Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Words of the Heart ❯ Part Two: Want ( Chapter 3 )

Part Two: Want

Summary: But right now, everything you want is wrong. Heero tells Duo were they stand.

 

Want

 

“I understand.”

Does he really? Does he know how much we are needed? Peace is so fragile, so easily killed; it needs all of our attention and love to flourish. I can't do that if I'm with him.

“You remember how easily Barton took over-“

“I get it Heero. Peace needs you. So go already.” Duo was angry. It isn't a surprise- I know how it sounds. How he's seeing it. He thinks I'm choosing my duty over my heart.

He's right.

We trained and bled and fought so hard for this peace, for those victories over OZ, WhiteFang and Romerfeller. I can't let everything we've been through go to waste. We relaxed, we let our guard down after the war, and the Barton Uprising nearly destroyed everything.

It was our warning, my warning, for thinking I could just leave the peace unattended- can't he understand that?

“We are still young, Duo. There'll be time for this….later-“

“I said I understand, Yuy. What aren't you getting about that?”

Why he's looking at me like I've just betrayed him. Why he's so angry at me. Why the deepening of his voice sounds like disappointment.

This isn't the end….I won't let it be our end. Doesn't he trust me enough to see to that? Or have my failures at securing peace shaken that absolute faith he's always had in me?

“Then what is the problem?”

Duo's eyes always were so expressive. They were the reason for the expression `glaring sparks'. “I said I understand, but that doesn't mean that I have to fucking like it.”

His eyes turned glassy but I knew Duo would never let himself cry- especially over this. “I- I just…I just want…..”

He didn't have to continue; I knew what he wanted if only because it was exactly what I wanted as well. To put down our guns, finally and just be together. To buy a house by the ocean, take vacations and get tattoos or something equally outrageous. To buy a car. To be normal and happy for once. To grow old together.

I couldn't keep my face expressionless at the sight if his unhappiness. I had to tell him how things stood right now and hope he would truly understand in time.

“I know what you want, Duo but right now, everything you want is wrong.”

His shoulders stiffened harshly and the silence after my words made me think I'd said something very, very wrong. I watched his fist clench and unclench without the slightest idea of what to do. Then he spoke.

“Fine, Yuy. Whatever you want.”

That wasn't it at all but I let him turn and walk away from our office hurt and confused.

I'm so sorry, Duo.

So damn sorry.