Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Blessed Union of Souls ❯ There's Your Trouble... You're Seeing Double! ( Chapter 5 )

Author's Notes: Bulma and rest of the gang land on Xylarsei and chaos ensues... Queen Eusiphene (Yoo-sif-fanee) confesses her worries to the group, and.. like always.. chaos ensues. They soon discover that King Masha is on a quest of his own, and that the Senate Federation needs him to help defend themselves from Freeza's attacks upon their planet.

A Blessed Union Of Souls

Chapter Five: There's Your Trouble... You're Seeing Double!

The landing on Xylarsei was uneventful. Sayuri was just glad they landed safely, unlike the debacle on Vejitasei. Once she had satisfactorily mchecked everyone for scrapes, bruises, or any other inflictions she could be held liable for, she pronounced the landing safe. They were currently docking at the Royal Port. Sayuri, Yokono, Spyke, and Samantha were instructed to stand guard with the Queen as they searched through Ptero. The humans, and Namek were never going to to leave the planet alive if they dallied off.

It was essential that they left as quickly as possible. It was not wise to detached from one's soul for too long.. It could cause problems. They had been briefed by Bulma on the appropriate way to address Eusiphene. Bulma thought the woman to be slightly eccentric, but other than that, she greatly enjoyed her company.

After being escorted through the numerous corridors, they finally reached the kingdom hall. A place where the monarchy, sat omnipotent. Bulma smiled at the Queen as they entred, and was cherful awhen the smile was returned. Bulma bowed slightly, and Kakkarot bowed on one knee, while Vejita, ChiChi, Piccolo, and Yajirobei followed accordingly. Queen Eusiphene bowed in response, and sat back down, but not before eyeing Chiaotzu.

"You do not bow child?" She said through slanted green eyes. Eusiphene was rather tall woman. She had a brown skin. Her hair was spun silk with dark brown hair, almost black. She could easily be confused with Saiyan save for her telling emerald eyes. Her skin looked slightly red. It reminded her of Nappa somehow. She did not possess a tail but she did have a Saiyan's stature. Bulma admired the woman, and had come to know her as a surrogate mother. Although no one compared to her own mother Queen Becka.

"I did not bow as it is not customary for children to do so in this kingdom..." He said smugly crossing his arms. Both Eusiphene and Bulma grinned wickedly.

"You are a wise brat aren't you?" She said rhetorically. Chiaotzu smiled brightly.

Bulma looked at the golf ball sized moon orbiting her head. She gestured for the Vejitasei warriors to sit down at the lengthy table. From the looks of things Xylarsei was in bad shape. They desperately needed their King back. Something was definitely wrong when the Land Of The Mundane was in chaos.

"Why do you think Masha would leave?" Bulma asked sitting comfortably in a chair. "When we last spoke, Ptero and Pyramid was at a peaceful state. At least for them anyway..." Her voice trailed off..

"Bulma, Masha went to Neleh*.." She started slowly, waiting for her reaction. Bulma's mouth fell open shocked.

"What?! No one has ever even been past Cone! Which moon is this?" Bulma said her face as white as sheet. Eusiphene sighed, and leaned back ahainst her chair.

"Neleh is the sixth moon. The Eusiphene there will most likely know how to get to our- my husband. I know it is dangerous but you are the strongest one. I need you. Xylarsei needs you. How are we to conduct trade agreements without the King. " Bulma gave her a pointed look. "Bulma, I know that I could continue on as planned, but what about the Senate Federation in this quadrant of the Saiyan Empire? We are loyal to the crown and when we seek help, you turn us away?!" She said uproariously.

"Don't you lecture me, you bitch! If you weren't my mentor I'd blast you!" She growled angrily. Eusiphene's face softened a bit. She knew, as well as Kakkarot, that was Bulma's way of agreeing to go on the mission. "It will be dangerous, but you can take any of my soldiers with you." Bulma shook her head no.

"I will take Kakkarot and these Vejitaseians. You know it is too dangerous in the Land Of The Mundane. They must come along. We need to leave immeditaely for Ptero, I have to get back to Earth soon. Sayuri, and Spyke will watch over our bodies while we are away. " She said glancing at her crew. "As will you I trust?"

It was a veiled threat but the Queen recognized it. She may have been Bulma's surogate mentor, but she wasn't Saiyan, and if anything happened to her body, or the bodies of everyone else, Spyke, and Sayuri had been instructed to kill her. She knew this but said nothing. No one got away with treason to Empire. If she were to be responsible for their deaths she would die as punishment, as well as her entire planet.

