Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yugioh: Christmas Party ❯ Kissing, explosions and SECRETS STASHES OF PORN?!?!? ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Yami/Bakura: *tired* paper.......rock....scissors....

*both get scissors*

Tea: *sigh* won't you 2 ever learn?

Gw: geez, I'm under a lot of pressure, Yami or Bakura......and then there's Malik.

Yami: who in the hell put Malik in the competition?!

Gw: I guess he did it himself. *points at Malik* Dammit Malik! You know no one can resist your boyish-good looks!!

Malik: *flips hair* ^_^

Tea: It doesn't matter because my only true love is of course Marik! *jumps into Marik's lap*

Marik: meh, whatever.

*Yami and Bakura stare wide eyed*

Everyone: (((((((((((O_O)))))))))))))

Gw: WHOSE BEEN SCREWING WITH TEA'S EMOTIONS!!!!!!

*Ryou, Yugi, Joey, Tristan and Malik whistle simultaneously*

Bakura: I'll kill you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *can't decide which one to kill first* D`oh!

Marik: You're just lucky I take anger management classes.

Isis: *proud* good job Marik!

Marik: ^_^

Mai: um, aren't you afraid that if he bottles up his anger for a long time he'll explode and kill everyone in one gigantic bloody homicidal freak fest?

Isis: (O_O) I never thought of that........

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Bakura and Yami

Yami: *walking along the long corridors of the basement*

Bakura: *doing the same thing, but trying to stay as far away from Yami as possible*

Yami: *trying to start conversation* ...........where do you think Mokuba is?

Bakura: don't know, don't care.

Yami: Then why did you come down here?

Bakura: *rolls eyes* Let me paint a picture for you pharaoh, *stops walking* I'll save Mokuba from the depths of the basement, Tea will realize I'm caring and loving, fast forward to honeymoon in Hawaii. *frowns at Yami* you're just slowing me down.

Yami: *like rabid monkey* For your information, tomb raider, Tea and I will have our honeymoon in the Caribbean!

Bakura: Hawaii.

Yami: The Caribbean!

Bakura: Hawaii!!!!!

Yami: The Caribbean!!!!!!

Bakura: Agh! There is no point in arguing with you! The faster I find Mokuba, the faster I can get to the sunny oceans with Tea.

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Seto Kaiba, master cook

Seto: *comes into living room with fresh baked cookies!*

*Joey and Tristan give him hungry stares*

Joey: Kaiba.......where did you get those cookies?!

Seto: *flatly* somewhere you wouldn't get your hands on.

Tristan: Well................Are you going to share them?

Seto: no.

Joey: COME-ON! *lunges for them*

Seto: I said NO! *steps out of the way* They are for something more important then you!

Joey: *picks himself off the floor* Give us one good reason to believe you!

Seto: *can't think of anything* uh, um It`s a Kaiba--er, family tradition to put cookies out for Santa!

Joey/Tristan: *give him a hard stare*

Seto:..... *runs away*

Joey/Tristan: GIVE US THE DAMN COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Malik Ishtar, horny and bored (like always)

Malik: OH Tea!!!!!! Would you come here for a second?

Tea: *sigh* What is it now, Malik....*sluggishly pulls herself to Malik's presence*

Malik: *grinning like the perverted maniac he is* look up.

Tea: huh? *looks up* Oh no.........

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*Tristan and Joey have Kaiba backed into a corner*

Tristan: now hand over the cookies nice and easy...

Seto: YOUR NOT GETTING THESE COOKIES!

Joey: That's it, GET EM!

*Tristan and Joey pounce on Kaiba, but Kaiba jumps out of the way just in time sending them both pouncing into the wall*

*What's weirder, is that Tristan and Joey go through the wall*

Tristan: What the fudge?!

Seto: HEY! Get out of there!

Joey: where are we? *stands up and finds light switch*

*flips light switch*

*Tristan and Joey's mouths touch the floor*

Seto: -_- oh, great, you've found my secret stash of various fun things.......

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Isis: *talking with Mai and Serenity* Here's a good question. who do you think is the hottest out of the boys present?

Mai: very good question....*thinks* I'm between Bakura and Yami.

Serenity: O_o? Are you serious?! What about, uh, Joey?

Mai: Joey has boyish-good looks. Not necessarily handsome....but cute.

