Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ The Walls Between ❯ The Storm ( Chapter 6 )

The monsoon hit rather unexpectedly. All of the weather bureaus had been reporting that it was supposed to miss Japan almost entirely, with only the fringes of the storm dropping some rain on parts of Kyushu and Shikoku, and giving southern Honshu a beautiful sunset. However, at the last moment the storm veered north, and swept diagonally up the western coast of Honshu to strike Tokyo right at six in the evening.

Daisuke typically arrived home around eight on days when he worked a day shift. Ken, who usually walked in a little earlier than that, wasn't surprised to find the apartment empty when he came home. He took off his shoes, shook the water off his coat and hung up it along with his jacket, and then scrubbed his hair mostly dry with the towel he kept out in the foyer for just such rainy days. He considered changing out of his pants, which were wet around the hem, and into something dryer, but never got around to it. Instead he put on water for tea and poked through the freezer for something that could masquerade as dinner; Daisuke had taken it upon himself to start doing all the cooking, but it was so miserable outside. He was going to be drenched when he got home - since he'd scoffed at the possibility of the monsoon changing course and hadn't taken his raincoat with him - and it occurred to Ken that it would be nice to surprise Daisuke on a night like this to make dinner for him.

After peering at the labels on various things, and muttering that it might be a good idea to have his eyes checked, Ken chose a couple of pre-packaged dinners with the rice and everything included, that required only a little heating. Daisuke would probably be amused by this, since he preferred to cook from scratch and was very good at it. Ken anticipated teasing for not having the courage to so much as make rice in a pot from the raw grain, to which he planned to reply that Courage was Daisuke's domain, and anyway he'd purchased the dinners when he was living alone and they had to be eaten eventually or they would go to waste. He smiled as the entire conversation played itself out in his mind while he turned on the oven to pre-heat, and then mixed himself a cup of tea to wait for Daisuke.

He read the newspaper a little, and began to seriously consider making an appointment for an eye examination. It had been awhile since he'd read something on paper that was longer than a project proposal or a budget, and even those were usually emailed to him. His dislike of hardcopy was something of a running joke among his employees, to the point that whenever someone new was hired, they were told that in order to hide something from Ichijouji-san all they had to do was print it out and leave it in plain sight and he would never see it. However, they also deferred to his preferences, and so he hadn't realized how bad his eyesight was getting until just a couple of days ago.

The idea of glasses made him frown just thinking about it, but there was no way he could stand contact lenses. Ken was very sensitive about his eyes, and picking contact lenses into and out of them would be impossible. Wearing glasses wasn't much better, though; Ken could barely be persuaded to don a pair of sunglasses. Maybe clear prescription glasses would be easier. He'd never needed them, and had no idea if it would feel different, less guilty.

After finishing his tea, he got up to make another cup, and wondered where Daisuke was. Maybe he was just slowed down by the rain. Ken told himself this, but couldn't help a nervous glance at the clock. It was half past eight. Outside, thunder growled threateningly, and occasionally cracked, and the wind whistled and moaned through the streets.

Ken picked through the newspaper a bit more, wishing he could turn on the computer and hook into the company intranet. He had several things to work on, but didn't dare risk his precious electronics during a monsoon. If Daisuke were home, he'd turn on the television and insist that Ken watch something absolutely inane. Daisuke could make even the stupidest program entertaining, just by taking such enthusiastic interest in it, and sometimes Ken let himself be persuaded to take pleasure from whatever silly thing Daisuke was watching. It somehow became funny, rather than irksome, when gaping plot holes emerged from the programs or characters behaved in ridiculous ways, so long as Daisuke was there.

"Stop being so fucking serious about it. It's just a show. Can't you stop being a genius for twenty minutes and just enjoy the program?" Daisuke always said things like that with a laugh and often followed them up with kisses. He could make Ken smile without even doing anything. Just by being nearby. Just by opening his mouth to say something cocky and totally un-self-conscious, or by biting his lip sideways while concentrating hard, or by looking so child-like and adorable while sleeping.

Lacking other things to take his mind off his natural inclination to worry, Ken drained the old water out of the bathtub and re-filled it, so that it would be warm and fresh when Daisuke got home. That only took a few minutes, though, and Ken was at a loss again when it was finished.

Ken found himself wanting to hold Daisuke right that second, but of course that was impossible as Daisuke still wasn't home yet. Checking the clock again, Ken found that it was a few minutes after nine, and his worry took over. He started pacing around the apartment; during one pass through the kitchen, he turned off the oven and put the thawing dinners back into the freezer. He'd pull them back out again once Daisuke got home. He refused to think of what he'd do if Daisuke never got home.