The Queen instructed them to lie down on their backs ascomfortably as possible. She instructed them to remain calm, and clear their minds. Before she began the process, she each handed them a bag. It's contents were known only to her. They were not open the bags until they were told by Bulma. Bulma had done this many times, and was aware of everything around her. Kakkarot could catch the gist of things, but he would need a little help.

Bulma could feel herself leaving her body. They were now in sipirit form. She watched the others. Vejita was having an uncomfortable reaction. His mind told him that this could not be possible.. People did niot just leave their physical forms like this. It was another one of those 'If I habd't seen it with my own eyes' things. He could see in a sense that he visually his own body, but nothing else. Was this supposed to happen?

Everyone else, like Vejita was experiencing the same thing. None could see the other, merely their own bodies at rest. He was beginning to become panicked. Why wasn't he able to see the others?He tried talking. He found that speech was possible, but his mouth didn't move. This enraged him even more. He lacked the verbal dexterity to express himself! Damn Saiyan baka onna!

"I can't see anything!" He said as loudly as possible. "Calm down. Imagine yourself with an eye. Bulma responded irritably. Vejita obeyed, and was pleased to discover that he could see. It was blurrred but was becoming clear. "Now imagine your body as you would like to have it seen." By now everyone had done that, and it was a strange sight to behold!

ChiChi had imagined herself to have a pair of jeans, and a maroon l red hoodie. She wore black tennis shoes and ooser hair. Bulma thought it was a flattering look for her. Piccolo remained pretty much the same except that his clothes seemed finer. Chiaotzu had grown sloightly and heno longer wore clothing resembling that of a clown. His clotheswere modest, like ChiChi's and resembled Vejitaseian clothing. Vejita looked exactly the same. However he wore fine, almost god like clothing.

Kakkarot looked pretty much the same except he looked exactly like a King. He wore clothing similar to the robes her father wore. His armor had the Earth emblem, and atop his wild hair, a tiny crown rested there. Of all, Yajirobei was the most comical. He was no longer the tall extremely obese man that she knew. He had been replaced by a tall, handsome man remotely resembling himself. He had smooth muscles, and he wore a smile.

ChiChi and Bulma could not help but laugh at that! He looked well.. not at all like himself! Talk about having a high opinion of oneself. He looked hurt, and all the males looked curiously at the women. ChiChi began to laugh so much tears came down her eyes. Bulma rested her back against ChiChi's as they gave into a fit of giggles. The rare comradery was a welcome relief of their normal bickering.

"You .. you're going to steal all the ladies with that look!" Bulma said rolling on the ground. ChiChi nodded agreeing. "Yea, the women here will probably try to kill us for you.. But don't worry, we'll be happy to give you to 'em!" She said chuckling.

Bulma herself, had thought she looked rather strange herself. Instead of blue hair, her hair had become black as night, and her eyes; even darker. Her cerulean tail was now brown. Her hair no longer had it's soft curls, but Saiyan bouyancy so commonly found in other members of her species.

"Where are we?" Chiaotzu asked , amazed at what he saw. They were alongside a beach, and so far he could not see anyone around, The sign on the pole read Clemen Sea. They looked to her in confusion. She sighed rolling her eyes. The Clemen Sea is the forgiving sea. If a person has wronged another, or seeks forgiveness for what he has done to himself, he takes a dip into the sea. Get it, clemency? They all nodded their heads in understanding. Even Kakkarot smiled at his comprehension.

"As I've said everything is taken literally. Except on Xylarsei." She explained. Everyone let out 'ohs..'

"We are in the land of the humanoids. Since the majority of us resemble, or are humanlike we were sent here. Actually, since I belong that group we came here." She said in after thought. Vejita nodded, but then a thought hit him.

"Then why is Piccolo here? He is not human like." Vejita countered. She smirked at his insight. She hadn't expected any of them to catch that snafu.

"He has lived amoung humans, and is considered family by at least one, if not all of you so he belongs in this group."

They could hear running coming up, and saw two people. They were purple with yellow hair, and both were male. They both looked like brothers, and they were about fourteen years old. Bulma stopped them, and brought them to the group.

"Hello strangers, could you perhaps tell me where Queen Eusiphene is?" She said politely as possible. The two exchanged looks and smirked. They crossed their arms and grinned.

