InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Blackout ❯ A No-Win Situation ( Chapter 43 )

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I’m just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I’ve created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.


A No-Win Situation


A brief lesson in military tactics. Conventional wisdom said that archers were best used to rain down death upon enemies from a distance. They were vulnerable in close quarters combat, and would be swiftly massacred if an opponent was able to catch them with cavalry or even melee infantry. But those rules only applied to battles between human armies; small-scale warfare was different. The trick when facing an archer was still to close the distance, but actually achieving that objective could be difficult in practice. Especially when you were the archer’s only target, and your enemy was well-trained. You had to get in close to win, but the closer you got to the archer, the harder it became to avoid her projectiles. It was an interesting dilemma to say the least.

Kikyou’s first arrow had nearly crippled him. He’d taken barely two steps toward her before she released it, but even at that distance it had taken lightning reflexes to avoid it. His reflexes were fortunately up to the task, but in his excitement he foolishly underestimated the swath of pure energy which would inevitably trail behind the projectile. Kikyou’s reiki seemed to burn right through his fire-rat robes, tendrils of pink light crackling and scorching the flesh underneath. He’d been lucky that only the trailing edge had caught him, causing a painful but otherwise harmless injury. A sufficiently large dose of reiki, however, would purify him completely. While Hakago couldn’t say exactly what would happen in that situation, he could make an educated guess based on his experiences during the new moon. At those times, Inuyasha’s body reverted to that of a human and his youki, which was the source of his resistance, vanished entirely. Hakago was left in complete control of a human body, and was able to use the natural powers he’d been born with, chief among them erecting a barrier for protection.

The thought of being purified by Kikyou filled him with dread. If he reverted to human form, he didn’t completely trust his own barrier to keep her at bay until Inuyasha’s youki returned. And if his barrier did fall, he would be completely at the dead miko’s mercy. She might very well be able to restrain him with her shinidamachu and force him out of Inuyasha’s body with her reiki.

There was no way he was going to allow that to happen. He supposed he could simply blow her away with a Kaze no Kizu, but that would be incredibly unsatisfying. How was he supposed to get any enjoyment from Kikyou’s death if she was there one moment and then disintegrated in the next? He wouldn’t even get to see her face! He needed to do more to crush Inuyasha’s spirit, or the hanyou might continue to fight him. Besides, the familiar lust for battle was already coursing through his veins. This was one of those rare opportunities for him to truly enjoy himself, and he was not about to squander it because of a little danger. The peril actually made life more enjoyable, he found.

That didn’t mean he would charge at Kikyou again without a plan. He was neither stupid nor suicidal. He just needed to fight to his advantages, of which there were several. The most obvious one was his tremendous edge in power and speed, which would afford Kikyou only one chance to fire. If she missed, he would be on top of her before she had time to draw another arrow. That only held true for a clean miss, of course; as he’d already discovered, a near miss would impart enough reiki upon him to slow him down or even stop him in his tracks. He did, however, possess excellent reflexes and a level of intelligence which he was sure that Kikyou was underestimating. And finally, he wielded both the Shikon no Tama and Tetsusaiga, formidable weapons in their own right which could prove decisive if used correctly. But for now, Hakago decided to make one more attempt to close the distance using Inuyasha’s innate abilities only.

He crept forward cautiously, testing how close Kikyou would let him come before releasing her arrow. She watched him with narrowed eyes, never flinching or giving any indication that she was about to fire. There seemed to be no fatigue in her clay body; she stood still as a statue, as though she could hold that pose for days, or until the bowstring snapped under the strain. Finally Hakago reached what he sensed to be the point of no return. If he moved much closer, he probably wouldn’t be able to dodge Kikyou’s arrow if it was aimed at the center of his body. He paused for a moment, debating whether to attempt to cross the remaining distance with some sort of evasive maneuver. Then Kikyou fired.

With an audible cry he threw himself to the ground, using gravity and every ounce of agility he possessed to move out of the projectile’s path. Searing pain arced across his back, though it was clear that the arrow had missed and only the reiki had struck him. If he had not caught himself on his hands and knees, the next arrow would have pierced his flesh and likely driven the youki from his body in a burst of blinding agony. As it was, maintaining some degree of balance enabled him to roll out of the incoming projectile’s path and lurch to his feet. He then beat a hasty retreat, moving backward with measured leaps. Perhaps disappointed by her failure, Kikyou fired another arrow which at the greater distance was more easily dodged by her opponent. She cursed quietly, probably berating herself for the ill-advised waste of ammunition. Then she armed herself once more, adopting the cool and deadly stance which Hakago had first found her in.

The former infant breathed heavily, golden eyes ablaze with the thrill of his close escape. Logically, he should probably be frightened by the near disaster. But his excitement drowned out any fear, a violent lust reinvigorating his muscles and fueling his thundering heartbeat. His mind remained as composed and calculating as ever, as he processed the information he had learned about his enemy. First, he had confirmed his initial hypothesis about the imaginary point of no return. An accurate arrow fired from a shorter distance would likely have purified him, either directly or with a heavy dose of residual reiki. At the very least, it would have knocked him off balance enough so that Kikyou’s next projectile could finish the job. But on the other hand, the dead miko was trying to conserve ammunition. An interesting dilemma confronted her as well; she would likely need multiple shots in order to defeat him, but only possessed a finite stock of arrows to begin with. Hakago couldn’t tell the exact figure, but she’d started with close to a full quiver, which likely meant two dozen at least. Four had already been spent, and he had yet to suffer any significant damage. His body had already shaken off the reiki from the near misses, and was ready for action once more.

