Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Ebony and Ivory ❯ Secrets ( Chapter 45 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket; that would be Natsuki Takaya's domain. Which is probably a good thing, because if I were her I would probably put in way too much detail about things that really don't need to be touched on. It probably comes from being American instead of Japanese…

 

A/N: Okay, I had the scanulations of Fruits Basket before they were officially translated, and got that translation of Yuki's past. Recently, the official translation came out, so I went though and changed some of what I have here. But some of it I kept the way it was, because I like the semi-literal translation better. And you all probably could care less, but whatever. And some of it I just made up, but it makes sense, at least to me.

 

 

CHAPTER 45: Secrets

 

The shock of Yuki actually saying “no” was enough to strike Kyo speechless for a moment. He tentatively sat down. “Is it because of what you and Haru talked about?”

 

Yuki slowly nodded. His face looked pale, and his eyes were closed. Suddenly, he looked at Kyo. “Do you really want to know?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I'm asking. Do you really want to know what's wrong?”

 

Kyo hesitated, a bit confused. “It… has something to do with Akito, right? That's why he's been on your mind so much lately.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And your being afraid of him is what keeps tripping you up when things start to get better. Though of course, you won't tell me why you're afraid of him…”

 

“That's what I'm asking,” Yuki said. He sounded strained. “Do you really want to know… why?”

 

“Why you're afraid of Akito?” Kyo felt his eyes widen as Yuki nodded. Yuki was going to tell him? Him? His heartbeat escalated. Yuki's question was entirely sincere. All I know is something happened. Something bad. Do I want to know? Does he… want me to know? Kyo shivered slightly, then nodded decisively. He sat with me when I was in my true form. He went after me and made me come back.

 

There was no need for Yuki to ask if Kyo was sure. He looked away, staring in front of him. “Where's Honda-san?”

 

“She's inside. I told her to wait until we came back.”

 

Yuki nodded. His lips were taut. “Remember about a week ago, when I got trapped in the attic?”

 

“You mean when you kept saying you were fine, even though it was obvious that you weren't?” Kyo bit his tongue. Beating on Yuki when he was coming out of hiding probably wasn't a good idea.

 

“Yeah… see…” Yuki closed his eyes. “It brought back memories.”

 

Kyo felt himself grow tense, and he relaxed into a more comfortable position. Yuki turned to him, apprehension in his eyes. Somehow, Kyo knew what he was feeling. It was the same thing Kyo had felt at the very second his Shishou had taken his bracelet. “I'm not going to run away,” Kyo said quietly.

 

Yuki drew in a shaky breath and looked away again. His hands were clenched. “You know how… they put the cat in a cage?”

 

Kyo nodded, a bit irritated. How could he not? Why was Yuki bringing that up?

 

“See,” Yuki whispered, then said a little louder, “I grew up in a cage.”

 

Hasn't he said this before? The Sohma cage? Why this again? “You've said that,” Kyo said aloud, unable to keep a slight note of frustration out of his voice. If Yuki was going to tell him something, he wanted the information straight up, not coated in fog.

 

“Yeah,” Yuki said. His lips were trembling, and he took a moment to master himself. “But… but… I always let you believe… that I was speaking figuratively.”

 

It took a moment for it to sink in that this wasn't fog at all. “Wait a second,” Kyo said. “You mean you were in a literal cage?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Shut away?”

 

“Yes, Kyo.”

 

“But you're the rat!”

 

Yuki sighed. “Exactly. The favored one.”

 

“Then why…”

 

“Because I was the favored one. Akito's favorite.”

 

Kyo remained silent, and waited for Yuki to explain.

 

“I'm sure you were at least somewhat aware of the fact that Akito spent a lot of time with me.”

 

“Yeah… you were always with him at New Years, until you left the Main House.”

