InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ 30 Shards of Jaken ❯ Kiss From a Stranger ( Chapter 13 )

Theme: Kiss

 

Genres: Parody/Humor/AR

 

Spoiler Warning: Diverges from manga ch. 466.

 

A/N: Anachronisms are intentional for humorous purposes.

 

Kiss From a Stranger

 

Sesshomaru's mother was surprised when, after 400 years without so much as a postcard, her bigheaded son decided to pay her a visit. Like any ungrateful kid who's flown the nest, naturally he needed something—probably money.

 

He opened his mouth to speak.

 

`Here it comes,' Sesshomaru's mother thought.

 

“What can you tell me of Father's memento, Tenseiga?”

 

Such a startling question should have rattled her, but at that moment her eye caught sight of the little green toad demon cowering in the background. She brushed past a displeased Sesshomaru and confronted the creature.

 

“Oooh, you're cute,” she said silkily. “What's your name?”

 

While Jaken quivered, wide-eyed, Sesshomaru clenched his teeth. “Mother. That's. My. Vassal.”

 

“Oh poo,” she swatted in his direction. “I'm a big girl. I deserve a little fun.” Her tone turned sour. “Certainly your father had enough fun in his day.”

 

Sesshomaru cursed inwardly. Ever since his mother had caught Father with the human wench, she'd made it her mission to get back at him by seducing the most disgusting, unworthy men possible. Even though Father had long since gone to the Afterlife, she continued to spite him.

 

Sesshomaru bit his tongue as she faced the toad demon again, crouching down so they stood eye-to-eye. She batted her eyelids at him. “Now, Vassal, I demand your name.”

 

The toad demon looked at Sesshomaru helplessly and stuttered, terrified, “J-J-Jaken, m-m-ma'am.” On the one hand, this was a dream come true. This woman was sexy and seductive and beautiful—and best of all, she looked just like Lord Sesshomaru! Jaken's heart was all a flutter. But at the same time, something about the way she smiled at him was unsettling.

 

“Well then, `J-J-Jaken,'” she purred, running her fingers over his chest. “What say you and me have a good time?” And before Jaken could even blink, Sesshomaru's mother had grabbed him and pulled him into a long, passionate kiss.

 

Jaken squealed—for two reasons. One—because this was the most exciting moment of his life! And two—because three seconds from now, Lord Sesshomaru was going to beat him to a bloody green pulp!

 

“Ahem.”

 

Sesshomaru's mother let Jaken go at the sound of her son's throat clearing. “Don't worry, dear. As soon as I'm done with him, I'll tell you everything you want to know about your father's sword.”

 

“Actually, Mother, if you'll excuse me...” Sesshomaru drew Jaken aside, out of sight, while his mother, who had finally noticed Kohaku and Rin's presence, began questioning the humans.

 

After ascertaining that they were indeed not food, she sighed. “This is what I get for not letting him have a pet as a child…”

 

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru drew Tenseiga from his sheath…

 

As he watched the blade coming down, Jaken remembered the kiss, and his heart filled with joy. `Oh yeah,' he thought, `It was totally worth it!'

 

When Sesshomaru returned, his mother sighed. “Really, son. You have to learn to control your anger. That's the fifth time this has happened!”