Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Missing ❯ Missing - 6 ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm simply obsessed with it. Don't sue me, because I'm broke. /end boring legal junk

I apparently write Yu-Gi-Oh fic now. It's my newest obsession/weakness/whatever you may call it. I swear I'm 12. I think I lost 8 years in there somewhere. That's what I get from watching anime. This story was written for my best friend, who challenged me to write her a fic using certain people and a certain plot and well. Blame her.

Yami and Malik and Ryou and Marik and Joey and Kaiba? Where will the crack end? And yeah, I got Kris' permission this time to use our conversation in this fic, although I don't think her sister will ever forgive me if she reads this!

*****

Missing - Chapter 6

After Yami and Marik sent their respective monsters back to the Shadow Realm, and after Ryou and Malik had a good screaming fit at the spirits, the four of them settled in for a rest. Marik returned upstairs while Yami collapsed on the floor in front of the television.

"Ow," he said after falling rather ungracefully in a heap.

"Then don't do it," Ryou said reasonably, stretching out on the couch. Malik wandered upstairs, presumably to find his yami. Snuggling happily down into the comfortable leather of the couch, Ryou dozed off.

***

Frodo Bakura (**well, that doesn't sound right,** Ryou thought) looked down at the creature before him. "Yugi Gollum," the white-haired hobbit said, "you must lead us on this quest."

Ryou was confused. Yugi Gollum? And Frodo Bakura? What about this dream didn't seem right?

"What quest is that, Master?" Yugi Gollum asked.

(**Yugi, calling my other half "Master"? Yeah, like that will ever happen!**)

"We must destroy THIS!" Frodo Bakura held up an object.

**Wait!** Ryou's mind screamed, **that looks like…"

"What IS that, Master?"

"It is the One Chicken! Also known as Yami."

Ryou cracked up. **The One Chicken? O-kay… no more movies before sleeping.**

"You need people of intelligence on this mission… quest… THING!" a voice called. "We're coming, too!"

"Yeah me and my Rod!"

**Malik Brandybuck and Marik Took,** Ryou sighed. **What is going ON?**

"We must destroy the One Chicken by casting it into the waters of the Washing Machine, thereby destroying the power of Sauron Magician!"

Gasps greeted his words. "Sauron Magician…"

"I've heard stories about him," Marik Took said, voice quivering. "They say he's scary!"

"Scarier than anything you've ever seen," Frodo Bakura told him.

**I've seen Bakura first thing in the morning,** Ryou thought to himself, **nothing is scarier than THAT.**

"But how will we get to the Washing Machine?" Malik Brandybuck asked.

"We'll have to take the long road through… the living room! It's said that a creature named Ryou lives there."

**Hey, how'd I end up in this dream?**

"But… I do not wish to take that path," protested Yugi Gollum. Yami-Chicken tugged on the leash currently being held by Frodo Bakura, as if agreeing with Yugi Gollum.

"Stop pulling my chain," Frodo Bakura said to Yami-Chicken. Yami-Chicken pouted. "And stop pouting. I'm not giving you back to Sauron Magician. You're mine now!"

"My precious…" Yugi Gollum hissed to himself. "We shall feed wicked Frodo Bakura to the Orcses, yes…. They know what to do with wicked people! They taught us long ago, yes they did, precious…"

"Come, Yugi Gollum. You must lead us." Frodo Bakura pointed down the path, which suddenly turned into the hallway leading from the kitchen to the living room. Yugi Gollum began leading the small company into the darkness, although Marik Took kept stopping every few feet to look in his pants, checking to see if he had a Rod.

"Stop it or I will remove your Rod myself," Frodo Bakura threatened finally, dragging Marik Took up to walk beside him. Marik Took pouted, but followed behind, ignoring the snickering of Malik Brandybuck behind him.

The Washing Machine came in sight after what felt like the longest walk down a single hallway in history, but their way was blocked by…

"Sauron Magician!" Frodo Bakura shouted.

**Oh my GOD…**

"Step away from the Washing Machine" Two figures appeared from behind Sauron Magician, both clad in floor-length tutus, tap shoes clicking on the floor.

"We are the Orc protectors of the Washing Machine and it's master, Sauron Magician!" said one, who looked suspiciously like Seto Kaiba.

**The tutu-clad Sauron Magician,** Ryou thought wryly. **I will never be able to watch Yugi or Yami duel again!**

"You can come no further!" shouted the other 'Orc', who resembled Joey more than a little bit. "We will stop you from completing this quest!"

"In your dreams!" shouted Frodo Bakura, taking his eyes of Yugi Gollum for a brief second to glare at the 'Orcs'.

"My precious!" Yugi Gollum screeched, taking advantage of the distraction and flinging himself at Frodo Bakura who went down in a heap, still clutching the leash of Yami-Chicken.

"GET OFF!" Frodo Bakura shouted, fighting Yugi Gollum for possession of Yami-Chicken's leash. Sauron Magician wandered away from the scene, black tap shoes making pretty sounds as he walked. Joey and Kaiba Orcs followed their master, shoes making the same sounds.

**I will never be able to look at them again... Tap dancing Orcs and Dark Magicians!**

Frodo Bakura freed himself from the pile of arms and legs that was Yugi Gollum and stood up. "Now, I will destroy it!" .

"No!!" Five voices screamed as Frodo Bakura walked determinedly towards the Washing Machine tugging Yami-Chicken after him, said chicken trying his best to get loose from the leash and return to the side of Yugi Gollum, who was now sobbing into Malik Brandybuck's leg, who had a hold of Marik Took's hand, whose other hand was currently investigating his… Rod.

"I DO HAVE A ROD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*****

The doorbell rang, waking Ryou. "That was one fucked-up dream," he muttered to himself. Glancing around, he noticed that it was far too quiet in his house since Yami was nowhere to be seen, although the faint sounds of something were coming from upstairs… well, Ryou didn't even want to think about *that*. He was just going to let Malik and Marik do their thing.

The doorbell rang again and he sighed, dragging himself off the warm, comfy couch to answer the door. He then proceeded to scream when he saw who stood on the other side.

"Told you that you should have stayed in the car," Kaiba said to Joey, raising an eyebrow at the now rather ruffled Ryou.

"No, no," Ryou half-gasped. "Seto, *please* tell me that you and Joey haven't taken up tap-dancing in pink tutus."

"What…"

"The…"

Ryou ignored them, continuing, "and you are never, EVER allowed to own a chicken."

Long pause. "Or a washing machine."