Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fist Of The North Star Fan Fiction / Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Trigun Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter D Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Hellsing Fan Fiction / Shaman King Fan Fiction ❯ Dragonfane's Dark Tournament ❯ Prelude to the Half-Time Extrodinaire!! ( Chapter 12 )
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! I do, however, own this computer that I'm typing this on!
Demons can be seen sitting in the arena waiting for half-time to begin. Dragonblade walks into the arena with his gang and grabs a mike.
A/N: BTW, here's who is in my gang so far. Yes, BIG, I am using your "Here's who's in my Gang" chart to show everyone who was in my gang if they forgot.
If I left anyone else out it's because I don't want anymore room to be taken up or it's because I forgot who was in my group.
Dragonblade: Well, people, I have some unfortunate news for you!
Dragonblade: Shut up! I wasn't finished! Anyway, it appears we're having technical difficulties with our host Simon.
Dragonblade: (Sprouts wings causing everyone to shut up) So until we can resolve this issue, we implore that you enjoy a series of well thought up of matches that you are sure to like!
BIG_DADDY: *cough cough*
Dragonblade: Well, humorous anyway. But before I begin I would like to apologize for not updating in a VERY long time! Please accept my apology.
Demons: (Begin muttering and deciding)
Dragonblade: (Grows fangs) What if I said you didn't have a choice?
Demons: (Immediately turn and face him) Fine! We forgive you!
Dragonblade: Excellent! Now enjoy a series of matches that we have prepared especially for you while we have been away! (A screen on a jumbotron reveals several matches for half-time)
Hercule vs. Jorgen von Strangle
Arucard vs. Baby
Spopovitch vs. Duffman/(Gohan)
Ginyu Force vs. Paradox Bros., Homer, Disco Stu, and Moe Syzlak
Sailor Dark: I'm not sure that last one was a very good idea.
Dragonblade: Yeah, but I don't give a crap.
Thunderchaos: Besides, it's sure to be hilarious!
Jed: (Steals the mike from Dragonblade) So enjoy the two-bit half-time show we have prepared especially for all of you losers.
Dragonblade: MY MIKE! GET YOUR OWN! (Kicks Jed across the ring and lands in a wall. Everyone walks off and gets ready to prepare for the half-time show)
Meanwhile, in a corridor
A tall man dressed in black is conversing with someone. You can't see their faces because they are completely covered by the shadows.
Man: So, what do you two make of this tournament so far?
Tall Man: Well, that Dragonblade character seems to have some incredible fighting advantage. He might just make for a worth opponent.
Man: Yes, his last fight was truly one of the most remarkable displays of increasing power I've ever seen.
Tall Man: What do you say we invite him?
Man: Let's wait this out and see what else he's capable of. Besides, I'd like to savor this ones death. He will be a great challenge to face. (Walks away)
Tall Man: (Turns outside to the arena and lights a cigarette) Dragonblade…your power is one of the most enormous I've ever come across. (Grins) I hope you don't disappoint me in any of your upcoming matches. (The man beside him snickers)
A/N: If anyone knows who the three people are I advise you to keep quiet about it because it would ruin the surprise at the end.
Outside the arena near a Payphone
Cooler: Any luck contacting Hercule, Gunlord?
Message Machine: *BEEP* /Greetings fellow fan of mine! You have reached the Greatest Martial Arts Champion in the world! However, if you hear this message it means that I am not available at this moment, whether I am signing autographs, or showing my superior strength to some no do-gooders, or prepping my muscles for the next World Martial Arts Tournament…./ *BEEP*
Gunlord: I think that means he's out for the time being.
Cooler: Then what do we do? The matches will be ruined!
Gunlord: Don't worry. We just need to fly several miles to West City and search for his mansion.
They both lift off and fly away in search of him.
Back in the ring
Dragonblade: (Waiting impatiently with Seto) Seto, you said they both would be here soon. Where are they?!
Seto: Well, knowing Jorgen, he's probably admiring his superior muscles in a mirror.
Back in the locker rooms
Jorgen: (Admiring his superior muscles in a mirror) Who's a pretty boy? WHO'S A PRETTY BOY? (Winds up for a punch) NO ONE BUT ME! (Smashes the mirror) Now no one can be more buff than I!
Back in the ring
Dragonblade: What about Hercule?
Seto: I phoned him but his message machine answered me so I sent Gunlord and Cooler to look for him.
Somewhere in West City
Gunlord and Cooler land on the ground in front of Hercule's Mansion.
Cooler: Wow. This is a big mansion.
