Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Transcending Memories: A Bond Unsealed ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: yamigirl21 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.14.2003 | Updated On: 04.01.2015 | Pages: 8 | Words: 5.5K | Visits: 1.0K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.14.2003 | Updated On: 04.01.2015 | Pages: 8 | Words: 5.5K | Visits: 1.0K | Status: Work In Progress
Author’s Note (March 2015):
Hello again, everyone! How are you? I hope that you’re doing
well! It’s been QUITE a while, hasn‘t it? I truly and
*sincerely* apologize for that... I honestly hadn't intended to be
away for so long, but it would appear that instances in my life
would quite often get in the way, as well as issues with my health
especially, and of course other projects that I'm working on as
well. It's because of my health, actually, that I'm now able
to concentrate on this work to some degree. In a nutshell, I am
currently recovering from a rather major surgical procedure! Given
the severity of it (though I should be fine, I'm happy to say!) the
healing process requires me to be a bit limited in my mobility,
while also having plenty of best rest for the next several days!
Though, truth be told, I was finding that to be a bit aggravating
however, since I'm so used to always being on the run, so I at
least wanted to make an effort to utilize my time productively; and
see where my writing would take me this time! I hope against hope
that that can lead to the completion of this story, after such a
long long time, but I suppose only tell will tell!
And yet, I truly am attempting to give this work the very best that I am able to; pouring both my heart and soul into its creation, while also adding more depth , insight and substance to the events of my previous chapters. As I had stated beforehand, many of the later events of this story will remain intact, however, I feel that these additions will prove useful, maybe even essential for when I do venture into new territory; which I of course also plan to do in the future! As a result, this chapter 5 is also entirely “new” in terms of story elements; these scenes having been completely absent in the original version of chapter 4, 5, or beyond! When I am able to return to the later parts of my previous unedited work (in order to integrate them with these newer installments of prior chapters) I will most likely be into the later teens rather than only having 11 chapters, as I did before! However given that I put much more effort into my later chapters, even years ago, it is my hope that those works will require much less editing, re-writing, and lengthening as these earlier ones have; which in theory, will FINALLY allow me to move forward with the story itself! We'll see indeed, won't we? Once more, I urge you NOT to read beyond this chapter until a current, “Author’s Note” much like this one, (dated 2010 or beyond) is added to the subsequent chapter 6. Again, I offer my sincerest and most heartfelt expressions of gratitude for your time, patience and continued interest in my writing, especially given the *extremely* long delays in updating! It truly does mean the world to me….
Chapter 5
*What foolishness… Complete and utter recklessness! Such actions only serve to remind me of my inexperience, my lack of…control… * Yami reflected, as that final word resonated endlessly within his mind. *What’s the matter with me? Why would I- How could I have possibly allowed myself to- I’m ashamed of myself... I abused my abilities, desecrated the very teachings that were entrusted to me. The priests, Simon…my father... They would all be displeased, outraged with what I have done, with what I very well could have done to those women!*
Making only the slightest of movements, Yami felt disoriented, forcing him to reach quickly for the edge of the table! He then raised a hand to his forehead, to coax away the waves of dizziness passing over him. His breathing was shallow, but even; and he cursed inwardly in response!
In the midst of his guilt, he dimly acknowledged that even the perfectionist in him was affronted! Though he chided himself for allowing such a trivial thought to cross his mind, one that he himself considered to be inappropriate, it was damaging to his ego that channeling such energies could still have such a virulent effect on him! For Yami knew all too well, by the mock battles or even when witnessing a true duel among the elders, that complete mastery would have eliminated such a physical response long ago. That is, unless the pain inflicted on another or even to oneself was deliberate... Releasing a deep, exasperated sigh, he felt the hand upon the table clench into a fist, as he sought to regain his composure.
Yami recalled how innocent he had originally meant this excursion to be. His only wish had been to know more about Teana, the spirited young woman who had made such a lasting impression upon him. He was pleased, not only by the sight of her, but her charmingly flustered response, when he had teased her gently. All he had wanted was to aid Teana, despite her reservations.
What Yami hadn’t anticipated was the arrival of that particular trio of women, how deeply they would affect Teana, or what they would somehow provoke in him as well. Though Yami had been preoccupied when they first approached, preventing him from hearing what had transpired, he witnessed the majority of the scene from the corner of his eye; most notably how Teana’s entire body had tensed….
She had looked terrified, threatened even! In stark contrast to those intolerable women, with their scornful gestures and haughty laughter, Teana possessed a disquieting stillness, mixed with a gradual loss of color. The unwarranted maliciousness angered Yami; more than he imagined possible! The level in which it took hold of him was staggering, as if the feeling had been amplified a thousand fold. The potency of those searing, negative emotions overflowed, pulsated through him; until he was all but compelled to take action!
After that… What came next was… He knew that he had some choice words for those women, but when they refused to leave of their own accord, when they had dared to challenge his words, he recalled wanting nothing more than to teach them…the error of their ways.
The events that followed were distressingly disjointed: the darkening atmosphere, the women’s frightened expressions, and the sudden change in him as well. It was as if he was observing it from a distance, watching with a detached skepticism. A part of him had felt….justified in wanting to admonish those three, a practice that he was now implementing regularly… Yet he had never intended to follow through with those impulses.
But this vengeful, emerging force had found far too much pleasure in their torment, in that seductive manipulation of such power, to be hindered so easily…. This part of him that had taken such delight in granting his deep seeded desire had been calculating, cold, but not foolish….