He would not, however, be employing the same strategy again. Too many things could go wrong. Even if he approached with evasive maneuvers, if Kikyou guessed right he was done for. So no, conventional means were not likely to meet with success. It was time to break out his secret weapon, something which the dead miko could not possibly have anticipated or devised a counterstrategy for. With a flourish he drew Tetsusaiga, then pulled the Shikon no Tama from his robes. Kikyou observed warily, her eyes widening slightly in alarm as the jewel’s corruption crept up the blade. But she could do nothing as Tetsusaiga and its wielder transformed in a burst of evil energy. Hakago wasted no time in charging toward his prey. There was a time limit on using this ability, after all, and if he didn’t defeat Kikyou before Inuyasha’s caged beast forced him to revert to hanyou form again, then he’d be right back where he started.

Kikyou’s first arrow clanged off Tetsusaiga’s blade less than a half meter above the hilt, causing the sword to howl in agony as the force of the accompanying reiki knocked its wielder slightly off balance. Hakago stumbled but kept coming, slowly drawing closer and closer to his target each time Kikyou paused to reload. After seeing three projectiles blocked by the blade, she lowered her aim and tried to take out his legs. That forced Hakago to alter his approach, whereupon his opponent raised her aim once more and fired at his chest. This pattern repeated itself several times until Hakago leapt back a few steps to break the cycle. By then he could almost make out each individual arrow in Kikyou’s quiver; no more than a dozen remained, by his estimate.

Snarling with renewed vigor, Hakago charged again, this time at an angle to the left. Kikyou tracked his movement, the tip of her arrow glinting in the waning light. Wanting to experiment, Hakago faked to the right on a path which would take him toward his prey, then juked abruptly back to the left. He was prepared to block with Tetsusaiga, but Kikyou’s arrow missed badly, passing through the spot where he would have been if he hadn’t changed direction that last time. His actual course didn’t get him much closer to her, but that was another arrow wasted without further strain upon Tetsusaiga, which still throbbed in pained protest. He wasn’t sure how much more bludgeoning the sword could take before Kikyou’s reiki forced it to revert back to its dormant state, and he didn’t plan on finding out.

The next couple minutes passed quickly for our two combatants. Hakago remained constantly in motion, attempting to change direction as often and as randomly as possible as he gradually worked his way closer. Kikyou understood what he was up to and spent her ammunition more carefully after that first errant shot. Hakago was able to dodge a few, but was forced to block the majority with Tetsusaiga. The sword was obviously not pleased about this, and soon it became apparent to both combatants that the mighty youkai blade was nearing its limit. Would it last long enough to deflect Kikyou’s final three arrows? The outcome of the battle might hinge on the answer to that question.

Hakago pushed himself as hard as he could, pulling out every trick he knew to throw off Kikyou’s aim. But the miko was unshakable, putting the next two arrows right on his chest. The second was the final straw for Tetsusaiga, which transformed with a final mournful howl. Not even the power of the Shikon no Tama flowing through the blade was able to protect it from the accumulated reiki of over a dozen impacts. Hakago skidded to a halt as Kikyou drew her final arrow, hanyou and miko facing each other for perhaps the final time. Hakago breathed heavily, every muscle in his body tensed. He didn’t even dare to blink, as close as he was to the imaginary point of no return. Perhaps he had crossed it already; he couldn’t be sure. What he was sure of was that Tetsusaiga would be of no help to him anymore; he would have to rely on his own strength and that of the Shikon no Tama. He sheathed the useless sword, waiting for Kikyou to release her final arrow.

She didn’t fire. It took Hakago only a few moments to realize why. Kikyou must have comprehended the truth behind his full-youkai transformation; she probably sensed the caged beast raging within, clawing its way out of its hanyou prison. With Hakago’s mental capacity taxed by the fury of the battle, Inuyasha’s full-youkai essence had grown dangerously close to overwhelming the infant’s defenses. He could not remain in this form for much longer, and Kikyou knew it. That was why she held her arrow, correctly assuming that it would be easier to hit a normal hanyou than one temporarily transformed into a full-youkai. His physical abilities were impressive in either form, but definitely received a boost when the caged beast came out to play.

Hakago cursed under his breath, surreptitiously scanning his surroundings as he settled on a strategy. He discovered several interesting things, but pushed the knowledge to the back of his mind. None of the information would do him any good unless he could dodge Kikyou’s last arrow. Finally, he settled on a strategy for his approach. He darted to the right, cutting and juking erratically, finally turning and running toward his quarry for half a step before digging his claws into the ground and throwing himself violently in the other direction. When he landed, expecting that Kikyou had fired her last arrow and was now defenseless, he instead found the tip of the projectile pointed directly at the center of his chest, her cold eyes seeming to grin smugly at him though her lips remained as pursed and emotionless as ever. A flash of icy fear passed through Hakago’s gut; at this distance, even full-youkai Inuyasha’s feet would be unable to propel his body out of the way. Just as he realized this, Kikyou fired.

The arrow lanced in, its reiki filling his vision with blinding light. In desperation, Hakago swung his dominant right hand out of reflex, which as luck would have it still held the Shikon no Tama. Time seemed to freeze as the two fundamentally opposing forces clashed. Hakago’s fist struck the arrow on the shaft just behind the point. Absent the Shikon no Tama, the desperate flailing swat would have been repulsed by Kikyou’s reiki and the arrow would have continued on to bury itself in Hakago’s chest, purifying Inuyasha’s body completely. But the corrupted jewel held power of its own, and the evil which currently possessed it did not suffer reiki to pass.

It happened in an instant, a detonation of light and energy which could be seen and heard for over a kilometer. But as a fierce wind buffeted him, pulling at his hair and clothing, Hakago kept his eyes open and witnessed the miracle. Kikyou’s reiki and the dark power of the Shikon no Tama were fairly evenly matched, that much was obvious. But this was not a head-on contest of strength. The arrow bearing the reiki rushed forward, while Hakago’s fist struck it from the side, the jewel’s power allowing him to use the projectile’s own momentum against it. The arrow deflected, flying past his left side to skip along the ground, its trailing reiki blasting him with purity. But it was not enough, either to cripple him or to purify his body. Kikyou had failed.