Gunlord: Let's not get to into it's superior height over every other mansion in existence. …….Oh crap. Now I'm caught up in it. (Begins "oohing" and "aahing" along with Cooler)
Back in the ring
Dragonblade: Well get them over here and fast! The crowd is getting restless! (Crowd begins to shout insults at him) SHUT UP MAGGOTS!!! (Blows wind at them with his wings and plasters them all to their seats) I'm off to find Jorgen. Contact BIG_DADDY and Thunderchaos and tell them both to find Gunlord and Cooler as quick as possible and get Hercule while they're at it. (Sets off to find Jorgen)
Seto: (Pulls out an intercom and calls BIG_DADDY and Thunderchaos to the ring)
BIG_DADDY: You called?
Seto: Yes, it appears that Gunlord and Cooler have gone missing and we need you two to find them as soon as possible before every demon in this stadium goes crazy there's no more tournament.
Thunderchaos: You can count on us.
BIG_DADDY: AUTHOR POWER!!! (They both disappear and reappear in front of Hercule's Mansion)
Thunderchaos: Wow! It's so big! (Begins to oogle at its amazing height)
BIG_DADDY: Gunlord…Thunderchaos…Cooler…what has gotten into you guys? Fight of the temptation!
BIG_DADDY: (Wearing goggles) You guys! Fight the power!.......FIGHT IT!!!
Thunderchaos: I'm sorry BIG_DADDY…we have failed everyone.
BIG_DADDY: O_O' NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back in the ring
Rach-Chan, Rachel, Sailor Dark, Jed, Lyona, and Porunga are standing in the middle of the stadium trying to calm the demons down.
Porunga: People please! We're trying our best to find the missing competitors!
Demon 1: I payed 50D to get into this tournament to watch a fight! Not some lame half-time show where nothing happens! (Hurls garbage at them with the other demons)
Sailor Dark: We ask that everyone calm down or I will be forced to Data Drain you all!
Random Demons: BOO!!!!!.....Get out of here…..Why don't you filthy humans get out of here and spread your stink somewhere else……You call this a half-time show?! (They all begin to hurl garbage)
Back in the corridors
Dragonblade: *Jorgen, where in the hell are you?* (Suddenly stops in the locker room where he finds Jorgen admiring his superior muscle strength by lifting up 10 ton weights) JORGEN!!!!!
Jorgen: (Drops the weights causing them to fall through the floor) What is it puny human?
Dragonblade: I've been searching all over for you! Don't you know that the half-time show is about to start and the demons are ready to riot if you don't make an appearance and that there will be no more tournament if we don't keep things running according to schedule?
Jorgen: And I can't enjoy the superior size of my superiorly huge muscles to your puny human ones?
Jorgen: Fine. (Under breath) Spoil sport. (Walks out to the arena)
Back in West City
BIG_DADDY: (Watching in horror as they stare at the giant mansion in awe and carrying a giant aluminum bat over his shoulder) I'm sorry I have to do this you guys, but it's for the best. (Is ready to whack them over the head)
Voices: STOP RIGHT THERE EVIL DOER!
BIG_DADDY: (Without turning around) Who the bloody hell are you three?!
Figure 1: Wherever there is evil
Figure 2: Good shall always triumph
Figure 3: Because we said so!
Gunlord: (Diverts his attention from the mansion) Voices!
Thunderchaos: But whose were they?
As if on cue three figures suddenly wearing dorky costumes appear from out of nowhere and strike goofy poses enough to make you roll around on the floor in laughter or just do a major sweat drop. Both are good.
Gohan: I! The Great Saiyaman!
Cooler: *Is that even a word?*
Videl: The Great Saiyagirl!
Thunderchaos: *Why a Saiyan related name? Why?*
Pan: And me the one and only Great Saiyadaughter!
Gunlord: *Does the circumference of a scalpel equal half the base times pie to equal the number of square units in a kilometer? Or does the area of a banana peel cover enough sufficient area to conjoin the brains of the morons into one? Hell if I know.*
BIG_DADDY: So… have you guys finished oogling over the size of the area of the height of the house?
Gohan: Hey! Don't ignore us!
Gunlord: Yes. It gets boring after a while.
Videl: Are you even only listening to a portion of our speech?
Cooler: Well, there must be some way we can get in there.
Thunderchaos: (Looks towards the three) Great Lord almighty! Where did you three come from?
All 3: (Fall over then get up and brush themselves off)
BIG_DADDY: Well, if you had told us you were there Thunderchaos wouldn't have asked and you wouldn't have fallen over.
Gohan: But… we did tell you that we were here.
BIG_DADDY: …..What the hell are you talking about?
Videl: Just answer this. Why are you in front of my house about to bash three people over the head with an aluminum baseball bat?