Even in the midst of the resulting chaos, a barrier of dark energy had been called forth, effectively cloaking these actions from the general public and from Teana... Yami felt a wave of tremendous relief wash over him that these preventive measures had been put into place, at the very least. Opting to ignore the multitude of questions that continued to arise, the only logical conclusion left to him, was to return the palace……
*He hasn‘t said a word…. He’s so distant, like he isn‘t even here anymore…. What should do?* Teana said to herself.
For what had seemed like an eternity, Teana sat both quietly and patiently; anticipating a reaction from Yami of any kind! She felt an overwhelming desire to put an end to the awkward silence. She repeatedly opened her mouth to speak, but somehow…she was unable to bring herself to ignore her lingering hesitation; the uneasiness that she felt as she waited.
Suddenly, Yami had begun to stagger and she had moved forward immediately…only to waver; stopping abruptly before reaching him. *Why did I- ?* Teana mused, mystified. *He needs help! I can’t just- Am I….afraid?*
Moments later, Yami had managed to regain his sense of balance, his air of composure. And though he appeared visibly troubled by what afflicted him, from a physical stand point, he seemed to recover from his fleeting lapse. *He’s all right...* Teana thought, placing her outstretched hand gently upon her chest. It was then that she realized that feeling of relief, her dissipating fear for Yami’s well-being, had taken precedence; even more so than her gnawing uncertainties…
Staring both pensively and despondently out into the distance, Yami had then closed his eyes; sighing heavily. As his fists clenched tightly at his sides, Teana wondered if he was, perhaps, preparing himself; for what for what he wished to say next maybe?
“It appears as if I am no longer needed here.” He said, at length.
“What…? No longer needed?” Teana echoed, as her head turned; her eyes shooting upward to face him.
“I will not be responsible for another incident…like the one of three days past. I truly believe that it would be to our mutual benefit if I returned home, immediately.” Yami continued, with an almost impassive tonality. “And so…I bid you farewell, Teana….”
As he stepped forward to take his leave, Teana caught Yami's fleeting, yet remorseful expression; one that she feared may have even conveyed a look of finality….
“No! Please don’t go!” Teana exclaimed, quickly clasping his hand.
She was fleetingly surprised by her outburst, as well as her readiness to make contact with him after her previous hesitation. But she had been seized with a very distinct possibility, that if Yami had departed in such a manner, that it very well could be the last time that she would see him! In spite of all that had happened, what she did or didn’t comprehend, she knew that what she felt, what she had always felt when she thought of him remained constant… Now, more than ever, she needed to rely on that belief; that sustaining conviction…. “I- I haven’t even thanked you for- I mean-” Teana stammered.
Seeing that her own hands had begun to quiver, she slowly and gently tugged him nearer, until his hand was positioned directly in front of her. Redirecting her head downward, towards it, she was now close enough to that hand that the longest of her tresses could nearly brush against it. Shutting her eyes as she swallowed nervously, she silently hoped, she prayed that she could say all that she wished to, that she could somehow change the outcome that she dreaded; more than any other.
“You have to know…” Teana began again, now placing both hands upon his. *There’s so much…so much that you need to know, Yami….* Teana thought to herself. *But for now-*
“What you did for me today,” she said softly. “I can’t even tell you, I can’t even find the words to express how much it meant to me…. You wanted to help me, you did help me, and you didn’t have to.” Teana continued, her voice trembling. “It was hard for me to even believe. The one thought that kept coming to me was, is this really happening? Because things like this don‘t happen, not to me. For a long time now, everyday, whether it was here at the market or…well, anywhere else really, I’ve been watching, always watching, as others depended on each other, while I only had myself to depend on. And I thought, that was the way it would always be. This was my life. Whatever dreams or aspirations I had, or even still have…. I thought this, this part of my life, having to take care of myself, would never change. I couldn’t even imagine anything else, even in the best of circumstances. But it wasn’t like that today…was it? In a single afternoon, I got to know what it was like to have someone that I could rely on again; in something so simple…with you just being here with me. Do you remember what I said before? When you first arrived? It was true... I really was happy to see you… and I still feel that way… Aside of all of the great things that you did, all that you were able to accomplish, it was you, you coming here today that mattered most to me. You came for me….”
*That’s right… It was just like before…. All of his efforts were for my sake. Everything he did, everything that he‘s ever done….was for me.*
“I’m sorry… I really am. I know that all of this must sound foolish, but-” Slowly opening her eyes, Teana was startled to see that her vision was now a blur, that at some point, tears had formed; streaming silently. As she looked down, she released a slight gasp, noticing that those tears had fallen not only on her own hands, but Yami’s hand within hers as well! Quickly she released him, to cover her cheeks. She could feel the dampness that had been trailing; the increasing temperature upon them that had begun to emerge. *Oh gods, no! No!* Teana cried inwardly, burying her face in her hands. *I can’t believe that I- That he saw me- I’m so embarrassed!* She chided herself. *This is just like- No, this is even worse than last time! How could you…? How could you let yourself? I really am a fool, aren‘t I?* Teana contemplated, feeling herself sinking, resisting a legitimate urge to weep. *And I’m sure of it now… He’s going to leave. He’ll just walk away, and he‘ll do it seeing me as some weak, overly sentimental-*
As if time had flowed backward, to the events of earlier that day, Teana’s reflections were interrupted when she felt the touch of Yami’s hand; placed lightly upon her head once more. Taken off guard by this action, as a faint sense of uncertainty resurfaced, Teana chose to dismiss it; allowing herself to be soothed by those tender, rhythmic strokes instead. Warily removing her hands from her face, Teana watched as his hand slowly traveled downward, first to reposition the damp, matted strands that rested near her cheeks, before using his thumb to carefully wipe the moisture that remained on her face. With Yami’s hand lingering in that position, as Teana basked in the feel of his skin against hers; she now fought, the urge to rest her own hand atop of his.
