Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Frozen Heart ❯ Frozen Heart 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Frozen Heart

Part 4

Duo was gone when they arrived at the small room he'd been renting. The place had been cleaned, all traces of the Gundam pilot and his companions erased from existence.

Seeing the disappointment and worry on Quatre's countenance, Trowa squeezed his arm encouragingly. "Duo isn't stupid, Quatre, He knows you too well to think that you'd let Jason off without gleaning as much information as you could. He can't be more than a few days ahead. We'll catch up."

"And when we find him I'm going to kick his ass for all the trouble he's caused." Wufei added caustically, though there was no real heat behind the threat. Even he had missed the noisy baka.

"Quatre, when is your next meeting?" Heero cut in, his expression coldly forbidding.

"Tonight."

Heero acknowledged the reply with a curt nod.

None of them realized how much they had pinned on that contact until night came and instead of a live Duo, they got a recorded message.

Duo had lost weight, was Heero's first thought, frowning with displeasure at the gaunt cheeks. Scanning his partner after a battle and whenever they were separated for days had become second nature for him. Duo was an excellent pilot and a cunning fighter, as he had repeatedly proven in the past. However, he also had an infuriating knack for getting into trouble. Heero often wondered how the small pilot had ever managed to survive the mindless criminality of L2's streets. He glared at the dark glasses hiding Duo's eyes.

Then Duo started speaking and his breath caught.

"Hey Quat," Duo tilted his head slightly, the trademark smirk touching his lips for a quick second. "Hope the kid didn't scare you out of your wits." He raised both hands. "As you can see, I'm fine now. It was just a minor hit on top of an adrenaline-pumping, mind-blowing showdown." He grimaced slightly. "And yeah yeah, I'd been drinking a bit. Jason, innocent boy that he is, put two and two and somehow came up with a totally different equation." He flashed a grin, "Soooo, if you're on your way here - yeah, I figured you'd have wormed it out of Jason in no time flat- with the Red Cross, I'm afraid you're going to be very disappointed. Sorry about that."

He paused, the cocky grin fading. "Quat, there's something I need to tell you. Don't get me wrong. You've been a great friend and… I appreciate your wanting to keep me in the loop. But Quat, seriously, I think it's time we both recognized that this isn't going to work. I've been doing a lot of thinking this past month, and I've come to a couple of conclusions. First," His mouth twisted self-mockingly. "is that in spite of everything I still care about -well, you know- and until I rid myself of this sick infatuation I won't be of any use to anyone. And secondly, he was right. We're just soldiers. We're expendable. If I died tomorrow the colonies would just shrug its shoulder and send another pilot for Deathscythe." He shrugged, his posture drooping tiredly. "And you know what? I'm fucking sick of it. All of it. I'm done, Quat."

"I QUIT."

Heero's world shuddered.

"I used to tell myself that I didn't care. That it's enough to know that I'm doing something for the colonies." Duo sighed. "But…hell, Quatre, I almost died in that last fight, and y'know, when Derek asked if there was anyone he could call for me, I realized there was no one. Well, aside from you, that is." Duo glanced away for a moment. "It isn't enough, Quatre. Maybe it's my ego, but I don't want to go out without making a difference to anyone. I need to believe that my existence means something. And not only to the colonies. I don't want to be just another statistic. I want to make a difference, not as 02 or Deathcythe's pilot, but as a person. And if I can't find that with the team, I have to find it elsewhere." A thin hand rubbed tiredly at his temple. "Am I making sense?" He shook his head, his mouth tightening. "Don't try to find me, Quatre. I'm trying to start over, and I think," He continued after a moment's hesitation. "I think it will be best if I made a clean break." He bit his lip, . "Sorry. Maybe someday, when I've pulled my act together….take care of yourself and the others."

Quatre rocked back in his seat, unable to process the fact that his best friend had just cut him out of his life. Behind him Trowa made a soft sound of comfort, placing both hands over his shoulders and squeezing lightly.

"Che! Coward." Wufei muttered darkly, but he was careful to avoid their eyes.

Heero said nothing. Nothing at all. His heart, the heart he had thought was made of ice and duty, had failed him. He had thought that missions were enough for it, that there wasn't space for friendship. Or love. But just when he needed it to steel him from the folly of his partner, it had failed him.

It had shattered.

-end Part 4-