Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Ebony and Ivory ❯ "Do you hate me now?" ( Chapter 36 )

A/N: Sorry about the unusually long wait. I didn't have this chapter ready before going away on a weekend visit, and I couldn't update while I was away.

 

A/N 2: This first part is slightly confusing… I broke Kyo's perspective for a while, and now that it's back to him, we go back to where he left off, i.e. right after he transformed.

 

 

CHAPTER 36: “Do you hate me now?”

 

Kyo was running, despite his pain. He didn't know why. Something about being in his true form made him feel the need to run and hide. Then he heard a scream, and had stopped just inside the forest and whirled around. It was Yuki.

 

“What are you doing?!” Yuki was screaming, “I did what you told me to do!” Kyo didn't catch what else Yuki was screaming, but he saw Yuki lunge at Akito, trying to get the bracelet back. Shigure and Hatori held him down, and then he suddenly fainted. Kyo stood for a moment, in a panic of indecision, then kept running. Yuki would be fine. He had to get away.

 

At last he stopped, somewhere deep in the forest. The pain had lessened into a dull throb that he felt throughout his body, and he forced himself to calm down. What was happening? Why had Akito taken his bracelet? No, these questions could wait. They could wait a minute. Breathe, Kyo, breathe. He took several deep breaths, recoiling at his own stench. The rain burned him like acid, but he managed at last to relax. “You have the rat to thank for this.” “I did what you told me to do!”

 

Kyo moaned, startled that it came out as a roar. What did it all mean? What had happened? I said too much. How had that happened? He had been tired and dizzy because of the rain, but something had been different. Akito had called him Kyo. Akito never called him Kyo. And he had acted gentle, normal. He'd actually forgotten it was Akito. What had he said during that time? I can't believe I fell for it! How could I have been that stupid?! Kyo clawed at a tree, tearing it down. Now, now that it was too late, he was clear-headed.

 

Calm down, stupid cat. Kyo sighed, something that came out in a growl. Why had Akito taken his bracelet? “You have the rat to thank for this.” Why? Had Yuki told Akito to take his bracelet? Because he hated Kyo? But then, why had Yuki been trying to get it back. “I did what you told me to do!” What had Akito told Yuki to do?

 

Kyo felt a momentary sense of sheer panic again, for no apparent reason. It was so hard to think in this form that seemed to have a mind of its own. Stop freaking out. It's not going to do you any good. What had happened just before Akito took the bracelet? Akito had been talking about Yuki and Kyo being friends again, about Kyo talking to Yuki. Kyo had agreed. Stupid! He was supposed to be acting like he thought Yuki hated him. He didn't know why anymore, but he knew that was what he had to do. And he had failed. No wonder Yuki didn't trust him. He couldn't even fake it for one ten-minute conversation.

 

“He was only acting like that for your own good.” How was it helping Kyo that Yuki was pretending to hate him? “I need to teach him a lesson.” Punishment. Kyo losing his bracelet was Yuki's punishment. Of course. That was Akito's way, wasn't it? He didn't punish people individually. He punished others because of them, so they would feel at fault. And he'd already figured that out, hadn't he? Someone had said something about the army. What did the army have to do with the bracelet? Kyo shook his head, confused. “I did what you told me to do!” What had Yuki been told to do?

 

Kyo's mind whirled, and the rain stung. For a while he could not think at all. All he could remember was Akito calling him a monster, and Yuki, his best friend, turning on him. Was it all true? Did Yuki really hate him? Was this why? Acid tears came to his eyes, burning his face. It made sense. Kyo hated himself in this form.

 

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Yuki lay on the sofa. He had been out for nearly half an hour.

 

“He'll wake up soon,” Hatori said.

 

Shigure was silent for a moment. “He'll go after him.”

 

Hatori frowned. “He can't. He's sick.”

 

“He will anyway.”

 

“I won't let him.”

 

Shigure sniffed. “You won't be able to stop him.”

 

Hatori thought for a minute. “I could give him something now, to keep him under for a while.”

 

“He'll hate you for it.”

 

There was a pause. Hatori looked at Yuki. Of all the younger Juunishi, he had always felt the most responsible for Yuki. “Shigure, do you have any idea what the weather is like out there? And I have no idea how Kyo feels toward Yuki right now. The last time he was in his true form, he hurt both Yuki and Tohru. Yuki's not in any condition to go running through the woods after Kyo.”

 

Shigure was quiet for a minute. “If he did, though… is there anything you could give him now that would bolster his lungs against the weather?”

