Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Starting Again ❯ Death And Rebirth ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to Gravitation and I do not claim ownership to any of the characters in this story. I am simply a tremendous fan of the show and I wanted to write a fanfic. Please don't hold that against me.

A/N: This chapter has a little angst and a lot of humor...or at least I intend it to have those. I decided to write this chapter of Starting Again off the top of my head. I hope it's ok. Pairings are Eiri/Shuichi, Hiro/Fujisaki, K/Sakano, Tohma/Mika, and Ryuichi/Tatsuha.

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"I'm glad Hiro went home with Fujisaki-kun, I was worried this would depress him too much and I didn't want him to be alone. Ayaka's funeral was probably really hard on him." Shuichi stated quietly as he and Eiri sat at the kitchen table. They had just gotten home from Ayaka's funeral and both had a lot on their minds. Shuichi was mostly worried about his best friend's welfare, but Eiri had something else on his mind and Shuichi knew it. He was about to ask Eiri what was wrong when the author stood up and began heading for his study, "Eiri-chan, where are you going?"

"I have a book to finish." Eiri replied shortly.

"But, you don't write books anymore, you write lyrics now."

"Well, I have one more book I want to write so leave me alone and let me write it!" And with that Eiri disappeared into his office, slamming the door behind him. Eiri knew his words had probably done a lot of damage to Shuichi, especially since he'd been trying really hard to be nice lately, but right now the last person Eiri wanted to talk to was Shuichi, "Gomen nasai, Shu-chan." He whispered to his empty office before sitting down at his laptop and staring at the blank screen.

Meanwhile, Shuichi sat on the couch sulking. He had actually thought Eiri was opening up and suddenly he turned back into Yuki. 'I wonder what brought on his sudden change of attitude.' Suddenly a little lightbulb went off in Shuichi's head and he raced to the door of Eiri's study and began banging on the door, "Eiri-chan, open the door! Onegai, Eiri-chan, open the door!"

Eiri jerked the door open suddenly, "Which part of 'leave me alone' was too complicated for you?"

Shuichi just looked up at Eiri with serious eyes, "You're doing it again Eiri-chan."

Now Eiri was really getting irritated, "Doing what again?"

"You're being Yuki again." Shuichi answered simply, "You're being cold and mean and you're pushing me away again and I don't like it."

Eiri sighed, he knew Shuichi was right, "Gomen nasai Shu-chan, I just want to be left alone right now okay?"

"No Eiri-chan, it's not okay. Ayaka's death wasn't your fault anymore than it was mine and I won't let you sit in here and blame yourself. The last time you felt guilty about someone's death it haunted you for more than six years and I refuse to let you spend another six years repeating that. Onegai Eiri-chan, talk to me."

'When the hell did he learn to read me like that? It's rather annoying. Oh well, I guess it won't hurt to talk to him, after all, this is Shuichi and Shuichi loves me.' "Alright Shu-chan, you got me, I'll talk."

"Alright, so, why are you blaming yourself? You know you had no more control over the situation than anyone else did."

"Ayaka's parents blame me, and they have every right to. It is my fault. I was engaged to her, I made her think I loved her, I should have been able to love her!"

Shuichi stepped back as if he had been slapped and tears welled up in his eyes, "Gomen nasai Eiri-chan, I didn't know you felt like that."

With that he turned to leave but before he could Eiri grabbed his wrist, "Shu-chan, onegai, don't go. I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was that I should have been able to love her enough to not use her like I did." Eiri said quietly.

'This is so weird,' Shuichi thought to himself as he looked up at Eiri, 'normally I'm the one begging him not to go. This is a nice change.' "Don't worry Eiri-chan, I won't go anywhere. You shouldn't blame yourself for Ayaka's death, it's not your fault she choose to do what she did and her parents shouldn't blame you either."

"I know, but I still feel bad. I haven't felt this guilty since I killed Yuki-sensai."

