatever Kingdom Hearts fic you've started. Not to mention your vampire story.
Shiro: (ignoring Bast) I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! And again, I'm sorry for taking so long to get it out. I'll try to get the next one out in less than a month. Preferably in less than half a month. (sighs) We'll see how it goes...
Warnings: Shonen ai, that means boyxboy, folks. Some cursing. And OOC-ness, which is abundant because it's what makes this story so funny. I try to make them in-character as much as I can, but I usually wind up failing. Ah well, the OOC-ness is supposed to be there, everyone. Don't like it, don't read. If you like it or find it amusing or both, read on and enjoy the insanity!
Edited: September 24, 2006
-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?--O-F- F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-
Day 3: Squirrels, Hyperactivity, and Wal-Mart
Log of the Road TripDay 3: Squirrels, Hyperactivity, and Wal-Mart
Day 3
Food: None
Sanity: Slowly fading
Today, Bakura is driving. Yes, you read this correctly; Bakura is driving. And I’m stuck up in the front with my lunatic yami who has his heavy metal music cranked all the way up. Thus far, we have run over several squirrels (some of which weren’t even on the road), a turtle, two snakes, Duke’s dice, and a stop sign or two. We also narrowly avoided a tree or two, the other cars, a bridge, and a shrubbery.
And also, the seating arrangements have changed again. Now Mariku, Malik, Yami, and Duke are behind us; Nixx, Mokuba, Serenity, and Yugi are behind them; and Kaiba and Joey are in the very back together. And Bakura said he wasn’t going to help me. (-insert rolling eyes-)
So here we are. Bakura’s got his music turned up so loud that the van vibrates and pulses along with the music, Yami and Duke are playing Dungeon Dice Monsters on a handheld thing Duke made up, Kaiba and Joey are arguing, Mariku’s chanting ‘do it again’! over and over, Malik’s writing something, Yugi’s reading a book he borrowed from me, and Nixx is flirting with Mokuba, who is flirting back.
So all is normal. Oh dear… now we’re pulling off the road for a stop. Maybe it has something to do with the pixie sticks Nixx found?
0-0-0-0-0
Bakura glares up at the trees as Mariku and Nixx run circles around him screaming something about rabid animals. Meanwhile, Joey has dragged Seto off to get snacks and some coffee. The rest are either walking around or sitting on top of the picnic tables watching Mariku and Nixx.
“It’s a squirrel! It’s a squirrel! Kill it! Kill it!” Mariku shouts as he jumps onto Bakura’s back. “Kill it Bakura! It’s gonna eat me!”
“I want a hug!” Nixx randomly shouts as he stops running. He looks around for a moment before his blue eyes spot Mokuba. “Mokie-love! I want to hug you!” He runs over and tackle-hugs Mokuba, knocking the younger boy backwards off the table.
The two land together in the soft grass, and Nixx proceeds to nuzzle against Mokuba’s cheek, murmuring, “I love my Mokie-kins, yes I do! My Mokie-love! All mine.”
Mokuba just giggles and runs a hand through Nixx’s turquoise and light blue hair.
Mariku’s screeches of man-eating squirrels continues, to Bakura’s growing annoyance and everyone else’s amusement. Even Nixx pauses in his nuzzling for a millisecond to watch.
It’s around the time that Bakura drops Mariku on the ground and starts chasing the squirrels in attempt to kill them to get Mariku to shut up that Joey and Seto return. Joey’s arms are loaded up with various snacks while Seto has two cups of coffee. One of the cups is for himself, and the other…. For himself.
“What the hell is going on?” Seto asks, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Bakura running around cursing out the furry little squirrels.
“Well…” Yugi uncertainly begins. “You know Nixx found those pixie sticks and gave some to Mariku so they’re both hyper. And while you and Joey were gone, Mariku jumped on Bakura’s back yelling something about squirrels and how they want to eat him. Oh, and Nixx glomped Mokuba and started nuzzling him and whispering strange things.”
