Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Somebody shoot me!! ❯ A talking head ( Chapter 2 )

Naraku smiled, "I can think of better things to do with you than shoot you, my dear." He said suggestively.

Kurama stepped up beside Kagome and helped her to her feet. "Enough Naraku." He said dryly. "It's not the greatest of times to be flirting."

Naraku shrugged. "Very Well." He said easily.

Kurama sat the miko down on an armchair ignoring the warning growls of the miko's two suitors. "Do you need an aspirin?" he asked kindly.

Kagome shook her head. [You want her.] Yokou observed amused.

'I do not!' Suuichi protested.

[Yeah and I'm a bubble bee.] The kitsune said sarcastically. [You obviously want her. Stop denying it. I'm you I know you better than you know yourself.]

'Shut it both of you! Or I'll make you sorry!!' Kurama mentally growled.

Yokou stuck out his tongue. [How are you going to do that?! I'm you!]

Kurama sighed inwardly. 'I warned you.' He thought back before sticking the silver kitsune into a mental black box with a satisfied smirk.

[Jackass!!!] Yokou cried struggling to get free.

Kagome looked at Kurama with an odd look - like amusement. She turned her laugh into a cough. Kagome couldn't read minds, no, you see what she could do was overhear a person when they think too loudly. Furthermore Yokou and Kurama weren't exactly chatting pleasantly. . . . . She didn't find out she could hear people when they think to loudly until a week before, at first she was confused - she didn't tell anyone, not even Kaede. Then she stumbled upon one of her grandpa's books called 'Three Types Of Mind Readers' where she found out she was the type of mind reader that overheard. Meaning she couldn't read other people's minds directly, like reading a book nor could she see deep secrets but she could overhear people's thoughts when they thought too loudly. Thinking too loudly is like shouting, only mentally.

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The new girl didn't seem very strong - but then again neither do I until, that is, I kick someone's ass. Why is the girl staring at me?

"You have a Jagan eye." She said tilting her head to the side.

I blinked in surprise. How the hell did she know that? I disappeared then reappeared before her. "Are you a mind reader?"

The girl - Kagome was it? - smiled dryly. She got up and I moved aside, she went to over to her yellow bag and rummaged through it. Then she pulled out a book and a brown box, she threw the book at me and I caught it, of course. I looked at the title and raised an eyebrow.

"What does it say?" Yusuke asked.

I felt my lip twitch when I saw the title of the book, "How to find out if your boy friend has a Jagan eye." I looked up again to see Kagome reach into the box and pull out a . . . . mummified head?!

"The head has a Jagan eye . . . . I was going to feed it to Buyo but I arrived in the wrong time." She said dryly. She held it up for my inspection. Its skin was green and terribly wrinkled, all three eyes were closed, its few strands of its hair was white, and its mouth was open showing off its yellow crooked teeth. I was almost certain it was just another fake I'd seen a million times - that was until it started talking.

Its two normal eyes flashed open. "You sure are short." It said in a hoarse voice. I involuntarily took a step back as Kagome dropped with a yelp. "Hey! You better be careful of your elders Kagome!"

We all stared at it. Kagome swallowed hard then took a step forward, "Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees and hears a talking head down there." She said.

"We all see." Yusuke said quietly watching in amazement.

"Kagome! Pick me up! Don't make me use my Jagan eye!" It said.

Kagome flinched but bent down to pick up the head, she took a deep breath, "Who are you?" she asked holding the head carefully to make it face her.

The head grinned crookedly, "Why I'm yer third time great grandma! Just call me Hakusha darling."

"Okay . . .erm . . . Hakusha . . . . um . . . how are you still talking?"

"Jagan eye! If you have a Jagan you're still alive even if you're decapitated, well that is if you have as much power as I did." She said proudly. I winced mentally when - if - I die I'll make my dying request to have myself burnt. Wait a second. What if I die before I get to make that request?

/Fox./ I said telepathically to Kurama.

'Hm?'

/If I die. Burn me./ I cut off our telepathic communication but not before I heard a snicker from Youko.

"Great. I'm in the year twenty-two hundred, some serpent is out to get the last piece of the shikon no tama, and my third time great granny is a talking wrinkly head with Jagan eye. Can anything be anymore perfect?!" I heard Kagome mutter.

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I couldn't believe it. Not only did have a talking wrinkly headed granny but . . . . well I know something else bad was going to happen.

"Kagome?"

I turned at the sound of a familiar voice, I nearly the head. Sango. Hair dyed red, wearing the sluttiest outfit imaginable and I mean slutty! Her top barely covered her breasts and her miniskirt just about covered her ass from exposure. She had high heels on, her hair was piled up on her head and she just looked totally different from the Sango that I always new. "Sango?" I asked timidly. Sango could only gape nodding her head. "Um . . . I know that demon exterminating isn't a job that really pays well . . . but did you HAVE to sell your body?" I asked jokingly.

She seemed to have taken the hint because she blushed redder than a ripe tomato. "It was for the mission." She protested indignantly. "I didn't have time to change because I rushed over here to see you!"

