Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Never say: It can't get any worse ❯ Bladder Problems ( Chapter 5 )

Sesshomaru let out a small sigh when the first meeting ended, well one down nine more to go. Thanks the gods! The meeting had been excruciatingly long especially with Lord Michael of the Northern Lands in France ranting on and on about how bad humans were and how youkai should get rid of them. He was flexing his claws, getting ready to pounce and cut off the lord's head when Lady Gwenllyn, Michael's wife, said to him 'Shut the hell up! The others here are just about ready to kill you!!'. It was nice for the taiyoukai to know that no one would've minded if he had sliced the youkai's head off.

"Sesshomaru-sama." The said lord looked down to see a nervous looking female lion youkai.

"Yes?"

"Went I to nur. . . nurser - ey. Find I kids not." She said in his tongue with a bit difficulty. She definitely sounded Spanish. "Looks I kids in palace for find kids not.

"I suppose you're worried about your kid and want me to look for him or her?" He said in Spanish.

She gave a pained smile then replied in Spanish, "I'm not worried about my Lynus. I'm more worried about the girl."

Sesshomaru nodded then walked away sniffing for Kagome's scent. It lead to the river surrounding the palace where he found his hanyou brother and Kouga in fighting stances. The taiyoukai sighed, his duty was never done. He walked up to them saying, "No fighting while the meeting progresses." He stopped before them. When the two didn't back down he added, "Don't make me get Saro."

That seemed to get them to penetrate their think skulls right away. The two relaxed and just stood glaring. Inu Yasha was the first to look away and meet his half brother's eyes, "What do you want?" he snapped irritably.

"I'm looking for the same person I assume you both are looking for. Kagome. Am I right?" They nodded. "Good. We can look together. That way there is a lesser chance of you two killing each other while the meeting has elapsed." He said stoically. The other two reluctantly agreed but found they had little choice in the matter seeing as they both wouldn't be able to shake off the stoic taiyoukai.

Sesshomaru and Inu Yasha walked along one river bank while Kouga walked on the other one sniffing for the elusive girl's scent. But to they had a hard time seeing as Kagome could've been tied to a flat board set into the river then sent downstream (That's the direction the stream goes toward the ocean right?). Sounded improbable? Well that is what Sesshomaru did at the last meeting when he was kid. Heh. But that's another story.

Inu Yasha started to get anxious when they hadn't found Kagome. He couldn't lose her again. He might not be so lucky this time around, he might not see her again. Maybe never. That's what he was always secretly afraid of whenever she went up and down the well - that maybe one day the well wouldn't work again and that she'd be lost to him for eternity well for at least five hundred years and some odd years anyway. Yet he still couldn't imagine living those dreary centuries without that heart-warming smile, those soft black orbs which contained the essence of the night sky filled with twinkling stars. The far away look she sometimes got when she looked out at the stars as if she knew something he didn't, her tinkling laughter, her forgiving nature, her acceptance of him not as a halfling demon but as person, as a man. Kouga was having similar thoughts.

"We will find her little brother." Sesshomaru said when he smelt the hanyou's anxiety. Though he too was worried about the little miko and her troupe of children. What if the children did something to her? Something worse because she was human? The trio circled the river/moat surrounding palace once more before they headed back to the palace to see if she had already returned.

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I prowled around the halls of the palace silently spying on various individuals to see if I could find any information on the whereabouts of the Black Eternity Necklace. Hiei was doing so also, Yusuke and Kuwabara had yet to get anything at all on the necklace's whereabouts. Knowing them they most likely screwed up and now the one whom is in possession of that particular item is hiding it. Such is life. I had just landed on the floor of the hall near the kitchens when I smelt it. That delicious aromatic smell of sweet sweets . . . . . of melted chocolate . . . . . of freshly baked goodies children beg their mothers to have a small morsel of before dinner. . . . . yummies . . . . .

{Foooooood. . . . . Hungry. . . } I thought and promptly slapped myself. I couldn't get carried away just because of some delicious smelling treats wafting from the kitchen . . . . .

[We don't have to eat anything or be distracted.] Suuichi insisted. [We could just . . . . . check it out. Maybe there could be some info on the necklace in the kitchens.] He suggested.

I nodded. {Of course! Why didn't I think of that! If there were any more a inconspicuous place to put food - I mean the necklace. Then it would be in the kitchen!} I reasoned, I think Suuichi scoffed at me. Oh well. And with that said - thought - I stealthily entered the cooking area and was surprised to Rain, two other human adults, Rin and a assemblage of children making the sweet treats I'd smelt from the halls. The children were decorating sweets with icing, melted chocolate, coconut shavings and etc. What surprised me even more was that one of the two humans was a male monk and the other a demon exterminator from the looks of their clothing. It was easier to determine what the demon exterminator was from the huge boomerang made of demon bone. The rumours were true after all! Atsume or Kagome was instructing two children dressed in . . . . . jeans short shorts, white rubber shoes and a black sleeveless turtle neck?!