Serenity: okay, then I personally like-*Tea comes running through the room*

Tea: *screaming at the top of her lungs* NEEEEVER!!!!!!!! *runs out of den*

girls: O_o

Isis: what was that all about?

Malik: *running in the same direction as Tea* Where did she go?!?

*Mai, Serenity and Isis dumbly point out of living room*

Malik: Thanks! *runs out of den*

Serenity: that was random.

Isis: got that right.

Mai: *thinks* Isis, just where did you put that Mistletoe?

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Tristan: Gosh, you have everything that is cool in here....*starts going through fun stuff* silly string, party poppers, water guns--itching powder?

Seto: ......

Joey: SWEET! Firecrackers! He must have every single type!

Tristan: cool! *starts naming fire crackers* mp-40s, Snake streamers, fairy catchers, jack in boxes!

Tristan: *staring wide eyed at a gigantic one* GRANDMA SHAKERS!!!!!!

Seto: *puts hand in head* this is worst than the time Mokuba found my secret porno stash...

Joey: SECRET PORNO STASH?!

Seto: O_O0......uh, who said anything about a porno stash? *grabs the backs of Joey and Tristan's shirt and pushes them out* quit slobbering you dogs. You're not touching any of these various fun things.

Joey: Wat?!? That isn't fair. You must have everything that is fun!

Seto: so?!

Tristan: what we're are trying to say is why does some stuffy rich guy have the coolest things in the world?

Seto: *sigh* To tell you the truth....Every time I'm really bored. I come down here and goof off. It really got me off the porno stash too.

Tristan: SECRET PORNO STASH??!

Seto: uh, *bad acting* How many times do I have to tell you? I don't have a secret porno stash!

Joey: well, this sucks. All this fun stuff and we can't even play with it.......

Seto: *light bulb appears above his head* Well.......*light bulb falls on his head* ow! I gotta fix that.....

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Tea: *hiding in hallway closet* *thinking* God oh God, I hope Malik doesn't find me in here.......I can't believe he tricked me into standing under the mistletoe.....*hears something* OH GOSH!

Malik: *walking down hallway* *in singsong voice* OH Tea! Where are you?

Tea: *closes eyes* please don't find me, please don't find me, please don't find me....

Malik: I gotta find her, I gotta find her, I gotta find her.

*Malik is right in front of the closet Tea is in*

Tea: *silent*

Malik: *concentrating*

Tea: *thinking* it sure is dusty in here--uh oh*small sneeze* I hope he didn't hear that.

Malik: Aha! *opens closet door* *perverted grin*

Tea: ^_^0 uh, hi Malik.

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Ryou: *watching TV*

Weather dude:* Hello folks! IT really isn't a good day in Domino City, the biggest blizzard in city history is still going through town, many people are trapped in there homes and probably won't get out till Christmas day tomorrow......

Ryou: *sigh* *in thought* Oh dear, I can't believe I'm going to spend Christmas in this blasted house (an: hahaha, he even thinks Britishly((is that a word?))).

*Doesn't notice Yugi, who is slowly advancing upon him*

Ryou: Oh well, as long as I don't come across that Yugi Moto.

Yugi: *creeps up right behind Ryou*

Ryou: *sigh*

Yugi: *Pounces!!*

Ryou: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Yugi: Die you British Bastard! DIE! *tries to strangle Ryou*

Ryou: Yugi! *gasp* Stop it! *gasp*

Yugi: Never!!!!!!

*Ryou wrestles with Yugi for about a second (Yugi being so small and, uh.....weak) then successfully pins Yugi down*

Ryou: Yugi! What has gotten into you!?

Yugi: *struggling* I'll kill you!

Ryou: I am not going to let you go until you tell me why you've been trying to kill me!

Yugi: *sigh* fine....It's because you took Isis from me........I'll never forgive you for that.

Ryou: *lets go of Yugi* ...........sorry.

Yugi: *sits up* No, you shouldn't be sorry.........I mean everyone gets a break-up once in awhile, right?

Ryou: yeah, I guess your right.

*both sit in silence*

Ryou: so, you're not mad at me any more, right?

Yugi: The truth is that I was never mad at you.

Ryou: WHAT?!

Yugi: Yeah, I don't know why, but I just get sudden urges to beat the crap out of you sometimes...........Maybe because your British.....

Ryou: *jumps up* Are you racist or something?!?

Yugi: no! Gosh! Can't a guy feel like beating up another guy who stole his girlfriend away from him?! Geez! *sigh* I need a drink....

