Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ He She Me We ❯ Step Five: Stop and Think About It ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Starr Dust 
Kurama loses it.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.22.2004 | Updated On: 07.25.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 975 | Visits: 546 | Status: Completed
Kurama loses it.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 05.22.2004 | Updated On: 07.25.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 975 | Visits: 546 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Yu Yu Hakusho, it's story and characters, is owned by Studio Pierrot, Yoshihiro Togashi, FUNimation, and Shonen Jump. Five: Stop and Think About it.
Since the dream, Kurama had become some what paranoid. He would constantly lock his windows and leave his blinds shut. Whenever he were to walk past a tree, he would either quicken his step or eye it suspiciously. It wasn't the first time that he had dreamt of Hiei confessing his feelings for him, but it was the first time that he had confessed his feelings.
Now, he sat here in his last class of the day, still very much confused over his dream. He almost begged the bell not to ring, from fear of what he may have to face on his walk home. He just wouldn't be able to deal with seeing Hiei. Frankly, he wasn't really up to seeing anyone.
Why didn't I just stay home today?
He decided to put his head down and rest for a while, not really caring if he got in trouble for it. Teachers didn't really seem to pay too much attention to him. Well, at least not the female teachers.
He chuckled to himself. His female body caused him too much trouble.
Maybe it's just hormones, he thought to himself. Maybe this body is starting to effect the way I think.
No. That couldn't be it. When he started puberty a few years ago his hormones were out of control and he still wasn't attracted to men. So what was it? What made Hiei so damn different from all the other men he's ever been around? What made him special? What made him love him?
Kurama felt his heart skip a beat. It took every ounce of self control he had to keep himself from looking panicked. Still, his head was spinning. Was it true? Was he really in love with Hiei?
No! I can't be! Hiei's a man! I'm a man! I'm a man!
When the bell finally rang, Kurama gathered up all his things, went to the girl's rest room, locked himself in the closest stall, and cried.
It was stupid. Silly. Crying over something like this. But it just felt so good. It wasn't that he was sad. No, this wasn't something you got sad about. It wasn't because he was scared. He'd gone pasted being scared for a while now. It was because he was tired. Tired of everything. Why did life have to be so damn complicated?
Quit your bitching, a voice inside of him said. Your pathetic. Crying over something so small.
"Small"? Another voice shot back. You call falling in love with another man small? How could this happen? When I was a Yoko-
Get over it! Your not Yoko Kurama anymore! Your Shuichi Minamino. A girl. And a pretty one at that. It's normal for you to feel this way.
I'm not a girl! I'm a man!
Yeah, and your being real manly right now. Look at you, sitting in the little girl's room, crying your eyes out. You baby.
Shut up!
Your just afraid. Your afraid of being gay.
Shut up!
Who really cares about things like that! Look at Hiei. Did you ever think that just maybe he loves you for you. All of you. If you can't act like a man, then you can at least be with one.
"SHUT UP!" he screamed, not caring who heard him. He felt like he was losing his mind. Maybe he was. After all, he was arguing with himself, and losing!
The stall was suddenly starting to feel very small. He needed some fresh air. He gathered his things in a rush and left. As he walked outside he noticed that the sky was already turning orange. How long had he been crying? He started walking then. Where, he didn't know. All he knew was that he had to move. He began to walk faster and faster, he didn't even hear that someone was calling his name until they grabbed his arm.
"Kurama!" He spun around to see who it was and found himself standing face to face with Yusuke Urameshi. He was wearing his normal green suit with his dark black hair slicked back. The only thing different about him was the look of concern that was on his face. "Kurama, what's wrong?"
Kurama shrugged off his arm and began to run in the opposite direction. Why? Why was he running from him? Yusuke was his friend, why was he running?
He heard Yusuke sprinting after him and began to pick up speed. "Leave me alone!" he screamed over his shoulder, but the young spirit detective didn't let up.
"Kurama! What's wrong with you?"
His legs suddenly felt very shaky and he had to stop. He almost feel face first to the ground, but luckily Yusuke was there to catch him. Kurama began to hug his stomach as he suddenly felt very sick.
"I'm gonna puke," he whimpered.
"Kurama, what the hell happened?" Yusuke asked as he helped him to stand. "Your mom called me asking if I knew where you were."
