Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Words of the Heart ❯ Part Three: Wishes ( Chapter 4 )

Part Three: Wishes

Summary: Do wishes count at all? Duo needs a new direction.

 

Wishes

 

God, Heero Yuy is the most selfish, self-important son of a fucking bitch I have ever had the bad luck of being unable to avoid meeting! Why does he have to give up everything for people how don't deserve the damn air they breathe? I know sacrifice is necessary for the good of mankind but why does it have to be him?

Why does it have to be us?

Again.

He needs to protect peace, he needs to stop the rebels, and he needs to catch the bad guy. What about what I need? What I want?

Oh yeah, everything I want is wrong.

God, do wishes count at all? I'm just supposed to give it all up because he can't see that peace will never be secure. There will always be someone trying to break peace, and for every crook we catch two more will spring up in his place.

Heero can't be the savior of the world all the time, especially not when the world doesn't need saving anymore.

He's just so….mono-focused on making everything else in the world so right he's made us look so wrong. Is this some sort of strange punishment, for not being able to abolish all crime in the Earth Sphere? He's so intent on this twisted self-punishment he can't even see how much this is killing me.

Heero just expects me to …to let him go, to simply walk away from the man I love and pretend it's not really our final goodbye. But I can't- that's why it hurts so much to see him, taking each step with that unwavering confidence that this is what's right- for now- and not ever looking back.

There's no doubt, no hesitation, no regret.

Just me standing there, counting each step he takes as he walks away from me, leaving me to stand there alone because, damn it I can't just walk away from him.

Not like he can. Doesn't he remember, talking about- about Solo and the church? Doesn't he remember how much that hurt me and how hard it was to even let him in?

I wish he would.

It's ironic again, isn't it? I finally decide to take that fucking chance again and love and he's leaving in the worst way possible- by his own choice. Certainly not an act of God this time.

Had it been anything else I would have fought so hard for him. I would have killed, bleed and died to keep him with me- but I can't. There's no swaying Heero when he's like this. Nothing but the thoughts in his head can change his mind and that's something I can't fix, something I can't touch.

That's why I'm simply going to let him leave me here alone- just like everyone else.

Oh God.

Heero.

You're leaving me.

Alone.

Please don't go!