InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Blackout ❯ The Journey Home ( Chapter 44 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc.  I’m just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc.   I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I’ve created.  I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.  


The Journey Home


Inuyasha woke with a start, flailing his arms in front of him as if to ward off some unseen enemy.  His eyes darted to and fro, his ears swiveling in all directions.  But the only sound which struck him as out of the ordinary in any way was the unusually rapid beating of his own heart.  

Heaving a sigh, he slumped against the tree trunk at his back.  He supposed he should feel grateful that he hadn’t fallen out of the tree, but it was difficult to muster a positive thought.  It came as no surprise that the same guilt which plagued his waking moments had decided to visit him in his sleep.  He could still hear their voices, see them reaching for him, their fingers clenching and grasping futilely.  Some were faceless, while others he recognized from his intervals of consciousness while imprisoned within his own body.  Why? they asked.  Why did I have to die?  He had no answer for them.  One particular question haunted him the most—how many innocents had perished because of his failure?  

It was true that he had never allowed Hakago to kill an innocent person with his own claws.  That of course only held true if he did not regard human soldiers as ‘innocents’ and discounted his role, direct or indirect, in hundreds of military deaths.  The assertion fell on tenuous ground either way.  It was also true that he had been powerless to stop the bandits from murdering and raping as they pleased.  Hakago had encouraged their savagery, enabled them to victimize vastly more people than they otherwise would have.  Many innocents had lost their lives unnecessarily because he had fallen for the infant’s trick.  

That was one way to look at it.  The other was that he had no way of knowing how long the bandits would have continued their rampage without Hakago’s intervention, or how many people they would have victimized.  While that was technically correct, the other viewpoint was easier to sink into, in a darkly seductive sort of way.  

There were also exceptions, people who had actually benefitted from Hakago’s presence.  Chief among them was the young woman who had run away from the village where the infant had first encountered the bandits.  At the end of a lengthy pursuit, by which time the woman, barely more than a girl, lay weeping in a puddle of her own urine, Hakago had decided to let her go rather than dragging her back to the bandits.  She had suffered, but it was better than the treatment she would likely have received in the smoking ruins of the village which used to be her home.  And since Hakago had not caused the bandits to attack that particular village, it served as some comfort to know that at least one person was better off because the infant had come into her life.  Since she was perhaps the only person that logic applied to, however, it did little to soothe Inuyasha’s guilt.  

He fished the Shikon no Tama from his robes and held it up to the light, grimacing at its lack of luster.  It still maintained the pink hue it had assumed since being purified by Kikyou’s reiki during the final titanic clash of wills against Hakago, but over time it had begun to darken.  He found that he could keep the corruption at bay by turning his mind toward more pleasant pursuits, but when depressing thoughts set in like this the purity of the jewel inevitably declined.  

Deciding he’d had enough of his miserable musings, Inuyasha vaulted down from the tree.  His legs protested the landing, and he passed several minutes stretching his sore muscles.  Before resting last night, he’d spent most of the last thirty-six hours sprinting at top speed, or as near as he could muster.  At times it had been impossible to tell whether he was running toward his future or away from his past, all those ill-fated souls who called out to him with every whisper of wind, reached for him from every shadow.  He occasionally wondered how he was going to hold onto his sanity.  This was different from slaughtering Gatenmaru’s band of ruffians.  He hated killing humans, but those bastards had deserved to die.  Most of the men, women and children who had fallen victim to Hakago or his bandits, on the other hand, were innocent.  And then, as before, his weakness had resulted in human suffering and death.  

His throat reverberating with a half-growl, half-whimper, Inuyasha dug his foot into the ground and took off at a dead sprint.  Running would help.  He didn’t know why, but physical exertion made the guilt easier to deal with.  Without the sensory stimulus of activity or company, his mind tended to turn down a dark path.  He needed to think happier thoughts, pull himself away from that destructive course.  How horrible would it be to accidentally corrupt the Shikon no Tama and lose his mind after all he and Kagome had been through?  