BIG_DADDY: Uh…. Hey! Is that a robbery over there! (Points behind them)
Gohan: (Turns around with the others) Where? I don't see- (Is suddenly knocked out cold along with Videl and Pan by BIG_DADDY's aluminum baseball bat)
Cooler: Thank you!
Thunderchaos: There's no time left. Any minute now the crowd could erupt into a frenzy!...that would be so awesome!
Gunlord: Let's just hurry up and find the keys to the house. (Begins searching through their pockets)
BIG_DADDY: (Searching and finds the keys) Got `em. (Opens the door and runs in but trips over the carpet and falls flat on his face. Gunlord, Cooler, and Thunderchaos all walk in and on top of him. They look around to find layer after layer of level to the building)
Gunlord: ….This is gonna take a while. (They all quickly begin opening and closing doors)
Back at the stadium
Jed: How long is going to take them? (Pulls out a shotgun and blows the head off of a demon that just threw a can at him)
Sailor Dark: (Watches Jed shoot the demon) Meh, got nothing better to do. (Jumps into the air and sends some demons to the shadow realm using her shadow powers)
Rach-Chan and Rachel look at each other.
Rach-Chan: Eh, might as well. (Loads a machine gun and fires upon the demons)
Rachel: (Pulls out some katanas and rushes into the crowd)
Lyona: (Follows with a frying pan while Porunga sprouts wings and claws and joins the fray)
Back at the mansion
BIG_DADDY, Cooler, Gunlord and Thunderchaos have finished searching through seemingly endless amount of rooms.
Gunlord: *huff* Anyone *huff* find something? *huff*
Thunderchaos: Well I did *huff* find the kitchen.
Cooler: I found a wad of cash on the floor in the basement on top of a box of crates.
BIG_DADDY: I found a photograph of Hercule. (Drops it on the floor and smashes it)
Cooler: Well, what do we do now?
Gunlord: Let's see. We've searched nearly 50+ rooms, 20 of them being guest rooms, plus 10 training gyms, 5 bathrooms, the kitchen… if my guess is correct then Hercule should be right around here. (Pulls open a door that of Hercule flexing before a mirror)
Hercule: (Turns to see Gunlord, BIG_DADDY, Thunderchaos, and Cooler standing in the doorway) What? How the heck did you guys get down here into my underground training facility?
BIG_DADDY: Whoa! We're underground?
Cooler: We were so busy searching the many levels of your house we forgot to keep track of what floor we were on.
Hercule: But how did you get past my security?
They are all puzzled.
Thunderchaos: …………………………̷ 0;……………….
Hercule: (Sighs) All right, what's the deal?
Gohan: And why did I just black out all of a sudden?
BIG_DADDY: (As if he was just hit over the head with a chair he turns around and eyes a very annoyed Gohan, Videl and Pan then turns to the others) If you guys need me I will be outside. (Runs like hell out of the mansion)
Gunlord: Oh man. I feel sorry for him.
Gohan: -_-` Is anyone going to answer my question?
Cooler: Give us one good reason why we should.
Gohan: Oh bloody hell! All right, then riddle me this Batman, who was the perpetrator that knocked us all upside the head with what appears to be a metal bat? (Holds up a metal bat)
Thunderchaos: (Scratches head) I think I've seen that bat from somewhere before.
Gohan: Yeah…it once belonged to Yamcha. He won 3 games with… WAIT! Why am I explaining this to you?!
Gunlord: You tell me! You're the one who brought up the subject with the bat!
Hercule: Am I missing something?
Thunderchaos: Who are you people?
Pan: I'm confused!
Gunlord: RANDOM!!! (Rips apart a stuffed monkey and eats the stuffing inside inflating him like a balloon and then spits it back out in the form of an escalator and attaches it to the second floor)
Hercule: …Why is there an escalator in my home that's attached to the second floor?
Gunlord: So I can do this! (Runs up the escalator and then tries to run back down but forgot to install an escalator that goes downwards so he runs keeps running faster than before and suddenly the stairs transform into a rug that Gunlord slips on and rolls down the escalator slamming into a wall and burying him alive in his pornography collection)
Videl: …This is all so weird and complicated.
BIG_DADDY: (Suddenly appears from out of nowhere back in the room) Well, to make things short, there's a tournament that my friend is holding called a Dark Tournament. Currently we're trying to get out half-time show running but we need Hercule in order to make it happen.
Hercule: Really? (Rubs his chin) And what do I get in return for working for someone like you?
BIG_DADDY: Um…. (Rummages around in his pockets and pulls out 4 tickets and hands them to Gohan, Videl, Pan and Hercule) Free tickets to the Dark Tournament! Front row seating might I add.
