Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Come Clean ❯ Headstrong ( Chapter 4 )

Kenti walked through the Makai forest. It was filled with low class demons, which is what he wanted, he needed something to take his mind off of everything, and he needed some training. A white scarf was tied loosely around his eyes, he was walking blind. But not by any choice of his own.

~~Circling your head

Contemplating everything you ever said~~

He had to rely on his hearing now, because the deep chocolate of his eyes was sealed away. Maybe forever, his vision was blurred now; he'd been bleeding from his eyes for about two days. Pain did that to you sometimes, his mind couldn't take the stress of the mental images that seemed implanted in it. He'd never been emotionally secure, but he was raped and…well….that didn't help at all. He could always hear a voice deep in his head; it never stopped talking to him. Telling him things, torturing him with just words. Simple words…with darker meanings.

~~Now I see the truth I got a doubt,

A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out

See you later~~

Kenti stopped in a clearing, he could hear something large drawing closer, then a greater number. Suddenly the ice/earth mixed demon was surrounded by a large group of demons. They charged at him, he gracefully jumped into the air and threw ice daggers down, killing many of them, when he landed just outside the group they turned and charged at him again. He began taking them out with hand to hand combat, also a mix of skilled kicks.

~~I see your fantasy

You want to make it a reality paved in gold~~

While he was fighting he wasn't paying any attention to his movements, his body just reacted with self defense. Why couldn't he defend himself before he was raped? He could have killed the bastard. He knew it could. Just focus. But that wasn't the problem, strength and strategy wasn't the issue. It was the fact that he was fighting a bastard…in his lovers body…and that…he couldn't take…

~~See inside, inside of our heads yeah

Well now that's over

I see your motives inside, decisions to hide~~

Kenti was about halfway through the large group of demons, still lose in thought, he couldn't see anything with the blind-fold. He could hear the demons; he could also pick up their scents. But the battle wasn't his focus, thought it would look like it to someone who happened to walk by. It would look like he was really focused, planning each move quickly and precisely, but he wasn't. He was still lost in thought. He hoped he wouldn't get a painful flash right in the middle of this. He didn't need it most defiantly. They gave him excruciating headaches that didn't wear off easily and caused his eyes to bleed. But only he and his brother really knew about his eyes bleeding.

~~Back off I'll take you on

Headstrong to take on anyone

I know that you are wrong

Head strong

We're head strong

Back off I'll take you on

Head strong to take on anyone

I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong~~

He shouldn't have stuck around; maybe if he hadn't fallen in love he wouldn't be like this. His eyes, the eyes he was so proud of and he knew one person always loved to see, wouldn't be sealed behind this cloth, maybe forever. He wouldn't have these painful images, maybe if something in his life went right this wouldn't have happened either. If Kumo hadn't come here. If Tamu hadn't absorbed that gem. Kenti almost froze…

~~I can't give everything away

I won't give everything away~~

`Tamu…' he thought.

~~Conclusions manifest

Your first impressions got to be your very best~~

`No, no, no, no, no' Was all Kenti could think. He wasn't going to even think Tamu had done it. He hadn't. It wasn't Tamu. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. He looked like Tamu, just like Tamu, but it was not Tamu. He had to focus on the major physical appearance, the eyes, those eyes were not Tamu's. Tamu wouldn't have eyes like that, besides the color, Tamu's eyes weren't like that. Rikunin's eyes were like that. They were Rikunin's eyes. Damnit…it shouldn't have been this hard to believe. First impressions ya' know? Gotta make sure it sticks…Rikunin does one hell of a job…

~~I see you're full of shit and that's all right

That's how you play I guess

You get through every night~~

When the last demon fell, Kenti's back was to the way he had come from, his icy blue hair, usually in a braid, fell to his waist in a loose pony-tail done at his neck. He wore baggy clothes. Which he never did, they sort of made him feel better, he'd loved tight clothes. Once upon a time. He loved to show off his body, he was gay and proud and wanted to show how nice he looked in a pair of tight jeans damnit. But now, he just didn't want to be touched, looked at, everything he loved before seemed to bother him now. Rikunin hurt him, physically, emotionally, even mentally. He wanted it to be over, he wanted the memories to stop. The voices to shut up, the pictures to stop coming and the pain to end. But…they wouldn't….