There was no panic in her expression, however, as Hakago discovered when he recovered his balance and began moving toward her. And he knew why. Kikyou had indeed underestimated his intelligence, and specifically his awareness of his surroundings. She didn’t think he had counted the shinidamachu circling overhead before the battle, or noticed when one of them snuck off into the trees. She didn’t believe he had heard the tiny sound of an arrowhead being withdrawn from the bark of a tree, or anticipated her final last-ditch plan. He knew exactly what she had in mind. He would charge in recklessly, blinded by impending victory and his own desire for the kill. Just before he reached her, an arrow would drop from the sky courtesy of her sly shinidamachu, and she would fire it at him from point-blank range. That would undoubtedly spell the end of the Great Hakago. If the purifying arrow did not kill him outright, Kikyou would finish the job soon after. Obviously, he was having none of that, though he did continue his charge. The shinidamachu moved to overtake him, arcing in toward its mistress from the side. Hakago was ready for it. His right hand was already covered in blood from its clash with the last arrow. It was perfect.

Kikyou cried out in dismay as the crimson blades of the Hijin Ketsusou tore through her servant and its precious cargo. Her composure broke spectacularly, her expression revealing fear for the first time. Hakago drank it in, the sights and sounds, and determined that he would wring much more despair from Kikyou before he let her die. Now barely a meter separating them, he drew back his fist and plunged it forward. She raised her bow to ward him off, the weapon glowing with reiki, but it might as well have been made of paper. His fist powered through the bow, snapping the wood and slamming into the artificial flesh underneath. A choked cry escaped Kikyou as she was thrown back several meters, skidding to a halt on her back. She lay on the ground unmoving, stunned by the blow despite her lack of lungs and other vital organs.

Hakago cackled maliciously, his eyes darkening to a more sadistic shade of red. But as enjoyable as it would be to shred Kikyou’s artificial body in Inuyasha’s full-youkai form, it was inadvisable for two reasons. The first was obvious–maintaining the transformation any longer would put his mind in real jeopardy. Beyond that, this was the perfect chance to rid himself of Inuyasha’s lingering consciousness once and for all. If he overcame the hanyou’s resistance using the Shikon no Tama or the power of the caged beast, it would provide him with an excuse. Inuyasha might remember the other woman he needed to fight for, and take solace in the fact that only by using dirty tricks had Hakago managed to end Kikyou’s life by his own claws. Perhaps he would be able to fight harder for the other woman he loved, and for his unborn child?

Hakago obviously didn’t wish to grant his prisoner any reason to hope. This wasn’t about simply killing Kikyou; it was about proving to Inuyasha how weak and helpless he truly was. And the only way to do that was to carry out the act while in hanyou form, while Inuyasha’s resistance was at its peak. If he could beat Inuyasha using nothing but his own willpower, then the hanyou would fall into despair, and final victory would be his.

Decision made, Hakago dropped the Shikon no Tama. Instantly the transformation receded, and Inuyasha’s resistance intensified. He knew what his captor had planned, and was giving everything he had in order to prevent it. But it wasn’t enough. That’s right, Inuyasha. I’m going to slaughter your precious Kikyou with your own claws. For the second time, your weakness will cause the death of the woman you love. Go ahead and fight me. Scratch and claw, struggle with all your might. Then, when you have failed Kikyou yet again, collapse under the crushing weight of despair!

After stooping to pick up the Shikon no Tama, Hakago strode confidently toward his fallen prey, Inuyasha’s fury proving no more of a hindrance than a stiff wind in his face. Kikyou had regained her senses and tried to rise, but he wrapped his left hand around her neck and slammed her to the ground. Then he picked her up by the throat and dragged her over to a nearby tree, pinning her against the trunk. Her hands came up to pull futilely at his wrist, for although her artificial body did not need air, her slender neck could only take so much abuse before it literally fell apart. Gale force winds buffeted him then, as his free right hand moved toward Kikyou’s chest. He would sink his claws into her flesh, then tear her open and watch as the trapped souls escaped her. He would savor every moment of sorrow as she gradually faded into nothingness.

Moving his right hand was like pushing a boulder, but progress was steady. Within thirty seconds his claws brushed up against the front of Kikyou’s robes. In another half minute they scraped the dead flesh underneath. When the claw on his middle finger began to sink into Kikyou’s body, however, Inuyasha’s resistance rose another level, bringing his progress to a halt. The hanyou’s desperation nearly pushed him back, but he refused to retreat. With a great effort which drew a determined snarl from his throat, Hakago threw all of his formidable willpower to the grisly task at hand. In moments, the titanic clash of wills came to its climax. A choked gasp escaped Kikyou as his claws tore through her flesh, burying themselves in the bark at her back.

Inuyasha’s despairing wail reverberated through Hakago’s mind, a cross between the inconsolable cry of a man and the mournful howl of an inu-youkai. How fitting, Hakago reflected, that his final lament should be a combination of human and youkai, the very contradiction which made him such a weakling in the first place. Never had a sound been so beautiful. A more perfect end for a hated adversary had never been devised. Hakago observed gleefully as Inuyasha fell, stumbling to his proverbial knees as tears flowed down his cheeks. He was so close now…one final push would break him completely.

But Kikyou was not yet defeated, and she obviously had no intention of becoming the reason for her beloved’s demise. Her hands came to rest on Hakago’s shoulders, releasing a torrent of reiki which simultaneously paralyzed him and set his nerves afire with pain. This was the danger associated with not killing the miko quickly; if she had time to recover, she could prove deadly in close quarters, where her lack of a weapon did not matter. Hakago, however, was no fool. He had never expected Kikyou to go down without a fight. He had wagered that his own youki would be formidable enough to repulse his enemy’s reiki, augmented as it was by the Shikon no Tama. For the jewel was completely corrupted now, and responded willingly to its master’s aura. In short, the evil will of the Shikon no Tama did not want to be purified.