*There… There he is. He’s come back. This is the real him. I know it is! I know it is….* “She thought, focusing solely on the moment.
Before Teana could allow herself to give in to her impulse, Yami lowered his hand again, this time to lift her chin upward to face him.
“Thank you, Teana…” Yami said softly, his expression now returning to the one of warmth and reassurance.
“Thank you? For what…?” Teana replied, in an equally hushed tone.
“I thank you, for your honesty. It has been…” Yami considered, as he withdrew his hold on her. “I- I can not even recall how many years have passed since I have encountered such sincerity; such a genuine show of emotion…. I would often wonder, if I would ever see such a sight again….” Yami trailed, his gaze shifting downward. “Life in the pa- rather, where I am from,” he corrected, as he briefly glanced from left to right, “can be quite bereft of what would often be referred to as “troublesome” sentimentality. It seems like a distant memory now, as if it were from another lifetime entirely, but once, I too would have expressed myself openly, as you have done. That much simpler time, when I would not have hesitated to voice any of my thoughts or feelings, to the ones I believed would acknowledge them. I soon learned that such conduct was thought to be unbecoming for one of my position, for the “living representation of the gods,” as they would often say.” Yami continued, his voice barely above a whisper.
*The living representation of the gods….* Teana repeated, inwardly. *I know that’s what everyone believes but- What happened today… Could I have imagined it? Or…is he really- *
“That ridiculous notion, all of it!” Yami remarked, almost as if he had responded to Teana’s thoghts. “If it was not perceived as an affront to the gods themselves, I would be the first to eradicate such long held beliefs, ones that only serve to segregate me from the very concept of humanity….preventing others from even attempting to regard me as an individual, in any sense of the word…” He then said, his embittered tone returning. “It would seem that both the practice and the professed “suitability” of this regime is the one thing that I am not capable of escaping with such ease. Regardless of the time, the place, or the occasion, no matter where I turn, I find that I am surrounded by nothing but a suffocating rigidness. The only variation is, perhaps, a disposition that is so painfully automatic that I find it disconcerting somehow…. Those indistinguishable expressions, the habitual discourse, all of which seems so….hollow.” Yami sighed.
“I will admit, though I found it rather difficult at the time, thatI was also quite honest, during our prior exchange.” He remarked, facing Teana again. “For as long as I can remember, it truly has been my wish to be treated like any other, to be able to speak and act freely as you have done; to feel any sort of emotion, whether it is considered appropriate in that instance or not. Having the unique privilege to simply be as you are, and most importantly, to have your true self accepted…. Perhaps such a notion truly is beyond my grasp; maybe even…rightfully so….” Yami breathed, closing his eyes momentarily.
“Yami…” Teana said, uncertain of how she should respond. And though she could acknowledge her feelings of genuine sympathy for what he had chosen to share with her, despite herself (as the potential meaning of his closing statement resonated) she soon found that those adamant reservations, coupled with that unsightly vision of him, had managed to emerge yet again, flashing briefly through her mind. *Stop…. Stop it! That didn’t happen! That…didn‘t happen…*
“But somehow…. I feel it is different when I am in your presence.” Yami smiled wistfully,allowing Teana to reciprocate both quickly andreadily. “Even then, during our first meeting, I can recall coming to a very similar conclusion.”
“Our first meeting….?” Teana blinked inquisitively,taken aback by his statement; a touch of guarded anticipation beginning to stir…
“Yes, our rather invigorating encounter, three days ago.”
“Oh…right. That‘s what you meant.” Teana replied; attemptingto hide her disappointment…..
“Regardless of those rather unusual circumstances, I was most certainly intrigued with how candid you had been, even before you had learned of my true identity.”
“So we’retalking about that again, are we?” Teana cringed, as she briefly placed a hand on her forehead.
Despite the awkwardness in having to relive the event, Teana found that she was actually thankful that Yami had opted to alter both the course and the tonality of their discussion. Fully aware that his departure was all but inevitable, she reasoned that she should persist onward with her efforts to alleviate the remaining tension. And though she could still feel herself reeling over….all that had happened, Teana continued to hope, that somehow, in some way, she would be able to encourage his return. Just…once more perhaps….?
Even if it was too much to hope for, it was that “next time” that Teana needed to believe in... Having the opportunity alone would be something; something that she could place her faith in… For in that one moment, that was all that mattered to her….
“Well, if you insist on bringing it up,” Teana began, “I can tell you that that wasn’t one of my finer moments, though I suppose that I’m just stating the obvious with that one. In the end, I was just really angry.” She elaborated. “I would even go as far as to say that I was having an off day. I don’t usually allow myself to get that upset. Actually, I can't get that upset because-”
*Oh no…. I need to careful not to talk about-* She mused inwardly, as she bit her lip, struggling to amend her statement. “I- I mean, I wouldn’t exactly call it proper, would you?” Teana rectified, with a very deliberate shrug of her shoulders. “What else can I say? There was just something about you that made me react. I didn’t really give it a lot of thought at the time, though maybe that was something I really should have done, looking back at it now.” Teana winced.
