Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yugioh: Christmas Party ❯ The yamis that saved Christmas--hahaha! Yeah, right! ( Chapter 12 )

Disclaiming: I don't own Yugioh! OKAY?!? Who reads these anyway?

Gw: It is not my fault that Marik's plans are crappy!

Marik: It sorta is, you wrote it.

Gw: but you said it.

Marik: *rolls eyes* Everyone already hates me.

Tristan: he has a point.

Gw: uh, don't worry! No one is going to die!

Seto: *lying on the floor unconscious (from aspirin)*

Mokuba: *poking him*

Gw: Mokuba! Stop that! Here, take this a huge box of chocolate that Chibi Tell gave you.

Mokuba: *eating* SUGAR!

Yami: Hey! Chocolate!

Mokuba: leave me alone! it's mine!

Yami: *advances on Mokuba* No way that chocolate's mine!

Bakura: *pushes Yami out of the way* In your dreams!

Malik: *pushes Bakura out of the way* In your dreams!

Seto: *wakes up* back off you punks! It's mine!

*Large dust cloud fight starts*

Tristan: *takes out bet book* I'm putting 5 dollars on Kaiba!

Joey: 10 dollars on Yami!

Tea: You guys are barbaric! (20 on Mokuba).

]====================================[

Tea: *drags an unconscious Malik out of the pool* OH god! I hope he doesn't die! *Prepares to resuscitate him--but thinks twice* *in thought* wait a minute! Why would Malik drown? He's a better swimmer than I am! *Mental gasp* That's the only reason he brought me here! He just wanted me to slap my lips on him! GROSS! I bet he's just faking! *Looks down at Malik* jerk. I'm all for friendship, but please. *Out loud* Wake up Malik! I know your faking! * Pushes him*

Malik: *coughs up water*

Tea: O_o

Malik: *looks disoriented* What happened?

Tea: *kneels beside him* I-uh...

Malik: *jumps up* Tea! You saved me! And after all those times I tried to make out with you!

Tea: uh.... Yeah, sure, I saved you!

Malik: *takes Tea's hand* Oh Tea! My sweet loving Tea! You are truly an angel! *Stands up and pulls her closer to him* I knew you and I were meant for each other!

Tea: O_o...uh, look over there! *Points behind him* A diversion!

Malik: huh? *Turns around*

Tea: *runs away*

]====================================[

Yugi: *sitting inside the living room with the rest of the guys* I feel funny.

Tristan: *gives him a queer look* what do you mean you feel funny? I don't feel anything.

Joey: do you feel "laugh-laugh-giggle-giggle-ha-ha" funny? Or "uncomfortable" funny?

Yugi: I don't know, I just feel funny.

Ryou: Speaking of which, I feel funny too.

Tristan: What is up you two?

Yugi: I don't know. The last time I felt like this way was when Yami and I were in great danger.

Ryou: yeah! Me too!

Joey: do ya think anything happened to them? Do ya think we should go downstairs and make sure that Marik and Mokuba aren't in some secret alliance and Marik turned against Mokuba, and Yami, Bakura and Mokuba aren't tied up about to get exploded by something that could be a porno-bomb?

Ryou: nah, probably some false alarm.

Everyone: yeah.

Tea: *walks in closesly followed by a love dazed Malik* Hello people!

Isis: Why is my brother following you?

Tea: I don't know.

Isis: ok, whatever.

Tristan: Could we get back to the subject of Marik, Mokuba, Bakura and Yami? I'm really beginning to worry about them.

Yugi: *feeling guilty* I can't believe they've been down there so long...

Joey: *also feeling guilty* yeah. . . some friends we are.

Seto: *jumps up* oh god, you said the "F" word!

Ryou: Eep! Take cover!

Tea: *goes into "rant" mode* I believe friends are the most important people in life. We should love and cherish them, becase friends are people who care and love and.......

*5 hours later*

Tea: and in conclusion, Friends are cool.

Malik: *stands up* Bravo!

Joey: *snoring*

Mai: *nudges him* Joey!

Joey: *wakes up* huh? wha?

Ryou: *looking at watch* That's odd, I thought Friendship rant number 124.78c was 4 hours and 22 minutes.

Yugi: that was number 143.76a.