{Well no. Miroku wanted to see me in this actually . . . .} I blinked upon overhearing part of Sango's thoughts. I really didn't need to know that . . . "Sango. You've really changed. I hardly recognized you . . . . "

"And you haven't!" she exclaimed. "Well of course you haven't. I'd run over there if I weren't so sure I'd fall and expose the rest of my posterior." She said dryly pointing to the really high heels.

I smiled, "And I'd come over there and hug you! If I weren't so sure I'd be very disturbed for the rest of my life." I replied cheekily.

Sango rolled her eyes, "Oh ha ha." She said dryly. "I'm going to change then I have to do some important paper work which have been neglected for a while. I expect a hug from you at dinner!" she said clumsily walking out of the room.

I chuckled as my friend waddled out then looked over at the child ruler. "So . . . . . now what?" I asked.

Koenma sweat-dropped. "Well, actually I don't know. We just knew that we had to keep you safe." He said.

I glared the small toddler. I was very really sorely tempted to shake him roughly by the neck and shout obscenities at him. Then flopped back down onto my seat when a question popped up in my head. I turned to look at Sesshomaru and asked. "Is Rin still alive?"

The demon raised a delicate eyebrow. "What if she is.?"

"Well I would like to give Rin back that necklace she left behind that third or was it the fifteenth . . . time you and Inu fought? Hhhhmmm . . . "

"I'm pretty sure it was around the sixteenth time mom." Shippo piped up.

I grinned, "Yeah! I remember now! That was the time when Sesshomaru came while we were having lunch and then he challenged Inu Yasha or was it threatened? Anywho Inu Yasha didn't want to fight until after he was done eating so Sesshomaru sliced his bowl of Ramen in half which really pissed of Inu so he took out his Tetsusaiga and started trying avenge his spoiled food! Then Sango, Miroku, Shipoo and I had to move our lunch else were so we moved it to this meadow where Rin was sitting all alone and hungry. So then we invited her to eat with us and she did then Jaken showed up and tried to set all on fire to 'save' Rin but Shippo put one of his statues on Jaken's back! Yeah I remember now!"

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Sesshomaru looked at the miko in surprise. "Rin and Jaken are out in the forest." He said.

Kagome grinned, "I'll go see them then!" she said jumping up. "As soon as someone points me in the right direction." She said bightly.

Koenma stepped forward shaking his head. "No can do Kagome. You can't go anywhere unless one of the boys or Sango are with you."

"Let me guess. You need to protect me so that Jedeki doesn't try to get the last shard piece right?"

"Correct. By the way where is the last jewel shard? If you could give it to us we'd be able to put it in our vault for safe keeping."

"No can do Koenma." Kagome said using the child's words, "If I were to tell you I'd have to kill you."

The small ruler glared at Kagome hard. The miko couldn't help but think that he looked cute when he pouted. "And pray tell why not?"

"That's for my future husband and me to know and you never to find out."

Kuwabara looked at the miko curiously, "What does your future husband have to do with anything?"

Kagome slapped her forehead. "Shoot. That was a little too much information than I wanted any of you to know." She sighed, "Well it can't be helped. So who's my bodyguard?" she asked.

Koenma sat back down on his seat looking over at the priestess curiously then replied, "We shift around the bodyguards between some of the people in this room, Miroku and Sango. Here let me check who's on first shift." The child pulled out a black leather book and opened it to a page. He scanned the page a little longer then replied, "The shift changes are every two hours. You are not to go anywhere without one of the guards. You could get easily kidnapped in a place like this especially in the forest out side. A lot of people go missing every week in those woods which is why you can understand why we don't want you going anywhere alone. Okay?"

Kagome nodded a bit surprised that Kagura was helping but then again so was Naraku . . . "So who's my first guard anyway?" She queried curiously. She was prepared to deal with any of the guards assigned to her.

The toddler scanned the book, "Naraku is first shift. Sesshomaru second shift." He said. "Get acquainted and don't let the past influence the present - future whatever." He said regally walking out.

The miko rolled her eyes at the stupidity of the words the child had just sprouted and then the priestess shouted at the prince's back, "If the past didn't influence the future there would be no present!" she glowered. Then looked over at Naraku who was studying her with a wide smirk gracing his lips. "Why don't you and Shippo switch shifts?" she suggested.

Naraku grinned, "I wouldn't mind. After all I'd get a night shift and watch you while you sleep."

"Never mind. Just show me the gardens and let's get these two hours over with so that I can go and get the next two hours over with."

Naraku strode over to the reluctant miko and took her arm. "My pleasure." He said silkily.

"Oh no you don't!" Kouga growled. He sped over to the duo. "I'm coming too."

"No way I'm leaving you with those two all alone!" Inu Yasha snarled bounding up to them as they left the room.

"We're going to have a very interesting life now that she's here." Kurama commented to his partner.

"Hn." Hiei replied before leaving along with everyone else. The door slammed shut on the now empty room.

"HEY!" A hoarse old voice called out. "WHAT ABOUT ME!!!???"

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Questions? Comments? Queries? Kind remarks? ^^