InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Angel of Mercy ❯ Depths of Winter ( Chapter 13 )

A/N: I want to thank you who are reading this :D (though I could wish for more reviews *hint*). As a reminder, because I'm sure I'll hear about it…maybe…this is set a long time before the series even begins, so our dear Sesshoumaru has not developed his character yet, and therefore cannot be out of character :D (great way of cheating, no?). While he does have *some* of the characteristics we've come to know (and love?) from the series, he is very young and (as anyone who knows young men will testify) is not very wise yet (or is that an understatement?) I say this here and now because the next few chapters are going to be "OOC," sometimes by a lot, some times only a little. By the bye, I am not laboring under the delusion that I own any character other that Nanashi at present (I borrowed Subaru from efreet's story The Enigma of Power [I did ask permission, though she has yet to actually reply…I waited a whole week before even posting this anywhere {on mediaminer.org for those reading this on fanfiction.net}]). I will be adding more original characters (truly original…from my own head, even [no, Taliesin is not original…he's from an old Celtic legend, but more on that later….*hint*]) I suppose I should stop rambling now and return you to the story :D Oh, before I forget (and I almost did) alexandra cai (on fanfiction.net) was kind enough to draw a picture of my story and, with her permission, I would like to share it when she has had the chance to upload it :D

The brightly colored leaves of the autumn gradually fell from the tired limbs of the trees around Subaru's mansion, leaving them bare and stark against the still brilliantly blue sky above. The temperature dropped and one morning arrived to find snow covering the grounds. Subaru's other students returned from their homes and Sesshoumaru was given the training of Nanashi. She still struggled to move things with her powers and was beginning to form a rudimentary barrier around herself, though it was very weak. She remained subdued and the lessons proceeded with few outburst of frustration or temper on her part. Sesshoumaru, however, was becoming very frustrated. He knew she had more than enough power to accomplish the tasks he was trying to teach her, but she didn't believe it. After a particularly trying day, he finally asked in frustration, "How is it that you can throw three thugs off of you without blinking and not move a dish across the room without exhausting yourself?"

Tears formed in her eyes and he regretted his words, "I don't know, Sesshoumaru-sama, I don't know." She looked down at her hands in her lap.

He reached over and tipped her chin to look at him, "Nanashi, please don't cry. I am sorry; I am not upset with you. I'm upset with myself for not finding the right way to teach you. Forgive me, please." He looked at her beseechingly.

"Of course, Sesshoumaru-sama." She looked thoughtful for a moment, "When those men attacked me, I was scared and angry. I didn't think about what I was doing. Before I left the inn, I was angry, and that is why I could get the dishes in the kitchen, but it was difficult." She sighed, "It is not your fault, tenshi. You are doing everything you can. It is me who is the problem."

He firmly took hold of her chin, again forcing her to look at him, "You are not a problem, Nanashi. Don't even think such a thing." She fought against her instinct to flinch back from his intensity. She managed to nod in his grip and he released her chin, running his fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "You will never be a problem, little Nanashi," he said tenderly, causing her to blush and drop her eyes again.

His feelings of protectiveness had deepened over the autumn and early winter. He cared deeply about the girl and found himself thinking about her even during his own lessons with Subaru, or in his room at night. He would lay awake, listening to her breathing in the room next to him. She filled his dreams, and he would hold her there, tenderly, taking away her fears and soothing away her insecurities. During the day, he had to fight his desire to hold her, however. He had seen some of the looks Subaru had given him when she felt he was being too intimate with her. He also knew that Nanashi still thought of him as a demon, or an angel. He wanted her to think of him as someone she could love, but he didn't know how to proceed.

Subaru watched the two, frowning to herself. She would have preferred to have Nanashi in a class with the other students, but the girl was overly jumpy around the others. The girl was also wary of Subaru herself and made no progress when taught alone. She responded best to Sesshoumaru, although there was still little progress made. She hadn't told them yet that Lord Inutaisho had requested her presence at the solstice celebration. The girl kept her distance from all the other demons in the house at present, taking meals early to avoid the majority of the students. The only demons she would stay near were herself and Sesshoumaru, and she displayed a marked preference for Sesshoumaru's company, even if she wasn't always comfortable with him. She had tried to discourage this dependence, but both seemed to desire it. Sesshoumaru had feelings for the girl, even though he knew she disapproved, and the girl still saw him as an angel in some ways. She continued to watch as the lesson proceeded.

"Nanashi, let's try the barrier now for a while. Close your eyes and imagine yourself surrounded by power, like you're in the center of a large ball." She followed his instructions and faintly the air around her began to glow purple. "Good, think the power stronger, make it darker around you." The air flickered as the shield wavered in intensity. Nanashi's face was contorted in effort. "Don't fight so hard, Nanashi, you can do this, just let it out." The barrier darkened for a moment, then exploded outwards as Nanashi lost control of it. Sesshoumaru was flung on his back and Subaru was pushed against the wall opposite the doorway she'd been standing in. Nanashi looked mortified, but before she could begin to apologize, Sesshoumaru spoke, "Well, that was stronger than before, Nanashi, that's good. You're making progress, that's good." He looked at her and saw how tired she'd become. "Why don't you go eat and then rest, Nanashi? We've done well today."

After the girl left, Sesshoumaru turned to face Subaru. She cocked her head to one side, "Maybe you should consider shielding when she practices, my student."

"She is making progress," he retorted defensively.

"I do not doubt that, Sesshoumaru. What worries me is that she continues to struggle so much with things that should be easy for her. I wish I knew what else to do for her."

Sesshoumaru was surprised by his sensei's admittance. Subaru had been a teacher since before time, he believed, and what she didn't know wasn't worth knowing or didn't exist. He found it disturbing that she would admit fault and she must have seen this on his face because she said, "One who is wise knows that they do not know everything, Sesshoumaru. Always remember that. It is vital to life to be dynamic and to change with the days and the seasons. To remain the same, locked into believing that everything is known, you will live as though dead. Even today, I have learned something that I did not know before," she smiled at him, "I learned that I can still be knocked off my feet."

Sesshoumaru did not find his sensei's humor reassuring and frowned. "Subaru-sensei, if you don't know how to help Nanashi, who else is there that could?"

Subaru frowned. She had not told him of her visits with Taliesin. They talked about once a week; since her night time was his midday and with winter set in, he was frequently called on to entertain. She had been learning from him the aspects of his magic and she'd been teaching him hers. She was beginning to think that maybe Nanashi would benefit more from his magic than hers. She had on occasion discussed her worries about Nanashi with him and integrated what suggestions she could without seeming to change too many things. Those ideas she was able to add worked well and allowed the girl to make the progress she had made so far. She was beginning to think of sending the girl to Taliesin, but hesitated, knowing that Nanashi would not go without Sesshoumaru, nor could she, due to the great distance. Hedging her answer, "Something will occur to me, Sesshoumaru."

"Like those other ideas `occurred' to you? Like having her use visualizations instead of relying on sight? Like…"

Subaru cut him off, "Whelp, don't question me!" She modified her tone and continued, "When you are ready to hear, you will hear. Until then, I will keep my confidences to myself." Her mood altering, "It is two weeks to the solstice, as you know. Your father has requested Nanashi's presence at the celebration. I leave it to you to tell her, Sesshoumaru."