 

“Yes. I was his favorite.” He looked away, his face suddenly cold. “Did you envy me, Kyo? Did you think it would be a good thing to be Akito's favorite?” Yuki asked, still not looking at Kyo. His voice was ironic, but not bitter. “His favorite. His rat. His.” Yuki paused. “His to do as he pleased with.” He closed his eyes. “Do you know how many times I wished I was the cat, just so Akito would stop paying attention to me?”

 

Being Akito's least favorite isn't exactly a walk in the park either. Kyo shivered. The idea of Yuki being in a cage was just… wrong. “I don't understand. What does being Akito's favorite have to do with a cage?”

 

Yuki sighed. “I'm getting there. Please be patient. It's… hard to say.”

 

Kyo was so relieved at this slight return to normalcy that he nodded and fell silent.

 

Yuki was quiet for nearly a full minute. “I don't remember how it started,” he said quietly. “For as long as I can remember, I've been Akito's favorite. I was with him almost constantly. I used to live at home, though, with my parents and Ayame. I… I'm not sure when that changed.” He furrowed his brow, looking confused. “He and I used to play together when we were little. It's hard to remember when he was normal, especially since I was so young. But he was normal once. Really, back then, my whole world was Akito and my mother… and visits to the doctor, because of my asthma. Anyway, we would play together, all the time. I never went outside much because of that, but it wasn't so bad. Akito would sometimes get mad, but it wasn't anything like later… then one day he just snapped… and after that it got gradually worse.” He fell silent again for a moment.

 

“The first thing I remember, after that day that he snapped, and painted our playroom black…”

 

Kyo felt slightly sick, just imagining a black room. “Painted it black?”

 

“He said his world was pitch black, and so the room should be too. Then he started saying something about how we were always together, and then that we weren't… and that he wasn't an unnecessary existence, that he was necessary… I didn't understand… I still don't…” Yuki squeezed his eyes shut. “He turned to me and started screaming, `You're my toy! Your mother gave you to me! You were thrown out, as you should have been!'” Yuki was shaking a little.

 

Kyo was staring. He felt a sudden urge to run, but held his ground. What the hell… why do I feel so sick? But there's no way… no way that…

 

Yuki's eyes were still closed. “He said that it was about time I noticed that everyone hated the rat, and that I had to obey him, and my life was worthless. That… that was only the beginning. I remember him saying later that people hated rodents, especially rats. That they set traps for them, or put out poison. That rats were disgusting creatures that rummaged through dumpsters and that people screamed whenever they saw them. Whenever I started to cry, he slapped me and told me to stop being such a crybaby. He would say that I might as well learn this now, and he was only telling me for my own good. I think I was maybe five or six at the time. From there… it only got worse. It didn't stop with slaps, either.” He sighed.

 

Kyo paused. When Yuki was five or six… that would have been. “So… so that…” He closed his eyes. “That would've been… about the time we met.” “Everyone hates the rat.” Way to prove it to him, Kyo. Damn it. Damn it! How could I have… I didn't… I didn't even let him say anything! I hated him without knowing anything about him, beyond that he was the rat. How could I have been so stupid, and cruel, and… I was… I… How must he have felt? “Yuki, I… I'm sorry…”

 

Yuki's lips trembled, and Kyo knew that he hadn't forgotten the pain. “That… it wasn't really… your fault… it was more in combination with everything else…” He stopped, seemingly unable to continue for a minute.

 

Kyo still felt sick. “You wanted to be friends, didn't you?” He remembered Yuki's lonely eyes. No wonder he'd been angry with Kyo for so long.

 

Yuki's didn't answer. He closed his eyes. “Mother still kept making me go. Akito would say things to me… tell me that there was no way I could live a normal life… that I was weak. If I… if… he would ask me questions, and…” Yuki stopped. He had said all of this almost quickly.

 

Kyo still wondered what this was leading up to, but it was clearly very hard for Yuki to talk about. Yuki was getting mixed up with what he was saying. Yuki never did that. It was like he was trying to down medicine, and take it quickly, until he gagged and had to pause before he could continue.