Kagome…she was the one reason he stood a chance of making it home with his sanity intact.  Or more correctly, she was one of two reasons, and carried the other in her womb.  He valued her opinion above all others, and if she told him to forgive himself, then he would try.  He would devote his life to protecting his family, friends and neighbors, go on exorcisms with Miroku to help other settlements, and assist the people of Kaede’s village with their daily lives.  Bottom line: there was a lot of good he could do in the world.  And if by the end of his days the sum total did not make up for the evil he had caused, then he would face the consequences.  

Kagome would tell him to forgive himself…she had to.  He would tell her his story, and if she still accepted him, then he would confess his true feelings, say the words he should have spoken all those moons ago when she first cupped his cheek and told him that she loved him.  A selfish part of him hoped her memory of that night never returned.  He’d been such a terrible lover—clumsy, woefully inexperienced, and even worse, too drunk to hold himself back as much as he should have to lessen her discomfort.  He would look forward to the time when Kagome granted him the opportunity to make it up to her.  She would see it as simply making love for the first time while both of them were sober, but it would be more than that for him.  Only by loving her as she deserved in all senses of the word could he prove to himself and everyone else that he could be a good mate and husband.  It was not the only thing he had to prove; fatherhood loomed up before him, after all, and he was even more inexperienced at that than he was at lovemaking.  

Of course, he might already be a father; he wasn’t sure how much time had passed during his incarceration.  Kagome could have given birth already, which was yet another reason for his haste.  He wanted to be there supporting her when she brought their child into the world.  He wanted to hold the newborn babe in his arms and marvel at his son or daughter.  And right from the beginning, he wanted his offspring to know his scent, and recognize that he loved it more than life itself.  If he didn’t make it in time, he would of course adjust and move on.  But it would hurt, and he didn’t need anything else causing him pain right now.  

Despite his overall melancholy, Inuyasha was fairly optimistic that he would be there for the birth.  Kikyou said that she had wandered for ‘many days’ after Kagome rescued her from Naraku’s miasma.  Assuming that ‘many days’ meant between one to three months—which was probably true, or Kikyou might have said ‘many months’—then the timeline worked out in his favor.  Not even Kagome was stubborn enough to go traipsing around feudal japan when she was that close to giving birth.  Inuyasha was still debating whether to chew out Miroku, Sango, and Shippou for letting her go at all, after they had promised him that they wouldn’t.  But he knew how strong-willed Kagome could be, and the reality was that if she had complied with his wishes and stayed in the modern era, then he would not be here right now making his way back to her.  Kikyou would have either failed to save him or would have dragged him to hell after doing so.  Therefore, it would be pretty hypocritical of him to yell at his friends for giving in and going with her.  As long as she and the baby were safe, he would probably let them off with a mild scolding.  

As long as Kagome and the baby were safe, everything would be all right.  No irreparable damage had been done to any of the people he truly cared about, either emotional or physical.  Bonds of friendship could be reforged, and new, far deeper bonds could be created from scratch if need be.  But that would not be necessary, as long as Kagome still loved him.  In this his faith was almost absolute.  Her heart was the purest thing in existence, and it would not forget him so easily.  

Inuyasha ran for several hours, reflecting upon what waited for him back home, both in the immediate and long-term future.  And for the first time in two days, he was able to keep the negative thoughts completely at baby.  He did not stop until the mid-afternoon sun was at its apex.  The scent of fresh water reminded him of how thirsty he was, and he detoured through the forest running along the roadway to find a small stream.  After satisfying his thirst and shrugging off his robes to splash some cool water on his upper body, he determined to catch himself a meal.  His empty stomach protested at being fed only water, roiling at the thought of real sustenance.  Fortunately this area was full of game, and in short order he had a fire going, with rabbit meat roasting over it on sticks.  It reminded him of the old days, before he met Kikyou over fifty years ago.  Hopefully this was one of the last times he would have to camp by himself.  He was no longer accustomed to being alone, having spent many evenings in the company of friends.  The solitude was unsettling to say the least.  

