InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Angel of Mercy ❯ Solstice Reslolutions and Revelations ( Chapter 14 )

The day before the solstice, Nanashi was nervous and could not focus on her lesson. Sesshoumaru had asked if she wanted to meet her family. She could see that this was important to him, though, at fist, she didn't understand why. She agreed before remembering that her family was also his, and was, therefore, demons. Even though she'd been at Subaru's for two months, she still wasn't comfortable around the demons. She'd heard many stories about them at the inn, how they were ruthless and cruel. She knew that Sesshoumaru was a demon, too, but he was different. He rescued her and seemed to care about her welfare. But, her mind insisted, he is still a demon. He was also her angel, so fair and gifted. Her mind struggled to rectify these concepts, but she'd not been able to make any progress. She also knew that her painfully slow progress frustrated him. She tried, she really did, but she remained afraid of succeeding. She still hadn't forgotten the beatings, even though Sesshoumaru told her she'd never be beaten again. He had never raised his hand against her, though he did sometimes yell. He always was sorry after yelling, though. He told her that he didn't want her to be afraid. He really did try to teach her and she didn't understand that, but she was beginning to accept his care for her.

"Nanashi, you're not focused. What's bothering you?" Sesshoumaru finally asked after she'd stared at the bowl of water she was supposed to move for almost an hour without any form of success.

She was about to deny any problems when she caught his eye. He wasn't going to accept denial. She looked at the ground and almost too softly for him to hear, "I'm afraid for tomorrow."

Sesshoumaru reached across the table and lifted her chin so she would look at him. "Nanashi, you don't need to worry. You will be welcomed with open arms and hearts. Your mother was much loved. My father wants you to be there and you will get to meet your family. Don't you want that?"

She began to shake, "At…at the inn, they said, they said that demons would….they would…" she swallowed and pulled back from him, bringing her knees to her chest.

Her fear hurt him. "Nanashi," he began more sharply than he meant to. Modifying his tone, he began again, "Nanashi, has anyone here done anything to you that they said we would do?" She mutely shook her head. "No one in my father's house, in your family's house will hurt you. If they do, they will answer to me and my father and Subaru-sensei. Little one, you have less to fear of demons than you do of men." Her face told him she wasn't convinced. He looked at her gently, "Would it help if I promised to stay with you the whole time?" She gave a single nod, which gratified him greatly. "I make that promise to you, Nanashi. I will remain by your side the entire day." His mood changed, "Let's take the rest of the day off and watch the snow fall outside." She finally smiled at him for suggesting one of her favorite activities and followed him to the courtyard.

Subaru, who'd been listening in the next room, found herself getting angry, both with herself and the fools at the inn who fed such lies to the girl. No wonder the girl had trouble calming down enough to learn. Her idea of sending Nanashi to Taliesin gained more weight with each passing day and especially with this conversation. Subaru believed that when the girl learned control, her fear would diminish, but while she continued to live with Subaru her fear would not allow her to gain control. She expected to talk with Taliesin tonight to share midwinter greetings, for she found out that his people also celebrated the solstice, though at different parts of the day. Subaru's people celebrated during the day, culminating in a large fire at sunset, whereas Taliesin's people celebrated at night, dancing around bonfires from sunset until dawn. He told her that winter was the Lady's season and she was represented by the moon, so they celebrated when the moon would be in the sky. She also learned that the Lady represented the stages of a woman's life, from girlhood to motherhood to old age, but that the Lord was singular, only the Horned Man. These musings aside, she would ask Taliesin about the possibility of Nanashi and Sesshoumaru joining him for a while. She prayed that this was the right course of action, but her doubts remained. She had a sense of foreboding regarding this decision, but she couldn't identify why. Her scrying bowl remained dark when she sought the answer, causing her much frustration. She shook her head to clear it. Her decision was made. She would need to tell Sesshoumaru, but that could wait until after she talked with Taliesin.

That night, Taliesin greeted her when she arrived, "May the blessings of the Lady and the Lord rain down on you and your family, Lady Subaru. May the coming renewal bring plenty to your house!" He grinned at her broadly and she was struck by the missing hair on his face. He looked even younger than he had before, barely a man without it. She must have been staring, for his hand went to his chin and his grin turned rueful. "It is customary to shave for the Lady's celebration, although the beard does keep the face warm."

She smiled, "May the gods bless you, Taliesin, and may blessings fall into your lap." Her face turned sober and he responded in kind. Sighing, she began, "Taliesin, I think it is time to consider sending Nanashi and Sesshoumaru to you. She responds well to your suggestions, but she is afraid of demons because of rumors she heard before she arrived. I believe that if she is away from us for awhile, she will overcome her fears and be able to use her powers more effectively and then she will not fear us anymore. Sesshoumaru would need to take her because of the distance and I don't think separating them is wise, even though having them together is not wise, either."

"Lady, what is it you fear?"

Her frustration came out, "Gods, I wish I knew. I have this feeling that things are going to go badly, but I can't find a reason that they would. My bowl remains empty anytime I look at it. I just feel that both of them are going to experience a lot of pain before things are over. I wish I could somehow spare them that. She has suffered enough and he is suffering already."

"She still sees him as a protector?" Subaru nodded and he continued, "Maybe sending them away is a good idea. It could show her that she can indeed protect herself and maybe she'll begin to see him in a different light?"

"I think that is a little optimistic," Subaru replied, almost under her breath.

"Lady Subaru, I will consult my oracles and let you know the results when we next meet, but I think it would be a good idea. I would welcome the opportunity to learn from one of your students and he could also learn from me and teach you, milady. I'll see you in a week, Lady." He bowed to her and flew away in the bird of prey form.