 

“That was later. At first… it was just… things…” He put his forehead in one of his hands. “I don't even know what I'm trying to say.”

 

Kyo sighed a little, wondering if Yuki even noticed that he was surrounded by rats. It made Kyo feel very awkward. “It's okay. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.” Several of the rats glanced warily at him as he spoke. Kyo ignored them.

 

Yuki stroked a rat that had climbed onto his knee. He cringed, and gave a slight whimper, remembering something. “I forgot about that.”

 

“What?”

 

“I was playing with the rats outside my house, in the morning. I did that a lot, because they were safe. Akito came up to me and asked what I was doing, and when I told him, he took one of the rats and started petting it. He asked me if I liked to play with them, and then whether I liked them more than I liked him. I said no. Then he… he wrung its neck. Just like that. Without even saying anything. I screamed, and he threw it at me, and slapped me, and said if I liked him better, why did I care about the disgusting rat?” Yuki buried his face in his hands, shaking.

 

“Damn it,” Kyo whispered. He had once seen a cat get hit by a car, and had felt like he was witnessing a murder. He put a hand on Yuki's shoulder.

 

“Don't!” Yuki hissed. Kyo drew back, startled. “If you touch me now, I won't be able to go on.” He drew in a shaky breath. “After that, I begged my parents not to take me to Akito's. I never told them about the rat incident. I was afraid he would wring my neck if I did. I told them he said terrible things, and mother just smiled and said that I was so lucky, because the head of the family liked me and wanted me with him.

 

“Then he started making me spend the night at his house. My parents never came for me. He said they hated me, that they hated rats. He told me he had seen a rat trap on my front porch. Then he would hold me, acting like he was consoling me. If I asked to go home, he would slap me. If I said nothing, he would whip me, and tell me to speak.” Yuki was shaking violently now. “Mother would hit me if I refused to go. Once I begged Ayame for help, and he just brushed me aside.” Yuki was silent for a few minutes, and managed to get himself under control.

 

“School was my only relief,” he said, “though I never knew how to act. It was at school that I made my first friends… it came as a shock to me really, that someone could like me. I was so happy…” Yuki stopped, and squeezed his eyes shut. “And then we were playing tag, and one of the girls crashed into me. Akito ordered all of their memories erased, and I never played with them again. Afterwards, I asked him if I was so strange that we had to erase people's memories, and he said of course I was. A human who turned into a rat was a freak, and if people found out about it, they would be sickened by me, and never want to be near me.”

 

“When was this?”

 

“I was about eight… I'm not sure. It was just before all that happened with the red hat.”

 

Kyo's eyes widened, and then he looked away. “I had a way of aggravating whatever pain you were feeling, didn't I?” Kamis, he wanted to die.

 

Yuki looked up at him. “Oh… I'm sorry. I didn't think about… how saying that would make you feel. You're such a good friend to me now… it's hard to think of the person back then as you. I'm sorry…”

 

Kyo glanced back at Yuki, suddenly realizing to the fullest how much he had been forgiven. Even if Yuki had wanted to be his friend originally, why on earth did he accept Kyo's awkward friendship now? It wasn't like he had offered anything by way of redemption. “Why on earth didn't you get this attitude like, `what, you want to be friends now, after all the time you spent rubbing my face in crap?'? I mean…” Kyo fell silent, speechless. Yuki had let him listen to the piano, and sparred with him, and everything, after Kyo had pushed him away, and hated him, and not even bothered to try to understand… it didn't make sense. How can I possibly ever make up for that?

 

“Because I still wanted to be your friend,” Yuki replied. “I was waiting for some sign that it was actually possible, and you gave it to me.”

 

Kyo sighed. “I don't get it, but I'm getting us off topic. So all that happened with your friends… and then what?”

 

Yuki winced slightly and Kyo mentally slapped himself. “I got really sick for a while,” he said. “I was almost exactly the same as a few weeks ago, not having the will to get better.”