 

Hatori closed his eyes. Then he went to Yuki's room and retrieved a bottle and a hypodermic needle. “If I give him a little cortisone, and he takes his inhaler with him… he should do better. But I'm not going to let him go if I have any control over it.” He gave Yuki the injection. “He could use something to calm him anyway, once he wakes up and realizes what happened.” Hatori retrieved Yuki's inhaler from his room, then sat down beside Shigure on the floor beside the sofa. They waited.

 

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Yuki's mind felt cloudy. He had been drugged. He felt a sudden surge of anger that helped to wake him up. Why had he been drugged? Then he remembered, and forced himself to open his eyes. “Kyo…”

 

“Yuki? You're awake?” Hatori's voice.

 

“Where's Kyo?”

 

“He's off somewhere,” came Shigure's voice.

 

“Akito…”

 

“Gone home,” Hatori said. “With the bracelet.”

 

Yuki felt a black despair settle over him as this began to set in. He had failed. He had failed Kyo. And now Kyo was in his true form somewhere, and Yuki couldn't even go to him. Then suddenly a sort of desperate, reckless clarity came to Yuki's mind. Why couldn't he go to Kyo? Akito had taken Kyo's bracelet already. Yuki couldn't get it back, and had failed, but now Akito's hold over him was gone. It was better than nothing, even if Kyo probably hated him enough right now to kill him. But Yuki didn't fear death anymore. Not really.

 

He sat up. Shigure and Hatori were sitting nearby. He got to his feet, a little shakily.

 

“Yuki, what are you doing?” Hatori asked.

 

“I'm finding Kyo,” Yuki replied. His voice was calm, sure.

 

“It's raining, Yuki! You're sick!”

 

Yuki looked at him, eyes almost black. “Don't you dare try to stop me,” he said softly, biting off every word.

 

“Yuki, stay put! Shigure will go after him!”

 

“I'm going!” Yuki's fists were clenched, and his tone was the same as when he had threatened to call Akito. He suddenly felt certain that he would have done it.

 

Hatori recognized the edge, and turned to Shigure, as though expecting him to help. Shigure, however, remained silent for a moment. “Yuki, you did all this to protect him, didn't you?”

 

Yuki opened his mouth, unsure what to say.

 

“Shigure, he's a child. We need to keep him safe.”

 

“Shigure-nii, please let me go,” Yuki said. His voice was still calm, but his eyes pleaded. He knew he could overpower Hatori, but not both men.

 

Shigure looked at him for a second, then nodded. “Take Kyo-kun's jacket with you. He'll be cold if he changes back.”

 

Yuki's eyes widened and he made a rush for the closet. Hatori caught him. “Yuki…”

 

“Hatori, I have to do this.”

 

“Then take your inhaler!” Hatori angrily shoved it into his hand and Yuki put it in his pocket. In seconds, Yuki's jacket was on and Kyo's was bundled in his arms. He put his boots on, and ran.

 

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Tohru came home late, with a strong feeling that something was not right. She entered the house. “I'm home!” she called.

 

“Ah, Tohru-kun,” came Shigure's voice from the kitchen. “Welcome back.”

 

Tohru entered the kitchen, where Hatori and Shigure were sitting at the table, both looking worried. “Um… where is Kyo-kun?”

 

“Somewhere out there.” Hatori gestured vaguely. “In his true form.”

 

“What?!” Tohru's heart raced with alarm as she ran for her shoes. “I have to go—”

 

“Sit down, Tohru-kun,” Hatori said. “One person after him in that weather is bad enough.”

 

“What? Who is…?”

 

“Yuki-kun,” Shigure answered.

 

“But… I thought Yuki-kun hated Kyo-kun.”

 

“Apparently it was all something Akito made him do.”

 

“Akito?”

 

“Akito was the one who stole Kyo's bracelet.”

 

“I shouldn't have gone to work!” Tohru cried suddenly.

 

Both men looked at her blankly. “Tohru-kun, let Yuki-kun find him,” Shigure said. “He needs to.”

 

“But…”

 

“They'll come back,” Shigure said calmly. He looked at Hatori. “I'm sure of it.”

 

Hatori sighed. “I shouldn't have let him go.”

 

“Haa-san, he already had lost all respect for us because we failed to protect Kyo. Did you want him to hate you too?”

 

“I'm not concerned with his opinion of me.”

 

“Are you concerned with his opinion of himself? Because that's why he's not getting better. You need to let him solve things. And anyway, at this point, there's nothing any of us can do.” He turned to Tohru. “This is between them.”

 

Tohru stood for a moment in silence. “Yes,” she said at last. “I'm going out to the back porch to wait for them.” She slipped on her shoes at the door.

 

“I'll come too,” Shigure said.

 

Hatori sighed. “Yuki will almost certainly be sick when he gets back. I should be there.” Within two minutes, all three were sitting on the back porch, waiting.