Gohan: Hm… I don't know. I've heard that it can be pretty a bloody tournament.
BIG_DADDY: (Acting surprised) Why of course not! My friend would never hold such a tournament! You have my word on it.
Gohan: But if see anything, anyone or anything related to anyone or any form of graphic, gory, or unusual forms of death or entertainment I will see to it that you meet a most untimely death at my own two hands.
Thunderchaos: Deep words... but we must get going now.
Cooler: But how are we going to get back in time before the crowd goes into a riot?
As if on queue Gunlord springs back to life in a discombobulated pose that resembles something of Mr. Hyde.
Gunlord: FEAR NOT MORTAL SEA MONKEYS!!! I HAVE DEVISED A PLAN SO UTTERLY BEYOND THE HUMAN IMAGINATION THAT MY HEAD WOULD EXPLODE IF I EVEN BEGAN TO KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING!!!
BIG_DADDY: Just do it already.
Gunlord: VERY WELL THEN!!! RANDOM!!!!!! (Flips a coin and it lands on its side and creates a giant fissure in the ground. Then he pulls out a rubber ducky and throws it in) FOLLOW THE PURPLE CHICKEN!!! (Dive head first into the crack in the ground. Everyone stares but follows anyway)
Back at the stadium
Demon 3721: (Standing in front of a giant crowd of demons with anti-Dragonblade signs) What do we want?
Demons: Immediate reliability for grueling, obscene and abnormal forms of entertainment at reasonable break times between matches!
Demon 3721: When do we want it?
Lyona: Oh no! How are we going to stop this crowd of demons from rioting?
Demon 6298: Hey! We forgot to riot a while back!
Demon 812: Oh well, let's just pick a random number to count and go by increments of 5.72!
Sailor Dark: …Are they really that moronic?
Jorgen: (Checks watch) I grow weary of waiting. Bring forth the puny mortal daring to challenge my awesome power of beefy-ness or I shall be forced to join this rebellious gang of rowdy demons and sentence all who oppose us to the deepest briny pits of the under world where their flesh may scald and burn for all eternity!! (Rips off his GI uniform and flexes causing absurdly large triceps, biceps and abs to bulge out)
Demon 2934: All right. I declare we count by the number 29.501!
Demons: 29.501, 23.781, 18.061, 12.341, 6.621, 0.901……….
Porunga: Oh no! It's the end!
Dragonblade: (Bares his fangs and claws)
In a split second everything suddenly pauses. Then the ground breaks up creating a fissure and it shoots out a brilliant light. Then Gunlord, BIG_DADDY, Thunderchaos, Cooler, Hercule, Gohan, Videl and Pan and are thrown through a glass window and into the arena except for Gunlord and Cooler who where thrown out with less force and fall to the stands.
Gunlord: BEHOLD! WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE SACRED MONKEY CHAMBER OF TIMBUKTU!
Cooler: Um… wouldn't it have been easier to go through the crack in the ground?
GUNLORD: YES!! BUT THIS WAY WAS MUCH MORE ELABORATE!! (Falls into a coma and snores soap bubble through his nose)
Cooler: o_O Yeah…
BIG_DADDY: (Picks him self up with the others and brushes himself off) Well that could have gone better.
Thunderchaos: What?! What could have been better than a ride through a vortex back to the time of the molemen?
BIG_DADDY: …You have a huge point!!
Dragonblade: (Retracts his claws and fangs and resumes his human form) Demons of all sorts! I apologize for the terribly long wait. From this point forward I will try to find more suitable battle arrangements!
Jed: My ass you will.
Dragonblade: (Picks him up by his collar and kicks him into the stands) To reward you all for your patience (someone coughs and they are instantly incinerated by his fire breath) I shall reward you with another battle: HERCULE THE MARTIAL ARTS CHAMPION (another cough is heard but Dragonblade does nothing about it) VS THE ALL POWERFUL, ALL MIGHTY, ALL BEEFY, JORGEN VON STRANGLE!!
Demons: (Go wild and scramble back to their seats trampling Gunlord, Jed and Cooler in the process)
Dragonblade: So don't touch dial! We'll be right back after this short break!
Gohan: ..But my question still hasn't been answered. (Sighs and takes a seat in the front row)
Yu Yu Hakusho announcer: The combatants have finally arrived and now the half-time show can begin. First up is Hercule, the Martial Arts Champion of the world vs. Jorgen, the overseer of Fairy world and dictator of war. Who will emerge victorious of these two? Will Hercule be revealed for the fraud that he is? Find out when we return!