 

“It's a wonder you didn't die.”

 

“Yeah. Akito kept visiting. He said I was pathetic. I hardly cared. Then… I heard about your mother…”

 

“You did?”

 

“Yeah. I… couldn't imagine. And then I remembered Akito telling me that you hated me, and Haru hated me, and everyone else hated me… and I thought if I was such a burden, maybe the best thing for me to do… the only way I could help anyone… would be to disappear. So I ran away… I actually used your hat as a disguise. It was early morning and there weren't very many people around. Then there was… a woman… who was freaked out because she had lost her daughter, and then I found her almost by chance, and she started following me…”

 

“Tohru.”

 

Yuki froze. “You know?”

 

“Yeah. Go on.”

 

“Honda-san followed me, and I led her to where her mother had been, and put the hat over her head so she wouldn't be able to see for a minute, and hid. Her mother found her, and all was well, but… my asthma had gotten really bad, and I turned into a rat. I had no choice but to go home, but after that I got better. Being needed like that… it gave me something to hold onto, for at least a little while.”

 

Kyo paused. “Then… I'm glad that it was you and not me.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Long story. I was… really, really muddled back then.”

 

“It didn't have the best of consequences, though. Even though I was getting better, I was still very sick, and Akito used it as an excuse to… to make me move in with him.” Yuki shivered again, and the relaxed tone of his voice with which he had spoken of Tohru was gone in an instant. “I pleaded with my parents to tell him no, but they acted like they couldn't understand why I would ask such a thing, and hit me when I tried to tell them what Akito was doing. They told me they would tell Akito that I was `slandering' him. I couldn't understand why they were acting like this until…” He stopped for a moment. “Until… until I found out… that Akito… that he was paying them to have me live with them. I asked… I asked my mother if I was just her tool, and she asked so what if I was?” The pain in his voice was so intense that Kyo could almost feel it. Everything in him ached to comfort Yuki, but he doubted anything he could say or do would make a dent in the hurt he felt.

 

“Did he still let you go to school?”

 

“For a little while,” Yuki replied. “But then I would stay away for as long as I could, because I never knew what kind of a mood he would be in when I got back. Akito got mad… he would whip me when I was late, and that worked for a while, but… but if it was only one whipping session because I was late, it was better than two because I was home, and he got mad over something else. I would actually calculate sometimes. Of course that was stupid, because Akito was so erratic, but… I still tried. I had to try. Then Akito…” Yuki closed his eyes. He looked suddenly very small. He very obviously did not want to say the next part. His breathing began to quicken.

 

“Careful,” Kyo said softly. “If you're going to have an attack…”

 

“No,” Yuki whispered. “I'm… I'm not… it's just… it's just that as soon as I say it… that will make it real…”

 

Kyo swallowed. Why can't I at least hold his hand? He closed his eyes, then looked at Yuki. Yuki hugged himself a little tighter, and began.

 

“Our playroom,” he whispered. “The playroom Akito had painted black… he cleared everything out, and put me in. He never let me out—he had a bathroom attached. The funny thing is… the door wasn't locked. But there was no way of knowing what would happen if I left. Akito would bring me my food. Usually. Sometimes I was supposed to eat it. Sometimes I wasn't. There was no way of knowing. Sometimes as a punishment for something, he would starve me for days, and then act like nothing had happened.”

 

“Was he still saying things?”

 

“Worse than ever. He would tell me I was worthless, that I was so lucky to have god pay attention to me. That I wasn't worth his attention or anyone's.”

 

“Damn liar. Except for the last part, but the opposite of what he said. You didn't deserve that.”

 

Yuki paused. “Maybe.”