“I told you we missed somethin’!” Joey yells at Seto. “But nooo, you had to glare at all the people in there and make them so uncomfortable that they kept fumbling with the coffee machine! So that took forever, and then you made the people at the vending machine’s all uncomfortable so they got all flustered and couldn’t choose what they wanted! And then you glared at the machine and it broke down when I was tryin’ to get my snacks!”
Seto rolls his eyes and takes a gulp of his black coffee before he replies. “Wheeler, the machine did not break down because I glared at it. It broke down because you kicked it when it wouldn’t give you the damn donuts because you pushed too many buttons.”
Joey scowls and walks over to the van so he can put up his snacks. It’s now that Seto realizes one of the things Yugi said and whirls around to glare at Nixx, accidentally spilling some of his burning hot coffee on Duke, who yells a curse as he jumps up and accidentally smacks Yugi in the face, who in turn falls into Yami who falls off the table and lands on the grass after his head whacks against the side of the wooden picnic table.
“LEXUS GET OFF MY BROTHER!”
Normally, that roar of anger would be the beginning of one of Seto and Nixx’s infamous battles over Mokuba, but this time Nixx is too high on sugar to pay Seto any attention at all. And since Seto’s busy yelling at Nixx, he’s paying no attention to his coffee.
One can only guess what could happen next.
Mariku plus coffee plus an insane amount of sugar equals total chaos and mass destruction. Simply put, he dumps a bunch of sugar into Seto’s coffee, stirs it up with a spork he keeps in his pocket and then sneaks off to help Bakura kill the furry things all the while laughing maniacally. Nothing odd there.
So, for the remaining twenty minutes Seto sits there glaring at Nixx while drinking his coffee, Yugi and Ryou discuss their yami’s, Malik and Mariku make out, Joey sits in the van and starts eating his snacks, Duke and Serenity quietly talk about what they’re going to do at the mall, Bakura continues to torture the squirrels, and Mokuba and Nixx sit there and flirt with one another.
It’s about the time that Seto starts on his second cup of coffee while wondering why it tastes different than usual, that the squirrels strike back.
Now normally squirrels are nice, peaceful, tree-dwelling creatures that eat nuts. But these squirrels are different. They’re a little… “special”. These squirrels are “rabid“. And so these squirrels fight back when faced with the threat that is Bakura.
The first clue that the squirrels are preparing to attack is when they all climb up onto high branches armed with nuts. Then they all stop chattering and focus solely on Bakura, who remains unaware of the armed squirrels and is busy chasing the decoys with a lighter and a stick. And then one throws a nut at Bakura.
What follows is pure and utter pandemonium. Mariku screams, “The squirrels are attacking! The squirrels are attacking!”, Bakura resumes cursing out the squirrels while dodging nuts, and the others run for the van and get in. After five minutes of yelling, cursing, running, and nuts being thrown, Bakura and Mariku make a break for the van and dive in. Somehow, Bakura finds a gun in the car, rolls down his window, and shoots at the squirrels before he runs out of bullets. By that time the squirrels are running low on nuts and have resorting to jumping on the van. Making sure all the windows are rolled up, Bakura starts the car and slams on the accelerator. And off they go! In reverse.
“Bakura! We’re going backwards, you idiot!” Seto screams. “Put it in drive, you-” He proceeds to curse out Bakura in another language that no one else except for maybe Mokuba can identify.
Bakura mutters something about stuffy CEO’s and annoying squirrels as he puts the car into drive and once again slams on the accelerator. This time they go forward.
The others try their best to ignore the bumps and cracks as they run over half of the attacking squirrels, while Bakura and Mariku cackle evilly.
Fifteen minutes later they’re back to speeding down the road with the heavy metal music turned up. Thankfully, it’s not as loud this time so the others can actually talk and be able to hear one another.
