Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Revelations ❯ A Really Stupid Question ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: missashlee28
Part III: A Really Stupid Question
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Look to previous chapters.
Authors Note: First, I want to thank everybody for their wonderful reviews, you are all what inspires me to keep writing. Also, I would like to thank everyone in their patience in my lack of updates. School is extremely writing intensive so it is hard to find time to write on the side, especially when working full time also.
I have had a lot of questions about my plans for this fic, so thanks to your patience; I will try my best to explain my intentions. This fic is really about my own personal opinion of how Ichigo deals with the normal dramatic emotions and hormones that a 15 year old deals with. I love IxR to death, but with Ichigo as 15 in this, I don't have any plans to hook them up. What I'm looking at is about six chapters and what I want to accomplish is a good feeling and general understanding of Ichigo. It's for my own benefit and the entertainment of others. I will try to create some cute IxR moments along the way however. To another question, I have no plans to make a fic from Rukia's perspective; I find her character too complex to write from a personal view point.
Okay, this whole thing was like a mystery. Kind of like those popular American books. What the hell were those called? Hardy Boys or something like that. It was just like that except that it had a whole lot less to do with conspiracies and law breaking a whole lot more to do with confusing physical responses to a certain raven haired shinigami who lived in his closet. So, yeah in that context, it was just like those damn mysteries.
Well, he hated mysteries. He liked his answers concrete, clear, concise and on time. He didn't want any Hardy Boys action, especially with those awful book covers.
He wanted to know right now, this minute, why he found Rukia attractive.
He shouldn't and despite Keigo's talking, he didn't think that many others did either.
However he did like Rukia and there was no escaping that fact. She was a good friend and despite her tendency to annoy the hell out of him, he enjoyed her company.
But that did not explain physical attraction. It did not explain sudden bouts of lust, simple everyday actions that turned tempting or the unreasonable half formed idea of kissing Rukia that always hovered in the back of his mind.
No, there was no answer. Not hat he could find anyways and asking Rukia if shinigami gave off special pheromones to appeal others to themselves (really, was there any other explanation for this attraction?) was definitely out of the question.
So…no answer.
Well, if there was no answer, then why did there have to be a question?
Really, did he have to desire Rukia? Couldn't he just turn these feelings off, much like turning a faucet of water on and off?
Perhaps, if he just put her out of his mind, it wouldn't be there anymore.
Ah, sweet peace from his tormenting thoughts sounded so wonderful.
Maybe he could start right now.
Okay. Baseball. Yes, that was nice. Manga. School. Alright, this just might work. A few more minutes of this mind therapy and he might be cured.
Okay, he was going to ignore that and keep on going. Voices could not be sexy no matter their husky tone, so he was just going to keep thinking about other things. Other things…
God, she was so cute when she was annoyed. Since his head was buried in his pillow and he wasn't looking, he could just imagine the cute pout on her face, the turn of her lips, that little crease in her forehead and the bright spark in her eyes.
So, that one was a little less of a turn-on because she really just sounded angry and in no mood to play around, not that he ever played around with her, but it was harder to imagine lustful thoughts when he knew she was dreaming of suffocating him with his pillow.
“Ichigo! I know you're awake!”
Well, this was getting less sexy by the minute because that one was most definitely reaching a high pitch that almost hurt his ear drums. Maybe this ignoring her thing wasn't going to work after all. Perhaps he should try it when she wasn't in the same room as him.
“Ichigo, this is not a joke, so you better open your eyes right now!”
Maybe, if he just kept her perpetually pissed at him 24/7 and knew she would be opposed to his advances; he could keep his dirty thoughts away. Well, that sounded just about as good as any other of his ideas, but he could give it a shot.
However, it seemed she was already in the pissed stage and ignoring her anymore was going to result in bodily harm, so he decided it was best he answer her soon.
He turned over to face her hovering over his bed. “What?” His tone was not gentle.
She held up her little phone/ hollow radar/ tracking device/ whatever the hell it was, indicating that they had business to take care of, and stamped her foot in a timely beat all while shooting him a look that could kill.
While making a grand production of how she had interrupted him and his well needed sleep he grudgingly left the house with her company to take care of the hollow. At least chopping something's head off would be a good distraction.
So, keeping Rukia mad did nothing except instill such a deep fear in Ichigo that he slept with one eye open that night. Angry Rukia was still mostly attractive and he supposed unwanted thoughts were better than unwanted injuries anyways.