Atsume looked up meeting my eyes, brown as mahogany and sweet as chocolate. Mahogany. Isn't that such a cool word? Ma-ho-gan-E. It always sounded so . . . . . ishy. Don't give me that look! Haven't you ever made up a word to express or describe something beyond mere existent words? I happen to know that Yusuke's word is jabang . . . . . You see how much worse that is compared to my word? Back to the topic at hand here! So what if my word happens to be ishy? (As a matter of fact I stole that word from this girl I once knew . . . . . Amethyst Defafaeth was it? Anyway she was a strange kid, always giving me a weird look - as if she knew I was in Suuichi. I believe her nickname back in middle school was 'boy-beater'. You're welcome to guess why.) Where would society be without those great made up words such as thingamabob, doohickey, thingy, thingamajigy, and widget? Why we would probably have to come up with a word for every thingamajigger made! Every gadget, jigger, doodad and the all-important dingus would have to be named every time one was built. Automatically making dictionaries everywhere in the world obsoleteeverytensecondsthenthosesamegizmoswouldprobablyexploderightafter theywerenamedandwouldhavetobeerasedfromthedictionaryagaincausingworldwid echaosandpanicbecausepeoplewon'tevenknowwhataschnitzelisBECAUSEITEXPLODE DANDNOTINTHEBLOODYDICTIONARY!!!!! (Suuichi here. Sorry about that. Youko gets reeaally worked up when it comes to words . . . . that technically is an understatement but . . . . U_U I kinda traumatised him once before by - Whoops I'm not allowed to say.)

Atsume straightened up and walked over to me then bowed low. "Hey Silver." The miko said cheerfully when we were standing face to face again. Well in truth it was more like face to chest. "Want some melted chocolate coconut sprinkled sugary animal mini cakes?" she asked holding out a tray full of the mini cakes.

I looked at the tempting morsels just barely containing my drool (They looked that good!) and without a thought I reached for a handful. Then I plopped them into my mouth chewing them slowly as I savoured the luscious saccharine delights. [Yum.] Suuichi stated with a sigh. For once we agreed.

"Delicious." I exclaimed as I reached for more.

As my hand reached the tray full of those scrumptious goodies Kagome pulled the tray away saying, "Nuh uh uh! You aren't allowed to have anymore! Not only is it fattening but we're making a whole batch for the other guests." She placed the tray on a counter.

"Kagome. Who is that?" The taijiya asked looking up from the coconut meat that she was shredding, the monk looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"Ooops. Sorry." The miko said apologetically. "Silver, the monk over there is Miroku and the taijiya over there is Sango. Sango and Miroku, Lord Youko of the Northern lands in Makai aka Silver." The two humans bowed respectfully before returning to what they were doing before though they kept looking at me out of the corner of their eyes. "Sango and Miroku are two of my best friends, we've known each other for a long time and - "

An indignant mew interrupted her in mid sentence. Kagome looked down with an apologetic smile then picked up fire cat? "Oh! Whoops. How could I forget!" Atsume exclaimed. "Kirara the fire cat, Lord Youko or the Northern lands in Makai aka Silver. Silver, Kirara. Wave to the nice kitsune." Kagome coaxed. I nearly smiled at that comment. Nice kitsune? Me? Pah!

The cat sniffed me experimentally. Then raised a paw in what I supposed was an attempt at a wave. I extended my own hand and shook the raised pad, "Hello Kirara." I said formally. "How'd you know I was Youko?" I queried.

"Simple. I asked your personal manservant, Kuwabara was it? He told me a lot about you." Atsume lowered her voice so that only me (Thankfully!) was the only one to hear her next words, "It's okay Silver. There are lots of people out there with bladder problems." I froze in shock, my tail that was swishing merrily seconds ago suddenly froze into an immobile statue. Bladder problems!?!? "One of the best ways to avoid wetting your bed though would be to wear a diaper of some sort. Not only is that hygienic but you also wouldn't need that necklace that you're looking for. It's better to solve your problems without the use of objects that can be not so easily taken such as a necklace." She whispered. "As for Hiei I think that since he's having constant constipation complications he should really just see a healer. That would be preferable. I guess now I know why he's so grumpy looking all the time."

My left eye was twitching. To say I was pissed off beyond hell enough that if I saw Kuwabara again I would horribly torture him just to hear his blood-curdling scream would be just the BIGGEST understatement in the whole history of Earth! BLADDER PROBLEMS?! Kuwabara. Dead. Kill. Oh! WHY ME?!?!?!?! BLADDER PROBLEMS?!?!?!? I should've been mean and just taken Yusuke for my servant. BLADDER PROBLEMS!?!?!?! Bad skin problems I would've understood. A rare genetic disease that would someday kill me okay go ahead tell the whole bloody world!!! ButBLADDER PROBLEMS?!?!?!?!? (And yes I know I'm totally ignoring Hiei's problems but I have worse things to think of!)