“No… Not at all. I found it refreshing. Truly. And it occurred in an instant where only moments prior, I had been contemplating a scenario very much like it; though it seemed almost impossible to me then. It’s rather curious, isn‘t it….?” Yami breathed, with a slight tilt of his head. “To think, that I would encounter someone who speak to me with such…spirit.” He then said, with the raise of an eye brow.
“Um…is that a really nice way of saying that I was just plain rude?” Teana replied, half jokingly; while also anticipating a legitimate response.
She then found herself somewhat startled by the sound of quiet laughter coming from the formerly composed young man; a reaction that was both unexpected…yet remarkably reassuring to her somehow…. *He… He‘s actually laughing…* Teana thought to herself, feeling her own expression softening. *I don’t know why but…I’m so glad….*
“Yet again,” Yami began, with a newfound lightness in his demeanor, “you manage to substantiate what I have deduced all along. That despite the length of time, you are able to freely express yourself, both openly and honestly to me. And in doing so, “in something so simple,” Yami continued, quoting from Teana’s own words, “you have begun to uncover what I once believed was lost within me as well. And I do… I do thank you for that, Teana.”
Though she felt herself blushing furiously as he spoke, prompting her to shyly avert her gaze, Teana also found herself conflicted by these remarks; for more reasons than one… Admittedly, she was quite moved by such staggering kindness, as she had been when he had spoken to her in a similar fashion, in the past…. Furthermore, the sheer foreignness of it all was nothing short of astounding, when she really thought about it; much less that it was her faraway prince, of all people, who was continuously bestowing it upon her! In spite of herself, she was unable to disregard his choice of wording; his talk of “honesty” in particular. She couldn’t help but wonder, wonder if that was really true, for either one of them. She did have a history after all, one that she simply couldn’t bring herself to share, just yet. And what about Yami? Was he hiding things from her too? Was the man that she saw before her now, really the man that she- Another useless thought! If she could only silence them! Each and every one!
“Teana?”
“Hm?” She replied quickly, fearing that she had appeared visibly lost within her own reflections. “I’m sorry… I- I wasn’t quite sure what to say…. I mean I’m flattered of course, but I really don’t know about all of that….all the things that you think that I- Oh, wait! I just remembered! Your hand…” Teana whispered, with a slight grimace.
“My hand?” Yami replied inquisitively.
“You know, when I-” She began, sighing uncomfortably. “Just a second, ok?” Reaching behind her, Teana produced a jar of clean water; water that she had brought with her that morning for the day’s work. Searching for, and ultimately finding, one of the finer pieces of linen upon the table (one that Yami himself had most likely bartered for) she then proceeded to dampen the strip of material.
“May I?” Teana asked, gesturing for the hand that she had held previously. With a slight nod, Yami slowly extended that hand, until it rested within both of Teana’s, once more.
Finding herself momentarily affected by the physical contact, even then, she soon set it aside; opting to focus on her immediate task. And so, with the greatest of care, Teana had begun to cleanse the back of Yami’s left hand; wiping away the stains of dried tears that she had shed.
In doing this, she now noticed, or rather surveyed in further detail, that his fingers were both long and slender. Though his skin was essentially soft and smooth, there was a slight roughness to it as well; presumably from the various forms of combat training that he had undertaken. Clearly there was a sense of power, a strength that could be felt in that hand, despite its use being to a lesser degree, as opposed to his right. Feeling a bit foolish for studying it in such detail, she perceived that his fingernails, which were oval in shape, had also been well kept, appearing nothing short of immaculate to her eyes.
“You have beautiful hands….”
“Do I now?”
“And I….really said that…didn‘t I?” Teana groaned, squinting her eyes in aggravation.
“Please, you mustn’t fret. And let me assure you, the compliment is greatly appreciated.” Yami said, with a confident grin. “It is this, this quality that I find most prominent in you, Teana; one that I would very much like to see again, another day.”
“Another day… You mean-”
“To my deep regret, I must now take my leave of this place, though I would like nothing more than to stay…. If I do not return soon, there may very well be another meaningless manhunt to determine my whereabouts; one that could prove quite troublesome, for the both of us. But before I go, I must tell you, that you have given me a great deal…to consider.”
Moving even closer,Teana could feel herself tensing in anticipation! With a gallant, fluid gesture, Yami then reached for her right hand, raising it gently to his lips. Shivers coursing down her spine, Teana once again found herself at a loss for words; fighting an all but overwhelming urge to release a girlish giggle! Such thoughts soon dissipated seeing the flickering sadness that reemerged when Yami faced her again.
“This time, for certain, Teana…I bid you far-”
“Don‘t...” Teana whispered. She felt her eyes widening at her boldness, prompting her to clear her throat nervously. “I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to- But please, please don’t say good bye…. I would rather you tell me, “until next time,“ or “see you again,” maybe?” I will see you again…won‘t I, Yami?” She asked uncertainly, now recalling a very similar parting, during their last encounter.
“Yes... Yes you will.” Yami replied, purposefully.
With Teana’s hand still in his, Yami lingered at her side, as he seemed unwilling to let her go… Squeezing gently, he then cupped it briefly with his left. Releasing her at last, he proceeded to straighten and secure his hood with a heavy sigh. As Yami cautiously surveyed the vicinity, in order to find both the quickest and safest route home, Teana could now see, and even feel the change in his demeanor… It was as if he had already returned to that cold, dismal place he had spoken of; one that appeared to rob him completely of his joy. Gazing down at her again, for the briefest of moments, he looked as if he had wanted to say something; something important…. As Teana anticipated those words, instead, Yami simply nodded, before ultimately continuing on his way.