It was a good thing that he'd brought in Daisuke's tree before leaving for work. The wind was demonic, lashing rain against the windows at irregular intervals, and unless something had radically altered since Ken came home it was colder than hell too. Ken peered out the windows at the street several times, but couldn't even see the streetlights through the darkness and mess. What could have happened? Should he do something? Ken wanted to start calling hospitals to find out if Daisuke had been checked into any of them, but that seemed needlessly reactionary, even to himself. No, what he really needed to do was make himself another cup of tea, drink it slowly, and calm down. A lot. In fact, he should probably drop some sake into the tea to bring his nerves down to a reasonable level.

While Ken was in the process of clinging, white-knuckled, to the counter in the kitchen and downing his fifth cup of heavily spiked, too-hot tea, the door rattled. All but leaping out of the kitchen, Ken beheld a dripping-wet, shivering Daisuke just as he stumbled through the door and said, "Fuck, it's awful out there!" It was a quarter 'til ten.

Daisuke was certain that he'd left a river of drippings between the front of the building and the door to Ken's apartment. My apartment, he reminded himself firmly. This is my apartment now, too. His hands were white and clammy beneath the slight, accidental tan that he'd picked up over the summer and his own natural dark shade, and his fingers were somewhat weak with cold. The temperature outside wasn't all that bad, really, but the rain was chill, and the speed of the wind made it bitter. Daisuke's ears rang with the animal howls of the storm while he fumbled with his door key. None of this improved his temper.

Once he finally managed to shove his way into the apartment, he announced his arrival by declaring, "Fuck, it's awful out there!" This also served to vent a little of the frustration that had been building up over the past three hours, which was definitely a plus. He started to take off his jacket, which was soaked through, but suddenly he was attacked from behind and whirled around.

"Daisuke," said Ken softly, just before Daisuke was pulled into a fierce kiss and a tight embrace. Surprised, Daisuke stiffened, but relaxed again after a few seconds. Of course. Ken had been worried about him. He melted into the warmth of Ken's arms, pleased that he had been missed. Ken tasted a little odd, but Daisuke recognized the taste of his tea and dismissed the oddness. He was probably coming down with a cold.

Ken pulled away a moment later, and Daisuke shivered with the loss of warmth. "You're freezing!" said Ken. "Take all this off, all these wet things." Daisuke started to obey, shucking off his dripping jacket, and Ken dropped a towel over his head and started to gently dry off his hair. "What happened to you?"

"Just stupid shit. The fucking power flickered at the train station." Frowning with annoyance, Daisuke started to unbutton his shirt with shaking hands. He liked the feeling of the warm towel rubbing his cold scalp, and once the shirt was undone he leaned back against his lover.

Ken dropped his hands to Daisuke's waist and tugged loose his pants. "I got a bath ready for you. Get out of all this and go get in."

"Oooh," said Daisuke. A warm bath. His flesh goose-pimpled just thinking about. Suddenly, there was nothing in any world that he wanted more. "Thank you." That was so considerate of Ken, to draw a fresh warm bath for him. That was so typically Ken. A grin spread across Daisuke's face; it felt utterly goofy, but he couldn't help it.

Getting the pants off was tricky, since they were so wet, but Ken helped him. Or tried to. Ken seemed to be unusually clumsy at the moment, but Daisuke spared no thought for it. "What happened?" asked Ken again, once that was done and Daisuke was on his way to the bathroom in his underwear with the towel around his shoulders.

"I told you, it was fucking stupid," said Daisuke. "The trains were running late already because of the fucking monsoon, and then the lights went off and I swear it was like a fucking cattle yard for awhile. The lights came right back on again about two minutes later, but everyone had panicked in the meantime and shoved around and I lost my fucking watch somewhere in the crowd and I ended up on the wrong end of the station. So I missed my train and I had to wait for the next one, which was also running late. I was so pissed." Dropping the towel and his underwear on the bathroom floor, Daisuke dipped his hand in the water and winced. "Shit, this is hot."

"I'm sorry," said Ken, and Daisuke could have sworn he saw Ken flinch. That was a ridiculous notion, though. Why would Ken flinch? "It's not that hot, it's just that you're so cold ... I didn't think of that. I'm sorry. Let me cool it for you."

"No. No, it's okay. I'll warm up before I get in, that's all." Daisuke wondered what the hell was going on. He'd never seen Ken hover in quite this manner before, and wasn't sure what to make of it. He moved to rinse himself off, and said, "Look, I said it was fine, okay? Is there any water for tea?"

