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[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own what isn't mine.

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Blau

Spirits and Vampires

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"A vampire has many forms."

"Oh? I have only two, although one can be modified as I wish."

It was rather strange, Ilde reflected, how those two had come to like each other. Eh, she supposed it made sense: two primarily evil beings of a spiritual nature, one from the East and one from the West. It only made sense that they'd recognize the other's similarities and strengths and form an alliance.

Alucard tsked, grinning. "Only two? How sad."

"Yes, but then there are many different ~kinds~ of youkai. As far as I can tell, there are only two ~kinds~ of vampire - real and artificial. Every other variation merely deals with experience and strength."

The vampire looked thoughtful. "Three."

"Three?" Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow; he had an idea where this was heading.

"Yes. There is the kind born from the union of a vampire and a human - although very rare because-"

"Oh yes. Those." He sneered. "Our kind calls them hanyou. There would be more of them if the youkai who like humans did not also like killing them immediately after rutting with them."

"And yet they still exist."

"There are aberrations, of course."

Jei snickered. "Such as his father."

"Watch it, human, or-"

"Or this Sesshoumaru will rip our guts out or swipe us with his oh-so-terrible poison, or something of the sort. Come ~on~, Fluffy! We're not humans and we're not mortal and we're not exactly killable, either. If you ~were~ able to kill both me and Shou, we'd just recombine into one angel, rather than being split by genders - and we wouldn't have physical restrictions like we do now, either."

Alucard's eyes were twinkling. This was better than annoying Integra, Walter, and the policewoman all at once!

"Hmph."

"Did you ever think he might have been under a spell?"

Sesshoumaru, by this time, was fed up enough that he just glared at her. Jei, however, caught her idea and thought about it seriously. He was fairly certain he could support the argument.

"Everywhere I've visited, there's been mention of beings who are incredibly beautiful, or masters of illusion, or wondrous spell-casters. However they do it, they enchant their prey into fascination or infatuation or a facsimile of love - and then usually either drag them off for a couple hundred years of wild sex, or kill them. If your dad was anything like you, it was probably the former, and he probably got mad and killed the creature before it could entrap him completely. But somehow, it managed to bind him to - what was her name? - your brother's mother."

"Wonderful." He groaned. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be ashamed of someone for a several centuries, only to discover that maybe it wasn't their fault after all?"

"Nope." She grinned at him cheekily. "We were sealed to the river Euphrates from the beginning of time until our release at ß's hands - can't help you there."

"So, uh," Alucard interrupted, nervous in the sudden realization that at least two of these people were technically older than him. "What are your two forms? I specialize in darkness with lots of eyes, blood, humanoid, and hellhound."

Sesshoumaru shrugged, allowing himself to be distracted. "Humanoid and true form. The humanoid I can control - it's really just a particular spell, and at my age I can modify it without thought. The other one you don't want to see and I don't want to transform into because the room's too small."

"Hah." Alucard looked disbelieving, but didn't prod. "Show me a different humanoid form."

"My pleasure," Sesshoumaru said, half-bowed mockingly, and stood. The black and silver leeched from his hair, his clothing changed, his eyes became more gold and slitted, markings appeared - red stripes on his arms and cheeks and a purple crescent on his forehead - armor gathered about him, and a large, long, fluffy thing that could be a tail or a pelt or a fur version of a feather boa settled over his shoulder. "I looked like this once."

Alucard returned the bow, also mockingly, and stood as well. He changed too: his features became older, his hair lengthened, his clothing changed, a moustache grew, his skin paled (as if that were possible), and he appeared in general more sinister. "I looked like this once," he said.

"Hah! I ~knew~ it!" Ilde said. "That's from your time as Vlad Tepesh, right? The Impaler? I had a feeling it was you."

"You know me in this form?" he said, surprised.

"You came damn near close to waking me up, once. That's when we were moved to another place, because He wasn't ready for the apocalypse quite yet."

"You're not in connection with God," Jei said suspiciously. "How do you know this?"

"I've said it before: since Shou can talk to the dead, I figured I'd be able to talk to God if I tried," she said defensively. "And I was right. Anyway, I remember a pull to consciousness and wondering if it was time, and the Almighty sending in a bunch of Turks in order to cover moving us to a different place. And then He told me to go back to sleep and I did."

Alucard started banging his head against the wall.

"You'll get a headache if you keep doing that."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will. You're giving ~me~ a headache and I'll transfer it to you if you don't stop."

~~~-~~~

"Let me get this straight. He wanted my master to ~sell~ me to him?"

"Yup."

"And when she refused - I am ~not~ for sale - he told you to kill her?"

"Uh huh."

"And bring me back?"

"As carry-on luggage."

"What did you call him, again?"

"A perverse old psycho."

"I agree with you completely."

"Whatever." Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "Can we get on with the ~real~ mission, here?"

"Yes, oh great and powerful ruler of the Western Lands, Fluffy-chan."

He casually swiped at her, trailing poison.

She dodged. The poison ate into the granite floor and wall behind her.

Alucard eyed the poison with interest. "Right. The mission."

~~~-~~~

"So, basically, you have to rescue your girlfriend from a bunch of magic humans."

"My ~fiancee~ is being held captive with magic by a wizard because he thinks she's a silver fox. Yes."

"And where is this wizard?" Ilde yawned, looking bored as she leaned against a pillar.

"Scotland. In a castle, also hidden by magic."

"Uh huh."

"It's making me think of Naraku."

"He died, didn't he? I don't see any baboon-spider nasties about - aside from Nara, of course."

Sesshoumaru had an odd look on his face. "Yes, he… died. You could say that."

"Cool."

"Given that all of us are - ahem - magical in nature, we should be able to see the castle, or at least the barrier that protects it," Alucard said, a little tired by now of these constant segues. "Can you teleport?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head.

"That's really Min's type of thing more than ours," Ilde said apologetically.

"Heh. We ~could~ fly, but I don't think the general population would be happy with that." Jei grinned at the thought of terrifying people.

Alucard raised an eyebrow. "~You~ can ~fly~?"

Ilde grinned and pushed out/unfolded her wings.

He raised an eyebrow. "Green wings?"

"Pristine white is a fairly new idea," Jei said.

"Now ~you're~ the one making segues," Ilde added.

"Hmph. I'll drive us most of the way there, and then we can walk."

"We." Sesshoumaru said.

"Hm?"

"You said `we'. Are you coming along?"

"I'm bored," Alucard whined. "My master can always call me if she needs me, anyway."

Sesshoumaru smirked.

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Almost there. Almost there. Just a few more days, and the last ingredient would be ready...

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What was once part two now stands on its own. All Hail adding extra stuff to make chapters longer.