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"The Marines Journey - The SHODAN crisis" Reviews/Comments [ 57 ]
Pages (4): [ «  <  1  2  3  4  >  » ]
 Title: I am Darrel!
Reviewed By: Chibi Winnigate  On: December 07, 2004 09:13 CST
Comment/Review:
The following is a quote from a review titled "I am Bob!", left by "Chibi Ilpala", December 07, 03:56: - "I noticed a crap bit in your fic. It's the bit between the start and the end." - HEY DUDE, I SPOTTED THAT BIT TOO!
 Title: Starting Pointers
Reviewed By: This Isn't Me, But I Wish I Was  On: December 07, 2004 09:10 CST
Comment/Review:
"-Germanicus" was right. Uber-sue, cardboard characters. Even the walk-in 'supporting cast' that you brought in (the techs for example) are cardboard. They have absolutely no drive. They are not believable characters. You are supposed to make them REAL in writing, but these are flat, dull and lifeless. And BORING. Man are they boring! The techs in particular, appear to exist only to fulfill the predestined and horrendously overused sterotypical "wacky" character. I'm not even going to begin to tell you why all the sex is so pointless. Why is a cyberdemon humping a small robotic ninjathing? Really, neither of them should have any 'drive' whatsoever. Well not THAT sort of drive. So as well as a little more realism in your characters, why not stop and think. They're not all like you. I really hope you are not this sex-obsessed in real life. And all the Sonic cast you hump (with alternate versions? WTF?) are all underage. And Tikal is dead. But I said I won't try to fathom that. So I'm not getting into a discussion on how amazingly wrong it all is. So yes -Germanicus was correct and yes, the fic is boring. It is something that can only be loved by the author, and perhaps a small group of friends (or ass-kissers as described below).
 Title: Here is an example of a fan of this story:
Reviewed By: Fabio2  On: December 07, 2004 09:03 CST
Comment/Review:
Personally, I don't like lengthy 'Suefics-that-only-the-author-really-enjoys' (as described by that guy below) either. However, here is my impression of someone who does: - 'DUH! I LIKE THIS STORY! DUH!!!' :) Or alternatively: 'I have no reviews, I shall review this guy. Hey he gave me a good review, I'm going to give him a good review and return the favour!' For you see, you author still have a fair few reviews from complete ass-kissers. That is the most useless and lest productive review you can get, and it is better to disregard them. A lot of flames have been cast, that is correct, but that review from '-Germanicus' is the most truthful and useful review you have recieved so far on this site. And, probably the most useful you will ever recieve.
 Title: Great!
Reviewed By: Satanica  On: December 07, 2004 03:05 CST
Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
You suck dick, you sad pathetic person. I hope you choke. Eat excrement and die, mugglefugger. You nasty stupid selfish pile of dog shit, I wish you would die and save me the trouble of hunting you down like the subhuman dog you are. Die Die Die, Rot in hell, I hate you. You horrible, mean, evil person. I hope you get beaten up by a mob of vigilantes. I am amazed that you can have friends, even if it is a deluded web-friend who is half in love with you. I bet the only way you can get real friends is by lying and cheating them, because you are a crazy psychopathic bastard in reality. I hope you are stabbed to death by a group of your closest friends, as it is only a matter of time before they see you for the SICK FUCK you are. Burn in Hell, (The Devil is Waiting to Punch you in the Dick) S.
 Title: I am Bob!
Reviewed By: Chibi Ilpala  On: December 07, 2004 02:56 CST
Comment/Review:
I noticed a crap bit in your fic. It's the bit between the start and the end.
 Title: To The Max!
Reviewed By: Max Power  On: December 07, 2004 02:53 CST
Comment/Review:
I checked the comic (both), funnily enough it doesn't appear in either versions. And the characters are way off even for that. If you put Brutus in it, maybe wrote it properly... got rid of the hentai (now I KNOW that that isn't part of any of the Sonic universes). No I'm not that other guy. But I do think he was right, and by the way, he did put some positive points in his review, and he did take note of the work you put in. Personally I don't think you put much work in at all.
 Title: one last thing
Reviewed By: Azmodai  On: December 07, 2004 01:48 CST
Comment/Review:
do you even know which Sonic game he is going with? did you ever stop to think about that? did you even think that he might be doing it with the sonic comic? hell you are all so blind by your dumbassness you never even thought to say "hey hang on a minute which sonic series is he doing it with?" think about that cause depending on the series that is being used with this story depends on their ages. so the ones who call him a pedo rot in hell, the people who flame go join them, and the people who are a bit nicer, good one.