Kurama suddenly felt hot tears running down his cheeks. "I hate my life." He wasn't even making sense to himself anymore. He really had gone mad. His body went limp in Yusuke's strong arms as he finally passed out.
Since the dream, Kurama had become some what paranoid. He would constantly lock his windows and leave his blinds shut. Whenever he were to walk past a tree, he would either quicken his step or eye it suspiciously. It wasn't the first time that he had dreamt of Hiei confessing his feelings for him, but it was the first time that he had confessed his feelings.
Now, he sat here in his last class of the day, still very much confused over his dream. He almost begged the bell not to ring, from fear of what he may have to face on his walk home. He just wouldn't be able to deal with seeing Hiei. Frankly, he wasn't really up to seeing anyone.
Why didn't I just stay home today?
He decided to put his head down and rest for a while, not really caring if he got in trouble for it. Teachers didn't really seem to pay too much attention to him. Well, at least not the female teachers.
He chuckled to himself. His female body caused him too much trouble.
Maybe it's just hormones, he thought to himself. Maybe this body is starting to effect the way I think.
No. That couldn't be it. When he started puberty a few years ago his hormones were out of control and he still wasn't attracted to men. So what was it? What made Hiei so damn different from all the other men he's ever been around? What made him special? What made him love him?
Kurama felt his heart skip a beat. It took every ounce of self control he had to keep himself from looking panicked. Still, his head was spinning. Was it true? Was he really in love with Hiei?
No! I can't be! Hiei's a man! I'm a man! I'm a man!
When the bell finally rang, Kurama gathered up all his things, went to the girl's rest room, locked himself in the closest stall, and cried.
It was stupid. Silly. Crying over something like this. But it just felt so good. It wasn't that he was sad. No, this wasn't something you got sad about. It wasn't because he was scared. He'd gone pasted being scared for a while now. It was because he was tired. Tired of everything. Why did life have to be so damn complicated?
Quit your bitching, a voice inside of him said. Your pathetic. Crying over something so small.
"Small"? Another voice shot back. You call falling in love with another man small? How could this happen? When I was a Yoko-
Get over it! Your not Yoko Kurama anymore! Your Shuichi Minamino. A girl. And a pretty one at that. It's normal for you to feel this way.
I'm not a girl! I'm a man!
Yeah, and your being real manly right now. Look at you, sitting in the little girl's room, crying your eyes out. You baby.
Shut up!
Your just afraid. Your afraid of being gay.
Shut up!
Who really cares about things like that! Look at Hiei. Did you ever think that just maybe he loves you for you. All of you. If you can't act like a man, then you can at least be with one.
"SHUT UP!" he screamed, not caring who heard him. He felt like he was losing his mind. Maybe he was. After all, he was arguing with himself, and losing!
The stall was suddenly starting to feel very small. He needed some fresh air. He gathered his things in a rush and left. As he walked outside he noticed that the sky was already turning orange. How long had he been crying? He started walking then. Where, he didn't know. All he knew was that he had to move. He began to walk faster and faster, he didn't even hear that someone was calling his name until they grabbed his arm.
"Kurama!" He spun around to see who it was and found himself standing face to face with Yusuke Urameshi. He was wearing his normal green suit with his dark black hair slicked back. The only thing different about him was the look of concern that was on his face. "Kurama, what's wrong?"
Kurama shrugged off his arm and began to run in the opposite direction. Why? Why was he running from him? Yusuke was his friend, why was he running?
He heard Yusuke sprinting after him and began to pick up speed. "Leave me alone!" he screamed over his shoulder, but the young spirit detective didn't let up.
"Kurama! What's wrong with you?"
His legs suddenly felt very shaky and he had to stop. He almost feel face first to the ground, but luckily Yusuke was there to catch him. Kurama began to hug his stomach as he suddenly felt very sick.
"I'm gonna puke," he whimpered.
"Kurama, what the hell happened?" Yusuke asked as he helped him to stand. "Your mom called me asking if I knew where you were."
Kurama suddenly felt hot tears running down his cheeks. "I hate my life." He wasn't even making sense to himself anymore. He really had gone mad. His body went limp in Yusuke's strong arms as he finally passed out.