As her eyes forlornly followed him, Teana couldn’t help but wonder whatis was that Yami had wished to tell her. She also questioned whether or not the young prince would, in fact, return; despite his reassurances. Catching one final glimpse, before she managed to lose sight of him, Teana noticed that he had turned to look back at her once more! Though she smiled at him from a distance, which he indeed reciprocated, it was soon replaced with an expression of fleeting, noticeable regret; one that concerned her, even after he had disappeared from view….And without his presence, Teana was left with not only a feeling of emptiness, but a multitude of assailing, haunting questions; questions that she simply couldn’t bring herself to face just yet….
*For now…* Teana mused, feeling a sudden chill pass through her. *I want- I need to hold on…just for now….
And yet, I truly am attempting to give this work the very best that I am able to; pouring both my heart and soul into its creation, while also adding more depth , insight and substance to the events of my previous chapters. As I had stated beforehand, many of the later events of this story will remain intact, however, I feel that these additions will prove useful, maybe even essential for when I do venture into new territory; which I of course also plan to do in the future! As a result, this chapter 5 is also entirely “new” in terms of story elements; these scenes having been completely absent in the original version of chapter 4, 5, or beyond! When I am able to return to the later parts of my previous unedited work (in order to integrate them with these newer installments of prior chapters) I will most likely be into the later teens rather than only having 11 chapters, as I did before! However given that I put much more effort into my later chapters, even years ago, it is my hope that those works will require much less editing, re-writing, and lengthening as these earlier ones have; which in theory, will FINALLY allow me to move forward with the story itself! We'll see indeed, won't we? Once more, I urge you NOT to read beyond this chapter until a current, “Author’s Note” much like this one, (dated 2010 or beyond) is added to the subsequent chapter 6. Again, I offer my sincerest and most heartfelt expressions of gratitude for your time, patience and continued interest in my writing, especially given the *extremely* long delays in updating! It truly does mean the world to me….
Chapter 5
*What foolishness… Complete and utter recklessness! Such actions only serve to remind me of my inexperience, my lack of…control… * Yami reflected, as that final word resonated endlessly within his mind. *What’s the matter with me? Why would I- How could I have possibly allowed myself to- I’m ashamed of myself... I abused my abilities, desecrated the very teachings that were entrusted to me. The priests, Simon…my father... They would all be displeased, outraged with what I have done, with what I very well could have done to those women!*
Making only the slightest of movements, Yami felt disoriented, forcing him to reach quickly for the edge of the table! He then raised a hand to his forehead, to coax away the waves of dizziness passing over him. His breathing was shallow, but even; and he cursed inwardly in response!
In the midst of his guilt, he dimly acknowledged that even the perfectionist in him was affronted! Though he chided himself for allowing such a trivial thought to cross his mind, one that he himself considered to be inappropriate, it was damaging to his ego that channeling such energies could still have such a virulent effect on him! For Yami knew all too well, by the mock battles or even when witnessing a true duel among the elders, that complete mastery would have eliminated such a physical response long ago. That is, unless the pain inflicted on another or even to oneself was deliberate... Releasing a deep, exasperated sigh, he felt the hand upon the table clench into a fist, as he sought to regain his composure.
Yami recalled how innocent he had originally meant this excursion to be. His only wish had been to know more about Teana, the spirited young woman who had made such a lasting impression upon him. He was pleased, not only by the sight of her, but her charmingly flustered response, when he had teased her gently. All he had wanted was to aid Teana, despite her reservations.
What Yami hadn’t anticipated was the arrival of that particular trio of women, how deeply they would affect Teana, or what they would somehow provoke in him as well. Though Yami had been preoccupied when they first approached, preventing him from hearing what had transpired, he witnessed the majority of the scene from the corner of his eye; most notably how Teana’s entire body had tensed….
She had looked terrified, threatened even! In stark contrast to those intolerable women, with their scornful gestures and haughty laughter, Teana possessed a disquieting stillness, mixed with a gradual loss of color. The unwarranted maliciousness angered Yami; more than he imagined possible! The level in which it took hold of him was staggering, as if the feeling had been amplified a thousand fold. The potency of those searing, negative emotions overflowed, pulsated through him; until he was all but compelled to take action!
After that… What came next was… He knew that he had some choice words for those women, but when they refused to leave of their own accord, when they had dared to challenge his words, he recalled wanting nothing more than to teach them…the error of their ways.
The events that followed were distressingly disjointed: the darkening atmosphere, the women’s frightened expressions, and the sudden change in him as well. It was as if he was observing it from a distance, watching with a detached skepticism. A part of him had felt….justified in wanting to admonish those three, a practice that he was now implementing regularly… Yet he had never intended to follow through with those impulses.
But this vengeful, emerging force had found far too much pleasure in their torment, in that seductive manipulation of such power, to be hindered so easily…. This part of him that had taken such delight in granting his deep seeded desire had been calculating, cold, but not foolish….
Even in the midst of the resulting chaos, a barrier of dark energy had been called forth, effectively cloaking these actions from the general public and from Teana... Yami felt a wave of tremendous relief wash over him that these preventive measures had been put into place, at the very least. Opting to ignore the multitude of questions that continued to arise, the only logical conclusion left to him, was to return the palace……
*He hasn‘t said a word…. He’s so distant, like he isn‘t even here anymore…. What should do?* Teana said to herself.
For what had seemed like an eternity, Teana sat both quietly and patiently; anticipating a reaction from Yami of any kind! She felt an overwhelming desire to put an end to the awkward silence. She repeatedly opened her mouth to speak, but somehow…she was unable to bring herself to ignore her lingering hesitation; the uneasiness that she felt as she waited.