"Iam Bulma, who are you?"

"We are the Hurry twins." Said the female. My name is Imina."She gestured toward the boy. "This is my brother Imino." Everyone looked confused for a momemnt except Bulma. Chiaotzu whispered in her ear, and Bulma nodded. He smiled triumphantly.

I'm in a Hurry! and I'm in no Hurry!" He giggled. "I like this! It's so cool!" He said grinning. Only when you know what you are doing it can be dangerous kid. She said to herself.

"You must give us something in exchange for information." They said in unison, one eying Bulma the other eyeing Kakkarot. Bulma rolled her eyes, perturbed. She turned to the group. On each of the moons, if you want something you have to trade. Can't get something for nothing. Through goods, services, or information. She turned to face the boys again.

"What would you like" She asked her voice losing it's sweetness and returning to it's normal tone. The boys highfived each other.

"You have to give us a kiss-"one began "on the mouth." The girl visibly flinched. "A cheek kiss will be just fine thank you!" The other finished. Bulma shook her head in frustration. She then remembered something vitally important.

"Deal. But do you know where she is?" The boys giggled, and looked at the group michieviously.

"Nope. Never seen Queen Eusiphene in my life!" They said together. Bulma began growling and was about to blast them, when she was reminded that they had a deal. She owed them a kiss. Bulma smirked, and looked around the beach.

"BULMA!!" She yelled waiting for something.

"What is she doing Kakkarot?" ChiChi. Kakkarot smiled with mirth. "You'll see. Watch." He said looking at the three dealmakers.

Suddenly out of nowhere a young girl appeared. She looked almost exactly like Bulma except that her hair was red, her eyebrpws were red, and she even sported a red tail. She looked to be the same age as the two boys. The young girl looked at her older counterpart and frowned.

"Why have you summoned me?" She saked herself angrily.

"I made a deal with these brats, and it turned out to be crooked. As part of our trade, you must kiss both of them on the mouth." She said making a face.

Bulmared (whom we shall hitherto refer to might-be Bulma as) was furious. Thanks to her no good mundane self she was now stuck cleaning up her mess!

"Grrr... You are so annoying Bulma!" Bulmared spat out. She quickly kissed each boy, but not before properly kicking them on the rear. They scurried off frightened. "That will teach you to mess with the Princess of Saiyans!" She said shaking her fists.

"You may go Bulmared.." Bulma said to her younger counterpart, and the girl smirked and shot Kakkarot an odd expression before disappearing.

"What was that?" Vejita blurted out. "She looked exactly like you!" He said in confused awe. Bulma groaned. She hoped they wouldn't be doing this the entire trip.

"Baka. She is me. A possible me. From a future yet to come. Maybe even an alternate universe. Haven't you got it yet?Xylarsei is an exemplary planet. It's underworlds are constantly changing. When we leave, the might-be versions of us leave as well. Yajirobei nodded fearfully.

"Okay, I understand that, but why were you the same age as those boys. Shouldn't you be the age you are now.." He sighed plopping on the ground. "I don't understand.."

"I know it is confusing but after a little while you will begin to understand what is going on. The reason why I was fourteen years old is because of where we are on Ptero. Time depends solely on Geography. If we were to head east we would grow younger, if we head west, we are older. We do not age rapidly on Ptero. "

They began to walk for quite some time, until they heard running from the distance. Running towards their direction.

"Majesty, I think I see an ogre coming on high." He said squinting in the distance. "He may have information about how to find Eusiphene." Bulma nodded, and they watched him get closer. Bulma turned quickly to the group. Remember everything is literal, at least for the puns, and things may not be as they seem. ChiChi nodded, moving closer to Vejita.

"Ogre's are incredibly stupid creatures, it's not easy to taklk with them. Damn near difficult. " Bulma admitted.

"Ogre! Stop! We wish to speak with you." Kakkarot began holding his hand out. The ogre stopped and looked menacingly at the group. Everyone except Kakkarot and Bulma were disgusted by his presence. He smelled horrible! There were flies circling his head, and his breath smelled of feces. He had a green vapor trail of stink around him, and it was nearly unbearable.

"From dawn to dawn, me ogre, you human!" He barked out angry to have been interrrupted. Goku nodded, and tried not to focus on the ogre's incredible stench.