 

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After a long while, Kyo pulled himself out of his cloud of despair, and tried to remember what he had been thinking about. Where was I? He thought back. “I need to teach him a lesson.” Oh. Right. This was punishment for something Yuki did. Or rather didn't do. Except Yuki thought he did do it. This is way too complicated. Yuki hadn't seemed surprised that Akito was taking Kyo's bracelet. Well he had, but it had seemed like he had known about it before it happened. Like it had been threatened. That was it. It had been a threat. And it was probably a pretty serious one, like Akito taking the bracelet permanently. Kyo felt a horror and a panic sweep over him at the very thought, followed again by despair. But now he forced himself out of it.

 

What did he know so far? Akito had been using Kyo's bracelet as a hold over Yuki. To get him to do something. What? To not play the piano? To come back to the Main House? The second didn't work at all, until just recently. Yuki hadn't been playing the piano. And besides, Akito hadn't been talking to Kyo about the piano just before stealing the bracelet. He had been talking about Yuki hating Kyo, or rather not hating Kyo. That he was hating Kyo for Kyo's own good.

 

Kyo's mind threatened to wander again. Kyo held on tightly to his thoughts, but forgot how he had gotten to them, and had to backtrack. At last he came to this conclusion: Akito had taken Kyo's bracelet because Kyo thought there was a possibility that Yuki didn't hate him. Therefore, Akito must have told Yuki that Yuki had to make Kyo believe he hated him, or Akito would take Kyo's bracelet. How did I get there again? He searched his thoughts, wishing suddenly that he had a pencil and paper to write this down. Not that he could, though, without fingers. Finally, he caught up. Okay, moving on. So that was why Yuki had said that he had done what Akito had told him to do. He had acted like he hated Kyo. He had made Kyo believe it for a long time.

 

But what did Tohru have to do with any of this? Kyo sighed, trying to figure it out. If Yuki was protecting Tohru by hating Kyo, then why was Kyo the one being attacked because of Yuki instead of Tohru? Not that he would have preferred Tohru to be attacked, but… He paused, and thought about this. When had Yuki ever said Tohru had anything to do with it? But then, who was Yuki protecting?

 

Kyo's mind was blank for several minutes, but this time he didn't lose his train of thought. Then he froze, and suddenly felt very, very stupid. Tohru never had anything to do with it! The friend Yuki was protecting was me! He had to pretend to hate me so Akito wouldn't steal my bracelet! Kyo stared straight ahead for several minutes, processing this. Then he felt angry. Damn it, Yuki! I don't need to be protected! If you had told me at the beginning, I could have protected myself! He forced down his anger, trying to think clearly. Why did Akito do this, though? Then he remembered his conversation with Saito. The piano. This is Yuki's punishment for playing the piano. He lost the piano, and he had to hurt me and stop being my friend. And just to make sure it was done, Akito held my bracelet over his head.

 

It had to be. And now, now that Yuki thought Kyo knew, he wanted to go back to the Main House to stop himself from revealing his secret, to protect Kyo. All this time, it had all been for Kyo. Yuki's depression now was over Kyo. And that was why he couldn't tell Kyo, because it was Kyo he was protecting. Damn it, he didn't have to protect me! I can take care of myself! He didn't have to do all of this! Kyo breathed hard, not knowing what to think. But he did it because he cares. It couldn't have been easy. He was willing to go back to the Main House for me. It was stupid that he thought I needed to be protected. It was stupid! Kyo clawed at the ground slightly. But it was kind. And… and if he does like me… if all the hatred was a lie… then he really wanted to be my friend. He even still thought of me as a friend, and said so in his letter to Saito-san. He liked being my friend. But he was willing to give it up to keep me safe. That… that's a pretty major thing… I think. But damn it, he hurt me!

 

“Kyo-nii…”

 

Kyo turned with a sharp growl, alarmed. Yuki stood a few yards away, panting, leaning against a tree. His breathing was raspy. Yuki had come after him? Kyo stood still as Yuki approached.

 

“Please… don't run away.” Yuki stumbled a few times, but came within a few feet of Kyo. Close enough for Kyo to kill him. Kyo could tell from Yuki's face that Yuki was very well aware of this fact. Now Yuki knelt to the ground. “You need to come home,” he whispered in a voice of forced calm, looking up at Kyo. “Please…” For once, he seemed to be trying to take the mask off, to show that there was no hatred in his eyes. There was fear, and worry, and uncertainty, and guilt, but not hatred. No, in place of hatred there was love.

