Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Plan ❯ He wants HOW much in damages?! ( Chapter 3 )

Silver: Okay, to the media miner people who are reading this I have one question, WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU REVIEW? The visits count says that over 40 people have looked at this thing, can't one of you review? Please, I'd like to know what people think about this. Now, to the people on fanfiction (ie: Blair) thanks for the reviews!

Tiger: Silver would like to take this moment to remind Tory to STOP using reviews to advertise her story, and to do this…

Silver: ~kidnaps Zach~ what? He's cute and fuzzy!

Zach: HEY! I'm not fuzzy!

Silver: Yes you are. Now shut up so I can rant!

~silence~

Silver: So here's the not so great excuse: School completely zaps me of creativity. Yep, that's the reason. I lasted until about October, then after a birthday pic for a friend of mine was finished, I lost all creative thought. So, now it's mid-June and after 3 weeks out of school the creativity is back (with some help from Blairhopelia).

Tiger: Yep, that's one long crappy excuse.

Silver: Watch it you! ~whaps Tiger with a big metal pole~

Tiger: OW!

Silver: anyways… this thing has gotten way too long for my standards so… on with the disclaimer!

…

…

Silver: I said ON WITH THE DISCLAIMER!

Disclaimer:

Tiger: ~drags a sign twice her size out of the closet, and holds it up~

Sign: I own Yu-gi-oh! Yes, you read right I own it!

~lawyers rush in from all sides and drag Silver off to court~

Silver: It lies! I swear the sign lies! I don't own Yu-gi-oh! Really I don't! You have to believe me!

Lawyer: Sure, that's what they all say. Now lets go ~drags Silver out of the fic~

Tiger: Muahahahaha! Ha! The story is mine now all mine!

Lawyer #2: You too incriminating sign holding accomplice! ~drags Tiger out~

Zach: Now I can make my escape! ~runs away~

Silver: ~walks out from behind the door carrying a book titled 'voice throwing for dummies'~ HA! I knew that life-sized dummy would come in handy one of these days. That will teach Tiger for mocking me! Now, on with the ficcy!

The Plan: Ch.3 (In which Bakura gets a job, or at least ~tries~ to)

"F is for friends who do stuff together!"

'What the heck is that?' Bakura thought to himself, slowly waking up, 'It doesn't sound like Tea.'

"U is for you and me!"

'God I wish it'd stop,' he continued his inner monologue, pausing for only a moment to wonder why he felt like he had been attacked by a pack of demented poodles.

"N is for anywhere or anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!"

'Okay, now the dude's a nympho so I'm just gonna ignore it and go to sleep.' Bakura succeeded in doing just that until…

"F is for fire that burns down the whole town!"

'Hey that sounds kinda fun,' his ears perked up although he still hadn't deemed it worthy enough of a cause to get up.

"U is for Uranium…bombs!"

'Hmmm… never thought of using one of those before.'

"N is for no survivors when I…Plankton that's not how it goes!"

"It sounded pretty damn right to me!" Bakura snapped out loud, slightly pissed off at not knowing what this 'Plankton' person was going to do. After all, he did appear to have some pretty good ideas…

"AHA!" The loud yell startled Bakura strait off the couch, which was where he had been sleeping, and onto the floor. "Trying to fake me out, eh? Thought that by pretending to sleep you'd get out of punishment did you? Well let me tell you, just because you just fell on you ass does not mean that you are going to get away with this one! You bloody well won't be escaping ~this~ time!"

"Wha?" Bakura's sleep addled brain tried to comprehend what had just happened, " What are you going on about Ryou, why was I on the couch, and while we're here, why does everything hurt?"

"You're not gonna fool me by pretending you don't remember! You and your dumbass boyfriend talked my dumbass boyfriend into going on another one of your stupid 'missions', caused lord only knows how much damage to, of all people, Seto Kaiba's mansion, and most importantly deprived me of my cuddle time with Malik! And you say you can't remember! Well I will have no more of it! You will not go getting ~my~ Malik into trouble like that anymore! You could have been thrown in jail! How would I have explained ~that~ to my father, huh? HUH?!" Ryou paused in his rampage to catch his breath, and Bakura jumped at the opening.

"Ryou," he started, his voice eerily calm, as he slowly stood up and sat himself and the fuming Ryou down on the couch, "Hikari, listen to me for a minute, I have no idea why you think what I did last night was anymore wrong or illegal that anything else I've done, but it wasn't. Think about it for a minute, no one got hurt, nothing was stolen, nothing was broken, and I am certainly ~not~ the one you need to blame for getting Malik to go with us. If you want to blame someone for that, you might want to try his yami; it was all Marik's idea in the first place." Bakura held his breath, hoping that his gullible hikari had fallen for his excuses, yet again.