 

“Yuki, you don't believe the things he said to you, do you? They weren't true!”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Kyo felt an almost overwhelming sense of frustration, mixed with intense guilt that he had been right there and hadn't seen it… had hated Yuki… had thought he was pampered of all things. It's not fair! It's not fair that someone like Yuki… it doesn't make sense! Why on earth… Yuki, worthless? The rat, shunned? What the hell? He suddenly hit the ground with his fist, startling several of there rats. “You're not worthless to me!”

 

Yuki's face cleared slightly. “I know,” he said quietly.

 

“Don't negate that just because I'm the cat.”

 

Yuki paused for a moment. “I'm not.”

 

Kyo sighed. “Was he still hurting you?”

 

“Yes. But it was completely unpredictable. And I supposedly had control over it, but now I wonder if it was just some game he was playing, like he had in mind to `punish' me or not, and it didn't matter what I answered.”

 

“You mean like when you convinced me you hated me? No matter what I said or did, you had to keep making it worse?”

 

Yuki nodded, looking sad, but not offended. “Yes, Kyo. I learned from the best.”

 

“I…”

 

“Kyo,” Yuki said quietly, “You have to understand… I was raised by Akito.”

 

Kyo shuddered. “That's…” Damn, you can see it. You can see Akito's fingerprints all over him. He remembered all the times over that horrible month and a half that he had thought Yuki looked, acted, and sounded like Akito, and felt a sickening sense of things coming together. That is just creepy, and wrong, and scary, and… and it makes way too much sense!

 

“I know.” Yuki sighed. “He would ask me questions, and sometimes I would get them right, and sometimes I would get them wrong. He would stroke me, then slap me, and there was no way of knowing which it would be, so I dreaded his touch.” Yuki closed his eyes. “I would go to sleep, and be petrified that I wouldn't be alone when I woke up. I was so scared…” He shook his head. “I don't even know how to describe it. It was like being in a cage with a wild cobra. I never knew when he would strike. And I couldn't get away. I couldn't ever, ever, ever get away. Even at New Years, he would stay with me at all times. The first New Years after he had put me in the room, I thought things would be okay for just one day, but…” Yuki suddenly stopped and opened his eyes. He furrowed his brow for a moment. “Oh. He did forbid me to be your friend before. I forgot about that.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“He asked if I wanted to play with you during the party. It sounded like an offer, and I said yes, if you wouldn't hate me. He immediately took me to the room and beat me until he was sure that I would never even consider the idea of being your friend—or anyone else's for that matter. I was his, and his alone. His to control. No one mentioned the bruises at the Juunishi banquet. They pretended not to notice.” He sighed, closed his eyes, then opened them. “Do you know what they called it?” he asked suddenly, turning to Kyo. “Him locking me up?”

 

“What?” asked Kyo, confused.

 

“Quarantine.”

 

“Um…” Kyo felt stupid. “What does that mean?”

 

“It's when someone is sick, and you isolate them from others either so that others don't catch what they have, or so that they'll be in a sterile environment. They called it quarantine, because of my asthma.” He looked away. “The asthma got worse when I was with Akito, not better. I was in a constant state of fear and panic, and because of that I was almost constantly sick. Akito would hit me whenever I coughed. Even now, I'm afraid to cough sometimes. That… that was why I started martial arts later, because the breathing exercises helped me.” He sighed.

 

“I wouldn't have made it without Haru. He came to see me a lot. Risked his life, essentially. I don't know if Akito ever found out. He was actually the one who taught me the piano notes. I had snuck out. That was the only reason I ever snuck out. To play the piano. Then I got caught, and he beat me so badly that I swore I would never touch it again.”

 

Kyo paused. “I'm glad you did. Touch it again, I mean.”

 

“That's what started the whole stupid mess with Akito and the bracelet.”

 

Kyo shrugged. “I'm still glad.” He paused. “What did Haru do when he came?”