After devouring his meal, Inuyasha returned to the roadway and resumed his journey.  He enjoyed running through forests more, but he could move faster on roads for the simple reason that he didn’t have to maneuver around any trees.  And speed was more important than pleasure right now.  He would continue until well after dusk, then stop and rest for a few hours.  He didn’t need a full night’s sleep, but a short break to regain his energy would make his daytime exertions more productive, as well as ensuring that he was in decent shape for a fight.  So far he’d been traveling too quickly for any nearby youkai to react to the presence of the Shikon no Tama.  But when he’d stopped last night, he’d been attacked by two lower youkai in rapid succession.  Only after carefully scouting the area had he allowed himself to sink deeply enough into slumber to generate dreams, and even then his senses were attuned to his surroundings.  That was one aspect of ‘the old days’ that he’d probably never outgrow, especially with a wife and child to protect.  

Wife.  You’re getting ahead of yourself again…  He hadn’t even asked Kagome to marry him, hadn’t even seen her in months, but ever since being liberated from Hakago he’d pictured himself as her husband.  He literally couldn’t help getting ahead of himself.  And honestly, anything which helped him maintain a positive state of mind so he could return to her was welcome.  

Inuyasha knew which direction he was heading and had a general idea of where he was on the rough map of central Honshu in his head, drawn over years of wandering the countryside.  But it wasn’t until he reached a familiar five-way intersection just before sunset that he was able to pinpoint his exact location.  He had been here before, and recently at that.  Down the second road to the left was the path which would eventually take him home.  And a short distance down the road to his immediate left…

For several minutes Inuyasha stood in the middle of the intersection, debating with himself.  A traveling salesman gave him an odd look as he passed but otherwise left him alone.  Fortunately this part of the country was far removed from the lands afflicted by the mysterious red-clad hanyou and his bandits, so it was unlikely that anyone would react to him with more fear and distrust than usual.  Two individuals here had, however, been directly affected by his failure to see through Hakago’s trick on that fateful day.  The infant had been exploring his new body’s limits, and had journeyed here in search of some unsuspecting and unwilling test subjects.  Inuyasha had fought hard to keep them alive that day, and back then he’d still been able to exert significant control over his body, so his efforts had met with success.  But his heart clenched at the memory of the little girl’s wide, frightened eyes, the scent of her tears as the cried in her mother’s lap.  

While scaring Shiori and her mother, Shizu, was probably the least of his sins, he still wanted to make it right if he could.  But would they listen to him, or would his appearance only make things worse?  Hence his dilemma.  Eventually he decided to approach.  If there was even a chance that he could soothe their fears and assure them that he wasn’t going to come back and slaughter them as promised, then he owed it to them to try.  And if it became clear that talking to them was a futile endeavor, he would run away and never return.  He owed them that consideration as well.  

Locating the hut the little hanyou shared with her mother was no challenge; it was the only one set apart from the village proper.  They were perhaps closer to the rebuilt village than they had been before, but not by much.  It saddened Inuyasha to see the obvious disconnect.  They’re still outcasts, even though Shiori’s courage drove away the bat-youkai and brought peace to the village.  It was disappointing, but not surprising; he’d always known that some hard times lay ahead for Shiori and her mom.  He was quite familiar with the cruelty of humans, after all.  Some humans, he corrected in his head.  He had eventually found some happy exceptions to the rule, and hopefully Shiori and Shizu would as well someday.  But as to the here and now, this pending reunion was not going to be pleasant.  Mother and daughter could be heard eating a quiet meal inside the hut.  Their peace was about to be shattered.  He would do his best to make his intentions clear as quickly as possible, but there was only so much he could do in that regard.  Then it would be up to them, and whether they were willing to listen.  After a deep breath to calm his nerves, Inuyasha pushed aside the flap over the door and stepped inside.  