Suddenly, Yami had begun to stagger and she had moved forward immediately…only to waver; stopping abruptly before reaching him. *Why did I- ?* Teana mused, mystified. *He needs help! I can’t just- Am I….afraid?*
Moments later, Yami had managed to regain his sense of balance, his air of composure. And though he appeared visibly troubled by what afflicted him, from a physical stand point, he seemed to recover from his fleeting lapse. *He’s all right...* Teana thought, placing her outstretched hand gently upon her chest. It was then that she realized that feeling of relief, her dissipating fear for Yami’s well-being, had taken precedence; even more so than her gnawing uncertainties…
Staring both pensively and despondently out into the distance, Yami had then closed his eyes; sighing heavily. As his fists clenched tightly at his sides, Teana wondered if he was, perhaps, preparing himself; for what for what he wished to say next maybe?
“It appears as if I am no longer needed here.” He said, at length.
“What…? No longer needed?” Teana echoed, as her head turned; her eyes shooting upward to face him.
“I will not be responsible for another incident…like the one of three days past. I truly believe that it would be to our mutual benefit if I returned home, immediately.” Yami continued, with an almost impassive tonality. “And so…I bid you farewell, Teana….”
As he stepped forward to take his leave, Teana caught Yami's fleeting, yet remorseful expression; one that she feared may have even conveyed a look of finality….
“No! Please don’t go!” Teana exclaimed, quickly clasping his hand.
She was fleetingly surprised by her outburst, as well as her readiness to make contact with him after her previous hesitation. But she had been seized with a very distinct possibility, that if Yami had departed in such a manner, that it very well could be the last time that she would see him! In spite of all that had happened, what she did or didn’t comprehend, she knew that what she felt, what she had always felt when she thought of him remained constant… Now, more than ever, she needed to rely on that belief; that sustaining conviction…. “I- I haven’t even thanked you for- I mean-” Teana stammered.
Seeing that her own hands had begun to quiver, she slowly and gently tugged him nearer, until his hand was positioned directly in front of her. Redirecting her head downward, towards it, she was now close enough to that hand that the longest of her tresses could nearly brush against it. Shutting her eyes as she swallowed nervously, she silently hoped, she prayed that she could say all that she wished to, that she could somehow change the outcome that she dreaded; more than any other.
“You have to know…” Teana began again, now placing both hands upon his. *There’s so much…so much that you need to know, Yami….* Teana thought to herself. *But for now-*
“What you did for me today,” she said softly. “I can’t even tell you, I can’t even find the words to express how much it meant to me…. You wanted to help me, you did help me, and you didn’t have to.” Teana continued, her voice trembling. “It was hard for me to even believe. The one thought that kept coming to me was, is this really happening? Because things like this don‘t happen, not to me. For a long time now, everyday, whether it was here at the market or…well, anywhere else really, I’ve been watching, always watching, as others depended on each other, while I only had myself to depend on. And I thought, that was the way it would always be. This was my life. Whatever dreams or aspirations I had, or even still have…. I thought this, this part of my life, having to take care of myself, would never change. I couldn’t even imagine anything else, even in the best of circumstances. But it wasn’t like that today…was it? In a single afternoon, I got to know what it was like to have someone that I could rely on again; in something so simple…with you just being here with me. Do you remember what I said before? When you first arrived? It was true... I really was happy to see you… and I still feel that way… Aside of all of the great things that you did, all that you were able to accomplish, it was you, you coming here today that mattered most to me. You came for me….”
*That’s right… It was just like before…. All of his efforts were for my sake. Everything he did, everything that he‘s ever done….was for me.*
“I’m sorry… I really am. I know that all of this must sound foolish, but-” Slowly opening her eyes, Teana was startled to see that her vision was now a blur, that at some point, tears had formed; streaming silently. As she looked down, she released a slight gasp, noticing that those tears had fallen not only on her own hands, but Yami’s hand within hers as well! Quickly she released him, to cover her cheeks. She could feel the dampness that had been trailing; the increasing temperature upon them that had begun to emerge. *Oh gods, no! No!* Teana cried inwardly, burying her face in her hands. *I can’t believe that I- That he saw me- I’m so embarrassed!* She chided herself. *This is just like- No, this is even worse than last time! How could you…? How could you let yourself? I really am a fool, aren‘t I?* Teana contemplated, feeling herself sinking, resisting a legitimate urge to weep. *And I’m sure of it now… He’s going to leave. He’ll just walk away, and he‘ll do it seeing me as some weak, overly sentimental-*
As if time had flowed backward, to the events of earlier that day, Teana’s reflections were interrupted when she felt the touch of Yami’s hand; placed lightly upon her head once more. Taken off guard by this action, as a faint sense of uncertainty resurfaced, Teana chose to dismiss it; allowing herself to be soothed by those tender, rhythmic strokes instead. Warily removing her hands from her face, Teana watched as his hand slowly traveled downward, first to reposition the damp, matted strands that rested near her cheeks, before using his thumb to carefully wipe the moisture that remained on her face. With Yami’s hand lingering in that position, as Teana basked in the feel of his skin against hers; she now fought, the urge to rest her own hand atop of his.
*There… There he is. He’s come back. This is the real him. I know it is! I know it is….* “She thought, focusing solely on the moment.
Before Teana could allow herself to give in to her impulse, Yami lowered his hand again, this time to lift her chin upward to face him.
“Thank you, Teana…” Yami said softly, his expression now returning to the one of warmth and reassurance.