Shuichi smiled and hugged Eiri, "That just means your wounds are healing Eiri-chan, everyone feels bad when someone they care about dies and they start thinking about what they could have done to prevent the loss, but when they realize there's nothing they could have done they start to feel worthless, as though they let their loved one down. I think that's what you're going through isn't it Eiri-chan?"

Eiri blinked, 'Shuichi actually said something intelligent and he was actually right. I knew he wasn't really an idiot but this is too much.'

"Eiri-chan, are you going to answer me or just stare at the wall all night?" Shuichi asked curiously.

"Gomen Shu-chan, it's just not often that you say anything as intelligent as that." Eiri said as he ruffled Shuichi's hair affectionately, "You're right though Shu-chan, I do feel like that. I never really liked Ayaka that much, she only cared about superficial things like my looks or my fame or my money, she never really cared about me. However, dispite all that, I don't think she was such a bad person, she didn't deserve to die before she could be happy."

Shuichi looked stunned, "I almost don't believe what I just heard, Eiri-chan, are you feeling alright?"

"What are you talking about? I'm perfectly fine."

"Alright Eiri-chan, whatever you say."

At that Eiri grinned and there was a somewhat evil glint in his eyes, "Whatever I say huh Shu-chan?"

Shuichi saw the way Eiri was looking at him and giggled, "Eiri-chan no hentai."

Eiri just grinned wider and took Shuichi's hand, dragging him off towards their bedroom, "C'mon Shu-chan, lets go to bed."

Shuichi just nodded and spent the rest of the night erasing Eiri's guilt.

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~Meanwhile...~

"Hiro-kun, daijoubou?" Suguru asked. He had brought a rather upset Hiroshi back to his apartment in the hopes of cheering the guitarist up, Hiro however, just sat stotically on Suguru's couch staring at the wall.

At the sound of Suguru's voice Hiro seemed to wake up, "Hai, I'm alright."

"Alright, but I didn't think my wall was that interesting."

Hiro laughed nervously, "Um...hehe...was I really that out of it?"

Suguru nodded, "Yeah, you were. Are you sure you're alright?"

Hiro shook his head, "No, I'm not alright. I know Ayaka was just using me to try and get closer to Eiri but I still really liked her. Even after she hurt Shuichi like she did, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. After all, the person she loved didn't love her back, I know how she felt."

"You're talking about Shindou-kun now aren't you?" Suguru said nonchalantly but inside, his heart constricted at the very thought of Hiro still loving Shuichi.

"Only partly, I loved Shuichi from the time I first met him till the time I had to let him go to Eiri. I still love Shuichi, but only as my best friend...I was actually talking about someone else."

"Oh really? Who were you talking about then?" Suguru asked calmly. He carefully avoided letting any hope show in his voice.

"It doesn't matter. The person I love doesn't know of my feelings and even if he did I doubt he'd feel the same."

"Then he's a fool."

"Nani?"

"You heard me, Hiro-kun. Anyone that wouldn't love you is a fool."

"You shouldn't say things like that about yourself." Hiro blurted out before he could catch himself.

"Me? You were talking about me?" Suguru said. He was shocked and his heart was pounding.

Hiro blushed but nodded slowly, "I'm sorry. I know you don't feel that way about me...but Shuichi opened my eyes to the fact that I cared about you more than I did Ayaka. I didn't realize it until he said I should get to know you better."

Suguru laughed, "It looks like I owe Shindou-kun now."

"Huh? What do you mean you owe him, owe him for what?"

"For making you realize how you felt about me. You're wrong Hiro-kun, I actually do feel that way about you, I have for a long time. I just always thought that I never had a chance what with Ayaka and Shuichi around."

"Really? You're not just saying that so I won't feel bad will you?" Hiro asked skeptically.

Suguru chuckled again, "Yes really, why would I lie?"

Hiro just shrugged, "I have no idea."

"So, what now?"

"I say we follow Shuichi and Eiri's example and start dating and see what happens from there."