Shizu noticed him immediately, from her position facing the doorway.  She gasped, but her shock in no way prevented her from taking action, as she simultaneously snatched up a knife with her right hand and pulled Shiori against her side with her left.  

“Go away!” she snarled, like a cornered tigress protecting her cub.  “I-If you come any closer, I’ll kill you!”  Despite her fierce words, the knife shook in her hand and her teeth ground together audibly.  It was clear that she doubted her ability to protect the only person she loved in this world from the monster before her, but would die trying.  

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Inuyasha said quietly, raising his hands in a placating gesture.  He slowly lowered himself into a crouch to appear less threatening, hoping they could read his body language and the sincerity in his expression.  

“Go away, you bastard,” Shizu demanded.  “Go away!”  

Inuyasha glanced from mother to daughter and back again.  Instead of any hint that they were receptive to his words, he found their expressions dominated only by fear and fury.  Shizu was blinded by her protective instinct, and Shiori…she was looking at him the same way she’d looked at Hakago.  Heaving a sigh, Inuyasha rose to his feet and turned to leave.  He would find no atonement here.  

“Wait!” a high-pitched voice called.  

“Shiori!”  

Inuyasha glanced over his shoulder to find that the little hanyou had broken away from her mother and was warily making her way over to him.  Shizu could be seen kneeling in the background, her face contorted with abject terror.  With faint hope blossoming in his chest, Inuyasha crouched down once more, bringing his face to Shiori’s level.  She stopped about a meter in front of him, studying him carefully.  Inuyasha met her gaze unflinchingly, praying that she would see what he was, and what he was not.  Finally she raised her hand.  Inuyasha looked down at the tiny appendage, so small and fragile, and almost reverentially raised his own hand to match.  He let Shiori initiate the contact, afraid to even breathe on her, let alone touch her.  He could barely breathe at all, as his heartbeat thundered in his chest and he waited for her to say something.  Perhaps he imagined the sensation of her youki pressing experimentally against his own.  But he knew he did not imagine the wondrous thing she did next—she smiled.  
“It’s okay, Kaa-chan,” she declared, turning back to her mother.  “Inuyasha-sama is himself again.”  

“Shiori, please…”  

Seeing how frightened her mother was, the little hanyou finally moved away from him and returned to her mother’s waiting arms.  As Shizu embraced her daughter, she painted Inuyasha with a harsh glare.  But this time, he knew that he would not be forced to leave, at least not before being granted an opportunity to explain himself.  Shiori’s acceptance and the fact that he hadn’t killed her had earned him that much at least.  Again with the idea of appearing as non-threatening as possible, Inuyasha seated himself against the doorframe, removing Tetsusaiga from his obi and setting it on the floor beside him.  Shizu watched his every move like a hawk, while Shiori continued to smile at him with the beautiful innocence of a child who believes with all of her heart that the person before her is a friend.  A wave of emotion caused Inuyasha to bite his lip and blink his eyes several times against a sudden persistent itching.  To see her looking at him like that meant a lot, more than it logically should.  Never again would he give her a reason to think ill of him.  

“The last time I was here, I was possessed by an evil youkai,” he began, deciding to get right to the point.  “I was trapped inside my own body, but I still had enough power to stop him from hurting you.  Now I’m free and the evil youkai is dead.  I came here to apologize and ask for your forgiveness.”  

“See, Kaa-chan!” Shiori exclaimed.  “I knew Inuyasha-sama wasn’t himself that day!”  