The next morning, Nanashi was dressed in her new clothes, a gift from Subaru. Her shirt was white silk with violet overstitching and her skirt was dyed violet, as well. Subaru told her it was to match her obi and that she could wear it if she wanted. It would let others know who she was. She stood in her room with her obi in hand when Sesshoumaru knocked on the door and looked in. Nanashi looked at him with tears hovering in her eyes. "I don't know how to put it on," she confessed, blushing.

Walking over, Sesshoumaru took the obi from her hands and deftly tied it around her waist. He then picked up her ribbon and drew her hair back to the nape of her neck and tied it there. "Better?" he asked. Her eyes were glittering when she looked at him and nodded. Her emotions were running high, she was frightened, nervous, excited and on edge. Sesshoumaru stepped back and regarded her as objectively as he could. She had gained some weight in the time she'd been with them. Though she remained thin, she had begun to develop the body of a woman. Her hair now had a luster to its darkness and her skin no longer could be called sallow. Her eyes stood out in her face, a golden brown color. Altogether, she looked healthier and more appealing. He smiled at her, "You look very nice, Nanashi. Don't be frightened, I will be with you all day today." He wished he could say what he truly thought, that she was lovely, beautiful. He wished he could tell her how he felt, but at some level he knew that he could not. He also knew that Subaru disliked that he had feelings for the girl, or had reason to disapprove, though she had not shared with him what those might be.

For Nanashi, the day passed in a whirl of colors and impressions. There were more people-demons, her mind corrected-than she'd ever seen. They all smiled at her and wished her well. Sesshoumaru, true to his word, stayed by her side. He introduced her formally to his father, her uncle. In an excess of good spirits, Inutaisho hugged the baffled girl, welcoming her home, and kissed her cheek. Deeply embarrassed and gratified by this welcome, Nanashi attempted to hide between Sesshoumaru and the wall. This lasted until the music started for dancing. Over her feeble protestations that she did not know any dances, Sesshoumaru led her onto the dance floor and guided her expertly through the figures of the dances. She found she enjoyed dancing greatly and smiled warmly at him, causing him to miss a step and her to giggle. She even allowed Inutaisho to guide her through a dance. After dancing there was a feast so grand and elaborate, it contained dishes Nanashi didn't recognize. Conversation ebbed and flowed, punctuated with laughter. Everyone seemed in to delight in each other's company, and several made comments toward Nanashi that she managed to answer briefly. No one asked anything more difficult of her than if she was enjoying herself and seemed content with her vaguely truthful "yes, thank you's." She saw none of the horrors spoken to her by the various travelers of the inn, nor of the innkeeper and his wife. At the end of the feast, every one filed into the courtyard for a large bonfire and prayers for the coming season. When the fire had died down and good-byes were said, Sesshoumaru took Nanashi back to Subaru's house. Standing in front of her door, she smiled up at him, took his hands in hers and pressed her lips them both, murmuring "Thank you, tenshi," as she did. She then retreated quickly behind her door.

Sesshoumaru stood staring at her door dumbly. Several times that day, she had smiled at him and his heart had lurched to his throat. And now this! It felt as though the world had opened up to him.

He was still staring at the door when Subaru walked into him, lost in her own thoughts. He made to apologize when she stopped him. A look of resolution crossed over her face. "Come with me, Sesshoumaru. I have to tell you something.

Sesshoumaru followed Subaru to her study and watched from the doorway as she continued to pace. She glared and him and motioned him to come in and sit. She paced the length of her study a couple more times before sitting across the table from him. Taking a deep breath, she began, "Soon after Nanashi arrived, a sensei from far away contacted me. His name is Taliesin. We have been in regular contact since and it is from him that the suggestions for helping Nanashi have come. I have talked with him about sending her to him to study and his is making his decision. If it is decided, I would like for you to accompany her, both to learn and to help her travel the distance. Taliesin is a human like Nanashi in many ways. He told me that he does not know of his parents, that he was found in a pelt in a river as a baby. He is very gifted and his suggestions have worked well for Nanashi. I am hoping that by sending her to him, she will overcome her fears. But, at the same time, I have a strange foreboding about the journey. Are you willing to go with her?"

Sesshoumaru stared openly at his sensei. "What is it that you fear will happen, Subaru-sensei?" he asked as a cover for his surprise and need for quick thinking.

She sighed, "I wish I knew, Sesshoumaru, but it's hidden from me. Taliesin is going to try to divine what it may be while he decides. I do not like sending my students into unknown danger."

To cover his amazement, he dissembled, "Life is full of unknown dangers, sensei. We can only prepare as best as possible for all possibilities and hope for the best."

She gave him a wry grin, "Quoting me to myself, are you? I'm pleased to know that you paid attention. Are you willing to go into the unknown?"

He looked at her levelly, "I promised to protect Nanashi. I will do so no matter where you send her. I will go with her into the unknown."

A shadow passed over Subaru's features so quickly Sesshoumaru almost thought he imagined it. "Very well, in about a week's time, I'll let you know what Taliesin has decided." Abruptly, her mood changed, "How went the celebration?"

He smiled, "Very well. My father danced with her and she seemed to enjoy herself. Everyone was glad to see her and acted almost as though her mother had returned to us. She didn't say much, but what she did say was gracious. I think it was a good experience."

Subaru's face relaxed into a relieved smile, "I am glad to hear that. Go to sleep now, Sesshoumaru, and don't stare at her door anymore tonight." Her smile deepened as he struggled not to blush.