And then, Seto giggles.
The car goes deadly silent before the music blares out of the speakers with a new song. Bakura swerves the car with a curse, muttering something about nearly missing a snake.
Seto giggles again.
Bakura makes Ryou turn down the music so that they can figure out if it’s really Seto who’s giggling.
“Big brother?” Mokuba nervously says. “Are you alright?”
Seto giggles in response and then starts humming. The humming doesn’t last for too long and then he starts singing. “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves! Everybody’s nerves! Everybody’s nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves! And this is how it goes! I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves! And this is how it goes!” And so he continues.
“What did you do to him!” Yami demands Mariku. “I know you did something! What did you do to him!”
“I just put a little sugar in his coffee. That’s all.” Mariku cheerfully replies.
Malik snorts. “A little? Try ten packets in each cup! You’ve gone and gotten him on a sugar high, you moron!”
Mokuba shivers when he hears this. “Yeah, and that’s not a good thing. The last time Seto got sugar high he was so nice to all the maids and servants that they all quit, then he went and dyed his hair green (1) with permanent dye and went and sang at a bunch of karaoke bars wearing a neon blue shirt with sequins on it and a pair of leather pants! And then he woke up with no memory of it the next day!”
The others have a laugh over this while Mokuba looks worriedly back at his brother, who has gone from singing, “the song that gets on everybody’s nerves”, to singing, “how much is that doggy in the window” while petting Joey’s head.
“Bakura slow down!” Ryou suddenly hisses. “There’s a police officer up ahead and you don’t need to get pulled over! You don’t have a license!”
“The fuzz! Where!” Mariku pops out of his seat holding a large water gun and a couple of water balloons shaped like grenades.
“Sit down you fool!” Malik hisses, jerking his yami back down onto the seat. “Do you not remember what happened the last time you did that? Isis got so pissed that she kicked us out of the house for a month, and when she let us back in she refused to feed us for three months!”
Mariku looks confused. “Hikari-mine, I don’t remember that.”
Bakura snickers. “That’s because you were the one who got hit by the two-by-four that Isis threw.”
Mariku thinks for a minute and then gives up and goes back to looking for the police officer. Meanwhile, Ryou gets Bakura to slow down so they don’t get pulled and Seto’s suddenly freaks out.
“I swear if we get arrested because somebody thinks we’re sneaking into the country, you’re all going to die!” Seto suddenly yells, glaring at everyone.
The others are silent for a moment.
“Seto, Japan is an island.” Mokuba speaks up.
This time it’s Seto who is silent as he thinks about this. “Well, damn.” He mutters. “Alright then. Sure.” Then he goes right back to his singing and petting Joey’s head.
Another half hour passes and Nixx somehow catches sight of a Wal-Mart sign in the distance.
“PULL OVER!”
Bakura slams on the brakes, startled by Nixx’s sudden yell. “What the hell are you on, Lexus!” He screams back, once they’ve pulled off the road and into a ditch.
“But it’s Wal-Mart!” Nixx exclaims. “Mokie-love promised to let me go to Wal-Mart if we came across one! He promised to buy me all the pink things I want!”
“I love Wal-Mart!” Seto suddenly announces, making everyone jump. He’s been relatively quiet for the past half hour. “I want to go to Wal-Mart too!”
Bakura turns around to stare at the CEO, cursing Mariku for putting sugar in the coffee. It reminds him of the time when the blonde yami put a bunch of packets in Ryou and Malik’s tea and then made them sugar cookies. Miraculously, he managed not to burn the house down, although the stove did get sent to the Shadow Realm.
“Fine we’ll go to the fucking Wal-Mart.” Bakura growls, turning back around. “Wheeler! Keep your idiot under control! Nixx, sit the fuck down!”
“He’s not my idiot!” Joey shouts back. “In fact, he’s not my anything!”
Bakura rolls his eyes and slams on the gas to get back on the road. “Sure. You say that now, but what will you be saying later I wonder.”