"Yeah," said Ken. "Yeah, I'll go get you some." He stood, indecisive, in the middle of the room for a moment before shaking his hands and moving off. Daisuke frowned after him.

"Well, whatever," said Daisuke after a moment. He washed himself off, gradually warming the water that he used until he felt more human and less like a cold damp rag. Then he eased himself into the bath, wincing all the way, although it felt wonderful after he was in and accustomed to the temperature. It would be nice to sleep like this, cradled in warmth after having been whipped by cold rain and wind, but of course that was just asking to drown, and Motomiya Daisuke was not going to die by drowning in a bathtub. Eyes closed, he smiled at this absurd thought.

"Here," said Ken softly, and Daisuke opened his eyes to cast his smile upward at his lover. Ken's eyes were dark and very blue, like bruises. He set the cup on the edge of the tub and then sat down next to it. "I'll make dinner tonight," he said.

Daisuke gave a fond chuckle and said, "You don't know how to cook." Then he stretched a little, took the teacup and sipped. It burned his throat ... and not because it was hot. Surprised, Daisuke gasped a little, and some tea went down the wrong way, making him choke and cough.

"What's wrong?" asked Ken anxiously. "Daisuke?" He stood up, and rescued the teacup when Daisuke almost dropped it. Daisuke waved a hand at him and coughed heavily.

"I'm fine," he said, and his voice was hoarse and strained. "I'm all right. What the fuck did you put in there?" He coughed some more, unable to rid himself of the disturbing feeling of having a foreign substance in his lungs, but finally placing the strange aftertaste of the tea. "Did you put sake in the tea?"

"Oh." Ken looked blankly down at the teacup, and then said again, "Oh. I'm sorry. I just ... I'm sorry. I must not be thinking clearly, I'll go get you another cup." A fine flush of color rose into Ken's pale cheeks as he moved as if to leave the bathroom. Daisuke stopped him with a hand on his sleeve.

"Wait just a fucking minute," he said. It all fit now, from the unusual flavor of Ken's welcome-home kiss, to the minimal pause in his words, and the slightly expansive quality of his natural grace. "How much of that have you had? You're fucking drunk, aren't you?"

"No," said Ken, but Daisuke wasn't buying it.

"Come here." He tugged on Ken's sleeve, and when Ken wavered, as if thinking to move away, he repeated, "No, come here. Sit down."

Ken did, but didn't look at Daisuke. He set down the teacup, and then his fingers moved against each other as he stared down at the floor.

"Ken-chan ... what happened? Why were you drinking?" Daisuke had never known Ken to be much of a drinker of alcohol when they were together, but he remembered vividly Ken's story of getting himself stoned in order to find the courage to break it off with Daisuke. That's not why, he told himself. That can't be why. He wanted me here with him. I made Miyako cry for him! He wouldn't dump me after that, would he? Ken's not that cruel, is he? When Ken remained guiltily silent, Daisuke prompted, "Ken-chan?"

"I'm just ..." Ken wrung his hands. "I, I don't know, I just ..." He broke off again.

This was highly weird. Daisuke fought the urge to press a fist into his stomach to combat the queasiness growing there. "Ken, stop this. You're scaring me. You're not ... You're not trying to break up with me again, are you?" Voicing his fear was difficult, but Daisuke felt better once it was out. Ken turned to stare at him.

"Daisuke ... No, I was just ..." To the smaller man's surprise, Ken put his arms around Daisuke's neck and pulled him close. "No, Dai-chan, I love you."

"Then why are you drunk? And stop that, you're strangling me."

Ken released him, but kept mauling his hair with heavy hands. Daisuke's chin was caught and he was forced to look up into his lover's midnight-blue eyes. "I was afraid," said Ken, very slowly and carefully. Daisuke decided that he was just becoming more and more intoxicated, as more sake entered his bloodstream. He must have been drinking right up until the very moment that Daisuke came home.

"Let's put you to bed," said Daisuke. He stood up and grabbed a towel.

"But," said Ken, and there was a long pause before the thought was finished with, "What about your bath?"

"I'm done," said Daisuke. "See? I'm all warm and toasty." And this was true. He began to dry himself off, while Ken watched him with wide eyes.

"What about dinner?" asked Ken. His tone was wondering, and almost childish, and for an instant he sounded like the lost and lonely teenager that Daisuke had first fallen in love with.

Daisuke fondly stroked his silky dark hair. "I'm not really hungry." This was a complete lie, he was famished, but he was also too tired to cook and it would be a bad idea to let Ken near the stove in this condition. Ken accepted the statement at face value, though.

After Daisuke put on a robe and pulled Ken into the bedroom, Ken said, "I'm not drunk, you know."