Lashing out accordingly, the jewel’s power knocked Kikyou’s reiki back. Combining with Hakago’s youki, the two forces drove the miko to the breaking point. Gritting her teeth, she threw in the last of her power, managing to draw the ebb and flow of the cataclysmic conflict to a standstill. But it was clear that Kikyou would weaken long before either Hakago or the jewel did. And once her reiki receded more fully from his form, the paralysis would dissipate and he would be free to finish what he had started when he sunk his claws into her chest.

A sudden disturbing sensation from the depths of his mind alerted him that something was amiss. Turning his attention inward, he discovered a foreign presence slithering through his consciousness, a serpent seeking its mate. It was Kikyou’s reiki. She…she’s looking for Inuyasha! Her attempts to purify him were merely a distraction; she’d likely known that the effort was futile on her own and had pinned her hopes on freeing her hanyou companion trapped within his own body. In this she would be disappointed. Kikyou could no more liberate Inuyasha than she could save herself from her own foolishness. No one with a heart as bitter and corrupt as hers could hope to overcome the power of the Great Hakago, heir to Naraku and master of the Shikon no Tama! Kikyou’s own selfish desires to drag Inuyasha to hell with her, whether by his will or against it, would be her undoing. In attempting to reach the man she professed to love, she had exposed her mind and heart to foreign invasion. It was an opportunity too perfect to pass up. Summoning his most innate ability, the power which had already corrupted the hearts of two individuals far purer than Kikyou herself, Hakago struck.

In an instant, he smashed through Kikyou’s defenses and grasped her heart in his hand, at once gaining access to every emotion, everything which made her who she was. Flush with success, he paused briefly to ridicule his victim before beginning his work.

“Poor, poor Kikyou. You survived Naraku’s poison, only to be killed by the man you love. How does it feel? The bitter sting of betrayal, the knowledge that your own weakness has doomed the only person you ever cared about in this world. Will you let me taste it?”

There was no response. Dimly Hakago felt a pair of slender arms wrap around the shoulders of his physical body, as if Kikyou was embracing him. The potency of her reiki did not deteriorate in the slightest. Deciding that her lack of reaction to his words was an anomaly, Hakago shrugged mentally and delved into her consciousness. He would find the darkness in Kikyou’s heart, and then her stubborn resolve would collapse like a castle made of sand.

No obvious source of darkness was apparent upon his initial inspection, so he probed deeper. Still no darkness appeared, so he intensified his efforts. Time passed slowly, each second driving his anxiety gradually higher. What was going on? Each avenue pursued led only to a dead end. No matter what he tried, he could find no darkness.

How did that make any sense? Kikyou was the tragic priestess! She had loathed her duty of guarding the Shikon no Tama so much that she stooped to associating with a hanyou, finding companionship in the only person on Earth as lonely as her. Then she had betrayed him, allowing mistrust to fester until Naraku came along with a simple trick that any well-trained miko should have seen through easily. She pinned the man she professed to love to a tree for fifty years, though he was completely innocent in her death. After her resurrection, she tried to drag Inuyasha to hell, handed Naraku the Shikon no Tama, and generally behaved like a vindictive, bitter old shrew. Her actions had directly or indirectly contributed to her former love being placed in mortal danger many times, and in blind rage she had nearly killed an innocent woman and her unborn child. How could there possibly be no darkness in this monster’s heart?

“It has to be here,” Hakago muttered to himself, searching frantically through Kikyou’s subconscious now. “Where is it? Where is it?!”

“You will find no darkness within me.”

“Kikyou, you bitch!” he cried, raging against her disembodied voice, so smug and calm that it made him want to level a whole forest or massacre a village just to relieve his anger. “That’s not possible! Your desire to take Inuyasha to hell is corrupt in and of itself!”

“I have moved beyond such desires. I am no longer the woman I used to be.”

Hakago’s mind slowed to a crawl. Could Kikyou’s words be true? No! She said herself that she wanted to take Inuyasha to hell. She was telling the truth then! Or was she? His nose had confirmed Kikyou’s statement at the time to be genuine, or so he’d thought. But already he had been focused on the thrill of battle, and the chance to mess with an adversary’s head beforehand. Kikyou’s scent had remained constant, and her words had given no indication of untruth. But had he missed something, a telltale sign? A slight fluctuation in her scent or body language to indicate that perhaps she was not speaking as truthfully as he might otherwise believe? It seemed impossible. He was the Great Hakago. He had defeated Kagome, Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, and Kikyou by using his formidable wit, an intelligence which far surpassed any of them. How could he have missed such a crucial detail? It was impossible, he assured himself then. Kikyou was just unusually skilled at hiding the darkness in her heart. But he would find it. And when he did, he would make her suff–

“Inuyasha.”

Hakago gasped, turning his gaze inward once more. With dread settling in his proverbial stomach, he discovered that the tendril of Kikyou’s reiki had nearly reached its target. He could see the two of them now. Inuyasha lay on his side, curled up in a ball and weeping bitterly. His skin held an ethereal quality; he was almost ready to fade away. Kikyou stood in front of him, her hand outstretched, her face showing the strain of maintaining her reiki. But her voice was sweet and soothing, like a mother calling to a frightened child.

“Inuyasha, it is all right. Take my hand.”

Inuyasha’s bone-wracking sobs ceased abruptly. He lifted his head, staring at Kikyou with puffy eyes full of wonder. He sniffed once, then shifted his body, slowly raising himself into a kneeling position. Cautiously he began to crawl toward Kikyou on his hands and knees, his eyes wary but gradually filling with a new emotion. Hope.

Hakago swore aloud, redoubling his efforts. There had to be darkness. There had to be!

“Don’t think you’ve won, Kikyou!” he cried, nevertheless failing to keep the fear from his tone. “Why do you think I was able to take control of Inuyasha’s body in the first place? He raped the woman he truly loves while she begged him not to. And that’s something the worthless half-breed will never be able to forget!”