 

“He would always sneak in books, but he mostly just talked to me. I wouldn't let him touch me. Sometimes he didn't even talk. He just sat. But at that time… I was afraid to be touched. I still am, sometimes. See, for so long, Akito was the only one who touched me, and…” He broke off, and breathed deeply. “Haru probably knows more about it than anyone, except maybe Hatori. I would beg Hatori to get me out, the last year, when Hatori was the family doctor. I'd plead with him. He never answered. He treated my bruises and scars, and handed me over to Akito again.”

 

“That bastard!”

 

Yuki looked at Kyo in surprise. “Hatori?”

 

“Both of them! All of them! Who did they think was going to help you?”

 

Yuki looked at him.

 

“They knew they were your only hope, and they still did nothing?!”

 

“What could they do?”

 

“Stand up to him, damn it!”

 

“He would have hurt me more if they'd interceded.”

 

“Not if they'd gone all the way and actually held him under and taken you out.”

 

Yuki said nothing for nearly a full minute. “It didn't exist,” he said at last, flatly. “It wasn't really happening. I fell down the stairs. I tripped. I was clumsy. If Akito did hurt me, it was because I said something disrespectful, and deserved it. I was the favorite.”

 

Kyo blinked. “What?”

 

“It wasn't spoken of. It was like a bad word. Everyone knew, but nobody knew, and therefore nobody could help. It wasn't real. Just rumors. The bruises at New Years? The whip marks when I was examined? `Well, I might have seen something, but I didn't really think much of it.' See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. And the evil continues.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I hated it,” he hissed. Then he began to cry, for the first time since he had begun this narrative. Kyo barely even noticed at first, because the tears were absolutely silent. “It's one thing to have Akito tell me I'm not worth saving. I might not have believed it if everyone else hadn't said the same thing.” He leaned his forehead against his knees. Kyo desperately wanted to touch him, to comfort him, but he held back. Yuki continued.

 

“Then I just closed down. For more than six months, I couldn't speak. My words had no effect on anyone… it was like being invisible. The only person who listened was Akito, and he punished me for it… so I stopped speaking. Akito hated it, and whipped me when I wouldn't talk, but I couldn't even speak to stop the whipping.” He looked straight ahead, seeing nothing in front of him. “It was weird… I always thought I screamed, but Haru said I never did. He would come to see me, and stop when he heard Akito yelling. But he never heard me. I could see that he was scared. He would sit with me in utter silence, unable to touch me.

 

“Haru was the one who finally intervened. He begged Shigure to let me live in his house, away from the Main House. Akito… let me out.” He looked confused for a moment. “I'm still not sure why. But it scares me to death because, even though they got me out, if Akito told me to go back, no one would do anything about it.”

 

Kyo was quiet for a moment. It suddenly hit him what Yuki would have gone back to if he had gone to the Main House for Kyo. “Yuki, don't you ever, ever, ever go back there,” he said firmly. “Not for me. Not for anyone. Stay away from Akito. Don't ever go back. I mean it.”

 

“But what about when you're…”

 

Kyo stopped. Oh gosh. I can't lose him. “If you want to visit, don't let him see you. If it gets to be dangerous, stop coming. It's not worth it. And then eventually Akito will die, and then you can come again.”

 

“Kyo…”

 

“I mean it!” Kyo took Yuki by the shoulders, firmly, but not roughly. “I don't care what he says or does, or who he threatens. You don't go back there. Don't go near Akito, unless either you are strong enough, or you have someone with you who will protect you. Damn it, Yuki, don't you dare let him do that to you ever again! Do you understand? You didn't deserve that, whatever he said! You're not crap, so don't let him treat you like you are! Got it?”

 

Yuki hesitated for a long minute, then nodded. “I got it,” he whispered. There were tears in his eyes. Suddenly he hugged Kyo tightly. Kyo was completely taken aback, but he closed his arms tightly around his cousin, glad he finally could. “Does this mean you're done?” he asked. Yuki nodded. Kyo felt his shoulder grow moist, and turned to see that Yuki was silently crying. Like melting snow. He gently rubbed Yuki's back, imagining the whip scars that must have covered it once upon a time. He winced inwardly. How on earth do I make him believe that what Akito said isn't true? His mind wandered. I wish I had been there for him then, but all I did was make things worse. What good am I now? Haru was there for him then. That's why Haru understands him so well. How can I hope to understand… what that was like…? He closed his eyes. Please… let me do something for him.

