Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ I'm Here For You ❯ Silence ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter Three……… Silence………

There was a different feeling as Hiei stared up into the grey clouds, letting the rain soak him. His whole body felt heavy from all the water and the rain was cold and fast. He wanted it to be that way though. There were so many problems in his life, he just had to focus on one thing at the moment. The rain drenching his body was feeling icy to his warm body and was easy to concentrate on. He shouldn't have acted that way around Botan before. It wasn't a good idea. Miserah could do anything to-

"Oh no," Hiei muttered as his eyes widened, "I have to find her!"

He quickly made his way down the wet streets, looking for her. The rain was starting to take the toll on him however. It was getting colder with nightfall and now his body was freezing as the rain stopped and the wind that had blown it away picked up. Hiei had to find her though. He wasn't to give up, he wasn't going to let her die- like Yukina. Hiei had to stop for a moment.

"Yu-yukina," he said softly he suddenly stared blankly at his surroundings.

He couldn't move anymore. His whole body had shut down either from the cold or just the mentioning of that name. Yukina.

********

Botan could still feel his arms around her. They were amazingly strong but gentle. She blushed slightly. Did he mean that? Did she really have someone who cared about her? Poor Hiei. How could he be dealing with this? He certainly couldn't be taking it easy. Yukina was really the only one he ever really showed affection to. Kuwabara was still cooped up in his bedroom crying (aww), but Hiei wasn't that kind of person. It had to have hit him harder than that. She decided to go looking for him and headed down a narrow alleyway that lead to a deserted street that had been blocked off years ago. Many went there to get away from it all.

********

Was he seeing things, or did Botan just jump the fence up ahead. She was right there in front of him but he still could not move. He could feel a slight tremble in his body. Now that she was here, his mind was clouded over with memories of earlier that lead back to Yukina's death. He felt his knees hit the ground and his name called out. She must have seen him and he could hear the soft movement of her shoes against the wet pavement. He kept his head low, shameful of something he didn't even understand, and stayed silent.

"Hiei! I've been looking all over for-" Botan stopped as she looked at Hiei's freezing and limp state.

"Oh, Hiei, you're so wet," she said.

Hiei said nothing, but only lifted his head. His eyes were sad and narrow. Botan felt her heart nearly break at his state.

"Hiei," Botan said softly as she knelt beside him, the knees of her blue jeans becoming wet.

He moved his eyes over to her.

"Botan," was all he said.

His voice was nothing but sorrow. Botan said nothing more. She just reached to pull him closer. Hiei stood before she held him and began to walk away from her.

"You musn't be here. Leave me and do not ever mention my name."

"Huh?"

"I'm leaving."

"What?!"

"Goodbye, Botan. To you, may I have never been."

"Not so fast here!" Botan exasperated, "Try and think this through!"

"Now that I know you are okay, I can leave this place and leave you all in peace."

"No, Hiei!"

"Yes, Botan! I have to do this. I will go to the one place where not one cares for me. Goodbye."

"Hi-" Botan stopped.

Hiei was already gone.

********

Hiei had managed to get back to Makai pretty easily and now he was walking down the path to which he vowed he would never see again.

"Koorime Village," Hiei said softly as he stared at it from afar.

His clothes were still soaked but his hair had dried pretty well and was shaping back up into it's normal position. How could he just walk in? Perhaps they would run like he would want them to, but they may also mob. He snuck into the place through an alley, grabbing a tattered, brown cloth that made the perfect cloak. He slid it over his head and walked into the village. He could hear various conversations mostly involving him since nothing exciting usually happened around the area.

"I can't believe Yukina would go looking for it. That fire demon is nothing but a bastard."

"Yeah, I know. She'll surely get killed."

"And I bet IT will be the one who does it."

"Dumb girl."

"Very."

Hiei didn't care being referred to as 'it'. But all the talk of Yukina was tearing his insides apart. He wrapped his arms around himself and walked faster.

"Make it all go away," he thought over and over as tears filled his eyes.

He felt like a child again. Normally, people would be happy with that but his childhood had always been dark and sorrowful. Hiei kept walking until crashed into someone. He looked up and saw the last face he ever wanted to see, Hina Jaganshi. He longed to pull off the hood and cry to her about his life but he couldn't. All he could do is excuse himself and continue on his way. He was beginning to hypervenolate. Everything was too much. It seemed like everything had crashed down on top of him and he had to lift it all to get out. He payed for a room at a nearby hotel. (Wow, hotels are everywhere aren't they?) He closed himself up in the room and jumped down on the bed and cried.

"No more. No more. No more," he said over and over again, "Why? Yukina, why did you have to trust him? Oh Yukina."