Hakago expected his words to cause Inuyasha to collapse once more into a blubbering hanyou-shaped ball. But the hanyou only continued to crawl toward Kikyou. It was as though Hakago’s words could no longer reach him. There was, however, a reaction within Kikyou’s heart. The environment shook, and the light permeating this place brightened even further, becoming blinding in its intensity. Pure terror settled over Hakago. He had seen this light before, long ago in another person’s heart. He had marveled at the purity even back then, but had overcome it by discovering a thread of darkness. Here, there existed no such thread. Only light, absolute and impenetrable. But how could this be? What was this light doing here inside Kikyou of all people? This light which so closely resembled that which belonged to…to…

“Kagome…” he muttered in disbelief. Her face swam before his eyes, wearing an expression of complete tranquility, and he realized that the impossible had become reality.

“That’s it, Inuyasha. Take my hand. Remember.”

“No!” Hakago screamed, struggling to return to his own mind and avert the impending disaster. But his power had deserted him, and he could not push his way through the reiki. Instead, he observed from afar as Inuyasha knelt before Kikyou, and stretched out his hand.

“No! No! Nononono! Noooooooooooooooo!!!”

The two hands, hanyou and human, made contact. Hakago’s chest instantly exploded in pain, as though a foreign being was trying to claw its way out of his body. Merely touching Kikyou had strengthened Inuyasha this much?

His frantic efforts to suppress the hanyou proved unsuccessful. He could only watch helplessly as Inuyasha and Kikyou locked eyes, the miko smiling down at him with genuine love dancing in her dark orbs. It was an expression which no one had ever seen her adopt before, not even the man currently being graced by it. Perhaps for the first time, she could gaze upon Inuyasha with true love in her heart.

“No…Kami, please…no…”

His pleas went unanswered.

“Be at peace, Inuyasha,” Kikyou soothed, her smile never wavering. “Remember. Remember what truly occurred that night.”

Inuyasha blinked once, then his gaze turned contemplative. And Hakago’s world turned on its head.

She lay beneath him on the futon, her raven locks fanned haphazardly around her. Her bare breasts heaved with her breathing, covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Her breath came in shallow pants, passing through lips bruised from rough treatment. Her cheeks were flushed, but her expression was not one of embarrassment. Her scent coiled around him, sadness and despair tinged with hints of arousal. Her eyes matched her scent perfectly, tearful and pleading. She shifted slightly, reminding Inuyasha of his own position. He leaned over her, as naked as she was, supporting his upper body with hands braced against the futon on either side of her head. Her right hand was clutched in his left, the hold awkward and undoubtedly uncomfortable for her as he pinned it to the futon. He knelt between her parted legs, his hardness pressed against her thigh, leaving no doubt as to what he had been about to do before something stopped him. Perhaps it had been Kagome’s left hand grasping his bicep, her fingernails digging into the muscle.

“Please, Inuyasha, don’t…”

Her voice trailed off then, and she bit her lower lip. That she was too embarrassed to speak what she was asking him not to do pissed him off. So he wasn’t going to do her any favors. She could fill in her own damn blanks.

“Don’t what, wench?” he snapped, causing her to cringe at the harshness of his tone. A part of him felt guilty for it; this was difficult for her as well, after all. But he was too frustrated to let go of his anger.

This officially sucked. He was drunk. And he was a virgin. He’d never been with a woman before, and had doubted it would ever happen. Yet not fifteen seconds ago, a goddess had lain naked before him, ready to prove him wrong. A gorgeous young woman who happened to be someone very special to him, was willing to share her body with him. Of all the men she could have in two separate worlds, she wanted her first sexual experience to be with him. It boggled the mind. But there was no denying her attraction to him, or the love he swore he saw in her eyes when she looked at him. A frenzied few minutes of messy drunken kisses and awkwardly removing each other’s clothes had only increased their mutual fervor.

A part of him always suspected that Kagome would come to her senses before they actually completed the act, that she would realize what a mistake she was making before they joined as man and woman–or hanyou and woman. But Kagome never asked him to stop, never lent any credence to his subconscious self-loathing. And even when his insecurities drove him to look up to her face one last time as he positioned himself at her entrance, her eyes never reflected anything but love and adoration. Her smile in that moment was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She loved him, truly loved him, and had wanted to join with him in the most intimate way possible. She still did, in fact. Hence the reason why he was so irritated.

Kagome couldn’t make this easy, could she? Was it so much to ask for her to just accept his decision without question? That is, the decision he’d made fifteen torturous seconds ago that he and Kagome couldn’t have sex. No matter how ridiculously beautiful she was, or how alluring her scent, or how aroused they both were, he needed to stop this before it was too late. Kagome was drunk too. She would regret this in the morning. How could she not? Giving her virginity to a trusted friend in some strange hut in the middle of feudal Japan, while intoxicated no less? That ‘trusted friend’ status would go right into the fire if he went through with this. He would be lucky if she didn’t hate him. Even if she miraculously forgave him for taking advantage of her, he would never forgive himself.

How these thoughts had ever managed to work their way through his inebriated consciousness, Inuyasha would never know. Perhaps some deep-seated protective instinct had emerged at the moment when it was needed most. Either way he was grateful; it would save him from making a terrible mistake. That is, unless he gave into the temptress lying beneath him. He needed to get out of here now–throw on his clothes, run several kilometers and submerge himself in the coldest body of water he could find. He could wind up dry humping a glacier for all he cared, so long as he didn’t cause Kagome to hate him.

He almost pulled it off–almost managed to move away from her and make his escape. Ultimately it wasn’t her enticing appearance or the scent of her arousal perfuming the air which caused him to stay. It was the way her eyes dimmed with dejection, the sorrow which leaked into her scent. Her pleading tone, the way her voice nearly cracked with repressed emotion…all of it told him that the reason for her reaction ran far deeper than unrequited sexual need. He had hurt her somehow, and he owed it to her to stay and try to make it better.