"Heh. Can we keep this between us two for now? Please?" I begged. Normally I wouldn't beg but you would too!

Atsume gave me one of her heart warming genuine smiles. Like the one she gave me at the beach. Wow. I think my heart is beating again. Weird. "Of course." She says patting my arm gently. Which kinda relaxes me a bit. "Here take this batch. The kids made them. Give some to Hiei-sama for me k?" she says handing me nice full handkerchief goodies. The miko turned around and went over to her taijiya and started helping.

I smiled to myself feeling contented until I reverted back to my 'kill-Kuwabara-but-horribly-but-torture-him-first' mode. Heh. He is SO dead. Especially when Hiei finds out . . .

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Sesshomaru, Kouga and Inu Yasha returned to the palace and automatically smelled the sweet yet faint smell wafting from the kitchens. The trio of demons did what any canine smelling something good would do. Follow the scent. Sesshomaru stopped short however when he saw the kitchen staff lazing around in a room, inadvertently allowing the other two to gain a head start.

The kitchen staff were a bunch of hairless water youkai. No hair on them at all. Gee I wonder why? When the head cook finally noticed the silent taiyoukai at the door she stood up and bowed in front of the inu youkai. "Ah Sesshomaru. You come to Yuni's room why?" She asked in garbled Japanese. Yuni was four feet ten inches tall. No hair, blue wrinkly skin, green slanted eyes. She wore a white kimono and a light blue obi.

"I smelled something from the kitchen. Did you make anything?" he asked. Ever since his mother had died he hid in the kitchens surrounded by kitchen staff watching and asking many question about how things were prepared. Pretty soon Yuni became something like a grandmother to him and the kitchen staff were like a extended family. She was always listening to his stories, advising him, making him treats and getting him laugh which was pretty rare.

Yuni laughed, "Not I. Kagome-sama, Miroku-sama and Sango-sama. Good with children she be. Respect her they do, too she be lovely singer. Teaches children she how to bake. Smell good things I do. You go to kitchen bring back to me some baking. Go, go." She said gently propelling the demon toward the cooking facilities.

The taiyoukai obeyed, following the aromatic scent to the kitchens. When he got there he found his half brother and Kouga munching on a bunch of sugary confectioneries surrounded by squealing children begging for them to taste their treats. But no exterminator, monk or miko in sight.

"Inu Yasha-sama! Try mine!"

"No! Mine are WAY better!"

"Shove over! He's tasting MINE!"

"Kouga-sama! Kouga-sama! PLEASE try mine! They're good!"

"Go away! I was serving him first!"

"Nu uh! The ones I made are better! Try them!"

"NO TRY MINE!!!"

Sesshomaru nearly smiled as the two readily snatched the sugary sweets happily munching on them they looked like children. Especially Inu Yasha. He remembered how his half-brother used to follow him around trying to spy on him quietly though he always knew he was back there. Yes. Way back when, when things were more or less good. Hell he was even fond of the halfling one point in his life. A small tugging on his pants leg drew his gaze to a certain black haired little angel who was holding out some good looking and smelling chocolate brownies sprinkled with some coconut shavings.

"Try them Sesshomaru-sama! They're really good! Kagome helped me with these!" Rin insisted with a grin.

How could Sesshomaru resist such a cute perky smile? Well he didn't. He bent down, took a brownie and after sniffing it he bit down closing eyes. The taiyoukai's eyes snapped open, it was good! He popped the rest into his mouth then bent down to take some more. Tasted just like a bit of heaven. All soft and chewy. Chocolatey and gooey . . . . .

"Sesshomaru-sama! Ohh! Try mine!" The annoying kit as Sesshomaru described him was holding out a plate of cookies with melted chocolate dribbled heavily on them. The demon couldn't help but take a few and eat them. Pretty soon some others began catering to Sesshomaru as well.

"Kids!" An exasperated voice called. The group looked at the doorway to see Kagome with her hands on her hips mock glaring at the children. "We're making this for everyone here not just privately catering to these three free loaders." She said with sigh. The miko came in and snatched away all the treats the adults had in their hands. "Come on. All you kids put the food on the carts!"

Sesshomaru's face was unreadable but inside he looked mournfully at the lost food being led away by little minis. Inu Yasha and Kouga openly displayed their disappointment at the loss of the tasty treats.

"Can't I just have ONE more Kagome? Please!?"

"Yeah! I promised that I'll let you put prayer beads on me without struggling!"