“Thank you? For what…?” Teana replied, in an equally hushed tone.
“I thank you, for your honesty. It has been…” Yami considered, as he withdrew his hold on her. “I- I can not even recall how many years have passed since I have encountered such sincerity; such a genuine show of emotion…. I would often wonder, if I would ever see such a sight again….” Yami trailed, his gaze shifting downward. “Life in the pa- rather, where I am from,” he corrected, as he briefly glanced from left to right, “can be quite bereft of what would often be referred to as “troublesome” sentimentality. It seems like a distant memory now, as if it were from another lifetime entirely, but once, I too would have expressed myself openly, as you have done. That much simpler time, when I would not have hesitated to voice any of my thoughts or feelings, to the ones I believed would acknowledge them. I soon learned that such conduct was thought to be unbecoming for one of my position, for the “living representation of the gods,” as they would often say.” Yami continued, his voice barely above a whisper.
*The living representation of the gods….* Teana repeated, inwardly. *I know that’s what everyone believes but- What happened today… Could I have imagined it? Or…is he really- *
“That ridiculous notion, all of it!” Yami remarked, almost as if he had responded to Teana’s thoghts. “If it was not perceived as an affront to the gods themselves, I would be the first to eradicate such long held beliefs, ones that only serve to segregate me from the very concept of humanity….preventing others from even attempting to regard me as an individual, in any sense of the word…” He then said, his embittered tone returning. “It would seem that both the practice and the professed “suitability” of this regime is the one thing that I am not capable of escaping with such ease. Regardless of the time, the place, or the occasion, no matter where I turn, I find that I am surrounded by nothing but a suffocating rigidness. The only variation is, perhaps, a disposition that is so painfully automatic that I find it disconcerting somehow…. Those indistinguishable expressions, the habitual discourse, all of which seems so….hollow.” Yami sighed.
“I will admit, though I found it rather difficult at the time, thatI was also quite honest, during our prior exchange.” He remarked, facing Teana again. “For as long as I can remember, it truly has been my wish to be treated like any other, to be able to speak and act freely as you have done; to feel any sort of emotion, whether it is considered appropriate in that instance or not. Having the unique privilege to simply be as you are, and most importantly, to have your true self accepted…. Perhaps such a notion truly is beyond my grasp; maybe even…rightfully so….” Yami breathed, closing his eyes momentarily.
“Yami…” Teana said, uncertain of how she should respond. And though she could acknowledge her feelings of genuine sympathy for what he had chosen to share with her, despite herself (as the potential meaning of his closing statement resonated) she soon found that those adamant reservations, coupled with that unsightly vision of him, had managed to emerge yet again, flashing briefly through her mind. *Stop…. Stop it! That didn’t happen! That…didn‘t happen…*
“But somehow…. I feel it is different when I am in your presence.” Yami smiled wistfully,allowing Teana to reciprocate both quickly andreadily. “Even then, during our first meeting, I can recall coming to a very similar conclusion.”
“Our first meeting….?” Teana blinked inquisitively,taken aback by his statement; a touch of guarded anticipation beginning to stir…
“Yes, our rather invigorating encounter, three days ago.”
“Oh…right. That‘s what you meant.” Teana replied; attemptingto hide her disappointment…..
“Regardless of those rather unusual circumstances, I was most certainly intrigued with how candid you had been, even before you had learned of my true identity.”
“So we’retalking about that again, are we?” Teana cringed, as she briefly placed a hand on her forehead.
Despite the awkwardness in having to relive the event, Teana found that she was actually thankful that Yami had opted to alter both the course and the tonality of their discussion. Fully aware that his departure was all but inevitable, she reasoned that she should persist onward with her efforts to alleviate the remaining tension. And though she could still feel herself reeling over….all that had happened, Teana continued to hope, that somehow, in some way, she would be able to encourage his return. Just…once more perhaps….?
Even if it was too much to hope for, it was that “next time” that Teana needed to believe in... Having the opportunity alone would be something; something that she could place her faith in… For in that one moment, that was all that mattered to her….
“Well, if you insist on bringing it up,” Teana began, “I can tell you that that wasn’t one of my finer moments, though I suppose that I’m just stating the obvious with that one. In the end, I was just really angry.” She elaborated. “I would even go as far as to say that I was having an off day. I don’t usually allow myself to get that upset. Actually, I can't get that upset because-”
*Oh no…. I need to careful not to talk about-* She mused inwardly, as she bit her lip, struggling to amend her statement. “I- I mean, I wouldn’t exactly call it proper, would you?” Teana rectified, with a very deliberate shrug of her shoulders. “What else can I say? There was just something about you that made me react. I didn’t really give it a lot of thought at the time, though maybe that was something I really should have done, looking back at it now.” Teana winced.
“No… Not at all. I found it refreshing. Truly. And it occurred in an instant where only moments prior, I had been contemplating a scenario very much like it; though it seemed almost impossible to me then. It’s rather curious, isn‘t it….?” Yami breathed, with a slight tilt of his head. “To think, that I would encounter someone who speak to me with such…spirit.” He then said, with the raise of an eye brow.
“Um…is that a really nice way of saying that I was just plain rude?” Teana replied, half jokingly; while also anticipating a legitimate response.