 Title: i dont really care
Reviewed By: To the bastard who likes to be a beta reader  On: December 07, 2004 01:41 CST
Comment/Review:
i think my title says it all i dont care if you want to harass me for the punctuation of a review, last time i checked its not the actual story, i couldnt really care wether you believe it is a joke or not, to piccard this isnt a joke. you are one sad mother fucker feel free to take all the punctuation and grammar from this all you want cause all i have to say is see you in hell FUCKERS
 Title: To Asmodai
Reviewed By: Germanicus [MediaMiner Member]  On: December 07, 2004 00:39 CST
Comment/Review:
"Rule 1 for a reviewer everyone should know this DONT[sic] FLAME"-- That depends on your definition of a 'flame'. "Rule 2: constructive critiscism[sic]"-- I believe that I included SOME in my review. "'you just given a foolproof argument for euthanasia!' YOU SICK FUCK you think that a story is going to make someone agree with mercy killings?" First of all, when you quote someone, do so word for word with all necessary alterations (... [] [sic] etc.) Example- "You've discovered a foolproof argument for euthanasia!" This is my quote without any alterations. "You've discovered [an]... argument for euthanasia!" The '...' is used to shorten the quote and add a transition to the other half, while the [] is used to replace a word with an appropriate alternative. Another tool to use for quotations is '[sic]' which identifies an error of spelling or word usage while keeping the quote itself intact. Some excellent examples which can be used are evident throughout your 'review'. "GOT THAT NOW LEAVE HIM ALONE UNLESS YOU CONSTRUCTIVELY CRITISICE[sic]!" Though it is better to leave the quote with it's errors simply identified, we can clean up a bit of this drivel. "you guys make me sick you really do Piccard great story" A simple break in the quote with a little puctuation would make it easier to understand! "You... make me sick, you really do Piccard!" MUCH BETTER!! Secondly, it was a joke, calm down.
 Title: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DUMBASS FLAMERS
Reviewed By: Asmodai  On: December 06, 2004 11:46 CST
Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
There i gave you my thought in the title i am sick and tired of all these fucking retarded flamers Rule 1 for a reviewer everyone should know this DONT FLAME Rule 2: constructive critiscism not something like "you just given a foolproof argument for euthanasia!" YOU SICK FUCK you think that a story is going to make someone agree with mercy killings? you complete and utter dumbass sorry piccard for using your story to rant at the retarded reviewers but it has to be done 3rd point the guy who wrote DIE several thousand times. WHY DONT YOU? LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE HE IS A GOOD WRITER ONLY YOU RETARDS ARE TOO BLIND TO SEE IT!!! GOT THAT NOW LEAVE HIM ALONE UNLESS YOU CONSTRUCTIVELY CRITISICE! if i dont like my friends stuff i would say if i didnt like it i would give ways of improving it not come out with random crap! HELL I AM NICE TO MY FRIENDS AND STRANGERS IF I DONT/DO LIKE THEIR STORY you guys make me sick you really do Piccard great story even if people are to blind to see it
 Title: -_-
Reviewed By: Rufus.xpam  On: December 06, 2004 11:43 CST
Comment/Review:
What can I say about ur manners...? Ah, we all live in the age of shit... Learn some manners, then comment. The best was "Your stories rock". What can I say... if "Me" hears me - u r the most lame guy that I ever saw ;)
 Reviewed By: -Germanicus  On: December 05, 2004 04:50 CST
Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10
Comment/Review:
I managed to read a few chapters. I'll try to make this as polite as possible... or not. Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu- Idiocy, ego-stroking, the kind of thing only pleasent to the author of the piece. Pedophelia- Christ! I'm gonna have to agree with the others who've left their own opinons concerning this one... What's wrong with you! Length- I can see you obviously put a lot of work into this... And I do mean a lot! Unfortanately a lengthy 'sue flick is STILL a 'sue flick! Suggestions- I would offer advice on how to salvage this, however, the advice I would give involves changing almost the entire story. In fact, you might as well start over. Sorry, but it was an unpleasent read... Now I need to wash out my eyes... Scores- (Based on the amount I could stand to read) Style of Writing- 7 Large blocks of writing hurts the eyes (moreso than the actual content). Separate your writing into more paragraphs. Spelling and Grammer- 9 Fine, though you could still use more variety in diction (frankly, so could I). Originality/Creativity- 5 You get a few points here; I've never seen an angsty/ridiculously 'powerful'/Every Character loves them/Ego expanding Mary-Sue Character(s) with this amount of work put into it. Enjoyment Factor- 0 Congrats! You've discovered a foolproof argument for euthanasia! The 'rating' system requires a minimum of one... DOUBLE CONGRATS! You broke the scale! Overall Rating- 0 Hit another minimum of one... Just between me and you, lets just 'say' it was a zero.
 Reviewed By: jiviesucka  On: November 29, 2004 10:15 CST
Comment/Review:
but seriously. I do agree with the guy below me though./
 Reviewed By: jiviesucka  On: November 29, 2004 10:14 CST
Comment/Review:
LOL you suck, go suck you sucker! ROLF!!!!!111!!! Now that is how you do a flame! ^ ^
 Title: Dude!
Reviewed By: The Most Dudely Dude  On: November 25, 2004 03:44 CST
Comment/Review:
This thing left out the smileys in my review!
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