 

The sun was setting as Yuki and Kyo walked back. Kyo kept his arm around Yuki's shoulders, and Yuki leaned against him, just a little. Kyo understood. Yuki needed someone to hold onto, like Kyo had after Tohru had seen his true form for the first time. He smiled a little at the memory of being curled up in her arms. He wondered vaguely what Yuki's thoughts had been that night. Were they the same as his were now?

 

Shigure and Tohru acknowledged them both with a smile and a “welcome home.” They had waited to eat dinner, and asked both boys if they wanted any. Kyo looked at Yuki, and Yuki, somewhat to his surprise, nodded. After a moment, though, Kyo understood. Normalcy. It was beef stew. Kyo had forgotten how good Tohru's cooking was, and how wonderful it felt to sit at the kotatsu, with family. “This is really good,” he said quietly to Tohru.

 

She smiled brightly. “Thank you!”

 

Kyo looked at Yuki, who was telling Tohru he agreed. The same look was in Yuki's eyes.

 

That night, Kyo climbed to the roof to see that someone else was already there. “Yuki? You okay?”

 

Yuki turned to him. His face was calm, and he smiled a little. “Yeah. Do you mind if I stay here for a while?”

 

“Of course not. Can I stay with you?”

 

Yuki nodded, and Kyo went and sat beside him. Yuki was wrapped in a blanket, and offered some of it to Kyo. Kyo vaguely remembered some comment about the military, and keeping warm. He sat down, and put an arm around Yuki's shoulders. Yuki leaned into him, and Kyo smiled. I'll bet it feels good to be able to stop pretending. “Hey… thanks for telling me today. That couldn't have been easy.”

 

Yuki shook his head. He sighed. “What do you think?”

 

“I think Akito is a goddamn bastard who deserves a fate worse than hell.”

 

Yuki paused. “What do you think of me?”

 

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

 

“What do you think of me? After hearing that?”

 

“I… I don't know. A lot of stuff makes more sense now. A lot more sense.” He frowned slightly. “And I think you need help to leave the room.” He shrugged. “But other than that… I think of you pretty much the same.”

 

Yuki blinked. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. You didn't really… tell me a lot about yourself that I didn't know. You explained a lot. But I mean, I already knew you had a tendency to hide, and turn yourself off under pressure. I knew you were afraid of Akito. I didn't get a lot of `what's, just a lot of `why's, if that makes sense.”

 

Yuki smiled a little. “Yeah. It does.”

 

“And I've got to say… it had to take a lot of strength to go through all that and be the person you are today. So… maybe I see you as stronger.”

 

“Stronger?”

 

“Sort of.” He looked at Yuki. “You seem to think… you have to be either weak or strong. In martial arts, you're an idiot if you don't recognize your weaknesses and either try to fix them or work on avoiding them in combat. If you do know your weaknesses, you're that much stronger. And if you're on a team, and your teammates know your weaknesses, they can cover for you, and that makes the team that much stronger.” He paused, and looked at Yuki. “Does… that make sense?”

 

Yuki smiled a little. “I think so.”

 

Kyo sighed a little. “Good. And we're teammates, right? So you don't have to be afraid to show your weak side anymore, because that's what friends are for.” He smiled awkwardly at his cousin, then looked away.

 

Yuki looked up at the stars, and lay down. Kyo lay down next to him. “It's a nice night,” Yuki said quietly. He smiled for a moment, then closed his eyes and relaxed. “Kyo-nii?” he whispered suddenly.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Thanks for not running away.”

 

Kyo smiled. “Anytime.”