"I'll give you the jewel shards in my leg and arm!"

"I'll . . . . . I'll . . . . . uh . . . I'll let you go home whenever you want without complaint!!"

The two bickered on back and forth trying to barter for the delicious treats. Kagome sighed shaking her head. Sango rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You might as well just give them some otherwise they'll never leave us alone."

Miroku nodded in agreement. "I agree we should give them a some and soon. They look like they may just eat each other up - and that surely would greatly disturb the children for life."

"Or worse. They might just copy them."

"True Lady Sango. In Lady Kagome's words 'monkey see monkey do'."

Kagome chuckled before getting out three handkerchiefs and placing an equal amount of treats in them. She gave one to Sesshomaru, then one each to her 'suitors' after she broke up their shouting match then shoved them all out of the room and sliding the door closed.

Sesshomaru walked off silently toward his room, Kouga raced toward his and Inu Yasha bounded up toward the highest palace tower.

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~ In The Forest ~

Hiei looked closely at the brownie and sniffed at it. He took popped it into his mouth then took another one. /I can tell that you've done a lot of searching. / He mentally thought to his partner as he hung upside down from a branch above.

Kurama smiled sheepishly as his tail swished guilty. {I may not have found out anything about the necklace, but I found out something important to us.} He growled. He suddenly stood up on his branch with a menacing growl.

The fire apparition raised an eyebrow. He took a cookie from the handkerchief and silently nibbled on it.

{Kuwabara told Atsume that I was looking for the necklace - }

The koorime nearly dropped his cookie. [That idiot! He isn't - ]

{Wait! I haven't got to the BEST part yet!}

[Hn.] He popped the rest of the cookie into his mouth so he wouldn't drop it.

{Where was I? Oh yeah. He told Kagome that I was looking for the necklace because I had . . . . . bladder problems.}

[. . . . . . . . ] Hiei snickered.

Kurama grinned maliciously. {But that was just the appetiser! He's been spreading around that you have . . . . . heh heh . . . . . listen to this . . . CONSTANT CONSTIPATION COMPLICATIONS! Hey . . . alliteration. . Cool. . . So what are you gonna . . . . . do?} Hiei was gone. Kurama laughed evilly. Kuwabara was gonna get it now!

Satisfied the silver kitusne sat down, laid back down on his branch and reached for a nice victory brownie. Only to discover the handkerchief with the food was gone. The kitusne stood up and looked wildly around to see if he had accidentally fallen or if it fell while Hiei took off. Then it dawned upon him.

Hiei took it!

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PREVIOUS CHAPTER WAS REVISED! ONE important thing to know if you're too lazy to reread since the changes were very subtle and indistinguishable. Not all the youkai there understand one another, which is why they have translators! Yes that is important to the story, not telling why. You'll just have to wait and see. ^^

Another thing. Last chapter when I was doing first person POVs, the one with Youko/Suuchi POV - It was really Kurama's POV. Let me explain. Whichever body he is in determines which personality takes over. If he turns into his demonic form then Youko takes over, if human then Suuichi. But then there are times when Youko and Suuichi are at peace with each other and they're just Kurama. Weird I know. If you're still confused then mail me. Oh and Sorry about making Sesshomaru all out of character *sweat drops* My bad. I'll try to make him more in character.

To Chel: No, I am not plagiarising and/or copying this off from another authour because we are one and the same. I post at mediaminer.org (Amethyst) and fanfiction.net (Defafaeth_Mechqua) ^^ I hope that cleared that up. And no I don't really spell or grammar check because I'm really anxious for people to read and review. XD Most frequently asked question: What are the pairings?

Response: Now where is the surprise in the story if I tell? If I did tell this story would be very predictable and quickly become dull. Not that all stories that tell the pairings is like that, it's just that if I did that to this story, it would quickly become dull because you would be able to guess how most things would go. Sorry about having to keep tight-lipped about that but thanks for asking anyway. And yes there is gong to be a Sango pairing, but the question is - who is she going to be with? Dun dun dun DUN! ^^

Another another thing! I didn't spell colour wrong! Canadian spelling of words such as behaviour, neighbour, labour, colour, favour, saviour and etc. have the extra 'u's. American spelling doesn't have the extra 'u's. Plagiarising, traumatised and etc. are spelled with an 's' NOT a 'z'. Because I AM CANADIAN!!! (Don't mind that I was just watching this I Am Canadian beer commercial. Funny thing is an American made the slogan and the beer company is American too, I think. 0_o)

Last but not least a little shout out to Selena for giving me ideas and being Shippo. Inside Joke. *wink* *wink*

Sorry y'all this was a bit shorter than I intended but I decided that I should just update seeing as I haven't for a long while.

CHAPTER WAS REVISED ON: 01/10/2004