~~Well now that's over

I see your fantasy

You want to make it a reality paved in gold~~

He knew Rikunin wasn't happy with him. He also knew that mental seal in Tamu wouldn't hold. Rikunin would get out…and he'd probably come after Kenti again, it terrified him. Kenti swallowed hard, a solid lump in his throat and it hurt to swallow. Hot tears formed in his eyes, actually, they were cool, he was, an ice demon after all. He was terrified, and the one person that made him feel safe he couldn't have because the bad was in the person that made him feel safe. They always said run to your loved ones when you see a monster, where do you do when your loved one is the monster?

~~ See inside, inside of our heads yeah

Well now that's over

I see your motives inside, decisions to hide~~

Maybe if Kenti hadn't gone after Tamu. No. That wouldn't have worked, Rikunin saw what Tamu did, he was probably in danger anyways. This was all lose lose. But, he didn't want to let go. He didn't want to let Tamu go. He wanted to stay with Tamu, no matter what, he'd always believed in love, I guess this was a test. It was hard. But he'd face it just like he faced everything, fighting, head strong, and surviving just like he always had.

~~ Back off I'll take you on

Headstrong to take on anyone

I know that you are wrong

Head strong

We're head strong

Back off I'll take you on

Head strong to take on anyone

I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong~~

He couldn't get Rikunin out now, it'd kill Tamu. He couldn't do that, but could he bare with it? He didn't know. He really didn't know. He was afraid, terrified, those green eyes were bright in his mind, and if he thought about it he could see the face, Rikunin's face, smirking talking to him. Saying all those things. Then it hit him. Hard. Like someone set a bomb off in his mind and he collapse holding his head, blood flowed from his eyes as pain soared through his head, non-stop, giving him no brake. Kenti cried, he cried hard and fast, and he cried blood. But he wasn't going to give up, he wasn't going to let Rikunin's memory or Rikunin take everything from him. Kenti had felt like he didn't belong here, but it was Rikunin who didn't belong.

"I won't let him take Tamu from me. I won't. I won't. I won't!" Kenti yelled to the air.

~~ I can't give everything away

I won't give everything away~~

More bloody tears soaked into the wrap around his eyes as the pain increased, as if the voice in his head was just getting madder at him for even trying to resist it. But Kenti wouldn't give up, even if it killed him. He didn't want to lose. He wouldn't.

~~I know

I know all about

I know all about

I know all about your motives inside, and your decision to hide~~

The pulsing pain in his head stopped and Kenti began to fall forwards, he reached out his hands and put them in the wet grass. The thick stench of demon blood filled his nose and he could feel it on his hands. It made him sick, and the pain lingered, very slowly fading and dying. He began to work his way to his feet, trying hard to stand steady, he stumbled over to a tree and stopped to lean against it, breathing hard. The scarf clung to his nose with the blood that had leaked from his eyes. He lifted away the scarf to rub away the drying blood.

~~Back off I'll take you on

Headstrong to take on anyone

I know that you are wrong

Head strong

We're head strong

Back off I'll take you on

Head strong to take on anyone

I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong~~

The image of Rikunin began to fade, slowly, but it was.

~~ I can't give everything away

I won't give everything away~~

And it was soon replaced, by a picture of Tamu. Kenti turned to walk home, leaving his personal battle field behind.

What do you do, when the one you love, is the monster?

Maybe you'll beat the monster, someday, maybe you won't.

What do you do, when you can't run to that safe place, because the monster's there too?

You run anyways.

Kenti ran.

Home.

To his loved one.

To his monster.

To his issues.

To where he was happy.

Kenti ran.

To Tamu.