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Closest of luv--I mean hate! HATE!

Tea: *giggling nervously* Hiya, Malik.....It would be awfully crowded with the both of us in here.

Malik: It would be wouldn't it?

Tea: Yeah, so......I'll be going *moves towards the door*

Malik: *grabs Tea* You aren't going anywhere. *steps into closet and closes door*

Tea:..................AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++

Bakura: *suddenly jumps* My "Tea-sense" is tingling!

Yami: What the fudge are you talking about?

Bakura: Tea! I can feel she's in trouble! *grabs Yami* We have to do something!

Yami: *gives Bakura a queer look, shoves Bakura off him* Tea is perfectly fine. You're just making up some stupid excuse to go upstairs and make out with her.

Bakura: I am not!

Yami: You are too! I mean, who in the hell has a "Tea-sense"?! *continues to meander down the basement hallway*

Bakura: *mumbling* hmph! People who actually care about her.

Yami: *heard Bakura, turns around very slowly* Are you saying I don't care about Tea?!

Bakura: *evil smirk* yes.

Yami: *like rabid monkey* I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!! *lunges at Bakura while emitting loud war cry*

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++

Malik: don't worry Tea, I won't bite.

Tea: *struggling* Malik! Stop it! I am NOT going to kiss you!

Malik: *sigh* fine.

Tea: I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO KISS--What?

Malik: I said fine.

Tea: oh...okay, I thought you would put up more of a fight. I mean, you really seemed like you wanted that kiss.

Malik: well, *solemnly* I guess I just wanted to get my first kiss in some sort of romantic way, like under the mistletoe. *shrugs* I guess it wouldn't be romantic if the other person didn't want to. *sigh*

Tea: *truly touched* Malik! Your first kiss? If you would've of told me that, I would of kissed you!

Malik: really?

Tea: of course!

Malik: *blushing* well, can you?

Tea: *smiling* sure.

Malik: *in thought* MWAHAHAHAHA! I can't believe she fell for all that sensitivity junk! WEEEEEEEELA!! Score one for Malik, and score zip for honesty, love, and all that other crap! MWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Tea: are you ready?

Malik: Uh, sure..

*Malik and Tea get closer............*

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Secret stash of porno--I mean fun! FUN!!!

Seto: *running around berserk with a five silly string cans worth of crap all over him* I'll destroy you all! HAHAHA!!! *pulls out water gun*

Joey/Tristan: Never!!!!!

*brief water gun fight*

Joey: *turns on bubble-machine-of-death* Yay!

Seto: I forgot about that thing! *runs over to bubble machine*

*five pixie sticks and a kazoo party later*

*Joey, Seto, and Tristan are sitting in beanbags*

Joey: *pulls silly string out of his hair* wow Kaiba, never would of guessed you had it in ya.

Seto: *dreamy sigh* yup, I've had some great times in this room.

Tristan: you know what would be the cat's pajamas!?

Seto/Joey: what?

Tristan: *points to the gigantic firecracker*

*Seto and Joey look at each other with evil grins*

*two seconds later all three are surrounded around the "Grandma Shaker" with a lighter*

Seto: okay, when I say light the fuse, we all get the hell out of here.

Joey: yeah, I heard one of these babies, could blow the roof off a house.

Tristan: .......*turns to Kaiba* are you sure we should do this...I mean, firecrackers ar-*Kaiba already lit the fuse* eep.

Seto: HOLY SHIT! *gets the hell out of there*

Tristan: wait for me!!!! *follows*

Joey: *stares with a silly grin, Tristan grabs him and pushes him out*

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

Malik and Tea are edging closer and coincidently the firecracker in the "room o' fun" is burning. The fuse burns, Malik and Tea get closer, Malik and Tea get closer, and the fuse burns. When Malik and Tea are about an inch away from each other's lips a loud disturbing sound comes out of nowhere.

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---------------------------------------------------------------K ABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malik: *totally freaked out, falls out of closet in a comical fashion*

Tea: *still standing* What the heck was that!!!!!!!!!

Malik: *standing up* I don`t know. *in thought* DAMN, SHIT, DAMN, SHIT, DAMN, SHIT, DAAAAAAAAAMN!

Tea: We should go and check it out.