Shizu made no reply.  She continued to eye him warily, though her gaze did soften noticeably.  She was not ready to trust him completely, and probably would not be for some time.  But each piece of evidence told her that he meant no harm—his actions, her own two eyes, and her daughter’s judgment among them.  Everything except her memory of the day when he had threatened to slaughter them.  It would take more than a single evening to move beyond such a powerful memory, which Inuyasha understood.  He was just thrilled that they were willing to listen to him at all, as well as humbled by Shiori’s faith.  He had saved her once, but today, he could honestly say that she had saved him.  

“How were you possessed by this evil youkai?” Shizu finally asked, evidently wishing for more details.  Inuyasha was happy to oblige, but knew it would be a long tale.  To truly earn their trust, he would have to start from the beginning.  He was already formulating an idea, for which some level of trust was an absolute must.  When he told Shizu it would take a while, she responded by throwing a couple more pieces of wood onto the fire, scooting back against the wall and pulling Shiori into her lap.  She placed the knife on the floor by her side, still within easy reach, and gazed at him expectantly.  

Inuyasha started, as promised, at the beginning.  The first several dozen years of his life—he had no idea how long it actually was—could be summed up in a few short sentences.  His father was a daiyoukai, and had died soon after his birth.  He grew up with his mother until she too died, and he was banished to the wilds, where he grew up alone.  After many years he met the miko, Kikyou, guardian of the Shikon no Tama, a legendary jewel of power.  Together he and Kikyou agreed to purify the jewel so both of them could live normal lives.  He told the child-friendly version devoid of any romantic insinuations, but he was pretty sure that at least Shizu could read between the lines.  Next came a general description of the tragedy—a youkai named Naraku mortally wounded Kikyou and tricked her into pinning him to a tree with a sacred arrow.  

For fifty years he slept, until he was awakened by Kagome, who he later discovered was Kikyou’s reincarnation.  From there he delivered a general account of their journey to restore the Shikon no Tama and vanquish Naraku, including how Miroku, Sango, and Shippou had come to join them.  At some point during the tale, Shiori fell asleep, which was probably for the best.  When he got to the part about Kagome becoming pregnant with his child, he didn’t have to worry about tailoring his words for the little girl’s ears.  Shizu’s eyes widened in surprise, but she gave no sign of reproach.  She was probably the last person on Earth who would criticize someone for falling in love with a youkai and bearing his child, after all.  And Inuyasha was pretty sure that she understood what he wasn’t saying about his relationship with Kagome.  

It became more obvious over the next portion of the story, which took longer because he had trouble getting out his words in some parts.  A couple times he literally choked on his shame.  But Shizu continued to listen attentively, and not judgmentally, as he related how his failures had caused Kagome to lose herself to Hakago, the great struggle to liberate her and slay Naraku, and finally how Hakago had tricked him and taken control of his body.  He did not elaborate on how the infant had managed to deceive him, and was grateful that Shizu did not press him for details.  She seemed fairly overwhelmed by the time he finished the tale, and had probably never expected him to provide so much information about his life.  But there was a reason for it, which he would get to soon.  In the meantime, he would let his audience process the overflow of information in silence for as long as she needed.  Shizu only took a minute or two.  

“I think you’re telling the truth, but it just seems so fantastic,” she observed, her tone now almost conversational.  Overall, she seemed infinitely more relaxed than before, which Inuyasha was glad to see.  “Your life is like a fairy tale.  A tragic one, at times, especially about Kikyou.  How she died…you must feel pretty conflicted.  It was touching, but sad.”  

Inuyasha nodded.  “I wish…I could have done more for her.  But I’m glad she was at peace.”  

“It sounds like you did everything you could,” Shizu said, which was nice to hear despite the melancholy inspired by Kikyou’s memory.  

“Thanks.”  

She shook her head.  “No, I really mean it.  But…there’s one thing I don’t get.  You’ve been rushing home to see Kagome, and you’re not sure if she’s given birth yet but you’re really hoping to make it in time, and you still stopped here and wasted precious time just to see us?”  