“I…” she trailed off, again unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Dammit, Kagome,” he said, his voice far gentler than his words. “We can’t do this. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

She shook her head so violently that her eyes became unfocused and it took several seconds for her inebriated mind to regain some semblance of ocular control. Inuyasha found that downright adorable, but was not pleased by her continued refusal to accept his decision. Didn’t she know that he was only doing what was best for her? He opened his mouth to tell her just that, but she spoke softly in a voice barely above a whisper, the gravity of her words stilling his tongue.

“Please, Inuyasha…just for one night…I want to feel like I’m not second best.”

Inuyasha’s world nearly imploded. How…how was he supposed to respond to that? There was so much wrong with her statement. But it was all his fault. Every insecurity, every element of misery she held deep inside, was his fault. How could he deny her? It was, after all, his responsibility to comfort her.

Inuyasha practically heard the sharp sound of his fragile resolve snapping. He dove into Kagome’s waiting embrace, further bruising her lips with the force of his desperate kiss. She cried out when he entered her and he kissed her temple in apology. But his body was throbbing with need, and with his mind clouded by the alcohol, he lacked the willpower to restrain himself completely.

He was not gentle with her, but nor was he cruel. In the future she would probably come to enjoy this type of lovemaking. But this was her first time, and the discomfort caused by the newness of the act prevented her from deriving much physical enjoyment from it. Still she clung to him, her scent swelling with happiness tempered by pain. Her hands roamed up and down his back as she encouraged him to find his own completion. Inuyasha was powerless to resist. He buried his head in her shoulder and thrust into her body, biting his lip with the effort to keep from being too rough. Blessedly for both of them, his release came upon him quickly, within a couple minutes at most. He climaxed with an uncontrollable growl, wrung from him by the pleasure coursing through his body.

When his orgasm finally subsided, he flopped onto the futon on his side, making sure not to crush his lover. Lover…he had a lover now. It boggled the mind. He opened his eyes to find her still smiling at him, as she mirrored his position on the other side of the futon. The lingering scent of her blood in the air caused him to drop his gaze in shame.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, hoping she understood. Her hand reached out to cup his cheek, drawing his eyes back up to hers. Once she had his attention, she shook her head.

“S’okay,” she told him honestly. “First time?”

He nodded in response, somehow not feeling the slightest embarrassment about the admission. Perhaps it was the way Kagome’s already brilliant smile widened even further.

“I’m glad. Mine too.”

“Kagome,” he breathed. “Thank you.” Turning his head to the side, he planted a light kiss on her palm. The action caused her cheeks to tint noticeably from their already rosy hue, which was odd given what they’d just done. But Inuyasha found it adorable nonetheless. Suddenly he wanted to kiss her again, a desire which unlike before had nothing to do with lust. Kagome’s eyes widened as she read his expression, her smile fading slightly with the magnitude of what she was about to say.

“I love you, Inuyasha.”

Again, he was struck speechless. The only thing he could think to say was her name. And the only thing he could think to do was lean in to kiss her. The encounter was neither chaste nor especially graceful, but it was sweet and thick with passion. This was the type of kiss which spoke of deep feelings left unspoken, of how a man truly felt about the person he loved. It was how he should have been kissing her all along. But in this fleeting utopia, there was no room for regret. He and Kagome loved each other. There would be a ‘next time,’ and he would do better. Much better. Together, they would discover how to truly ‘make love.’ And someday soon, he would find the courage to tell her how much he loved her. He fully intended to show her every day, but the words mattered too.

Eventually they pulled apart, but only so they could cuddle together and rest their exhausted bodies. They quickly drifted off to peaceful slumber, knowing that the morning would bring new challenges. But as long as they remembered this night, this love, they would be okay.

Hakago realized the moment that Inuyasha’s exploration of his own memory ended. The hanyou’s brow furrowed, his golden eyes regaining their lost luster. He gazed up at Kikyou in consternation, as if wondering whether everything he had seen was really true. Whatever he saw in her expression must have confirmed it for him, because in the next moment he could be seen angrily wiping his tears away. He rose to his feet, the unadulterated fury in his stance causing the proverbial hairs to stand on the back of Hakago’s neck. If he had been in possession of a physical body when Inuyasha and Kikyou clasped hands and turned to face him, he would have wet himself.

They assaulted him then, Kikyou’s reiki now buoyed by Inuyasha’s youki. Hakago struggled against the onrushing current, but the hanyou’s willpower was too great. It was not blind rage which drove Inuyasha, but something far more potent, something held dear to his heart. In the end, all Hakago could do was curl into a ball and cry.

Suddenly he was in freefall, a disturbing sensation which did not last very long. It was, however, infinitely more pleasant than impacting the ground on his back. Though it hurt, it did no real damage to his youki-strengthened body. His head did feel rather swollen, however. He reached up with his hands and discovered that his skull was far too big in comparison to the rest of him. He tried to roll onto his front, but found that he lacked the strength. Why couldn’t he move? And why was the canopy above so far away? Every muscle in his body froze as he realized that he recognized this feeling. The sensation of utter helplessness, of being trapped in a useless body with little hope of escape… I…I’m an infant again.

Hakago sobbed once, twice. Then he began to scream.

* * *

Inuyasha groaned, picking himself up onto his hands and knees but not daring to rise any further until the pounding in his temples subsided a bit. He felt like shit, as though an oni had spent the last half-day beating him with a club. That he could not initially recall how he’d wound up in such sorry shape was worrisome, so he spent the next several seconds attempting to piece his memory back together.

A titanic gasp escaped him. Once he exhaled that air, he drew in another deep breath, simply because for the first time in over three months, he possessed the ability to do so. He raised his right hand off the ground, holding it in front of his face and flexing the fingers repeatedly as a grin of pure relief spread across his features. I’m back in control of my own body. I’m…finally me again.