That was fine; he had a new plan anyways. He would just focus on somebody else so much that Rukia would no longer be a part of his thought process. He knew just the person too, it might be hard, well because he had never thought of this person that way, but everybody else did, so he could too.
She was everything Rukia was not and every guy's dream, right? Long blond hair, bright eyes, cheerful smile, long legs, sweet disposition, and of course, huge tits. Well, that was vulgar, but all part of his new mind-frame, because it was either pervert or stalker and he was going to go with the one that would bring the least amount of insanity along with it.
So, Orihime it was. It couldn't be that hard right?
Then why was he sitting at his desk, looking to the right where Rukia sat, instead of to the left, which was where Orihime was sitting?
Ichigo's head dropped to his desk in defeat. There was no way around this and no damn explanation either. Of course, Orihime was attractive, from a perspective where he could appreciate that, but from his own male perspective, the person he found attractive was Rukia.
He was only fifteen, so he wasn't really sure that he had a “type”, but he'd never thought that it would be somebody like Rukia. He was a pretty smart guy, so he realized that these feelings, despite their intensity, probably wouldn't last.
But until then, it seemed like he needed to deal with them and find a semblance of inner peace, so he could make it through the day without going insane.
They were all alone. His father and sisters had left the house together for a night out but Ichigo could not go due to homework reasons. But now, his homework was finished and his family was not due home for a few more hours.
He knew the one thing Rukia loved to do more than anything else when they were home alone and with nothing else to do, it seemed like the best choice.
He shut his textbook and looked over at Rukia. She was adorable, sitting on his bed looking so excited about what they were about to do she was practically bouncing. She was kicking her legs out and had a genuine smile on her face. Ichigo had to turn his face away so she couldn't see the matching smile on his own lips. “C'mon, Rukia, let's go.”
She stood up from the bed and practically ran from the room. Ichigo just followed shaking his head at her excitement while that first small step of peace, slowly infused itself within his body.
God, she loved watching TV so much it made the whole experience seem new to him also. What she lovingly referred to as the “picture box” was probably her favorite invention of the 21st century and despite her constant bragging about how her Chappy the Rabbit drawings were better, she could never seem to take her eyes off the damn thing.
Watching TV with Rukia was so normal and comfortable, that Ichigo almost felt balanced with himself again. He was beginning to realize, that his feelings would most likely not disappear for a while, but until then he could learn to live comfortably with them.
Learning to see Rukia as a companion and friend, a person with her own history and character, not just a body or an untouchable figment of some otherworldly fantasy would be the first step.
“Rukia?” His voice was soft in the dark room with only the television as light.
“Hmm?” Her gaze never traveled far from the TV.
“Do you miss being in Soul Society?”
She looked over in surprise at his personal question, her eyes wide and brows raised. She cleared her throat and looked away. “Why would you ask something like that?”
“It's just that you've been here for a while, I can't image you not being a little homesick, and yet…you never say anything.”
She still wasn't looking at him, but he could feel her hesitation and he prayed for what reason he knew not, that she would not refuse him this answer. She opened her mouth and then closed it again before answering. “I suppose that at times, it feels so surreal being here, that it's not like I'm gone. Sometimes, I wonder that if I weren't being tracked because of my powers and responsibilities, if anybody would even notice that I'm gone.” She gave a sad smile at that and turned away again.
They were both silent after that, as if realizing that something indefinable had taken place between them and both were afraid to say or do anything that would take that level of intimacy even further.
That night while Ichigo laid in bed, he thought of his earlier tactic and wondered why he'd done it. It hadn't really been planned out, he'd just been thinking about wanting to know her better and it had just sort of came out.
He knew one thing though.
It really hadn't helped. As a matter of fact, it might have been downright stupid. It wasn't enough that he was attracted to her but now he wanted to be somebody that made her feel needed, wanted and noticed. That when she left, she would know that she would be missed and it wouldn't be because of any damn powers, but because of the little joys that she brought back into his life.
God, he was an idiot and she was absolutely beautiful. Two constants that fate loved to rub in his face.
He really hated that.
In one of my reviews NissanNut mentioned that they had never pictured Rukia having a great body or being attractive. I believe that everybody has their own type and that sometimes you are attracted to somebody that you would never have believed possible. Your review was my inspiration for this chapter and this was in response to that.
Thank again to everyone for your reviews and please let me know how you think I'm doing!