******

Botan changed clothes at her apartment before walking to stand in front of her mirror. She stared at herself for a long time. She was wearing a yellow pull-over jacket and blue jeans. She continued to stare at herself. She was picking out every detail of herself. B;ue hair, pink eyes, soft complection………

Why was she always rejected?

"What's wrong with me?" she asked softly, "Why did Koenma leave me? Why did Hiei leave me? Why did Yukina leave us all?"

She felt some tears run down her cheeks as she pulled on her socks. Nothing was the same anymore and it had all changed in a split second. Then, the one person that had turned out to be like her left right after she figured it out! There must have been something wrong with her. This wasn't fair. It just wasn't. She was decent looking wasn't she? That couldn't be why she was still alone. Was it because………?

She went on for an hour in her mind with questions before she figured out the answer. It was because she always let them go. She never tried to stop them and now she was alone. This time she was going to follow her heart. Now, all she had to do is figure out where it lead. She closed her eyes and began to think of that very destination.

******

It had been two hours now. Hiei lay on his bed, his clothing nearly dry except for a few damp spots. His eyes were glassy as he stared at the ceiling. His cloak lay against a wall. He had so much to say but no one to go to anymore. He couldn't. They would get over it. Since when did he make people happy anyway? Everything was always so fake compared to the true reality he had experienced so quickly. So much had happened that he had kept deep inside of him and now, Yukina's death was put on top and the blocks of sorrow he had built since child hood toppled over and came out after so long. Hiei didn't even move. He just stared at the ceiling. Memories began to creep into his mind.

"As long as we are alone……… we are together," he whispered.

His voice was hoarse and he could no longer speak over a whisper. He felt Botan holding onto him again. He felt so safe with her. It was like she was an angel, protecting him from any harm. She was so warm and beautiful. He suddenly realized how captivating her smile was and how lovely her eyes were when they were filled with tears. They just seemed to sparkle. Her whole body seemed to glow with an aura of beauty. Now she was gone too. He couldn't see her anymore, but he wanted to with all his heart. He clutched the sheets before drifting off into a troubled slumber. Perhaps he could dream of her………

*******

"Hiei!" Botan yelled as she came out of her dream.

She looked around quickly before calming down and saddening. He wasn't there. There was one good thing about it though. She knew what her heart wanted. Too bad her mind told her no. She wanted to see him though. She desperatly wanted to see him, but she couldn't. He left. And now she had no idea where he was. She hugged her knees in the darkness of her room as evening finally faded into night.

Chapter Four………Fever………

Hiei opened his eyes slowly the next morning and stared at the sliver of sunlight on the ceiling. His body was heavy as he lay on that bed in the same position he had lay in many hours ago. He blinked a few minutes. He knew he was ill. He knew it last night, but he didn't care. He wanted to die. Then no one would be in danger. Everyone would be safe and happy, so why couldn't he just die? Why didn't he lift his right arm and shoot the Dragon of Darkness Flame through his heart? Who could be holding him ba-

"Botan," he whispered again.

What had caused her to come to his mind so often? Was it because she was like him,no matter how hard it was to believe? He felt tears come to his eyes again as a pain surged through his entire body. He didn't want to die but he wanted to. Everything had two sides now! How was he supposed to choose? He couldn't. All he could do is lay on this bed in the middle of the fork in the road.

*******

Botan opened her eyes suddenly. She saw him! He was in some sort of fancy room- a hotel she guessed. He was sprawled out on the bed, staring at the ceiling, with tears rolling down his cheeks. She could have been dreaming, or maybe, just maybe, she was connected to him. She shook her head and pulled herself off the bed and ran outside onto her balcony. She kept seeing him all over the place. She reached out and nearly fell off of the balcony. She quickly ran inside and grabbed her little purple backpack and slid on her tennis shoes. She slammed the door, running after the everlasting vision of the shadow. She just couldn't catch up to him.

"Hiei," she kept yelling in her mind.

She slipped and fell onto the pavement, scraping her knees and ripping her jeans. She could see his arms wrap around her, but they dispersed when no feeling came to her. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stood and stood, staring at the gray sky. She couldn't give up. She wouldn't. She'd come too far to give up. She summoned her oar and flew off toward the Reikai.

*******

Hiei heard a knock on the door. He waited to hear it again to make sure his fever wasn't tricking him.

"Who's there," Hiei muttered.

"Room service."

"Go away."

"Yes sir."