A high-pitched keening wail had him diving to the side, covering his ears with his hands. A glance in the direction of the source revealed a familiar-looking infant lying on the ground, crying loud enough to be heard for kilometers in every direction. Inuyasha, however, did not feel even an iota of sympathy for the little cretin. Taking in the rest of his surroundings, he spotted Kikyou lying nearby, propped up against the base of a tree. Her eyes were closed and he couldn’t tell if she was conscious. He buried his initial inclination to go to her. There was one thing he needed to take care of first.

Rising gingerly to his feet, Inuyasha took a moment to stretch out his senses. Upon detecting no sign of any other presence nearby, he turned to the task at hand. His fingers closed reverentially around Tetsusaiga’s hilt, reacquainting himself with the feel of the bindings against his skin. Then he drew the sword and transformed it in one smooth motion, unable to contain a fleeting smile of pure joy. But it was not to last. Awed by the display of power, the infant suddenly ceased his cries and stared up at Inuyasha with wide, frightened eyes. The hanyou reciprocated the gaze, his expression hard and unforgiving, but not cruel.

“You don’t deserve this, Hakago,” he snarled. “But I’ll give you a quick death.”

The infant drew in a huge breath to unleash an equally massive scream, but Inuyasha plunged Tetsusaiga’s tip into the center of his chest, efficiently inflicting a mortal wound. Hakago continued to stare at his executioner, fear and loathing in his gaze, until his body dissolved to dust and blew away in the wind. Inuyasha felt no sense of triumph at his victory, only grim satisfaction. A great enemy had been defeated, the last legacy of Naraku destroyed. And he…he was finally free. Transforming Tetsusaiga into its rustic form, he held the blade to his forehead for a moment, closing his eyes and reforging old bonds. Then he sheathed the sword and moved to care for the woman who had made all of this possible.

“Kikyou,” he called gently, running the backs of his fingers lightly over her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open, as if the action required a great effort, and she favored him with a warm smile.

“Inuyasha.”

The hanyou’s heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t looked at him like that since before her untimely death, since the last time they had been happy together. Granted, he hadn’t known what true happiness was back then, but each of them had been content with their respective existences for the first time, and looking forward to the future. Inuyasha couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say, so he went with the first idea which came to mind.

“Kikyou, you’re alive!” He immediately cursed himself for stating the obvious like a simpleton. He supposed his surprise was understandable, however, since he hadn’t known that she had survived Naraku’s assault at Mount Hakurei until today.

Kikyou’s smile turned wry. “Yes, Inuyasha. I am alive, in a manner of speaking.”

The hanyou blinked, shocked by the utter lack of bitterness in her tone. To his knowledge, she had never spoken about the state of her existence without resentment. This was becoming very confusing very quickly. Muddled as his mind was, Inuyasha again spoke the first words–or word–which popped into his head.

“How?”

Kikyou made a small sound of amusement. “Naraku was not able to kill me that day on Mount Hakurei. I survived, but I could not purge the miasma from my body. For several turns of the moon I lay dormant, being slowly devoured by Naraku’s poison. Until finally, I received aid from someone I least expected…”

“Kagome,” Inuyasha muttered, instinctively knowing of whom Kikyou spoke. Logically, Kagome was probably the only person who could save her preincarnation from Naraku’s miasma, but he could also see it written on the older miko’s face. Again, the lack of bitterness in her expression and tone shocked him to the core.

“Indeed,” Kikyou confirmed. “Kagome saved me that day, in more ways than one.”

“Kikyou?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but a great shudder passed through her body, choking off her words. Two opaque spheres of brilliant blue emerged from her chest, floating off into the night. Inuyasha’s eyes widened in alarm as he realized what they were, and he frantically looked around for her shinidamachu.

“I sent them away,” Kikyou stated calmly once she had recovered.

“Why, Kikyou?” Inuyasha demanded, dreading the answer.

“I am ready,” she replied simply. Inuyasha began to retort, but the serenity of her expression stilled his tongue. “Do not mourn for me, Inuyasha. For the first time in my life, I am at peace. I have accomplished everything I meant to. I no longer wish to continue this cursed second existence. I am ready…to rest once more. I know I have no right to ask this of you, but…will you stay with me?”

“Of course, Kikyou,” Inuyasha responded automatically. Part of him still wanted to argue with her, but he sensed that nothing he could say would change her mind. She was truly ready to die…to leave him again. It was all he could do to look away and blink back tears. If Kikyou noticed, she refrained from comment.

“Thank you, Inuyasha. Will you carry me? I would like to watch the sunset one last time.”

Inuyasha immediately perked up at that, grateful to have a task to complete. He couldn’t save Kikyou, but at least he could do something to make her more comfortable. If her final wish was within his power, he would move the heavens in order to grant it. He scrambled up a nearby tall tree in record time, finding a sturdy branch from which to look out over the canopy. He could take her up here if necessary, but he didn’t think that’s what she had in mind. Fortunately, over to the east the forest gave way into what looked like a small meadow. The position of the sun indicated that it would begin to set in about a half hour. He had plenty of time. Nonetheless, he vaulted down from the tree without delay and gingerly lifted Kikyou in his arms. Then he began striding purposefully toward the east, careful not to jostle his precious cargo.

“It was always amazing to watch you do that,” Kikyou observed once she had settled in his arms. “Though there were times when I did not appreciate it,” she admitted sadly. A heavy silence hung over them until she spoke again. “By now you are probably wondering what happened to the cold, heartless witch who formerly inhabited this body?”

Again Inuyasha moved to retort, and again his words were cut off by an escaping soul. It was just as well; he wasn’t sure what he might have said in denial of her assertion. Perhaps there was nothing he could have said. He didn’t want to lie to her, after all.

“It is all right,” Kikyou soothed, seeming to understand his reticence. “I do not blame you for feeling that way. I have been…a terrible person since my resurrection.