"Sure you are," said Daisuke. He unbuttoned Ken's shirt and took it off, and then couldn't resist running his hands over the smooth skin of Ken's chest. He could smell the sake on Ken, now that he knew it was there, but it was a pleasant scent when mixed with Ken's faint natural musk. With a soft sound of pleasure, Ken leaned closer to him.

"I'm not drunk," Ken repeated, softly. "I'm not completely drunk. I know what I'm doing."

"So do I," said Daisuke, dropping his lips to Ken's shoulder as he explored his lover's back with his hands. "Sit down."

Ken went down onto the bed when Daisuke reinforced this request with a shove, not so much sitting down as falling across the mattress. Then Daisuke came down on top of him, kissing him deeply. It was rare that Ken got drunk, and Daisuke intended to take full advantage; he loved the feeling of Ken writhing beneath him, as desperate for him as he was for his dark-haired beauty. Something in Daisuke understood Ken's fear for him, and wanted to offer reassurance of his life, his safety, his presence. Ken moaned a little into the kiss, and his breath came heavily as he reached inside Daisuke's robe. Daisuke flinched a little and couldn't help a bit of a giggle, as Ken's hands were very cool on his skin until they warmed.

Kneeling over Ken, Daisuke permitted himself to be stroked and petted while he kissed his lover, and he whimpered when Ken's hands converged on his erection. He had to put a stop to that pretty quickly, though ... Ken's drunkenness made him a little too clumsy and heavy-handed. After he'd guided Ken's hands to caress the insides of his thighs instead, Daisuke sat back on his heels and removed his robe while looking steadily into Ken's dark eyes. Outside, thunder cracked and rolled across the sky, and for just an instant the lights flickered.

"You," said Ken softly, and he struggled to express the rest of this thought. Daisuke watched him, and gently unfastened Ken's pants in the process. As the pants were slipped down over his hips, Ken found the rest of the words he wanted. "I love you," he said. "I'd die if I lost you."

"Don't be stupid," said Daisuke, but he had to admit that he liked hearing things like that. Miyako never said anything remotely like that. So the words came out with affection, and Ken smiled hazily up at him.

"It's true. You're precious. So beautiful. I ..."

"Shhh." Daisuke put his fingers briefly on Ken's lips, and crouched down over him again. With both of them naked and one of them drunk, kissing was an experience. Ken kissed him with need, clinging to Daisuke's shoulders and lipping his chin when Daisuke raised his head a little to catch his breath.

Was it unfair for him to take advantage of Ken this way? Daisuke considered it likely, but he couldn't bring himself to care very much. Ken's hair splayed out across the pillow like dark water, framing his features and all but inviting Daisuke to stroke and run his hands through it. Ken's skin was warm and as smooth as silk; there was no way to reasonably expect Daisuke to be able to keep his hands off. The scent of the sake was unusual and faintly sweet, and Ken was so very aroused that when Daisuke brushed his fingers over the flat point of his lover's hip, Ken groaned and twitched, pushing his pelvis up for contact. It was so easy for Daisuke to do whatever he wanted. He couldn't help it.

Lowering himself atop Ken, Daisuke gave himself over to Ken's eager kiss. Their bodies pressed hotly together, with Daisuke's knees outside of Ken's and Ken's arms around his waist, and Ken wriggled a little as they kissed so that his erection ground into Daisuke's hip.

"Dai-chan," said Ken breathlessly. "You're the only one."

"Mmm-hmmm," agreed Daisuke, as he mouthed Ken's throat and down his collarbone and chest. The skin beneath his lips was so warm.

"No, I mean ... Oh-h-h-h-h ... yes ..." Daisuke grasped Ken's hips to hold him still and began to deeply tongue the sensitive flesh just above the line of hair. When Ken spread his thighs, Daisuke ran his hands in over them, while the tip of Ken's penis brushed his cheek, velvet-soft and hot with arousal. That was Daisuke's next target, changing whatever Ken wanted to say into incoherent groans.

Daisuke felt animalistic. There was something primal about handing out oral sex, about sucking and licking as if at his mother's teat and listening to the shuddering moans that came as a result. He knew that in a few minutes his jaw would start to ache, but at the moment he felt he could do this forever, and he wanted to try so badly. Sinking his thumbs deeply into the tender creases where Ken's thighs joined his body, Daisuke allowed Ken to roughly caress his head and neck, and did nothing even when Ken's fingertips curled in his hair. Ken panted and twisted, in constant motion, so very sexy.