"I agree, but um...lets not follow their example too closely. Those two moved awful fast." Suguru said shyly, a slight blush staining his cheeks.

Hiro chuckled, "So Fujisaki Suguru has a shy side, that's rather interesting. It was actually Shuichi that moves really fast and Eiri just goes along with it but, alright, we won't follow their example that much. I feel much better now, I still feel bad about Ayaka's death but the good outweighs the bad today. I think I'll go home now. Tomorrow why don't we spend the day together?"

Suguru smiled and nodded, "I'd like that, oyasumi nasai, Hiro-kun."

"Oyasumi nasai, koi." With that Hiro walked out the door, leaving a blushing Suguru behind.

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~The Next Day...~

Eiri awoke the next morning to the sound of humming and talking from the kitchen. He looked at the clock by his bed, '8:30 in the morning? Who the hell could be here this early?' Grumpily Eiri climbed out of bed and got dressed then made his way into the kitchen to discover the answer to his question.

"Sakuma-san, please be a little quieter. Eiri-chan's trying to sleep." Shuichi said. He was standing over the stove in a strawberry pink apron and holding a spatula, he failed to notice Eiri standing in the doorway.

The kitchen's other occupant, none other than Sakuma Ryuichi, also failed to notice Eiri, "But Shu-chan...that lumpy writer won't get up if you keep quiet and me and Tat-chan had some nice things planned for us all to do today!"

"Gomen Sakuma-san, Eiri-chan wasn't feeling very well last night...he needs to rest." Shuichi said stubbornly, "And he's not lumpy...him and Tatsuha look alike, so if Eiri-chan's lumpy than so is Tatsuha."

Ryuichi just sat there blinking. Ten seconds later he burst into tears, "WHAAAA, Shu-chan's not supposed to get smarter than me so suddenly!"

"Will you stop making that annoying sound Sakuma-san, Shuichi's always been smarter than you...he just fails to show it all the time." Eiri said from the doorway, Ryuichi's crying was starting to give him a headache and he had thought it best to shut the older vocalist up as soon as possible.

At the sound of Eiri's voice both Shuichi and Ryuichi jumped. After getting over the initial shock of seeing Eiri up so early Shuichi started in with the apologies, "Gomen nasai Eiri-chan, I told Sakuma-san to be quiet but he wouldn't listen to me and...Eiri-chan, you're already dressed? How long have you been up?"

Eiri couldn't help but chuckle at that, "I've been up for about twenty minutes listening to you and Sakuma-san talk. By the way Sakuma-san, you said you and Tatsuha had something planned...what was it?" Mentally he added, 'Do I really want to know the answer to that question?'

"Well Eiri-san, me and Tat-chan thought that since you and Shu-chan are getting married soon you should start shopping for outfits."

"That sounds fun Sakuma-san! Doesn't that sound fun Eiri-chan? Eiri-chan? Daijoubou Eiri-chan?" Shuichi asked in concern. Eiri was standing there staring and his face was an odd shade of blue.

'Shopping...with Sakuma Ryuichi and Shindou Shuichi...the two most hyper people on the planet...this is bad...very, very, VERY bad.' Eiri thought to himself as Shuichi continued to try and snap him out of his trance while Ryuichi looked on. 'Very, very, very, VERY bad.'

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Japanese Words:

Gomen Nasai: Very Sorry
Onegai: Please
No: 's, of, in, at, on, for, by
Hentai: Pervert
Daijoubou: Are you alright?, I am alright.
Hai: Yes
Nani: What
Oyasumi Nasai: Good Night
Koi: Love
Tsudzuku: To Be Continued
Minna: Everyone

I was going to make this chapter longer and have them go shopping but then I decided that if I wrote a seperate chapter I could add lots of details and not keep you all waiting so long for another chapter. I'm sorry it's another cliffhanger...there will be about two more cliffhangers and three more chapters. I'm also sorry for any OOCness I may have in this chapter...I had a hard time getting this chapter to sound right. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it and that you review...ja ne minna! ^-^