Kakkarot rolled his eyes. "Let's have an ugly contest. The loser has to answer a question winner asks if he knows the answer. If he does not know the answer the game is a tie. Agreed?"

Se me: Orgy. Agree." He said in rhyme. Orgy Ogre looked over the group and returned back to Kakkarot.

"Do you have mirror?" He asked.

"Mirror lack. Ogre crack." Was the response Orgy gave. Kakkarot sighed, the noticed that the sea shoreline had been replaced by a stream. He hadn;t realized they had been traveling so far.

"What about that small pool over there?" Kakkarot said gesturing to the pool. "We could use that to see who is ugliest." He observed.

"Me say okay. Sure pool. It cool." He grunted out, and the group watched as fleas fled from the ogre's head. He must be thinking. Thought Piccolo.

Kakkarot bent over the water and saw he looked the same. "Ugly.." He smirked. Orgy Ogre did the same thing and the water shrank and swooshed away from him. Everyone watched impressed by the ogre's ability to make water flee from him.

"I'm impressed you really are uglier than me." He said in defeat. "I've never been able to make water do that. You must be a legend amoung your kind, right guys?" Kakkarot said to the group. They all did seem to be impressed by the ogre's unique ability.

"No, I am merely an average Ogre, "Orgy said sadly. "But thank you for the compliment."

Kakkarot jumped back. "You're not rhyming!" Orgy smirked.

"Of course I'm not. No ogre rhymes. It is your perception that has changed." Kakkarot looked confused. "You still look the same to me."

"True, but now you and your comrades see me as an idividual instead of a monster. You have achieved respect so that now you hear me as I am."

Kakkarot digested this information while the rest of the group listened intently. "You mean all ogres are cultured intelligent creatures?"

"That depends on your perception. If you see us as individuals, respect us then the monster facade is gone." He informed.

"Technically, I won the ugly contest, so you have to answer my question. That's the way it goes." He said smugly, but paused. "You did, however learn to respect me so I guess I can help you.." He gestured for them to come into the house they had come walking by. "What do you all wish to know?"

"Where is Queen Eusiphene?" Bulma said, looking around the giant castle the ogre called home. "It is imperative we find her. We are on a mission." She said confidentially.

"I don;t know friend, but you should try the other side. Tight over the comic strip.." He said pointing ahead. They thanjed the ugly ogre and resumed walking. Bulma hated whatw as about to happen next, but swallowed her fears.

"Listen you all. This is the comic strip. Everything is a pun, and is to be taken seriously. Stay close to me, and don't stop walking. We're about to enter the core of insanity.." She said highly annoyed.

The saw a sign up ahead which read:

PUNNSYLVANIA PUNITENTIARY: ABANDON SANITY ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE!

"We have no choice!" Bulma said grimly. "How I hate the comic section!"

They began walking through the strip and saw a buillbored. It seemed to have been fashioned out of unpaid bills that had gotten bored with their inaction. So clumped together, they were a dangerous c0ombination. The sign said BORING. Vejita was extremely close to it, and Bulma yanked him away. "Don't touch that!" She yelled. He quirked an eyebrow confused. "If you do you'll have to pay bills forever!"

ChiChi began laughing insanely, and Vejita became upset. "That wasn' funny! I don't want to pay anything!" She still continued to laugh. "I'm not laughing at you. I stuck in this article." Bulma looked down to ChiChi's feet. Wrapped around her leg was an R-Tickle plant.Bulma snapped it off, and they continued walking.

They passed by a large man who remained still. He looked to be even bigger than ogre, but he did not move.

"What's that?" Yajirobei asked impatiently. "He's just standing there doing nothing."

"That's a Man-Age-Mint." She explained and continued walking on. Finally they had come to a huge swamp in the middle of the comic strip which led to the other side of the strip. Bulma looked around and sighed.

"Open your bags, we need help getting across.: She said looking at the murky water, and she knew there were dangers ahead. She thought she saw Venetian blinds, but it could have been something else. "There may be Venetian blinds here so be careful." She warned.

"Everyone opened their bags. Each had a different item and gasped at what they saw inside.

Footnotes: End of Chapter Five! What do you think? Too much? Too little? I hope you got the puns. I'll try to explain some of them, but others are pretty easy. Thanks for reading and reviewing so far! Appreciate it! Itold you the waiting paid off! Look at that! Two chapters in two days!

-Shanni

P.S. My birthday is August 22nd, 2002! Wish me a happy 18th!