And so they head to Wal-Mart, where they can wreak even more havoc than usual. And it’s not just any Wal-Mart; it’s a Super Wal-Mart.
Along the way, Bakura entertains himself by scaring the pedestrians, flipping off people, and cackling maniacally as he plows through a stop sign.
Once Bakura parks, somehow managing to take up four parking spaces, everyone jumps out and practically runs into Wal-Mart. Well, Joey is dragged by Seto and Malik is dragged by Mariku and Yugi is dragged by Yami and Ryou is dragged by Bakura, but everyone else runs in to escape the seagulls flying overhead. The reason for the abnormal fear of the birds? Well, somehow they got into discussing ‘The Birds’ and so the yami’s now have a fear of all birds. And Seto’s just excited and high on sugar, so that’s his excuse.
Once inside, Bakura and Ryou head off to the crafts section because Ryou wants to look for some clay and Bakura just wants to cause havoc and chaos; Mariku drags Malik to the sports section because he wants to unleash an army of balls upon the store; Joey and Seto go to the food section; Serenity, Duke, Yami, and Yugi go to the electronic department; and Nixx and Mokuba go to the toy section to start their hunt for pink things.
“Hey Nixx, look what I found!” Mokuba yells to his boyfriend, holding up a pink kitten. “Isn’t it cute?”
Nixx squeals and zooms over to Mokuba, taking the plushie and hugging it tightly. “Oh Mokie! I love it! It’s so cute! It’s just adorable! I shall name it…” He pauses dramatically. “Pinky!”
Mokuba sweat drops.
And then, a little girl walks down the isle and sees Nixx holding the kitty. Deciding that she wants it and figuring that no boy wants a pink stuffed animal, she walks over and tugs on Nixx’s pants.
“‘scuse me mister, can I see the kitty please?” She asks cutely.
Mokuba gives Nixx a warning look that clearly says, “Behave or else.”.
Nixx pouts and then hands the kitty to the little girl, who smiles and takes it and starts walking off. He panics. “Hey! Where are you going with that! You just said you wanted to see it!”
The little girl stops and hugs the kitty tightly. “I’m going to get her. Mommy promised to let me pick out what toy I wanted, and I want this kitty.”
Nixx growls, storms over, and snatches the kitty from the little girl. “Well that’s too bad, ‘cause he’s MINE! My Mokie picked him out special for me, and that makes him mine! So go find some other toy!”
The little girl starts crying, and Nixx runs off and grabs Mokuba so that they get away before the little girl’s mother arrives. Nixx has had enough experience in the past with the mothers of little girls who he’s taken pink toys from because he had them first. You’d think he’d have learned by now not to let the girls see the toy.
“I can’t believe you did that!” Mokuba exclaims. “That was mean, Nixx! You made the little girl cry! You should have just let her have the kitty!”
Nixx tugs Mokuba back to a wall where nobody else is at and pins the smaller boy against it. “But you picked it out thinking of me and that makes it special.” He says. “And now… I want to thank you.”
“In Wal-Mart!” Mokuba hisses. “Can’t it wait until- Mmph!”
In true Nixx fashion, Nixx has chosen his favorite method of making his boyfriend be quiet and has kissed him. Mokuba gives in to his boyfriend, kissing him back and wrapping his arms around his neck.
But all good things must come to an end eventually and this time it’s because of Seto and Joey.
“Kaiba! I am not going to wear the damn collar!” Joey yells, running from the blue-eyed CEO. He runs past Nixx and Mokuba, paying them no mind.
Seto chases after Joey, running past Nixx and Mokuba as well, holding a blue collar in his hands. Instead of continuing on and ignoring them, he stops to see what they’re doing. And it’s then that his sugar-induced high wears off. “LEXUS! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BROTHER! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT IN A PUBLIC PLACE!”