Malik: ok Tea. *in thought* I SWEAR WHOEVER DID THIS SHALL FEEL MY UNDYING WRATH!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY CHANCE IN MY LIFE I WAS EVER GOING TO KISS SOMEONE! EVER!!!!!! *out loud, trying to suppress anger* come on, lets go.

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Yami and Bakura (yeah, they felt it too)

Yami: *has Bakura pinned down and is currently trying to send him to the shadow realm* I'll show you to insult my love for Tea!

Bakura: *trembling in fear* I was just kidding! Come on pharaoh, it was a joke!

Yami: Well, I hope you think THIS is funny! OBLITER-*gigantic explosion makes him lose his balance, causing him to send some cardboard boxes titled "Secret porno stash" to the shadow realm*

*people in shadow realm are very happy*

Bakura: *stands up* See I told you! Something has happened to Tea! *heads toward basement door (an: I don't even think he knows where that is)*

Yami: *grabs back of his shirt* No way! We are going to find Mokuba first! *mumbling* Your just lucky I don't feel like doing anymore "banishing".

Bakura: *grumpily* whatever *in thought* I am going to die a horrible smelly life.

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Marik and Mokuba

Mokuba: did you just feel that?

Marik: *who just fell headfirst into the fondue maker due to the explosion* yes...*pulls his head out of the fondue maker*

Mokuba: O_o, ........anyway, from what I've seen on the security monitors, the others have sent Yami and Bakura to come down here and find us.......or just me.

Marik: *evil grin* the more the merrier.... *holds his head back and laughs* MWAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! *leans back so far he falls back into the fondue maker* aw nuts.

Mokuba: ..............

================================================================ =

*Joey, Seto and Tristan are doubled over laughing in the den*

Seto: *wipes tears out of his eyes* That was the most fun I've had in a long time.

*three freaked girls storm the den*

Serenity: *runs to Kaiba and gives him a big hug* oh Seto! I thought whatever exploded hurt you and--why are laughing?

Kaiba: *stifles laugh* uh, Joey and Tristan were, um

Tristan: Joey farted!

*all three boys laugh their heads off*

Mai: *clearly upset* That wasn't funny, you guys! We actually thought you were hurt!

Joey: *stands up* Don't worry about it Mai, we we're just having alittle fun.

Mai: ..........as long as you're okay.

Serenity: *sigh* Well, it's good to see you guys are finally getting along.

*Ryou and Yugi run in*

Ryou: *gasping for breath* We were all the way across the house when we heard the explosion! Is everyone alright?!

Tristan: don't worry about it guys, we were just having a little fun.

Seto: *pointing at Yugi* YUGI! What are you doing!?!?

Yugi: *apparently drinking some alcoholic beverage* Uh........

Seto: OH great, you found my secret vodka stash.

Everyone: SECRET VODKA STASH?!

Seto:......................

*Tea and Malik appear*

Malik: *fairly pissed off* Okay, which one of you assholes caused the explosion?!

*Joey points to Kaiba, Kaiba points to Tristan and Tristan points to Joey*

Malik: -_-0 I don't care!! I'll kill all of-*Isis grabs his ear* ow-ow-oow!

Isis: Malik Ishtar! What did I tell you about death threats!?

Malik: *sigh* There is no use in saying them if your not really going to kill them........

Isis: Now apologize!

Malik: .......sorry.

Everyone: (((((((((O_O))))))))))

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Bakura: hey! You promised to tell us who Tea liked!

Gw:..............

Yami: It better not be MALIK!!!!!!!!!!

Gw:................

Bakura: AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING!!!!!!!

Gw: geez, here's my new promise, you'll find out by the end of the story.

Yami/Bakura: WHAT?!

Gw: ^_^0 in the mean time lets changes Tea's feelings towards Marik. *pulls out controller that says "character emotions", presses button*

Ryou: *twitches then turns to Tristan* BY MY SWORD YOU SHALL DIE!!!!!! *starts beating the crap out of him*

Gw: O_O0, oops wrong button......*presses another*

Yugi: *twitches, then starts doing/singing the "Macarena"*

Gw: ((O_O)), oops again, I'll try one more button. *pushes button, chapter ends* *in black void* WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS THING!!!!!

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an: Okay, just want yall to know, there will be another chapter, and I'm sorry I didn't reveal Tea's love in this one....and I know there was alooooot of "Malik time", but it doesn't effect anything in the Tea's love competition.........IT MAKES IT A LOT CRRRRRRRRAZIER! MWAHAHAHAHA!