"What do you mean NOTHING was stolen!? What about Kaiba's sheep? You were going to steal those for god only knows what! And I'm sure that you damaged a fence somewhere, and what about his guards!? Kaiba said his guard was out cold when he went to find out how you got in! Don't you tell me that you didn't do anything! Of course it's worse than anything else you've ever done. This is Seto Kaiba we're talking about here. We'll be lucky if he doesn't sue! Why I oughta…" Ryou's explosive rant was interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Bakura rushed out of the room and flung open the door dramatically. "How may I help you sir?" He pulled an almost flawless Ryou impression.

"I am here to deliver a notice to a one, Yami Bakura. Is he here?" The man at the door replied.

"I'm Yami Bakura, what's it to you?" Bakura felt like being an ass this morning, much like every morning.

The man was not impressed. He silently handed Bakura his letter, said "I would advise you not to ignore that." And walked out to his car in an 'I-have-a-stick-up-my-ass' manner.

"That was weird," Bakura thought out loud as he opened the letter. He looked down at it and panicked. He was in the middle of shoving the letter into his pocket when Ryou walked over.

"What is that?" Ryou asked, obviously still pissed off.

"What is what hikari-chan?" Bakura whistled innocently, mot noticing that the letter was poking out of the back of his pants.

"Don't you Hikari-chan me! You're hiding something; I can see papers hanging out of your pants." Ryou started suspiciously, "That was a bill collector wasn't it? Don't lie, I'll bet that those Gucci shoes that you got in the mail last week weren't a gift, and that's the bill. Let me see it!" Ryou grabbed the papers out of Bakura's pocket. He looked it over silently for a minute, steadily turning redder and redder as his eyes traveled further down the sheet. "BAKURA!" He screamed in a very un-Ryou like manner.

In reaction, Bakura, in much the same way that a character in a horror movie runs further into the house, Bakura looked frantically between the front door and the stairs, and bolted for the stairs. He was in his room faster than Ryou could react, barricaded the door, and was trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get out of the house ~now~ when Ryou started banging on the door.

"You ~BANG~ lousy ~BANG~ good for nothing ~BANG~ open ~BANG~ this ~BANG~ door ~BANG~ before I do it for you! ~BANG~" Ryou was, quite obviously very pissed.

"No way I'm opening that door, you'll kill me!" Bakura yelled from across the room where he was huddled in the corner. Another loud thump at the door, and the hinges began to crack away from the wall. (a/n wow, who would've thought Ryou had it in him) Bakura almost peed his pants. "Okay, okay. I'll let you in, but you have to promise not to hurt me."

The pounding on the door stopped, and there was a considering pause, then, "Sure, I won't hurt you…" The voice had an edge to it that said otherwise. Bakura, the poor sap, didn't notice this. He opened the door.

Bakura didn't know what hit him, one minute he was opening the door, and the next he was being pushed into a wall by a very red, and very angry Ryou. "How could you? HOW? EXPLAIN YOURSELF! 'I didn't do anything' SUURE, WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS FROM HUH!" Ryou exploded, "Well let me tell you what you freeloading bastard, you aren't getting out of this one. I've paid for your screw ups for too long, you're getting a job. NOW!" He let go of Bakura and walked to the door quite calmly, upon reaching the door he turned and said nicely, "You have two weeks before Kaiba wants that money, and breakfast will be ready in ten minutes, hurry up and get dressed before it gets cold."

Bakura blinked at the hikari's retreating back. He stood frozen against the wall for a few minutes trying to process what had just happened, came to the conclusion that the boy had forgotten his medication and probably hadn't meant what he just said. Having decided that he probably wouldn't ~really~ have to get a job, he changed into some clean clothes (a/n: remember he's still in the clothes the dogs attacked him in), and headed down to breakfast.

When he got downstairs, Bakura was puzzled to find that his breakfast appeared to be some sort of gray paper with writing all over it. "Umm…how am I supposed to eat this?" he questioned, carefully prodding the paper with a fork.

"That's not breakfast, that is the classified section of the newspaper. Read it. Find a job, and call the number." Ryou explained, calmly placing a piece of toast on the table, "That is breakfast." He pointed to the toast.

"Ryou, you can't be serious, you really expect me to get a job. You know I can't get a job. I'd love to, but I'm…umm… allergic…yes, that's it…I'm allergic to work," Bakura said smugly, thinking he had wormed his way out of it. He turned in his chair to find Ryou glaring down at him, nostrils flared, holding a butter knife menacingly. He gulped, "On second thought, a little work never hurt anybody."

Silver: And so the chaos begins. Thanks to all that reviewed!

Next Chapter: The search for a job. I know where he's gonna end up, but if anyone has any ideas on things he could fail at, let me know.

Tiger: Read and Review, and that means you person who reads things and doesn't review them. However, flame and you die. Have a nice day!