He could hear other people in his mind now. He could hear Yukina comforting in his sickened state, Kurama trying to doctor him, Yusuke being naïve and asking why he was just laying there, Kuwabara being stupid and asking the same thing, and Botan………

He felt the blood rush to his forehead and he rolled over, trying to ease the pain. He rose up and made his way to the bathroom and vomited. He had no food in his system so he was nearly choking himself. He walked out and stared in the mirror at his solemn reflection.

"I hate you," he said to his reflection before breaking it with his fist.

He didn't care what the others would think. He was angry. Even more, he was dead. He was alone again. He quickly pulled all the money he had out of his pocket and pulled the cloak back on. He only had enough to pay for the night and he had to leave now. He pulled the hood over his head and walked out of the hotel with no money. He stopped as he stood on the dirt road. Did Botan just pass? No, that was her. No her! He was seeing her!

"Damn it," he thought, "Someone really wants to torture me."

He escaped the town with no one knowing him as the Forbidden One. He had to keep going. He had to move on. 'Those' days were over. He'd taken advantage of them. Now, they were only a memory. He felt a few tears; he didn't care. He let them fall. Everything was gone. His life was over. He had worked so hard to start the one he'd learned to care for; he couldn't just start over.

******

"Koenma!" Botan yelled as she ran into the office.

"Hm? Botan? You're not supposed to be at work today. Why are you here?"

"You have to tell me where Hiei is. Can you locate him?"

"I suppose. Why?"

"I need to talk to him."

"About what?"

"JUST DO IT!"

"Eh heh, right."

Koenma typed some things in his little computer and stared for along time.

"Right outside of Koorime Village."

"Thanks bye!"

"Bye-" Koenma said but she was already gone.

She summoned her oar and flew toward Makai at lightening speed. In fact, as she neared the village and tried to slow down, he oar went out of control and she fell from it.

"AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she yelled, stopping when she was caught by someone in a tattered brown cloak.

******

Hiei caught his breath. Botan had fallen from the sky right into his arms. He had to be dreaming again. He sat her on the grass and turned from her.

"Thanks," she said.

He voice was agonizingly sorrowful. She seemed like she had lost the thing she loved most. No, it couldn't be him.

"You're welcome," he said offhandly.

*****

That voice.

"Hiei?"

She saw him stop. She ran and pulled the cloak off his head. He pushed her to the ground and backed away. It was Hiei. She felt herself lift from the ground and her feet carrying her body to him. She held out her arms and pulled them around him, falling to her knees and crying.

"Hiei, I don't care. I don't care! Don't leave me alone anymore! Please!"

******

Hiei moved his hands around to her back as his mouth opened and no words came. He just grasped her tightly. One day, and he couldn't live without her. How was this happening.

"N-no," was all he could say.

"Yes," she said sternly.

"NO!"

"Hiei," Botan said softly as he pushed her to the ground.

"DON'T YOU SEE?! I CAN'T BE WITH YOU! I CAN'T BE WITH ANYONE!"

"I DON'T CARE IF MISERAH KILLS ME! All I want is to be with you!"

Hiei felt dizzy as he stared at her.

"I-I………Botan I-" Hiei hit the ground, sweat pouring from his face.

He could feel her arms around him.

"Hiei," she whispered, "what did you do to yourself?"

Hiei felt so safe and warm. He said nothing but merely closed his eyes as she held him the embrace he'd longed for. He could feel his body give out and slip into unconciosness.

******

Botan held him for a long time. It felt so right as she was right there with him. This was where she wanted to be. She lifted him up onto her oar and flew off to Ningenkai. She could fly right into her window and lay him down to rest. When she had done that, she closed the window and looked at the little shadow on her bed. He lay there on her light comforter, standing out in his black outfit. She touched it and felt to barely damp texture.

"Hiei," she said softly.

She quickly turned to go ask a neighbor for some clothes. She went next door and managed to get some, a yellow shirt and blue pants. She lifted him up a bit and pulled the cloak off of him. Then she pulled off his shirt and felt how feverish he was. She quickly replaced it with the shirt that, now that it was on him, was extremely too big. She dressed him completely and he still stayed in slumber. She lay him back onto the bed and stared at him a moment. She pulled her head down to him and kissed his forehead, stroking some hair out of his face.

"Sleep well," she said and exited without another word.

*******

Miserah sat alone in his chamber, his lacky sitting on the floor.

"Now, Toad, I must finish my plan. Bring me Yukina's body."

"They buried sir," he squaked.

"Bring me her body," he said.

"Why don't you just kill Hiei anyway, m'lord?"

"Because, I believe that if you attack the heart enough, your opponent will die on the inside and that is better my boy."

"Yes sir, it is perfectly devious of your greatness."

"Why thank you. Now do as you're told!"

"YES SIR!" Toad said and shuffled out of the lair.