0-0-0-0-0
So after the Wal-Mart fiasco we somehow manage to get back into the van without anyone killing anyone. And Seto’s driving now, so things aren’t as tense as before. Maybe now we’ll actually make it to the mall.
Since Seto’s driving, the seating arrangements have changed once again. Now Joey’s back up front with Seto and Nixx, Serenity, and Duke are behind them; Malik, Yugi, Mokuba, and I are in the very back seats; and Yami, Mariku, and Bakura are back with the luggage.
I think I see the mall. If it’s the really tall building with all the windows. Nixx seems to be excited about seeing it, so I’m assuming that that’s the mall. And since it’s late and the mall closes soon, we’re going to have to head to a hotel already and go there tomorrow. I’m not sure whether I’m looking forward to going to the mall or not. We’ve already destroyed three other stores- the gas station, the Burger King, and the Wal-Mart and malls generally have more things.
I hope we all survive the night… Bakura doesn’t look too happy about being forced to sit with the luggage again.
~R. Bakura
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Where In The World Is Tristan Taylor? (a few paragraphs for Tristan. Just because.)
Tristan yawns and looks around, expecting to see Duke laying in the bed opposite of him. To his surprise, he's not in a hotel room at all, but laying on a tree branch. He screams and falls from the branch, landing heavily on the ground.
After a minute or so of laying there he sits up and looks around, hoping that it's all just a horrible dream and he's really not lost out in the middle of a forest. And by the looks of the position of the sun it's around noon which means the others are gone; they forgot about him.
"Damn them." Tristan mutters. "I bet Devlin is behind this! Although he's not this clever. He probably would have locked me in a closet or something stupid." He rolls his eyes. "Oh well, at least now I won't die by falling out a window. I just know Devlin pushed me. Or maybe it was Lexus. He was the one who made me roll down my window. And then he started kissing Mokuba when he knew Kaiba would freak out and either slam on the breaks or swerve!" He pauses in the middle of his ranting, a thought crossing his mind. "Man, I'm glad I'm not in that car anymore."
-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A- T-?--O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-
(1) 'tis the return of the green hair dye! I couldn't resist. I really couldn't.
0-0-0-0
Character thoughts:
Seto: Must resist the urge to kill Lexus... must resist the urge to kill Lexus... must resist the urge to kiss Wheeler- WHAT THE HELL!!!
Mokuba: I wonder if Seto actually bought that collar for Joey...
Joey: I can't believe he tried to make me wear a collar in Wal-Mart. I never want to see Kaiba hyper again. Never.
Yugi: Yami doesn't look so good.
Yami: (swears Bakura gave him a concussion when he slammed a suitcase onto his head)
Nixx: And tonight I shall sleep with Mokuba! (pauses) Now that thought I like...
Duke: I hope I get a room to myself this time. Or maybe one with sweet Serenity. No, Joey would kill me. I don't want to die yet.
Serenity: I hope Tristan is okay....
Bakura: (plotting the death of the squirrels)
Ryou: Killer... squirrels?
Malik: Damn... now I wish I had gotten those fireworks at Wal-Mart before the others went and got us kicked out for making out in the isles.
Mariku: (humming a random song)
0-0-0-0
Shiro: Hello everyone! Sorry for the month-long wait! I really am sorry. School restarted and I had a small case of writers block. And I really haven't had all that much time on the computer.
Bast: And you got distracted by the Kingdom Hearts fanfictions. (smirks) Or was that not a good excuse.
Shiro: T.T Shut up.
Bast: Wrap it up here so you can finish that Chaos story and then you can work on this one more. That way the only story you'll have to work on is Family Bonds and whatever Kingdom Hearts fic you've started. Not to mention your vampire story.
Shiro: (ignoring Bast) I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! And again, I'm sorry for taking so long to get it out. I'll try to get the next one out in less than a month. Preferably in less than half a month. (sighs) We'll see how it goes...