“When I told you before that Kagome saved me, I was not referring solely to my physical body. When she purified Naraku’s miasma, she unintentionally left a piece of herself behind. A light, if you will. And slowly, this light began to heal wounds within me which delved far deeper than the flesh. For many days I wandered, fighting against Kagome’s light, unwilling to let go of my bitterness and hate. It is fortunate that I did not find you until I did, for only recently have I been able to see things the way they truly are. I have accepted the way things truly are.”

Something in the way she spoke the last sentence set Inuyasha on edge, a rather embarrassing possibility coming to mind. “Kikyou, did you…see my memory?”

“I did.”

Inuyasha snapped his head to the side and averted his gaze. He knew his cheeks were turning the color of his haori, but he chose not to dwell on his embarrassment. He thought he knew what Kikyou was trying to say, but couldn’t be sure. Her words, tone, and facial expression were sending mixed signals. And this was one subject where there could be no misunderstanding.

“Kikyou, do you…”

“Do I accept that you love Kagome, and that she loves you in a way that I never could?”

Inuyasha stopped in his tracks as the gravity of the moment hit him in a rush. He had come to terms with his feelings for Kagome prior to being tricked by Hakago. And he had determined that those feelings would remain constant whether or not Kikyou had survived her encounter with Naraku at Mount Hakurei. He didn’t know what he would have done if Kikyou had continued to demand that he join her in hell, but he would not have gone with her. Ever. His life and his soul belonged to Kagome. That said, he still cared for Kikyou and would do what he could to lessen her suffering.

And it was clear that she was suffering. Those words had been probably been the most difficult thing she’d ever had to say. She was not happy to have spoken them. But Inuyasha could sense no bitterness in her expression. She was remorseful, but he sensed that this emotion was directed at her own past failings. If only they had loved each other more fully, then they could have joined as man and wife and lived out their lives together fifty years ago. Inuyasha could not blame her for feeling that way. But Kikyou seemed to understand that it was not meant to be, and remained at peace with reality. She accepted the way things were, though she took no joy in it.

Not knowing what to say was becoming a theme for Inuyasha, but he managed to find a few simple, heartfelt words.

“Kikyou…thank you.”

“There is no need to thank me, Inuyasha. I only wish for you to be happy, as you have always wished for me. I will be…content. A part of my soul will live on in Kagome. In that sense, I will always be with you.”

Inuyasha smiled sadly, drawing comfort from this observation. He loved Kagome with all of his being, but there would always be a place in his heart for Kikyou. She seemed to understand, closing her eyes and leaning her head against his shoulder.

A contented silence settled over the pair as their short journey continued. Neither of them spoke until well after Inuyasha seated himself on a deserted hillside in the meadow, the perfect place to watch the setting sun. Souls continued to escape from Kikyou, each one sapping a little more of her strength. Eventually she could no longer lift her head, and lay limply in his embrace. But her eyes were open, and a small smile graced her features as she gazed into the western sky, those gorgeous shades of pink and blue which almost seemed to be welcoming her back to where she belonged. Finally she spoke, in a tone so thin and fragile that human ears would have trouble picking it up.

“Do you remember…the first time we watched a sunset together?”

“Like I could forget that,” Inuyasha answered gently. It had been fairly soon after they first met, and he’d just started to see Kikyou as a potential companion rather than an enemy. “I remember thinking that I’d never noticed how beautiful it was before. It was the first time I actually looked forward to the sun rising the next morning.”

“We were young and foolish back then…but we did love, in our own way.”

Inuyasha could only nod, feeling his throat constrict under the barrage of emotions inspired by these memories.

“Inuyasha?”

“Y-yes?”

“May I ask one more favor?”

“Of course, Kikyou.”

“Scatter my ashes here. Please, do not return them to my grave. Let me rest here, where I shared my final moments with you. By your side…was more of a home to me than the village ever was.”

Two more souls escaped Kikyou then, and Inuyasha sensed that the end was near. He sobbed, finally losing the battle with his emotions.

“Inuyasha…I’ve never seen you make such a face and cry like that.”

“Kikyou…”

“Do not mourn for me, Inuyasha,” she told him again. “This time, I will go to my rest in the arms of my beloved. And that’s good enough.”

She favored him with a smile which took his breath away. But her eyes…she was asking something of him, perhaps without even realizing it. She would not hold it against him if he declined to grant it, but in that moment he could not refuse her. As he leaned in to kiss her, he filled his heart with memories of happier times, when they had been each other’s one and only friend. Shared loneliness had grown into love, flawed but genuine, and he poured all of it into the kiss, which remained chaste but full of passion. When he pulled away, Kikyou favored him with one final, brilliant smile, then burst into a great torrent of light. He felt her soul embrace him, and he closed his eyes, savoring the feeling. Then it was gone, soaring up into the heavens. Within moments, all that remained was the darkening sky overhead. Kikyou was finally at peace.

Inuyasha seated himself once more on the hillside. Kikyou had told him not to mourn, but this was one request he would refuse. Tonight, he would honor her memory by holding a private vigil, and remembering their time together. He would grant her this one evening, because starting tomorrow morning, every day and night for the rest of his life would belong to Kagome.

Five hundred years in the future, the missing piece of a young woman’s soul settled into the body of its rightful owner, napping peacefully in her bed. She stirred briefly, but did not wake. Later she would experience a sensation of completeness, but would be unable to place the feeling. For it was not yet time for her to learn what had just transpired, to discover that the man she loved was finally hers again.


A/N – Well, people who hate Kikyou probably won’t like this chapter. Sorry, but I love how her death was handled in the manga. In my opinion it is one of Rumiko Takahashi’s finest scenes. I’m not ashamed to say that my eyes still get a little bleary when I read it. Hence I tried to emulate that scene in this story, while also creating something which I could call my own. I hope it was a satisfying conclusion to the Hakago arc!