 

Kyo looked away. He felt a quiet surge of anger. I didn't need to be protected, you damn rat! He sighed, and Yuki winced at what sounded like a growl. But he did it because he cares. Kyo dug his claw very slightly into the ground. Damn it. “What?” he said at last, looking at Yuki. “Do you…” His tone was harsh. Yuki was already trembling. He looked like one angry word from Kyo right now would tear him to pieces. “Do you…” Gentler. Kyo sighed. “Do you hate me now…” “We're not brothers!” “…Yuki-nii?”

 

Yuki's face changed. He looked up at Kyo, and suddenly the mask came off. “No,” he whispered. Then his eyes moistened. “I never did.” He was already crying. “I'm sorry,” he said, and then suddenly he was sobbing. Kyo backed away a step, unsure what to do. Yuki was crying? Yuki cried? Why was he crying? How could Kyo stop it? Kyo couldn't even touch him without hurting him.

 

“Yuki-nii…” His voice was drowned out by Yuki's sobs. All he could catch from Yuki was “I'm sorry,” again and again. Kyo watched helplessly, wishing he could at least give Yuki a hug. “Yuki,” he said again, “calm down.” How on earth can you be more freaked out than I am?

 

Kyo barely noticed it when the rain stopped. He actually didn't take note until he felt himself changing back, felt his skin and bones realigning. It hurt like hell, but then it was over. Kyo saw his jacket in Yuki's arms and quietly removed it, putting it on. Then he realized that Yuki's sobs were turning into coughs, and gasps for breath. Please don't let him be having another attack… “Yuki, you've got to calm down.” He took his cousin by the shoulders. “Do you have your inhaler?”

 

By this time, Yuki's sobbing had ceased and there was fear in his eyes. He began to fumble for his left pocket, but he was shaking. Kyo pulled the inhaler out of the pocket and handed it to Yuki, who used it. A minute or two later, Yuki's breathing calmed. His breath still rasped, but he was no longer coughing. Then he began to cry again.

 

“Yuki, it's okay,” Kyo said quietly, trying to smile a little for his cousin's benefit. “Here, it's okay.” He tentatively began to draw Yuki close, and Yuki hugged him tightly. For the first time in months. Kyo felt tears in his own eyes. I have him back.

 

Yuki wouldn't let go, and now he seemed to be crying with relief. Who knew how long he had gone without being hugged? How long he had wanted to be? “I'm sorry,” Yuki kept whispering through his tears. “I'm so sorry.”

 

“Shh,” Kyo whispered. “I get it. It's okay.” His voice broke, and a soft sob escaped him before he whispered again, “Just breathe, all right? It's going to be okay.” He felt Yuki nod against his shoulder. “I'm just glad I have you back. That's enough for now. Okay?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Kyo closed his eyes. It was suddenly so much easier to remember that short time ago that they had been friends. When Yuki had said Kyo was one of his best friends, and Kyo's being the cat didn't matter. Didn't matter at all. He remembered Yuki's teasing, and his smiles… and his laughter. He hadn't heard Yuki laugh in so long. “Idiot,” he whispered, his tone softening the insult. “Did you seriously think I'd ever let you go?” He felt Yuki's crying become a bit harder, and his arms cling more tightly. He sighed a little and rubbed his cousin's back. “It's okay,” he whispered. “It's okay. I'm still here.” His own tears escaped and landed in Yuki's hair, but he smiled. “Welcome back.”

 

Yuki gave another sob. His hands clutched the folds of Kyo's jacket. “I'm… I'm back,” he whispered.

 

Kyo smiled again and hugged his cousin tightly for another few moments before reluctantly letting go. Yuki's lungs sounded really bad, and Kyo was afraid it might rain again. “Let's go home,” he whispered. “The others are probably worried sick about us.”

 

Yuki nodded, sniffing, and then coughing a little. Kyo helped him get to his feet. Then he put his jacket on, and wrapped an arm around Yuki to steady him.

 

“You're a mess, you know that?” he asked, smiling gently. Yuki didn't respond, and clutched Kyo's jacket as they walked. At length, they reached the house. Tohru saw them and came running. Shigure just looked and began to laugh with relief.

 

“Yuki-kun! Kyo-kun!” Tohru cried, approaching them. “Are you okay?”

 

“I'm okay,” Kyo said, smiling. “But Yuki's not in great shape.”

 

“I knew it,” Hatori said, coming forward. “Can you get him inside?”

 

Kyo nodded. Within ten minutes, Yuki was out of his wet clothes and into dry ones, and lying in bed. Kyo sat beside him, also in dry clothes now. He was fairly certain it wasn't going to rain again tonight. He held onto Yuki's hand. He wanted a full explanation, but that could wait. Yuki didn't hate him. For now, that was enough.

 

 

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A/N 3: It's not over! I'm sorry this story is so absurdly long… unless, of course, you like absurdly long stories, in which case I am happy to oblige. ;-)