Inuyasha, who had been nodding through the course of the question, found himself grimacing at the last part.  When one put it that way, it did seem rather foolish.  But also noble, which was clearly how Shizu felt about it.  

“I remembered what I—that bastard said to you, and I wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn’t going to come back and hurt you.  It was…important to me, for you to know that.”  

“Well, I appreciate it.  Since that day…it hasn’t always been easy for Shiori and me to sleep.  I lie awake at night, jumping at every sound, and she sometimes has nightmares.  She always believed that there was something wrong with you that day, but it was the fear that you wouldn’t be yourself when you came back that made it hard for her.  I haven’t seen her sleep this soundly in months,” Shizu observed with a tender smile, brushing a lock of hair away from her daughter’s face.  

“I thought about leaving the village, but out there is even more dangerous for us.  At least here the people tolerate us, and there still aren’t any youkai around because this used to be the heart of bat territory.  So when I say that I appreciate that you took the time to assure us that you’re back to normal, I really do mean it.  Thank you, Inuyasha.”  

Inuyasha, whose ears had wilted like dying plants as he learned of the suffering he’d caused, felt his heart lighten somewhat by Shizu’s display of gratitude.  He couldn’t give them back the sleepless nights or take away the nightmares, but he had at least ensured that they would experience no restlessness because of him in the future.  If he missed the birth as a result of this detour, he would not regret it, nor would Kagome hold it against him.  For once, he had accomplished exactly what he meant to.  Well, there was still one unfulfilled goal, which he turned to next.  

“Shizu…you said that the villagers ‘tolerate’ you and Shiori.  How are they treating you?”  

She shrugged.  “Better than before.”  

“But you’re still living out here by yourself.”  

This time Shizu shot him a questioning look, and her reply held elements of defensiveness.  “It’s better than it was.  The villagers don’t pick on us much anymore.  Like I said, they tolerate us.”  

“But they don’t accept you,” Inuyasha retorted.  “I noticed earlier that you didn’t call for help.  Was it because you knew nobody would come?”  

“Well, they wouldn’t have been able to do anything even if they did come, would they?” she snapped.  Shiori stirred and Shizu took a moment to soothe the girl back to slumber.  When she raised her eyes once more, she appeared equally tired and frustrated.  “Inuyasha, where are you going with this?”  

“I’m going home…and I’m hoping you’ll think about coming with me.”  

Shizu gasped.  For several long moments she studied him, her mouth hanging slightly open.  This is where telling his story ‘from the beginning’ came into play.  The first time they met, Shiori and Shizu had seen only the best part of him—the brave, heroic hanyou who would selflessly rescue a little girl simply because he wanted to.  The next time, he’d been a bloodthirsty monster, literally the stuff of nightmares.  The story of his past revealed him for what he truly was—a flawed man who consistently screwed up his personal relationships, but who was honorable and tried to be a good person.  This was a man she might be willing to entrust her daughter’s safety to, rather than the unrealistic superhero.  For now she knew him, faults and all.  And if she did not consider that man worthy of such trust, then she should refuse his offer.  Finally Shizu swallowed and spoke.

“Inuyasha…are you offering to take Shiori and me to your village?”  

Inuyasha nodded sharply.  “Look, I can’t promise you a hanyou paradise.  I’m sure some of the villagers harbor prejudice toward youkai.  But there are enough who don’t to make a real difference.  You’d have it better than you do here.  You’d actually be able to live in the village.  Shiori would be able to play with kids her own age.  Miroku and Sango are gonna settle down and start a family there.  Kagome and I are gonna do the same.  There won’t be any place in the world better for a hanyou to grow up, you have my word on that,” he stated resolutely.  “Don’t decide now.  Just think about it.  I’ll return in a few moons, and if you decide to come, then I’ll take you there myself.”  