Ryou: I see.

Tristan: *looks at clock* Well, it's pretty late so I think I am going to hit the sack.

Serenity: *stretches* me too.

Tea: and remember, Friends are everything!

Tristan: O_O oh god, lets get out of here before she starts up again.

Yugi: yeah, maybe in the morning I won't feel funny.

Ryou: yeah, maybe.

]====================================[

Yami: *in thought* I've just got to do something. Aha! Maybe my puzzle could somehow help. *Goes through mental list of what puzzle can do* Banish people to shadow realm.... Banish people to Oklahoma.... Destroy souls....communicate with Hikari...Oklahoma! I mean--my Hikari! I almost forgot about him!

Bakura: *staring at Yami* *in thought* I wonder what he`s thinking about...probably ways to kill me and steal Tea...speaking of Tea, I've just got to do something. Aha! Maybe my ring could somehow help. All my ring can do is Capture souls, communicate with my Hikari and allow me to have free trips to Disney World. I guess my Hikari can help somehow.... Ooor I can go to Disney World...

]====================================[

Yugi: *in room* I still wonder why I'm feelin' funny.

Ryou: yeah, me too. Anyway, I'm going to take a shower. *Goes into bathroom*

Yugi: *sitting on his bed, suddenly gets pulled into soul room* What the crude bunnies?

Yami: Yugi! Ra bless you! *Grabs him* listen very closely, Marik has Mokuba, Bakura, and I in the basement tied up, and he is planning to detonate a porno bomb using Kaiba's porno stash-

Yugi: KAIBA HAS A PORNO STASH?!

Yami: yeah, I know. Anyway, you need to tell everyone! I'm planning to fix this, but I don't want to take any chances in Tea-I mean-you guys getting hurt.

Yugi: I don't understand!

Yami: just go to Kaiba and say "your porno stash is going to blow" and I'm sure he'll do something.

Yugi: Okay, but . . . .a porno bomb?

Yami: *shrugs* It's Marik for Ra's sake!

]====================================[

Ryou: *taking a shower, suddenly gets pulled into his soul room* What the fudge muffins?

Bakura: Ryou! *Looks at him* Ra! Put on some pants!

Ryou: you're the one who summoned me while I was taking a shower!

Bakura: *rolls eyes* just shutup for a second. Marik has Mokuba, Yami and I hostage in the basement, and he is planning to set off a porno bomb using Kaiba's secret porno stash-*automatic pause*

Ryou: *staring* . . . . What?

Bakura: oh, I just thought you would say "KAIBA HAS A PORNO STASH?!".

Ryou: why would I be interested in that?

Bakura: -_- never mind, anyway, you need to tell everyone! I'm planning to fix this, but I don't want to take any chances in Tea-I mean, you guys getting hurt so hurry up!

Ryou: sure, Now send me back! I'm naked!

Bakura: Oh shutup, I've seen your dreams and you are always naked.

Ryou: . . . no comment.

]====================================[

Marik: Now you three sit tight, I'm going to go check to see if my getaway route is clear.

Yami: you have a getaway route?

Marik: duh, I'm not going to sit here and explode. I have to watch the demise of Christmas.

Bakura: how are you going to get out?

Marik: There's another door leading out of the basement, I'm just hoping it's not blocked with snow. So piss you guys later. *Leaves*

Yami: *as soon as the door closes, jumps around* I just have to get out of these ropes!

Bakura: *sneezes* I have to get away from the fondue!

Mokuba: if both of you would calm down I'll solve all of your problems. *Jumps out of ropes*

Bakura: O_o, how did you do that?

Mokuba: a little thing I call toxic waste

]====================================[

Ryou: *runs out of bathroom (WITH CLOTHES ON)*

Yugi: *stands up* Ryou! Did your Yami tell you?

Ryou: yeah, so what do we do?

Yugi: I don't know! *Starts jumping up and down* Just too much pressure!

Ryou: *slaps him* get a hold of your self! About 14 lives and millions of children depend on us and I am not about to let them down!

Yugi: *staring* When did you become such a leader?

Ryou: I get really hyper after I take showers! *Points out of room* Let us depart! *Runs out of room* Tra-la-la-laa!

Yugi: and I thought I was insane!

Voice in Yugi's head: you are!