When Daisuke couldn't take it anymore and he released his lover's cock from his mouth, Ken collapsed back onto the bed with languid groans that spoke more eloquently than anything else that he wasn't entirely present at the moment. Daisuke grinned a little as he leaned over to find the lubricant.

"I love you," whispered Ken from deep in whatever alternate world had claimed him. "I need you. I need you." Then he groaned loudly and twitched as Daisuke stroked some lubricant down his penis.

"Mmm-hmmm," said Daisuke, still agreeable to this. Once Ken was slicked up, Daisuke wiped off his hand and arranged himself atop the other man's pale form.

"I can't ... I was so worried."

"I'm safe." Daisuke leaned down to murmur this into Ken's ear. He figured that Ken had probably reached the deepest state of intoxication possible without consuming more alcohol, which was something Daisuke wasn't going to allow, and there was no point in trying to follow his thought processes. Just agreeing with whatever Ken said and reassuring him should anything negative arise was the best course. "I'm here, I'm safe. And I love you, too."

"Do you?"

"Yes." Daisuke reached down and guided Ken's cock into himself, which made them both gasp in pleasure.

As Daisuke knelt back in the first flush of sensation, Ken's hands found his thighs and knees and petted, his palms flat against Daisuke's skin. This put his hands dangerously close to Daisuke's erection, so Daisuke laced their fingers and moved forward, holding Ken's hands down against the bed to either side of his head. "Yes," moaned Ken. "Yes."

There was very little that Daisuke could imagine that would be more erotic than being fucked by Ken. Being fucked by a drunk Ken who surrendered totally to the sensations, moving his hips in a slow and artless fashion with his eyes closed, came close; it was more like fucking Ken than being fucked by Ken. After a little while, Daisuke had to gather both of Ken's wrists into one hand and hold them above his lover's head, so that he could use his other hand to first tease Ken's nipples and skin, and then massage his own cock. Ken didn't seem to mind this, and did nothing to free his wrists. In fact, Daisuke imagined through his pleasure that Ken rather liked it. When Daisuke climaxed and leaned, panting, against the hand on Ken's wrists for support, Ken twisted a little and breathed softly, "You're everything."

"Uh-huh," exhaled Daisuke, as pleasurable chills ran through him in waves and he fought to catch his breath. Ken's penis still moved inside him, and every slow thrust seemed timed to amplify the clenching of his muscles. He was disappointed to hear Ken gasp and feel him come as well.

Daisuke curled up against Ken's side afterward. Although he was pretty tired, he had no intention of going to sleep before scrounging something to eat out of the kitchen. Despite that, it was nice to rest for awhile and bask in the afterglow. It was also nice to have Ken kissing his shoulders over and over. It made him feel loved.

"Tell me again what possessed you to hit the liquor cabinet," murmured Daisuke.

"I was worried about you," said Ken. "I was so worried, you were so late and it was raining and ..."

"Shhh-shhh." Daisuke laid a finger over Ken's lips. "It's all right, I'm fine, see?"

"I was so worried," said Ken again, before falling silent and nuzzling his neck again.

Daisuke didn't like this nearly so much as the kisses. It disturbed him, to think that Ken was so upset by him being only two hours late. What if he decided some evening to go take in a movie by himself or with some friends from work? Would he need to call Ken and let him know, every time, or risk having his lover fall to this sort of state again? This had never been a problem before, because he hadn't had a job before, or any friends, and in fact he'd rarely left the apartment because Ken's jealousy would engage whenever he did. Things wouldn't be like that this time around. Ken had promised it, but more importantly Daisuke had promised it to himself. He wasn't addicted to Ken. He liked Ken ... he even loved Ken ... but he could live without Ken if necessary.

So that wouldn't happen, but still. One of Daisuke's married co-workers had to check in with his wife whenever the bunch of them wanted to do anything together after work, and sometimes she denied him permission and he couldn't join in. Daisuke didn't want to have to do that. He wasn't married to Ken, and he balked instinctively away from this infringement on his freedom.

"Miyako never worried like this," he murmured, thinking aloud.

A few minutes later, recovered from the sex, Daisuke eased himself away from Ken's grasp. Putting his robe back on, he padded out into the kitchen to find something quick and easy to eat, so that he could hurry up and get back into bed.

Left alone, Ken snuggled up to a pillow. He wasn't totally conscious, but he wasn't asleep either; the distant sounds of the storm were soothing, as were the sounds of Daisuke moving about the apartment, but his mind whirled with the abandon of intoxication and wouldn't let him sleep.

"Miyako never worried like this," he repeated softly, smiling faintly. "Miyako never loved you the way I do. You know that I love you, don't you, Dai-chan, my Dai-chan, you know. You know."