Again he gave Shizu some time to process his offer.  He couldn’t tell exactly what she was thinking, but it was obvious that she found the idea of raising Shiori in a place more accepting of her kind very appealing.  Any mother would want the same for her child.  The issues were probably trust, and the natural fear of the unknown.  It was one reason why he had told her just to think about it for now, with the more selfish desire to get back to Kagome as soon as possible being the other.  

Eventually Shizu did agree to consider his offer, and thanked him for it.  If Inuyasha was a betting man, he would put money on her eventual acceptance.  He would return in a few moons as promised and hear the answer then.  And if they chose to remain here, then he would wish them the best, and probably check on them periodically over the years.  He’d grown pretty fond of Shiori, and Shizu wasn’t so bad herself, once you got past her protective instinct.  

Inuyasha departed shortly thereafter in decent spirits, determined to run nearly non-stop until dusk the following evening.  He’d had his rest, and could now make up for lost time.  With any luck, a very pregnant Kagome would be waiting for him on the other side of the bone eater’s well.  And if he was too late, then he would take solace in the fact that he had improved the lives of two of Hakago’s victims.  He hoped they would allow him to continue to do so in the future.  

Inuyasha’s heart leapt in his chest the instant the bone eater’s well came into view.  It had been a long journey to get here, and he didn’t intend to waste another moment.  Fortunately, his excitement did not overpower his innate sense of his surroundings, and he noticed that something was slightly off about the wooden structure before attempting to leap into it.  That would have been very painful.  For plastered across either side of the frame were small pieces of paper which did not belong there.  Closer inspection revealed them to be protective sutras, and an experimental touch sparked an energetic and stinging reaction.  It was likely that no one possessing youkai blood would be able to pass.  

Inuyasha growled in annoyance.  He was glad that his friends had taken steps to protect Kagome, in case Hakago decided to go after her in the modern era.  But now he had to delay his reunion with her to ask Miroku to remove the sutras.  Irritating as that was, he supposed it was a necessary hindrance.  As long as the monk didn’t make this more difficult than it needed to be, then no one would have to suffer an anxious hanyou’s wrath.  

He found Miroku and Sango eating dinner in a new hut not far from Kaede’s.  Hmph, those two certainly wasted no time, did they?  Not that he could blame them.  Shippou and Kirara were with them, but what really drew his attention was Sango’s scent.  Heh, they really wasted no time.  He would congratulate them later, however; tonight he had somewhere else to be.  Knowing it was only a matter of time before someone detected his scent or his aura, Inuyasha cleared his throat loudly.  As expected, the noise sent all four occupants scrambling out of the hut, armed and ready for combat.  

“It’s me, you idiots,” he declared, folding his arms over his chest.  He couldn’t suppress a grin; it truly was nice to see them again.  It was clear, however, that while his friends wanted to believe him, they were not yet ready to let down their guard.  

“If that is true,” Miroku responded seriously, “then you will not mind submitting to an inspection.”  

“What kind of inspection?” Inuyasha demanded, somewhat nervously.  In reply, Miroku drew a sutra from his robes, one which the hanyou recognized.  He groaned.  “Not that fuckin’ thing!”  

“Relax, Inuyasha.  If it is truly you, then you will only have to wear this for a few moments.”  

Grumbling under his breath, the hanyou seated himself on the ground.  Bad enough he had to be restrained; at least this way he wouldn’t fall face-first into the dirt.  “Go ahead,” he snapped, repeating in his head the calming mantra that this was all for Kagome.  His muscles seized uncomfortably as the sutra struck his forehead, and just like that, he found himself unable to move any part of his body more than a centimeter or two.  He could speak in this position, but only with some difficulty.  

Miroku got right down to business, kneeling before him and placing his hands on Inuyasha’s shoulders.  The hanyou felt the monk’s spiritual aura digging into his own, the motivation exploratory rather than hostile.  Inuyasha did his best to relax and keep his youki from lashing out against the foreign presence.  Fortunately Miroku finished his examination quickly as promised, sitting back on his haunches and adopting a relieved smile.  