]====================================[

Bakura: finally! *Walks over to the fondue maker (sneezing)* I'll (achoo) take care (achoo!) of this dumb (achoo!! achoo!!!) fondue maker! (MOTHER OF ALL SNEEZES)

Yami: *untied* Ra! Man! That sneeze could blow the trunk of an elephant!

Bakura: *sniffs* shutup, and do something about the fondue!

Yami: fine, just as long you don't blast a booger at me.

Mokuba: hahaha! You said booger!

]====================================[

Fondue: *in a closet*

Bakura: okay, here's the plan. When Marik comes back we tackle him, tie him up and dump the fondue on his head! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Yami: -_-0 ooooooor he could tell us how to defuse the porno bomb.

Bakura: yeah, sure, whatever.

Mokuba: Shhh! I can hear him! Hide!

Marik: *walks into room* Where did everyone go? . . . *realizes what's about to happen* . . . aw fudge.

Yami: *jumps from out of nowhere with a crazy rabid money shriek* GET HIM!

*Five minutes of kicking, biting and slight negotiation later*

Marik: *all tied up* I will kill you all!

Bakura: *laughs like a maniac* you wish! Now shutup or the fondue maker goes on your head!

Yami: I'll think I'll take control of this. *Turns to Marik* Marik, where is the Bomb?

Marik: up your ass!

Bakura: spit it out you freak!

Marik: I'll never tell!

Yami: that's it, get me the fondue.

Marik: (Oo) Eeep! Not the fondue! Please, anything but the fondue!

]====================================[

*Everyone is cranky, pissed off and scared becuase Ryou and Yugi woke them up to tell them the news*

Seto: I'LL KILL HIM!

Isis: calm down! There will be no killing! I am sure Mokuba, Yami and Bakura are going to pull themselves out of this.

Seto: *full of murderous rage* If anything happens to my porno stash-I mean- my brother, I will shove my foot so far up Marik's--

Ryou: *slaps him* Get a hold of your self, man!

Seto: *rubs cheek* owie...

Tristan: so what do we do now?

Joey: we could always go down there.

Malik: now way! My yami knows evil things! Evil, horrible things!

]====================================[

Bakura: *picks up teddy bear* What the fuck is this?!

Marik: It's the friggin' detonator! The rest of bomb is somewhere in the mansion.

Yami: You put it in a teddy bear?! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Marik: I have issues.

Yami: we can tell.

Bakura: *shakes head* This is wrong on so many levels.

Yami: so Marik, tell us how to defuse the bomb.

Marik: uh, um, you see, that's a minor problem...

Bakura: DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW!!

Marik: *cowers* I had Mokuba under mind control at the time--he would know.

Yami: YOU HAD MOKUBA UNDER MIND CONTROL?!

Marik: . . .*cowers even more* please don't put the fondue on my head. *whimpers*

Bakura: you're are so pathetic.

Yami: where is Mokuba anyway?

Mokuba: *playing with the lint from his pockets*

Bakura: do you think Mokuba could actually defuse this thing?

Yami: he's our only hope. *walks up to Mokuba* Uh, Mokuba, do you know to defuse a bomb?

Mokuba: duh, doesn't everyone?

Yami: *hands him teddy bear* well, this is the detonator for the porno bomb, I need for you to, uh, stop the bomb from detonating.

Mokuba: sure, no prob. *pulls out screwdriver*

Bakura: *relieved sigh* I almost thought this Christmas was going to be catastrophic.

Yami: yeah, but nothing could jinx this! Absolutely nothing!

Marik: *in thought* don't be so sure of your selves, boys. *evil mental laugh*

]====================================[

Gw: oh yay! The ficcy is getting to the climax!

Mokuba: *eating chocolate* Maybe this fic isn't so bad.

Yami: *seriously injured* you're just saying that because you have chocolate!

Mokuba: duh!

Seto: *terribly worried* Do you know how many years it took me to make a porno stash of that magnitude!? I can't let anything happen to it!

Gw: *rolls eyes* your porno stash will be perfectly fine, Kaiba. *turns to Serenity* aren't you ever angry at him for having so much porn?

Serenity: no. not really.

Seto: ^_^ isn't she the best!?

Everyone: -_-