She then found herself somewhat startled by the sound of quiet laughter coming from the formerly composed young man; a reaction that was both unexpected…yet remarkably reassuring to her somehow…. *He… He‘s actually laughing…* Teana thought to herself, feeling her own expression softening. *I don’t know why but…I’m so glad….*
“Yet again,” Yami began, with a newfound lightness in his demeanor, “you manage to substantiate what I have deduced all along. That despite the length of time, you are able to freely express yourself, both openly and honestly to me. And in doing so, “in something so simple,” Yami continued, quoting from Teana’s own words, “you have begun to uncover what I once believed was lost within me as well. And I do… I do thank you for that, Teana.”
Though she felt herself blushing furiously as he spoke, prompting her to shyly avert her gaze, Teana also found herself conflicted by these remarks; for more reasons than one… Admittedly, she was quite moved by such staggering kindness, as she had been when he had spoken to her in a similar fashion, in the past…. Furthermore, the sheer foreignness of it all was nothing short of astounding, when she really thought about it; much less that it was her faraway prince, of all people, who was continuously bestowing it upon her! In spite of herself, she was unable to disregard his choice of wording; his talk of “honesty” in particular. She couldn’t help but wonder, wonder if that was really true, for either one of them. She did have a history after all, one that she simply couldn’t bring herself to share, just yet. And what about Yami? Was he hiding things from her too? Was the man that she saw before her now, really the man that she- Another useless thought! If she could only silence them! Each and every one!
“Teana?”
“Hm?” She replied quickly, fearing that she had appeared visibly lost within her own reflections. “I’m sorry… I- I wasn’t quite sure what to say…. I mean I’m flattered of course, but I really don’t know about all of that….all the things that you think that I- Oh, wait! I just remembered! Your hand…” Teana whispered, with a slight grimace.
“My hand?” Yami replied inquisitively.
“You know, when I-” She began, sighing uncomfortably. “Just a second, ok?” Reaching behind her, Teana produced a jar of clean water; water that she had brought with her that morning for the day’s work. Searching for, and ultimately finding, one of the finer pieces of linen upon the table (one that Yami himself had most likely bartered for) she then proceeded to dampen the strip of material.
“May I?” Teana asked, gesturing for the hand that she had held previously. With a slight nod, Yami slowly extended that hand, until it rested within both of Teana’s, once more.
Finding herself momentarily affected by the physical contact, even then, she soon set it aside; opting to focus on her immediate task. And so, with the greatest of care, Teana had begun to cleanse the back of Yami’s left hand; wiping away the stains of dried tears that she had shed.
In doing this, she now noticed, or rather surveyed in further detail, that his fingers were both long and slender. Though his skin was essentially soft and smooth, there was a slight roughness to it as well; presumably from the various forms of combat training that he had undertaken. Clearly there was a sense of power, a strength that could be felt in that hand, despite its use being to a lesser degree, as opposed to his right. Feeling a bit foolish for studying it in such detail, she perceived that his fingernails, which were oval in shape, had also been well kept, appearing nothing short of immaculate to her eyes.
“You have beautiful hands….”
“Do I now?”
“And I….really said that…didn‘t I?” Teana groaned, squinting her eyes in aggravation.
“Please, you mustn’t fret. And let me assure you, the compliment is greatly appreciated.” Yami said, with a confident grin. “It is this, this quality that I find most prominent in you, Teana; one that I would very much like to see again, another day.”
“Another day… You mean-”
“To my deep regret, I must now take my leave of this place, though I would like nothing more than to stay…. If I do not return soon, there may very well be another meaningless manhunt to determine my whereabouts; one that could prove quite troublesome, for the both of us. But before I go, I must tell you, that you have given me a great deal…to consider.”
Moving even closer,Teana could feel herself tensing in anticipation! With a gallant, fluid gesture, Yami then reached for her right hand, raising it gently to his lips. Shivers coursing down her spine, Teana once again found herself at a loss for words; fighting an all but overwhelming urge to release a girlish giggle! Such thoughts soon dissipated seeing the flickering sadness that reemerged when Yami faced her again.
“This time, for certain, Teana…I bid you far-”
“Don‘t...” Teana whispered. She felt her eyes widening at her boldness, prompting her to clear her throat nervously. “I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to- But please, please don’t say good bye…. I would rather you tell me, “until next time,“ or “see you again,” maybe?” I will see you again…won‘t I, Yami?” She asked uncertainly, now recalling a very similar parting, during their last encounter.
“Yes... Yes you will.” Yami replied, purposefully.
With Teana’s hand still in his, Yami lingered at her side, as he seemed unwilling to let her go… Squeezing gently, he then cupped it briefly with his left. Releasing her at last, he proceeded to straighten and secure his hood with a heavy sigh. As Yami cautiously surveyed the vicinity, in order to find both the quickest and safest route home, Teana could now see, and even feel the change in his demeanor… It was as if he had already returned to that cold, dismal place he had spoken of; one that appeared to rob him completely of his joy. Gazing down at her again, for the briefest of moments, he looked as if he had wanted to say something; something important…. As Teana anticipated those words, instead, Yami simply nodded, before ultimately continuing on his way.
As her eyes forlornly followed him, Teana couldn’t help but wonder whatis was that Yami had wished to tell her. She also questioned whether or not the young prince would, in fact, return; despite his reassurances. Catching one final glimpse, before she managed to lose sight of him, Teana noticed that he had turned to look back at her once more! Though she smiled at him from a distance, which he indeed reciprocated, it was soon replaced with an expression of fleeting, noticeable regret; one that concerned her, even after he had disappeared from view….And without his presence, Teana was left with not only a feeling of emptiness, but a multitude of assailing, haunting questions; questions that she simply couldn’t bring herself to face just yet….
*For now…* Teana mused, feeling a sudden chill pass through her. *I want- I need to hold on…just for now….