“Welcome back, my friend,” he declared, causing Sango and Shippou to heave sighs of relief.  “Might I ask how you freed yourself from Hakago?”  

“I’ll tell you later.  Take this damn sutra off already.”  

Sango snorted.  “That’s our Inuyasha, all right.  Seems like he’s definitely back to normal.”  

“Maybe we should leave him like that for a while,” Shippou suggested, sounding as though he was only half joking.  

Miroku seemed to ponder the idea carefully.  “You know, that might not be such a terrible idea.  Perhaps we should leave the sutra on.”  

Inuyasha growled.  “Not unless you want your kid to grow up without a father!”  

Instantly the jovial atmosphere of the gathering shifted, as both adults stared at him in shock.  Shippou smacked himself in the forehead, and muttered in a voice too quiet for human ears to pick up.  “So much for ‘finding the right time.’  Baka.”  

All of this told Inuyasha that he might have revealed something which the two prospective parents were not aware of yet, something which he perhaps should have revealed, as Shippou suggested, at a more opportune moment.  Oh, well, too damn bad!  They shouldn’t have been teasing me!  Even in his own head that sounded immature.  

“Inuyasha, am I…”

Oh, déjà vu was a cruel mistress.  Those were the exact same words which Kagome had used to ask if she was with child, though hopefully the reactions of the two women would be decidedly different.  Feeling as though he was performing a private joke with himself, Inuyasha gave the same response he’d given back then.  

“Pregnant?”  

Sango turned to Miroku, and for a brief moment the two of them stared at each other with the same dazed expression.  Then at once both of their faces lit up, and suddenly they were embracing, laughing together as Miroku swung Sango around in a circle.  Finally he set the taijiya on her feet only to kiss her passionately, leaving hanyou and kitsune understandably stunned.  Especially the former, who had never seen them behave like this before.  In fact, Inuyasha received the distinct impression that he’d been completely forgotten about.  

“Oi!  Will somebody take this fucking sutra off?!”

Inuyasha sighed, staring into the darkness at the bottom of the well.  He stood on the lip of the structure, which was finally devoid of any protective sutras.  Miroku had removed the evil little slips of paper, after a conversation which Inuyasha had found somewhat productive despite his general grumpiness.  He’d learned that Kagome was indeed still pregnant, or at least she had been yesterday.  Sango thought she was a little more than eight months along, so he’d arrived with time to spare.  

The subject of Kagome’s pregnancy had driven Inuyasha to demand to know why the others had allowed her to go out looking for him.  Their justification did not surprise him, since it stemmed from Kagome’s stubbornness.  They apologized and begged his forgiveness for breaking their promise, which made Inuyasha feel guilty enough to confess the truth behind his liberation from Hakago.  His friends were still apologetic even after learning that Kagome’s intervention had set into motion events which directly led to his salvation, but as far as Inuyasha was concerned it was all water under the bridge.  They had gone with Kagome to keep her safe and helped persuade her to give the baby priority to at least some extent.  In doing so, they had done all that he could reasonably ask of them.  

In a strange sort of way, however, that conversation was responsible for his current predicament.  Absent the immediate thrill of bursting through the tree line and seeing the well again for the first time in months, he found that he lacked the courage to leap into the time portal.  Now instead of blindly following his heart, he stood frozen in place with his mind running rampant on him.  Would Kagome really be glad to see him after all this time?  What would she say to him?  More importantly, what would he say to her?  Baka!  You just have to be honest about your feelings for once!  That was exactly what he was worried about.  

“This is stupid,” he said aloud.  Was he really pussyfooting around with his emotions again?  This shit had to stop!  You are stronger than this.  

He was…he had to be.  For Kagome’s sake, and for the sake of his child.  He tilted his head back and gazed up into the sky, at the stars which had just begun to emerge from their curtain of blackness.  Then, without looking down, he stepped into the void.